• commentary
  • TUESDAY APRIL 15 2008 2:00 PM

George vs. George

In 1776, Thomas Jefferson and a few of his friends, also known as the Second Continental Congress, drafted and sent an interesting document to soon-to-be-nut job King George III, the latest in a long line of German twits invited to be king. This document became known to history as The United States Declaration of Independence. You might have heard of it. It was in all the papers.

Included in this weighty document is a list of charges and complaints against the British Government, in the person of King George III. This list highlighted the reasons the Colonies were willing to go to war to become independent of the British Empire. Because of these crimes, there was a rather important war, and eventually a new country.

In 2000, the SCOTUS ignored the citizens and installed George W. Bush to the office of POTUS. Eight years have passed, and W. is just about ready to flee to Paraguay as soon as January, 2009 rolls around. But before he goes, I’d like to play a little game I’ve called . . .

George Vs. George

George III


He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.



George W.
Veto of healthcare for children

George III


He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.



George W.
Gay Marriage becomes the major issue of 2004 elections, while ignoring the war.

George III


He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.



George W.
Veto of Stem Cell Research

George III


He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.



George W.
Email Deletion Scandal . . . Hard to keep records when they disappear

George III


He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.



George W.
Powell chased off by Bush and cronies

George III


He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.



George W.
Election Theft

George III


He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.



George W.
Stupid Fence
Stupid Immigration Laws

George III


He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.



George W.
In-Justice Department

George III


He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.



George W.
Office of Homeland Security, maybe?

George III


He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.



George W.
Surge grows, against wishes of population

George III


He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.



George W.
Patraeus and his non-answers

George III


He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.



George W.

Iraq War, Tax cuts for wealthy and big business, the lost of world standing, suspending habeus corpus, Guantanamo . . . Not linked because they have been explained to death.

George III


He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.



George W.
Recession, anyone?

George III


He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.



George W.
Canadian citizen sent by U.S. to Syria, where he was tortured

George III


He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.



George W.
Domestic spying and the society of fear since 9/11.

George III


He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.



George W.
Sounds like the partisan divide and the bitch-fighting between the “left” and the “right.”

George III


In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.



George W.

  • commentary
  • WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 20 2006 7:00 PM

Chav Demonizes Bush

Well it took some doing. I really didn't think anyone could beat Iranian President Ahmadinejad's U.N. speech.

I mean, how do you top a lecture on human rights from the leader of a barbaric, terrorist-funding, homophobic, misogynist theocracy?

Mahmud went on to express his longing for the advent of “the perfect human being” (the legendary 12th Imam who, according to the tenets of Mahmud’s sect, will come out of hiding when the world is truly screwed).

Bestow upon humanity that thirsts for justice, the perfect human being promised to all by You, and make us among his followers and among those who strive for his return and his cause.


Well Hugo Chavez was seemingly inspired by the challenge and actually managed to out do his holocaust-denying, Iranian buddy.

Venezuela's leader Hugo Chavez has called US President George W Bush "the devil" in a speech at the United Nations General Assembly.

"The devil came here yesterday," he said, referring to Mr Bush's speech on Tuesday. "It still smells of sulphur today," he added.


Classy bit of diplomacy, there Hugo. Mind you, that's got to be a compliment coming from Chav. I mean anyone who loves Castro, hugs Ahmadinejad and plugs Chomsky can't be the best judge of character.

Mr Chavez, who brandished a copy of American leftist writer Noam Chomsky's Hegemony or Survival: America's Quest for Global Dominance, said Mr Bush promoted "a false democracy of the elite" and a "democracy of bombs".


Funnily enough, a "democracy of bombs" seems to be the direction that El Presidente wants to take Venezuela (although I'm not sure "democracy" is entirely the right word).

The new darling of the left is using his oil money to stock up on Russian weaponry and turn Venezuela into an "impregnable fortress".

Venezuela has ordered Antonov airplanes and 14 gunship helicopters, the nationalist-leftist told the air force academy in a speech Tuesday night in the central city of Maracay.

'If you want peace, prepare for war, and that is what we are doing,' he said, adding that he wanted to significantly raise the level of the entire 'anti-imperialist armed forces.'

'We have to safeguard our national sovereignty against the aggressors of always,' said the president who has had an antagonistic relationship with the United States since he took office in 1999.


Don't flatter yourself sweetie.