Last week the Republicans held two debates. To say it was like watching aliens would be an understatement. This could be the most idiotic group of men ever to run for the White House. Their understanding of the world is childlike and their solutions even more so. When one of these men is elected (steals) to the presidency, we are completely fucked as a nation. I do not see how we could possibly survive another four years of this ignorant bullshit.

They have no intention of moving away from the great policies of George Bush, because obviously he has done such an awesome job. It is completely baffling that five adults can sit on stage during a debate, in the year 2008, and argue over who backs the president more. Now, I expect stupidity from these fucking morons and I am rarely disturbed by their caveman grunts and screams, but when the topic turned to terrorism and they ganged up on poor Ron Paul, I kind of lost it.

Don’t get me wrong; I think Ron Paul is an idiot. Besides his views of foreign policy, he may be the most moronic of them all. Yet, he is very intelligent and thoughtful when it comes to foreign policy.

Ron Paul made the mistake of pointing out that we should take responsibility for our policies that led to 9/11. Seems like a position that any mature, reasoned man would take. If someone attacks me, there is usually a reason. Strange people just don’t walk up to me on the street and punch me in the face. That is just not how life works.

Here is Paul’s statement that set off the idiots:

Oh, how dare you speak the obvious! This is a Republican debate, thinker! A good-looking retard named Mitt was the first to respond.

All? I have missed the attacks on Iceland? Also, Switzerland, Finland, blah, blah, you get the point. It’s a hollow and bullshit argument. The countries that have been attacked have mostly been those whom helped us with Iraq and Afghanistan. What the terrorists are trying to do is bring down governments that are not moderate, like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Egypt. You know, the dictatorships that the US props up. Anyone who is using just 1% of his or her brain should know this.

Mitt then goes into a rant in which he says we should thank George Bush for keeping us safe. Just ignore the horrible attacks on our allies, Spain and England, as well as the many Australians targeted and killed in Bali.

That’s when old, lazy Fred Thompson jumps in and brags about his experience and nearly fingers himself because of it. All his experience has apparently taught him that crazy Muslims are bad. Whodda thunk?

Thank God Rudy was there to set everyone straight.

Wow, you gave back $10 million dollars because somebody said we should change our foreign policy, and actually have the nerve to brag about your moronic, heinous decision? For those of you who don’t know what the Twin Towers Fund is:

Only a great, educated, selfless man would turn down $10 million dollars for families of dead rescue workers because the donator said the US should take a look at its foreign policy. He rejected money for grieving families because of a TRUTHFUL comment. Rudy Giuliani is a viper. Thank God he wasn't done.

That is pretty much the psychotic view of things, yes. He a stain on face of the Earth and someone needs to get a sponge.

It is over? No fucking way. Ron Paul then attempts to explain to the idiots why foreigners, who suffer at the hands of our foreign policy, are upset because we attempt to force our beliefs on them. Romney calmly lets us know why he is retarded again.

Rudy cackles! Because it’s fun! It is fun how crazy Ron Paul is being with his well thought out criticisms of our foreign policy and his belief that there is usually a cause for violent attacks. Calling the truth propaganda is pretty much all we can expect from “Republicans” these days. Romney then makes a statement that causes me to shit on myself.

Are you fucking kidding me? You want to be our president, you hideous, retarded fuck? You have just made a statement about an assassination, as if it was fact, for which there is no proof. No evidence exists to back up this claim. None. You are a liar and a deviant and very, very dangerous. Also, you are retarded.

Then Fred Thompson jumps back in with some really important questions:

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. WE DO HAVE AIR BASES. Here is a grown man, running for president of the United States, mocking the truth. MOCKING. The US bases in Saudi Arabia have been the number one recruiting tool for al Qaeda, or at least they were until the war in Iraq. Maybe dipshit should have learned that when he was getting all that “experience” as a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee. It’s okay to read, even if you are an actor.

Are we done yet? Sadly, no. Huckabee then breaks down the problem in a way his Christian minions will understand: Islamofascism. Which, is, uh, something that does not exist. It is not real. There are no Islamofascists. There are radical Muslims and there are fascists, but there is no such thing as an Islamofascist. Huckabee is a retarded moron.

Well, thanks for that, Innocent the Third. You don’t mind if I call you a fucking tool, right? This is an embarrassing position for any man running for president of the United States to take. It is so completely void of thought and reason that it is shocking.

Last week’s debate was disturbing to watch. It is amazing to witness five men speaking to one man like he is a fool, when he is actually correct. And I don’t for a minute believe that any of these clowns actually believe they are speaking the truth. They cannot. Because any man who has achieved the amount of power they have is not a moron. They are only taking this position because they have polled the base and they are catering to their ignorant beliefs, instead of explaining the truth. That is the opposite of a leader. These men are cowards.

