Breaking: Britney Spears Files for Divorce
Shes shed the post-baby weight, and now its time to shed some dead weight; TMZ.com announced Britney Spears filed for divorce from her husband of two years, Kevin Federline.
Spears filed legal papers today in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences." In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple's two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights.
As for money, sources tell TMZ the couple, who married in Sept. 2004, has an iron-clad prenup. Not surprisingly, Spears is waiving her right to spousal support. She's also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney's fees.
Spears gives the date of separation as yesterday, the same day she flaunted her incredible revamped physique during a surprise appearance on David Letterman's show. Sources tell TMZ there was no single reason for Britney pulling the plug, rather, it was "a string of events."
Spears has yet to comment on the matter.
Kevin Federline Discusses His Vast 'Talent'
Kevin Federline, maker of babies, would like you to know how fucking awesome he is. In his upcoming interview with People magazine, Federline boasted about his acting chops, which he displayed on a recent appearance on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
"I shocked myself," he says. "There were parts that I wish I would have done different, but there are parts that really took me, like, Wow, did I do that? I looked at myself and I was like, It looked good. It looked perfect."
So, in the spirit of competition, check out KFeds scene from CSI. Tell me: who kicked more ass on CSI: KFed, or the homicidal Suicide Girls on CSI: NY?
Personally, I think Nixon would have kicked that baby-makers bitch ass.
K-Fed's Multimillion-Dollar Deal to Go Away
Its long been rumored that Kevin Federline would get a hefty settlement should he and Britney shockingly turn out NOT to be soulmates. Well, the magic number is out.
If he and wife Britney Spears ever split, he stands to get $10 million - millions more than has been reported. "Britney was leaving Kevin but then got pregnant again," said a frustrated family friend. "He would have gotten $10 million."
Thats right - $10 million for being nothing more than virile. The payout could explain why Britney seems to be hanging on to the marriage for dear life.
When the split inevitably comes, one of the biggest beneficiaries of K-Feds newfound wealth will undoubtedly be Vegas casinos. Just last week, the "Popozao" singer hit Sin City for some carousing, leaving Spears at home with month-old Sutton Pierce and 13-month-old Sean Preston.
Simply a dick move, or a calculated step toward pay day?
Maybe he'll finally be able to afford a razor and some pants that fit.
Catching Up with Man-Genius Kevin Federline
If you wonder what Kevin Federline, Britney Spears' husband, does all day long, I have your answer: not much. However, he took a few hours out of a busy day to spend his wifes money at a tattoo parlor. He spent eight hours under the needle for his newest piece--a Polynesian tribal belt tattoo on his back.
The painful tattoo depicts the creation of life and features a foetus in the middle. Federline says, "It's got the suns and the ocean and then the stars on my shoulders.
"It follows my wife-beater (vest) line. You can't see it when I'm wearing a wife-beater... It was pretty fucking painful."
When hes not getting tattoos that gracefully mirror the line of his wife-beater, he works on his new material, whatever that means. Mr. Spears took a few minutes from another busy day to defend his wifes alleged shitty parenting skills. He addressed the nasty incident when photographers caught her driving with the couples infant perched upon her lap, helping mommy steer. Spears claimed paparazzi surrounded her vehicle after a trip to Starbucks, so she took off in a hurry with no time to buckle baby Sean Preston in his car seat.
He tells GQ magazine, "What those magazines (that printed the damning photographs) don't tell you is that Starbucks is a minute from the house.
"If she feels like she gotta take the baby and put him on her lap and get out of there, so be it. I'd say she plays mama real well... She's a very good mother."
Since theyre only a few minutes away and she probably drove really fast, I guess the kid was safe.
Things are not always roses and puppies around the Federline-Spears mansionsometimes K-Fed needs a good cry. He desperately needed a good cry after critics and members of the hip hop community panned his performance at the Teen Choice Awards.
"He was actually crying," says a source. The next day, at home in Malibu, California, wife Spears, 24, "also cried for him She didn't leave him alone all day," says the source.
Please check out K-Feds new joint for his song, Lose Control. Yall aint ready.
'Broke' K-Fed Wants to Shock and Awe the TV Audience
Kevin Federline says he's not nervous about his televised rapping debut at the Teen Choice Awards this Sunday. In fact, K-Fed wants people to invoke the Lord's name when they see him.
"I think I'm going to go for the Oh-my-God factor. That's what I'm aiming for."
Undoubtedly, thats just what people will say. Possibly followed by hysterical laughter. But K-Fed is pretty confident that the kids are going to love him.
