Asshole Fuckface Roundup #104
Mmm. Asshole Fuckfacery. You know you love it. You know you want it. Each week I scour the news for the worst of the worst and present them to you for mocking. So, get your hottest pants on and let's get this party started.
First up, some worst Senator alive Asshole Fuckfacry.
Apparently, its not difficult for Joe Lieberman to be the worst Democrat alive. Its just something he excels at. This week, Joe came out against a public health plan. Thats just how he do. Being a Democrat, from a Democratic state, hes decided not to go with the only thing that will bring down health care costs. Hes decided not to go with a public plan that 90% of Democrats want and 70% of Americans want. He against it!
"If we create a public option, the public is going to end up paying for it."
Wait a minute. Slow the fuck down. This is very difficult and complex stuff and your rushing through it makes it even worse. So, you're saying that if we create a public option, the public is going to end up paying for it......fuck, I still don't get it. Start over. All I know is that right now we are throwing bags of money at private insurance companies but thats not paying for it. I don't get this "public" shit.
"My fear is...[health care providers] would end up getting levels of reimbursement from the public plan...comparable to what they get today from Medicaid."
Oh noes! We must save the health care providers from losing out on their insane profits! Let's just ignore the fact that the public plan being addressed is comparable remuneration-wise to Medicare - which is better. Blah, blah, blah, facts are dumb.
Remember way back when Asshole Fuckface Lieberman was running for the Senate in 2006? After losing in the Democratic primary? And he decided to run from the left?
July 6, 2006 primary debate:
And what I'm saying to the people of Connecticut, I can do more for you and your families to get something done to make health care affordable, to get universal health insurance, to make America energy independent, to save your jobs and create new ones. That's what the Democratic Party is all about.
Sept. 21, 2006, during the general election campaign.
After spending most of his Senate career advocating piecemeal health care reforms, Joseph I. Lieberman said Wednesday he strongly supports universal health care.
Lieberman devoted a conference call with reporters to an issue that his main rival in the U.S. Senate race, Democratic nominee Ned Lamont, has highlighted in recent days.
"I have long supported the goal of universal health care," Lieberman told reporters. "Ned Lamont can talk about it. I've been doing something about it all the time I've been here."
Liar! And an Asshole Fuckface!
Next up, some logic fail Asshole Fuckfacery.
Obviously, Obama is destroying our country. Hes a communist, hes in love with Iran and he is black. Its very upsetting if you sit back and look at the whole picture. As an American who loves America so much, he would like to blow America while singing God Bless America, I know there is only one way to save our country: Blow it up.
Finally someone is talking some sense up in this bitch. The only way to save America is to destroy it first. Its like Danny Bonaduce. Same deal. No way we see another Oklahoma City bombing during Obama's presidency.
Next up, some global warming denier Asshole Fuckfacery.
Oh, the right wing has a new poster boy. He works for the EPA and he hates him some global warming. Thats why he put together an extensive scientific study to show the world it is not real. Global warming is a hoax!
The author, EPA veteran Al Carlin, is an economist, not a climate scientist.
Whatever. Dudes got EPA credentials. The right wing is in a tizzy because Carlins report is being buried! Buried, I tell you!
It's unclear whether Carlin was supposed to be a member of the working group of staffers whose input on the document was actively solicited. He says he thought he was, since he was included on emails about the document, and invited to meetings on the issue. But the EPA subsequently said he wasn't.
But Carlin was soon told by a colleague coordinating responses to the draft that there were "reservations" about including Carlin's comments in the finding. Soon afterward, NCEE director Al McGartland informed Carlin that his comments would not be included. McFarland then told Carlin via email not to have any further contact with other EPA staff on the issue of climate change, and not to do any more work on the issue.
Don't hate the playa, hate the game! Why does the EPA want to shut down the truth?!?! Ask yourself that question. The EPA is part of the global warming religion and will do anything to hide the truth!
A NASA climatologist has called the report, "a ragbag collection of un-peer reviewed web pages, an unhealthy dose of sunstroke, a dash of astrology and more cherries than you can poke a cocktail stick at."
Um, yeah. Thats what science is. Jesus said that.
Thankfully, we have lawmakers who wont let this horrible injustice go unanswered.
A top Republican senator has ordered an investigation into the Environmental Protection Agency's alleged suppression of a report that questioned the science behind global warming.
