How To Get Your Band Signed To A Record Label
by Pandie Suicide
Getting signed is at the top of a lot of bands to-do lists. It marks the pinnacle of their careers, a sign that you’re really ‘making it.’ But with things the way that they are in this digital age, the whole industry structure of record labels, who historically found bands and other artists, signed them for a (sometimes) nice advance, then released, promoted, and distributed the album (or at least oversaw all of this happening)… has changed.
[Lelaina in Graf Park]
Nowadays, the industry has been reduced to a few select major labels, and many smaller, more independent or niche labels, due to the availability of every flavour of music in the world online for free or otherwise – CD’s in some ways are becoming obsolete. Even the concept of an album is becoming somewhat redundant in some aspects – when individual tracks are available on iTunes for 99c a piece, why wouldn’t you just purchase the three songs you like most, rather than paying ten bucks for the whole thing?
Some musicians today are bypassing the traditional record company route and going guerrilla-style with great results, such as my buddy DJ FM of Psycho Realm, who sold something like 10,000 copies of his Mixtape (on CD not cassette!) out of the trunk of his car, or Mary Magdalan who made a living off their homemade albums by selling them on iTunes and on self-pressed CDs at shows with good results. Many other bands, simply record/produce their own album and obtain distribution through stores like Best Buy etc themselves, completely bypassing the record company – and keeping all of the profits. Record companies definitely take a cut of your profits, but there is a reason for this, unless you’re a master of the internet or a self-promoting guru, it is a lot harder to do EVERYTHING, from writing to recording to pressing to releasing to promoting to distributing etc, the album by yourself, and it can be really hard to get that “household name” success of the Beatles, or Beyonce or Marilyn Manson without a major or large indie, label backing you up. It’s not impossible, but it is a lot harder, and if you’re up for the challenge, more power to you!
It’s not all bad news though, there are success stories everyday, and with the advent of the internet, it may really be a blessing in disguise rather than the end of record labels forever, as new and innovative ways to utilize this medium are discovered for finding bands, promoting bands and sell, sell, selling bands. A huge return to the ‘live’ experience has happened also, where playing live shows is so important, with music so easy to obtain online and offline, fans want the authentic experience of a live show, and it can be the make or break way to prove yourself as the “real thing” to a world that has just soo much music in it. So it is definitely important to work on your live show, and use the internet to give yourself a presence online for fans, friends and record labels to take notice and interact with you, most of which is important whether you want a label or not.
But after all this, if you still want to get signed in this strange digital age, I’ve come up with a few pieces of advice for you, some from insiders at record labels, music managers and success stories:
“The best advice I could give to any band who is trying to make career in music and looking to sign with a record label is TOUR TOUR TOUR! Buy a van and trailer, start booking your own shows and networking and don’t look back. The more shows you play the tighter your band will get, the more connections you will make all over the country, and you will gain real fans who will come back and support you next time you come to their town. Second piece of advice would be make sure you interact with your fans as often as possible, via twitter, facebook, live chats, and most importantly at shows. Hang out, don’t play your set and then disappear to your van for the rest of the night, hang out and interact with fans and other bands. If a label can see that you’re working hard promoting your own band, interacting with your fans, and touring as much as humanly possible they will be more likely to sign your band because they know that you already have a solid fan base who supports your band and will buy the records that the label puts out. A lot of people who start new bands think that they can sit at home and record a great album and submit it to a label and everything else will fall into place. It doesn’t work that way at all.” – Tim Patenaude, Metal Blade Records
“Make sure your shit is dope” and get your stuff on YouTube and get that YouTube page looking amazing because – “YouTube is the most visited website in the world, and the player is BETTER than MySpace” – Scott Koenig, King Artist Management, managing Fear Factory, Divine Heresy, Yeti, By Any Means Necessary
Read Music Connection religiously. You can download a PFD of the magazine or even just certain pages that interest you, all for free. It features inside info on the music industry and is a trade publication for musicians, bookers, label people, publicity people, music publishers and more. It contains invaluable information for bands, for example, the current issue features a “26th annual directory of rehearsal studios – 175 contacts!” and “7 ways to be more effective on Facebook”, “Kill or be killed 24 foolproof ways to improve your LIVE gigs” a “Q & A with the Devil Wears Prada” and more scintillating, useful articles as well as profiling important people in the industry. What is even more to your advantage though, as an up and coming band, is the fact that Music Connection has several pages where it features reviews and profiles of unsigned/ newly signed bands, albums and performances, along with artist’s contact info etc, and if you sign up on musicconnection.com with your band’s info and submit yourself, (which I highly recommend) you may get into the magazine, and not only will you have a nice clipping for your mum, but you might just be seen by people who count.
