Internuts: Weekly Web Wrap-Up
by Carlovely
I scour the web so you don’t have to!
Your Grandma ain’t got squat on this break dancing granny! Check out the video above to see Grandma Tracy breakdancing at Mad Decent NYC block party, fanny pack and all. It’s safe to say that this 60-something Grandma shows us all that there’s more to aging than prunes and crosswords. YOU GO GRANNY! (via: baratunde.com)
Speaking of old ladies dancing, the video above, which I found on caprice crane’s tumblr, features some pretty stellar moves of a lady at a listening kiosk in Wall*Mart.
Hold on to your controllers nerds. DeviantArt user, PluckyLump, has made the wet dreams of Nintendo freaks everywhere come true. Check out this AWESOME pin-up princess peach art. ”I suppose it’s a comment on finding video game characters sexually arousing. Mostly I wanted to draw a sexy lady which I’ve never attempted before.” says PluckyLump. To see more of his work, check out his DeviantArt portfolio here. (via: carlovely.com)
Ever wonder how Will Smith ended up at his Auntie & Uncle in Bel Air? Wonder no more. Check out more song lyrics as google map driving directions here.
Last, but certainly not least, I leave you with a ladybug orgy. (See more ladybug porn here, you sick freak).
Each week I will be bringing you the best of the internet, from new memes to classic videos.
have a hot tip? Send it over to carlovely@gmail.com!
SuicideGirls Nerds Out at New York Comic Con
The biggest story at New York Comic Con turned out not to be. I didn't hear a single fan whining that the headlining guest, J. Michael Straczynski, had pulled out of the convention. JMS recently scored a BAFTA nomination for his work on Changeling, and the award ceremony in London turned out to be the same weekend as the New York con. Looking through the program at all the signings and panels they had scheduled him for, I expected it to be a bigger deal. I guess comics fans were more concerned with the creators who were actually there.
Bryan Lee O'Malley, for example. The 29 year-old artist and writer of the Scott Pilgrim series of graphic novels has finally achieved rockstar status, if the lines around the Oni Press booth for his signings were any indication. The New York Times apparently thinks so, too: their Comic Con write-up gave more space to Scott Pilgrim than everything else put together. I picked up the freshly-released fifth volume of the series, and I can tell you that Mal deserves all the praise he's getting. The buzz wasn't just about the book, though: Scott Pilgrim is also soon to be a movie starring Michael Cera and directed by Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead).
For indie creators, getting booth space was a main concern. I heard artists talking about the challenge of landing a spot in Artist Alley, which seemed to have a handful of empty spaces despite rumors of a waiting list to get in. It's easy to feel snubbed when you see empty tables for the taking, and your only option is to shell out a lot of money for a spot in the small press area that you probably won't recoup before the weekend is over.
Some people took to the con floor as nomads, spreading the word about their books on foot. One of them was Brendan McGinley, the dapper, tuxedo-sporting writer of the Image Shadowline webcomic Hannibal Goes to Rome. Although he didn't have a table, Brendan sold a bunch of copies of his humor anthology, DOSE. It's hard to say no to a gregarious, smartly-dressed guy with a money-back guarantee, especially when what he's selling is really freaking funny. By the end of the weekend, no one had asked for their money back.
Everyone at the con also seemed to be watching the Watchmen. I saw maybe a dozen Rorschach cosplayers, and free reprints of the first issue were lying everywhere. All the vendors at the con were pushing the Watchmen graphic novel and various movie companion books. The only book I saw more of was that ubiquitous Obama/Spider-Man crossover. If you don't have it, don't bother. It's not good, but it was selling at anywhere from 4 bucks to 20.
Webcomics were also huge at NYCC. DC's web imprint, ZudaComics, set up shop in a corner of the huge DC booth. Past winners of the Zuda competition, who all have graphic novels coming out soon, rotated through the booth all weekend and drew a good-sized crowd. Dumbrella, home of original webcomics like R. Stevens' Diesel Sweeties and Meredith Gran's Octopus Pie, also had a hobo-themed booth, complete with flaming trashcan. Despite their recession-inspired styling, the Dumbrella guys did seem to be moving a lot of books and tees. Forget the JMS no-show, this is the real biggest story of NYCC '09: keep an eye on web-based comic distribution this year. I have a feeling that the shift to reading even mainstream books online starts now.
R.I.P. The Cramps' Lux Interior
It has just been confirmed that Lux Interior, lead singer of the legendary NYC punk rock band The Cramps, has died in in Glendale, California this afternoon. He was 60 years old. Lux Interior and his wife Poison Ivy founded the band in 1976, which became an integral part of the emerging punk scene in the 1970s, and had a profound influence on garage punk and rockabilly. The following statement has been released on behalf of the singer's loved ones:
Lux Interior, lead singer of The Cramps, passed away this morning due to an existing heart condition at Glendale Memorial Hospital in Glendale, California at 4:30 AM PST today. Lux has been an inspiration and influence to millions of artists and fans around the world. He and wife Poison Ivy’s contributions with The Cramps have had an immeasurable impact on modern music.
The Cramps emerged from the original New York punk scene of CBGB and Max’s Kansas City, with a singular sound and iconography. Their distinct take on rockabilly and surf along with their midnight movie imagery reminded us all just how exciting, dangerous, vital and sexy rock and roll should be and has spawned entire subcultures. Lux was a fearless frontman who transformed every stage he stepped on into a place of passion, abandon, and true freedom. He is a rare icon who will be missed dearly.
