Thou Shalt Not Stalk: Conan O'Brien and the Creepy Priest
From the New York Post:
The Rev. David Ajemian, 46 -was arrested last Friday while he was in line at 30 Rockefeller Plaza to see a taping of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien."
He was wearing his collar when arrested.
Apparently, he had a message to tell O'Brien that he believed only the TV star would understand, police sources said.
Go easy on the guy. Maybe his message was, "Jesus loves you Conan." Now, we'll never know.
Luckily there are records on The Huffington Post of other messages that Rev. Ajemian (aka Padre009) left for Conan O'Brien on NBC's "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" message boards:
"I'm just a two-bit HACK and I don't even know it!!! My stories and nuttiness are PATHETIC--- why?? Well of course because they DON'T MEAN ANYTHING!!! Compared to THE WRITERS who are---- GOLDEN---- AND---- BEAUTIFUL---- AND---- BELOVED ... Yes the WRITERS---THE WRITERS--- UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!!!! Everything that you witty and crazy and sweet young things could EVER want to know about the world."
Is that from the New Testament or Old Testament? I can never tell the difference.
The Rev claims that he attended Harvard with O'Brien in the 1980s. He began stalking Conan in September of 2006 after their first meeting in Lawrence, Massachusetts at the christening of a church homeless shelter.
Ajemian used to live the same apartment building as Conan and even followed him to Italy.
He then sent a postcard from Italy to the Massachusetts-born comedian - bearing a postmark from the same town O'Brien had just visited, law-enforcement sources said.
That ominous incident - as well as another when the priest showed up in California - sent the investigation into overdrive.
Even though Ajemian used a handle on the NBC message boards he did more balls out stalking by writing to Conan on parish letterhead even calling himself a "priest-stalker":
In one such letter, he wrote, "I should have known that the ties I have to Conan through his parents and hometown church, his alma mater and even his very home mean nothing in a world like ours."
Yeah! In 1 A.D. if you went to college with a television host, he would totally be your best friend. This modern world of not communicating with a harassing and possibly dangerous priest is such bullshit. We're so disconnected as a society. Damn you, iconography!
In another lengthy message from April, written under the letterhead of St. Patrick Parish in Stoneham, Mass., Ajemian told O'Brien, "I'm not [Virginia Tech killer] Seung-Cho, even if I did once look out on that dark and dreaded doorway on West 72nd Street."
There's nothing funny about that one. It just invokes a bone-chilling "I want my mommy" fear deep inside of me.
But before Conan goes and gets a big(ger) head about this whole having his own stalker thing, let it be known that Rev. Ajemian also has a fixation with tennis God John McEnroe.
"John McEnroe assaulted me once in the seventh grade when I wouldn't give up my seat to him," he wrote O'Brien on Feb. 20, according to the criminal complaint.
He then wrote in an another letter that he "once went after my childhood nemesis John McEnroe, too, and am still waiting for his confession as well."
With his career in stalking and celebrity obsession it's a wonder that Rev. Ajemian was even an effective priest before leaving St. Patrick's church in Brookline, Massachusetts in 2007. But it turns out he's a multi-tasker. He can do it all! He can stalk and inspire his parishioners with his creepy sermons about his favorite movie, Casablanca.
A former parishioner from St. Patrick said the congregation is reeling from the arrest of the priest. Still, he said, most of the parish was fond of Ajemian.
"There are many people who are disturbed and in tears," he said.
He said that they often talked about old movies - Ajemian's passion - and that the cleric loved "Casablanca" in particular.
"He'd quote lines. He could tell you what the guy was wearing in a scene," the man recalled.
And no one thought that was a little weird? Just tell everyone the parable about Jesus feeding all of those people with one loaf of bread and let them go home. Stop saying, "Here's looking at you kid." That's creepy.
But before you start fearing for Conan's life, not to worry, it seems like this was all just one big misunderstanding. The Huffington Post provided an update:
The Boston priest busted for stalking Conan O'Brien said yesterday that he hoped that by cozying up to the comic, he'd impress Archdiocese higher-ups and advance his career in the Church.
"I guess I felt I was getting an inspiration to get him to acknowledge me in a way that would promote me as a priest," the Rev. David Ajemian told The Post after he was released on bail.
Phew. I think everyone, including Conan can sleep a little better tonight knowing that Ajemian wasnt stalking, he was networking! And the way this "world like ours" works maybe his charges of stalking in the fourth degree, and two counts of aggravated harassment in the second degree will get him his own reality show.
