Asshole Fuckface Roundup #92
Hello, minions. After a week absence, I have returned. I apologize for not being there for you on Tuesday. An Asshole Fuckface entered my right eustachian tube and felled me for a couple of days. It was touch and go, almost perished and all that stuff. But now I am alive again and my eustachian tube is popping and pain free, which means the Asshole Fuckfaces of the world are quivering in their boots because they are about to be exposed. So, grab your favorite antibiotic because this is going to be messy.
First up, some religious Asshole Fuckfacery.
Finally, some Asshole Fuckfaces made a public service announcement against gay marriage. Its a delightful piece of art.
Holy shit. Their freedom will be taken away. They are going to be locked in dungeons and fed dung beetles. Thats just one result of gays marrying. Also, that poor doctor has to choose between doing her job the way she wants or letting gay people live. How fucked up is that?
How terrible is it that a mother has to send her kids to a school in which teachers actually teach students that gay people are not an abomination? What kind of world are we living in? And why aren't there any religious schools for her to send her child to? And why wouldn't a woman so devoted to her crazy religious beliefs that she would appear in an ad send her kid to a private school? Indeed, why wouldn't she home school her spawn so she can properly pass on her crazy unfiltered beliefs?
That other girl says she will have no choice. Thats right. You didnt know this but she is going to be forced to marry a woman and engage in oral sex for the rest of her life. The gays are coming people, and they are coming like a storm. Its going to be raining cocks (on men) and vaginas (on women).
Whats next? People marrying dogs? Yes, actually, that is next. Weve already started fucking them in preparation for the groundbreaking dog marriage bill of 2012. After that, we are going to want to marry badgers, panthers, and sofas. You think we are destroying marriage now, wait until I marry my carpet. A storm is coming indeed.
Next, some of our anti-gay friends spiritual Asshole Fuckfaces are busy in Iraq.
Remember when we liberated Iraq? How awesome was that? Not awesome for gay people, apparently.
At least three men suspected of being gay were gunned down March 20 in the Iraqi city of Ramadi. U.S. forces say they are concerned about the rising number of anti-gay killings in Iraq.
Who would have thought liberating religious extremists living in the birthplace of the Shiite religion would lead to something horrible?
The bodies of two gay men have been found in Baghdad's Shiite slum of Sadr City after a leading cleric repeatedly condemned homosexuality, an Iraqi police official said Saturday.
The killings come after Shiite cleric Sattar al-Battat repeatedly condemned homosexuality during recent Friday prayers, saying Islam prohibits homosexuality. Homosexual acts are punishable by up to seven years in prison in Iraq.
And its not just street killings. It seems the wonderful Iraqi government has decided to execute gays for being, well, gay.
More than 100 prisoners in Iraq are facing execution. Many of them, says an underground gay rights organization in the country, are believed to have been convicted of the 'crime' of being gay, the UK-based Iraqi-LGBT group revealed this afternoon.
According to Ali Hili of Iraqi-LGBT, the Iraqi authorities plan to start executing them in batches of 20 from this week. There is, said Hili, at least one member of Iraqi-LGBT who are among those to be put to death.
Good times. Hope you are enjoying your freedom.
Next up, some Asshole Fuckface advice from Texas.
Ah, Texas, you do not let me down. Look, I understand its hard being super white and stupid, especially in todays world, with all of these foreign types coming in and walking around like they own the place. Obviously, there are solutions to help the super white. Texas State Representative Betty Brown unveiled one this week.
A North Texas legislator during House testimony on voter identification legislation said Asian-descent voters should adopt names that are easier for Americans to deal with.
Yes. Please. Look, its hard being an old, white lady who was raised around names like Jones, Stephens and Blake to suddenly be looking at a name like Dat Si Cho. How about you change that name to Dan Milford? America just became a little bit easier, did it not?
Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese I understand its a rather difficult language do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here? Brown said.
Cant you see that this is something that would make it a lot easier for you and the people who are poll workers if you could adopt a name just for identification purposes thats easier for Americans to deal with?
Makes a lot of sense.
Next up, some Democratic Party Asshole Fuckfacery.
