Remember when you thought Hillary Clinton and her supporters were done? You obviously didn’t notice her supporter's Michael Myers like qualities. While everyone else moved on to the general election campaign, Hillary’s peeps have not. They have been strongly campaigning for Hillary to get the VP nod and they are becoming increasingly angry, all over again.

At this point it looks like there is no way she will get the nod. Currently, the world’s biggest self-hating gay, Drudge, is predicting Obama will pick Senator Joe Biden today. And the rumor mill is heating up in DC after Obama sent Biden to Georgia this week. Clinton’s supporters warn choosing Obama could mean a loss in November. I mean, how’s he going to win without out the most divisive politician in America on his side? I don’t know.

They’ve been making this point since July and it is as ridiculous as their “big state” argument and their “working class voters” argument, both of which turned out to be false, according to polls.

Yes, choosing Hillary for VP and not invading Iraq are extraordinarily similar. They just can't help themselves.

Yes. And picking Hillary could turn more people off than it could pull them in. Oh, and it would energize the Republican base more than Obama fucking a boy on top of Reagan’s grave would. But please, continue to ignore those possibilities.

Either way, expect another anger explosion from the Hillary supporters. They will be confused by Obama’s stupidity, claim they will not vote for him and rage against the system. And it will carry over to the Democratic Convention, August 25th-28th. The hardcore Hillary supporters are already planning exciting events for the convention.

The Denver Group, which was started by two Clinton supporters, hopes to convince everyone to pick Hillary at the convention. Their slogan is “Keeping the Democratic Party Democratic.” And they plan on doing that by getting superdelegates to overturn the choice of voters and pick Clinton. Brilliant.

And they made an ad!



Keep hanging on. There’s no way this won’t go your way if you just keep pushing.

The Denver Group is also opposed to having a “coronation” during the convention. They have been pushing for Clinton to be “nominated” during the convention and said that anything else would be a coronation for Obama. Having her name placed in nomination means delegates can vote for her as well as Obama. In the end, she is expected to then give her votes to Obama. And Obama agreed to do so last week. Basically, it’s just some petty, weird need for Hillary voters to make a statement, as if their 18 million votes weren’t already counted. Either way, I don’t think her being placed in nomination is that big of deal – unless these fuckers start making noise...

Oh, so they agreed to your demands and now your upset because they might not do what they agreed to? Really? Why are you so cranky? Does your diaper fit? Did you make a mess in it?

Wow. That’s an awesome idea. I wonder what the media will focus on? I don’t think you can do more for your party than to totally undermine your party's convention. I wonder if the press will want to broadcast what these idiots have to say?

That’s just smart. Obama is having a difficult time getting his message out because of the relentless and shockingly stupid McCain attacks, so you might as well make it hard for him focus on issues at the party's convention.

Other groups, like 18 Million Voices, are planning on celebrating Hillary’s achievement of losing. Sorry, I mean, coming in second. They plan on holding a large rally on the 26th of August.

Again, that should go awesome. Don’t expect much media coverage. Don’t expect them to pull out the angry women who say they won’t vote for Obama and make this seem far worse than it is. Don’t expect this to be the story of the convention. Don’t expect this to cause less unity in the party.

The amusing detail in this mess is Hillary’s supporters reasoning. They believe their actions will be cathartic and bring the party closer together.

Yes, nothing will bring the party together more than giving more attention to the woman who refused to give up, even after she was long dead. This is about group therapy for the Hillheads, nothing more. Some are just looking for something to be upset about. No matter what the DNC does, they will be angry.

This above statement was made before it was agreed that Clinton would be “placed in nomination.” They were angry about something that had not been decided either way yet. And they will be a vocal minority at the convention and take away from the message. Count on it. And count on Obama supporter’s angry response.

Oh, and Hillary could have put a stop to this with a few phone calls.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and comedian. You can read more of his blathering on his blog, Stop All Monsters.

Some kids went through hell at Camp Crystal Lake in the summer of 1979. By “hell,” I mean a crazy person named Pamela Sue Voorhees murdered them. Pamela was still smarting from the death of her son, Jason, in 1957. The kid supposedly drowned in the lake while the camp counselors were having a cabin party, enjoying pot, alcohol and each other’s genitals. Pamela then murdered a couple of the counselors and the place was shut down.

For years, she lived near the camp, watching to make sure it would never open again. See, Pamela was trying to save any innocent children from meeting the same death as her precious Jason. (He was a lunatic, by the way.) In 1979, when it appeared the camp would open again, Pamela killed seven people. She did this to save others. It’s what good people do. But eventually, Alice Hardy cut her head off with a machete. As far as the Democratic Primary is concerned, Hillary has been trying to save Democrats from the doom of nominating Obama. Thankfully, we have finally reached the point where Hillary Clinton meets her demise on the lake beach. All horrible monsters meet their doom, just ask Ghidorah.

It’s been obvious, for months, to anything with a brain in its head (including rabbits) that Hillary was finished. She lost the race some time ago, but decided to continue on in a Voorhees charge for the nomination. Now signals are coming from her campaign that the end is nigh. On Sunday night, after a small island a couple hundred miles from Florida, which is not allowed to vote in the general election and is not even a state, voted, the two candidates exchanged a phone call. Nobody knows what was said. The Obama camp claims he called to congratulate her. Right. He called to congratulate her on Puerto Rico after over 45 primary elections without a call exchanged. Uh huh.

Now, a phone call from an opponent is not much. Trust me, I’ve gotten quite a few in my life that don’t mean shit. (I'm looking at you, Ron Jeremy.) But there are other signs, like a fateful email went out on Monday night to all Clinton advance staffers.

Certainly one could say there are no more primaries, so why would she plan any events? But anyone who would say that is a dipshit. If Hillary were to continue on, she would need to make her case day after day, hour after hour, until the convention. It appears she has no plan to do so. Good.

Oh, and Hillary has asked her staffers to get the books in order.

That’s what you do when you’re wrapping it up. Next, Bill Clinton also made an interesting statement yesterday in South Dakota.

That’s a “good bye” speech. Thanks for ruining your legacy, Bill, and don’t let anything smash your asshole on the way out, or whatever that cliché is. Go back to your life on the "Fuck Jet."

Hillary has also planned an event for Tuesday night in New York. It will be the first night since the primary began that she has not held an event in a state that is voting, or will be voting. Invitations have been sent out to staffers to come to New York.

All of her top donors and fundraisers have also been invited to the event, yet her campaign continues to say it’s just a final primary party. Too bad all the donors aren't on board with that explanation.

Of course Hillary and her people continue to state that they are going to fight on until there is a nominee, just as Pamela Voorhees probably would have said she was going to keep killing – until her head was removed from her body. If Hillary doesn’t pull out on her own, the Democratic Party is sharpening the machete.

And her big political peeps are telling her to take a walk. One of her campaign’s national co-chairs, former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack, laid it out.

And superdelegates are coming out and telling Lady Voorhees to back her shit down.

Hillary may not bail on Tuesday night, but she will be gone by the end of the week. Her last chance to grab the nomination was dashed when the Democratic Party decided this weekend to give Obama more than zero Michigan delegates. Everyone knows it’s over now. That’s why her supporters are losing their fucking minds.



The most telling piece of information came yesterday morning on a conference call with the Clinton campaign and her top fundraisers.

Um. Done that.

If you live in California, go vote today. No on 98. It's very important. Very, very important. - FTR

Merry Asshole Fuckface Day. This is the day during which righteous people such as yourself can laugh at and mock the miserable fucks that inhabit our sweet Earth. That’s where I come in. I drag the hideous beasts from their caves and into the light of day, for all to see. It’s not an easy job. Sometimes I sit in a corner and weep for 17 hours straight. Other times I angrily masturbate, while crying tears for the children. So goes the life of an Asshole Fuckface exposer. It’s what my father did and his father before him. It’s the life we Reapers have chosen and we do it with pride. So, go grab your umbrella and cover yourself in thick grease, because this is going to be ugly.

First up, some Asshole Fuckface lady keeps saying stupid shit.



Oh, fuck. Can you please stop saying the dumbest shit ever? Or how about if you just refrain from bringing up the assassination of Ted Kennedy’s brother the week he was diagnosed with a horrible brain tumor?

There are only two options with this little verbal gem. Either she thinks she should stick in the race because Obama might be assassinated pretty soon, or she thinks the assassination of Robert Kennedy is a great comparison to her campaign. Either way, she’s an Asshole Fuckface. Maybe later she can go pee on Ted's skull.

Oh, and she’s made this comment before.

So, it wasn’t a slip. It was a talking point. Nice.

Next up, another Asshole Fuckface said something while there was a microphone around.

As many people don’t know, John McCain worked very hard to get the endorsement of Pastor John Hagee. He visited Hagee many times and finally the nut was cracked. Hagee gave McCain his Jesus-like endorsement and all was well for John with a few crazy Christians. Then a few liberal bloggers began posting the insane rantings of Hagee, which included blaming gays for Hurricane Katrina. Of course, the media ignored those comments, because a black man in Chicago was saying something bad. McCain did disavow the comments, but not the Pastor - that is until now. It was only a matter of time until someone unearthed an incredibly heinous Hagee speech.



Wow. Someone just made Jeremiah Wright look like a hero. There’s really nothing like saying Hitler killing 6 million Jews was God’s work. Welcome to the Asshole Fuckface hall of fame, creep.

McCain was forced to reject Hagee’s endorsement.

Nice. That was just too much for John. The “gays caused Hurricane Katrina” shit was totally cool, though.

My next Asshole Fuckface… said something horrible. Go figure.

Michael Savage is the most vile, right wing radio host in America. I would actually have a hard time arguing that he is human. I think he’s more of a physical form of pure hate wrapped in flesh. This week, Savage decided to make fun of Ted Kennedy and his newly diagnosed brain cancer.



Ha ha. Get it? The Dead Kennedys. Ted has a deadly brain tumor. GET IT? Fucking hilarious. And cutting in Arnold’s “It's not a tumor” line is genius.

Hee, hee. Isn’t that a hoot?

Giggle, giggle.

How Michael Savage is allowed to speak into anything other than his own shoe is amazing.