Senator Inhofe wont let this stand! Why are you burying a scientific report you never asked for, that was created by an economist? Youve got some answering to do, EPA. Next well hear that youre hiding a report from a janitor on the friendly nature of volcanoes. No matter how much you want this to go away, Obamepa, it aint! The truth must be told! You fuckers opened up a can of corruption!
Now, Rep. Joe Barton is taking the outrage to a new level. This morning on America's Newsroom, the industry-friendly Texas Republican accused the EPA of suppressing the report, and declared that "just as Nixon had Watergate, Obama now has Carbongate to deal with."
Its totally not embarrassing! Go Republicans!
Finally, some San Diego Asshole Fuckfacery.
Well, it was only a matter of time before Democrats started getting pepper sprayed. Who knew it would be beautiful San Diego that would kick it off? Democratic House candidate Francine Busby was holding a fundraiser last Friday night when things took a wrong turn.
The Sheriff's Department received the complaint at 9:33 p.m. from a man who said someone was talking on a loudspeaker and a crowd was cheering, keeping him awake.
Dude. Its Friday. Someone should call the cops on you for being lame.
In reality, the party wasnt loud at all.
Neighbors on three sides of the house said yesterday there wasn't much noise from the party. One man said he slept through it.
Apparently dude had some other issues with the fundraiser.
During Busby's speech, Barman said in a statement yesterday, a man on the property behind her house shouted disparaging remarks about Busby and gay people. Barman lives in the house with her partner, Jane Stratton, 55.
Im guessing the words Dikes and Lesbos were tossed around a bit by Mr. I Cant Sleep Because Gay People Are Next Door. Thankfully, the awesome Deputy Marshall Abbott arrived to calm the situation down. This is a good time to ask if its a good sign when people call 911 to report a cop going apeshit.
When the homeowner questioned why she had to provide her date of birth, the deputy grabbed her arm, put it behind her back, and brought her to the ground. Feeling intimidated by a group of mostly middle-aged women, he pepper-sprayed a number of guests and arrested Barman.
Thats pretty much the usual response to a noise complaint, I guess. Abbot then called in the calvary. Multiple cops arrived, as did a helicopter and a dog unit for a bunch of middle aged women. Hey, I wonder if this has anything to do with them being gay?
Stay classy, San Diego!
FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper You may also enjoy his blog, Stop All Monsters.
Smothering A Lieberman
There are only a few ways to stop a Lieberman. First you have to understand it. Most Liebermans were once like us. Our current Lieberman is called Joe. He moved amongst us and even tried to lead. But then one day he changed and turned into something more horrible than one could imagine. Like most Liebermans, we have reached a point where it has to be put down, for the good of the nation.
Our latest Lieberman was a nominee on the Democratic Party presidential ticket just 8 years ago. He lost and that is not surprising. There is usually one pivotal moment that all Liebermans experience, the one that alters their view of the world, the one that turns them from a human into a soulless creature. Some watched their parents murdered, others were tortured and many others were accidentally injected with radioactive material. For this Joe, many believe it was 9/11. After that day, they say, the Lieberman was never the same. But, in reality, the Lieberman has always been that kind of a Lieberman and should never have been chosen by Al Gore for the VP slot. This Lieberman has always been dirty at its core.
In 1998, it was so distraught by moral outrage that it took to the Senate floor and attacked then President Clinton.
But the truth is that after much reflection, my feelings of disappointment and anger have not dissipated, except now these feelings have gone beyond my personal dismay to a larger, graver sense of loss for our country, a reckoning of the damage that the president's conduct has done to the proud legacy of his presidency and, ultimately, an accounting of the impact of his actions on our democracy and its moral foundations.
The implications for our country are so serious that I feel a responsibility to my constituents in Connecticut, as well as to my conscience, to voice my concerns forthrightly and publicly. And I can think of no more appropriate place to do that than on this great Senate floor.
This is not something that should surprise anyone who keeps a careful eye on Liebermans. They are horrible creatures. Often they travel in a pack of filth, so they dont stand out. But this Lieberman managed to stand out from the pack with his grotesquely blatant Liebermanning.
U.S. Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman, who often takes a conservative line on social issues, is facing a liberal Democratic primary challenge from wealthy Greenwich businessman Ned Lamont. But that hasn't stopped Lieberman from supporting the approach of the Catholic hospitals when it comes to contraceptives for rape victims.