Having said that, get as much press as possible – if you have an album already, send it to magazines both online and offline for review, send it to radio stations, especially college radio – they love unsigned bands, offer yourselves up for interviews – and work on your interview skills, the more interesting/ intelligent/ funny etc you come across as, the more chance you have of being published and therefore noticed by potential fans or record labels. That said, try to be authentic, you want to present the best image possible in an interview and get the best info about yourselves out there, but you still want it to be your image and info, not somebody else’s!
Make friends in the industry! (aka “networking” but nicer) I don’t mean be all fake and “Hollywood” about it, but a little politeness and courtesy can go a long way. However, if you can cultivate real friendships within the industry, and it shouldn’t be too hard – these people have one big interest in common with you, they all love music – you will go far. It’s like any industry really, the whole “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” does, unfortunately, (or fortunately?) apply. That said, don’t ruin a good friendship by being too pushy with your friend at the label, or step on anyone’s toes, and don’t expect to get signed just because your friend’s Dad is a shareholder in Interscope or something, it might help, but there’s only so much a friend can do, the rest is up to you – make sure your demo/album/ live performance/youtube channel/twitter etc is up to scratch before you try to call in that favour, because if what you give your buddy is a piece of unfinished crap, and they take a chance on you, they will probably never help you again when you give birth to your real masterpiece.
Spend some time in LA playing shows at whatever clubs you can – you never know who might be there. Good places to play include anywhere along the historic Sunset Strip, such as the Key Club, Whisky A Go Go, The Roxy, Viper Room and various Hollywood Clubs which also look great on your resume or band Wikipedia page. As well, this time in LA is a great opportunity to make some friends (see above), record, mix or master a new record, do some publicity or set up some meetings with potential labels, bookers etc.
Good luck!!!!
NSFW - iPhone 4, pictures videos and boobs galore
Reagan and I got our hands on a couple of new iPhone 4's yesterday and decided to go test out the new camera with Sash and Rambo yesterday on Hollywood Blvd.
There are a lot of new functionality when you open the camera.
The lightening bolt in the upper left hand corner allows you to adjust the flash - Off, Auto or On
The camera twist icon allows you to switch between lenses, either the one facing you or the traditional outward facing lens.
The camera - video slider allows you to toggle between the two like in the 3Gs.
You can selectively focus as well and once you are focused on something you can zoom in or out with a +/- slider that appears with a double tap.
* One unexpected feature is that when you point it at Rambo her boob pops out.
Here is a full NSFW gallery of our rigorous testing on Hollywood Blvd.
Overall the flash while bright is only really effective if used close-in.
The images when zoomed are not the best quality.
The files are HUGE when they come out of the camera. 1935 x 2592 pixels.
Click to see the full resolution
We took some video of our adventures as well.
Sash lost a bet and had to walk back to the office without her pants on, Donald Duck style (shirt and no pants)
The coolest feature of the new iPhone 4 though has to be FaceTime
You can live video chat with other people who have the iPhone 4. It is like living in The Jetsons. Although you can only use FaceTime when you are on wifi, which is probably for the best considering AT&T's coverage issues.
The screen resolution is also pretty great 4 times the pixels.
All in all the camera and screen resolution are a vast improvement over the 3Gs. Network coverage is still dicey at best and the steel surround antennae to boost the signal has not proven very effective for me at least.
The iOS 4 software update has a host of other features like app folders, background image, camera zoom, etc.