Finally, my last Asshole Fuckface may be the worst parent, ever.

Meet Try Sienghym. He’s a Cambodian mechanic who isn’t very good at playing with his son. Apparently, Try was having a good time with his five-year-old in the shop, when he decided to play “tire.”

“Learned the hard way not to inflate children.” Just let that soak in for a minute. Dude actually thought he could inflate his child, like a Road Runner cartoon. Let’s take this picture a bit further. He grabbed his child, and I assume pulled down his pants, then rammed an air hose into his asshole and turned that fucker on. Fun.

Oh, and I think the kid actually is the one who “learned the hard way.”

For those who don’t know anything about our digestive system, it goes like this: Anus, rectum, colon, the large intestine, the small intestine and then the stomach. (And that’s backwards – stuff is supposed to go the other way) So, Dad blew air all the way through his boy’s digestive system and into his stomach. But, he is sorry.

I bet. He’s also now the village retard.

Yes, but he gets something worse. He will forever be known as an Asshole Fuckface.

Congrats to this week's Asshole Fuckfaces. You will all receive a FearTheReaper marble statue.

Middle-aged women are pissed. Their great hope is going down in flames and losing to a black man, which is causing them to lose their minds. They are popping up on websites, in news interviews and on radio shows. Many of them say the same thing; they won’t vote for Barack Obama. I think their unofficial spokeswoman is Geraldine Ferraro, who this week told the New York Times she might not vote for Obama if he were the nominee.

Uh. Wait. What the fuck? Ferrero made one of the most racist comments during this primary, and now she is…Holy Fucking Shit, what is wrong with these people? Seriously, does she ever say anything that is not mind-bogglingly retarded? Nope. Not as of yesterday, anyway.

Uh, yeah. It was the “black journalists” fault that Hillary ran the worst campaign since Rudy Giuliani. Why did we ever teach those Negroes to write? By the way, Gerry, have you watched Hillary in the last six months? There wasn’t anything decent to say, period.

Mass delusion seems to have set upon this country’s almost-old ladies. They are now blaming Obama for the media’s sexist attacks against Hillary – while at the same time completely ignoring the Clinton’s heinous and repeated racist attacks on Obama.

Oh, so he should have told her to get out? Hey, He Can’t Win Sally, shut the fuck up. Is Obama supposed to just not answer a question that is asked 100 times a day? Should he have made an “I’m locking my mouth and throwing away the key” move? Sorry what you expected to happen didn’t happen. Welcome to grown-up land. You know how many times my favorite candidate has become president in my lifetime? Zero. I still have yet to turn into the world’s biggest infant. You know why Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney were pressured to drop out? Turns out it wasn’t because they are women, but because there was no way they could win. If any of these women had a legitimate excuse to not vote for Obama, I’m all ears, but what I’m hearing now is just is bitterness crammed in between stupidity.

Wait. Your Democratic candidate was beaten by another Democratic candidate, so you’re going to do what you can to make sure a Republican wins the White House? What a fucking lunatic. I can totally understand her not wanting to vote for Obama because he doesn’t represent her views. That is what you are supposed to do in a Democracy, but this goes so far beyond that. They are planning to actively fight against what they believe in to help elect someone who greatly opposes their political beliefs. And they are doing so because of a self-created fantasy that involves them being told to “shut up and get in the back of the bus.” Which is weird, because that actually makes me want to tell them to shut up and get in the back of the bus.

I used to be a daily reader of a blog called TalkLeft. It’s actually an interesting blog because a lawyer created it and the two main bloggers talk about subjects from a liberal legal viewpoint. Up until a couple of months ago, I was a daily reader. But the sight became one of the few liberal blogs that supports Clinton. (The creator is a middle aged lady - go figure.) Going to the site and reading the comments is like taking a trip into an alternate universe. It is, quite simply, mind-boggling.

Right. He might appoint Sinbad as Secretary of Defense.

I find comments that Obama should have waited his turn to be insulting. He’s supposed to wait for her? Why? Because she’s an “experienced woman?” And experienced women get to go before black guys? Does the experience part include voting the wrong way on Iraq? Because that’s one of the main reasons a lot of people aren’t supporting her. Just think how Hillary supporters would take this statement if the situation were reversed; if the black man was behind and telling the woman to wait her turn. They’d lose their fucking minds. Although, they are already losing their minds.

Well, no, no, no, no and no.

I realize I am just plucking messages off a board, but it's fun and easy -- oh, and they are examples of the mass delusion that seems to have overcome Clinton supporters. And Hillary is leading them on this path. Yesterday her campaign began this “stealing the election, count all the votes” drive. It is the most destructive path she can go down, which means she will. She is actually now running around comparing the Florida and Michigan situation to the Gore/Bush Florida 2000 election fiasco. Amazing.

The most annoying comment of all is the most often repeated comment.

Totally. I’ll tell my wife, the doctor, I can’t handle her and I need her to stop making so much money, being so successful and shut the fuck up. Part of equality means taking the good with the bad, which means accepting when people judge a female candidate on her character and policies – not her sex. It's actually a step backwards for feminism not to do so.

Some of us can actually say “no” to a candidate because we don’t believe she’d be the best president – and that actually has nothing to do with the fact that she has a vagina. I understand some people are always going to have a problem with the idea of a woman president. But guess what, some people are also always going to have a problem with a black president.

And, while we’re at it, if the reason Hillary didn’t win is because of sexism, then how is it she won the white, working class male vote in most states? Please explain. How are men holding her back by voting for her? But her followers won’t even contemplate such a thought. It’s time to rage. It’s time to scream in anger that Hillary was the right candidate but the wrong gender, and completely ignore the obvious truth that she was the right gender but the wrong candidate.

Now, I’m not denying she took her share of lumps. Chris Mathews and his insanely sexist comments come to mind. And there were articles written about what she was wearing. They were incredibly sexist. The media would never do such a thing to a man and certainly not to a candidate from South Carolina who got an expensive haircut. No way a newspaper columnist at a political conference called him a “faggot”. That kind of shit only happens to women, because the country is sexist. Political pundits definitely wouldn’t call a Governor from Massachusetts a pretty boy, would they? Perish the thought.

Obviously the reason Clinton lost is because she is a woman. I mean, Obama has less experience than Hillary. Why would anyone pick the candidate with less experience, unless they were afraid of a strong woman? That’s why America chose Obama over Edwards, Richardson, Dodd, Kucinich and Biden – because they are all women. They had more experience, but they also had vaginas. And that’s why the less experienced Kennedy beat a female named Nixon, and less qualified Carter beat Lady Ford, and inexperienced Bill Clinton beat Granny Bush.

Now we will have to wait to see if these women carry out their threats.

Succumbing to threats is always the best way to choose a candidate. They are putting their lifetime of anger into this one political campaign and if it doesn’t happen, well, then they are going to kill everybody. This is different than past inside party conflicts. This is very different than John McCain against George Bush in 2000. This shit goes deep, this is a lifetime of rage and we’ve gone past the tipping point.

We are now into the scorched Earth phase. This idea is coming from the top. Hillary and her campaign have been pushing the sexism excuse for a week. They are combining it with “election theft” by saying the DNC conspired to make sure a man won the nomination. You’ve got to wonder how many more wounds she can open and dig into before this race is over. I’m starting to yearn for the days when she was launching vicious attacks on Obama, as they were probably less damaging.

The fascinating thing about this whole mess is that if Hillary were a man, she’d be gone by now. Long gone.

When the Democratic primaries began I was afraid the party faithful would pick Hillary Clinton as the nominee. She would have lost handily to any Republican nominee and energized the right wing base, creating coattails for GOP gains in Congress. As the primaries continued, it became apparent that Hillary probably wasn’t going to win the nomination. Yet, she continued. I then became angry at her campaign’s obvious racism and ugly tactics. Finally, she began attacking Obama like she was Karl Rove. At that point, I went from anger to hate. I despised the demon with every fiber in my body. But, again, my feelings have changed. Now I am bewildered and confused by her inability to face reality.

Her actions remind me of a couple of situations. The first is the execution of Ricky Ray Rector in 1992. Ricky killed a cop and then shot himself in the head. He survived, but was basically lobotomized. On the night of his execution, he set aside his desert (pecan pie) so he could come back and eat it when he returned from the electric chair. There may not be a more appropriate analogy for Hillary than Rickey Ray Rector. The only situation that comes close occurred in England during the time of King Arthur.



The race for the presidency was over in February. Then it was really, really over on March 5th, after the Ohio and Texas primaries. There was just no way Hillary would ever catch him in delegates after that day. But she kept on going. Six weeks later, she actually won Pennsylvania by 9 points, which only set her back further, and yet she continued on, in a delusional stupor. Finally, on May 6th, Hillary lost the nomination when Obama crushed her in North Carolina and tied her in Indiana. Now, everyone knows Hillary has lost - except Hillary.

The media declared the race over.

Yet, that did not stop Hillary. She has decided to continue on, despite this little thing called reality. And even though one of America’s main polling institutions has decided to just stop asking polling questions about her.

Well, that’s no reason to stop, is it? Hillary’s only hope is to convince the Superdelegates to overturn the will of the people and vote for her. She apparently is unaware that her 108 Superdelegate lead has evaporated and she now trails trails Obama in the party insider vote.

Since last Tuesday, Obama has picked up 20 Superdelegates and Hillary has picked up 1.5. And now Obama’s spokesman is sending out emails, seeking staff for the upcoming general election.

Just a guy who won the Democratic primary staffing up to take on the other party’s nominee, while a bag lady runs around in the alley screaming, “I’m the nominee, I’m the nominee.”

Obama has moved on. He’s no longer running against Hillary. Today he will fly to Michigan, where he will meet with state leaders to discuss seating the state’s delegates. Obama is doing so because he WON the Democratic primary.

The Obama campaign will not be fighting too hard for the final Democratic delegates. They don’t need to. They have decided to turn their attention John McCain – mostly because he’s the only opponent left.

Nothing to worry about, Hillary. Don’t pay attention to the fact that Obama is ignoring you and campaigning in Florida and Missouri.

