Can We Impeach Now?
I know, I know. There is no reason to impeach the president. It would be so bad for Democrats, the nation would be split and blah, blah, blah. Never mind that every day we seem to get more information about an insanely out of control White House. Like last week, when former White House press secretary Scott McClellan made a little boo boo.
Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan writes in a memoir that he unintentionally misled the public about the leak of a CIA operative's name because of misinformation given to him by President George W. Bush, political adviser Karl Rove and other top officials.
Uh oh! That would be illegal. Turns out you cant lie to federal investigators, and if this statement is true, then that is exactly what Bush did. When Patrick Fitzgerald was investigating the Plame leak, he questioned Bush. George
explained that he had directed Cheney to counter allegations made by Joe Wilson that the White House had lied about Iraq trying to acquire uranium. Bush also said he gave the order to disclose, Highly classified information that would discredit Wilson.
But Bush told investigators that he was unaware that Cheney had directed I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, the vice president's chief of staff, to covertly leak the classified information to the media instead of releasing it to the public after undergoing the formal governmental declassification processes.
Bush also said during his interview with prosecutors that he had never directed anyone to disclose the identity of then-covert CIA officer Valerie Plame, Wilsons wife. Bush said he had no information that Cheney had disclosed Plames identity or directed anyone else to do so.
McClellans statement would mean that Bush LIED to Fitzgerald. Martha Stewart went to jail for lying to federal investigators, because it is a FUCKING CRIME. An ex-White House press secretary just said that he knowingly passed along false information in order to confuse investigators. Heres another example of someone committing the same crime: SCOOTER FUCKING LIBBY. Libby was charged with two counts of making false statements when interviewed by agents of the FBI and one count of obstruction of justice for covering up the same thing that Bush did. Holy shit! Now lets all sit on our ass!
Naturally, our wonderful media yawned and took a nap. I mean, shit, what is there to write about? The president was only just implicated in a crime. Although its not the first time someone has given us information that the president was involved. The first piece of evidence came from a guy named Dick Cheney in the form of a certain note he scribbled one day that was presented during Scooter Libbys trial:
Not going to protect one staffer and sacrifice the guy this Pres. asked to stick his head in the meat grinder because of the incompetence of others.
So, during Scooter Libbys trial we learned this and now McClellan has backed it up with a statement. Is it conclusive? No. Should Congress open an impeachment investigation? Fuck yes.
McClellan, of course, retracted his statement.
Former White House spokesman Scott McClellan does not believe President Bush lied to him about the role of White House aides I. Lewis Scooter Libby or Karl Rove in the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity, according to McClellan's publisher.
Looks like someone got a few phone calls from people yelling, You asshole, you just claimed the president committed a crime!
Judges and lawyers take notice of public statements because they often turn out to be true. Its the one that comes later, when you say, But, but, I meant something else, that is the lie. And in this case, the statement is corroborated by actual evidence presented during a trial. And what happened to that trial anyway?
Oh, right, a pardon. For a guy who could have avoided jail by squealing on
the president. Well, now, that is a big fucking crime, isnt it?
But, I know, an impeachment investigation would be bad for Democrats. And that is really the greater good, isnt it? Not the rule of law, but the rule of party.
Asshole Fuckface Roundup
It's 7-7-07. You know what that means! It's time for another Asshole Fuckface Roundup! There are an enormous amount of assholes in the world but only a few make the cut and land up on the FearTheReaper Asshole Fuckface Roundup. Here are this week's winners:
First up, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold has been getting quite a bit of press lately for taking the lead on environmental issues.
Now Schwarzenegger, a Republican, wants to use his star power to turn global warming into an issue in the 2008 presidential election. "There is a whole new movement because of the change of people sent to Washington," Schwarzenegger said in an interview this week, referring to the Democratic Party's impending takeover of Congress. "We want to put the spotlight on this issue in America. It has to become a debate in the presidential election. It has to become an issue."