Available today from Apple
xoxo
-missy
Ed McMahon Passes Away
Tonight Show sidekick, Star Search host, Publisher's Clearing House pitchman, muscular dystrophy telethon co-host, blooper magnate...Edward Leo Peter McMahon Jr. did it all in over 50 years in the business. Sadly, Ed left this world earlier this morning at the age of 86.
McMahon died shortly after midnight at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center surrounded by his wife, Pam, and other family members, said his publicist, Howard Bragman.
Bragman didnt give a cause of death, saying only that McMahon had a multitude of health problems the last few months.
McMahon had bone cancer, among other illnesses, according to a person close to the entertainer, and had been hospitalized for several weeks. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because he wasnt authorized to release the information.
McMahon is, of course, best known for his time as second fiddle (and frequent butt of jokes) to Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show. With a booming "Heeeeeere's Johnny," a bow, and a seat next to Carson's desk, Ed helped put Americans to bed for 30 years until Carson retired in 1992.
You cant imagine hooking up with a guy like Carson, McMahon said in an interview with The Associated Press in 1993. Theres the old phrase, hook your wagon to a star. I hitched my wagon to a great star.
McMahon, who never failed to laugh at his Carsons quips, kept his supporting role in perspective.
Its like a pitcher who has a favorite catcher, he said. The pitcher gets a little help from the catcher, but the pitchers got to throw the ball. Well, Johnny Carson had to throw the ball, but I could give him a little help.
McMahon also served as pitchman for a number of companies, including Budweiser, Texas Instruments, and Mercedes-Benz., as well as the aforementioned Publisher's Clearing House. How many of us have cursed Ed's name because we were not already a winner?
During the 2009 Super Bowl, McMahon appeared in a commercial with MC Hammer for Cash4Gold, parodying his own financial troubles that plagued him in his later years.
The tributes from fellow entertainers have already started to surface, further proving McMahon's legacy in Hollywood is everlasting.
David Letterman and Paul Shaffer:
"Ed McMahon's voice at 11:30 was a signal that something great was about to happen. Ed's introduction of Johnny was a classic broadcasting ritual reassuring and exciting," Letterman said, adding, "We will miss him."
Letterman's bandleader, Paul Shaffer, said McMahon "defined professionalism in broadcasting."
Tonight Show bandleader Doc Severinson:
"He will be sorely missed. He was one of the greats in show business, but most of all he was a gentleman. I miss my friend," Severinson said in a statement.
David Brenner (comedian and frequent Tonight Show guest/guest host):
"One of the best times in my career was to substitute host 75 times for Johnny Carson and have Ed McMahon on my right hand side," said comedian David Brenner. "God now has the best sidekick with Him."
I disagree. More like Johnny Carson has his sidekick back. And wherever they are, they are together and getting ready to make people laugh again.
McMahon's career has spanned much more than I've touched upon here, but I leave you with some more choice moments.
Rest in peace, Ed.
thefreak has cursed the fact many a time he was born too young to watch Carson in his prime. Gotta love YouTube.
Righty Hollywood Baby Festival
Wow, that John Voight op-ed in the Washington Times really set off a right wing Hollywood wont let conservatives talk festival of tears. They seized upon the words of some entertainment blogger and went back on the warpath. Its not surprising. Artists are the one thing the right wing will never able to control in this country. Ever. And they cant handle it.
On the 28th of July, Voight penned one of the dumbest op-eds I have ever read. It was mind bogglingly stupid. John Wells, of Hollywood-elsewhere.com, didnt think it was the most brilliant piece either and he finished off a blog entry with this sentence.
If I were a producer and I had to make a casting decision about hiring Voight or some older actor who hadn't pissed me off with an idiotic Washington Times op-ed piece, I might very well say to myself, "Voight? Let him eat cake."
The right wing, of course, went bat shit fucking crazy. How dare Hollywood threaten a man for speaking his mind! Its blacklisting! Its Nazism!
Uh, not so much. Its actually just a blogger writing in the moment, being pissed off and hoping something like that would happen. Guess what? It wasnt Steven Spielberg saying it. It wasnt Sumner Redstone saying it. It wasnt Tom Cruise saying it. Nope, it was someone with absolutely zero power saying it. It was about as important as the janitor at MGM saying it. But that certainly didnt stop the right wing from losing their minds or John Voight condemning the blacklisting.