Tuesday - Cape Giradeau, Missouri
Wednesday – Macomb County and Grand Rapids, Michigan
Friday – South Dakota
Saturday and Sunday – Oregon
Next week – Tampa, Orlando, Palm Beach County and Miami

This is the point in the movie where drunk brother keeps trying to fight sober brother, who wants nothing to do with it.

EXT. LAWN.

The brothers square off on the law. Sober Brother slowly backs up. Drunk Brother lunges and swings wildly at Sober Brother. Sober Brother easily ducks the blow.

SOBER BROTHER
I’m not going to fight you.

DRUNK BROTHER
You think you’re better than me?!

SOBER BROTHER
Stop. Dad wouldn’t want this.

Drunk Brother lunges again. Sober brother steps to the left. Drunk Brother misses and collapses face down in the flowerbed.

Sober Brother takes Drunk Brother’s car keys out of his pocket.

DRUNK BROTHER
(Sobbing into dirt)
Dad loved me more.

SOBER BROTHER
You can wash up in the bathroom. I put some sheets on the couch.

Sober Brother enters the house he alone inherited from their father.

DRUNK BROTHER
I’m sleeping right here. In my flowerbed! Forever!

FADE TO SADNESS

Like most drunks, Hillary isn’t so good with her money, either. She’s $20 million in the hole – and her enablers are telling her to keep the party going.

Right, no reason – except she lost. And she’s broke. And 11-year-old kids are selling their bikes to keep the party going.

This has moved from distressing to absurd to pathetic. Hillary Clinton is a walking, talking joke. Every time she enters a room, people should say, “Dead man walking.” Maybe then she’ll start to figure it out. I mean, I doubt it, but at least it's something.

Yes, I called Hillary Clinton an abomination. I could not be more correct with my description and here is the definition of abomination to prove it:

Abomination - A*bom`i*na"tion, n.

That which is abominable; anything hateful, wicked, or shamefully vile; an object or state that excites disgust and hatred; a hateful or shameful vice; pollution.

Fits perfectly. Hillary would, obviously, disagree. A month ago, she compared herself to Rocky.



It’s true. Hillary is Rocky because she is not going to win and she is beating the shit out of Obama, while getting the shit beat out of herself at the same time. Sadly, Rocky and Apollo Creed fought for 15 rounds – a fight length that is now illegal because of the damage done to the fighters.



We are now in round 13, with a couple more horrible, bloody rounds to go. I can only assume Hillary will be holding onto Bill at the end, mumbling, “I did it,” though her grizzled and battered face. Just like Rocky, there will be no knock out and the decision will go to the judges. In this case, they are known as the superdelegates.

This abomination will not give up. Her spinmeisters are running around telling everyone who will listen that Obama is unelectable and can’t win big states. The unelectable argument is moronic because she is behind in delegates and the popular vote. Never thought I’d see someone in second saying the person in first is unelectable. Amazing.

The “big states” argument is equally retarded. Hillary claims Obama can’t win big states in the primary, so he won’t win the general. I guess that would make sense if Hillary were a Republican, but it turns out Democrats are voting for both Hillary and Obama. That means in the general election, Democrats who voted for both would probably vote for Obama. Anyone buying the "big state" argument is wasting their brain and it should be removed from his or her head -- immediately.

Worst of all is the argument Clinton and her supporters are making that no one is actually saying out loud: Obama won’t win big, industrial states because he is black. It’s straight up racism and it’s disgusting, but it’s the claim she is trying to make to superdelegates. If it were true, I’d rather try with the best candidate, who happens to be black, and lose, than toss him to the side for the not-as-good white lady because of racism fears. To choose Clinton for this reason would be morally heinous and I think anyone doing so is scum.

The truth is Clinton’s 9-point victory in Pennsylvania was actually a loss. She needed to win by a 20-point margin to make a serious dent in Obama’s delegate lead. She didn’t. She only gained around 10 delegates out of 158. There are now only 408 delegates remaining in the final primaries. Clinton needs 483 delegates to get the 2024 necessary to win the nomination. See how that might be a problem?

This means the only way Clinton wins the nomination is via superdelegates. But she will need 70% of remaining uncommitted superdelegates to win – if she splits the remaining popular delegates. Which means she has to convince 215 human beings that Obama can’t win the election, even though he has received more votes and popular delegates. That’s 215 people who have to buy the “black guy can’t win” argument. Good luck with that.

And while the Clinton people are at it with the “black guy can’t win” argument, they are going to continue to throw every Republican attack possible at Obama. See, the Clinton peeps have this awesome idea in their heads. They don’t think Obama can handle the Republican attack machine in the general election and to make that point, they are going to attack him like the Republican machine. It’s kind of like an honor killing; we have to kill him to save the family honor.

So, Hillary will continue to hang out with the guy who started the rumor that she killed Vince Foster, and the owner of Fox News, while she praises John McCain. At the same time, she will use all the Republican talking points about Reverand Wright, call Barack an elitist, and point out his connections with the Weather Underground, no matter how tenuous or hypocritical.

She has completely crossed the “vetting Obama” line and is now simply a Republican tool of destruction. If the only way you can win an election is to convince 306 party insiders to overturn the will of the people, and you continue on that path, you are a fucking asshole. It’s already having an effect. Just take a look at Fox’s newest promo.



That’s Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe. Good work, douchebag.

Meanwhile, Obama has done nothing to imply Clinton cannot win the general election. He is only making the case that he is the better candidate. Clinton is dragging them both into the ditch. Her approval rating is plummeting and Obama’s is also slowly slipping.

According to Hillary, she plans to take this "all the way" to the convention, no matter how obvious it become that she is done. MSNBC has declared the popular delegate race over. The New York Times ripped her a new asshole yesterday.

The most damage being done by Hillary is the fight over Florida and Michigan. She has been making the case to voters in those states that Obama is responsible for their votes not being counted. It is completely untrue, the DNC made the decision, but Obama’s chances of beating McCain in Florida and Michigan have been plummeting, according to polls. Without those states, he has no chance. She is literally killing the Democrats chances of taking the White House.

Which is why she is not Rocky. Sure, Rocky lost to the black guy and both left the ring battered. But Rocky was a lovable character who won by losing. That is not the case with Hillary. A more appropriate comparison would be Jason Voorhees: A horrible, thoughtless, driven killer destroying all in his path. She’s just crisscrossing America with a machete, slashing and killing everything in her path.



Kudos, abomination, kudos.

FearTheReaper thinks Rocky has more impact in Italian and Jason Voorhees is scarier with Nordic death metal.

I loathe Hillary Clinton. Back in the early '90s, I was a fan of the Clintons, but as time went by, it became apparent they were Republicans claiming to be Democrats. One only needs to look at the damage done by NAFTA to understand. Yet, I never disliked them as I do now. Hillary has proven herself to be a horrible viper through her actions and words during this primary season. The woman really is an opportunistic beast. So, I tuned in to last night’s debate hoping to witness Hillary Clinton’s destruction. But I ended up hating ABC’s Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos much more. Do you know how horrible someone has to be to make me hate them more than Hillary? It’s quite an accomplishment.

The first hour of the debate was a complete and total disgrace. Chuck and George didn’t ask a question of substance for the entire hour. The economy? Nope. Iraq? Nope. Housing Crisis? Nope. Torture? Nope. Health Care? Nope. Afghanistan? Nope. Education? Nope. Energy? Nope. Gas prices? Nope. Tibet and China? Nope. Trade? Nope. The world food crisis? Nope. Global warming? Nope. Immigration? Nope. Terrorism? Nope. Illegal government surveillance? Nope.

The majority of the above topics were not covered at all. The moderators started out with a very important issue that America is very concerned about: Whether or not they will choose each other as Vice President. But the question wasn’t just asked; Chuck pressed the issue with follow-ups as he attempted to get Americans to change the channel.

And then we were off and running to a complete and total night of journalistic embarrassment. For the rest of the hour we were forced to listen to a debate covering pressing issues like Obama using the word "bitter," Reverend Wright’s comments, whether or not Wright is a patriot, Hillary’s Bosnia comments, Hillary’s poor polling on honesty, Obama not wearing a flag lapel pin and Obama knowing a member of the Weather Underground. It was pretty pathetic and George Stephanopoulos was a total douchebag. George went after Obama aggressively, which would have been fine if they had actually been talking about issues. Instead, he covered all the subjects that would give Sean Hannity a hard on. And George just happened to be one of Bill Clinton's senior advisors during the '90s. Total coincidence.

After the first hour, they took a commercial break and came back with a question about Iraq, which was nice because these people are running for president, not editor of the National Enquirer. Then they switched to the economy and Chuck actually had the balls to argue with Obama, like a right wing asshole, about capitol gains tax cuts. His questions were framed as if capital gains tax cuts are great and how can anybody not love them? Of course we also spent time on that hot button issue of affirmative action. At the end, the candidates were given one minute to talk about rising gas prices. One minute. Disgraceful.

The decision to have a former member of President Bill Clinton’s cabinet moderate a debate, when one of the two candidates was a Clinton, is insane. The fact that ABC did not make a disclaimer is an example of how far journalistic ethics have fallen. It was hard to watch George doing the obvious biased bidding of his former master on Obama. Couple that with Chuck asking marginally retarded questions from a right wing perspective and this debate was a mess. It was a nice two-hour example of everything that is wrong with our country. We will never change the problems we face with weak imbeciles, like these two, as our leading journalists. Until politicians are asked tough questions about the issues we face, they will have no reason to take action. Our journalists have a job. It’s called accountability. FAIL.

And I was not alone in my criticism. After 7,500 comments, ABC shut down their debate message board -- only 30 minutes into the West Coast airing. When they realized this would only bring more attention, they fired it up again. Feel free to peruse the hate.

Or, you can read some of the comments from angry bloggers.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

The best line of the night belonged to one of our own. A young lad named PointBlank.

Somebody took a wit class.

For George’s final question, he jumped with two feet into Lake Halfwit.

Ha, ha. Fun! Way to take advantage of the honor America has given you. Now go shoot yourself in the face, George, you useless, biased fuck.

I do not know what in the fuck Hillary Clinton is doing. There is no way she can legitimately win the Democratic nomination. Turns out, a long time ago some asshole invented math and because of math, Hillary cannot win. She is a dead lady walking, which makes her continuing campaign completely absurd.

