by Blogbot


[Olga in http://suicidegirls.com/girls/Olga/photos/Party++Girl/ " target="_blank">Party Girl]

SuicideGirls’ team of Bloggers and Agony Aunts share their suggestions on how you can give 2012 a kick-ass kick start.

1. There's someone you haven't spoken to in a long time. Too long. You fear by now you've procrastinated so long that it's lame to reach out, so you've effectively paralyzed a valuable friendship that could easily re-blossom with a single call. You're not paralyzed, it's just a head trip. Guilt is useless. Make that call. Say Hi. Apologize. Laugh. Love. Life's too short. Do it right now. “Happy New Year! I suck” is a great way to start a conversation! – Steve Altman

2. Cut off deadwood! Start by defriending, hiding or blocking the toxic individuals from your Facebook and Twitter feeds. – Dalila Suicide

3. Spend time with people that make you feel taller, brighter, and more capable than you did before. – Darrah de jour

4. Try dating someone you wouldn't ordinarily date. Like, say, maybe an introverted writer-type that contributes to your favorite alt-beauty blog. Or an evangelical Christian. Those are your only two choices though: the writer or the evangelical. Choose wisely. – Matt Dunbar

5. Spend some time with a niece, nephew or cousin who are growing up and could use your advice. – Atlea Suicide

6. Talk to someone from your Facebook list face-to-face. – CoyoteMike

7. Come to terms with the fact that you mom has a Facebook. – Shotgun Suicide

8. Eating vegetarian style meals reduces the green house gas production. Try to incorporate this in to your lifestyle one day a week. It's good for you and the earth. – Aadie Suicide

9. Eat lots and lots of cupcakes!!!! What? They’re epic and always put a smile on my face! – Kraven Suicide

10. Unfuck your habitat! There's nothing like vastly improving your quality of life by having a clean, organized living space. Need tips and/or motivation? Visit unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/, because "no matter what our situations are, we deserve better than to live in filth." – Perdita Suicide

11. Clean your car and your house through and through. – Atlea Suicide

12. Rearrange a room to get a fresh perspective on life. – Rambo Suicide

13. Go through all your clothes and decide if someone could make better use of some of them. Drop the excess baggage off at a shelter or contributing organization in your area. – Atlea Suicide

14. Donate those holiday presents that you don't like. – Shotgun Suicide

15. Shop local whenever possible. – Salome Suicide

16. Eat at your favorite mom & pop restaurant, before it goes bankrupt too. – Shotgun Suicide

17. Set up a computer backup plan. Be ready for World Backup Day. – Bob Suicide

18. Start and finish a project you've had in mind for a long time. Renovations, painting a vase, knitting, really anything. – Atlea Suicide

19. Set a stupid goal and accomplish it, to prove to yourself that you can. – Darrah de jour

20. Quit saying you will do something and actually do it. When tasks, errands, and commitments are followed through with you feel much more productive. – Kraven Suicide

21. Take a risk. – Darrah de jour

22. Spend an hour with a happy dog, scratching his or her ears. – CoyoteMike

23. Try to go outside each day. Go for a walk. Make sure you have at least 20 minutes of "me" time. This way you’re incorporating self-thought and exercise. It's very important to get to know yourself. You could be pleasantly surprised. – Aadie Suicide

24. Learn a new skill: baking, crocheting, taxidermy, etc. – Rambo Suicide

25. Take a college class that you want to take, not one that you need. – Shotgun Suicide

26. Find a hobby you can dedicate some time to. Something you love and have passion for. It keeps us young at heart and sane when we can lose our selves in something. – Kraven Suicide

27. Splurge on some really fancy underwear. – Rambo Suicide

28. Add a little color to your life however you see fit. A colorful world is so much better than a black and white one. – Kraven Suicide

29. Make time for yourself. Seriously. Put it in your calendar. Whether it is daily, weekly or monthly, schedule some time and don't cut out on it for anyone. You're the only one looking out for you. – Smythe Suicide

30. Treat yourself to an energy renewal weekend, be it at the spa or simply just by unplugging the phone and reading a book. – Atlea Suicide

31. Set up an automatic transfer of money into a savings account each month. – Salome Suicide

32. Watch Fight Club. – Darrah de jour

33. Listen to Valleyheart by She Wants Revenge – Nicole Powers

34. Read Little Brother by Cory Doctorow (snag a free copy here) - EisMC2 and JackalAnon

35. See more live comedy and live music. - Squee Suicide

36. Support non-profit journalism - American Independent News Network, Truthout, GregPalast.com, BradBlog.com are all 501c3's - donate to support the news that you read for free. Oh, and it's tax deductible. – ZDRoberts

37. Protest the NDAA, unless you don't care to plead the 5th. – Shotgun Suicide

38. Join the EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation) if you care about stopping SOPA. If you spend any time online, you should do. (For that matter, if you’re breathing, you should do!) – Nicole Powers

39. Protect your vote. The election is less than a year away, and you'll need to start working now to make sure your vote actually counts. Find out why and how by downloading Steal Back Your Vote for free. SuicideGirls helped promote the project so you know it's awesome and worth a read. – ZDRoberts

40. Get to know your presidential candidates. Look beyond the big social issues like abortion, and research their tax plans, health care ideas, and how they've voted in the past. You might find out they aren't who you thought they were based on a few Facebook posts and Twitter campaigns. The election is coming soon. – Damon Martin

41. Stop by and say hi to your local Occupy. Shake someone's hand and say “Thank you.” You’d be surprised how much it means to them. Oh, and give them a pair of mittens, it gets cold out there. – ZDRoberts

42. Write “Thank You” notes and post them to people who have helped you get through 2011. – Atlea Suicide

43. Send a letter to a friend, the kind with a stamp. – Shotgun Suicide

44. Create good karma. Treat others as you would want to be treated. In this day in age too many people are being hurtful towards one another in many forms. From anonymous hating via the internet, to being rude to a stranger just because your day didn’t go so well, to physical acts of hate out of spite, jealousy or lack of confidence. Think about how you can be a positive impact on others around you, from your family, friends, neighbors and strangers. Small gestures of kindness can go a long ways and karma will make its way back to you. – Dorsal Suicide

45. Pay for the next person in line at the coffee shop. – CoyoteMike

46. Find joy in the small things. It will help you appreciate the big things so much more. – Kraven Suicide

47. Make today count, because one day you will be nostalgic for it. – Shotgun Suicide

48. Spend more time living in the moment, and less time worrying about the past and the future. Neither of these exist – so live in the present! – Fabrizia Suicide

49. The past is over. Now move your ass. Welcome to 2012. – Darrah de jour

50. Have no regrets. It’s a New Year and that means progress. Do not look back, only forward to the happiness ahead! – Kraven Suicide

by Brad Warner

Chogyam Trungpa Rimpoche was a lot of things. When he was just 18 months old he was recognized as the reincarnation of a high Tibetan lama. He escaped Tibet’s Chinese rulers when he was 20 years old, fleeing through the icy mountains on foot with a group of 300, only 13 of whom made it across the border to India. He went to England and started the first Tibetan Buddhist center in the Western world. A short while later he came to America where he set up the Shambhala foundation. Then he proceeded to fuck dozens of his students before drinking himself to death at age 48.

Now someone’s made a movie about Trungpa, called Crazy Wisdom. It’s pretty good.

I never met Trungpa myself. But my first Zen teacher worked for him for a while as an instructor at Naropa Institute, the Buddhist university Trungpa founded in Boulder, Colorado. It was the first Buddhist university in the West. He used to tell me wild stories about Trungpa’s excesses. One time Trungpa threatened my teacher saying that demons would fly through his window at night and tear him to bits. One guy I talked to watched Trungpa down two 40 ouncers of beer during a public dharma talk. Then there’s the story I’ve heard from about half a dozen people about the time Trungpa forced a couple to participate in an orgy by ordering his uniformed guards to strip them naked against their will.

And yet for all his scandalous activities, Chogyam Trungpa is still revered 24 years after his death as one of the great Buddhist masters. Johanna Demetrakas’ new film Crazy Wisdom seeks to understand this contradictory figure. Was he merely a madman who conned thousands into thinking he was a guru? Or was his crazy wisdom really more wise than crazy after all?

I’ve never been quite sure just what to make of Trungpa. His book Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism is still one of my favorites on the subject of pursuing the dharma authentically. And yet he was a drunk and a sex fiend. Even his closest students admit that. He never hid any of this, though. And that’s what made him different. While poor old Richard Baker Roshi, head of the San Francsico Zen Center was getting flayed alive for having a brief affair with one student, Trungpa was out there screwing his followers like there was no tomorrow. And nobody seemed too fussed about it.

It turns out that perhaps sex isn’t the real problem. The real problem may be spiritual teachers who present themselves as one thing and then act completely contrary to that image. This is something Chogyam Trungpa never did.

Crazy Wisdom is a wonderfully entertaining film about this amazing contradictory man. Although the filmmakers are followers of Trungpa and naturally seek to present him in a positive light, they don’t gloss over his faults either. Trungpa never attempted to define himself according to the categories others created. Neither do the filmmakers attempt to do so. It’s left to the viewer to decide if Trungpa was insane or saintly.

Documentaries about spiritual masters aren’t usually my thing. They tend to be dry, boring and exceedingly reverent. But Crazy Wisdom isn’t your run of the mill fluff piece put together by people who want to show you why their guru is better than yours. It’s a serious film, but it has some truly laugh out loud moments. The cast is a who’s who of luminaries associated with Eastern spirituality in the West including Allan Ginsberg, Ram Dass, Stephen Batchelor, and Trungpa’s student Pema Chodron.

My only complaint is that the filmmakers chose to ignore the darker side of Trungpa’s legacy, his followers who understood their teacher’s crazy wisdom as a license to do anything at all regardless of the potential consequences. In particular I’m thinking of the story of Osel Tendzin. Tendzin was Trungpa’s successor who liked to suck and fuck just as much as his teacher. The problem was that when Tendzin was diagnosed with HIV he continued having unprotected sex without informing his partners of his condition. Stephen Butterfield, a former student, said (though this is not in the film), “In response to close questioning by students, he first swore us to secrecy and then said that Trungpa had requested him to be tested for HIV in the early 1980s and told him to keep quiet about the positive result. Tendzin had asked Trungpa what he should do if students wanted to have sex with him, and Trungpa's reply was that as long as he did his Vajrayana purification practices, it did not matter, because they would not get the disease. Tendzin's answer, in short, was that he had obeyed the guru.” Trungpa was wrong.