You're making your debut on the Teen Choice Awards. Are you nervous?
I'm not freaked out at all, man. There ain't no way. I'm ready. It's going to be incredible. I've got a few tricks up my sleeve here and there.
Why are you going public now as a performer?
It was (the) right time, right moment. I've been getting people ready, I think, you know. Now I think they're ready. I'm ready. I've been getting ready myself.
So what hes saying is... everyone's ready?
In an interview with GQ, K-Fed defends his work ethic, saying hes just trying to make a buck. (Apparently gambling wads of cash in Vegas does count.)
"I don't get any money from my wife. I'm almost broke. As a man, as a male figure and a father, I wouldn't be happy sitting back and living off my wife's fortune.
I have to provide for my family. People have to understand that I'm working too. She's not the only one that's got things to do."
Pregnant Pop Star Equals Cash Cow for Baby Daddy
In April of this year, a glowing Britney Spears made a surprise appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman. She stopped in with a purpose; Brit announced to the world she was five months pregnant with her second child.
"Don't worry, Dave, it's not yours," the singer joked.
"Oh. Well, I think that's good news for both of us," Letterman responded.
The admission shocked everyone since her first baby, Sean P., erupted forth from Brits loins in September. In a span of just four months, K-Fed knocked up his former-pop-star wife again. Letterman and his sidekick Paul Shaffer wasted no time in making jokes.
"I think that K-Fed is, you know, would have to be getting awful busy at a quick rate," to be expecting another child, said Shaffer.
"Well, what else does he have to do?" Letterman quipped.
Maybe hes getting busy counting the money Brit agreed to pay him for each child. The contract entitled K-Fed to a larger share of her fortune, with their second shortie on its way.
Before he got married, Kevin was sitting down with lawyers, discussing legal and financial issues, says a source. He was sitting sort of slumped over with a baseball cap over his eyes and a lawyer was talking about how he had to sign a pre-nup and Kevin looked sort of bummed out. But then the lawyer explained that for every child the two of you have together, you would receive X amount of dollars. His eyes really lit up.
Im sure they lit up with dollar signs.
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The Casting Couch: Hirings, Walk-Offs and Rumors
It's all about sequels, guest appearances and a once-bitter comic who embraces the sunnier side of life.
* I'm doing a happy dance - there will be a sequel to 2004s underappreciated Hellboy. Hellboy 2 will reunite stars Ron Perlman (as the wisecracking bad-ass hulk) and Selma Blair (his pyrokinetic love interest) with director Guillermo del Toro. The movie is scheduled for a summer 2008 release.
* J.Lo has bowed out of the big-screen version of Dallas for unknown reasons. She was set to play boozy Sue Ellen. The rest of the pricey cast still committed to the project: John Travolta as J.R. Ewing, Owen Wilson as Bobby Ewing and Shirley MacLaine as Miss Ellie.
* Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. Twelve years after his last outing, Bruce Willis is back as embattled cop John McClane in a brand new Die Hard movie. No, really. Cheesily titled Live Free or Die Hard, the film will be directed by Les Wiseman (Underworld).
In the pic, an attack on the country's computer infrastructure begins to cripple the nation. But the man behind the attack never expected an old-fashioned cop to mess up his plans.
Another Rocky movie, another Die Hard... can another Terminator be far behind?
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* Jay Mohr's conversion to warm, fuzzy guy continues. After recently joining the Jennifer Love Hewitt-starrer Ghost Whisperer, the formerly acerbic Mohr is now set to star in the holiday TV movie Christmas Do-Over for the ABC Family channel. Co-starring Daphne Zuniga, the Groundhog Day-like movie "centers on a shallow ad exec who's forced to relive Christmas Day over and over until he makes some real changes to his life." Bah humbug.
* Steve Martin is reprising his role as Inspector Clouseau for another feeble installment of The Pink Panther. Peter Sellers is spinning in his grave.
* Jason Alexander is dropping by buddy Chris Rock's show Everybody Hates Chris. Alexander will appear in at least two episodes as a school principal. Hes not the only big-name guest star on the line-up. Whoopi Goldberg will also make an appearance next season as Chris new next door neighbor.
* Kevin Federline may now pursue an acting career!
Speaking to U.S. magazine In Touch, he revealed: "I've already been offered a couple of scripts. The most interesting one was a role as a drug dealer, starring Ben Affleck's brother (Casey). I was supposed to audition, but I got really sick and couldn't make it."
The sickness he's referring to is called "working."
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