The family requests that you respect their privacy during this difficult time.
Playlist: R.I.P. Lux Interior
John Joseph Spoken Word and Cro-Mags Tour Dates Announced
New York hardcore icon John Joseph is set to appear in five East Coast cities for his 'Play the Wall' spoken word in February, the singer/writer/hustler announced recently. The Cro-Mags frontman published a stellar 428-page autobiography last year, telling stories of an abusive childhood in foster homes, growing up on the unforgiving streets of NYC, peddling fake acid at rock shows, Hare Krishna scams (Retarded Wheelchair Santa without a doubt being the most outrageous), working as a roadie for notorious DC punk/reggae band Bad Brains, and of course all things good, bad, and ugly about fronting what is arguably the most influential hardcore band of all time. A charismatic story-teller, JJ has been known to share with his audience some of the wildest excerpts from his book, The Evolution of a Cro-Magnon (available through PUNKHOuse), so if you think you know anything about NYHC don't sleep on this.
The Cro-Mags have gained a cult following ever since the release of their record The Age of Quarrel in '86, and paved the way for countless hardcore and metal bands over the years. More than a dozen line-up changes and one of hardcore's longest-lasting feuds later, an all-star incarnation of the Cro-Mags is scheduled to tear up Europe in March, supported by Strength Approach from Italy. The latest line-up consists of former Cro-Mags drummer ('82-'86) Mackie Jayson, Sick Of It All's bassist Craig Setari, A.J. Novello from Leeway playing guitar, and John Joseph on vocals.
Lastly, JJ doesn't like to waste any time, and in between writing vegetarian cookbooks and movie scripts will return to Europe with his band Bloodclot! (featuring members of Biohazard, Merauder and Pro-Pain) this Summer. Hellfest has confirmed that the NYC-based band will be playing alongside '80s heavy metal band Manowar(!), the legendary Pentagram, Kansas City hardcore/metal formation Coalesce, grindcore heroes Napalm Death and about a million other awesome bands at this year's edition of the three-day festival in France.
Fuck Off Caroline Kennedy
Senator Hillary Clinton will be the new Secretary of State beginning in January, which means her seat will open up and a new clown must be chosen for the clown car. Hillary was borderline undeserving of the job, but at least she got it by winning an election. She had never actually held office before, but was very involved in the Clinton White House and therefore had some experience. I am a firm believer that Senators should come up the ranks and be established campaigners before taking over the job. I definitely don't think they should get the job because their daddy and uncles are and were Democratic royalty.
Many Democrats are now salivating over the idea of Senator Caroline Kennedy. I mean, what's not to like? Her Dad was killed while he served as president, her uncle was killed while running for president and her other uncle is a still-alive senator. She has never served in office, never been elected, but her family has been all up in that shit, so why not give it to her? Like a gift. Sort of a present for having an awesome last name.
Ah, but you say, she's a very intelligent woman. "Word," I say back, because I am trapped in 1987. She is intelligent. She graduated from Harvard and has a law degree from Columbia. I'm sure it was difficult for her to get in to those schools. She has written books on constitutional law, which is always what one should look for in a politician. Writers are usually great with people. And there's more from her wiki page.
Kennedy is currently President of the Kennedy Library Foundation, a director of both the Commission on Presidential Debates and the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, and Honorary Chairman of the American Ballet Theatre. She is also an adviser to the Harvard Institute of Politics, a living memorial to her father.
Well, anyone who can help put together a debate and the ballet is ready to take over one of the most important jobs in our country. Kennedy is known for avoiding the spotlight and not wanting to be in the public eye. She should be great on the campaign trail. Close your eyes and imagine shytown taking on Rudy Giuliani in 2010. That's the first time she'd have to square off against an opponent. Following that, she'd have to run again in 2012, for a six-year term. New York Senate race: Not the time to learn.
Many are saying New York governor Paterson should choose a woman, because Hillary was a woman. I think it would be better if he just chose the best candidate, but that's me. I am a lunatic. On the woman front, there are other candidates far more qualified than the princess. Rep. Carolyn Maloney and Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand are two women deserving of the senate nod.
There are also a boatload of men (I like my men in boatloads). Attorney General Andrew Cuomo; Congressman Brian Higgins of Buffalo; William Thompson, the city comptroller; and Adolfo Carrion, Bronx borough president. I would prefer guy-who-was-not-convicted-of-anything Eliot Spitzer, but that will obviously never happen.
The pressure on Paterson to pick a Kennedy will be enormous. People just love the idea of a Kennedy, no matter how undeserving and untested that Kennedy may be. Selecting Caroline Kennedy is nothing more than a slap in the face to the idea of America. Without the name, she's just another rich woman from New York, unworthy of the position.
A family member told The Post that a second Kennedy in the Senate is a "strong possibility."
Oh, good. She's just what the Senate needs right now; another Senator who is beholden to special interests and her fellow entitled politicians, rather than the people of New York. God forbid she actually earn it.
FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.
Harsh Light of Day: Basket Case
This week in Harsh Light of Day, we take a look at one of the last great grindhouse films. No, I'm not talking about Tarantino and that Spy Kids guy. Instead we're examining a little-known film from 1982 called Basket Case.