Its out of line to insinuate that we should blacklist people for speaking their minds, Voight told Politico. Its a strange thing when people in this country cant express their opinions without being attacked. He added that Hollywood liberals frequently discuss topical issues, and its an important time for people on the conservative side to speak out.
First of all, fuck off, you idiot. Wells did not call for a blacklist, he just stated that a producer might think twice about wanting to spend time around someone who appears to be a blow hard idiot. Thats what it comes down to. Look, Voight is no longer a good actor. He is capable of delivering what is needed in movies like The Transformers. Nobody thinks of Voight when a juicy role comes along. Hes a limited character actor and they try to keep their personal life out of the spotlight as much as possible, because baggage harms their ability to be chameleons on screen.
Now, if you really want to piss off a writer in Hollywood, bring up the word blacklist. No one has suffered more from blacklisting than writers - at the hands of the right wing. For a bunch of right wing cunts to turn this term around and misuse it in their advantage is disgusting. The right wing destroyed peoples lives with blacklisting.
It started in the late 40s. Writers and other artists were denied work in Hollywood because of their alleged membership in the Communist Party. Their lives were turned upside down because of their involvement in liberal or humanitarian causes. Thats what a blacklist is, and the right wing should know because they were the ones who created it. A blacklist is not, and never will be, some guy not hiring you because he doesnt like what you have to say. Thats called life, you horrible, ignorant assholes.
A couple of days ago, a conservative writer
penned an op-ed for the Washington Post. Its rife with the usual conservative grandiose victimization. He kicks off with a delightful story of how hard it is to be a conservative in Hollywood.
At a recent writers conference in Southern California, one of my colleagues on a screenwriters panel told the crowd of about 50 people that she hoped Barack Obama would win the presidency. A number of people applauded. When it was my turn to speak, I politely said that I disagreed with her politics and moved on to other topics. There was no applause for me, but several writers approached me afterward. Each dropped his voice to a whisper and, looking around to make sure no one would overhear, said, "Thank you for saying that."
Oooooo. Wow. You mean, when you are in an area of the country that has political leanings toward one side, you dont get applause for stating the opposite view? Holy shit. I never would have known that doing stand up in places like Arkansas, Oklahoma and Texas. I wouldnt have known that when a guy in Mississippi yelled from the audience, Why dont you shut your fucking mouth? I wouldnt have known that when a girl in Georgia yelled, Go home Yankee as I walked the stage. And I certainly never would have picked that up when a woman told me I was going to hell as I told jokes in Oklahoma. How fucking stupid do you have to be to not understand that this is life.
Guess what? My liberal ass wasnt invited back to those clubs. Wanna know why? Because I didnt fit in. Thats called life. People naturally gather with like-minded people. I havent written many letters to the editor about my poor treatment in southern comedy clubs because I dont have an obsession over things I cant control. Ive toured every state in the country and there were more than a few places where I had to hold my tongue, like the entire southern half of the United States. And I had to listen to many conversations about how horrible liberals are.
The most vile aspect of this right wing cry party is that the people hiring for the Department of Justice for the past 7 years had a blacklist. Im not hearing much from the right wing about that problem. The complete politicizing of the Department of Justice and not a peep. But when a blogger comments that John Voight might not get a job, its shit storm time.
The right wing are cowardly, vile creatures. For them, all is well if they destroy the rule of law, but if movies are partisan in nature, a grievous wrong has been committed. They have the priorities of child molesters.
And lastly, artists will always be liberals. Thats how it works. And Im sorry 24 has been renewed for another season. Another year of dirty, liberal propaganda.
FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. If you want to read more of his yammering, check out his blog Stop All Monsters.
Finally Liberals Have a Reason to Hate Hollywood Too
Hollywood has really taken it on the chin in the past few years. Aside from the consumer disinterest at the mass produced, overpriced, low quality schlock that comprises the majority of the product they put out, Hollywood has also become a standard whipping boy of conservative pundits and politicians alike. Bashing movie stars for their "liberal" views (despite the fact that pretty much everyone from Hollywood in politics, like Sonny Bono, Ronald Reagan, and Arnold Schwarzenegger to name a few, have been Republicans) is standard operating procedure when really any controversy even tangentially related to the movies arises. But now progressives need not feel left out as they have their own beef with the movie biz; pollution.
