Man With 78 Kids Going for 100
If you thought the story of Jim Bob Dugger, his semen trough, uh, wife and their 17 Jesus spawn was extreme, this will blow your fucking mind.
A one-legged Emirati father of 78 is lining up his next two wives in a bid to reach his target of 100 children by 2015, Emirates Today reported on Monday.
Daad Mohammed Murad Abdul Rahman, 60, has already had 15 brides although he has to divorce them as he goes along to remain within the legal limit of four wives at a time.
"In 2015 I will be 68 years old and will have 100 children," the local tabloid quoted Abdul Rahman as saying.
"After that I will stop marrying. I have to have at least three more marriages to hit the century."
The United Arab Emirates newspaper splashed its front page with a picture of Abdul Rahman surrounded by his children, the eldest of whom is 36 years old and the youngest of whom is 20 days old. Two of his current three wives are also pregnant.
Now, in order to help you put this into perspective, I did the calculations and came up with some interesting statistics for when this sexual Tyrannosaurus reaches the century mark:
- Assuming the children are spread out evenly over a total of 18 wives, each wife will have given birth to 5-6 children over a period of 44 years, with a total average of 2-3 children over the same period.
- The total time of pregnancy, using the average time frame of 9 months, will be 900 months, or 75 years.
- Your everyday ejaculation can be anywhere from 1.5 to 5 milliliters (for you non-math conversion types, 1 milliliter = about 1 teaspoon), and a "normal" sperm count is around 70-80 million sperm per milliliter. Assuming each pregnancy takes on the first try, Daab Mohammed will have spilled anywhere from 10.5-40 trillion of his potential children into waiting wombs.
Daab Mohammed, who lost his leg in a road accident, receives a monthly military pension of 24,000 dirham (around $6,500 American). But not even being an amputee can slow this testicular Hercules down.
After Ramadan, I will go to Jaipur to get an artificial leg and marry a beautiful Rajasthani girl, he told Emirates Today. I have had seven Indian brides."
The Emirates Today article gives more insight into the life of the man who puts Mr. Dugger and his cracker factory, uh, wife to shame.
Even though my family is big, I dont have any problem managing the budget, he said. If I buy fish for the entire family I have to spend a minimum of Dh500 per day. If the menu includes mutton at least Dh1,000 per day is required, and thats just for the meat. And despite having so many offspring he does not overlook the vital duty of any dad. He added: I take care of their requirements and pay pocket money to each and every child.
Godspeed, Daad Mohammed Murad Abdul Rahman, you poster child for superhuman virility, you. And be sure to take plenty of Vitamin E.
thefreak took an online quiz today that said he will die while having sex. If it's from having that much sex, he will die a happy man.
Life as a Polygamist's Wife
Last week Guardian Unlimited told the story of Maggi, a Mississippi based "sisterwife," one of four wives living together with one husband. Her account provides a rare glimpse into the daily life of a polygamist household and their curious sexual and financial arrangement.
on sex:
As for sex, no we don't get very much actual sex, ie, our husband entering us, but he does work very hard and sometimes quite late so a wife cannot expect him to perform every night...We all live in the same house. We have a bunk-bed double on the bottom and single on the top. Husband, first wife and the "ON" wife sleep on the bottom and the other two "OFF" wives sleep above. We find this very intimate as we all are sleeping in the same bed though on different levels and we can still feel and hear what is happening when sex happens in our bed."
on hot girl-on-girl action:
"No, we don't have physical relationships between sisterwives because its not permitted in our religion. We sleep with our arms on top of our bed covers so it doesn't happen. And in any case if any wife was foolish enough to try all would feel it in our bed; a simple rule - no touching or kissing in bed or at any other time between one woman and another sisterwife and another."
on the future:
I love being in a polygamy family and my sisterwives agree with me. The downside is the sex, not the quality, I have no complaints about that, but just the quantity and we all know that it will get worse when the final two wives join in the next two to three years. Then it will be like two to three times in six weeks. As you go higher in the temple government the more wives you have to have and as our husband has been appointed as group treasurer and deputy convenor of our temple it means he now must have six wives. Us wives get no say in how many wives our husband has but we do have a big say in who joins us - as a sisterwife it's really the only power we have.