Remember how Harry Reid is the biggest, most spineless, waste of space ever to walk the halls of Congress? Remember how Harry allowed Joe Lieberman to remain Chairman of the Senate Homeland Security Committee, even after he spoke at the Republican National Convention and called Obama all sorts of names? Remember when Joe allowed George Bush to do whatever the fuck he wanted while he was Chairman of the Senate Homeland Security Committee and Democrats said he should be removed this year because hes an Asshole Fuckface who will screw with Obamas agenda? And then Harry let him stay?
Lieberman, the self-described independent Democrat who questioned Obamas credentials to serve as commander in chief during the 2008 campaign, has panned the Obama administrations proposal to cut the nations missile defense shield.
Liebermans opposition is problematic for the Obama administration because he is chairman of the Senate Homeland Security Committee, the panel charged with assessing threats to the nation.
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Harry Reid should be waterboarded.
Finally, I save the worst Asshole Fuckface conduct for last. There is something horrible happening in America and many are not even aware of it. It is growing in strength every week and may soon become a serious threat to our daily life.
It is called Adam Lambert. It is a contestant on American Idol. It is being hailed as the greatest find in American Idol history. Here you can watch it rape a Rolling Stones song.
How happy would Andrew Lloyd Webber be with that? I believe doing a gay musical version of any Rolling Stones song is a crime against humanity. Sadly, it cannot be stopped. The judges on American Idol apparently jerk off every time it takes the stage. Its like watching an asteroid heading towards Earth. We will all suffer particularly those of us with young daughters.
Daughtry was bad enough, this is unforgivable.
FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper
Harry Reid: Big Pile Of Lame
The fun of watching Harry Reid poke his anus into the air for all to penetrate never seems to end. He is one of the weakest men in Washington, completely unable or unwilling to use his power to accomplish what needs to be done. From allowing Republicans to constantly filibuster without actually filibustering, to rolling over like a bitch for Bush for years, it is mystifying the loser is still allowed to keep his job. But who wouldnt want a pro-life, anti-gay marriage, big business lovin man who voted to invade Iraq. Hes got Democrat stamped all over him.
Basically, Reid is a Republican, or what was a Republican 20 years ago before Washington became completely insane. And hes running the Senate for the Democrats. Reid is a huge problem and hes a Mormon, so he wears weird underwear, which is very troubling. This week Harry decided to tell MoveOn to simmer down. Take it down a notch, with all your asking for what you want and partaking in the political process while grandpas trying to bury his spine in the backyard.
Harry is upset because liberal groups have begun campaigns targeting the new Moderate Democratic group in the Senate. They are an exciting group of Blue Dog Democrats who think we should reduce spending on random stuff. They never actually provide a concrete reason why some project should be eliminated and another should survive, they just basically want to be able to say they did something awesome with the budget. It's economic stupidity for the worst reason and they are doing it at a time when doing shit halfway is about as stupid as it gets.
One organization, Americans United for Change, released a new television ad Wednesday. The group says it will probably spend more than $700,000 on airing the spot in places like Indiana, Nebraska and North Dakota -- home to key moderate Democratic Sens. Evan Bayh, Ben Nelson and Kent Conrad, respectively.
At the same time, Moveon.org is going after the Blue Dogs with radio ads. Fine. Whatever. This is how politics works. Here we have two factions of the same party who strongly disagree on an issue. This is what happens. But, oh wait, Grandpa Soft from Nevada doesn't like it when the left criticizes his precious moderates.
Harry Reid has a message for the liberal groups who are trying to pressure moderate Democrats not to desert President Obama's budget: cut it out.
I think it's very unwise and not helpful. It's not helpful to me, it's not helpful to the Democratic caucus.
Right, because it's super helpful to have the Democratic caucus split apart because you have no leadership ability. And, of course, its not helpful to make your opinion known. To put pressure on a FUCKING POLITICIAN to get what you want. Who has ever heard of such a thing? My God, why dont you just shit in their faces? When we begin subjecting our politicians, who appear to be aiding their opponents, to pressure, then we are doomed. In Harry Reids world of politics, you cave quietly behind closed doors. Keep it down, Daddys giving in back here.
But Reid said that effort completely misses the nature of the Senate. "Legislation is the art of compromise," he said. "Consensus-building."