Lieberman said he believes hospitals that refuse to give contraceptives to rape victims for "principled reasons" shouldn't be forced to do so. "In Connecticut, it shouldn't take more than a short ride to get to another hospital," he said.
Typical Liebermanish stuff. It also supported right wing lunatic Samuel Alitos nomination to the Supreme Court.
Senator Lieberman turned his back on this country's women by refusing to support a filibuster against the confirmation of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. Judge Alito was confirmed yesterday by a vote of 58-42. While Connecticut NOW recognizes the 42 senators who voted against confirmation, the crucial vote happened the day before, when senators voted on whether or not to end debate on this nomination. Since the Republican leadership had enough votes to confirm Alito, a filibuster was the only way to prevent his confirmation.
Connecticut NOW applauds Senator Dodd for his support of the filibuster. Shamefully his colleague, Senator Lieberman, demonstrated a lack of respect and concern for the women and girls of Connecticut and the nation by his refusal to support the filibuster.
Like most Liebermans, it likes to inject racism into an election.
Mr. Lieberman, who is running on his own party line, pointed to Representative Maxine Waters, a Democrat from Los Angeles, who campaigned for Mr. Lamont during the primary. This summer, Ms. Waters was one of a dozen Democrats who did not vote in favor of a resolution condemning Hezbollah for attacking Israel during the war in Lebanon.
Ms. Waters, who abstained from the vote, said she objected to some language in the resolution praising the Bush administration.
In his remarks, Mr. Lieberman also recalled the appearance of the Rev. Al Sharpton at Mr. Lamonts side on primary night, calling it a remarkable moment.
Yes. Liebermans love to point out that their opponents are hanging with black people. But thats just part of their game. One of the most common traits that can be found in a Lieberman is blatant lying. Here is a clip of it doing just that in the 2006 Connecticut Senate race.
Liebermans dont care. They will do and say whatever they can in the moment to survive.
Oh, shit. Thats maybe the most classic Liebertalk, ever. Two months later, it was spewing a completely different story.
Backed by Sen. Joe Lieberman, Sen. John McCain took his controversial proposal for curbing Iraq's sectarian violence to Baghdad on Thursday, calling for an additional 15,000 to 30,000 U.S. troops and joining a congressional delegation in telling Iraq's prime minister he must break his close ties with a radical Shiite cleric.
Lieberman, D-Conn., and Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., said they agreed with the Arizona Republican's call for a troop increase.
"We need more, not less, U.S. troops here," Lieberman said.
BAM! Youve been Liebermanned! Thats what they do. They are vile, awful creatures. This Lieberman was also one of the staunchest defenders of Alberto Gonzalez, who is possibly the worst Attorney General in the history of the United States.
He seconded Mr. Gonzaless sneering reference to the quaint provisions of the Geneva Conventions.
Yes, they are so very quaint. The Lieberman pretends to be good, while in actuality, it is evil. And it loves to threaten:
Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut told the Politico on Thursday that he has no immediate plans to switch parties but suggested that Democratic opposition to funding the war in Iraq might change his mind.
Oh, no, scary Lieberman. When its not threatening to leave the people it fucks over, it is fucking over the people it threatens to leave.
In his latest break from the Democratic Party, Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.) is defending Republican Sen. Norm Coleman (Minn.) from Democratic attacks in one of the nation's closest Senate races.
Lieberman disputes partisan attacks that Coleman conducted inadequate oversight of the Iraq war as the top Republican on the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations (PSI).
"Any suggestion Sen. Coleman stymied Democrats' investigations into Iraq-related matters is unfair and unfounded," Lieberman wrote this weekend in an op-ed in the St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Thank you for that. Even though it is a "Progressive," it does everything it can to help people it is opposed to on most issues.
Not only has Lieberman endorsed Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine.) -- one of Democrats' biggest targets in the 2008 cycle -- but he's planning to co-host a fundraiser for her on June 21 in Washington, D.C.
Most importantly, it did everything it could to help out The Dark One during the election.
As he introduced Mr. McCain at a campaign event here on Tuesday, Senator Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut made the attack a lot more explicit, calling the election a choice between one candidate, John McCain, who has always put the country first, worked across party lines to get things done, and one candidate who has not.
On the Brian and Judge radio show, asked if Obama was indeed a Marxist, Lieberman replied, "I must say, that's a good question... I will tell you that during this campaign, I've learned some things about him, about the kind of environment from which he came ideologically. And I wouldn't...I'd hesitate to say he's a Marxist, but he's got some positions that are far to the left of me and I think mainstream America."
