Hello, minions. After a week absence, I have returned. I apologize for not being there for you on Tuesday. An Asshole Fuckface entered my right eustachian...

One of the great things about Obama taking over is we get to watch corrupt, horrible government employees lose their jobs. Take the Pentagon. Last month,...

[Editor's note: OhSoOrdinary submitted this article from Iraq, where she is currently serving with the U.S. Army.] A great deal of our mission here...

If God said, "Thou shalt not kill," how can belief in God be a prerequisite for military service? With the shitstorm in Iraq resulting in (among...

George Bush is such a colossal fuck up it is astounding. Every choice the administration makes in Iraq turns out to be the wrong choice. Their latest...

First of all, happy fucking birthday, Iraq War. You’ve had a rough couple of years and only the retarded seem to like you. You drew the short stick.

There is much confusion about who was the very first Asshole Fuckface. I get many letters and today I will finally reveal the answer: Pope Gregory XIII.

In Turkey, Saturday is actually known as Asshole Fuckface day, because Turkey was the home of the Ottoman Empire and home to the very first Asshole Fuckface.

Yes, you. I think you are fucking disgusting. Wait, I take that back. I only think you're disgusting if you are an American citizen; you Brits and...

We are seeking qualified men to work in an exciting desert environment! Do you want to enjoy sun, fun and a "no rules" lifestyle? Are you currently...

The incident in question occurred nearly a year-and-a-half ago, but is just now coming to light.

(image) Welcome to the Asshole Fuckface Roundup. Not many people know the origins of the Roundup. We have to go all the way back to Paris in the Year...

(image) One of the big arguments for the pro-war crowd is that we just can’t leave those Iraqis alone after invading and setting off a world of chaos.

(image) Volume 10 of the FTR series in which he puts the word "fuck" in front of a presidential candidate's name. The presidential primary...

(image) Hezbollah was started in 1982 by a group of Muslim clerics, with a lot of help from Iran, after Israel invaded Lebanon. Iranian Revolutionary...

(image) America is birthing a new Oliver North right now. It is a painful process because first we have to find a guy who is totally fucking over the country...

(image) It is fascinating to watch Democrats make such stupid decisions when picking presidential candidates. We can go back to the eighties and take a...

(image) Condoleezza Rice was having an irony blow out yesterday as she traveled the world and babbled from her mouth. Our Secretary of State decided to...

(image) I would like to think otherwise, but a strong case can now be made that the Democrats are not stopping the Iraq war because they know it will kill...

(image) If only there had been a way to get rid of Saddam Hussein without going to war. If only that evil dictator had not forced us to invade and send...

(image) Iceland is wrapping up their participation in the Iraq war. Up until today, the island nation was an integral part of the coalition of the willing.

(image) On Monday General Petraeus, commander of forces in Iraq, testified before congress. He gave his assessment of conditions in Iraq and of the progress...

(image) RAMADI, IRAQ – After spending some time in and around Baghdad with the United States military I visited the city of Ramadi, the capital of Iraq’s...

(image) On September 15th, Bush will release his carefully picked over and re-written version of General Petraeus’ report. That is the report Congress...

(image) George Bush went to Western Iraq yesterday to pose for cameras in a pathetic attempt to show that his surge is working. But he did much more than...

(image) The British have begun leaving their last base in Basra. 550 soldiers are withdrawing from the Basra Palace and heading to an airbase seven miles...

(image) Today is the day that Washington finally flushes a turd that's been stinking America up for years. Yes, Karl Rove is leaving the White House...

(image) My Dad once told me that making a deal with the devil is like owning a Rolex clock radio -- sure, it sounds like a great idea... but its something...

(image) MUSHADAH, IRAQ – “Al Qaeda terrifies locals,” said Major Mike Garcia from Canyon, Texas, before he put me in a convoy of Humvees with 18 American...

(image) BAGHDAD – American soldiers arrived in Iraq in 2003 with not much of a plan and little idea what to expect. The Iraqi government, military, and...

(image) You may have heard of William Mulholland. He was the chief engineer of the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power and an arrogant douche bag.

(image) Morale is a big deal in the Army. If morale is down, people do substandard work, they aren’t as motivated and things simply don’t go as smoothly.

(image) “Please, sir, can you help me? I must work with Americans, because my psychology is demolished by Saddam Hussein. Not just me. All Iraqis. Psychological...

(image) Operation Straight Up is an evangelical group of entertainers who are about to embark on a trip to Iraq, where they will entertain the shit out...

(image) July 30, 2007 Baghdad Raid Night By Michael J. Totten (image) BAGHDAD – “We want to use you as bait,” Sergeant Eduardo Ojeda from Los Angeles,...

(image) There is nothing more horrible than trying scoot away from a bomb because you don't have legs, but that is the situation thousands of Iraqis...

(image) In the Wake of the Surge By Michael J. Totten (image) BAGHDAD – 82nd Airborne’s Lieutenant William H. Lord from Foxborough, Massachusetts, prepared...

(image) Bringing Democracy to Iraq has been a difficult task. As much as we want the country to follow in our footsteps, it seems it may never happen.

(image) Yesterday Bush gave a delightfully refreshing speech on the state of the war in Iraq and the threat we face from terrorists. I highlighted the...