Basket Case is the heartwarming tale of Dwayne Bradley and his ex-conjoined twin brother Belial, tracking down and brutally slaughtering the doctors responsible for their separation eight years prior. Dwayne carries his deformed brother around (henceforth known as "Halfy", because it sounds more fun that "Belial") in a giant wicker pic-a-nic basket, resulting in both the movie's title and padding the somewhat meager script, as shown below:
Now, I'll be honest with you. I watch (and own) quite a few bad films. I'm not talking bad like say, Glitter (I mean, Jesus, I'm no masochist), but say, more along the lines of no-budget classics like the one we're discussing this week. The reason why I love them so much are exactly the things that work against them to make them "bad" or "crap" or "mind-rotting garbage dumps" to most folks - the lack of Hollywood production values, the sub-par acting, the crappy scripts, the ... shall we say, "inventive" use of scenery and props, etc. I love these things for all the reasons I shouldn't, because it strips away all the unnecessary crap and holds someone's complete and utter failure up for the world to judge - and that takes balls, folks.
Anyway, Basket Case is a prime example of this, and by most accounts, it's pretty bad. In spite of all that's working against it, it transcends mere "B-movie" status and rockets right into the "cult classic" section of your video store. There are a few theories as to why - the campy acting, the bad visual effects, the marvelous tits of Terri Susan Smith - but really, Basket Case earns its cult status simply because the concept is so fucking odd. Former conjoined twins go on a low-budget murder spree? Oh, and did I mention that they communicate by telepathy? As far as B-grade horror comedies go, I think that qualifies as "high-concept", don't you?
Go ahead and stick Basket Case in your Netflix queue. Just like my wife, I promise you'll be disappointed - but in the best possible way.
MisterSatan is writing these fucking things in between playing too much Splinter Cell and collecting unemployment. If you've got a suggestion for him, go ahead and leave a comment in his journal if you're not already on his ignore list.
Scott Ian's Food Coma: One Hell of a Culinary Town
Bon Scott once said, Hell aint a bad place to be. I couldnt agree more as my adopted city turns into a Rammstein video shoot. Los Angeles is burning, San Diego is burnt and its snowing Malibu ash. Serious shit for this town. Yes, what was an arsonists wet-dream of a week was the top story across the board, barely beating out Marie Osmond passing out because shes crazy.
Ive been in Los Angeles for 18 years now and I know Ive developed a disaster callous because driving on a freeway next to a hillside in flames is just interesting enough to get me to stop typing on my iPhone (yes, I am THAT GUY or that gay. Either one works.)
I do love this city and I wouldnt want to live anywhere else. Im a New Yorker that would rather live in La La Land than back in the old neighborhood. Fuck the old neighborhood. Small-minded bitter assholes hanging out in dank, old-man bars, drinking from their mugs of sadness and failure as life passes them by. Im not judging, maybe Im stereotyping a bit, but Ive been there. It smells bad.
I come from a New York that doesnt exist any more so theres not much for me to miss. I used to miss the restaurants
Ah, now hes getting to the point of all this. Were you worried it was going to be like an episode of John From Cincinnati (like you watched that piece of crap) where nothing happens and nothing makes sense yet you still come back every week because its Milch and he did Deadwood and you hope something will crack and the only thing that ends up cracking is your head against the wall in frustration? That was me.
So the point is, I used to miss the food. Used to. New York used to lord over Los Angeles as a culinary town but not any more. Some people will disagree with me on this so I will fight them. Fight them with words. Really fancy words like Sous-Vide, and Affinage, and Amuse Bouche, and Rape, (the vegetable not the assault, look it up.)
Me being more akin to the lowbrow, Ill spell it out this way; I just fucking love food and in the last five years Los Angeles has become a premier dining city and thats what Im guhna fuhkin write about if dats OK wit yous.
Editor's Note: Scott Ian plays guitar for revolutionary metal band Anthrax and also for Pearl, on tour now in the UK. SuicideGirls is proud to welcome him as a columnist. Now throw up them horns
Artwork credit: Shepard Fairey
Martin Atkins' Tour:Smart: New Yorkers Eat Their Young
A crazy week for sure. I cannot start dishing out information without mentioning the passing of bassist, artist and my bandmate Paul Raven. He was a charming, driven pirate and, maaaaan, he is so very sadly missed. Thanks to the staff at the amazing Lancaster Arts Hotel in Lancaster PA for making a couple of unbearable days more bearable, for the good wishes from everyone that have left messages on various sites and to David in DC for hanging with me through a chunk of it. My thoughts are with the family and anyone touched by his bright bright light.
This week we are looking at the pay to play scenario that is across much of the US right now. Its pretty horrible and designed by promoters to make sure that they can turn a profit and stay in business even if all of the shitty bands that play dont have much of an audience. There is a very sad by-product of all of this audiences show their support for band #4 by arriving just in time to see band #4 but by also leaving just before the start of band #5. I understand this it makes sense BUT it robs these bands of the ability to play to each others audience, it robs the audience of being exposed to other bands that might surprise them (yeah I know not always in a good way) but it also robs the band members themselves of playing in front of their peers thats a pretty good adrenalin shot wasted... and, if you accept the idea that sometimes its easier to learn what NOT to do by watching a terrible horrible band, drummer whatever then all of the above are robbed of a valuable experience. All of this is pretty easy (I think) to circumvent but, alas, it involves effort, thought, reaching across barriers and work work work... heres something from Chvad SB who plays in the Brooklyn based punk-industrial band THINGS OUTSIDE THE SKIN about the NYC experience...