Joe Lieberman chastised Obama for voting to "cut off funding for our troops on the ground." Both the McCain campaign and the RNC have run ads making the same claim.
But the fact that the spokesperson for Hamas would say they would welcome the election of Senator Obama really does raise the question, "Why?"
And it suggests the difference between these two candidates.
Then, of course, there is its speech at the Republican National Convention. Full of lies and distortions against the guy he now wants to help out by remaining in positions of power.
After all that, one would expect a normal human being to accept defeat. Most humans would understand that their actions have consequences and constantly choosing the wrong side, while making threats, wont work out if you lose. But the Lieberman is very different.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid met with the Lieberman last week and told it that it could stay in the Democratic caucus if it accepted a less important committee chairmanship, instead of the very powerful Homeland Security Committee chairmanship he currently has. It didnt respond well to the same kind of threats it is constantly making, so it made another threat.
Lieberman gave a press conference afterwards in which he threatened once again to caucus with the Republicans and called Reid's offer "unacceptable."
Aw. Now it wants everyone to just forget that it has been running around acting like a Lieberman.
Now that the election is over, it is time to put partisan considerations aside and come together as a nation to solve the difficult challenges we face and make our blessed land stronger and safer. I pledge to work with President-elect Obama and his incoming Administration in their efforts to reinvigorate our economy and keep our nation secure and free."
Yes. It is threatening to leave the Democratic caucus if it is stripped of its Homeland Security Committee chairmanship. You know, the one it didn't use to investigate what went wrong with the response to Hurricane Katrina.
This seems to be routinely overlooked, but take a moment to consider what the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs actually does: it's the committee principally responsible for oversight of the executive branch. It's an accountability committee, charged with investigating the conduct of the White House and the president's administration.
As chairman of this committee for the last two years, Lieberman decided not to pursue any accusations of wrongdoing against the Bush administration. Lieberman's House counterpart -- Rep. Henry Waxman's Oversight Committee -- was a vigilant watchdog, holding hearings, issuing subpoenas, and launching multiple investigations. Lieberman preferred to let his committee do no real work at all. It was arguably the most pathetic display of this Congress.
The Lieberman should understand that even if it hadnt campaigned for The Dark One, it still didnt do its job. As a matter of fact, it did the opposite of its job. The Lieberman is one of the main reasons The Cheney and The Bush were able to run amuck the past couple of years. This is the same creature that took to the Senate floor to attack Clinton for getting a blowjob. It actually said this:
The implications for our country are so serious that I feel a responsibility to my constituents in Connecticut, as well as to my conscience, to voice my concerns forthrightly and publicly.
But it did nothing to investigate anything during the Bush years. It refused to use its committee for its intended purpose.
Its time to put The Lieberman out of its misery. It is the right thing to do. The threat is hollow. What is it going to do? Vote against the wishes of its liberal constituents? Is it going to suddenly change all the supposed liberal positions it has because it is angry? No, because it already did that. In 2006, when it lost the Democratic Connecticut primary to Ned Lamont. It really cant behave any worse. Take its power and put it in a cage.
FearTheReaper can change his mind in a heartbeat if the Dems take the Minnesota and Alaskan Senate races. If so, he then loves Joe Lieberman. Oh, and he doesn't give a flying fuck what Obama says about The Lieberman.
FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.
Asshole Fuckface Roundup
Without the Asshole Fuckface Roundup, Saturday would be a nightmarishly boring day. We can only assume how suicides would increase in an AFR-less world, which means I am saving lives. Many, many lives. I scoured the news again this week and I have found a beautiful collection of Asshole Fuckfaces. Hang onto your chest hair and take a look at this week's winners.
The first Asshole Fuckface of the week is a company that just wants to keep our kids safe.
The Asshole Fuckfaces at MJ Safety Solutions have come up with an answer to the many school shootings that plague our society. Backpacks made out of body armor! Yay! Personally, I prefer the Ballistic Backpack.
Ballistic Backpack - Our most popular book bag with 2 main compartments and a padded computer sleeve PLUS Level II Ballistic Panel.
Fear = money! And it will make your children feel comfortable every time they step foot on school grounds, because kids feel better when they are constantly reminded that they could be shot. And your son will never be ridiculed for having a backpack made out of armor. Patton Oswalt, a nerd who was most probably horribly abused in high school, emailed me this gem this morning.