Although it's widely known for a 'green' image, the film and TV production industry in California is actually a significant contributor to America's dirtiest skies, sending 140,000 metric tons of ozone and diesel particulates into the air each year.
The good news: Hollywood is getting better despite all those exploding buildings and car crashes.
Those are the conclusions of the UCLA Institute of the Environment's ninth annual Southern California Environmental Report Card.
"There is lots of good stuff going on in Hollywood on this issue, but we found there is much room for improvement," says Mary Nichols, director of the UCLA Institute, in a Monitor interview. "We don't mean to be dropping a bombshell on the industry ... but we found the structure of the industry and the competitiveness doesn't favor making ideas like these universal. There are so many companies that are constantly forming and reforming that it's not easy to develop regulations that work. We need to highlight the good practices to get the overall industry to voluntarily adopt them."
Many in Hollywood aren't happy.
"The UCLA study purports to discuss film and television industry practices but was prepared without consultation with the MPAA or the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, the major trade industries for the entertainment industry," says Kori Bernards, vice president of communications for the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). "And the methodology raises some real questions. Specifically, data being referenced is from 1997 and there are no regulatory bodies sited for authority, which if asked, would tell you the industry gets high marks."
So now while conservatives complain about how movies are polluting our childrens' minds, progressives can also complain about how they're polluting the air.
The points about problems endemic to the industry make a lot of sense; while major production studios do back most of the movies, the "corporations" that actually create films are often newly formed for each big production, and cease to exist once the movie is over, making enforcement of environmental regulation difficult or impossible. It's awfully tough to threaten a corporation that no longer exists. Still, in a business whose sole existence is public relations, just bringing the issue into the spotlight should help considerably in terms of motivating industry members (who are often notoriously outspoken about unrelated political issues) to improve.
Comic Writing Virtuoso Anticipates Industry Wide Crash
Acclaimed writer Mark Millar, famous for his groundbreaking works The Authority, Ultimate X-Men and The Ultimates, recently wrote a piece detailing his interesting and eerily accurate prediction that the current comic book industry boom is headed for a cyclical bust.
I looked into the figures a little more, examining the market for the previous two generations and noticed that the peaks and troughs formed what was essentially a sine-graph going back to the dawn of the Golden Age in 1935. We had a peak in the 40s, a trough in the 50s, a peak in the 60s, a trough in the 70s and so on until we hit the worst trough of all in the mid-90s when the market suffered the nastiest collapse in our publishing history. The pattern seemed to be record highs (in terms of revenue and creator salaries) immediately followed by record lows where Chicken Littles everywhere predicted the death of the medium as a whole. And so, as the FINAL DEMANDS piled up on my desk and absolutely no work was to be found for long periods of time in the '90s, my friends and I consoled ourselves with the notion that we'd only have to tighten our belts for, er, a few years and things would be just peachy again when the pick-up of 2005 and beyond got into full swing.
Anyone "lucky" enough to have lived through the button-fly, Liefeld, gold lame'/foil sparkle covers of the nineties can flinchingly remember the most recent crash and perhaps even peer into their closet to find a dusty old box of shattered dreams splayed across five different covers all labeled #1. This time around we, again, have a number of incredibly talented people making some books that will hopefully be cherished decades from now and yet Millar believes a financial and creative crisis looms in the distance
Like I've said many times, comics tend to move in twenty years cycles. Twenty years after Crisis and Secret War we have Infinite Crisis and Civil War at the top of the charts. Where were are right now, in market terms, is very close to 1986, right down to the numbers where the initial printings on Dark Knight and Watchmen are almost identical to our big books now and the frenzied re-order activity eerily accurate too. Like 1986, we also have a phenomenal number of talented people in the biz and I would say, especially among the writers, that we have MORE right now than we had back then. I don't think anyone's reached the giddy creative heights of a Dark Knight or a Watchmen recently, but some have come close and it's clear to see why the market (especially the big two) have made such significant gains in terms of growth year-on-year since the turn of the millennium. It's an exciting time to be in this business.