I’ll grant you that even addressing this subject at all may have pulled the film in a whole different direction. It’s a movie about Trungpa, not Tendzin. Still, to completely ignore this very significant effect of Trungpa’s teaching style seems a little like keeping something hidden. And Trungpa never hid anything.

In spite of this shortcoming I still highly recommend the film. It isn’t the kind of snore fest these sorts of documentaries usually are. In fact it’s highly engaging and entertaining as well as informative. It presents a (mostly) honest portrait of a Buddhist master who doesn’t fit the stereotypical mold.

***

Brad is on tour right now and may be in your area. To see where Brad will be speaking next take a look here.

Brad Warner is the author of Sex, Sin and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between as well as Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up! and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff that you can click here to see.

You can also buy T-shirts and hoodies based on his books, and the new CD by his band Zero Defex now!

***

Related Posts:
Brad Warner's Hardcore Zen: Juggling
Brad Warner's Hardcore Zen: Secure Your Mask Before Helping Others
Brad Warner's Hardcore Zen: Uninvited To The Buddhist Party
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: Win A Date With Brad Warner!!!
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: The End of the World As We Know It
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: Meditation, Depression and the Sense of Self
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: How To Make A Zen Monster
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: Living Simply
Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: I Resent My High School

by Darrah de jour



All over the United States, a band of activists has sprung up to take the law into their own gloved hands. “Real life Superheroes” are anywhere from 18 to 62 years old, run the gamut of ethnicities, backgrounds, and gender expressions, and have no real training in fighting crime. However, captured in the Michael Barnett documentary Superheroes, they appear to be part of a movement that’s taking flight.

“The film touches on a zeitgeist-y moment. I think we’re in a very troubled time right now as a society,” Director Barnett tells me over a whisky on the rocks in the dimly lit Santa Monica bar, The Yard. “#OccupyWallStreet is a very power to the people movement. People are fed up and they feel like they don’t have control and they don’t have a voice. And they’re trying to create one. This movement is so on par with that. Though a little more eccentric, it is a protest,” he asserts. “It’s saying ‘I don’t think government is efficient, I don’t think they’re helping us. I don’t think that help is coming from the top down.’”

The perky waitress seems thrilled to interrupt us to refill empty glasses and eavesdrop. The subject of our banter, which careens into after dark street patrolling and hand-made weaponry, is no secret however. In fact, there are a plethora of online forums (such as RealLifeSuperheroes.org) where you and I can engage with these Stan Lee-esque vigilantes, and now, they are under a worldwide spotlight.

Having just returned from a London screening, Barnett, a commercial director who self-funded the film, reluctantly reveals that Superheroes has won multiple awards. Accolades include The Audience Award at Calgary Underground Film Festival and The Grand Jury Award at the Los Angeles United Film Festival, among others. Shot over 15 months, this lauded and still slyly hip documentary shines a well-balanced light on a growing phenomenon, which is spearheaded by people who are self-sacrificing but not martyrs, unassuming but politically-conscious, proactive but not reward seeking.

During the day, RLSH are security guards, teachers, tattoo artists, and stay-at-home dads. But, at night, not unlike Clark Kent’s famous transition into Superman, these young men and women transform into “Dark Guardian,” “Amazonia,” “Mr. Xtreme,” “Zimmer,” and “T.S.A.F” – which stands for The Silenced And Forgotten, and belongs to one of the three female Superheroes represented in the doc.

Their real identities remain under wraps, as do their faces. Wearing sunglasses, baseball caps, head scarves and then, of course, their masks (with the exception of Zimmer, an out gay New Yorker for whom a mask would be too much like crawling back into the closet) none of the crime fighters reveal their true selves. Who they are during bank hours is less important – sometimes even to them – than who they are after dark.

***

In 1964, a 28-year-old Catherine “Kitty” Genovese was stabbed multiple times in the New York neighborhood of Queens, and left to die. She was brutally assaulted – physically and sexually – and left to bleed out. Another shocking aspect of this violent crime is that a number of neighbors saw or heard the attack in progress – and did nothing. Rather, they chose to turn out their lights and draw down their curtains. Allegedly, one neighbor even turned up his radio to drown out her screams. They simply “didn’t want to get involved,” one witness said. Kitty’s death made international headlines. In our own backyard, our most defeatist trait was killing women. Apathy.

The memory of Genovese’s death, and what is now termed “the bystander effect,” served as a call to arms for Mr. Xtreme, a San Diego superhero and a central figure in the film. He told me, “Genovese is an icon. There’s a lot of Kitty Genovese’s out there, and whether male or female, young or old, I see this happening all the time. It gets us fired up and outraged.” A mentor for youth and would-be Superheroeshe explains, “We want to show young people an alternative to gangs, drugs and the criminal life. Saving a life is the most rewarding part of being a real life superhero. And inspiring people.”

The 35-year-old activist and founder of The Xtreme Justice League, who has a working relationship with police, was recently recognized as a key tool in the capture of the Chula Vista Groper – a man who for five years groped and possibly sexually assaulted women in the area. San Diego Deputy Mayor Rudy Ramirez commended Mr. Xtreme’s help in spreading public awareness. Ramirez said, “The work that Mr. Xtreme has done with posting the fliers certainly contributed to…the capture of the Chula Vista Groper.”

While some dismiss these Superheroes as just outfitted danger seekers, the truth is, many are soldiers for the homeless population in their neighborhood. “Zeta Kits” – Ziplock bags filled with twenty-dollars worth of ‘must-haves’ like deodorant, socks, toilet paper and lip balm, are purchased out of pocket, and passed out by Portland power couple Zetaman and Apocalypse Meow. Irony beware, during Comic-Con, while caped wannabe’s paraded their latest and greatest, winning awards and recognition, the humble RLSH population banded together on the streets in shady intersections, helping the down and out improve their luck.

Filmmaker Barnett and I continued our tete`-a-tete´ well past the first drink, adventuring about the technical and philosophical facets to life as a superhero. Listen in.

Darrah de jour: Let’s start with a technical question. What type of camera did you use?

Michael Barnett: Canon 5D mark II.

Ddj: Do you think that your film has resulted in an upsurge of real life Superheroes?

MB: Definitely. Mr. Xtreme of the Xtreme Justice League in the beginning of our film was an army of one. Now, I think there’s fifteen in his unit in San Diego and they’ve opened a branch in Oregon.

Ddj: Are there any international Superheroes?

MB: There are a ton of international Superheroes. They’re all over.

Ddj: I noticed that a lot of Superheroes in the film had a traumatic upbringing or events that turned them into crime fighters as opposed to being criminals themselves. What are your thoughts on that?

MB: I think it’s an astute observation. I don’t often make generalizations about this community because each person does it for their own reasons and they do it in their own way. But the one thing I really did discover is that by and large – not every one of them – but a large percentage, had some tragedy or trauma happen to them and it’s now manifesting itself as a need to do good for others.

Ddj: One of the Superheroes mentioned that he traded in alcohol for fighting crime. Do you think that a lot of these guys are adrenaline junkies?

MB: Some of them are adrenaline junkies, some of them abide by the law, some of them are fearful in their approach. Some of them really are in it to have a physical encounter with other people.

Ddj: Stan Lee is in the film, and he mentions that none of them have actual superhero powers and that they are putting themselves in danger. What do you think is the greatest danger they are encountering at night on patrols?

MB: These guys patrol in terrible neighborhoods. And America is hurting right now. It’s a tough time for this country. There are very dangerous places all over this country, in every city, and these guys go right to the epicenter of the worst parts of their communities. So it’s not the safest job in the world.

Ddj: Is there any level of in-fighting or politics in the group?

MB: There is. These guys do this because they’re really fed up. They’re fed up with bureaucracy and society status quo and they’re looking for a way to make grassroots change. And in the end there’s no rulebook or manifesto, so they’re trying to make their own rules as they go and they don’t always agree with each other about what those rules should be.

Ddj: A lot of them had handmade weapons. I have a list: a flashlight that doubles as a stun gun, or a 16” baton Amazonia had, a ring of Pharaoh’s fire, bear mace and a sonic grenade. Which weapon was your favorite?

MB: My favorite weapon was Master Legend’s Iron Fist. It can do incredible amounts of damage. It could be a cautionary tale and I think it will be in the near future with one of them getting hurt in a situation.

Ddj: Dark Guardian had a very protective costume. Who do you think had the most appropriate costume for crime fighting?

MB: Master Legend had a costume like a tank, a bullet proof vest, helmet, boots.

Ddj: The animation in the film made you feel like you were watching a comic book. Who did the animation?

MB: We wanted every character to have their own very distinct look. Mr. Xtreme felt very indie comic, very Ghost World. So we hired Jeremy Arambulo. New York Initiative felt very dark and sharp, so we got the well known Rev. Dave Johnson to do that. Master Legend – the art there was so beautiful. That was Andy Suriano. Captain Sticky was very retro. So we went with an old school comic book artist, Richard Pose. They drew the panels and then we handed them to Syd Garon who brought it all to life. I think fanboys will specifically respond to this film.

Ddj: I really appreciated the fact that there were multiple ethnicities reflected as well as women who are RLSH. You introduced Stan Lee talking about a comic book where a female protagonist was running in heels and he thought that her legs looked good in heels, but that wedgies would be more realistic. Was there any subliminal feminism or commentary in why you entered with that?

MB: I just thought it was very funny. Women are drawn in comics so specifically. I had fantasized as a kid about so many women in comics. Rogue from X-Men. Stan’s 90 years old and I thought it was great that he’s still so aware. I thought it was perceptive and nostalgic. He knows his audience.

Ddj: Mr. Xtreme’s family wasn’t extremely supportive of his life choice to be a RLSH. If you were a parent, how would you feel about your child being one?

MB: It would be a mixed bag. I would do everything I could to get them trained properly.

Ddj: The New York Initiative used “baiting” as a tactic during night patrols. What are your thoughts on having a flamboyant, gay character like Zimmer played to trap a homophobe? Do you think it’s ethical?