SleepyLady has just learned that the Reverend checked himself into a hospital tonight. Let's be happy that maybe he'll start to get some help and stay off message boards.
Dear NBC, Thanks For Ruining The Best Show on TV
Up until Friday night, Friday Night Lights was the best show on television. Last season the show was unlike anything ever seen on TV. It was like being invited into a small town in Texas to meet the people who live there. The characters, no matter how flawed, were likeable and had an inherent humanity. No any more.
For those of you who dont know, Friday Night Lights, is based on a best-selling book and film. Both covered a school year in a town where high school football is the peoples religion. The show is about relationships and the simple struggles of life.
It is filmed in a very unique way that allows you to take in the quiet moments of the characters. The camera hangs on the actors longer than is usually allowed on TV. The only other show I recall doing anything remotely similar was the great Homicide: Life On The Street. The actors are not told where to stand and how to look at the camera while they spew their words. Instead, the cameramen are expected to pick up whatever instinctive moves the actors make. The result is refreshing. Or at least it was.
Ive worked was a writer for a long time now and the one thing I can sniff out in a second is bad studio notes. The season opener of Friday Night Lights is clearly a victim of idiot suits who seem to think they understand the creative process. The simplicity of Friday Night Lights is out the window, replaced with over-bearing and unnecessary amounts of conflict, and of course, a killing.
It was very painful to watch. The humanity had been stripped away from the townspeople as they were turned into obvious, cookie cutter TV characters you have seen on so many shows before. Last year, much of the conflict was subtle, or God forbid, internal. Not this year. Now every scene is over-flowing with conflict. Everything has been taken up a notch or ten, which has made the show completely unbelievable.
NBC put a lot of money into promoting the show last year but it never caught fire. It has a strong cult following and critics love it. Networks know one thing: If they promote a show heavily and it does not catch on, then there is something wrong with the show. Never mind that the idiots put a show called Friday Night Lights on Tuesday night. I dont know how that could possibly cause any confusion. So, the suits went to their studio manuals and decide to make the show more "explosive." This way, they can eliminate the audience who already love the show and not bring in any new people because the show will never have enough explosions for the stupids.
One example is the new, retarded plotline of Tyra. Tyra is a bad girl. Last season we watched as she slowly began to tire of her own behavior, change and befriend the town nerd. There was an episode in which she was waiting for him in a diner, but his car had broken down. A man was checking her out. As she left the diner, the man attempted to sexually assault her in the parking lot. The attempt failed, but Tyra was changed forever. We then watched her struggle with internal conflict. So, what to do this season? How about having her attacker inexplicably stalk her in the opening episode? Then her nerd friend can beat the stalker to death with a pipe. Then they dump the body in a river. Sound like weve gone off the small town plot line a bit? Did I mention the nerd is now inexplicably on the football team? You know, the team he made fun of all last season?
Last season we watched the nerd struggle with his place in the world. The actor, Jesse Plemons is awesome and the writing brought an amazing amount of realism to the character, who was obsessed with girls. This season we can watch him unravel as the police try to figure out who killed the rape-guy. Super. I totally relate to that.
This show reeks of being ruined by studio notes.
We need more conflict! Someone has to be in danger!
Really? Because youre just an ex-assistant who doesnt have a creative bone in your body. But, by all means, force you ignorant opinion onto a great show.
Fuck off NBC and fuck off suits.
My Name Is Gladiator... But You Can Call Me Malibu
There was once a time, on this great rock we call Earth, where men settled their differences like men... by battling in giant, rolling, metal cages painted blue and red. Or by clinging from the underside of a metal grate and kicking one another.
Women too, competed in such a fashion. Wielding oversized, leather-covered Q-tips in a effort to knock each other off of literal pedestals. By using a rope to hurl their own bodies against a Gladiator in an attempt to bash him to the ground. By dunking an undersized basketball into a 3-foot high, traffic cone... Ahem. Okay, it wasn't all awesome.
Well, in addition to other, less exciting announcements, it seems that NBC is contemplating bringing back American Gladiators.
Silverman confirmed that he's looking to develop a new take on the campy 1980s franchise "American Gladiators" via his old Reveille banner. Given the success of "Heroes," a reality show with superhero themes seems logical. Exec refused to discuss how the show may fit into NBC's brand, however, dismissing a question about the project by saying, "There's no deal done."