Yay! Hes an environmentalist! No, wait, thats not right. What would you call him? Uh...oh, yeah, hes a fucking liar. Arnold recently fired the executive officer of the California Air Resources Board for not being tough enough. The executive officer claimed he was fired for pushing to implement more aggressive action to curb global warming than the administration supports.
Then another board member quit. She also claimed the "green governor" was pressing the board to go easy on businesses. The board is supposed to be an independent of the governors office.
Witherspoon said she and her staff were routinely pressured by the administration to soften crackdowns on heavy diesel construction equipment and other machinery after industry officials complained.
In an attempt to stop the bleeding, Arnold has appointed a staunch environmentalist to run the board, but the damage has already been done.
"You can have the best person at the helm of the board, but if the administration is trying to micromanage it on a day-to-day basis, it won't make a difference who is in charge over there," said Assembly Speaker Fabian Nuñez (D-Los Angeles). "It will lose credibility and become politicized."
Sounds like Arnold has learned a lot from our current president. Keep destroying everything that is good in our government, boys. And, to add a little icing on the cake, Arnold has been taking lavish trips that are paid for by a "nonprofit group."
Arnold Schwarzenegger, a millionaire many times over, bills much of his overseas travel to an obscure nonprofit group that can qualify its secret donors for full tax deductions, just as if they were giving to skid row shelters or the United Way.
Isnt that awesome? If anyone needs to be taken care of due to a lack of funds, its Arnold. Just last week he went to Austria, England and France. He gets to fly on plush private jets and stay in hotel suites that cost thousands of dollars a night. And its all paid for by charities!
By giving to the foundation, donors avoid having their identities made public, because charities are not governed by the disclosure rules that apply to campaign contributions. And they can donate unlimited amounts to the nonprofit, which is not subject to contribution ceilings the way campaign accounts are.
Didnt take Arnold long to become a corrupt Asshole Fuckface, but then again, I didnt expect much from the star of Twins. (I do expect a lot from Danny Devito, however.)
It wouldnt be an Asshole Fuckface Roundup without a ridiculous lawsuit. Meet Susan McBride. Shes an employee who has been nearly crippled by pretty scents.
An employee in the Detroit planning department who claims she is severely sensitive to perfumes and other cosmetics has sued the city, saying a co-worker's strong fragrance prohibits her from working.
Not since the great pants lawsuit of 2007 has there been a more idiotic use of the judicial system. I cant wait until someone sues a co-worker for showing him or her blueberries. It will happen. A year ago a co-worker started working in the office and nearly killed McBride.
"This employee not only wore a strong scent, but also plugged in a scented room deodorizer," the lawsuit states. "Ms. McBride was overcome by the smell almost instantly, causing her to go home sick."
The co-worker later agreed to stop using the room deodorizer, but kept using perfume, the lawsuit states.
McBride claims the work environment is in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. She is demanding perfumes and other smells be banned at work. Oh, and she wants a cash settlement. The poor woman has been through hell, smelling perfumes and room deodorizers. She is basically a cripple now, from all the smelling and whatnot. She deserves a few million at least. Or, alternatively, someone could cram a deodorizer up her arse.
What would an Asshole Fuckface round up be without a fat, white, corrupt Republican?
Meet Representative Ken Calvert of California. Hes a class act. In 2001, a Riverside park district asked to buy four acres of land, with the hope of turning it into a park. The land could have been the only park in a lower-income, mainly Hispanic neighborhood. Unfortunately for the poor people, Calvert had his eye on the land, too. He snatched it up in what appears to be an illegal transaction.
A California city government agency broke the law when it sold a four-acre parcel of land to a group of investors which included Rep. Ken Calvert, R-Calif., an investigative grand jury has concluded. Calvert and his partners planned to build a mini-storage facility on the property.
Just doing the work of the people. Who needs a fucking park? Kids love mini-storage facilities!
The grand jury concluded that the city agency did not follow the law when it sold the property to Calvert. The agency was required by law to offer the land to other government entities before it was sold to private investors. The park district will now go to court to get the land. It must have just been a coincidence that the land was sold to Calvert and his fellow investors.