MB: It’s hard to be present for crime. The police deter crime and solve crime after it happens. Very rarely are they there for crime. You have a team of very young, ambitious, intelligent, motivated RLSH in the NYI and they don’t want to sit around and wait for crime. They want to root out criminality in a courageous way, that’s rarely been done. It was super unsafe and terrifying to shoot. They’re risking their lives.

Ddj: If you could have any superpower what would it be?

MB: The power to stop time.

Superheroesthe movie is playing on HBO and in select theatres nationwide. It’s also available on DVD. For more info visit: www.SuperheroesTheMovie.com

***
Post-feminist sex and sensuality expert Darrah de jour is a freelance journalist who lives in LA with her dog Oscar Wilde. Her writing has appeared in Marie Claire, Esquire and W. In her Red, White and Femme: Strapped With A Brain - And A Vagina columns for SuicideGirls, Darrah will be taking a fresh look at females in America. Hear her being interviewed about female sexuality on the WingGirlMethod.com, visit her blog at Darrahdejour.com/srblog, and find her on Facebook.



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Red, White and Femme: The Girl Zone – Madonna Meet Whore Part 1
Red, White and Femme: When Mean Girls Grow Up
Red, White and Femme: Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Polyamory, Part II
Red, White and Femme: Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Polyamory Part I – With Annie Sprinkle
Red, White and Femme: America is FUGLY
Red, White and Femme: Trusting The Ring of Purity - Faith vs Sex Education
Red, White and Femme Fearless Femme Spotlight: Mia Tyler

by Jensen

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.


[Jensen Suicide in Irish Car Bomb]

This week, Jensen Suicide gives us the skinny on her healthy relationship with SG's Online Dating Group.

Members: 924 / Comments: 4,938

• WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I’ve been doing the online dating thing for the latter part of this year, and it’s cool to chat about it with fellow SG internerds!




• DISCUSSION TIP: Don’t whine about never getting messages [unless you’re looking for profile help].


• BEST RANDOM QUOTE: 
: “hi since you’re horny will you have sex with me? We can get to know each other after!” And basically anything else in the “I fought the LOL and the LOL won” thread.




• MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: Things You Hate in Profiles.


• WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Everyone!

***
Related Posts:

SuicideGirls Group Therapy: Gallows on Pen Pals
SuicideGirls Group Therapy - Satya on Hip-Hop
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Tovi on Veggie


SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Aadie on Suicide Boys
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Haydin on Ballet
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Psyche on Slut Pride
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Thistle on Yuppie Scum
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Eden on Tattoo
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Damsel on Dreadlocks


SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Chrysis on Itty Bitty Titty Committee


SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Otoki on Feminists
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Zephyr on Doctor Who
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Ryker on Harry Potter
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Bradley on The Kitchen
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Apple on All Your Base Are Belong To Us
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Setsuka on Ass Appreciation
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Noir on The Kitchen
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Exning on Body Mods
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Ceres on Girls Only
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Frolic on Celeb Worship
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Cheri on Skateboarders
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Noir on SG Military
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Exning on Weight Loss
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Aadie on Cute Overload
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Eevie, Luffy, and Praesepe on SG420
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - All on Urban Art
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Clio on Hardcore Music
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Epiic on Hirsute
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Tarion on Atheists
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Rambo on Photography
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Thistle on Vamos Gigantes

by Gallows

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.


[Gallows Suicide in Scrabble]

This week, Gallows Suicide writes in about SG's Pen Pals Group.

Members: 187 / Comments: 9,603

• WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: It’s amazing getting mail that isn’t bills, but even better getting letters from all over the world. Then having the people you write to become really great friends. I’ve met so many amazing people and made such great friends because of pen pals. I’ve become addicted to stationary and wax seals. I have so many awesome postcards, pictures, cards and items from all over the globe. It’s simply amazing! And even if I don’t have the time to write back super fast, my pen pals wait patiently.




• DISCUSSION TIP: Just get in there, start writing letters to addresses, and wait for replies. Most people in the group will send you welcome letters and help get you started, there’s even a thread to help you out if you are nervous about writing new friends. My tip is to just jump in and enjoy it!


• BEST RANDOM QUOTE: 
"I wish there were stamps with tits on them. *sigh*"




• MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: We don’t have a heated discussion thread. All of our heated conversations happen on paper and through the mail. Another great thing about Pen Pals is everyone is SUPER friendly!!!


• WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: You must be a member for at least 3 months, have a profile picture and some blog and comment posts! If you have all that then come and join!

***
Related Posts:

SuicideGirls Group Therapy - Satya on Hip-Hop
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Tovi on Veggie


SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Aadie on Suicide Boys
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Haydin on Ballet
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Psyche on Slut Pride
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Thistle on Yuppie Scum
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Eden on Tattoo
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Damsel on Dreadlocks


SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Chrysis on Itty Bitty Titty Committee


SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Otoki on Feminists
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Zephyr on Doctor Who
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Ryker on Harry Potter
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Bradley on The Kitchen
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Apple on All Your Base Are Belong To Us
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Setsuka on Ass Appreciation
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Noir on The Kitchen
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Exning on Body Mods
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Ceres on Girls Only
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Frolic on Celeb Worship
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Cheri on Skateboarders
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Noir on SG Military
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Exning on Weight Loss
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Aadie on Cute Overload
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Eevie, Luffy, and Praesepe on SG420
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - All on Urban Art
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Clio on Hardcore Music
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Epiic on Hirsute
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Tarion on Atheists
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Rambo on Photography
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Thistle on Vamos Gigantes

by Blogbot

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.


[Thistle in Taking Dictation]

This week, Thistle Suicide explores the finer points of Yuppie Scum, a group strictly for discerning individuals.

Members: 99 / Comments: 3,998

• WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: This group understands me and my love of fine wine, artisan cheese, and crisply tailored slacks.






• DISCUSSION TIP: Class warfare is strictly forbidden.


• BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “No wood says ‘I’ve arrived’ like cedar does, man.”








• MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: "Yuppie or not yuppie? You report, we decide."
 Billed as “the definitive thread for arguing over whether or not something fits with the general aesthetic” it aims to pass “yuppie or no” judgment on key topics such as Christmas decorations (depends if you put them up yourself or hire a service), poetry readings (readings = yes / slams = no), and living in a shipping container (no, unless it looks like this and this).





• WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Anyone with a 401k, a favorite Starbucks drink, and ambition. MBAs and JDs especially welcome.

***
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by Brad Warner

A few people have responded to my blog by comparing me to this or that teacher and saying those guys are much better because they encourage their followers to help others. One reader advised me to get over myself and, “learn to live for others.” It’s good advice, to be sure. But what exactly does it mean?

One of the complaints often lodged against Zen is that it’s a selfish philosophy and practice. Spiritual teachers of other schools are always talking about how we should give to others, help those in need, lend a hand to our brothers and so on. But when you take a look at Zen literature there’s not a whole lot of that. Oh, Dogen Zenji talks a bit about compassion and sometimes you hear the Metta Sutra, the Buddha’s words on kindness, chanted at Zen temples in America. Although elsewhere in the world this chant is more associated with the Theravada school than with Zen.

Zen, on the other hand, tends to seem self-centered. Rather that hearing a lot about how we should be of service to others, the standard canonical texts of Zen appear to focus on what we need to do to improve our own situation and state of mind. They do sometimes make reference to helping others and saving all beings. But these references are almost always a bit abstract. They say we need to help others, but don’t go very deeply into how that might be done. This focus on the self is ironic considering that Zen is often portrayed as a practice aimed at eradicating the self.

But have you ever glanced up randomly when you’re on an airplane ignoring the flight attendants safety instructions? When they tell you how to use those oxygen masks they say that you should first secure your own mask before helping others. There’s a good reason for this. If the plane is losing oxygen you’re going to be too woozy to be of service to anyone else until you first get your own stuff together. This is the way it is in life as well.



It sounds really sweet when someone tells you that you ought to be selflessly serving those less fortunate than you. It’s a beautiful and highly attractive idea. There’s no better way to make yourself seem really holy than to advocate selflessness. Religious leaders have known for centuries that the best way to cultivate a devoted following who’ll gratefully fill up the collection plate is to spread the word that a truly holy person gives to others until it hurts.

It’s always comforting to be told that the source of the world's troubles is out there, in other people, in our surroundings and circumstances and not in ourselves. Much of what passes for religion these days takes as its underlying unstated assumption and starting point that we ourselves are OK. It’s those other people that need fixing, not us. It’s painful when that assumption is challenged. I understand that because it was painful to me when I first came across the supposedly selfish aspects of Zen.

The underlying problem is the same as the problem with the emergency oxygen masks on airplanes. In our usual condition we are far too woozy to be of much service to anyone else. When our own condition is all messed up our attempts to be helpful are more likely to make things worse than to improve them.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t do anything when we see someone is in trouble. We always have to act from the state we’re in at this moment. It’s our duty to do what we can with what we have.

One of the greatest and most useful lessons I’ve learned from Zen practice is how not to help. Zen teachers are often seen as cold. Lots of times in this practice when you go to your teacher in times of distress, instead of being met with warm hugs and reassuring words you’re given the cold shoulder. You're told to take care of the problem yourself. This seems mean, heartless, even cruel.

But as Shakespeare and Nick Lowe noticed sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind (in the right measure). The best way to be truly helpful is often to leave things be. I used to find this all the time when I worked for Tsuburaya Productions. It was often best to allow a bad scheme to fail and then fix it. Jumping into the fray and try to fix things before they broke often was the worst idea. Because then the same thing just kept happening over and over. People learn best from their own mistakes and learn nothing when you fix things for them.

This is not always easy. We want to help. Our self-image is tied up in being a good person and a good person is a helpful person. It damages our ego when we have to let things be instead of jumping in to fix them. Sometimes the hardest thing you can do is to not be helpful. People resent it. They label you as a bad person. Because they don’t want to have to deal with their own shit, they want someone else to deal with it for them. They want Superman to rush in and save the day after they’ve messed things up.

On the other hand it’s important to be of service, to “learn to live for others.” We are not independent objects. We are part of an intimately connected network of sentient and non-sentient beings that stretches all the way to the end of the universe. We never really live just for ourselves, even when we try to do so. To try and live for yourself just causes pain. Not just to others, but to ourselves as well.