Their slogan: Cuz theres a lot of unpopular kids who read and own guns and your kids been kicking the shit out of them.
Come on, Oswalt, let it go. You fucking won already!
I could easily pick Joe Lieberman every week because he has amazing Asshole Fuckface instincts, but this week the Senator has outdone himself.
On Thursday morning Lieberman issued a press release. He thought it was a great day to bag on the Democratic Congressional leadership for their opinions on Iraq.
Forced by facts on the ground to acknowledge the progress of the American and Iraqi militaries since the new surge strategy started, some of these opponents of the war are now turning their harshest criticism on our allies in Iraq instead of our enemies. This is a mistake....Political progress in Iraq depends on this kind of steady statecraft and patient diplomacy on the ground in Baghdad, rather than scapegoating and congressionally-ordered coups....
We have made enormous progress in defending and advancing America's vital national interests in Iraq over the past six months against our two deadliest enemies in the world-al Qaeda and Iran. Realism requires that we recognize these gains, not dismiss or disparage them--and that we distinguish between our allies in Iraq, and our enemies.
The ally Lieberman was referring to was Iraqi president Maliki. Apparently if you talk shit about Iraqs shitty leader, you are aiding terrorists. Although this is Lieberman's standard bullshit, it was delivered on the wrong day. He looked like a complete Asshole Fuckface because Thursday was the same day the new National Intelligence Estimate was released.
Two hours later:
The new NIE offers a harsh assessment of the Maliki government and the situation in Iraq that is strikingly similar to the case being made by Dems.
The NIE says that despite uneven security gains, the dominant story in Iraq right now is the inability of the Maliki government to achieve political reconciliation.
The NIE says that we have only had "measurable but uneven improvements" on the security front, and adds that "the level of overall violence remains high" and that Iraqi leaders are "unable to govern effectively.
Oops. Im sure Senator Asshole Fuckface will promptly say he was wrong, because he always apologizes when he wrong. Right?
And speaking of being wrong
Fox News lives deep in the world of Asshole Fuckfaces.
Fox is on the war path and its not the Iraq war path. The target is Iran and this time it is
exactly the fucking same.
And why shouldnt Fox get their viewers fired up about attacking Iran? The Iraq war is not going well, so it is obviously not fun to cover. That is why Fox News now devotes only 8% of its airtime to Iraq war coverage. The idiots at CNN devote 18%, while MSNBC gives the war 15%. Fox needs something positive to show their viewers, like a kick-ass bombing campaign!
If you set a mans dick on fire, you will always find yourself in the Asshole Fuckface Roundup.
A Russian couple was forced to live together for three years after their divorce. Apparently it is common for divorced couples to live together because property is so expensive. This week, the ex-husband had a few drinks while he was watching TV. He must have had a lot of vodka because he didnt notice his ex-wife setting his cock on fire.
A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.
Turns out a penis fire is not enjoyable.
"It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. "I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."
Neither do I. I didnt even know penises were flammable.
Im going to wrap up this Asshole Fuckface jamboree with the greatest Asshole Fuckface of all time. Ted Nugent.
Ted had a concert in Anaheim last week during which he called for several Democrats to kill themselves. Or, I should say, retardedly alluded to their deaths.
As a stand up comedian and comedy writer, I can only dream of coming up with such brilliant lines.
Hey Obama, you might want to suck on one of these, you punk.
Obama is a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun, lets here it for him.
Those 30 years of being a front man have really paid off! The Nuge knows how to turn a clever phrase.
Barbara Boxer might want to suck on my machine gun.
Yeah, fuck her! She has a different political ideology than you, so she should die!
Hey Hillary, you might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch.
Ha ha! She's a witch. Get it? That is why she is riding a machine gun. That is some quality shit, Nuge!
Hey Diane Feinstein, you might want to ride one of these you worthless whore.
Ah, okay, well, we are starting to repeat a bit here. But what the hell, it was a quality joke and it deserved another go.
Any questions?
Uh, yeah, how about a shockingly ironic William Wallace death scene scream?
Freedoooooom!
Thanks, Nuge.
Congrats to all of this week winners! You each get a FearTheReaper necklace. Cubic zirconia set in gold, bitch!
Go Suck That Republican Cock, Joe
Yesterday, war-lover Joe Lieberman said the he might switch parties if Democrats continue their opposition of funding the Iraq war. Got that? Its a threat and not so subtle one. The Senate is currently 51-49 in favor of Democrats, but if Joe leaves that majority is gone.