Jesus Christ. Or should I say, Joseph Smith. Is Harry Reid really explaining the art of compromise? Harrys version of compromising is to drop his pants, lube up his anus, and enter the room backwards. His art of compromise gave Bush every dime he wanted for the Iraq War, a disturbing FISA bill, a free pass on torture, put insane judge after insane judge on the bench, and an endless stream of torture happy department heads. Hes soft and weak, which is the job of people not in power.
And now hes decided to tell a strong political group to shut up, because its unwise and unhelpful to fight for what you believe in. How in the fuck is it unhelpful to pressure Democrats not to act against their DEMOCRATIC president? Are the Blue Dog Senators going to throw a tantrum and, uh, I dont know, do exactly what they are doing? Maybe if Harry were capable of doing the job, the groups that make up the Democratic base wouldnt have to take action. What Harry Reid doesnt play hardball, he plays fearball and it has led to an endless stream of failures.
The fact that Harry Reid has remained in power for so long is an indictment against all Senate Democrats. In the end, its not Harrys fault, its the Democratic Senate Caucus. I wouldnt let a drunk keep driving the bus after seven years of running into cars and killing people, but thats exactly what they are doing. Hes inept and hes shown it over and over again. The Democrats are frightened, little animals, even with a large majority. They dont want to oust a man who believes strongly that a woman shouldnt have the choice to choose, who gave in time after time to Bush and the Republicans and who refuses to make Republicans filibuster when they threaten to do so. The failure isnt Harry; hes just being himself. I wouldnt get mad at a jellyfish because it cant climb a ladder. Its got no hands and no spine. Just like Harrys got no leadership skills - and no spine.
FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper
Asshole Fuckface Roundup #81
Here we are again, staring another Asshole Fuckface Roundup in the face. Dont be scared. Several Asshole Fuckfaces were sent to obscurity this week, rarely to be heard from again. Henceforth, all we will hear from the Asshole Fuckface administration is occasional whining and complaining. Thats a lot better than the in your face stupidity weve been subjected to for 8 years. Sadly, Asshole Fuckfaces still exist. They are still quite active and it is still my job to point them out to you, so that you may mock them. Someone has to do it. So, put on your most fluid resistant moccasins, because this is going to be ugly.
First up, some Asshole Fuckface baking.
People who live in New York City think it is the greatest place on Earth. I lived there for five years. I disagree, mostly because the city has an astounding number of fucking idiots running about. It is a cornucopia of Asshole Fuckfaces. Take Ted Kefalinos, baker and owner of Lafayette French Pastry in Greenwich Village. Ted decided to celebrate our new presidents inauguration by baking some Drunken Negro Head cookies.
A shocked customer tells My Fox NY that Ted Kefalinos, proprietor of Lafayette French Pastry, asked her, "Would you like some drunken negro heads to go with your coffee? They're in honor of our new president. He's following in the same path of Abraham Lincoln; he will get his."
Um. So. You. Eh.
The name of the cookies seems to change. Sometimes Ted calls them Drunken Negro Cookies and other times he calls them Drunken Nigger Cookies. And no one has burned down his store. Strange. But Ted totally gets how some people could be offended.
"I called them Drunken Negro Heads. What's the problem with that?"
I said, Ted totally gets how some people could be offended.
My brother-in-law, he's Cuban, so I like everybody.
Well, since your now horribly ashamed sister married a Cuban fella, you should be able to make any racist cookie you want. Please send me some Stingy Kike Puffs and a few Dirty Spicwhiches
Four years of this shit, at least.
Next up, some fantastic military Asshole Fuckfacery.
Our military is awesome. Not only do they make our soldiers fight on and on and on with no break, but they also charge them for uniforms and stuff.
"I'm so proud to be in the military...at the same time I just could not believe that when I got back after sacrificing so much that I owed the Army money," the soldier said.
This soldier got a bill for about $500 dollars for lost gear. Another soldier had to pay nearly $800 dollars for items such as trousers, a coat, a helmet which he lost during a year spent in some of Iraq's most dangerous towns.
Since when did working in the military become like working at Taco Bell?
- Um, listen. I realize you just fought in a ridiculous, horribly planned war and we didnt give you the proper armor and stuff, but can we have those pants back? You dont have the pants? Seriously, were not kidding. We really need the pants. Weve only got one pair for each dude and we need all of them.
I dont know how these guys could misplace any gear in a war situation. Dont they check to make sure they have all their stuff?