The problem is not whether we should live for others or not. The problem is how we should live for others. If our efforts to help end up doing more harm than good, then we aren’t truly living for others any more than the most selfish cad among us lives for himself. We’re just feeding our own egos, establishing a clearer and more fixed self image as a good person.

It’s important to discover how to truly help. And sometimes that means not helping.

***

Brad is on tour right now and may be in your area. To see where Brad will be speaking next take a look here.

Brad Warner is the author of Sex, Sin and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between as well as Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up! and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff that you can click here to see.

You can also buy T-shirts and hoodies based on his books, and the new CD by his band Zero Defex now!

***

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Brad Warner’s Hardcore Zen: How To Make A Zen Monster
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by Damon Martin

Republican Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann doesn’t like porn, abortion, or promiscuity. She hates it so much, she's signed a pledge to prove it! The essence of the pledge is that the candidates who sign it must commit to upholding the oaths contained within should they make it to office, which means Bachmann is now 100% committed to ending both abortion and pornography (it'll be interesting to see how she'll legislate against promiscuity - will sex before marriage become a custodial offense?).


On Friday, Bachmann put her signature on 'The Marriage Vow - A Declaration of Dependence upon Marriage and Family' a two-page document authored by Iowa pastor Bob Vander Plaats.

Vander Plaats is actually trying to get all presidential candidates to sign his wacky pledge, which calls for a ban on pornography, and contains verbiage condemning gay marriage, while also suggesting that the African American family unit was better off during slavery.



Yes, you read that correctly. Here is the bullet point from the pledge that points to the success of the 'nuclear family' with mom and dad both present, which more African Americans had during slavery.

Nothing says love and compassion like comparing the family unit of today – which encompasses millions of strong, viable single parent-led households – to the rosy family unit of yesteryear in the good ol’ days of slavery.

Back to the pornography portion of the manifesto that Bachmann signed up for. It reads like an archaic text (not that unlike the Bible) with regards to how sexuality should be treated under conservative law.

Stolen innocence? It's almost like Vander Plaats was reading directly from Bristol Palin's new book Not Afraid of Life. And the fact that “pornography” and “infanticide” sit together in the same sentence, without and level of distinction between the two, would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic (or maybe it’s the other way around). It also begs the question, what kind of porn have Plaats and Bachmann been watching?

One of the funniest parts of the pledge reads:

Let's just dissect that one for a moment.

The pledge wants the candidate to stand up in 'fierce defense' of the First Amendment with regards to free speech, yet virtually every case that has come in front of the Supreme Court regarding the curtailment of pornography has been overruled precisely because of our inalienable right to free speech.

The First Amendment protects everyone's rights to free speech and expression of ideas, whether they are popular or unpopular. It protects the religious right that wants to speak out against abortion and gay marriage the same way it protects the producers and distributors of pornography. The First Amendment doesn't discriminate, unlike the pledge that Bachmann just signed.

And just to throw out the point about the adherence and defense of 'faithful heterosexual monogamy,' I guess there's a reason fellow Republican candidate Newt Gingrich won't be signing Plaats' presidential promise.

By aligning herself with the pledge, Bachmann has once again stepped so far to the right that she's almost guaranteeing herself a Donald Trump like exit from the actual presidential race -- but, hey, it's amusing to watch it unfold.

As Bill Maher once said so eloquently about the candidate from Minnesota:

by Darrah de jour

For Part Two of my Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Polyamory series (see Part I with Annie Sprinkle here), I spoke with Tristan Taormino, author of Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships. In addition to being the princess of polyamory, Double T is also one of the most coveted safe and kinky sex educators around. She travels all over the nation to spread her sex positive message, and is a huge catalyst in the pleasurable-anal-sex-for-women movement. Yes, there's a movement. (Responsible for bringing the back door to your backyard.) This feminist and erotic guru is not only outspoken, but makes talking about sex almost as fun as doing it! So much so, that she is now directing sex ed vids for Vivid Enterainment!

Grab a beverage, your lover or vibrator and buckle up for this one. It's going to be a mind-blowing ride.



Darrah de jour: You wrote for The Village Voice for 10 years, erected The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women book and empire, and you've edited a ton of Best Lesbian Erotica anthologies. Is there anything you're still curious to try?

Tristan Taormino: Well, if you mean sexually, I believe I have probably done nearly all I've ever wanted to. I mean, in my fifteen years working in the world of sex, I have tried a lot of different things, and I've been on some amazing erotic adventures. I'm not sure there is anything left for me to try, but that doesn't mean I'm not still excited about the work I do. I am still passionate about and inspired by my job.

Ddj: When did your love of anal sex spring up?

TT: I had anal sex for the first time in college with my girlfriend at the time. From the very first time we did it, I was in love. It started with just one finger - which is how it should start for everyone!

Ddj: How soon did you tell your partners you dug it up the butt?

TT: I like to give people as much information as I can as soon as I have it. I'm just a very direct person.

Ddj: In your book Opening Up you make it seem very feasible that couples can have open relationships, while retaining their integrity. Now that you are married (and congrats, btw), do you still plan to flex your polyamorous muscle? If so, what is the number one tool you and your partner use to keep your relationship strong?

TT: My partner and I celebrated ten years together this year; throughout our relationship we have practiced various styles of non-monogamy. Being married doesn't change our fundamental commitment to allowing each other the freedom to explore things with other people. Communication and honesty are fundamental for making it work.

Ddj: What is your favorite part about sex with a man? With a woman?

TT: For me, it's really not about someone's gender or genitals, it's all about the connection and chemistry. I can work with any kind of equipment.

Ddj: What are the high points and pitfalls of polyamory? Can someone go from polyamory to monogamy and vice-versa?

TT: Many of the people I interviewed for my book Opening Up began as monogamous and transitioned to non-monogamy at some point. You can absolutely shift from one to the other (either way) as long as you do it with self-awareness, intention, and communication. The pros of open relationships are honesty, freedom, and the opportunity to fulfill multiple desires and needs. The cons: more people equals more work. If you don't like to talk about your own feelings or the feelings of other people, you probably should not be in an open relationship.

Ddj: Do you think all sex workers are polyamorous by nature or by default?

TT: Not at all. My book began as a 600+ page manuscript, and one of the chapters that had to be cut was devoted entirely to sex workers and non-monogamy. Some sex workers have one partner and consider themselves monogamous because they think of the other stuff they do as work. Others identify as non-monogamous, but what that means to each person is different.

Ddj: What are your top 5 tips for sustaining a poly relationship?

TT: Communication, responsibility, honesty, negotiation, and patience.

Ddj: Is polyamory the cure for infidelity?

TT: No. People can be polyamorous and still cheat, ie. be dishonest or do something they've agreed not to.

Ddj: After reading your blog on OpeningUp.net, where you reposted Cunning Minx's take on Charlie Sheen's potential (though irresponsible) polyamory, I wonder, do you think men are polyamorous by nature, given that their instinct is to sleep with as many women as possible and spread their seed? And do you think married men that cheat are actually poly and either don't know it or don't have the means or proper terms to execute it correctly?

TT: I don't think being monogamous or non-monogamous breaks down so clearly along gender lines. And polyamory is not about sleeping with as many women as possible, it's about having multiple erotic, intimate, significant relationships at the same time. Monogamy can be a viable option for those who choose it consciously and work at it; unfortunately, most people end up monogamous by default, based on what they think they're supposed to do. I wish people could realistically assess their wants, needs, desires, and personalities and choose a relationship style -whether some form of monogamy or consensual non-monogamy - based on self-awareness, honesty, and responsibility. We'd all be much better off if people knew about their options, rather than trying to conform to an unrealistic standard (monogamy), and failing pretty miserably.



Ddj: Can you give us a detailed run-down of what a Tristan Taormino workshops entails?

TT: I would say most of my workshops are in classroom settings and are lecture style or a facilitated discussion. A small percentage of the classes I teach actually include a hands-on demonstration. For the hands-on demos, I arrange a demo bottom in advance [which] is someone who I have already contacted and discussed letting me demonstrate specific techniques on them. So someone will come up to the front of the room, get naked, bend over and I will demonstrate techniques, toys, whatever the topic calls for. In most of my workshops, which aren't hands-on, there is everything from flip charts to power point presentations to anonymous Q&As. I have this one of a kind, hand-made pussy puppet, where I show people the anatomy of pussy and different stimulation techniques. I have had it for a number of years and it has traveled all over the country with me. What I really try to do is give people information and tips as well as de-mystify myths and misinformation. Although sex is almost everywhere in our culture, there are still too many myths about how our bodies work, what is or isn't "normal," and what counts or doesn't count as "sex."

Ddj: Speaking of bending over, you hear from a lot of women (and I've experienced this myself) that anal sex can be painful. Why is this? And what can we do to make it more enjoyable?

TT: Anal sex should not hurt - not even a little. If it hurts, you're doing something wrong. Pain is your body's way of saying, "This is not working for me right now," and we must listen to your bodies. If you ignore your body's warning and continue, then you can hurt yourself. You don't have to "work through the pain" to get to the pleasure. The most common mistake people make - and the number one reason that the receptive partner ends up in pain - is that they rush penetration. With desire, relaxation, communication, and lots of lubrication, anal sex can be not only pain-free but arousing and orgasmic.

Ddj: True. Do you know why the orgasms are so mind-blowing?

TT: Anal sex is enjoyable because of the rich body of nerve endings in the anus. [In addition] during anal penetration, especially in certain positions, many women can experience indirect G-spot stimulation.

Ddj: As you mentioned, there are many myths floating around when it comes to anal sex. Anything from adult diapers to your organs falling out. Can you clear up some of the misinformation?

TT: When done properly, frequent penetration will not lead to a gaping asshole, loose sphincter muscles, or a loss of control over bowel movements. During anal penetration, you're not stretching or tearing the sphincter muscles; you are relaxing them to allow for comfortable penetration. With regular anal sex, you can get in touch with your sphincter and you may find that you actually have better bowel control than you did before.

Ddj: When trying anal sex for the first time, what would you advise couples stick on their shopping list - a bottle of lube or a bottle of Grey Goose?

TT: Lube, lube, lube absolutely! And skip the Grey Goose.