Clinton has only one strategy at this point: Scare superdelegates into voting against Obama. Either because he’s black, or he knew a guy named Rezko, or he’s black, or he can’t win big states, or he’s black, or because he’s not white. Hillary’s minions are now actually attempting to rename superdelegates. They want them to be called “automatic delegates,” which is apparently more appetizing and will somehow, magically allow Democrats to view them as pleasant, instead of what they are: Undemocratic, party insider bullshit.

Wow, that’s retarded. And Rovian. Good luck with that.

Meanwhile, other delegates chosen directly by voters are not "automatic."

Yes, let’s check the signatures of 1 million voters. Great idea and not at all scumbaggery.

Here is where Hillary’s problem lies.

It’s called reality. The only way she can win the nomination, by getting more delegates and winning the popular vote, is to crush Obama in all the remaining primaries. She has yet to crush Obama in one state primary. He has crushed her in several.

Hillary has also been loudly proclaiming that the Florida and Michigan delegates should be counted. Obviously, she did not come to this brilliant conclusion until she won both states. Hillary also apparently does not remember signing this document:

Hillary’s not going to “participate,” but she’s going to fight for the delegates. Which, is kind of "participating" in the process. She even wants the delegates from Michigan seated, where she was the only name on the ballot and voters were not allowed to write in Obama’s name. That is apparently totally acceptable – especially so in Asshole World.

Obama’s people, obviously, say, “No.”

How about a re-vote? Or, how about we follow the rules that were agreed to ahead of the campaign? How about we act like adults? How about if one of the leading Democratic candidates doesn’t attempt to pull a bullshit move that reminds every voter of Bush’s tactics? Does that sound good?

Apparently not. Hillary’s campaign can’t survive a re-vote. It’s something her biggest supporters don’t understand. So, being incredibly intelligent, I will break it down for them.

Currently the popular vote looks like this:

Obama – 13,281,132
Clinton – 12,577,409

That is without Florida and Michigan. With those two rogue states, it looks like this:

Obama - 13,857,346
Clinton – 13,776,704

Obviously, that’s a big difference. Clinton narrows the lead to under 100,000 with Michigan and Florida counted. But what happens if there is a revote in both states? Uh oh, then Clinton is getting her ass kicked again.

If a revote is agreed to, suddenly Hillary can no longer tell her supporters she is within striking distance. Toss those totals out and she has to accept being down nearly 1 million votes. Considering right now her campaign is running on pure bullshit, she’d be fucked. Even her minions would be forced to recognize that she has failed. The 193 extra delegates Clinton claims are hers, suddenly are not and she looks like the beaten candidate that she is.

And no fucking way in hell can she ever do better that the original, bullshit primaries held in Florida and Michigan. She was the only person on the ballot in Michigan. Latest polls show a tied race in the giant mitten. Obama would gain in delegates and popular vote. In Florida, Edwards was still on the ballot and Obama did not campaign in the state. In every state Obama campaigns in, he drastically cuts Hillary’s lead. Obama only came away with 32% of the vote in Florida. He would obviously get more in a revote. That’s more delegates and more votes.

As of now, Michigan looks like it will have a June revote. I like to call it a re-primary, or a re-mary. Bad news for Clinton. It appears Florida will not have a re-mary and Senator Nelson is calling for the delegates to be seated, but only count as ½.

Nelson is a big Clinton supporter – so his plan is a big blow. A 19 delegate pick up is not what Hillary needs. Her peeps are not pleased.

Well, they’re going to. It’s just not going to be the one you want. Obama is playing this smart.

The Clinton campaign needs to keep people thinking that the Florida and Michigan’s first results will be counted, because that creates uncertainty. Her campaign cannot survive right now without uncertainty. As soon as a resolution is reached, Clinton is toast. She will no longer be able to convince supporters that she will have the lead in delegates or the popular vote when Democrats hold their convention. Superdelegates or “automatic delegates” will never take the suicidal route of reversing the people’s choice.

Hillary is done. She has been since Mini Super Tuesday. There is no way for her to win. I know this because I passed my grammar school math classes. Pack it the fuck in, crazy lady.

Remember way, way, way back in late February, when I wrote an article about the pathetic campaign Hillary was running? Seems like almost 14 days ago and now here we are in March, and the same thing is happening. Only this time, Hillary has switched to new, more destructive talking points.

First let’s start with the 3 a.m. ad. The heinous ad one would expect to come from Rudy Giuliani, not a Democrat.



Oh, fuck yes! At 3 a.m. there is not a person on Earth I want running the show more than Hillary. Why? Because of all her experience during national crises. You know, like, uh…uh….

Obama shot back with a great response.



For those concerned that Obama will not be able to handle the right wing smear machine, you just received an answer. This response ad was created HOURS after Hillary’s ad began airing. I still don’t think John Kerry has responded to the Swift Boat ads. This is a good sign, but also sad because a Democrat is attacking another Democrat on defense. Democrats will always have an image problem on security and when one Dem implies the other is soft on the issue, it’s a big, big fuck up. Get ready for Republicans saying this all summer:

I know, she didn’t say that specifically. But you’d have to be a retard not to get the implication.

Next up, Hillary has decided to claim that John McCain is more qualified to be president than Obama.



Oh, good. Really nice work. You are a true party leader, Hillary. Are there any other Republicans who have more experience than the possible Democratic nominee for president? Any other things McCain is better at than Obama? Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow pretty much summed up how fucking stupid Hillary is being:

Oh, but Hillary’s battle tested. She survived the '90s with incredibly low approval ratings, so she’ll be the perfect Democratic candidate, right? That seems to be her supporters’ main talking point. They claim Obama hasn’t been vetted yet and when the Republican machine is done, he’ll be screwed.

Really? You mean like Hillary? She’s a walking corpse. To survive the Republican machine, you have to be somewhat liked by the public after it’s done – like Al Gore. Hillary is far from Al Gore. And she will be a terrible candidate if the Dems choose her – and not just because she's hated. She also clearly doesn’t know when to shut her pie hole. Here she is on "60 Minutes", not saying the right thing, again.



She’s going to “take him on the basis of what he says. And, you know, there isn’t any reason to doubt that.” Uh huh. There are only two ways to interpret this answer: A) You are a shitty politician because you do not know how to be EXACT with your phrasing. Or B) You knew exactly what you were doing with this answer and tried to muddy the water of the Muslim issue.

I’m going to go with B. Because the obvious answer to this question, if you are a leader of the Democratic Party and not a GOP operative, is: “No. Obama is not a Muslim. He is a Christian. I find it disgusting this question is being raised to frighten Americans with blatant lies. It must stop.”

But she didn’t do that, because her campaign is now about weak attacks, rumors and lies. What is expected from Republicans should be loathed when coming from Democrats. With each passing day, it’s becoming more and more obvious that Hillary no longer has a message, except, “He’s not ready,” he’s giving “false hope,” it’s a “fairy tale,” and he’s a “blank screen.” A couple of months ago, Obama passed Hillary and became the visionary. She simply has no answer. Their policies are too similar, so it comes down to who they are. And that’s not even close.

And it goes on and on. The Clinton campaign has gone as far as to issue a memo stating that if Obama doesn’t kick the crap out of Hillary today, then he sucks. Seriously. It’s retarded.

With logic like that, I don’t know how we can’t vote for her. Seriously, if Obama ends up with more delegates, Dems should obviously pick Hillary, because that will mean she’s the stronger candidate.

Hillary’s spokesmen Howard Wolfson and Phil Singer continued this brilliant attack yesterday.

If by “successful,” you mean 11 straight primary defeats, then you are waaaaaaaaay successful. If you win Texas and Ohio, that's 2 out of 13. I’d actually like to know what you geniuses are doing running for the White House when you clearly belong in the Bush White House of Doublespeak.

On and on it goes.

And the media did just that. They picked up the ball and ran with it. Obama was questioned about the Rezko affair – which seems to have absolutely nothing to it. And he was also repeatedly questioned about the NAFTA issue, which actually seems to be fair game. It was a fuck up by an Obama strategist and they have to answer for it. But if you've just spent your day attacking your opponent, instead of lifting your candidate, I'd say your way off course.

Yesterday, the Clinton camp also put out a new ad, attacking Obama because he has not held a hearing on Afghanistan since taking over as the head of the Senate Subcommittee on European Affairs.



Holy fuck. It is so stupid for a member of Congress to talk shit about another member of Congress skipping out on their duty when running for higher office, because that is exactly what she is doing. How fucking retarded are the people running her campaign? I suggest the lady look up the word hypocrite in the dictionary.

In all her time in the Senate, Hillary has only chaired one subcommittee, and has only attended one hearing of that subcommittee. For those keeping score: Hillary 1, Obama 0. Really fucking aced him on that point.

You’ll notice a trend at this point. First the 3 a.m. ad. Next Hillary says Obama is less experienced than McCain. Now, he is not doing his job. These are all attacks on his great weakness: Security. This will be fantastic ammo for the Republicans if Obama wins the nomination. So much for running on your own “experience” Hillary.

And you put forth a vote for the Iraq War, dipshit. Obama made an anti-war speech during a Senate campaign – when the invasion was immensely popular. He took an unpopular stance that could have cost him a place in Congress. Sorry, that means something.

And we can’t forget the dirty tricks. The Texas primary is split into two parts: First a primary, then a caucus. The delegates are split around 66% from the primary and 33% from the caucus. Obama does very well in caucuses. So, the best way to stop that kind of Democratic movement is with total bullshit.

The Clinton campaign is training their precinct captains to attempt to take over the caucuses.

Uh, how is that fair? Wouldn’t fair be if the majority are represented by the leadership positions? And how do the words “DO NOT” work in a democracy?

Great. At least somebody learned something from George W. Bush. If you can’t win by just getting the most votes, figure out another, more Soviet-like way.

Make no mistake about it; all of this bullshit is starting to tear the party apart.

I always thought it would be the Obama people who were turned off by Clinton, but lately the Clinton supporters have been truly hateful toward Obama. And the fascinating thing is that most of the nasty attacks have come from the Clinton campaign. For the most part, the Obama camp has remained above the dirt. And now the right wing is taking notice.