Enjoy their brains.



We should greatly fear the day one of these assholes takes over the White House.

The race for the Republican nomination is a complete disaster. Each candidate is coming apart at the seams in spectacular fashion and it is truly delightful to witness. As of right now, Republicans do not have a candidate for president who is not badly damaged.

Let us start with Rudy Giuliani. Rudy is extremely thankful today for the Bush administrations shocking lies about Iran’s nuclear capabilities because his Shag Fund Scandal is off the front page – for now. But it is a long campaign and the allegations will dog Rudy the entire race. Let me recap Rudy’s shit storm.

Rudy used funds from little known city agencies to cover the cost of security when he took trips to the Hamptons to bang his mistress. Then it was revealed that Rudy used the NYPD as a taxi service to drive his mistress to Pennsylvania to see her parents, as well as around the city whenever she wanted. And best of all, he made the cops walk her dog. There is nothing a big city cop loves more than to walk and pick up the shit of the mayor's mistress' dog.

Also last week, it was revealed that Rudy went to a fundraiser
hosted by a convicted criminal, was lobbying for earmarks for 14 companies while campaigning against earmarks, does business with a Sheik who has close ties to Osama bin Laden and had his stump speech ripped apart by the New York Times for making claims that are "are incomplete, exaggerated or just plain wrong." Rudy is a walking disaster.

Next up was Mitt Romney and his illegal immigrant employee nightmare. For a Democratic candidate any sort of black mark in regards to immigration would not be that big of a deal, but the Republicans expect to run on the issue this year. It is the new gay marriage, which means any candidate who is not squeaky clean is in trouble with the base. And Mitt stepped into a big pile of Mitt this week.

During last week’s retarded YouTube debate, Mitt kept accusing Rudy of helping out immigrants by turning New York into a “sanctuary city.” Rudy fired back that Mitt had employed illegal aliens at his home in the past. Rudy was referring to a Boston Globe story from December 2006, which accused Mitt of hiring a landscaping company that employed illegal aliens. Mitt said he took care of the situation and made it clear to the landscaping company that no illegal aliens were to work on his property.

So, the day after the debate, the Boston Globe went back to Mitt's house and guess what they found? Illegal aliens working on the shrubbery. I am shocked and heart broken.

Now the Republican horde is losing their minds. Right wing message boards are working overtime attacking Mitt and his villainous behavior. He basically shit on America and everyone knows it. Good luck, Mitt! Just be thankful that you didn’t get a rapist out of prison so he could rape and kill people. That honor goes to Mike Huckabee and this week it came to the attention of the nation.

Now, that could certainly happen to any governor. Of course, the fact that Huckabee showed Dumond so much respect and kindness was very odd.

“Dear Wayne.” Are you kidding? You just opened a letter to a rapist with “Dear?” What an asshole. If I ever write a letter to a rapist, it will start with, "Hey Fuckface."

Dumond’s previous victims begged Huckabee not to release the rapist because they were certain he would rape again, but his time they were afraid he would kill his victim to make sure she could not finger him for the crime. Huckabee went ahead with the parole anyway. Why he did so is even creepier than the parole itself: Bill Clinton.

Turns out Dumond was convicted and sentenced for raping a distant cousin of Bill Clinton, so the right wing became convinced that Dumond was innocent. They had no evidence other than the fact that the rape victim was related to Clinton. The right wing put massive pressure on Huckabee to release Dumond. New York Post columnist Steve Dunleavy was on a mission, writing such beautiful prose as, the “So-called victim” and "That rape never happened." Eventually, Huckabee was either convinced Dumond was framed (probably not) or thought he could score points with the right wing (yes) by setting a rapist free.

Now Huckabee is running for president and he has a rapist albatross hanging around his neck. Good luck with that.

That is not such a good week for the three Republican front runners, is it? But we can also take a moment to look at the pure insanity coming from the bottom of the pack.



Wow, just throw "Jew" in there and you've got a piece of propaganda straight out of Nazi Germany.

A train wreck falling on a car crash.

Thirty-one days until the corn engorged people of Iowa shuffle into voting booths and pick from the saddest field of GOP candidates in a long, long time. Then the insane mountain lunatics from New Hampshire will follow five days later. At that point I expect a name to emerge that will scare the shit out of every sane person in the country: Huckabee.

Huckabee pretty much annihilated the competition in Wednesday’s Republican debate, which has led to another bounce. It’s not his first bounce, either. He got one from the Ames Straw poll in August and has been rising ever since.