Ddj: You direct instructional videos and reality porn for Vivid Entertainment, with a unique feminist POV. What do you hope will change for individuals and couples by viewing your porn, as opposed to the gonzo, rough stuff you might see on Porn Hub?

TT: I want to educate viewers by showing them how to use lube, warm up (rather than trying to go from 0 to 60 in 1 minute), use sex toys, practice different techniques, and communicate with each other during sex. My sex ed movies show explicit, specific techniques for cunnilingus, fellatio, G-spot stimulation, anal sex, hand jobs, bondage, and lots more. I think it's important to get right in there and show people how it's done. It has a very different vibe from mainstream porn because it's meant to be a teaching tool. Although, I know plenty of folks who also get off on it! And since you bring it up, these porn hub/tube sites are absolutely awful. Much of what is on them is pirated content used without permission. These torrent and tube sites are what is ruining the industry. If you want to support your favorite pornographer, then BUY their DVD or PAY to stream it or download it. If people continue to watch "free" porn, eventually no one will be able to make porn anymore.

Ddj: You directed Sasha Grey in the groundbreaking documentary/vignette hybrid Rough Sex and also did panels with her. What do you think made her stand out as a performer, and also, be able to make the transition into mainstream roles?

TT: The scene I shot with Sasha Grey and Danny Wylde is one of the best I've shot in my career. First, it was a switch scene, where Sasha and Danny go back and forth between being dominant and submissive. It's very rare to see in porn. Everything is so fetishized and rigid that you're supposed to pick one role or the other and stick with it (and more often than not, women are submissive and men are dominant). So it's very unique. Sasha came up with the idea after we talked and she told me that she's a switch in real life and loves to explore both roles, but isn't given the opportunity on camera. Although Danny rarely subs on camera anymore, he used to on Kink.com and he's really willing to push his boundaries and do things other male performers just won't do on camera. I really admire him for it, because I'm sure he gets some shit about it. Everything in the scene happened very organically and we shot it in one take. They had fantastic chemistry and seriously forgot about the cameras. I think Sasha has been able to crossover because she's smart, ambitious, and knows what she wants.

Ddj: You once said in an interview, "As a director, my relationship with a performer is the most important thing. I want the performers to be comfortable and to forget about the camera. I want them to go places they may not have gone before. I want them to reveal personal things. I have to create this environment that they feel safe to do that." This is a huge revelation in an industry that tends to undervalue the opinions and likes or dislikes of its performers -- especially its female ones. You go so far as to interview your stars before taping them (and when I say interview, I don't mean having them dole out a fake age). Do you feel that this type of attitude will create a ripple effect where other directors mirror your on-set respect for performers? If not, what are you going to do when you are the only director left that female stars want to work with?!

TT: Let me first say that there are directors other than me that value their performers and treat them well. I just wish that attitude was universal. The interviews, which are part of all of my movie s- my reality series Chemistry, the vignette series Rough Sex, and my sex ed movies - are a crucial part of my mission and vision. I want performers to have the chance to speak for themselves and share their personalities, opinions, experiences, and wisdom. I want to give viewers an opportunity to get to know them, hear their stories, and get a sense of who they are before they fuck. I think it just makes the sex way more interesting. In the past few years, I've seen more porn directors incorporate interviews into their films more prominently, and I hope the trend continues.

Ddj: What is your relationship with 'ecosexuality' and what does the term 'ecosexual' mean to you?

TT: One piece of ecosexuality is to connect our politics around the environment and our politics around sexuality. For example, there is a movement among some sex product manufacturers to create non-toxic, eco-friendly, sustainable, and organic lubes and toys. I think Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens are at the forefront of the ecosexual movement; they were the first ones to talk about uniting love, sex, and the Earth.

Ddj: What are your goals in the sex industry?

TT: I want to bring my feminist perspective to the sex industry and create a different kind of porn; porn that empowers both the people who make it and those who watch it. I want to challenge many of the dominant ideas and images of mainstream pornography and make films that diversify the representation of women's and men's sexuality, pleasure, fantasy, and orgasm. I want to change the way porn is made and how people perceive it.

Ddj: You work in a largely male-dominated industry. What challenges have you overcome both as a feminist pornographer and as a sex educator in a puritanical America?

TT: As a feminist, I am definitely a minority in the mainstream adult industry, but there are more of us every day. I feel like the feminist porn movement is really gaining momentum and having positive effects on traditional porn. I've been a target for right-wing conservatives and anti-porn feminists, and they continue to talk smack about me. I take it as a compliment that they get so worked up about the work I do; I'm clearly pushing their buttons, so I must be doing something right.

Ddj: How do you stay healthy - body, mind, and spirit?

TT: I study Buddhism and practice meditation, which both help me tremendously. I've been in therapy for most of my adult life. I try hard to balance my life, although I admit I tend to work more than I play. I absolutely love my dogs, they keep me grounded and happy. I need to eat three meals a day and sleep at least 8 hours each night or I'm just a mess.

Ddj: Who are your (s)heroes?

TT: I do have role models, women like Betty Dodson, Nina Hartley, Carol Queen, Candida Royale, Veronica Hart, Annie Sprinkle and others who paved the way for what I and others do today. I look to them when I need advice or support.

Ddj: After the recent hoopla surrounding your appearance at Oregon State University, do you have any regrets about your affiliation with the porn industry?

TT: I am proud of the work I do and the porn I make. I refuse to be shamed for my involvement with pornography, which is what was going on with the Oregon State University scandal.

Ddj: What projects are you working on now?

TT: This summer I'm launching TristanTaormino.com, a new "safe for work" website for folks who can't visit my site Puckerup.com sometimes because it's filtered or blocked. My latest sex education movie for Vivid will be out in July. It's called The Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex. I recently directed some educational webisodes for SmittenKittenOnline.com that should debut in August. I have two new books coming out in October: my latest sex education book, The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation from Quiver Books and Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, an anthology I edited for Cleis Press. I'm at work on three other books: an anthology, a sex ed book, and a book of essays. I have a bunch of other projects in development, but they have to remain secret for now!



*Some content reprinted with permission from Babeland.com and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 2nd Edition.

Related Posts:
Red, White and Femme: Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Polyamory Part I – With Annie Sprinkle
Red, White and Femme: America is FUGLY
Red, White and Femme: Trusting The Ring of Purity - Faith vs Sex Education
Red, White and Femme Fearless Femme Spotlight: Mia Tyler

***

Darrah de jour is a freelance journalist who lives in LA with her dog Oscar Wilde. Her writing has appeared in Marie Claire, Esquire and W. In her Red, White and Femme: Strapped With A Brain - And A Vagina columns for SuicideGirls, Darrah will be taking a fresh look at females in America. Visit her blog at Darrahdejour.com/srblog and find her on Facebook.

Need another helping of Double T? Follow her on Twitter and friend her on Facebook.

by Shotgun Suicide



Suicide Girls send love and thanks to their dads.

Happy Father's Day

XOX

Original Music: by Shotgun's Awesome Dad!

Related Posts:
Happy Mothers’ Day From SuicideGirls

by Laurelin

Dating. I think we all know by now that I suck at it. I’m a tough girl to win over, and the odds of me scaring someone off by date three are pretty damn good despite the initial attraction. I’m going to be honest, I have been sampling what Boston has to offer lately and am having a damn good time with it -- it’s summertime, what do you want from me? I’ve realized that keeping an open mind when it comes to guys has meant I have met a lot of cool people who I normally wouldn’t have gone for… I have also met a lot of idiots.

Guys, good lord, I know sometimes girls turn out to be a bit bonkers; especially girls like me who habitually come home a little drunk around 4 AM with a rip in their jeans and a half eaten cheeseburger in their purse. But I figure I may as well tell it like it is; it doesn’t matter how hot you are, it is totally possible to lose even the most captivated girl in ten minutes. Listen up guys. Help me help you, take heed of these simple rules, and then maybe we can all go get a margarita.



1. Watch your language. Don’t use the n-word on our first date -- or ever for crying out loud! I don’t care how hot you are, how big your muscles are, or how lucky I thought I was to be with literally the hottest guy I have ever seen in my whole life -- the second you start telling me a story and dropping racist terminology, I am gone. It’s a damn shame and a colossal waste of my time. Men, lock up those lips and grow a brain. Ignorance doesn’t look good on anyone.

2. When we go out, God help you if you don’t know how to tip. I honestly don’t remember the last time I dated someone who wasn’t a bartender, waiter, barback or bouncer (that’s a problem in and of itself), but it’s happened to a few friends of mine. I would rather not have to duck back in and leave another twenty on the table because you’re trying to save a few bucks. I’m staying home next time, and you’re a jerk.

3. There comes a time when it’s time to put out. Trust me, no one is coming back to my apartment right away, but I don’t want to be surprised a few months in and find that you have a mangina. Nothing good can come from that. It either ends in us still talking while I see other people, us becoming buddies, or me purposely dropping my cell phone in the toilet and forgetting you exist. I also don’t want to hear about your ex-girlfriends, talk about your feelings, how many kids you want and what you want to name them, or other mangina-y things. Grow. A. Pair.

4. If we wind up doing it, we are probably/maybe dating and we really/moderately like one another. On a few rare occasions maybe I’m just trying to get over someone, or maybe I didn’t want you to drive home drunk and let you stay over and I took my Ambien too soon. But either way, the first time having sex with someone is always a big deal. I’m not a prude by any means, but sweet baby Jesus, I swear I will never talk to you again if you refer to me as “Mama” or refer to yourself as “Daddy.” And the baby talk… I have never been more freaked out in my life. No, I don’t “likey.” I was “likey-ing” until you started talking like a three year old. Game. Over.

5. If you pee on my stuff after drinking, you are a tool. We have all been there, drunk as a skunk and in some strange bed. However. Why am I waking up to you peeing on my futon, my desktop computer, or my bookshelf? Is this what I have to look forward to the next time you come over? I watched a guy pee in his room once and actually felt terrible so I cleaned it up and put him back to bed. The next morning I was trying to break the news gently and not embarrass him and he actually said, “Are you sure you. didn’t pee?” Good luck buddy. I’m out, you’re gross. I know this goes hand in hand with the type of men I keep going after… maybe I should start assessing how many people have actually peed in my room before I date another bartender.

