It's OK to Call Homophobes Retards
[Watchdogs of the Politically Correct beware, Im about to drop some R" bombs...]
Reuters reported Thursday that an upstanding teacher in Palermo, Italy has overcome the wrath of two irate parents after she punished their son for behavior unbecoming of a young Italian schoolboy. The punishment, they claim, was abusive and demeaning.
A teacher who forced a pupil to write "I am a retard" 100 times was acquitted by an Italian court on Wednesday of abuse charges.
The teacher, whose identity was withheld to protect her privacy, forced the punishment on the 12-year-old boy after he blocked a fellow pupil from going to the toilet and called him "gay" and "girly."
He sure sounds like a retard. Theres nothing gay about taking a piss at school, and if that kid had to take a dump, well fuck, that's far from girly. The bully probably has questions about his own sexuality; his aggression merely stemming from deep-seated feelings of frustration and inadequacy at the hands of "normal" kids. The teacher should have had him write, I am a gay-curious retard who fails to grasp the subtle complexities of excretory etiquette," if only to make his hand cramp up, which would have done more to reinforce the point anyhow.
The parents, who wanted 25,000 euros ($33,580) in damages, are also retarded for failing to recognize that in the current climate of bad-word sensitivity you can't just toss around words like "gay" unless you're prepared for the consequences. "Retard," however is completely safe, so long as you don't use it around an actual mentally disabled person. Its pretty simple, people.
The teacher defended herself saying the words she used, Io sono deficiente, dont necessarily translate to I am a retard. The literal translation in Italian is I am a deficient (though deficiente usually means retard.) Anyway, its all semantics: retard can mean to slow or hinder, and gay could just as easily have meant merry. Of course a faggot really only means a bundle of sticks, but let's leave that one be.
Either way justice is served, freedom prevails, and Guido Jr. cant complain if his teacher wants to call him a little retard bastard when he behaves like a fucking mongoloid. Shit! Can I say mongoloid?
Italy's Satanic Amnesiac Mystery
I love a good mystery story. Even better when it's especially bizarre, or if it takes place in an exotic locale. When I first heard about the 22 year old British woman who was discovered dead and buried in a bathtub full of sand on a Tokyo balcony, I didn't think anything could top it.
I was wrong.
When a disheveled man showed up at police headquarters in Vercelli, Italy claiming that he had amnesia, police were baffled. One can only imagine that their bafflement turned to downright befuddlement at what they found later.
Three days earlier, on March 16, the owner of a bed-sit outside Bergamo, more than 70 miles away, had broken into the flat. The tenant had not paid his rent and she wanted to know if he was still there.
She found a scene of pure horror. The apartment was in chaos and there were signs everywhere that it had been used for a satanic rite.
There were upturned crosses, and the walls and floor were smothered with esoteric symbols written in blood. Police forensic experts estimated that as much as 3l had been splashed around.
Only later was it established that all of it belonged to the young man who had turned to the Carabinieri.
Several experts have said that the man does not appear to be faking the amnesia. He can't recognize his own family, and his body has several small puncture wounds on it. His parents say that he had always been into UFOs, and that he had quit his job six months earlier. What is unclear is how he managed to travel the 70 kilometers to the police station after losing 3 liters of blood, and who removed his computer's hard drive and his cell phone's SIM card.
I'm reminded of the Piano Man story. Of course, that guy turned out to be a hoax, and he was just a piano player, not a UFO-obsessed satanist.
Breakfast Party: Milano Style
While I was in Milan last week I was taken to a party to learn how the Italian underground wastes away their Saturday nights. Presented by Pornflakes and Carniscelte, Breakfast Party was (excuse the cliché), a night to remember.
The night began with a short (but confused) taxi ride to Cox 18 in south Milan. Ducking to go through a door that might as well have been a whole in the wall I walked into a large courtyard at the back of what looked like a shed. The courtyard was filled with a good fifty or more people smoking, chatting and taking a break from the pounding of the inside.
I'd brought along my camera in hopes of catching some of the underground fashion sense of Milan's party people. Of course, it's the middle of winter. Everyone outside was in large coats and various knitted wear. Inside the affair was much more casual than I would have guessed. I suppose on the one hand this is what makes this kind of event very successful. There was no pretension and a distinct lack of people trying too hard.