Everything may seem just fine and dandy now but Millar begins to pinpoint the impending Kryptonite-like killer of our present day comic loving orgy. He pinpoints both the rise and impending fall on the creatively ravenous vultures in Hollywood! Why are they always to blame?!
Good comics means good sales, right? But there's one factor I'd never taken into account. Something that just hit me a couple of days ago and that was that the very thing that helped us in recent years. The huge boost of money and interest injected into the comic-market is exactly what might prove our demise a little less than a decade from now.
And that, my friends, is Hollywood.
You will find no bigger cheerleader than me for the impact Hollywood has had on the industry. It's brought in a whole new wave of readers whose first experience of X-Men and Wolverine was Bryan Singer and Hugh Jackman. It's made it possible for comic pros to avoid mainstream superheroes if they desire and still make a good living with the number of indie books being snapped up and the symbiotic growth of their brands whether it's Hellboy, Sin City or Max Allen Collins Road to Perdition books. But the fact that Hollywood knows where we ARE now is both thrilling and terrifying: Because the poaching has begun and many of our favourite creators are going to be disappearing over the next few years.
Who can blame these creative bastards? Anyone with a wife, kids, and an addiction to bald eagle egg omelets would gladly take the once in a lifetime offers Hollywood is throwing at them. Instead of reaching thousands for tiny satchels of pennies, theyre able to inspire a handful of Hollywood types with storyboard sketches that will inevitably be altered to amuse the lowest common denominator of humanity!
Chris Gore's Footage Fetishes: As Seen at the Movies
I once visited Fairmont, Indiana to see the hometown where James Dean grew up. The fifties star of only three movies including Rebel without a Cause, died tragically before any of his films hit the big screen. It was a life-altering experience as I even visited his grave site.
When I moved to Los Angeles, I made it a point to visit locations I'd seen in my favorite movies. To most, theyre just points on a map random intersections you pass on your way to work. But for movie geeks like myself, they mean much more. These landmarks are actual locations seen in classic movies. (And some really bad movies too.) By treading the same ground where these films were shot, it offers a way for film freaks like myself to connect with the movies that moved me. This list is a collection of some of my favorites along with where to find them.
Griffith Observatory
2800 East Observatory Rd., Los Angeles, CA 90027
As seen in: Rebel Without a Cause, The Terminator
The world famous Griffith Observatory is a dramatic location already and made even more so by the knife fight that James Dean got into just outside this landmark. Arnold showed up buck naked, fresh from the future before killing some punks for their clothes.
Bonus TV Landmark: The entrance to the Batcave from the Adam West 60s TV show version of Batman is located in Griffith Park itself and only accessible by hiking. (But its not that far.)
The Dresden Room
1760 N Vermont Ave, Los Angeles, 90027
As seen in: Swingers
The Dresden Room featured the musical stylings of the duo of Marty and Elaine and played host to Jon Favreaus awkward dealings with the ladies in Swingers. Money!
Bonus Landmark: Be sure also to visit the diner that Fav, Vince Vaughn and company frequented, the 101 Restaurant located on Los Feliz Boulevard just east of the entrance to the 101 freeway.
Far East National Bank - LA Shootout in Heat
977 North Broadway Los Angeles, CA 90012 as well as 5th Street in downtown Los Angeles and surrounding areas.
As seen in: Heat
Its true what comedian Dane Cook has said about men. More than having sex, most men would like to be part of a heist just like the one from Heat. Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro starred in this manly cops and robbers epic directed by Michael Mann. It was shot entirely on location in Chinatown in downtown LA.
The 110 Freeway Tunnel
From the heart of Los Angeles, or from the valley, just get on the 110 Freeway traveling north or south.
As seen in: Back to the Future part II, Blade Runner
The 110 was one of the first freeways constructed in the United States which explains why the road is so narrow. The futuristic looking tunnel seen briefly in Blade Runner and Back to the Future part II is just the reliable 110. Add some dramatic lighting and it does have a futuristic feel to it. Everytime I drive through this tunnel, I think of those movies.