This could be interesting. I liked the original. Packed with insane stunts and super-charged Gladiators like Blaze, Nitro, Zap, Louis* and Diamond... True, I also liked tree-forts, prank-calling neighbors and being 11, but, it might work.
Do they stick with the campy, over-the-top ridiculousness?
Or do they modernize it? I could see them trying to make it more "reality-based." Setting it on a faux, street-corner set. Sending a man down a dark alley where suddenly a muscle-bound behemoth bursts through a wall and the man is forced to defend himself with a lamp post turned baton.
Maybe they could bring back the greatest of all-time, Nitro, as the world-weary veteran who's seen it all, to mentor and train the newest batch of rookie Gladiators.
They'd do well to remember that the best episodes featured a former athlete/marine/ninja who turned the tables on the Gladiators, enraging them at all turns for the entire episode, only to get smited in the end.
And to get rid of "Powerball."
TheCoolerKing is betting you can help shift the "no done deal" part of the story by signing this petition he found. So far they've got 10,261 signatures. Is that a lot?
* I wish there'd been a Gladiator named Louis.
9 Reasons Why The Offices John Krasinski Would Choose to Star in a Robin Williams Movie
John Krasinski is a super-talented, hilarious actor at probably the peak of his career. He stars on an ultra-funny, critically acclaimed NBC sitcom. The one that isnt "30 Rock." Hes also quite the looker, if the majority of women in this country are to be believed.
I state all this to show that John has his pick of just about any project on Earth
and yet, here he is, risking it all to star in a Robin Williams movie. License To Wed will do more harm to the institution of marriage than any 50 gay unions. (Cue Robin Williams gay voice) Oh, and if youre in a fight with your eyes and ears, be sure to check out the trailer.
This choice is mind-bogglingly hard to fathom. And so, Im examining every possible angle, no matter how preposterous, in order to get to the bottom of his decision. I will also post odds on each potential reason.
9) Robin Williams is a hilarious, genius-level comic and it would be an honor to star in a movie with him.
No. See above no matter how preposterous. ODDS: 10,000-1
8) John Krasinski thinks Robin Williams is funny.
Seems unlikely. As I stated earlier, Johns funny. Funny usually recognizes other funny. If he were some sort of broad, physical, comic or even an obnoxious impressions, type performer, I could see there being a blind spot. However his comedy runs towards the subtle, clever," variety and he seems fairly savvy. ODDS: 50-1
7) Someone John respects comedically thinks Robin Williams is funny and recommended that John do the movie.
No evidence to suggest a person like this exists. No record of John befriending anyone absent from the planet since the late '70s. Unlikely that John is friends with anyone related to Robin. ODDS: 40-1
6) John Krasinski, at some point prior to the filming of License To Wed, was abducted and replaced by a doppelganger with the inability to register funny. This replicant was then switched back out prior to the filming of the most recent season of The Office.
On the surface, this is ridiculous (Though, admittedly, not as far-fetched as number 1). Do we even have the technology for this? What would the motive be? Why bother switching him back? ODDS: 100-1
5) Hes not really in it, I misread the poster. It actually stars John C. McGinley, stupid.
I went back to re-check. Hes in it. ODDS: none
4) John finds Robin to be terribly unfunny but thinks the movie will be a hit cause Robins a star.
Robin hasnt exactly been a juggernaut at the box office lately. No guarantees here and Im guessing John knows it. Ill save this reason for when John appears in a Ben Stiller vehicle. ODDS: 20-1
3) John wanted to work with/sleep with/canoodle Mandy Moore.
Sounds legit. But isnt he at the level where he could probably just do this on his own? ODDS: 5-1
2) Robin Williams used his crazy strong, man-ape body to overpower John and physically force him to sign the contract.
Nah. Too many agents and managers would have to have been dispatched in a similar fashion. Robin is too old and broken down to pummel more than a few random people a day. ODDS: 75-1
1) You're just a dumb jerk and Robin is hilarious, LOL, and also leave him alone cause he makes more money than you do!!! And whoever wrote this tHiNg iS sToOpiD and laaame! >
Irrelevant. Not a reason. ODDS: none
Godless Kiddie Show Rankles T.V. Watchdogs
Childrens sensation VeggieTales has gone Hollywood... and lost its religion.
The popular Christian-themed series featuring Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber recently started airing on NBC, but the network has edited out the shows many references to God.
Not surprisingly, the changes brought a strong response from the watchdog group Parents Television Council.