Inside, the "shed" turned out to be a tardis of sorts and opened out into a venue that accommodated a couple hundred people or more. All around the room TVs were suspended from the ceiling with clips from various porn movies playing in a montage with other iconic imagery. It was quickly apparent that surreality was top of the menu in here.
The music coming from the djs was the furthest thing you can imagine from mainstream electronica or drum and bass. There's no way you could have stuffed it in any pigeon hole no matter how hard you rammed it. Quite simply, it rocked.
On stage, throughout the night, there were different live performances depicting various sexual fetishes. This included anything from feeding to bondage to gay sex. I'm pretty sure that the performances were trying to question people's perception of such fetishes and porn in general, but it would be unfair of me to categorically state this as fact. It is, in the least, what I took away with me. It was also immensely sexy, of course.
For such a traditionally conservative country, I was amazed at the liberal attitude of the younger generations. This was different to most things you would expect to experience - there was full nudity, people in the crowd making out (no matter the gender) along with almost everyone in the room dancing. To enjoy this kind of entertainment and free thinking (at least in the UK) you would normally find yourself in a gay bar.
I had an immense amount of fun partying the Italian way. At the end of the evening I was escorted by various Italian SG members to hang out with them some more while they grabbed early morning snacks and saw the night out with yet even more fresh style than I could possibly digest.
Find out more about Porn Flakes and the parties they organize at www.pornflakes.it.
Find out more about the phenomenon that is CarniScelte at www.carniscelte.info
Tattoo Fashion: Milano Convention
While visiting the 12th Milan Tattoo Convention this past weekend, I had one of Fractal's tattoo "don'ts" on my mind. I've always found it amusing how fashion often goes straight out of the window when it comes to tattoo conventions, and Milan was no exception.
I stopped briefly to chat with Marisa_DiMattia, and we had a good giggle at some of the fashion mishaps we'd seen so far.
Everyone was desperately scrambling to have their photo taken, and in order to increase their chances they wore the most revealing clothing possible so that we could see all of their wonderful tattoos. After reviewing the photos I'd snapped I found myself wondering whether most people would normally wear this type of clothing when it's less than 10°C outside. In fact, it was amazing just how few people even showed any sign of warm outer clothing draped over their arms. Having said all this, there were some people that didn't overdo it at this convention. I would expect nothing less from one of the fashion capitals of the world, and a little taste goes a long way.
So, without further ado, here is a small sample of the snaps from the weekend...
- My first victim was a lady that I spied sporting the SuicideGirls spaghetti top designed by Courtney Riot. I love this top and I do actually think it's perfect for showing off tattoos without being over-the-top, or like wearing underwear. Kudos to this lovely lady for having some taste. It went well with her trousers too.
- This friendly gentleman was having the back of his calf tattooed by Dimitri HK. He stood in the same position for hours. While he had quite a lot of coverage, he was less about showing off his tattoos and more about his style. Rocking a brightly coloured waist-coat, no less.
- Now this is a sign of trying too hard. This guy was having his forearm worked on, yet he was wearing the most trashy looking wife-beater. It looked like he'd been wearing it in bed for the past five years. I guess one could argue that he didn't want to get ink on anything nicer, but I personally think he just wanted to show off his super sexy sleeves. What is with those giant arm holes?
- No one knows modesty like the Japanese. This lady could have easily sat there in a thong and nothing more, showing her beautiful bottom off to the whole world. Instead, the artist had kindly covered everything up. Notice the little kid in the background using the laptop? It's a family affair.
- Of course the other alternative is to take your clothes off all together. I'm not even sure this was a request, but this person started undressing and stood on the artist's stand to bare his full body suit to the world. Luckily both the body and the suit were mighty fine. Fully excusable.
- As a pretty girl nothing will get you noticed more than a fancy corset. This lady had people queueing (in Italy? Never!) all day to take her photo.
- This outfit irritated me a whole deal. Why go to the effort to expose your back tattoo only to wear a bikini top and completely detract from the overall effect? With the abundance of commercially available support systems for breasts (and backless clothing) you'd think it wouldn't be difficult to complete the ensemble in the neatest way possible.
