O-Bin: Happy Birthday 9/11!
Its always nice when old friends remember your birthday. In this case, Osama Bin Laden is sending America a happy B-day message for 9/11s big sixth. O-Bin is dropping his video shout out on Sunday and people are excited.
A new bin Laden videotape would be eagerly anticipated since he has not been seen in almost three years.
An official said the intelligence community would be very interested in the timeliness of the message -- whether bin Laden mentions current events, for example, or some other clue to indicate when the tape was produced -- and whether it offers new leads to his whereabouts.
Yeah. For instance, Osama could say, I want to give a What Up? to the sweet ladies playing in the Womens Football World Cup from the mountains of South Waziristan.
The Search for International Terrorist Entities Intelligence Group said the release was being promoted on terrorist websites. The announcement came with a new picture of O-Bin, in which he looks older but has died his beard completely black. His beard used to have grey streaks, but he switched hair stylists last year.
"I think it works for al Qaeda's benefit that he looks young, he looks healthy," said Rita Katz, director of SITE.
Oh, hell yeah! Rumors say he may even wear a wife beater to show off his new guns. You dont want to see his fucking abs. Kapow!
The last time Original Bin dropped a video was in 2004, just days before the 2004 presidential election. The video is credited with scaring Americans into voting for George Bush in a close election. But the video release was just a coincidence. Just like it is a coincidence that General Petreaus will deliver his report on the Iraq war to Congress a couple of days after the new O-bin video is released.
A Department of Homeland Security explained how Americans should feel about the new video.
There was no credible information about any imminent threat to the United States. But we are in a period of increased risk.
So, dont be afraid, but be afraid!
The Original Bin released his video through his usual media production company, As-Sahab. As-Sahab and O-Bin have been making videos together since the bombing of the USS Cole. After being shot and edited, the videos are released on the Internet on sites like YouTube. Fight Globalists like to upload terrorist videos as soon as they get their hands on them.
As-Sahab also has a really great logline for the flick, which accompanies the ad banners they have bought online.
Soon, God willing, video message by the Lion Sheik Osama bin laden, may God protect him.
Is it a good sign that Osama bin Laden has a media production company that buys ad banners online? That seems to be an indication that hes doing okay.
Islam Takes The Lead In Religious Nutjob Race
Just when you think Christians are the nuttiest fuckers in the land, Islam pulls a doozy. A new video that is making its way around Pakistan shows a 12-year-old boy beheading a blindfolded man with a knife. After removing the head, he holds it up by its hair while an excited crowd yells, God is great. Now, that is a fucking party!
The man who loses his head is Ghulam Nabi, an accused American spy. Nabi is believed to have betrayed a top Taliban official, which led to his death by an airstrike. Nabi makes a confession before he is blindfolded and separated from his head. The boy apparently hacks and hacks at his neck until the head comes off. Thats for you Mohammad!
"He is an American spy. Those who do this kind of thing will get this kind of fate," says his baby-faced executioner, who is not identified.
There is also a kick ass soundtrack to go along with the action. The songs praise Taliban leader Mullah Omar and Osama Bin Laden.
Nabis father is very upset that his sons head was removed and did not seem to be at all excited that it was done by a twelve-year-old. I guess some people don't care about records being broken. He chose not to purchase the video which is being sold in the town market.
"The Taliban are not mujahedeen. They are not fighting for the cause of Islam," the 70-year-old said. "If I got my hands on them I would kill them and even tear their flesh with my own teeth."
If the first Nabi video is successful in its home video release, Tear Their Flesh With My Own Teeth is scheduled to be the sequel. Hopefully the kid can handle the fame that comes with this kind of successful film. The world doesn't need any more Dana Platos or Corey Haims.
Happy Birthday, Osama!
Today is Osama bin Ladens birthday! Still in charge of al-Qaeda, still living up in the mountains somewhere and still plotting the destruction of America. His peeps showed him mad props on this glorious day.
All over the internet his radical followers dished out the love. Celebrations included a posted poem expressing dedication to Osama and a montage of the September 11 attacks called the "Manhattan invasion." Abu Yacoub, posted a picture on a popular al-Qaeda website that showed bin Laden sporting a helmet, a military uniform and carrying a two way radio.
"Osama bin Laden turns 50. God protect our leader, our Sheik Osama bin Laden. God reward him for his words and actions.
Unfortunately, like Jesus, nobody actually knows when bin Laden was born. Some think it was March 10, 1957, others believe it was July 30, 1957. I would recommend his followers break off into different camps and fight to the death to determine the exact day. Just a suggestion.