Perfect. At least he’s got one thing right.

Well, Rush, your wish is coming true.

Instead of presenting herself as the better candidate and emphasizing her clear vision for the country, Hillary is in the gutter, making nasty attacks that will be picked up by the Republican machine when Obama wins. At this point, she is literally running against change and hope. The Democrats cannot afford much more of her dirty campaign tactics, because for the first time Obama’s approval ratings are going down. I guess if Hillary doesn’t win, nobody gets to win.

UPDATE. This was just revealed on a Americablog.. I'm just amazed at the depths Hillary Clinton will sink to.

I was trying to focus on how much I don’t like Hillary Clinton during Tuesday night’s debate, but some asshole kept distracting me. The asshole's name was Tim Russert. Russert’s “job” on Tuesday was to be a moderator. Instead, he wanted to be the star of the debate and decided the best way to achieve his goal was acting like a twunt. He was argumentative, bossy and, most important, asked really stupid questions. Until we get rid of douche bags like Russert, we’re never going to have a decent debate in this country. He exemplifies everything wrong with politics and Washington, DC.

At one point during his spectacular effort, Timmy decided to just make shit up.

Timmy, reality is when something actually occurs. You have created fiction. I know this because it has not happened. I actually applaud Hillary for shutting this asshole down and not answering his bullshit question.

The moment that caused me to lose it was when he let loose with 90 Farrakhan questions. Because, with all that is going on in America, what we really need to know about is what Obama thinks about what someone never said about something Louis Farrakhan said. Seriously, that’s what his question amounted to.



Nicely done. Never mind that Russert had the facts totally wrong. Jeremiah Wright is no longer head of Trinity UCC. Dude is retired. And he NEVER SAID THOSE WORDS. They were printed in a magazine, which written by Wright's daughter. The magazine that printed this statement wasn’t even under the control of Trinity UCC at the time. The magazine hasn’t been associated with the church since 2005. So, Obama has to reject Farrakhan because a guy he knows has a daughter who printed something nice about Farrakhan. Fucking amazing. Russert brought this up because Obama is black and those other black dudes are not saying nice things. And all black people know each other. And it’s a one-way street because we’ve seen a train full of white politicians over the years connected to ministers who have said some horrible fucking things with not a question raised.

Did Huckabee ever get a question from Timmy about his James Dobson endorsement? Or about something Dobson's daughter wrote? What about the many of the lunatics who endorsed Bush? Did any of their nephews ever draw a weird picture? Feel free to watch future debates on MSNBC. Let me know if Russert will goes after McCain for the endorsement he received from anti-gay, Armageddon loving Pastor John C. Hagee. I won’t hold my breath. (Because I would die.)

Oh, and “Trinity United Church.” Hey, Timmy, it’s called the Trinity United Church of Christ. Try nailing down the name of the fucking church before you blather this nonsense out of your pie hole.

The most amazing thing about the Farrakhan exchange was that even after Obama said he “denounced” Farrakhan’s statements, Russert kept going and actually used quotes. What is it about the word “denounce” that you don’t understand Timmy? Oh, and why would anybody care about this subject?

That was the first time Obama has had to deal with the simplistic thug-like questioning of Russert. Hillary has had to deal with this moron for years. When she was running for the Senate in New York, Russert revealed himself to be a Clinton-hating douche bag.

During one debate, he actually asked Hillary if she would apologize for “branding your husband's accusers as part of a right-wing conspiracy.” Uh, no. Mainly because it was a right-wing conspiracy. We know that because ONE OF THE DUDES INVOLVED IN IT SAID IT WAS. But the truth was not enough for Russet and he kept going.

I don't know. Do you regret not knowing what the word "irony" means?

How the fuck does this clown have a job? As a moderator, his job is to be impartial. He is far from it. Later he was interviewed about his moronic debate moment.

Sure, as in, “I have no professional ethics.”

It has gone on and on with Russert. Throughout this campaign, he has been attacking Clinton during each debate he moderated. In September....

And, in October...

“Arguably her third toughest opponent.” What a douche bag. Expect more of this from Russet when it’s down to McCain and Obama.

What politicians and Washington pundits can’t seem to get through their idiotic skulls is we don’t want this shit anymore. They are cheapening the process. We’d like the bickering to stop. We’d like the one team against the other team at all costs to vanish. All of the “gotcha” questions by tools like Russert only cheapen an already cheap process even more. We’d like to know how the politicians are going to deal with our problems, not what one thinks about what a guy said about Louis Farrakhan. We don’t need to know if Hillary produced a photo of Obama in a Kenyan outfit. Russert is an example of everything wrong with America. Please burn him.

Oh man, did the shit hit the asshole this week. (I think that is the correct cliché.) David Shuster was asked to fill in on Tucker Carlson’s show on MSNBC. Now, it’s pretty obvious to most people that when you take someone who doesn’t do a job and give him that job, things might go wrong. Schuster is a reporter, and a damn good one. Carlson is a political pundit, a commentator and a Grade A cunt. Schuster was asked to do a job that he is not accustomed to, one in which hosts are supposed to make controversial comments, and he said something he shouldn’t have.

Okay, that was an unfortunate choice of words. You probably don’t want to use "pimp" in the same sentence as Chelsea. But at the same time, the meaning of the word has very much changed, unless that show on MTV is about people allowing other people to fuck their cars for money. “Pimped him out” or “Pimped her out” simply does not mean turning someone into a prostitute like it used to. The term has taken on many other meanings. BUT, he still should have not said it.

Shuster realized he made a mistake and apologized.



Fair enough. He apologized, now let’s all shake hands and go home. Compared to all the other shit that is said on the air waves, like Rush Limbaugh calling Obama "A spade," this is nothing.

But Shuster apologized again, and then he was suspended for an as of yet to be determined time period. Steve Capus, the president of NBC News called to personally apologize. Shuster attempted to apologize by phone and email to both Chelsea and Hillary, but all attempts were rejected. Now, I don’t want to get into any controversy, but do you know what kind of people reject apologies? Pimps! I'm just saying, take the high road. All these apologies were still not enough for the Clinton campaign and Hillary released a letter she wrote to Capus.

It’s pretty obvious she is calling for David Shuster’s firing. Many of her supporters have claimed that she did not say he should be fired, but that is a load of bullshit. This sentence says it all:

She is telling NBC she wants Shuster fired, which is a brilliant move, because he is one of about three decent reporters in our country. And after all the shit Chris Matthews has said during this campaign that were blatantly misogynist, this is the one she draws a line in the sand over? Probably wouldn’t have anything to do with getting her ass kicked in primaries this week and needing anything to take Obama’s name off the front page, would it?

So, now a possible president of the United States has asked a company, called General Electric, to fire an employee for saying something in poor taste. Anyone know if General Electric does any business with the US? Maybe sells weapons or something?

One would think a woman who could forgive her husband for getting blowjobs in the Oval Office could forgive a good reporter for making one mistake. I hate to stoop to that level, but come on; she is being a total asshole.

And she is benefiting from her bullshit attack. On Saturday, MSNBC preempted a show with no warning to air an episode of “Headliners and Legends” about a lady named Hillary Clinton. It was basically an hour-long puff piece hosted by Matt Lauer. When asked why they decided to suddenly run the program, MSNBC had a great answer.

Uh huh.

It is amazing that Clinton would pick on one of the only decent reporters in the country, who works for a company that employed Don Imus, employs Neanderthal Joe Scarborough, cunt Tucker Carlson and misogynist Chris Matthews. It’s rare to find a day when those assholes don’t make a misogynist comment. I can’t even think of another TV reporter or commentator who has been suspended for making a nasty comment. Ever hear of Fox News? Yeah, apparently Hillary has no problem with that awesome organization.

Other than this one comment from Shuster, I can’t think of another time he has made an even slightly off color remark. He is one of the few reporters with the balls to call Bush a liar, not dance around the torture issue and take on our president’s illegal domestic spying. In other words, he’s on our side. Go get 'em Hillary!

First came the 2000 Florida elections that showed our Democracy to be a total sham. Thousands of voters illegally purged from voter rolls, ballots tossed because of tiny, hanging pieces of paper and ballots that confused voters. Then came Ohio in 2004, with voter intimidation, few polling stations and voting machines in black communities and a sham recount that led to the conviction of elections workers. Now, my state, California, has stepped forward as an example of how to destroy a Democracy.

Yesterday, I went to the polls armed, after studying the propositions for an hour and making my decisions. Mrs. FearTheReaper had advised me the wait was long and the workers were morons, so I was prepared for the worst. But, there was no line when I arrived, mostly because the polling place had changed. Then I remembered it had changed in November and I went to the new polling location. As I walked in, I looked at the arrows and balloons and red, white and blue signs informing me I was at a polling location, which was what I was hoping for. Only, it was not my polling location. My location was now further from my house, naturally.

So, I hoofed it a couple more blocks up the street and finally arrived at my polling location, which now crammed three precincts into one small place. Inside were two massive lines and a table with no line. Luckily, the people from my neighborhood don’t care about voting. I believed at the time I was registered as an Independent, but have since learned I am considered a DTS, Decline to State. The young woman behind the desk asked me if I would like to vote Independent or Democratic today. I responded, “Democratic.”

She then handed me a ballot, which had large, red lettering on top that read. “Democratic Party Ticket.” Then a mentally handicapped gentleman asked me my name and had me sign the register. I then stepped into the nearest booth and attempted to vote. But when I slid the ballot in the instruction book, I noticed a group of horrible names, like Mike Huckabee, John McCain and Mitt Romney. I then noticed a sign on the booth, about as high as my balls, which said, “REP.” Ha. I was in a Republican booth. What the fuck? I’m not The Cooler King. I’m a reasonable human being. That is just the height the sign should be, so no one will see it. Three other people made the same mistake while I was there.

So, I went into the “DEM” booth, placed my Democratic ballot into the book and went to work. First up, it said, “Democratic Party,” then directly below was a giant PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Below were the Democratic candidates. I selected Barack Obama and went on to the rest of the ballot.