Musso and Franks
6667 Hollywood Blvd.,Hollywood, CA 90036
As seen in: Oceans 11 and more.
This classic Hollywood steakhouse has been around since 1919 and has appeared in a number of films including Oceans 11 and The Coen Brothers The Man Who Wasnt There. Which, unfortunately, not a lot of people saw. Theres a lot of history at this restaurant as so many Hollywood legends made it their second home. Raymond Chandler actually wrote The Big Sleep in the eatery. True story.
Manns Chinese Theater
6925 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA 90028
As seen in: Charlies Angels and countless others.
This historic theater was a landmark even before it appeared in Charlies Angels. Try comparing your shoe size to those of your favorite celebs. My feet are bigger than Jack Nicolson's.
La Brea Tar Pits
5801 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90036
As seen in: Volcano
Tommy Lee Jones is a city worker who battles a deadly volcano in a film titled, oddly, Volcano. The lava pours onto Wilshire and begins its rise from the La Brea Tar Pits. A great landmark to visit as it conveniently already has a museum and a gift shop.
Bradbury Building - Downtown LA
304 South Broadway, Los Angeles, CA 90013
As seen in: Bladerunner
Its one of the few recognizable buildings in futuristic Los Angeles of 2014 just 8 years from now.
Mulholland Drive
Mulholland Drive
As seen in: Mulholland Drive
David Lynchs weird (when are his films not weird?) exploration of, uh, not sure, but its set in LA and much of it happens on Mulholland Drive.
The Hollywood Sign
Located way up in the Hollywood Hills
As seen in: Earthquake and any one of a 100 movies.
If Los Angeles is being attacked or otherwise destroyed, the Hollywood sign is there to remind you exactly where you are. The best part is that its so easy to find, just center yourself somewhere north of Wilshire and look toward those mountains, theyre in the north. See it?
Gore gone!
Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and does not live in LA by choice.
Hollywood vs. Hezbollah
This afternoon finds me in a state of shock. Normally, when actors talk politics, you are guaranteed endless half-baked platitudes about how the world's problems are Bush's fault.
Today, however, we are in Bizarro Land as an array of Hollywood stars blame terrorist violence...on terrorists.
Hollywood heavyweights Nicole Kidman, Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito, Rupert Murdoch and more than 80 other stars played against type and entered stage right yesterday with an ad condemning Hezbollah in Lebanon, Hamas in Palestine and terrorists everywhere.
We the undersigned are pained and devastated by the civilian casualties in Israel and Lebanon caused by terrorist actions initiated by terrorist organizations such as Hezbollah and Hamas, the full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times reads.
I don't know if Sean Penn, Barbra Streisand or any of the normal crowd of politically vocal thespians have put their signature to this rare piece of common sense, but Dennis Hopper, Ridley Scott and Bruce Willis have, and that's good enough for me.
I wonder if luminaries from the music business will have the guts to follow suit.
Chris Gore's Footage Fetishes: The Best Films Sin-spired by Hollywood
Movies about movies tend to be pretentious exercises resulting in films only appealing to critics or the creators themselves unless those movies are about the movie business or better yet, Hollywood. The luster or lack thereof that oozes from this magical town has resulted in no shortage of films that both celebrate and tear down this city.
Join me in a walk down that boulevard of broken dreams for a quick compilation of the best films inspired by Hollywood.
The Big Picture
The saying simply goes, Write what you know. Well there are no shortage of writers who have been inspired by Tinseltown, and actor, director and comedian Christopher Guest must have had some experience of success when he made The Big Picture. This film stars a young Kevin Bacon as an aspiring filmmaker who shoots to the top
and falls just as fast. Martin Short is inspired as a gushing agent.
Best line uttered in the movie: Youre gonna get an agent, a mother, a father, a shoulder to cry on, someone who knows this business inside and out. And if anyone ever tries to cross you, I'll grab them by the balls and squeeze til theyre dead.
The Player
Tim Robbins performance is chilling as a studio executive turned murderer in this Robert Altman modern classic. Perhaps the best film made about Hollywood and the perfect movie to show anyone considering entering this crazy industry.
Best Line: Griffin Mill (Robbins): I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we've got something here.