- This is our very own SuicideGirl LaMiss. Her outfit is classy and stunning. A perfect example of giving people a glance of your tattoo work without flashing everything. I only wonder how she was keeping warm outside before and after the convention?
- It seems like at every convention I've attended there's been an old lady or two that have helped me embrace my body ageing. I really can't wait to be an old lady, proud of my tattoos and most importantly proud of my fashion sense. She was hanging out at the Sunny Buick stand and was one of the most approachable and friendly people I have ever met at a tattoo convention. A real icon!
- This is a big no-no. Wearing tops that are too small for you (and this shiny) in a vague attempt at showing off every single tattoo on your upper torso just really isn't worth it. I think she would have been better off wearing just her bra. The back of this top was so bad I couldn't bring myself to take a photo.
- Although very unattractive and usually a big EN-OH these Adidas "rip" trousers are actually great for being tattooed. I'd never thought about it before, and this is a perfect example of them being put to practical use. I congratulate this gentleman on an innovative use of a fashion mishap and a very creepy tattoo.
- Last but certainly not least is the best tribal cliché of the weekend. Earlier on in the day he had been walking around topless but due to the crowds I'd been unable to stop him for a photo. Unfortunately (or not) at this point he'd reclothed himself. The worst thing about this outfit for me is the truly terrible socks and giant backpack with what seemed to be all of his worldly possessions.
All in all I enjoyed my time at the Milan Convention and I'd highly recommend it to tattoo enthusiasts out there. There are always a large number of world famous artists, and the atmosphere is fun. However, I desperately encourage you think twice about your convention wardrobe.
The Happiest Place on Earth: Italy Opens Sex Parks
Screw the love shacks, get busy outdoors in Italy's newly announced amusement parks. Founder and entrepreneur Giuseppe Foggetti has announced a park where young lovers can make passionate love on the tantalizing comforts of a park bench.
A park where young couples can have sex freely looks set to open in Italy. The recreational area is meant for those who find it hard to be intimate because the high price of Italian property forces them to live with their parents longer.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Used Condom National Park.
The park is located in the southern port of Bari, Italy, but it's not free. The park charges a ₤2 admittance fee plus an additional ₤1 for every half-hour that you do the nasty. The ₤1 per half-hour may seem expensive, but it is a package deal, with both privacy and security thrown in according to Foggetti:
My idea was to create a place for those that want to spend intimate moments together without thinking whether someone would be shocked if they saw it. I intend to offer security and privacy.
Come see the natural beauty and wonders at Shocked and Awed National Park today!
Silvio Berlusconi: A Loser and a Cheater?
Silvio Berlusconi could well be counted as one of the major political casualties of the Iraq war. His close allegiance with George W. Bush in the "war on terror" permanently aligned him in the public eye with the war in Iraq, despite Italy's relatively modest contribution to the war effort. His domination of the media in Italy guaranteed a virtual lock on his reelection despite his relative unpopularity just due to the ubiquity of positive coverage from his own networks. Except that it didn't work. He lost the general election in a tight race that was perceived as a referendum on his relationship with the US and commitment to Iraq. What's even funnier, however, is that recent allegations have surfaced that Berlusconi tried to fix the election, and still couldn't pull it off.
The allegation is made in a documentary entitled Kill Democracy being given out on Friday with a left-wing magazine.
The authors say blank ballots were fraudulently counted in favour of Mr Berlusconi's centre-right coalition.
Former Interior Minister Giuseppe Pisanu, who oversaw the vote, said the claims were "false and libellous".
Mr Pisanu said he welcomed the investigation "because it will surely serve to erase even the remotest of doubts".
[...]
The film notes that every election in the past 60 years has seen about 1.5 million blank votes, while there were fewer than 500,000 in April's election.
The authors suggest that a computer program allowed the interior ministry to change blank votes.
Mr Berlusconi's Forza Italia colleagues have denied any wrongdoing and say they are considering legal action against the magazine.
Proving the allegations could be difficult, especially as Berlusconi is still running a major media empire that would not benefit from the discovery of any scandals, so there will be considerable pressure to eliminate any evidence of wrongdoing if it did occur. And the fact of the matter is that proving Berlusconi's political organization to be cheaters would serve little purpose except to further humiliate the man who had hoped to dominate Italian politics for the next decade. But it would still be damned funny.