When I was done, I went up to another mentally handicapped man and gave him the ballot. He put it in the scanner as I watched the screen. The scanner said my ballot was accepted and off I went. Sound good?

It wasn’t. My vote for Obama did not count. Turns out, that to vote on my Democratic Ballot, I actually had to fill in a bubble that confirmed that I wanted to vote on the ballot I had just asked for. You know, just in case I didn’t know what I was doing. Turns out there was also another party listed up top, above “Democratic Party,” the “American Independent Party.” And that party's name was conveniently in smaller, thinner font, so Democratic Party would look like a title. Oh, and it turns out when the girl at the desk asked me if I wanted to vote Independent of Democratic, she was actually referring to the American Independent Party. I actually thought she meant Independent, because, I’m a fucking Independent. No, wait, I’m not. I’m a Decline to State. But the Decline to State booth was actually labeled “Independent.” Sound pretty clear?

When I turned my ballot over to the mentally handicapped guy and he put it through the scanner, it should have read “Error.” But it didn’t. It just didn’t register my vote for president. Just dropped it. As if it didn’t happen. Because after asking for a Democratic ballot and getting one that said, “Democratic Ticket” in bright, red letters, I should have still filled in a bubble to make it a Democratic Ticket, because voting should be filled with redundancy.

This man summed it up nicely on an LA Times message board.

Did I fuck up? Yep. Should I have been put into a position to fuck up? Fuck no. Perhaps I didn’t do it because it made no sense why it would be necessary, on a Democratic ballot, to note that I’m voting Democratic. I have since talked to several other friends, all college educated, smart people, who made the same mistake. All voted for Obama. And this is where it gets sticky. Independent voters lean heavily toward Obama, so this problem greatly affected his vote count. People have been complaining since late Tuesday to the Secretary of State, the District Attorney, the City Council and any other elected official who will listen. There are 776,000 DTS voters in LA County. Do the math.

LA County is the largest county in the nation. It's larger than nearly two-thirds of the states in the country. There are more than enough votes in this county alone to flip any particular state election.



Sadly, this wasn’t the only problem in California. There were many others. And all just happened to favor Hillary.

Across the state, many voters were dropped off voter rolls. MANY. For no apparent reason. It happened to SG members.

Those are very common stories on message boards, on blogs, and in conversations all over California today. This vote was a class A clusterfuck.

The story was reported in newspapers.

And caught on film.



One problem directly relates to the other. Here is a voter describing the nightmare scenario she experienced.

Knock ‘em off the voter registration, and then drop their votes off the ballot. Now you know how Hillary Clinton kicked the shit out of Barack Obama here in California. But is that all? Fuck no, it’s not!

In many precincts across the state, polling stations ran out of ballots. In America. During an election. In the year 2008.

Twenty percent of California voters are registered as DTS. That is a lot of people and because this was the first important election we have had in 20 years, we came out to vote and to vote in the Democratic election. Apparently the people running our election were caught off guard. By people voting.

Oops. Your bad. No big deal, we’re just picking a president to run our country. Certainly no time to plan for the BEST CASE SCENARIO. Good time to skim and save a few bucks. Definitely don’t want to make sure that everyone registered might actually get the chance to vote.

Some poll workers made quick judgments.

Yeah, you know why they don’t want you to? Because the electronic voting machines were decertified by the Secretary of State. On and on, across the state, voters ran into the same problems.

On and on.

And to put a cherry on top of the royal fuck up, many DTS voters were simply denied Democratic ballots by poll workers.

Maybe you guys should have actually told the fucking rules to the poll workers ahead of time. Just a tip.

Thankfully, our media is all over the story.

Right. Or the LA Times could have written the story this way:

Or this way:

The media is ignoring a massive story. It is only being reported in local newspapers and on local stations, as if it is a local story.

If anyone says Hillary Clinton won California, there is only appropriate response: “We’ll never know.” Why do I say we’ll never know? Because the LA County Acting Registrar of Voters is a wonderful gentleman named Dean Logan.

Those of you living in Washington state will know Dean Logan from the 2004 governor election fiasco between Republican Gov. Elect Dino Rossi and Democrat Christine Gregoire. Logan did a fine job.

He ran a well-oiled machine in Washington.

And there was no reason to not give Logan the LA job.

The man knows what he is doing.

Logan is honest.

He is trustworthy.

And dude clearly knows how to run an office.

Welcome to California, formerly Ohio, formerly Florida. Don’t let anyone tell you Clinton won California.

It’s fascinating to watch the Democrats make the same mistake over and over and over and over again. When I say “over” I mean, Walter Mondale, Michael Dukakis, Al Gore and John Kerry. And now, possibly, Hillary Clinton.

Democrats clearly have a better chance in November if they pick Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton. There are several reasons why. The first, and most obvious, is the war. Hillary’s pathetic attempt to explain why she is no different than Obama is difficult to witness, as it spews from her mouth. Her position on the war defines the term “muddy.”

Democrats will have a far better chance if they pick a nominee who opposed the war from the beginning. Hillary’s record on the war is that she didn’t know enough at the time, or that Bush didn’t execute the war well, or that the intelligence was wrong, or, take your fucking pick. Either way, her bullshit ends up taking Dems back four years to this great phrase:

Ah, John Kerry, that other northeastern, unlikable, liberal Senator. The one Dems rallied behind because the base thought he was the best choice. Get ready for more of the same if the Dems pick Hillary, because they don’t even need to rewrite the commercials, only replace her name. She voted for the war in 2002 and was a supporter of the war until she began to run for president. Dems will be taking one of the greatest weapons off the table if the pick Hillary. She has large leads in many of today’s Super Tuesday states. Fucking morons.

Another reason that Dems are fucking morons to consider Hillary is because Obama has rarely seen oratory skills. Dude can speak and inspire. That is exactly what is needed to defend against the Republican attack machine. Bill had it. Hillary does not. The right wing machine never stopped attacking Bill, and he never stopped kicking their ass because he knew how to talk to the people. Hillary’s lack of talent when it comes to speaking is exactly what killed the campaigns of Mondale, Dukakis, Gore and Kerry. And here we are, watching the exact same suicidal bullshit from the same party.

The Republicans, meanwhile, usually pick the most electable guy. They certainly came to their senses in late January this year. With disasters like Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney gaining traction, they quickly rallied behind McCain. Even now, with the lunatic fringe, like Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin and Rush Limbaugh attacking McCain, the base is going with McCain. Because he is the most electable candidate.

Last week McCain began getting big endorsements from big Republicans, like the governors of Florida, California and Texas. They rally around the only obviously electable candidate of the bunch. Now they are just waiting to see if the Democrats are stupid enough to pick Clinton.

Democrats seem to not understand that they have to approach every election like they are in a deficit. The media is far more brutal to Democratic candidates than it is Republicans. One only needs to look at the complete and total moron in the White House to understand. The only way to combat the bullshit headed their way it to have a great, likable speaker as the nominee. Hillary ain’t it.

So far, Democrats have been coming out in droves to vote for the two candidates. The number of Democrats voting dwarfs the number of Republicans voting in state after state. Why? Because Republicans are disappointed in their choices and upset about Republican leadership over the past few years. The only thing that can change Republican apathy is the nomination of Hillary. Then we can expect Republicans to come out on droves in November, and that will have massive ramifications.

As it stands now, Democrats will ride a tidal wave and gain large advantages in the House and Senate. Barack Obama’s coattails will be huge and the Dems could have the ability to run Washington for at least two years. But if Hillary is the nominee, that probably won’t happen. Republicans will have a reason to vote in November. They will be galvanized to keep Hillary out of office. There is actually no other human being on Earth, who can fire up the conservative base as much as Hillary. And that will have a profound impact on Congressional races, state legislative offices and even city councils. From top to bottom, Republicans will gain from the nomination of Hillary Clinton, both from massive funding and votes. And yet, here we are on Super Tuesday, about to watch Hillary gain a massive advantage.

The latest polls show Obama beating McCain in November. Those same polls also show McCain beating Clinton in ’08. The ones who show Clinton beating McCain, show Obama beating the Republican nominee by a far greater margin. As of today, Clinton is holding onto the nomination, while Obama is charging. Everyday he seems to get closer and closer, but it may be too late. And the Clinton machine is a huge, political beast to overcome.

Today I will vote for Barack Obama in the California primaries. I still may not vote for him for president, but I’m done with the politics of the '90s. It’s time to move on. The divisive nightmare of a Clinton campaign nauseates me. Currently polls show Clinton barely ahead here. In a McCain - Clinton match up, the state is very much in play for Republicans. It’s a blue state no more. Suddenly the Democrats will be forced to defend California, a battle that will be incredibly costly and take away money from other states. This would not happen with an Obama nomination. In a McCain – Obama match up, Obama has a 7-point lead In California.

The choice seems pretty obvious, if you are a Democrat, but these idiots nominated Mondale, Dukakis, Gore and Kerry, so I don’t expect much. Never underestimate the suicidal nature of the Democratic Party.

It is interesting to watch the slow motion Democratic train wreck, for so many reasons. For the first time in history a black man and a woman are battling it out to be the nominee of one of America’s two parties. The contest is close and has become heated at times, which has led to some depressing actions from the Clinton campaign.

Sadly, Obama’s victory in South Carolina went just as the Clinton’s hoped it would. Obama’s crushing victory was portrayed by the Clintons as a result of race, nothing more. Bill immediately came out and made a very ugly statement on TV.




Get it? Barack is black. So is Jesse Jackson. Never mind the many white candidates who have won South Carolina over the years, but come up short in the race to be the Democratic nominee. They aren’t as good of an example. Jesse Jackson represents the old school black candidate. He’s the guy black people vote for and whites don’t, a glaring example of the separation between blacks and whites in our country. With his simple statement, Bill Clinton was telling white America that Barack Obama is the black candidate and that is something to fear.

Many want to deny this is what their precious Clintons were up to. They claim Bill misspoke or the footage was edited to remove context. Both are bullshit excuses. The transcript is available for all to read and Bill is the guy who came up with the delightful quote, “Depends what your definition of “is” is.” He doesn’t make mistakes when he speaks, his clever oratory abilities are what got him into the White House.

Add to that, this little Clinton campaign quote and it’s pretty obvious what the Clintons were doing.