Who knows how Osama his enjoying his birthday? Maybe watching Sixteen Candles or going on a hike with his bros or tossing a frisbee with his dog, Jeff. Either way, we are pretty sure he is holed up in the mountains of Pakistan where he enjoys great popularity and, according to defense experts, al-Qaeda is growing stronger.
Dont party too much, Obama, or Osama, or whatever your name is.
The W Presidents Day Jamboree!
Happy Presidents Day, you soft alt-porn loving freaks! What better way to celebrate Presidents Day than to get to know George W. Bush a little better? Theres tons of stuff you probably didnt know, from the fact that W. wants to ass-fuck an Arab to the strong possibility that hes the anti-Christ.
Lets start with the ass-fucking! According to a new biography, Ariel Sharon: An Intimate Portrait, W had some interesting things to say about what he would do to Bin Laden.
Speaking of George Bush, with whom Sharon developed a very close relationship, Uri Dan recalls that Sharon's delicacy made him reluctant to repeat what the president had told him when they discussed Osama bin Laden. Finally he relented. And here is what the leader of the Western world, valiant warrior in the battle of cultures, promised to do to bin Laden if he caught him: "I will screw him in the ass!"
Wow, thats not at all gay. If I really hate someone and Im fantasizing about what I would do if I got my hands on them, ass rape is generally not anywhere on the list. I actually dont think of any kind of ass play at all.
Young W was born in Connecticut but raised in Texas. When W was seven, his three-year-old sister, Robin, died of leukemia. W was the only other child in the family at the time. Psychologically scarring!
He attended the Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts, where he showed his future leaderships skills as head cheerleader. After high school he took his talents to Yale, where he was nicknamed lip. W jumped right back into cheerleading with his Yale roommate, Victor Ashe.
Ashe went on to be mayor of Knoxville, Tennessee, and is rumored to have been arrested twice, but not charged, with soliciting male prostitutes. Many people in Knoxville consider Ashe to be gay, but that did not stop the President from seeing him. Ashe has made several unscheduled visits to the White House and according to the Secret Service, W made at least eight unscheduled and unannounced trips to Knoxville while he has been President. Ashe is now the Ambassador to Poland.
In the summer of 1977, Ws life changed forever. He met Laura Welch in Midland at a dinner at the home of their mutual friends Joe and Jan ONeill. They married three months later, on November 5, 1977. He kept drinking until he was forty, when he found God.
W has banned jeans in the Oval Office, but he often wears cowboy boots with his suits when meeting with foreign leaders, which certainly impresses them.
He has said that if he was stuck on a desert island he would bring a Bible, running shoes, a fishing rod and books. W must not realize that the Bible actually is a book.
The most important moment of his presidency arguably occurred in early in August 2001 when he received a memo from the CIA in August 2001 titled "Bin Laden Determined to Attack America." He then told the CIA, Okay, youve done your job and continued his month long vacation.
There is also ample evidence that besides being gay he is also the anti-Christ. According to MonkeyBuddha.com, several characteristics of anti-Christ fit W perfectly.
"Divides the world and creates war without end"
"Refers to war as peace, death as a solution for justice,
and serving the wealthy as a means of helping the poor."
"Attempts to win supporters, and will silence anyone or make enemies of any country who refuses to approve of him."
"A leader who deceives many people."
"They will follow in his battles that he will declare, boldly and without humility, are for a purpose which is untrue."
"Many nations will recognize that he is evil, but his own people will be inclined to believe his deceptions.
This is because the people who follow him will lose the ability to discern between the truth and the lie."
"A popular figure among those who are deceived by him"
"Professes to be a man of God, who is himself a Christian."
"He could be a high-ranking political leader, who will initially do very good, popular things, which will win him many followers.
"In the end, however, he is supposed to get increasingly totalitarian and elicit more and more sacrifices from his followers until eventually his evil ways become known, and the era of 'trials and tribulations' begins."
Also, Bush was born July 6, 1946. If you add up all the digits in his date of birth, you get 7+6+1+9+4+6 = 33 = 3+3 = 6. You cant really disagree with that kind of evidence.
So there you have it. The president is probably gay, is definitely the anti-Christ, watched a sister die slowly, hates office jeans, digs the Bible and wants to ass fuck the man responsible for any popularity he ever had.
Happy P Day!
Obama The Boy Diddler
First the media went after Barack Obama for having a similar name to Osama Bin Laden. Then they placed Obamas name over a picture of Bin Laden. It cant really get worse than being called a terrorist, right? Wrong.
How about child molester?
The media sure does make a lot of mistakes with Obama
Barack Obama Is A Dirty Terrorist
CNN is doing their best to undo Barack Obama before he can even get going. First they decided to do a comparison between Obama and US enemy number one, Osama Bin Laden. And why not? The two guys have a similar name. Its called quality journalism and CNN should be proud.