"Maybe you were lying down with a coat behind your head and you come under fire. Your first reaction isn't to grab coat fold it neatly and make sure it's properly stowed when you're being shot at," another soldier said.
Oh, right. ITS A FUCKING WAR.
These two soldiers asked us to cover their faces because they're considering making a career of the military. They say the bills are a blow to morale.
You dont say.
And in this letter, an uncle details how when his nephew handed in his Army uniform after returning home from Iraq, "they made him pay for parts of it because it was blood stained during combat along the Syrian border."
Honestly, it was careless. And he could have gotten it dry-cleaned. How about a little respect for the uniform? You dont see me walking around in a blood-covered suit, do you?
Next up, some Democratic Leadership Asshole Fuckfacery.
Harry Reid may be the most useless, pathetic Democrat in the country. The man is a walking fool and is not afraid to show it.
Obama started his campaign promise to limit lobbyists access to government. He announced government employees leaving their positions could not lobby the department they left for two years. That was apparently a bit much for I dont know what in the fuck I am doing Harry. This week he explained his door will remain wide open for all lobbyists.
And theres nothing wrong with that, said Reid. And Obama will be meeting with them too. When asked to clarify his remarks, given Obamas promises to change that part of Capitol culture, Reid responded that lobbyists are part and parcel of the job.
He must have missed that year long campaign thingy.
People should understand that lobbyists, per se, are someones father, mother, son, daughter, said Reid. They work for a living."
Aw. Da poor wittle wobbyists. I so feel for them and their buying of the government. They work so very hard. What the fuck are you thinking?
The Democratic leaders sons and a son-in-law have worked as lobbyists.
Shocking. But, hey, at least his kids arent rapists, or this might be really awkward. Harry needs to go.
Next up, some I didnt learn from recent history Asshole Fuckfacery.
Remember when the record industry went after kids who downloaded songs? Remember how that was a total failure and caused a massive backlash amongst kids who purchase music? Remember how the record industry put up the white flag and surrendered on the lawsuits? That seems like so many couple of years months days ago.
Now the movie industry has decided to do the same thing, but with a dash of worse thrown in. RealDVD is a relatively new product that lets people save the DVDs they own to their computers. The DVD will only play on your computer.
The DVDs that you save will play only on your computer with the License Key purchased, it does not break the encryption code on the DVD, and you cannot burn disks from the DVD upload that you make.
So, you own it, which means you can play it the devices you want, right? The program does not harm the movie industry because users still have to buy the DVD and cant rip them. If you think about it, its exactly the type of technology the movie industry should embrace, right? Nope.
In September 2008, the motion picture industry sued RealNetworks over its RealDVD software, which was designed to allow consumers to copy their DVDs to their computers for later playback. Real had obtained a license from DVD-CCA for its software, apparently relying on earlier court rulings in the DVD-CCA v. Kaleidescape case, where a California state court ruled that Kaleidescape's licensed digital DVD jukebox was within the scope of the DVD-CCA license.
Welcome to Epic Fail 2, Electric Boogaloo.
FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.
Asshole Fuckface Roundup #78
Well, here we are again. It is a new year and there are still Asshole Fuckfaces running around, doing horrible things to good people. I will continue to seek them out and drag them into the light for you to mock. It’s my job. I get paid in puppies. So, let’s kick off the New Year with some truly horrible Asshole Fuckfaces. Put on your best rubber tuxedo because this is going to be ugly.
First up, a little Democratic Asshole Fuckfacery.
Ah, Harry Reid –– maybe the best Republican in Congress. He’s an utterly useless piece of shit. This week pro-life Harry announced he would bar newly appointed Illinois Senator Roland Burris from the Senate –– with armed guards if necessary. See, Burris can’t be allowed to dirty the floor of the Senate because Asshole Fuckface extraordinaire Rod Blagojevich appointed him. Yes, Harry Reid has finally drawn a line in the sand.
He didn’t do it when Karl Rove and Harriet Miers refused to honor subpoenas. He didn’t do it when Bush nominated the insane right wing lunatic Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. Warrantless wiretapping? No can do. Joe Lieberman turning a blind eye to Bush corruption as the Chairman of the Homeland Security Committee? Whatevs. Give Ted Stevens a standing ovation after he was convicted of 7 felonies? Hell yes.