"What struck me and continues to strike me is the inanity of ripping the heart and soul out of a successful product and not thinking that there will be consequences to it," said L. Brent Bozell, president of the Parents Television Council.
NBC defends the edits, saying in a statement that they dont want to push one religion over another. (The VeggieTales video God Wants Me to Forgive Them?! didnt tip them off?)
"NBC is committed to the positive messages and universal values of 'VeggieTales,' " the statement said. "Our goal is to reach as broad an audience as possible with these positive messages, while being careful not to advocate any one religious point of view."
As for the shows creator, Phil Vischer, he says the show is Christian, should be Christian, and he wouldnt have made the lucrative deal if hed known about the edits. Phil, meet the turnip truck you fell off of.
Of course, the better question is, why expose your children to religion when you can expose them to great music, courtesy of SpongeBob Squarepants? A new "concept album" inspired by the yellow, undie-wearing sponge has pulled in a few top-notch musicians: Brian Wilson, Tommy Ramone, cult favorite NRBQ, Tex-Mex icon Flaco Jimenez, Mandy Barnett, acclaimed guitarist James Burton and multi-instrumentalist Corky Hale, whose career credits include playing with Billie Holiday, Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra.
Meet God's veggies
NBC to Stream its New Fall Season
Yet another media giant of jumping on the bandwagon and bringing their programming to the tubes. NBC announced today it would be joining the likes of ABC, CBS and Fox, offering their fall season prime time shows for free to web viewers.
NBC will launch their new high resolution player on October 1st, along with episodes of the "Law and Order: *.*", "The Office", "30 Rock", "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" and "Kidnapped", among others. Following the airing of each premiere episode, viewers will also have the opportunity to somehow interact with the creators, or cast members via a "live blog". I hope live blog actually means live chat, and not character by character live transfer to a blog, heh. Either way, I'll be sure to tune in if Jim from The Office is participating.
The NBC shows will be delivered through the newly formed video aggregation service, NBBC or National Broadband Company.
Last year ABC began streaming their own full length ad-supported shows over the Internet. I was pretty excited about that, as it meant I could watch Lost while pretending to work. One negative thing about their service is that because the programs were so readily available, I got hooked on ... "Desperate Housewives". The negative part is that it was "Desperate Housewives". This season ABC is said to be adding new shows, none of which I have ever heard of, including "Six Degrees", "The Nine" and "The Knights of Prosperity". Knights you say?
In slightly related news, yesterday AT&T announced MobiTV, a $20 a month service delivering 20 streaming television stations right to your computer. I would much prefer turning my head slightly to the right and watching them all of my television.
(via Techcrunch)
Emmy Controversy Over Plane Crash Skit
The General Manager of Lexington, Kentuckys NBC affiliate criticized the opening skit of Sundays Emmy Awards as insensitive and tasteless.
The prerecorded opening segment began with Emmy host Conan O'Brien boarding a private plane to Los Angeles. Asked by a stewardess if he was nervous about hosting the show, O'Brien answered "Nervous? What could possibly go wrong?"
The plane then shook and pitched violently, sending O'Brien out of his seat and seeking shelter in an overhead baggage compartment.
The skit didn't show the plane crashing. Instead, it cut to O'Brien emerging from the ocean onto an island resembling the one in Lost, where he meets a cast member.
While a skit parodying the ever-popular Lost series seems like prime material, a tragedy early Sunday day put things in a different light. Hours before the show, a plane crash in Kentucky killed forty-nine people.
"It was a live telecast. We were completely helpless," Tim Gilbert was quoted as saying on the Lexington Herald-Leader's Web site.
"By the time we began to react, it was over. At the station, we were as horrified as they were at home," Gilbert said.
Gilbert claimed he expects an apology from NBC for the tasteless skit.
"They could have killed the opening and it wouldn't have hurt the show at all," Gilbert said. "We wish somebody had thought this through. It's somewhere between ignorance and incompetence.
Gilbert got his wish: NBC executives issued a formal apology.
"Our hearts and prayers go out to the many families who lost loved ones in the plane crash in Kentucky on Sunday, and to the entire community that has suffered this terrible loss," NBC said in a statement the day after the ceremony.
"In no way would we ever want to make light of this terrible tragedy," NBC said. "The filmed opening during the Emmy telecast was meant to spoof some of television's most well-known scenes. The timing was unfortunate, and we regret any unintentional pain it may have caused."
In case you missed it, heres the skit in question.