So you're in a band and you think you're ready for NYC? Here's what you can expect. According to Martin's new book, "TOUR:SMART" there are anywhere from 741 to 1235 bands playing in New York City every week. As I'm writing this, on a Friday evening, there are 374 bands playing in NYC (according to http://www.going.com) and that isn't even tapping into the plethora of shows that didn't bother to post on the site. There's FIERCE competition in NYC and in response to that, a lot of promoters create nothing more than what I like to call "meat grinder events". Every club in NYC wants a party every night of the week and they want people buying drinks ALL NIGHT. BRING IN THE BANDS! When you come to play a show in NYC one of the first things to expect is no money. It's common practice in NYC for promoters to only pay you IF you bring in at least 10 to 15 paying customers that ask specifically for your band. Bring in 15 or more, you get half the door amount for those patrons. Bring in 14. NOTHING. Did I mention you're also playing with anywhere from 6 to 9 other acts on the same night? Now the promoter can call it a FESTIVAL and thus a PARTY. Great right? You're gonna have a TON of people there to see you rock the fuck out right? Wrong, wrong wrong. Here's how NYC rolls, Band #1 brings in 15 of their friends to see them play. Band #1 finishes. Band #1 leaves. Friends of Band #1 leave. Band #2? Rinse and Repeat. The people you bring are the ONLY people that will be there to see you play. Some people would like to accuse all the others acts on the bill for being total asses for not hanging out and supporting the other bands. Honestly, 75% of the time you'd probably be right but even if all the bands wanted to stay and party the whole fucking night with you THEY CAN'T. This is NYC and space is something you find between people ears but NOT in clubs. 10 bands worth of gear won't fit in most small clubs so when you're done playing, you need to get the fuck off the stage and out of the club. Most promoters won't even allow bands to load in more than an hour before they are supposed to be on stage. There's no room. The club and promoter make out great though. Every band brings in a few people, 8 out of the ten bands won't break 15 people because everyone they know is out at one of the other 374 shows going on in the city that night. Meanwhile the promoter keeps most of the door and the club gets all of the bar. You can make money with merchandise right? You can't sell merch because there isn't any room for merch and if there is room, it'll be in the part of the club that everyone avoids because it smells like shit and piss. Literally. Sounds pretty bad right? It can be. How can it all be avoided? COMMUNITY. Contact the bands on the bill that play directly before AND after you. Trade promotional materials and share your audience. Hang out a LITTLE longer before the next band arrives, share gear if possible and there's more room for everyone (the promoter can't kick out as quick either if that's your amp on the stage). 45 people drunk off their asses trying to dance through your set is a hell of a lot cooler than your 15 buddies from work (no offense to work buddies of the world). Hell, some of them might even like your stuff. Wanna survive in NYC? Know people! Make friends on message boards, call bands, whatever. just know this: If you don't know anyone in NYC when you play, stay the fuck out. New Yorkers eat their young.
-Chvad SB plays in the Brooklyn based punk-industrial band THINGS OUTSIDE THE SKIN (www.outside-the-skin.com) and runs the dark music community http://www.darksonus.com.
Upcoming Dates for TOUR:SMART Book Tour:
Sunday, October 28th, @ Melody Inn (Indianapolis, IN)
Free Tour:Smart Band Seminar - 5:30pm
2-Hour seminar and info session, Also will be doing some DJ sets during the show at Melody Inn that night that begins at 9:00pm.
Monday, November 5th @ Gelato Vero Café (San Diego, CA)
Free Tour:Smart Band Seminar - 6:00pm
Monday, November 12th @ Canopy Club (Champaign, IL)
Free Tour:Smart Band Seminar - 6:00pm
Thursday, November 15th @ Eide's Records (Pittsburgh, PA)
Free Tour:Smart Band Seminar - 4:00pm
Friday, November 16th @ Erie Art Museum Annex (Erie, PA)
Free Tour:Smart Band Seminar - 7:00pm
Friday, November 16th @ The Beer Mug (Erie, PA)
DJ Set at the Pegasus Unicorn show - 11:30pm
(Check out one of the first Tour:Smart columns for the Pegasus Unicorn case study!)
Saturday, November 17th @ Harris Institute (Toronto, ON)
Tour:Smart band seminar - advance tickets are $4 - 12:00pm
Saturday, November 17th @ Velvet Underground (Toronto, ON)
Tour:Smart Band Seminar - 5:00pm
Advance tickets $4 through www.ticketweb.ca, or at Rotate This, and Circus Books & Music
Also providing DJ sets beginning at 11pm - admission covers entire event including DJ night.
Wil Wheaton's Geek in Review: Carded.
My wife and I are both in our mid-thirties. We have two kids, one of whom is in college, but we must look young, because we still get carded in restaurants, bars, and even at the market. It happens so frequently, weve made it into a contest, to see who can get carded most often, and in the most unlikely circumstances.
This last weekend, I pulled ahead in our contest, when I was carded at the mall, while attempting to buy a video game.
Wait. I said to the cashier. Youre carding me for a video game?
Yeah, he said, Its an M-rated game. I have to.
Im 35, I said. This is hilarious.
Im sorry, but my manager is standing right there, so . . . he said.
Well, I dont want to be a dick, and I dont want to get you into any trouble. I said. I reached into my wallet and handed him my ID. But isnt this sort of lame?