A December 1st poll of Republican voters shows Huckabee pulling ahead in Iowa for the first time. In early October, the same poll had Mitt Romney ahead by 17 percentage points. Shit, Huckabee used to be behind the walking corpse called Fred Thompson. But now the Christian psycho is on a roll.

It doesn't look as good for Huckabee in New Hampshire, where he is sitting in the middle of the pack, but also rising. With 15%, he has his highest support yet in New Hampshire and is way up from the 4% he had in September. Romney is kicking ass in the militia state, while Giuliani and McCain are slipping down. Huckabee should get a big bounce if he wins Iowa and could easily close on Romney.

Giuliani is collapsing into a giant shit heap. He has slipped into third in Iowa with 13% and is tied for second place in New Hampshire with Huckabee and McCain. But in New Hampshire he is trending down. Also, he has some major electability problems in Iowa.

Those are not good numbers, considering they are coming from his party. Giuliani's new Shag Fund scandal should completely doom him, unless of course, conservatives are okay with a guy having the NYPD pay for his fuck trips, act like a cab for his mistress and her friends around town, drive her to her parents house in Pennsylvania and walk her dog. Yes, he had cops walk his mistress’ dog. He’s done.

Fred Thompson is fourth in Iowa, but there is no reason to even discuss him.

McCain is pretty screwed as well. He’s sitting in fifth in Iowa with 7% and second in New Hampshire with 15%. With his kind of name recognition he should be doing much better. And contrary to what Ron Paul’s insane followers want you to think, he is just a zit on the ass of the Republican field. Paul is tied with McCain for fifth in Iowa and in New Hampshire has a whopping 8%. But that is not the worst news for Paul.

Iowa:

New Hampshire:

Paul is plowing forward with a lot of cash but Republicans just don’t like him. All he has been able to do is catch the already dead McCain in Iowa. Congrats, loser.

Shut the fuck up. Ron Paul already lost.

This race is looking like Huckabee and Mitt Romney. Mitt has decent numbers in Iowa and fantastic numbers in New Hampshire. Much of that is due to the fact that Romney has completely out spent his fellow candidates in the two states.

Unfortunately, he is now slipping in Iowa and has dropped five points since October to 24% as of last week. But in New Hampshire, Romney is a Mormon freight train.

You go, girl.

The key fact in this mess is that Huckabee hasn’t been spending money. He’s been doing it all with a grass roots following, public appearances and through debates. Now that Huckabee is ahead in Iowa, expect him to get a massive infusion of cash and become a serious contender for president. Right now he has the best chance. Scary.

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell held his tongue for four years during his tenure as the Bush Administration’s chief foreign policy officer, faithfully toeing the party line when he was asked to do so. It was Powell who made the now infamous Iraq war presentation in front of the U.N. Security Council, forcefully declaring the case for war. Of course, the evidence in that presentation has turned out to be nearly universally false and as a result Powell’s credibility has been forever damaged. While it is not certain how much he knew was false before he gave the speech, all indications are that he considers it the low point of his political career, as he told Barbara Walters in 2005.

Still, Powell’s resignation from Bush’s cabinet does not mean he’s given up political posturing altogether. Two years ago he called two Senators to voice his opposition to the nomination of John Bolton as US Ambassador to the UN. Today, he formally opposed another hot-button Bush project: the military detention camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

It is indeed what our system is about, Mr. Powell, but try telling that to President W.

It’s unclear whether Powell’s remarks come as an attempt to atone for past sins or as an earnest attempt to speak out about important matters of state. It is however very clear that Powell has not lost his grasp on the concept of international relations.

Seems like a pretty basic principle of diplomacy. When you’re trying to present yourselves as the world’s leader on freedom and democracy, it comes off extremely hypocritical to gleefully suspend the rights of others in a systematic fashion. Still, some others on the right just aren’t getting it.

Huckabee’s remarks are predictably moronic. I guess “every consideration” does not include stuff like access to attorneys. That would be going above and beyond, I suppose. And while I’m sure he’s right that the treatment the Gitmo detainees receive is super peachy keen, his argument that we should keep them in Guantanamo because otherwise they’ll be flying planes into buildings is total hogwash. If they are criminals, they can be convicted of crimes. If they are not criminals, they should be let free. As Powell said, that is indeed what our system is about.

Liberals, like myself for example, like to blame the Bush Administration for a lot of stuff. Usually, we’re justified in doing so. Powell’s comments today and Huckabee’s response to them made me think of something else we can righteously pin on Bush: were it not for the warmongers in the White House enlisting Powell as their invasion salesman four years ago, we might now have a Republican presidential candidate that knows their ass from a hole in the ground. Instead, they ruined his career.

Thanks, Bush Administration. You dickholes.