Maybe before Reid draws this tough guy line, he should actually check with some law peeps to find out whether denying Burris is even legal. Many say it is not. Either way, Harry Reid wouldn’t know which battle to pick if one was raping his wife and another was making him a pie.
And there was more Burris appointment Asshole Fuckfacery.
It came immediately from Illinois Representative Bobby Rush. According to Bobby, Burris should be allowed to take the seat –– because he’s black.
"My prayers have been answered, because I prayed fervidly that the governor would . . . appoint an African American," said Rush, whose son is a former Blagojevich administration employee. "We need to have not just one African American in the U.S. Senate. We need to have many African Americans in the U.S. Senate."
Well, yeah. Let’s just fill that seat based on skin color. That’s an awesome way to run things.
Illinois Rep. Bobby Rush said that those upset about Rod Blagojevich¹s audacious U.S. Senate appointment “need to take a chill pill.”
Fuck yeah. Chill your shit out. Burris is black. How do you not get that? Please ignore the constant losing of elections he's been doing over the years and his advanced age. He's perfect.
“I would ask you not to hang or lynch the appointee as you try to castigate the appointer.”
Well, hello colorful and unnecessary language. But, yes, let’s not “lynch” the black guy. And let’s not forget what Rush had to say before Blago picked a black guy.
"Like the people of the great state of Illinois, I was shocked and angered by the disturbing news, this morning, that Governor Blagojevich had been arrested for what federal prosecutors describe as "a political corruption crime spree."
"I believe that the acts that are alleged to have been committed by the Governor are so heinous that he has forfeited his right to appoint someone to fill the seat of President-Elect Barack Obama. My bottom line is that the Governor should not be the one to make the appointment to this important office.
“Heinous.” Then suddenly, not heinous. Hey, what changed?
It’s really hard to chose who is worse in this situation, Reid or Rush. It’s like Burris is caught up in an Asshole Fuckface sandwich.
Next up, an Asshole Fuckface with a bottle.
The Democrats are chalk full of win this week. Incoming New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate is fresh off an election victory and looking forward to serving the good people of New York. Dude is a former Marine and served 12 years in the NYPD before getting a psychological disability pension. Uh oh.
But wait! He’s all good because he got rid of his Thetans! Yes, Monserrate is a scientologist.
A Queens legislator - who insists a controversial detoxification program he's promoting in lower Manhattan isn't a front for Scientology - attended a celebrity-studded Los Angeles gala sponsored by the Church of Scientology.
Monserrate had earlier sponsored a council proclamation honoring L. Ron Hubbard, who founded Scientology.
So, he’s a Scientologist, and an ex-Marine and was a cop for 12 years. Totally normal. As is trying to remove your girlfriend’s face with a broken bottle.
State Sen.-elect Hiram Monserrate flew into a volcanic rage and attacked his girlfriend after seeing another man's business card in her purse, sources told The Post yesterday.
The law-enforcement sources also believe that the jealous Monserrate was so angry that he deliberately broke a glass into jagged pieces so he could slash Karla Giraldo, who required 20 stitches around her left eye following the alleged domestic-violence assault.
Sources said her wound is consistent with a jagged piece of glass tearing into her skin.
Oh, man. You are totally not clear. You should head back down to the Scientology center to get rid of your Asshole Fuckfaceness.
Oh, and it was an "accident."
And finally, big, fat, sloppy Israeli Asshole Fuckfacing.
Well, the spectacular fail of the continuing Israeli attack on Gaza is truly something to watch. Nothing like seeing pictures of bloody, dead children to bring the world around to your side.
Yes, I know, Hamas has been shooting rockets they can’t aim at Israel and it is a fucked up situation. But the response isn’t exactly showing the world that Israel is better. Right now, Israel looks like a bigger, better-armed terrorist organization.
Let me see if I can get this straight: Hamas would kill any Israeli if they could, whether that Jew is a mother, father or child. So, an attack on Gaza is a good move, because now people all over the world are watching Israel kill mothers, fathers and children. And hey, that should really bring the Palestinians around. No, I totally get it. Hamas has said they will kill innocents, so you have to kill innocents to stop the killing of innocents. Look, I totally get it. It’s obviously a fool proof plan. I don’t know what could go wrong.