The manager nodded. Its the stupidest thing in the world, and its all because of the Grand Theft Auto thing.
Hot Coffee, right? I said.
The cashier handed me back my ID, and turned around to get my game out of the Big Drawer of Games We Don't Want People To Steal.
Did it strike you guys as a little weird that parents groups and politicians were totally fine with the violence and criminal behavior in GTA, but as soon as their precious little children who shouldnt have been playing the game in the first place could see some crappy simulated sex, they lost their fucking minds?
They both laughed. It was clear that this was a regular topic of conversation in the store, among employees and customers alike.
A young couple walked up to the cash register next to me. The guy excitedly held a copy of Madden in his hand, while the girl clearly a long-suffering Xbox Widow patiently waited with him.
I mean, I continued, dont they know that their precious little children have access to far more explicit sexual material online? Theyre worried about a simulated polygonal sex act while little Timmy can get all the bukkake he wants with three clicks?
The guy next to me stifled a laugh as the manager finished ringing them up.
As they walked out of the store, the girl said, Whats bukkake?
The three of us at the counter didn't try to stifle our collective laugh.
Thats not even the worst part, the manager said to me. Check this out: if I sold a minor alcohol, Id get about a $300 misdemeanor fine. But theyre trying to pass a law in New York and here in California that would make it a $1500 fine and a felony for me to sell this game, he held up the game I was buying, Dead Rising, to the same kid.
Thats fucking retarded, I said. Laws like that have already been struck down in Louisiana, Oklahoma, Michigan, and Illinois!
Oh, we know, he said, but thats not stopping them from trying in pretty much every state.
Thank you Jack Thompson, I said.
The cashier laughed. That guys an idiot.
And get this, the manager said, if a kid comes in here and tries to buy an M-rated game, we have to tell him that he has to come back with a parent, but when he comes back with a parent, I cant sell the game to the parent, because hes going to give it to the minor.
What?
Yeah, he said, try to figure out the logic there.
He handed my game to the cashier, who put it into a bag while I signed my credit card slip, no doubt joining a long list of potentially dangerous future criminals who will one day go on a zombie-killing rampage across the country, armed with hockey sticks, pie plates, and cash registers. I held my breath, and wondered if anyone would read the Minority Report.
Well, I said, as I put my wallet back into my pocket and picked my subversive contraband, thanks for being our nations eleventh line of defense against children with parents who arent involved enough in their lives to pay attention to ratings and decide whats appropriate for them.
When I got home, I had my staff send me some Internets with information about this proposed New York law. What I read was chilling:
The latest bill proposed in New York would actually make selling or renting a game to a minor which has "depraved violence and indecent images" a class E felony. What is that exactly in prison time? According to New York penal law, "For a class E felony, the term shall be fixed by the court, and shall not exceed four years." However, it must be over one year imprisonment to be considered class E. But wait, it gets better. "Depraved" is defined by the bill as anything showing "rape, dismemberment, physical torture, mutilation or evisceration of a human being." So, many M rated games would fall under this category. Boiled all the way down, this new law would have a kid working at Gamestop, Best Buy, or the local Blockbuster potentially get sent to OZ for 1 - 4 years because he sold or rented a minor an M rated video game. With politicians like these, who needs Jack Thompson?
Do these politicians even know what theyre doing, anymore? Or are they so busy pandering to the authoritarian nanny-staters that theyve lost their collective minds? Its bad enough that they think video games are as harmful to minors as alcohol abuse, but they actually want to put people in fucking jail for up to four years for selling a game? The only thing that surprises me, to be honest, is that I havent heard any of these opportunists invoke 9/11 (9/11! 9/11! 9/11!) as some justification for this insanity.
Look, Im a parent, and I am also a gamer, so I know what my kids are playing, and when they're playing it. I also know that there are thousands of parents who arent gamers, who rely on ratings to know whats appropriate for their children. I also fully support retailers not selling M titles to children, the same way I support movie theaters not selling tickets for rated R films to minors. But making it a felony to do so? Thats outrageous.
It's especially stupid and wasteful, too, since it will most likely be struck down in New York like it has been everywhere else, because, according to common sense and the judge who granted a preliminary injunction against the effort in California:
The evidence does not establish that video games, because of their interactive nature or otherwise, are any more harmful than violent television, movies, internet sites or other speech-related exposures.
Although some reputable professional individuals and organizations have expressed particular concern about the interactive nature of video games, there is no generally-accepted study that supports that concern. There has also been no detailed study to differentiate between the effects of violent videos on minors of different ages.
The court, although sympathetic to what the legislature sought to do by the Act, finds that the evidence does not establish the required nexus between the legislative concerns about the well-being of minors and the restrictions on speech required by the Act.
There are real problems facing children in America, like underfunded, overcrowded schools, a criminal lack of health insurance, abusive parents, and Hannah Montana. If lawmakers are really going to try to protect the children, they should stop wasting their time and our money pandering to those who think video games are the new heavy metal music.
Wil Wheaton has a warm, secret, fuzzy heart. In a box under his bed.
The Rime of the Modern Mariner: Sublime or Substandard?
By now you've all probably heard about Duke Riley, the self-proclaimed "artist and patriot" who was arrested Friday for floating his replica of a Revolutionary War-era submarine in restricted New York waters near the Queen Mary 2. The Village Voice correctly identified it as hipster-shenanigans almost immediately.