The Muse
Albert Brooks plays a successful screenwriter that has lost his edge and must seek out a Muse (hence the title) and finds it in a spiritual nutcase played by Sharon Stone. Brooks meeting with the nephew of Steven Spielberg named, well, Steven Spielberg is laugh out loud funny.
Best Line: (Brooks to the gate guard, after being informed that he may enter the studio grounds as a walk-on) Let me ask you -- is this the lowest a human being can go? I mean, is there such a thing as a 'crawl on?
State and Main
David Mamets State and Main takes a look at the inner workings of film crews and the result is brutal.
Best Line (Well, the best line that did not contain expletives): Who designed these costumes? It looks like Edith Head puked, and that puke designed these costumes.
Bowfinger
Steve Martin is a modern day Ed Wood as a hack filmmaker who makes a film with a celebrity doppelganger with both roles played by Eddie Murphy.
Best Line: Kit (Eddie Murphy): White boys always get the Oscar. It's a known fact. Did I ever get a nomination? No! You know why? Cause I hadn't played any of them slave roles, and get my ass whipped.
Swimming with Sharks
Kevin Spacey will is cruel as Supermans arch nemesis Lex Luthor, but his turn as an agent ever in Swimming with Sharks will be remembered as perhaps his most evil role to date.
Best Line: Buddy (Spacey): No offense to you, but you are just an assistant. Now, granted, you're MY assistant, but still just an assistant. Dawn, on the other hand, is a producer. Her car phone bills are more than your rent. So, just how far do you think you'll get?
Get Shorty
Hollywood folks getting mixed up with Mafia types doesnt seem like such a stretch these days, what with so many lawsuits over that Pelicano guy. John Travolta is flawless as Chili Palmer, a tough as nails hood who would make an excellent film producer.
Best Line: Chili Palmer (Travolta): Whew, this movie business is tough. I might just have to go back to loan-sharking for a while to get some vacation.
Full Frontal
Steven Soderbergh put his celebrity cast, including Julia Roberts, on notice that they would drive themselves to the set and do their own hair, makeup and wardrobe for this digital and decidedly indie look at Hollywood.
Best Line: You cant pretend that you are having sex with someone, when you are actually having sex with them.
Ed Wood
Johnny Depps performance is enthusiastically over the top as he breathes life into the worlds worst director. As Ed, the story of the making of Plan 9 From Outer Space is as much a disaster film as a story of one of Hollywoods most infamous characters.
Best Line: Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, I'm all man. I even fought in W.W.II Of course, I was wearing womens undergarments under my uniform.
S1mOne
Al Pacino is a desperate producer who needs a lead actress and fast. So, with some souped-software he creates the ultimate hot actress shes fantastic and all digital. Of course, this leads to complications as the industry suspects this actress may be fake. Hey, in Hollywood, what actress isnt fake?!
Best Line: Simone: Everybody always talks about the negatives of cigarettes, but look at the benefits. I mean you don't eat as much and you've got something to hold in your hand.
Gore gone!
Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and in his spare time, protects the city of Los Angeles as a crime-fighting masked vigilante.
Falwell Blames "Sex-Crazy" World on "Hollywood Scene"
Moral Majority leader Jerry Falwell, in a recent sermon at his home church in Lynchburg, VA, denounced moral perverts and the Hollywood Scene. Perhaps Falwell auditioned for the Dallas remake and didnt get the part; why else would he be hate the Hollywood community so much?
"You know, you almost got to be a homosexual to be recognized in the entertainment industry anymore. Ellen [Degeneres], and all the rest. I love them, pray for their souls, but they're immoral. And the Hollywood scene -- five and eight and 10 marriages -- not something to be emulated."
Falwell also blamed the entertainment industry for the sex-crazy world we live in.
"Today the world has gone sex crazy. Illicit sex has become the downfall of many in the Bible. Movie stars not married to each other, having babies and making headlines all over the world as though they were doing some great thing. Big deal! Just another moral pervert."
Fallwells TV show, Old Time Gospel Hour, succeeded in many markets. He performed so well on his little show he became a world-famous star. Doesnt that make him part of the entertainment media he zealously demonizes?
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