This should totally wrap everything up. Now Israeli’s can justify their attack because of Hamas’ intentions and Hamas supporters can justify their hatred because of the dead children and women. It’s a win win!
But let’s not forget the true fault lies with George Bush and Condoleezza Rice. They are the ones who pushed for elections in Palestine that put Hamas in control of Gaza. This is more George Bush Asshole Fuckfacery.
President Bush, Condoleezza Rice, and Deputy National-Security Adviser Elliott Abrams backed an armed force under Fatah strongman Muhammad Dahlan, touching off a bloody civil war in Gaza and leaving Hamas stronger than ever.
How surprising.
And good luck to Israel in their attempt to create more terrorists. It seems to be going well so far.
FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.
Dear Democrats, Your Congressional Leaders Suck Balls
A couple of days ago I wrote an amazing article about Nancy Pelosi being unworthy of her position as Speaker of the House. Today I will address why Harry Reid is an incompetent, spineless piece of shit who is unworthy of his position as Senate Majority Leader. Grow some balls Dems and kick spineless grandpa to the curb.
On Monday, the Nevada moron will bring a new FISA bill to the floor of the Senate that will help the Bush administration get the telecom industry immunity and surveillance oversight protections. At the same time he will be taking an action that he assured concerned Democrats that he would not take. Nice work, liar.
Harry could have brought two bills to the floor. One did not give the telecom companies a free pass for illegally spying on Americans. The other, written by Jay I got millions from the telecoms Rockefeller (horrible nickname) and Dick Cheney (horrible monster), gives the companies immunity from civil lawsuits for committing CRIMES.
Reid has pulled a fast one by making the Senate Intelligence Committee bill the "base bill." That means to remove amnesty and increase oversight would require 60 votes, which is impossible. Reid has been telling people for weeks that he would not bring the bill to the floor as a base bill. Every Democratic presidential candidate and 14 Senators have demanded that the other bill be the base bill. He is a fucking liar and no better than the Bush administration for pulling such a move.
But that is not even the most disgusting aspect of this move. Reid is screwing over Chris Dodd, who put a hold on the amnesty bill. He is refusing to honor that hold. Understand that Reid honors holds for Republicans constantly, like the Emmit Till Bill, which would authorize $10-million annually over 10 years to rejuvenate prosecutions of pre-1970 civil rights murders.
Now, that bill is not important enough to override a hold. But giving the telecoms immunity from their crimes is very important.
Dodd was forced to fly back to DC on Friday to filibuster. You may be wondering why, because I just wrote that the vote would take place on Monday. Well, Harry the devious made sure the filibuster would take place over the weekend with slimy schedule maneuvers. So, Dodd will filibuster in front of an empty chamber, when reporters are gone and other Senators are enjoying their weekend. Then when the Senate returns on Monday, Harry will push for a cloture vote. This is absolutely disgusting behavior from a Democratic leader.
Understand this Democrats: Your leadership is doing everything it can to give Bush and Cheney the FISA bill they want. It gives the telecoms total immunity for criminal acts and limits oversight on an illegal program. The Democrats are putting their energy into making sure their opponents win and The Constitution is used like toilet paper.
And for those tools out there, who think this is about keeping America safer, you are shockingly naïve.
To detect narcotics trafficking, for example, the government has been collecting the phone records of thousands of Americans and others inside the United States who call people in Latin America
Wow, what a surprise. The Bush administration was abusing their already abusive system. How completely in character of them.
In a separate N.S.A. project, executives at a Denver phone carrier, Qwest, refused in early 2001 to give the agency access to their most localized communications switches, which primarily carry domestic calls, according to people aware of the request, which has not been previously reported. They say the arrangement could have permitted neighborhood-by-neighborhood surveillance of phone traffic without a court order, which alarmed them.
Early 2001. When was 9/11 again? Why should I believe this program was not used against political opponents? Why should companies who aided this blatantly illegal program be spared from lawsuits? But most importantly, why the fuck is the Democratic Senate Majority Leader giving aid to people who have undermined The Constitution?