Some times the news in New York City is just so astounding that you don't know what to make of it. The details of this one should be interesting. The cops are saying it wasn't terrorism. Our money is on hipsters.
Apparently Riley was attempting to get videotape of his "Turtle" sub against the QM2 for one of his upcoming shows.
Rileyco-founder and tattooist at Brooklyn's Cherry Bomb Tattoois getting a lot of shit for the project, with various newspaper headlines calling him a "Sub Moron" and claiming that he has "Sub-Standard Brains."
On the morning after his arrest in New York Harbor, the skipper of a ramshackle replica of a Revolutionary War-era, wooden hulled submarine found himself splashed across the city's front pages Saturday in less than flattering terms.
"SUB MORON," declared the New York Post. Not to be outdone, the Daily News announced: "SUB-STANDARD BRAINS."
Seeing as how this is the best the writers at these papers can come up with, it makes sense that they lack an appreciation for creativity and adventurousness. I'm not saying that Riley, 35-year-old graduate of the Rhode Island School of Design and Pratt Institute, and his crew couldn't have improved upon their planjust get a freakin' permit, dudebut the condemnation and derision Riley has been treated with is totally uncalled for.
At least the voices of reason over at Wonkette appreciated the stunt.
Legal Loophole Saves 170 New Yorkers Gay Marriages
Its stuff like this that makes me love being a lawyer. Love it in like
a totally gay way.
The marriages of more than 170 gay couples from New York who wed in Massachusetts before last July are valid because New York had not yet explicitly banned same-sex marriages, a Massachusetts judge ruled.
Couples are barred from marrying in Massachusetts if their marriages would be prohibited in their home states. The New York Court of Appeals ruled against same-sex marriages on July 6, 2006.
Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders had asked for clarification of the status of New York couples who married in Massachusetts before that ruling. Massachusetts became the first state in the country to allow gay marriage in May 2004.
Suffolk Superior Court Judge Thomas Connolly ruled last week that those early marriages are legally valid.
To truly understand how swank this was, it may take some (pardon the term) unpacking. First of all, as we all know, Massachusetts is the only state in the union to allow gay marriage. This is as a result of the landmark Massachusetts Supreme Court case of Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, 440 Mass. 309 (2003). In that case, the Massachusetts Supes found that the state Constitution mandated that all citizens be treated equally, and that from now on they should be. Sounds pretty simple. And really, it is.
But what of gay couples from other states who wished to be married in Massachusetts? Not so fast, said then-Governor Mitt Romney. Romney instructed his state employees not to issue marriage licenses to any couples who werent currently living in the Bay State. This policy was challenged. In Cote-Whitacre v. Dept. of Public Health, 446 Mass. 350 (2006), the MA Supreme Court ruled that Romneys policy was constitutional, with a big, big caveat. Namely, that gay couples from states with no express prohibition against same-sex marriage could legally be married in Massachusetts. At the time the opinion was handed down, there was no express prohibition against same-sex marriages in New York, so Massachusetts state employees proceeded to marry any New York couples that applied for a license.
Of course, the New York Court of Appeals (their highest court), then turned around two months later and vomited out Hernandez v. Robles, which ruled that gays have the equal right to marry someone of the opposite sex and no equal right to marry the person of their choosing. Thus, Massachusetts stopped issuing marriage licenses to gay Empire State couples.
But what happened to those marriages that were already performed? Doesnt the Defense of Marriage Act preclude one state from recognizing gay marriages performed in another state?
The answer: No. Lets look at the text of DOMA, with some emphasis of my own.
No State, territory, or possession of the United States, or Indian tribe, shall be required to give effect to any public act, record, or judicial proceeding of any other State, territory, possession, or tribe respecting a relationship between persons of the same sex that is treated as a marriage under the laws of such other State, territory, possession, or tribe, or a right or claim arising from such relationship.'.
In other words, no state is required to give effect to gay marriages performed in other states, but that does not prevent a state like New York from recognizing such marriages if they chose to. Which is exactly what New York has made it clear they will do. Returning to the original article:
A spokesman for New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo indicated that his office considers the marriages at issue valid.
[
]
Susan Sommer, senior counsel for Lambda Legal, a New York-based gay rights organization, said New York common law has held that as long as a marriage is valid where it is performed, it will be respected in New York.
As the marriages were valid when they were performed, New York common law would recognize them as presently valid marriages.
Now, is this a big deal in the grand scheme of things? No. New York (along with almost every other state) still refuses to extend basic civil rights to its citizenry. That wont change without a long, protracted struggle. I am confident that battle will be won someday, but that day was not today.
However, for those 170 couples, its a huge, huge deal. Today, for the first time, they can say that they are legally married in the eyes of their home state. It must feel like their wedding day all over again. Cheers to that, and cheers to this happy little legal loophole.
New York Event for Reproductive Rights
For readers in New York, here's a kick-ass event going on this evening.
The US Supreme Court and the South Dakota abortion ban:
Organizing for Reproductive Justice
Speakers:
Nancy Goldstein is Director of Communications and Development for National Advocates for Pregnant Women and co-editor of The Gender Politics of HIV in Women (NYU Press, 1997)
Cari Sietstra is the founder of Law Students for Choice and a South Dakota native. She returned to organize against the states comprehensive abortion ban.