Lieberman became an independent after he lost the Democratic Connecticut primary. He went on to win the election and now caucuses with the Democrats. But it is not a very nice relationship because he threatens that he will leave the caucus every chance he gets. See, Joe loves his war and he wants it to go on and on and on because it is going so incredibly well.
"I have no desire to change parties. If that ever happens, it is because I feel the majority of Democrats have gone in a direction that I don't feel comfortable with."
He suggested, however, that the forthcoming showdown over new funding could be a deciding factor that would lure him to the Republican Party.
Its nice to see one man trying to hold the Senate hostage. Well guess what, Joe? Go, you are fucking meaningless. Let me explain. At the beginning of every congress, each house passes a resolution organizing its committees, designating committee chairs and listing the majority and minority members of each committee. The current Senate did so on January 12th.
Back in 2001, when the Senate convened, Al Gore was still the Vice President and would be for another two-and-a-half weeks. The Senate was tied 50-50, so Democrats had control of the chamber when the organizing resolution came to a vote. With Dick Cheney soon to come in, however, Democrats allowed Republicans to control the Senate in return for this provision:
If at any time during the 107th Congress either party attains a majority, . . . the provisions of this resolution shall have no further effect . . . except that the committee chairmanships shall be held by the party which has attained a majority.
So, when Jeffords bolted the Republican Party five months later, the Republicans lost control of the Senate. But there was no such clause written into this years organizing resolution. Why? Nobody knows. But the net effect is this: Joe Lieberman has no power to switch the balance of the Senate, his threats are hollow and he is a dick.
So feel free to switch parties, Joe. Or dont. But shut the fuck up.
Lieberman Party Is Pissed At Lieberman
After Senator Joe Lieberman lost the Connecticut Democratic primary in August he formed a new party: The Connecticut for Lieberman Party. Using friends and relatives, Joe rounded up the 25 people required to form a new minor party. He was the only candidate in the party because nobody else wanted to be embarrassed running on the Lieberman ticket.
But Fairfield University professor John Orman was not pleased with Liebermans actions. In late August he challenged the legitimacy of the new party before the Elections Enforcement Commission. The Commission disagreed and allowed Lieberman to run in the election. Lieberman beat the Democratic and Republican candidates and was re-elected to the Senate. Joe then said he would caucus with the Democrats and wanted to be called an "Independent Democrat." End of story? Not with Orman in the picture.
Orman did his research and discovered the new Connecticut for Lieberman Party had no registered members. He then switched from Democrat to Connecticut for Lieberman-ite. That is the moment Joes party became very disappointed with Joe.
"Then I went home and called a meeting of all registered Connecticut for Lieberman members to reflect on our party's victory in the U.S. Senate race (and) organize and submit rules to the secretary of the state," Orman said.
Orman nominated himself chairman and seconded the nomination. He really thought he would make a great chairman, so he cast his vote for himself. He had a little celebration party and then got down to business. He established party rules. Turns out the party is upset that Lieberman has abandoned it and declared himself an "Independent Democrat."
An attorney from the Office of Secretary of State believes Ormans actions could be legally challenged.
"I haven't had the chance to research it. . . . Ultimately, the rightness or wrongness of what Orman did or will do may end up in the courts."
But Orman has no doubts that voting himself the party chairman was perfectly legal. He says the state told him it is a legitimate party and as the only member of the party it is his right to vote himself chairman. He also wont be fucking with himself.
And as the only current member, Orman said, he can guarantee that he has no plans to sue himself.
Liebermans Testicles Swell to Alarming Size
Senator Joseph Lieberman told the Boston Globe he would caucus with Democrats in the new Senate and then he threatened those very same Democrats with his newfound power. Lieberman said he would not rule out switching sides and joining the Republicans if he doesnt get what he wants. He is in line to become chairman of the Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee and he expects to get it.
"I'm going to caucus with the Democrats both because it's good for my constituents in Connecticut, because I retained my seniority, I become a committee chair, but also I want to continue to work to bring the party back to its historic traditions of strength on national security, foreign policy, and innovation and progress in domestic policy."
Democrats currently hold a 51-49-seat majority. If Lieberman jumped ship, Republicans would regain control of the Senate based on Vice President Cheneys tie breaking vote. Republicans will to try to win over Lieberman and bring him to the dark side. Joes a little into the idea.