Just as it must have been a coincidence in 2005 when Calvert bought four-acres of land that quickly doubled in price. It also must have been a coincidence that he used his influence to get funding for a nearby freeway interchange. But hes got a great excuse.
"They haven't passed a law against investing yet," Calvert told the paper.
Ha ha! Good one! I hope you crammed a cigar in your mouth after you said that and then flipped a coin to a street urchin, you asshole fuckface.
Speaking of Asshole Fuckfaces, it didnt take long for the Scooter Libby supporters to climb out from under their rocks.
They have a great defense for Bushs total disrespect for the rule of law. It is really simple, they just scream, Clinton, Clinton, Clinton, until they pass out. The only problem is they end up looking like hypocritical assholes. It is rare they get called on it, but when they do it is a beautiful sight.
I am no fan of Clinton, but there is a pretty profound difference between the two acts. Clinton lied under oath because he didnt want to talk about getting blowjobs from a woman. He could not be convicted of perjury because the federal statute requires that the lie be about something material to the case. The judge in Clintons case ruled his statements were not material to the case and excluded all evidence about Lewinsky from the suit. Therefore, Clinton was never tried or convicted of perjury.
Libby, on the other hand, was convicted of four counts of perjury, obstruction of justice and making false statements. Libby did all that while working for the administration and probably protecting Cheney. The prosecutor said, there is a dark cloud over the Vice President. BIG FUCKING DIFFERENCE.
The time when convicted criminals come forth to broker a deal and give up their criminal friends is right before they go to prison. Which means Bush undermined one of the prosecutors best tools to get the truth. It seems Bush has obstructed justice, by commuting the sentence of Libby's obstruction of justice conviction in an attempt to avoid holding the Administration accountable for its actions. You are an idiot if you equate this action to anything Clinton did.
But I shouldnt even be getting into the argument of what Clinton did. Why? Because blaming Clinton for something does not excuse Bush for what is clearly abuse of his power. If we want to live under those rules, then I submit that what John Wayne Gacy did was totally cool because Jeffrey Dahmer did the same thing. Fucking morons.
Last but not least, the Republican Party.
Yesterday, the Republican Party unveiled their South Dakota candidate to run against Democrat Tim Johnson for the US Senate. Meet state representative Joel D. Dykstra. He is a complete religious nut job, but that is what the Republicans love these days. Dyksta received a degree in business from Oral Roberts University in 1980. He then had a delightful 19-year career in the oil and gas exploration industry. He is like a Republican wet dream.
But Dykstra has never had a greater moment than on April 20, 2006 during an abortion debate, when he said this:
"I think 'rape and incest' is a buzzword. It's a bit of a throwaway line and not everybody who says that really understands what that means. How are you going to define that?
I dont know, they really are such vague buzzwords. Its like murder. What the fuck does that even mean?
Congrats to this weeks Asshole Fuckface winners! You each get a free FearTheReaper T-shirt!
Bush Cuts Libby Loose From Prison
George Bush continued his relentless attack on the will of the American people and the law today by commuting the sentence of Scooter Libby.
President Bush commuted the sentence of former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby on Monday, sparing him from a 2 1/2-year prison term that Bush said was excessive. Bush's move came hours after a federal appeals panel ruled Libby could not delay his prison term in the CIA leak case.
That meant Libby was likely to have to report to prison soon and put new pressure on the president, who had been sidestepping calls by Libby's allies to pardon the former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney.
"I respect the jury's verdict," Bush said in a statement. "But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby's sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison."
Yeah, dude had it really hard. He was sentenced by a jury of his peers to serve time for obstructing and investigation into the outing of a CIA agent.
This is clearly more of the same from Bush and company. The more they are pushed to stay within the law, the more they push back and shove their power in the faces of America and Congress. In this case it is a clear response to the latest subpoenas issued by Congress for the administrations records on the US Attorney scandal and illegal wiretapping.
There should be one response and only one response by Congress: Impeach Dick Cheney. Show this cunt of a president what power really means. There are ample reasons to do so, so impeach the fucker.