I hate to be that girl and point out that the first thing I noticed about a guy is his appearance. I don’t however, make a snap judgment and decide if I like you then and there. Sometimes a sense of humor and a nice smile can overpower things like being shorter than me, bad haircuts, funny dancing, fist pumping (okay, not fist pumping, sorry) and silly T-shirt wearing. These things are not deal breakers. If you make me laugh I don’t mind bending over to kiss you, and I might laugh telling my friends about your silly T, but hey, I’m telling my friends about you.

I might not be in the mood for a relationship just now, even in my sea of badly shorn and stupidly attired bar scene men. But at least I have a few hands to squeeze and options to savor while watching the Bruins game. As for all the rest, I really did drop my cell phone in the toilet. And I’m not getting another one, ever. Please don’t ever call me again, you racist baby talking bed wetters.

Thank you.
Love, Laurelin

by Shotgun Suicide

The Suicide Girls have some pretty awesomely amazing and wonderfully fabulous moms - a few of them are in this video.



A tribute to mothers, with love from all at SuicideGirls.

XOX

Music: "Ideal Cosmos" by Tokyo Pinsalocks courtesy of Conspiracymfx.com

by Laurelin

Heartbreak. It happens to everyone, and people deal with it in different ways. I remember the first time I ever felt it, the impossible sadness and emptiness that just washes over your body in a wave when someone decides they don't want you anymore. I was in high school, having dinner with my family and the phone rang. He always called around that time. We talked for hours every night. That night was different.

"You didn't see this coming?" He asked. "L, school's over. I want to be free for the summer." I hung up the phone, wanting to scream and cry, throw the phone through the window...but I stayed silent. I swallowed it all, and in that moment I decided that that's how I would get by. I walked calmly back to the dinner table, smiled and carried on. My parents never even knew anything was wrong. Inside, I was crushed and angry, outside, I was calm, cool and collected.

I didn't date anyone else for two years, but eventually high school ended and college was a new start. I met someone, and it was a fairy tale. I still consider myself lucky to have known anything like that. It ended well enough, looking back, but it took me another solid two years to get passed that one as well. After we agreed to call it quits I just wanted to give up. It couldn't be over, but it was, and it was next to impossible to move on. But, after college, just as before, I did move on. The next guy and I dated on and off for a few years as well. He was different then the rest. He was a bit controlling, but I was all too ready to accept the roll of housewife after spending the last few years drinking my face off in dark bars. I didn't go out, just came home after work, crawled into bed, and loved him with everything I had. My friends didn't trust him; I thought they were crazy.



And then one day he was just....Gone. We had fought that day, and I came home from work and all of his things were gone. There was no trace of him, no phone, no email, no contact. It was the cruelest thing that has ever been done to me to this day. That boy broke something in me, something worse than the rest. I had changed my life for him, and he just left. It was as though he had died, but he hadn't. He just chose to leave and never look back. It was the same as the others, for a year I couldn't even look at guys. I was cold, dead, game face on all the time, always on guard, always smiling. It was a lie. Every time the phone rang my heart would leap, but it was never him. I was forgettable, replaceable, and with every passing minute being driven crazy.

And then one day, one year later, my phone rang. Just when I had stopped looking for him, there he was.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I miss you. I want to come home."

One year of silence, almost to the day. He sounded exactly the same, and I crumbled and let him come home. So much changes in a year; I had become a monster. It was silly of me, thinking I could forgive him and just have things back to the way they were. I had spent that whole year angry and hurt, and all of a sudden what I thought I had wanted back seemed suffocating. He accused me of being heartless, of not caring about anything, of never talking about my feelings, and of never getting angry. He said he never knew what I was thinking, and I would never tell him. He begged me to say anything, and I remember wanting to say so much, but I didn't speak one word. How could I? He was just going to leave again. And eventually he did. He met another girl who wasn't broken, and he was happy.

I had managed to convince myself that I was better off alone. If you're alone, no one can hurt you. If you don't talk about your feelings, they don't exist. Never show weakness, never let anyone in. I got used to it, cultivated it and convinced myself that this stoic person was me.

But it's not me, and in the past few years I'm happy to say I have figured that out. I'm not sure when it happened, but one day I just...wasn't that monster anymore. I know what I want. Heartbreak is still very real, but every day that goes by it gets easier. It's been seven months now since my last boyfriend and I broke up, and not even one inch of me wishes we were still together. We are great friends and I am all the better for it. It was pretty rough in the beginning, but just knowing that time really does heal all wounds got me by. This too shall pass.

The things I have dealt with in the past have all but been erased. I'm not angry, jealous, or guarded anymore. I don't mind telling people what's on my mind, and it makes me laugh when it makes them uncomfortable. I don't have time for games after playing them for so long myself. Everyone else my age might be getting married, having kids, working a normal day job, or going to school. I don't have any of that stuff figured out, but I don't care. All I know is that when I smile at someone I mean it, and I don't have to worry about their baggage matching mine. Check that shit at the door, or better yet, toss it in the Charles. Baggage makes you who you are; you're shaped as a person by the things that happen to you, there's no doubt about that. But too much baggage gets heavy, and there is no better feeling than just...letting go.

***

Related Posts:

Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Starting Over and Other Stupid Resolutions
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: When it's Time to Move On
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: The Dating Game
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: Does it Exist?

by Darrah de jour

On Saturday night, the bold and the brightest came out (both literally and figuratively) to support the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center's Evening With Women, raising almost $500,000 for its many programs, including LGBT youth advocacy and HIV/AIDS healthcare. It coincided with the non-profit establishment's 40th anniversary, cementing it as a stronghold in the movement toward queer and women's equal rights.



Performer Cyndi Lauper, a buoyant supporter of gay rights, whose history with philanthropic causes dates back to the '80s when she sang "We Are the World," appeared at the Beverly Hilton gala to fly her freak flag with pride.

"It is not always a popular cause," said Lauper, who sported a bun full of bleach blonde dread locks and a head-to-toe black leather pant suit for the event. "We can't call ourselves a free society when a certain group of people have civil liberties that are up for grabs," she continued, tears welling as she spoke.

Drawing a red carpet full of talented, artistic, and strong women (and a couple gents), music producer and third year event co-chair Linda Perry stopped by to chat with SuicideGirls. She told me about what it was like to grow up punk rock in the straight world, and her relationship with singer Pink.

Of the evening, Perry said, "It's a human event to me. It's not just a gay and lesbian event. There's so much to do in our community as humans, to help each other out. The Center provides healthcare, legal and domestic care, a senior program, and a monthly youth program. Kids are being thrown out every day for going to their parents and telling them 'hey Mom Dad I'm gay.' And instead of their parents embracing them like a parent should, they say 'Get out. You're sick. There's something wrong with you.' And the child is growing up on the street, prostituting, drug addicts. The Center offers all these wonderful things for them to help make their life better."

The petite (and very tatted) brunette was soft spoken and confident. Her advice for those of us who don't quite fit in with the mainstream cookie cutter mold of how women "should" look or act? Stay strong - and sweet: "When I was a kid people looked at me differently because I was a punk rocker, but my personality made up for it. If an older person looked at me funny, instead of being mean and agro, I would be really sweet and be me, and they would completely look at me differently...I feel that to overcome obstacles you can't throw more obstacles at them. Being defensive is just another obstacle."

Wearing chunky black Ani Difranco-esque boots, the former 4 Non Blondes singer, who's now more known for her songwriting skills, gushed about her good friend, Pink. Referring to the pregnant pop star who revealed she was 'with child' on Ellen last November, she said, "Alecia's going to be a great mom. Alecia and Carey will be great parents because they are going to accept their child for who they are. If their kid comes home one day and says they are gay, they will be okay with it."

Perry is currently touring to support her new album 8 Songs About a Girl, with her band Deep Dark Robot.



Rocker/actress Juliette Lewis let loose on the red carpet and inside, and looked stunning in a short white satin dress. She divulged to us why she's drawn to dark roles, and also rapped especially for SG:

"I'm always drawn to character work, interesting stories, and something that's out of the ordinary."

Her new film Sympathy for Delicious (in theaters April 29), tells the story of a wheelchair bound DJ who discovers a Jesus-like ability to heal the wounded and dejected of Los Angeles - although not himself. Of the controversial film, which is Mark Ruffalo's directorial debut and stars Orlando Bloom and Laura Linney, she says, "It's totally unique, strange, adventurous. It's about healing and faith and letting go of ego, and also about a rock & roll band. I play a bass player in the band."

(Some fans of Ruffalo, who charmed in the Oscar-winning film The Kids Are All Right, will be keen to know that the upcoming flick Normal Heart has him playing a gay man.)

Creating an on-the-spot quasi-rhyme for our site, Lewis offers this gem:

"Be loud and proud and always recognize the power of your own voice. Not just looking outside, you gotta look inward. Recognize your own strength."

Lewis, who roused the crowd of 600 with a three-song set which included a table dance during an apropos cover of the CCR/Tina Turner hit "Proud Mary," says she's crossing her fingers she'll be working musically with Linda Perry soon.

Next to pass us on the red carpet was George Gray. Game show geeks will be pleased to know that he's the new announcer for Drew Carrey's latest undertaking; veteran hit show The Price is Right. Gray also happens to be an avid SG fan, and raved that we're.... "Edgy! You know what to expect from mainstream stuff, but with [SG] I think Bettie Page, lava lamps and a vintage car parked in the drive."

Well thank you.

Twilight and comic book fans will recognize the name Jackson Rathbone, who played Jasper Hale in The Twilight Saga and Sokka in The Last Airbender. Also a musician, the suave 26-year old (who hearts SG) will be on tour with his band 100 Monkeys starting August 28. He enthused, "I love the SuicideGirls. I've always been drawn to that punk attitude. Not letting anyone else define who you are except yourself." The proud owner of nine tattoos, he admits that if he weren't an actor, he'd have more. On his iPod right now? The band Mr. Heavenly.

Just before going in to spy on the auction, which offered up a Kat Von D tattoo to a lucky bidder (who paid over $10,000), I spoke with country singer Chely Wright, who attended with fiancée Lauren Blitzer. She said that coming out for her was a matter of life or death:

"It was a big decision to come out. I had been hiding it for a long time. It wasn't a new realization for me. The balance sheet of my life became irreconcilable. It was a big decision. I knew that it might affect my career negatively. Now, my life is fuller. I did the right thing. I think I'm learning that I still have friends in Nashville."