But obviously that was not enough, as Obama continues to gather steam in his push toward becoming the first black president. So, CNN decided to step it up a level by placing Obamas name right over a picture of Bin Laden.
Thank God Wolf Blitzer did not apologize for the horrible error. There's no way any one of the several people in the control room could have possibly seen it. Nope, they just continued on with the show, talking about Osama Bin Laden.
BLITZER: As we begin 2007, here is a fact. Osama bin Laden still remains at large. Is there any chance 2007 is going to see a change in his status?
Let's go to CNN's Brian Todd. He's watching this part of the story -- Brian.
BRIAN TODD, CNN CORRESPONDENT, WASHINGTON: Wolf, with Saddam Hussein now vanquished, our attention again shifts to the West's public enemy number one, and a trail that seems no warmer than it was years ago.
Barely five years after September 11 and the battle of Tora Bora, when U.S. and Afghan forces may have come closest to getting him, the world's most wanted man seems a distant shadow.
At last word from U.S. intelligence and counterterrorism officials, Osama bin Laden is believed to be in the mountainous frontier along the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan.
Hope they catch Obama before he becomes the first black president. Maybe next they can photo shop that beard onto Obama and put an AK-47 in his hands.
Is Bin Laden Dead?
Osama bin Laden catalyzed the turning point for the Bush administration. His actions in orchestrating the 9/11 attacks changed Bush from what was looking to be an ineffectual, one term presidency into a juggernaut of war, anti-terror and a shift in domestic focus on security that at least temporarily vaulted Bush and the GOP into what looked to be lasting dominance. But despite 2004 rumors of an October surprise that would reveal his capture and cement Bush's lead in the race, it turned into an embarassment when bin Laden instead released an, at least semi-triumphant video taunting Bush's inability to capture the man. Democrats have turned the man's endless elusion of anti-terror forces into a thorn in Bush's side, and an accusation that the war on terror has lost focus.
International rumors may change bin Laden's relationship with the administration, however, if they are confirmed that he is dead.
A report that Osama bin Laden is dead has set off a flurry of denials from U.S., French and Pakistani officials, who say the newspaper report citing French intelligence cannot be independently confirmed.
A Saudi intelligence official, however, told CNN on Saturday that the al Qaeda leader is suffering from a waterborne illness. There have been credible reports that the most wanted man in the world is ill, but there is no intelligence indicating he is dead, the source said.
L'Est Republicain, citing a September 21 French foreign intelligence document, reported that Saudi officials had received confirmation that bin Laden died August 23 of typhoid fever in Pakistan.
"We believe this reporting to be unsubstantiated," a U.S. intelligence official said.
Other U.S. intelligence officials concurred, and White House spokesman Blair Jones said, "We have no confirmation of that report."
A senior White House official with access to intelligence reports added that he has made several calls to senior government officials and could not verify the report.
Across the Atlantic, French President Jacques Chirac said the report was "in no way confirmed" and that he was initiating an investigation into who leaked the confidential document to L'Est Republicain.
"I was rather surprised to see that a confidential note from the [General Directorate for External Security] was published, and I have asked the minister of defense to start an investigation immediately and to reach whatever conclusions are necessary," Chirac said after trade talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin and German Chancellor Angela Merkel in Compiegne, France.
If bin Laden is actually dead, everyone, regardless of political affiliation, should take a moment or two to reflect, then high-five whoever is closest to them that this man is no longer with us. However, aftterwards the implications of his death would be complicated, particularly depending on their circumstances. If he is dead we can be damned sure that Bush will do what he can to show that he is somehow responsible for the death. And if he can do a convincing job it will be a big bonus for Bush's approval rating (regardless of the fact that it probably won't change the international terrorism situation a whole lot, it will still be a symbolic victory), and possibly a gain for the GOP in the midterm elections. Of course, it would also present an opportunity for Democrats to make hay with Bush's foreign policy before the 2008 elections if international terrorism remains the problem that it currently is, both in Iraq and elsewhere.
Bin Laden's death would also remove a key figure from the "war on terror" - pretty much everyone would agree that even if he were dead the war would hardly be over in any meaningful sense of the word. Who would be the figurehead of "evil" that bin Laden continually manages to be? He serves a useful political purpose as a bogeyman and a reason to continue with the current internatioanl focus on terror. With him gone, would the "war on terror" lose steam as well?
All of these questions may be academic if he turns out to still be alive (and his penchant for timing the release of videos with US election cycles should help answer the question soon enough.) But if is dead, things are sure to become more interesting.