FearTheReaper is on vacation, sitting in a pool with a cool beer between his legs and did not want to be bothered with this bullshit.
Forget Free Paris. Free Scooter!
Poor, poor Scooter Libby. Convicted of a crime for covering up a non-crime. Stuck in a political quagmire for which there is no escape. Except one.
President Bush has pardoned 113 people during his presidency, including a Tennessee bootlegger and a Mississippi odometer cheat.
But none has drawn the public scrutiny, nor posed the same political challenge, as the candidate that many conservatives hope will be Bush presidential pardon No. 114: I. Lewis Libby Jr., the former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney, who was convicted of lying to investigators in the C.I.A. leak case and sentenced Tuesday to 30 months in prison.
Libby, who was convicted this week by a federal criminal jury of lying to federal investigators and a grand jury, faces 2.5 years in the clink. But now many conservatives, some of those same laws are laws folks who decry lenient sentencing and rail against activist judges, are saying instead to President Bush: let my Scooter free!
A decision not to pardon Mr. Libby would further alienate members of Mr. Bushs traditional base of support in the conservative movement, a group already angry about his proposed immigration policy, his administrations spending and his approach to Iran.
So far, Mr. Bush seems to be willing to take that chance, saying he will not intervene until Mr. Libbys legal team has exhausted its avenues of appeal.
Already, major conservative and neoconservative organizations, magazines and Web sites are expressing vexation that Mr. Bush has not granted clemency to Mr. Libby, who they say was unfairly railroaded for an initial leak that has now been traced to Richard L. Armitage, the former deputy secretary of state.
I dont understand it, said David Frum, a former speech writer for Mr. Bush who is now a fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative research group with close ties to the White House. A lot of people in the conservative world are weighted down by the sheer, glaring unfairness here.
I know, David! I mean, when you tell a grand jury, under oath, that you dont know anything about a major political scandal when in actuality youve had extensive knowledge of the situation and thereby attempt to stymie a federal investigation, its just so unfair for you to get nailed for perjury. So, so very unfair. I mean, its not like any major liberal figure has ever been nailed for lying to federal investigators, right? Its NEVER HAPPENED, OK!?!?!
Taking up Scooters cause are such fine publications as the National Review and The Wall Street Journal. Those of you concerned about poor Scooters plight can make a donation or a show of support at his website, which features this heartfelt endorsement from another American hero:
Scooter Libby is one of the most capable and talented individuals I have ever known.
-Vice President Dick Cheney.
How beautiful.
Regardless of this generous outpouring of support among neo-cons, President Bush isnt taking the bait. Fearing retribution and attention from an already weary American public, Bush has smartly shied away from issuing a knee-jerk pardon. Because the sentence is likely to begin right away, Bush also wont really have time to pardon him during his lame-duck period. The real fireworks (or lack thereof) will come once Libbys appeals are exhausted. Then well find out how tough on crime Bush really is.
Libby Convicted! Can We Pardon Him Already?
Time to start you betting pools. When does Scooter Libby get a pardon from George W. Bush? Its the important question to ask today because Scooter was just convicted of 4 of 5 counts in his perjury and obstruction of justice trial.
Libby was convicted of:
Obstruction of justice when he intentionally deceived a grand jury investigating the outing of CIA operative Valerie Plame;
Making a false statement by intentionally lying to FBI agents about a conversation with NBC newsman Tim Russert;
Perjury when he lied in court about his conversation with Russert;
A second count of perjury when he lied in court about conversations with other reporters.
Scooter was cleared on another count of making a false statement. The maximum sentence is 25 years in prison and a fine of $1 million.
CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin said, "He is virtually certain to go to prison if this conviction is upheld."
What a fucking shame.
According to reporters, Fitzgerald has wrapped up the case and there will be no further prosecutions. Some had speculated the prosecutor would be going after Cheney next because Fitzgerald said, there is a dark cloud over the Vice President in his closing argument. But, it's not going to happen.
So, enjoy this brief period of justice and get ready for a pardon!