The Clintons are ugly human beings. The goal is to take us back in time 20 years, push America to see Obama simply as the candidate of blacks, like Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson, and cause his support among whites, Hispanics and other ethnic groups to plummet. Hopefully it backfires.

Sadly, this is just one of many aspects of the current race that has the possibility of tearing the Democratic Party apart. Right now there are three big, ugly elephants sitting in the room and Dems are hoping they don’t start to roar or take a huge, pachyderm shit. Problem number two involves delegate stripping and problem number three is the super delegate.

It’s cute that many of you Democrats believe your vote counts. It doesn’t. You are meaningless. I mean, you get to vote and your vote is tallied and hopefully your candidate is nominated. But if the race is close and it comes down to the last few states, then you are meaningless. The Democratic Party made sure long ago that you filthy, little peasants wouldn’t pick a candidate they didn’t like.

In the '70s, things did not go the way party leaders wanted them to go. George McGovern won in '72, then got his ass kicked by Nixon. Then outsider Jimmy Carter won in '76 – and immediately battled his own party in Congress. Next up, Ted Kennedy further fractured the party in 1980 by running against Carter. Democratic insiders had had enough of this democracy bullshit. Their way of fixing the system was to invent super delegates.

Party leaders created super delegates in 1982, to control the nomination process. Democratic leaders gave themselves a large portion of delegates that have nothing to do with the voting process. They are members of Congress, governors and elected members of the DNC. Altogether, there are 796 super delegates, or 20% of the number needed to secure the nomination. Would you vote in the general election if you knew that 20% of the votes would come from a bunch of government insiders? How exactly is that democracy?

But, it works out for everybody involved. The delegates have massive power, which leads to back scratching (money and jobs) from the future president. This year, Hillary has already won the backing of an overwhelming number of super delegates. If voters were electing the Democratic nominee, Hillary would be behind Obama 48-63. With super delegates added in, Hillary is actually ahead 249-179. How’s your democracy going, suckers?

If this continues, or is at all a factor when the convention rolls around, the Democrats will have a civil war on their hands. The party will split in two and a massive number of Democratic voters will become disillusioned. So, what should a candidate do during these uneasy times? A smart candidate would makes sure they legitimately secure the nomination and not rock the boat. But Hillary Clinton is a power hungry idiot.

In December, the Democratic National Committee stripped Michigan and Florida of their votes. They were forced to do because Michigan and Florida moved up their primaries, after being repeatedly warned not to do so. Now Hillary is challenging that decision; shockingly right after she won Michigan, where she was the only nominee to appear on the ballot. More on that in a minute first lets get back to the stripping.

Michigan has been complaining for years about Iowa and New Hampshire going first. Michigan party leaders believe the two states are really, really white and, therefore, do not fully represent the nation. Also, Michigan has been hit by difficult economic times and the state wants candidates to address the issues, instead of skipping it every year. Michigan threatened to move it’s primary up in 2000 and 2004. Both times, the DNC begged the state not to, and guaranteed the process would change "next time." But, it never did. So, this year, Michigan moved their primary up, to January 15th.

Now, this put the DNC is a very difficult position. What is the point of having rules, if they are not punished when broken? (See Bush White House) Also, if the DNC did not do something, states would just keep pushing up their dates in an attempt to be first and we would end up starting primaries in October. There has to be some sort of order, but Michigan took a chance and ended up getting kneed the nuts. In the long run, it will benefit everyone because the DNC will be forced to look at the current lame primary system. But, in 2008, Michigan is screwed.

Florida was a different story. Republicans hosed the Democrats in Florida. The Republican legislature voted to move the primary up and the GOP governor signed off, knowing it would fuck over Democrats in the state. It was completely out of Florida Democrats control. And to add to the heinous act, Republicans have a pretty, little ballot measure they love on the January 29th ballot. By eliminating the importance of the Democratic nomination process, they lessen the number of Democratic voters who will head to the polls and can win their “property tax relief” ballot measure. It is classic Republican democracy, which always focuses on the best way to get less people to vote. The DNC also stripped Florida of it's delegates.

Florida and Michigan are still demanding their delegates are counted at the convention. Michigan already voted and Hillary won with 55%, because Kucinich was the only other candidate on the ballot. Hillary also pulled a sleazy move by getting the Michigan governor, a Clinton supporter, to change the rules so write-ins would be tossed out. You literally could not vote for Obama or Edwards in Michigan if you wanted to. But, that’s our Hillary. Whatever it takes.

And she’s not done. Hillary is now making noise to get Michigan’s 174 delegates and Florida’s 210 delegates counted. Now. Not before the Michigan primary. After. When she had won the state. Against no competition. Because the other candidates were following the rules of the DNC.

Her timing in asking for the delegates to be counted now is obvious and sleazy. Some would call it good politics, others, with brains, would call it disillusioning and Rovian. Hillary’s reasoning is obvious. She is making this move before the Florida election to get in the good graces of Democrats in Florida, where Barack is also on the ballot, unlike Michigan. And just to make things pleasant and keep the party intact, she’s publicly saying that if the other Democratic candidates support the DNC decision, they will appear to be anti-Michigan and anti-Florida. She is also campaigning in Florida. This all comes just a couple of months after she gave her word that she would do no such thing.

Politically, in a winner-take-all world, it’s a great idea. If she is able to win and make these delegates count, she will get the nomination. But, it is not winner-take-all. It's a primary process and she needs her opponents supporters to side with her if she wins the nomination. Will the price she will pay for winning the Democratic nomination be worth it?

Or, to put it another way; how fucking stupid is Hillary Clinton? The all out war to win the nomination will have consequences. These tactics could easily push her over the edge and Obama’s supporters will feel she stole her victory by being underhanded. Hardball politics has unintended consequences and she is playing as hardball as it gets. What will black voters think if the Clinton’s version of the Southern Strategy works? What will Obama’s new, young voters think if the rules are changed and the delegates suddenly count? And what will all Democrats think if Hillary wins the nomination because a bunch of Washington DC politicians had the final say? Her actions are inexcusable. I'm actually starting to wonder if all those right wing people attacking Hillary throughout the 90s were right and I doubt I'm alone.

Welcome to the Democratic train wreck. In a year when they should have it all, they are throwing it away.

“I’ve waited so long for a woman president. Now we have one who has a legitimate chance, and she’s no different than the ones with dicks.”

- Mrs. FearTheReaper

We all knew it was coming. The Democrats would take off the gloves and go with a bare-knuckle brawl. It was actually rather pathetic to watch. There is nothing like watching two people from the same party talking over each other, getting angry and lying out of their assholes.

I didn’t think it was possible to dislike Hillary Clinton more, but she managed to take it up a level. Barack Obama was attacked from two sides and landed some heavy hits back, but overall came out looking like a man who cannot defend himself all that well. John Edwards is John Edwards. He stayed out of the fighting for the most part, but he will still lose.

I used to co-host a radio show on this thing called the radio. The first thing you learn when working on TV or the radio, is not to talk over other people, because you look like an asshole. The three assholes spent an entire evening trying to talk over each other like my alcoholic family on Thanksgiving.

The buildup to this battle has been long and ugly. Hillary and Bill have been hitting Obama with a series of slimy attacks since Iowa. Their bullshit became particularly heinous in Nevada and Bill is losing the respect of some of his base. Obama has also been hit with claims of voter suppression by the press. Tonight, Hillary let loose with some more bullshit and it led to an ugly couple of minutes



The Democratic base has been a buzz about Obama’s Reagan comments. Some are livid that Obama “praised” Reagan; while others don’t know what the fuck the livid people are talking about.



There’s a guy not praising Reagan, but simply speaking facts. As much as Republicans have rewritten the history of Ronald Reagan and turned the bumbling, shitty actor into some sort of demi-God, now Democrats seem to want to rewrite history and dismiss what Reagan did accomplish, which is this: He pulled the entire country together and got them to vote for his retarded ass. He kicked the shit out of Walter Mondale in a landslide and changed the entire political landscape. Those cunty Republicans running around ruining the country now are the direct result of Reagan’s revolution. At no point in that statement does Obama praise Reagan. He only states fact. For Hillary to twist it into praise is exactly why I dislike her. She actually claimed Obama said he "liked" the ideas of the Republicans? That is an outright lie.

Throughout the night, Hillary claimed she was the candidate who was best equipped to beat the Republican nominee in the general election.

That would also be why you have such high disapproval ratings. Hillary also used her bullshit experience line again; apparently still unaware that Obama has more time working as a lawmaker. Hillary has one term as a Senator and some change. Obama has 12 years in the Illinois legislature and 3 years in the Senate.

The lowest point of the debate came when Hillary attempted to paint Obama as being soft on…porn and sexual abuse. Yeah, she did.

Clinton was booed for her low blow/Rovian attack. According the New York Times, 50% of those ‘present’ votes were part of Democratic leadership strategy. And voting present is common in Illinois.

But most importantly, what the fuck is Hillary attempting to say? That Obama is okay with kids looking at porn or buying dildos? Or that he is okay with rape? I understand bringing up the issue of the ‘present’ votes, but connecting sexual abuse and porn is strictly a Republican move. And that is why she was booed.

Hillary will do anything to win. Some Democrats enjoy the idea that she is a “fighting Dem.” But when she is fighting dirty against fellow Democrats, she will only push potential voters away and erode the base. I believe this kind of shit will lead to a loss in the general election, because the press does not treat Democrats the same as Republicans. As much as Hillary gets away with it now, she will be torn asunder if she is the Democratic candidate and lies during a debate.

Obama, on the other hand, looks like a political novice. Since Iowa, he has been on the defensive, which means he is unable to get his message out. Add in the race baiting, the misogyny attacks in the press, Bill’s ugly and untruthful attacks and the Rovian politics and the Democratic base is beginning to fracture. Just read two popular liberal blogs, Daily Kos and TalkLeft. The readers of Kos launch savage attacks against Hillary and the kids at TalkLeft rip into Obama with equal tenacity. Now the two blogs have begun ripping into each other. The wheels are coming off the donkey.