"I'm not ruling it out, but I hope I don't get to that point." he said
Lieberman was defeated in the Connecticut Democratic primary but won the election as an independent. He now says he wants to be called an Independent Democrat instead of asshole. Lieberman won re-election mainly because he carried 70% of the Republican vote.
"I am going to Washington beholden to no political group except the people of Connecticut and, of course, my conscience," he said.
Good luck with that.
Little Ricky Actually Becomes Even More Embarrassing
Rick Santorum has created the lamest ad of the election season. The commercial takes place in a wrestling ring. While wrestlers toss each other to the mat, little Ricky delivers a powerful message: He can work with others.
He proudly explains that he has worked with Joe Lieberman, Barbara Boxer and (gasp) Hillary Clinton, while grown men grovel around him in cute outfits.
"Too often," Santorum says, "this is what it seems like in Washington, but to get things done you gotta work together."
Ha, ha, well said, sir. And not at all retarded. Way to pull in the wrestling vote, because they are so very concerned about partisan bickering. The entire Santorum campaign staff should now be driven out to a field and one by one, put out of their misery. Its the only way to stop them from further embarrassment.
Republicans have already written off little Ricky and stopped all funding for his barely alive campaign. The only way Santorum can get any ads on the air is to purchase them himself. And that is exactly what he has done but not for the brilliant wrestling ad. Instead, Santorum has decided to go the scare the shit out of America route like so many of his Republican colleagues. Little Rickys campaign has purchased $700,000 worth of ad time for a crazy mushroom cloud commercial. Its a treat.
Joe Shows his True Colors
This summer's Connecticut Democratic primary race was one of the most interesting of the year, with newcomer anti-war candidate Ned Lamont squeezing out veteran Democrat and Bush apologist Joe Lieberman in a tight race that was widely seen as a referendum on the future of the Democratic party. Refusing to saddle himself with the obligations of the democratic process, Lieberman has decided to send a giant "Fuck You" to the Democratic voters in his state and is continuing his campaign as an "Independent." But in seeing just who is ponying up for the Lieberman 2008 campaign, his true colors are finally showing through while Republicans lend him a helping hand, ignoring their own candidate.
Facing Senator Joseph I. Liebermans independent candidacy, Republican officials at the state and national level have made the extraordinary decision to abandon their official candidate, and some are actively working to help Mr. Lieberman win in November.
Despite Mr. Liebermans position that he will continue to caucus with Democrats if re-elected, all three Republican Congressional candidates in Connecticut have praised Mr. Lieberman and have not endorsed the partys nominee, Alan Schlesinger. An independent group with Republican ties is raising money for Mr. Lieberman, who has been a strong supporter of President Bush on the Iraq war.
It doesn't help Republicans that Schelsinger is an absolute turd of a candidate, who is currently polling at a laughable 4% in a survery of likely Connecticut voters. The bad news for Democrats is that same survey was of a 3-way race between Schlesinger, Lamont and Lieberman, and Lieberman is currently way on top. Why would Republicans support a candidate who is, at least nominally, from the opposite party?
For me, its an uncomplicated decision, said William Kristol, the editor of The Weekly Standard and a neoconservative who is helping Mr. Lieberman through an independent group called Vets for Freedom, which is helping to raise funds and providing strategic advice for the senator.
Partisan Republicans may be ambivalent; they see a partisan advantage to Lamont, he said. But, he said, Foreign policy hawks and Bush doctrine believers and prowar types, we want Lieberman to win.
There are additional advantages. Every time George W. Bush makes another one of his bellicose diatribes about the "war on terror" he can walk off stage, shake hands with Joe Lieberman, and then point a finger at the rest of the Democrats who refuse to and say that they're being "partisan" while "centrists" in the party can work with him. Forget the fact that Joe just doesn't represent mainstream Democratic values (or even mainstream American values, as he continues to support the war in Iraq while most Americans don't), he's also proving himself to be quite the sore loser. But of course, the Lieberman campaign still insists that it's doing what's best for Connecticut.
Part of the problem here is that everyone outside of Connecticut wants to glom onto this race, wants to put their own spin on it and wants to use it for their own advantages, said Dan Gerstein, a Lieberman adviser. We are not interested in being anyones political football.
If that's the case, then maybe the Lieberman camapign will refuse the assistance from Republican organizations to avoid being a "political football"? Didn't think so.