Thursday May 10th 2007
7:00 PM
Bluestockings Bookstore
172 Allen Street
(between Stanton and Rivington Streets in Manhattan: take F train to 2nd Avenue or J/M/Z to Essex/Delancy)
Organized by Solidarity
For more information email Chloe.Tribich@gmail.com
Bitch_PhD recommends this--Nancy Goldstein is a kick-ass speaker and a very cool chick.
Brooklyn State Senator Wants Ipod Ban
Given the tumultuous political climate in which we're living, with a host of problems facing the nation, it's good to know that politicians are keeping their priorities in order and only spending their valuable time and taxpayer money tackling the major issues of the day. Like New York state senator Carl Kruger (D-NY) who represents part of Brooklyn, a New York City borough facing the challenges of gentrification, rising housing costs, pollution by ExxonMobil and a new stadium forcing out residents. Given all of these enormous issues to deal with Kruger has chosen one that clearly trumps them all; the menace of Ipods threatening pedestrian safety.
The senator said forcing pedestrians to face court and pay the fine would make them realise the "potentially deadly dangers that lurk outside the 'deceptive serenity' of your iPod".
"When they're tuning into their iPod or Blackberry or cell phone or video game, they're walking into speeding buses and moving automobiles," he said. "It's becoming a nationwide problem."
Mr Kruger says it was impossible for people to be aware of their surroundings when distracted by gadgets.
"Tuning in and tuning out can be a fatal combination on the streets of New York," he said.
The senator, who prides himself on his tough-on-crime policies, told Reuters news agency it was the government's responsibility to protect its citizens from a major "public safety crisis".
Kruger may or may not be aware of this already, but portable music listening devices have been commercially available and popular for almost thirty years. And despite the obvious dangers they pose to the citizenry of all cities, but a crowded one like New York City especially, the vast majority of pedestrians go through their day without being run over. Most states have made the operation of a motor vehicle while listening to headphones an illegal activity, and with good reason - a motorist who is willfully oblivious of his or her surroundings is a serious danger to public safety. A pedestrian listening to an Ipod, talking on a cellphone or otherwise tuning out the outside world is a danger as well, but only to himself or herself, and so bans on trans fats notwithstanding, it would appear to be beyond the purview of the state government to decide whether one can choose to act recklessly by preferring to listen to music rather than oncoming traffic. However, rulings elsewhere on issues like mandatory seatbelt laws, which are similar in theory in that they exist solely to protect individuals from themselves, have upheld the right of the state to make some decisions about safety for people, so a legal challenge (if the bill passes) could fail on ideological grounds.
In totally unrelated news, cigarette smoking remains completely legal in New York city.
Fat and Gross New York Decides To Punish Taste
New York has launched a brutal war against taste. Today health authorities decided to ban restaurants from using trans fats in a pathetic attempt to improve the health of their fat citizens. Its the first ban on trans fats in the US and a hateful blow against cakes.
Restaurants have just 18 months to stop using the oil or presumably they will be burned to the ground and the employees murdered with hatchets. The City Health Commissioner claims residents wanted the ban, except for Jimmy Pie Gusseppi.
The main sources of trans fats are cakes, cookies, crackers, pies, bread, and margarine. The US Food and Drug Administration claims trans fat raises the level of "bad" cholesterol in the blood and increases the risk of heart attacks and other fat guy problems. 20% of Americans are currently obese.
Mayor Bloomberg was fired up about the decision that will make cookies taste like wood.
"We are trying to make that food safer and if you can do it without trans fats, you'll save... a couple of hundred lives a year in New York City.
Whatever, hippie. Sadly New York isnt the only place for this horrible trend. In October KFC announced it would switch to a more healthy oil without trans fats. And the Colonel cried in his casket.
Fantagraphics Celebrates 30 Years
It's hard to believe Fantagraphics has been around for thirty years, setting a standard for independent comics by producing and anthologizing the best by indie comics artists such as Dan Clowes, R. Crumb, Chris Ware, Dame Darcy, Tony Millionaire, Jim Woodring, Charles Burns and more. Aside from indulging in the bountiful catalog, visitors to New York can also check out an exhibit at the Society of Illustrators NYC running until October 21st of original pieces by Fantagraphics' esteemed roster. The Society of Illustrators is located at 128 E. 63rd St, is open Tuesday-Saturday, and is free to visit.
Artwork by Dan Clowes
Hat tip to DART.
Fred Flare's Flair
Cute is not a word to be afraid of, especially when coupled with fun and good design. Fred Flare master the art of cute with their adorable, quirky online shopping site based out of Brooklyn, NY. The collection is charmingly curated by the designers behind the wonder store to offer unique clothing, accessories, paper goods and more for the every day adult who still enjoy having some young fun. Here are some favorites:
Paint By Number Pony tee
iPod DJ Station
Banana cel phone holder
Amy Sedaris' Pop Tart pouch
But the Fred Flare experience doesn't exclusively involve your wallet; be sure to browse the site's many facets: the diary, the music and check out the super-cute Fred Flare variety show on YouTube.
Needled News: Marisa DiMattia's Tattoo Revue
A little over a year ago, when I tagged Needled.com Highbrow for the underground, it was still very tongue-in-cheek. While almost one in four Americans are tattooed, that 24% has rarely been considered jet set unless theyre on MTV. A trip to Vuitton with my tattooed brethren left sales people asking what band we were in -- but only after all items were paid for. Stereotypes of the tattooed as wild and free still remain, and I have been disappointing people for many years now with my mundane daily life, even on my highbrow holidays.