Yes, indeed, you read that headline correctly. I hope many of the idiots who bought houses during the bubble lose them. It is my wish because they are fucking morons who hoped to make a quick buck and caused housing prices to rise far beyond what they are worth. Those of us, who sat it out and shook our heads at the fools grabbing every property around, are now sitting back watching as prices come back down. But it is going to be a long wait because of retarded politicians, like Hillary Clinton and George Bush.

Last month, Hillary proposed economic aid for idiots who took loans they could not afford. Basically, she wants to bail out financial morons and fuck over the smart investor who sat the housing buying frenzy out. She wants to fuck over the guy who already got fucked over by the jump in housing prices because of morons. Did I mention she is an idiot?

Two days ago, she proposed heaping more money on the retard pile.

Bush, being a moron, is also for moving forward with his own plan to help the idiots who bought houses they couldn't afford.

Fuck you. You know why I didn’t buy a Porsche last year? Because I couldn’t afford one. And I didn’t look for an idiot to loan me the money that I didn’t have. All of the assholes who bought houses they couldn’t afford should now lose their homes. Because they are idiots and idiots deserve to suffer. Buddha said that.

If the government steps in to help these assholes, then taxpayers and future borrowers will pay for the bailout. Only two parties should be paying for this mess: The buyers and the lenders. A bailout only delays the inevitable, propping up shitty credit and allowing idiots to continue to make more idiotic financial choices.

When the stock market crashed in 1999, people began to invest in property. Then property rates began to shoot up. The increase in property prices far surpassed wage increases, which should have been a warning sign for anyone with a brain that the process would not sustain. Unfortunately, we live in a world of morons. People thought they would never be able to afford a home, so they started taking loans they could not afford. And companies began giving loans to people who were not credit worthy. These are the two parties who should suffer, not the rest of us.

Cheap, shitty credit created a housing bubble. In the old days, banks would attempt to minimize risk by requiring that purchasers not buy a home that consumes more than 25% of their income in mortgage payments. And they would ask for a significant down payment, like 20%. But then banks began to run out of people to sell loans to, because not everyone was meeting the requirements. So, they threw the requirements out the window. People began paying more and more of their income to mortgages. Now the level has risen from an average of 25% to 44% of gross income. Anyone who takes a loan or gives a loan that would require someone to pay 44% of their income to a mortgage is a fucking asshole who deserves to lose. And I should be able to laugh at them. After all, it is America, where we laugh at idiots and enjoy their suffering.

So, now a bunch of morons, who bought during the bubble, are going to end up owing more money on their home than it is worth. When your home is worth less than what you owe on it, it is called “negative equity.” Once it occurs, homeowners are trapped. They can’t sell but they still have to make payments. And there are a lot of people out there who will find themselves, or already find themselves, in the negative equity trap, because existing home sales more than doubled between 1989 and early 2007.

It will not end anytime soon, especially if the government attempts retarded band-aid fixes, like the ones proposed by Bush and Clinton. This exact same situation occurred in Japan in the '90s. The process lasted 12 years up, 12 years down, with a decline as long as the increase. Billions in yen were owed on homes that were worth half the mortgage. Many went into foreclosure, rather than pay inflated prices. The banks were left with “non-performing loans” and houses that no one wanted or could afford to buy. Without income, banks had no money to lend, which lead to a downward spiral. The entire economy stagnated.



"As it goes up, it goes down," if I may quote Guided by Voices. That is what we are facing. The sooner we let the process take place, the sooner we can get it over with. Assholes like Bush and Clinton will only prolong the pain with their bullshit plans. They will never be able to stop it. So, to the idiot: I hope you lose your home, and I hope it happens sooner, rather than later.

Happy Asshole Fuckface Roundup Day. Many yearn to know the identity of the very first Asshole Fuckface. He was a Frenchman, of course. Gilles de Rais was a nobleman and soldier who lived during the 1400s. After retiring from the army, Rais took up a new hobby of child killing. He would lure fair-haired and blue-eyed boys to his homes -- then rape, torture and mutilate them. After he was finished, Rais would cut off and line up their heads. He killed between 80 and 200 children. Rais was executed after being declared the first Asshole Fuckface. Since that day the burden of uncovering Asshole Fuckfaces has been passed on. Today, I scour the weekly news, looking for the worst of the worst. This week, there was no shortage of horrible people, so put on your safety goggles; this is going to be ugly.

My first Asshole Fuckface is a delightful media misogynist.

Chris Matthews is a horrible, horrible human being. For years, Matthews has been making derogatory comments about women and he seems to have finally lost his mind over Hillary Clinton. Matthews’ hatred for Clinton is blatant and deep-seated.

The day after Hillary won the New Hampshire primary, Chris went completely batshit crazy with this outstanding Asshole Fuckface rant.




Holy fucking shit.

One could certainly make the argument that Hillary became a Senator simply because her husband was president. Same thing could be said of George Bush and Jeb Bush and many politicians since the beginning of our country. But to say that she was elected Senator because Bill was getting hummers in the oval office is fucking amazing. How this Asshole Fuckface still has a job is beyond my understanding.

Next up, some big companies get the Asshole Fuckface nod.

For months now, the Bush Administration and telecom companies have been pushing a FISA "reform" bill that would give the companies retroactive immunity for warrantless wiretapping. They argued the program was critical to national security and without immunity, the program would be stopped and the country would be in danger. Chris Dodd stood up and single-handedly stopped the bill with a filibuster.

This week we learned how very much the telecom companies care about our national security.

Amazing Asshole Fuckfacery. They want immunity, because they claim if they are sued, they won’t be able to continue with the warrantless wiretapping program, which would make us less safe as a nation. See, it’s not about money; it is about the safety of America. Oh, and if the bills are not paid, then they can’t help out.

Thanks for “keeping us safe” from the terrorists, you complete and total Asshole Fuckfaces.

I don’t think anyone in this country doubted that racists would begin rearing their ugly heads as Obama became more successful -- but who thought it would be Asshole Fuckface politicians and pundits leading the way?

I come from an upper middle class background and there was no shortage of racist comments when I was growing up. But the well off white folks are usually quite good at hiding their nasty side. That seems to have gone out the window, now that Obama is a genuine contender for president. The Asshole Fuckfaces are showing their true colors.

It is no surprise that Karl Rove let loose with some classics in the Wall Street Journal this week.

Obama’s just a trash talking, lazy, basketball playing, exaggerating and lying Negro. Fucking amazing. Sadly, the bullshit was not just coming from the Republican side; Hillary’s people are getting into the action also. One of her supporters and New York state Attorney General Andrew Cuomo made this asinine comment.

Oh. Shit. Hey, Andy, “shuck and jive” is sort of a derogatory phrase.

Nice work, Asshole Fuckface. Cuomo, of course, quickly stated that he didn’t mean anything by the comment.

Oh, then all is okey dokey. You were just talking about random candidates, like the opponents of your favorite, Hillary, the main one whom happens to be black and you used the term “shuck and jive.” Totally a coincidence. Oh, and I have NEVER used the term “shuck and jive” instead of “bob and weave.” NEVER.

And Hillary’s peeps weren’t done there. Yesterday, The Guardian reported this little gem from a Clinton advisor.

Finally, anyone who attempts to make the movie Weekend at Bernie's come to life is a complete Asshole Fuckface.

Meet James O’Hare and David Daloia. They are a couple of 65-year-old guys, who haven’t lived the best of lives. James has been living with his buddy Virgilio Cintron for years in Hells Kitchen and they’ve been having a pretty good time.

All three are known heroin addicts in the neighborhood. This week, James and David showed up at a 99-cent discount store on 10th avenue to cash one of Virgilio’s Social Security checks, but the owner refused unless Virgilio was present. That was, however, going to be difficult because Virgilio was dead.

Unfortunately, there was a cop eating at a restaurant next door. He noticed that one of the trio was sort of dead.

That is some kick-ass police work. The cop confronted the two alive guys, who explained that they were cashing their friend’s check. The detective called an ambulance and arrested our two Asshole Fuckfaces. Although, it wasn’t that easy because James was pretty determined to cash that check.

James and David have been arrested and charged with attempted forgery, attempted possession of a forged instrument and petty larceny, but not for attempted imitation of Andrew McCarthy.

Congrats to all of this week's Asshole Fuckfaces, you each get a FearTheReaper pair of bedazzled jeans!

Two days ago we learned that Iran halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003. This fact came to light because of a leaked National Intelligence Estimate report, which was created by 16 different American spy agencies.

The really exciting part of this news is that Bush kinda, sorta knew in August. The reason I say kinda, sorta, is because the administration is attempting to spin this in a way that can only be described as completely retarded. When questioned about when Bush was told of the information, National Security Advisor (lied about Iraq) Steven Hadley broke it down.

Uh, yeah. So, you have 16 American spy agencies who all come to the conclusion that Iran has halted its nuclear weapons program and you kids decide not to tell the guy who is apparently making a total and complete fucking asshole out of himself in front of the country and the world. I’m just trying to break this down in a way that I can understand it. You allowed the President and Vice President and Secretary of State to lie to the American public repeatedly for months – because you wanted to keep reading something that was already complete. Okay.

Now based on that information, Steven, I am going to have to call you a total fucking liar and asshole. Sorry. Yesterday Bush was asked directly about the report and when he knew what it contained.



Heyoooo! That’s hilarious. Now we have two huge fucking liars. Although, he could also be totally detached, insulated and incompetent. It is really, really hard to choose. Wait! He’s all four!

This is such an astounding level of either willful ignorance or lying that it should be an impeachable offense. Joe Biden pretty much summed it up.

Can't really argue with that. But Bush is not alone in his stupidity.

Last night's Democratic debate on NPR also covered the Iran situation. If you remember, Hillary Clinton decided to take the position of hawk on Iran when she voted to declare Iran’s Revolutionary Guard a foreign terrorist organization. Hell, she was even calling Bush a pussy on Iran back in 2006. In light of the new NIE, Clinton was obviously going to be called out on her idiotic vote during last night’s debate.

Clinton kept yammering on until moderator dude stepped in.

"Many of you" just doesn't include 16 government intelligence agencies. Hey, Hillary, there’s a fella named George Bush I’d like to introduce you to. You kids have a lot in common when it comes to being assholes.