Does Even Alberto Gonzales Hate Todd Goliath?
I know, I know, it sounds crazy, and I bet you're thinking Alberto Gonzales probably doesn't even know who Todd Goliath is, much less hate him! But tell me, what other explanation can there be for the Attorney General, along with the rest of our fine Justice Department, suddenly up and vowing to crack down harder than ever on nefarious intellectual property bandits?
The Justice Department is pledging to get even tougher on copyright violators and other intellectual property thieves, saying it has already boosted convictions and lengthened prison sentences.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said Monday he was sending a bill to Congress--the Intellectual Property Protection Act of 2007--that would toughen penalties for repeat offenders. He also said he would "hit criminals in their wallets" by boosting restitution and ensuring all ill-gotten gains are forfeited, as well as any property used to commit the crimes.
Wow, that's harsh! Even so, I can't think of anyone whose wallet I'd rather hit right now (and by wallet, I mean groin) than Goliath. Dude needs to be smacked upside the head with that Intellectual Property Protection Act but good. I'm not so sure about a prison sentence, though. The proliferation of his "art" is annoying on a Thomas Kincade level, and his level of success is insulting to real struggling talent, but I'm not sure it's really enough to be punishable by a prison stay.
Come to think of it, I'm really actually kind of surprised that, given our current administration's penchant for laissez-faire economics, the attorney general would be so bloodthirsty for Goliath, who basically said, "Screw everyone else, whatever it takes to make me a millionaire." One would think they would, if anything, hold him up as a shining beacon of intrepid entrepreneurship.
But, wait a second. This is about that kind of intellectual property theft, isn't it? This isn't just another way to chip away at the same tired old Viacom hates YouTube problem again, is it? Because if all "tougher on intellectual property thieves" means is "suing people who upload clips of Kids in the Hall and making it so that I can't post the 'Girl Drink Drunk' sketch on an internet message board because it won't be making certain people more money that way," I am going to be very angry indeed.
TV and film piracy has been a big issue in the conversion to digital, with Justice pledging to boost the number of attorneys trained to prosecute intellectual property (IP) crimes and to encourage more international cooperation in investigations.
Universal Chairman Bob Wright has argued that getting a handle on that piracy is not only critical to the digital TV conversion, but the whole U.S. and even global economy.
"These crimes, as we all know, also have a direct impact on our economy, costing victims millions of dollars and, if left unchecked, diminishing entrepreneurship," Gonzales said in announcing the bill.
Oh, god damn it!