But the times they are a-changin'. This week's tattoo news had a particular upper crust edge. Perfect example: New York Magazines Q&A with the dark lord of tattooing, Paul Booth, entitled Luxury Tattooing. With Booth moving his East Village street shop to an appointment-only atelier in a Chelsea gallery space, the article used this news peg to look at the movement of tattoo culture into the mainstream and even high society; for example, Booth's invitation to join the prestigious National Arts Club, his celebrity clientele, and his high fees (If price is an object, youre in the wrong place.) spoke more to the elite than the underground.
The article also made the point that tattooing is gaining wider acceptance as a fine art. You see it with tattoo exhibits in museums worldwide, but whats interesting is how many curators have moved beyond the prehistory of tattooing to presenting works of modern tattoo culture, including paintings and other artwork of tattoo artists. Just this Sunday, a new exhibition opened in North Carolinas Asheville Art Museum called Under the Skin, which features the work of today's leading tattoo artists, on skin and on canvas, such as Don Ed Hardy, his lithograph, Mondrians Girlfriend, shown below.
Speaking of, Don Ed Hardy is a perfect example of tattoo art gone upscale. Since the tattoo master sold the rights to some of his designs to designer Christian Audigier, the bods of Hollywoods A-list have become decorated with old school Americana and Japanese Hardy designs--pain free. The Don Ed Hardy line has become as ubiquitous as Von Dutch, another brand of Audigier, and stores are popping up all over the world. In New York's now-chic Meat Packing District, an Ed Hardy store just opened last Thursday, the first in the city. The location is almost a metaphor for the tattoo "trend": the hood was once tough, seedy, and exotic but is now populated with art galleries, ladies who lunch, and velvet ropes. Comparing the Hardy brand to the nearby Alexander McQueen store, Raelyn Hennessee, East Coast manager of the Hardy stores, said "You feel comfortable spending $140 on a shirt because youre comfortable buying it
but youre still wearing couture." How many outlaw bikers say that?
Indeed, tattoo couture is being used to hawk other luxuries like million-dollar condos in Manhattan, with ads showing a topless blonde socialite getting custom tattoo work in the privacy of her luxury abode or perhaps it's the other way around: Noting the financial success of Booth and Hardy, it could be tattooists populating the West Side high rise. Either way, nothing says fancy more than scoring a backpiece alongside river views -- or, say, on your private jet, although the logistics of the latter seem rather turbulent to me.
With all this swank, the wild child cliché gets chipped away. Let's face it. How hardcore can we tattooed folk be when Forbes magazine offers aftercare advice, Armani models sport half sleeves, TV design shows makeover tattoo parlors, tattooers design labels for wineries, and lawyers write tattoo revues.
Marisa DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture, which includes profiles on tattoo artists, news, book reviews, event listings, and shopping guides.
Join The Art Parade
Deitch Projects, reknown, cutting-edge NYC SoHo gallery/performance space, is placing an open call to all artists and performers to submit their proposals to be a part of their second annual Art Parade.
The parade will take place on Saturday September 9, at 4PM, on West Broadway. Following the success of last years inaugural event, artists, performers and designers are being invited to create floats, placards, portable sculptures, kites, performances and street spectacles. In addition to invited artists there will also be an open call for parade projects. Potential participants are asked to submit their proposals to artparade @ deitch.com
Photo Location: "Rappers Delight" train by Matthew Rodriguez
Vote For Evil in 06!
Kathleen Troia McFarland is a Republican candidate who is trying to dislodge Hillary Rodham Clinton from her seat in the US Senate. McFarland was a Pentagon official during the Reagan years and is competing with ex-Yonkers Mayor John Spencer in the GOP primary. Today McFarland is scheduled to host her first major fundraiser of the campaign, a $1,000-per-ticket reception with well-known military members from the Reagan era attending.
But McFarland had a bit of a setback yesterday when her own brother called her, Evil. McFarlands campaign has been personal and messy. In June she publicly claimed her father abused her for years.
"I was beaten up, I was whipped with a belt, I was kicked, I was shoved, and my father took a gun to us on a couple of occasions at a very young age.
Her brothers belief that she is Evil stemmed from the accusation that her father was abusive. The brother calls it "A total fabrication."
To complicate matters even more, New York Magazine published letters McFarland had written to her parents years ago in which she blamed them for her brothers death. The letters claimed her parents had encouraged a reckless sexual lifestyle for her gay brother. He died of AIDS in 1995.
No polls have yet been taken to determine if being Evil will help or hurt the McFarland campaign.
Cai Guo-Qiang: Folk Explosion
Gunpowder guru Cai Guo-Qiang does more with fireworks than blow off a digit once in awhile drunk at the beach on Independence Day.
Some of his prolific body of work uses performance of fireworks to create a documentary product: a photograph, a painting, a video, an installation.
Photo Location
In an interview on the subject of his art using the medium of explosives, he states,
I wanted to investigate both the destructive and the constructive nature of gunpowder, and to look at how destructions can create something as well."
Photo Location
Cai Guo-Qiang's site specific work Cai On The Rooftop is currently installed at the Metropolitan Museum's Roof Garden in New York. Clear Sky Black Cloud (pictured below) is being performed every noon, Tuesday through Sunday until October 29th, weather permitting.
Photo Location
Check out Cai Guo-Qiang on Season 3 of PBS's series art:21 (Video excerpts here)
And, how to not make art here .