Wright is the first and only openly gay country singer to date.

The documentary about Chely's coming out, Wish Me Away, premiered in Nashville. In it, she says, "Here's the Achilles heel of hiding. When you're bewildered, stumped and scared. When you're in hiding. You have nowhere to turn. Because nobody knows your secret and when you're in pain you can't reach out to anybody. I have a network now. That is the beautiful benefit of living in the light."

Of shows like The Real L Word, Wright says, "any time you can get a positive image of people like us in TV and the media, it's important because young people are looking for people with whom they can identify."



The always unpredictable Sarah Silverman was in the house, and earned the wrath of a drunken heckler who blurted obscenities when she dared to bring up religion in her comedy act - specifically, when she talked about Christians who question her about why the Jews killed Jesus. She rolled with the interruption, segueing into a conception joke about having once shot out of her father's pee hole. Seemingly off-putting given the overwhelmingly lesbian crowd, in the end she saved the day, spouting the clever punch line, "I can't believe I was ever that skinny."



An Evening With Women, celebrating art, music and equality is an annual fundraiser thrown by the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. For more info and to donate, visit: www.lagaycenter.org/.

Photography: Lok Hwa, Lydia Marcus, and Faye Sadou
***

Darrah de jour is a freelance journalist who lives in LA with her dog Oscar Wilde. Her writing has appeared in Marie Claire, Esquire and W. In her Red, White and Femme: Strapped With A Brain - And A Vagina columns for SuicideGirls, Darrah will be taking a fresh look at females in America.

by Laurelin

When I first came up with the idea for this column, the name “Life Beyond the Bar Scene” just seemed perfect. The life I lead is so immersed in the service industry that I really can’t see past it right now; everyone I know in Boston I met at a bar. Literally, everyone. Everywhere I turn, it’s bartenders, servers, bouncers, barbacks, nightlife, my life. It wasn’t always this way.

When I first moved to Boston from Rhode Island five years ago I was escaping the coastal college bar scene that had become my life. After waitressing in restaurants though high school and waitressing in bars, nightclubs and strip clubs through college I was desperate for change - I called it the life of strobe lights and glitter. With the threat of becoming too tan, too skinny, and too hung up on easy money, I ran to Boston with a new 9-5 job as a preschool teacher five years after graduating college.

After almost a year of lonely early nights and lonely early mornings teaching, I gave up. Waking up with the sun, coffee and toast for one in the morning, packed lunch for one in the afternoon, and a rushed cooked dinner and TV for one in the evenings wasn’t for me. Coming home exhausted to the cat every afternoon around 5, looking forward to weekends that ended too quickly, trying to date but not having the time - God, I am getting nauseous just thinking about it. So, I came crawling back to the only other thing I had ever known - bars.

I started waitressing and instantly had a Boston family; I couldn’t have been happier. Ever since my first night at that restaurant on Brighton Avenue in Allston it began again - the bar scene life that other people leave behind in their early twenties was now going to see me into my thirties. It was ready and waiting for me with open arms, and I dove back into them, telling myself that I would leave when I was ready; the money is too good, the hours are too easy, and for now, this life fits who I am. Hell, I even got hired to write about it!

But the line between my professional life as a waitress turned bartender and nightlife writer and my actual personal life has lately become blurred. Where does the job end and the lifestyle begin? Can the two ever really be separated? I was unable to date in the 9-5 environment. The one guy I was with for a while was ten years older than me, and even he said I wasn’t giving him enough time. I fell off the planet after a few months, figuring with our age difference it wouldn’t have worked out anyways. He recovered quickly so I was told, and when I ran into him next he was with a woman his age. I couldn’t help but be a little jealous, even though our parting way had been my choice.

Once I got back into the service industry I was back in action. I met some really amazing guys my age, dated, hooked up, had some amazing relationships…but all with servers, bouncers, or bartenders - I was happy with these guys, but we all had the same problem: the nightlife. We were all wild. When it comes to relationships, I’ve always told guys that they need to keep up or get out. Other industry people understand me, they understand the life.

I’m not easy to keep up with; I’m not exactly the mild mannered little girl you want to take home to meet your parents. That’s what I keep telling myself anyways. The reality is actually quite different, although lately I have been questioning my ability to find a balance. After my last relationship ended six months ago I can’t help but feel like two different people. I keep asking myself, what’s the difference between who you are when you’re single and who you are when you’re in a relationship?

I truly believe the service industry has effected me and what I expect out of guys and relationships in general. I’ve always come off as tough, crass, and sarcastic - and that is who I am - but there’s another side under there somewhere. I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in fairy tales, love at first sight, soul mates. I like wild nights out, but there’s just something nice about having someone to come home to, quiet nights in, and routine. Those are things that you rarely find when you’re dating within the bar scene.

That hopeless romantic isn’t around much these days,. Up until six months ago she was me, and she believed in happily ever after. I don’t even know that person anymore. I’d say that I don’t recognize myself, but I know exactly who this crazy girl is. She’s my worse half, and for some reason she keeps looking for answers on the bottom of a bottle of Jameson.

This lifestyle is literally dousing gasoline on what was already an out of control fire, and all I can do is stand and watch. Back in September it was justifiable. I was just out of a serious relationship and needed to get back out there. Now it’s just taken a turn for the weird. I literally see myself acting a certain way or saying certain things, and it’s almost like I’m watching someone else sabotage my life. I’m my own nightmare, waking up mornings and just thinking, “Oh God, not again…”

I know that I’m a handful, and that nothing is ever easy. “Keep up or get out” seems to be where I’m at right now, even though in the back of my mind I know I can’t do it forever (nor do I want to, honestly). All I can do right now is work on finding a balance. Is there a life for me beyond the bar scene? I think so. I hope so. Because I’m exhausted.

by Laurelin

I woke up a few mornings ago and felt like I was changing. Sadness and doubt, creeping in to smother my usually bright demeanor, one centimeter of skin turning grey at a time, like Natalie Portman's black swan transformation. Slow but steady, this feeling of just losing control. There is no worse feeling in the world. I am always in control, or so I like to think, and it's days like this that I wake up and realize it's all a fallacy. I have about as much control over my life as a bike with no brakes flying down a hill into a crowded intersection. This is just a feeling though, my choices are my own, it's just some days I feel so... helpless.

My friend Jordan had been feeling the same lately, so last night the two of us met up for drinks so he could vent. He's been dating this girl, and without going into too much into detail, it doesn't seem to be working out in his favor. He cares for her and wants it to work out, but instead of his concern making things better, it seems to be making things worse. He's watching her disappear, and there's nothing he can do about it. It was driving him crazy, and he wanted a girl's point of view on the situation.

It cracks me up when people ask me for relationship advice. Anyone will tell you, I have the mind of a fraternity guy. I've always had more male friends than female, and while I, of course, have some crazy female tendencies, when it comes to relationships gone sour, I tend to solve any problem by just falling off the planet. You act like an idiot? I disappear. I refuse to chase after anyone, and the second I find myself doing it, the game is over. It's embarrassing. Closure is nice, but it rarely happens. I know it's a strange way to look at it, but my main thing is this: Dating is supposed to be fun, and the second it stops being fun, it's time to call it quits.



No one deserves to be a puppy dog chasing after anyone. For me, it's the common fight or flight thing. The second things get scary, the second I think I might be in heartbreak territory, the second anyone starts being an asshole or too whiney or needy, I'm getting the hell outta dodge.

Jordan and I sipped our beers and I advised him to maybe take a little break, take her number out of his cell phone, and let her breathe for a while. If she missed him, she would get in touch with him and then they could chat.

"But then I won't have her number anymore," he said.

"Exactly!" I replied. Out of sight, out of mind? Not so much, but at least it would save him the trouble of getting drunk and sending something he would regret in the morning. My girlfriends and I are huge fans of the delete option. No late night drunk texts, no phone calls that would leave you cursing at the sky the morning after a crazy night, and no waking up in your ex's bed. The delete is your friend.

I know it seems like all I'm doing is suggesting he play games. I hate to think of myself as a game player, and if I am then I almost always lose. But when it comes to dealing with women, it's all you can do. Girls, as much as we hate to admit it, thrive on drama. When a guy is acting super nice and all up in my life constantly, even if I secretly think it's cute. I find myself asking my girlfriends where I managed to find a stalker. If the same guy all of a sudden stops calling, I am wondering what I did wrong and how I messed up the greatest thing to happen to me [this week...]. Girls are fucking crazy. Being single and back on the scene however, I'm seeing that guys are just as nuts. It's exhausting.

My advice to Jordan is probably advice that wouldn't kill me to take as well. Slow down. Chill out. Stop freaking people out. Maybe cool it with the drinking. He's an amazing guy, and any girl would be lucky to be with him, but if you don't play the game, the game's going to play you. We learned over the bar to grab another round.

"What's wrong with Jordan?" the bartender (my ex boyfriend) asked.

"He just needs a little relationship advice," I said with a smirk. As the bartender poured our beers, I honestly don't think I have heard anyone laugh so hard.

"From YOU?" He crowed, setting our beers down, "Now THAT is funny."

I started giggling. Point taken. Sorry Jordan, you're on your own.

***

Related Posts:
Life Beyond the Bar Scene: He Broke Up with Me on a Post-it and Other Travesties

Life Beyond the Bar Scene: After a Few Beers Everyone Looks Good and Other Love Stories

by Blogbot

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.


[Epiic in Squidcats]

Epiic Suicide doesn't beat around the bush when it comes to her fave SG hang out, which is Hirsute, a group "for those who love hair...all over."

Members: 1429 / Comments: 9,219

• WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: It's nice to be accepted. The different women and their prefered styles are inspiring. For me, it's a sort of artistic fashion statement. And, of course, I get to perv on all the hot photos submitted by members and SGs.


• DISCUSSION TIP: Don't hate or we'll burn you at the stake.


• BEST RANDOM QUOTE: "Show us your warm and fuzzies."


• MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: Not much, maybe fights over which SG has the perfect bush lol. Suri our sexy fur leader keeps us in check."


• WHO'S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Those who appreciate and love hair.

Related Posts:
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Tarion on Atheists
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Rambo on Photography
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Thistle on Vamos Gigantes

by Brad Warner

My friend John Graves sent me a photo of a billboard that's been appearing all over Los Angeles. The one he took a picture of was right near The Grove, in one of the highest rent districts in one of the highest rent cities in the whole world. The billboard says: "The Bible Guarantees Judgment Day May 21, 2011, ...Cry mightily unto God - Jonah 3:8, Mon-Fri 5:30 - 7PM, 1280 AM Radio FamilyRadio." Next to these words is a photo of a guy who is either kneeling to pray or in the throes of a painful bout of constipation.




According to friends of mine these billboards have also been spotted in the San Francisco Bay area, Minneapolis, Dallas and even here in Akron, Ohio. For those who want to know exactly how they worked this date out, there is a convenient website that explains it all. Frankly, I couldn't get past the second paragraph.

A little bit of research on the Internets reveals that the billboards are based upon the work of a Christian broadcaster by the name of Harold Camping, president of something called Family Stations, Inc. a religious broadcasting outfit based in California. Back in 1992, Camping published a book called 1994? in which he claimed that the End Times, in which the world will undergo severe tribulations in preparation for Christ’s Second Coming, would start in ’94.

He and his followers stood outside the Alameda Veteran's Memorial Building on September 6th of that year with their Bibles open heavenward to await Jesus' return. Jesus never showed up. Camping said he may have made a mathematical error. Now he says his new calculations are certain beyond a shadow of doubt. The folks at a website called The Thinking Atheist have produced this video explaining some more about Camping from their perspective.

All of these billboards had me wondering if the whole thing might be some kind of elaborate hoax, a promo for some big budget end-of-the-world thriller. I'm still a little skeptical. But unless whoever is behind the hoax is able to manipulate Wikipedia and Amazon with an impressive degree of skill, as well as post a whole lot of other stuff on the web that corroborates the existence of Camping and his church, this would appear to be for real.

Christianity is in part an apocalyptic religion. Some scholars have argued that Jesus himself was a preacher whose main stock in trade was predicting the coming end of the world. This seems to be borne out by the New Testament as it has come down to us.

One of the biggest problems the early church had was how to deal with Christ's prediction recorded in Luke 9:27 that "there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God." The "some standing here" would appear to refer to his original 12 apostles. When those apostles started dying off, guys who came along slightly later like St. Paul had a hard time explaining themselves since the kingdom of God had yet to appear.

And yet, somehow, they persevered and made their case quite successfully. Christianity has lasted for over 2000 years predicting that the end of the world is coming soon. This they have done mainly by making the definition of "soon" more and more vague. And although many mainstream Christians have switched over to viewing Christ's apocalyptic statements as some kind of metaphor, there are still some who take it literally and try to work out the exact day it's all supposed to happen.

The Jehovah's Witnesses famously predicted the end of time to begin in 1917, which they then revised to 1918, then to 1925, and finally to 1975. Yet although the Rapture did not come on any of those dates, the Jehovah's Witnesses continue to thrive and ring doorbells all over the world.

One would assume that if somebody prophesized the end of the world on a given date and that given date came and went without major incident, everyone who had once believed in the prophecy would lose interest and whoever made the prophesy wouldn't be listened to anymore. But this has not been the case. In fact, quite the opposite seems to be true. Prophecies of the end of the world do not have to work out for them to have power.

Camping has obviously got some money behind him. That billboard near The Grove in Los Angeles alone must have set him back a load of cash. This would indicate that he has a healthy following. I would not expect that following to decrease markedly after May 22nd. I'm sure they'll be just fine. I predict that Camping will come up with a justification for his seeming failure and the troops will rally behind him to await the next prophesy. Maybe he's working on that even now. It's a time-honored pattern and I see no reason why this one will be any different.

I'll assume most of you reading this probably share the belief of most people who have studied the New Testament. The consensus of contemporary scholars is that the New Testament is cobbled together from various sources. Many of its writers were not even who they claimed to be according to Biblical scholar Bart D. Ehrman in his new book Forged: Writing in the Name of God - Why the Bible's Authors Are Not Who We Think They Are. Most of us here, then, don't even give a second thought to the notion that Camping or any of the others who prophesize the destruction of the world based on Biblical calculations are correct. Yet obviously quite a few people believe it and maybe quite a few more, though not believers, still wonder if it just might be true.

Like you, I am at a loss to understand why anyone at all believes this stuff or even gives it a second thought. It's been pointed out by those who study organizations like this that their members are often people who would otherwise be regarded as having a high degree of intelligence. Although I know of no studies of Camping's group, I've seen studies of other religious organizations that believe similarly bat-shit crazy things and who have many members that are highly educated and seemingly sane. So one can't simply write off those who believe this stuff as merely stupid. Well, I would say that they're stupid to believe such things, but many of them are not stupid according to our usual methods of judging people's intelligence or lack thereof. They may well be college educated, socially adept and so forth.

Here's my theory, for what it's worth. Matters of belief, whatever those beliefs may be, are things by which we define our sense of self. Most of us hold our sense of self as the most precious thing we possess. We'll go to any lengths to defend it. We'll lie, we'll steal, we'll sometimes even kill to protect this sense of self.

Holding on to a set of beliefs is a great way to reinforce the sense of self. If that set of beliefs is an unpopular one, this can work even better. It really sets us off against everybody else. It's a tremendous way to establish your unique ego.

Plus, organizations like this often offer a tremendous sense of community to their membership. This is one of the things our contemporary society really has trouble with. I know I often feel alone and alienated. It's hard to find a community in the world we live in these days. But we so desperately want that sense of belonging that if it means believing in bat-shit crazy ideas, the trade-off doesn't seem so bad.

I just wonder what these guys are going to do on May 22nd.


***

Brad is on tour right now and may be in your area. To see where Brad will be speaking next visit his blog.

Brad Warner is the author of Sex, Sin and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between as well as Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up! and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff that you can click here to see.

You can also buy T-shirts and hoodies based on his books, and the new CD by his band Zero Defex now!

by Laurelin

Relationships are funny. I remember thinking when I was dating my ex that two people couldn't be more perfect for each other. I was so lucky to be with my best friend and I couldn't imagine facing the world with anyone but him by my side. As time went on I think I realized that maybe that was part of our problem - maybe we were always just meant to be friends. The world started looking a little different to me when I finally pinpointed that what I had always viewed as one of our strengths was actually a fatal weakness.



I always looked at other people's relationships and almost felt bad. They fought, they cheated, they lied. My ex and I never did any of these things. It's weird to think though, almost two years with not one fight? Again, something I thought of as a good thing was actually someone's lack of caring, though it was a mutual choice to stay silent and forget rather than work on our problems. We talked all the time, every day, every night, but we never really communicated.

It makes me question the type of people I attract, or that attract me. In my life time I have dated a guy that wound up hooking up with my best friend, a guy who cheated on me when I studied abroad, a guy who tried to control every aspect of my life, and a guy who couldn't communicate beyond being capable of ordering a late night pizza. What do they all have in common? Drinking. We are drinkers. We are bartenders, servers, night owls, social butterflies.

I met every one of these men either in a frat house or bar. I'm not complaining about this. Meeting people in these situations means that these guys can keep up with me, that they won't look down on my bar scene life. They can handle a public conversation and are fun to be around. But as I get older, I can see that becoming a problem. Frat boys turn career bartenders, career bartenders turn to couch ridden alcoholics. I don't want to know what comes after that.

The other night while I was at the bar a guy approached me and asked if I wanted a drink. One of the major perks of being a single girl is being able to wholeheartedly say YES to the offer of a drink without feeling guilty about leading the guy on. I agreed and stood up to join him at the bar while we waited on a few shots. I noticed this surly looking girl glaring at me from a few feet away.

"What's that girl's problem?" I nudged the guy.

"Oh, that's my girlfriend," he said nonchalantly, "she's a bitch."

Stop the presses. What? I immediately turned around and went back to my table and watched as the poor girlfriend went over and started screaming at the guy and gesturing over at me. I felt terrible. I felt even more terrible when he shoved her off him and ran back over to me.

"Sorry," he said. "I don't even like her. What shots did we want? I'll go get them."

The look of horror on my face must not have gotten my point across, because two minutes later he was back at my table with six shots. "I didn't know what you liked, so I got two Washington Apples, two Jameson, and two Red-Headed Sluts."

The girlfriend came running over, and slapped him, yelling, "Why do you always do this? You are embarrassing me! It's time to go HOME!" He looked at me as he was getting dragged out of the bar and actually yelled, "CALL ME!"

Yeah buddy, coming right up. You seem like a real stand up guy.

My friends and I had a good laugh and were left with a table of six shots, so we helped ourselves. But it really got me thinking. This is the path I'm willingly headed down. If those are the types of guys I'm meeting in bars, then what kind of girl am I? It works both ways. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with some lush. Conversely, do guys want to take a girl that they met while drunk at a bar home to mom?

I suppose I'll have to deal with this at some point. But for now, as long as people are hand delivering me six shots at a time, I think I'll stay for last call and enjoy this single life just a little longer...

by Blogbot

This Sunday (Mar 13th) our very special in-studio guest will be rock journalist and author Neil Strauss. He’ll be talking about his latest offering, Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead, an interview anthology-cum-self-help book, featuring wise (and not so wise) words from the likes of Trent Reznor, Lady Gaga, Chuck Berry, Madonna, Marilyn Manson, Johnny Cash, and many, many more.



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About Neil Strauss

Neil Strauss is the author of The New York Times bestsellers The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, Rules of the Game, and Emergency. He is also the coauthor of three other New York Times bestsellers – Jenna Jameson’s How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Mötley Crüe’s The Dirt, and Marilyn Manson’s The Long Hard Road Out of Hell – as well as Dave Navarro’s Don’t Try This at Home, a Los Angeles Times bestseller. His latest book, Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead, collects the 228 best, craziest, and most soul-baring moments from his adventures with musicians, celebrities, and icons while writing cover stories for Rolling Stone and The New York Times. Strauss lives in Los Angeles and can be found at NeilStrauss.com/.

Read our exclusive interview with Neil Strauss on SuicideGirls.com/.