What is it about November 2006 that you did not understand, Harry? The American people quite simply handed the Democrats a stunning victory so they would curb the abuses by Bush and company. You have taken that mandate and turned it into a pile of shame. Please explain to me how those on the opposite side of the aisle would be doing this in any way differently. They would not. You are a coward and possibly the most useless Majority Leader I have ever seen. Your hideous acts demoralize your base and drive people from your party. In essence, Harry, you are the Democratic Karl Rove. You and your kind are why I am not and never will be a Democrat. Although, there is a guy who would make a great Senate Majority Leader. He's the guy who is filibustering this bill: Chris Dodd. You can send Chris Dodd a bit of support here.
And feel free to call or email your Senator Democrats and let them know where you stand on the Majority Leaders actions.
Reid Keeps Doors Open Because Bush Is A Dick
George Bush has proven over and over that he is going to do whatever the fuck he wants. One of the most glaring examples is his many recess appointments which he has greatly perfected over the years, allowing legions of unqualified morons to fill important positions in our government. His first big recess appointment was John Bolton in August 2005 to the position of ambassador to the United Nations. Bolton, of course, turned out to be the shitty ambassador that anyone with a brain knew he would be.
So, this Thanksgiving holiday Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is going to keep the Senate in session to stop Bush from making any recess appointments.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has decided to keep the chamber in session over the Thanksgiving break to block President Bush from making any unsavory recess appointments while Senators are out of town.
Reid will keep the Senate in session by scheduling nonvoting sessions, which means some poor bastard is going to have to show up over the break. Reid explained that Bush refuses to bargain and just waits for a recess to make appointments. Bush also refuses to consider Democratic picks for several appointments.
With the Thanksgiving break looming, the administration informed me that they would make several recess appointments, Reid said. I indicated I would be willing to confirm various appointments if the administration would agree to move on Democratic appointments.
They would not make that commitment.
The most disturbing pick who wasnt gotten past the Senate is James Holsinger for surgeon general. Holsinger spent years in Kentucky trying to fix gay people and Bush wants to reward his creepy beliefs by making him the leading spokesmen for the government of matters of public health.
We see that as an issue not of orientation but of lifestyle. We have people who seek to walk out of that lifestyle.
Yeah, we should probably stop that guy, considering he lives in the year 1800. Bush let Reid know he would be appointing some nominees that the Democrats called, Unacceptable.
They did float a number of recess appointments. Some of them were very problematic.
So, this is what we have come to. The US has a president who just doesnt want to play like an adult and the opposition party has to go to ridiculous lengths to stop him from doing whatever he wants. But there is one more thing that could happen here: What if Bush claims he is appointing them anyway? It would fit right in with his abuse of power pattern and I would not put it past him. Could be kind of fun, in a What the fuck is happening? kind of way.
Democrats Might Slap The Shit Out Of Bushs Wrist
George W. Bush must be a very scared man today because the Democrats are thinking about officially calling him a bad man. Senator Russ Feingold says he will offer two censure resolutions for Bushs handling of the Iraq war and his assault on the Constitution. I think we can safely assume Bush is curled up in a corner right now, crying and mumbling, Why?, over and over.
Censure may be the most useless thing the Senate can do.
Censure is a procedure for publicly reprimanding a public official for inappropriate behavior. When the President is censured, it serves merely as a condemnation and has no direct effect on the validity of presidency, nor are there any other particular legal consequences.
Pretty scary, huh? To date, Andrew Jackson is the only president to have ever been censured. It occurred on March 28, 1834 and to this day it haunts his legacy. The first thing Americans think of when his name is mentioned is, Oh, he was a bad boy. Of course, in 1937 control of Congress switched parties and Jackson's censure was reversed. It's a powerful tool, yield it with caution!
One censure resolution would scold Bush for going to war without adequate military preparation and issuing misleading statements. (Im actually not sure when Bush has issued a statement we can trust) The other censure resolution would chastise Bush for all of the illegal acts he has committed, like disregarding the Geneva Conventions by torturing prisoners of war, using signing statements to override congressional lawmaking authority, eavesdropping on Americans without court warrants, refusing to comply with Congressional subpoenas, ordering ex-employees to not comply with Congressional subpoenas, firing federal prosecutors for political reasons, infusing media with government propaganda, placing "gatekeepers" in all federal agencies who report directly to the White House, arresting peaceful protestors and manipulating the terror alert system to instill fear in Americans.
"This is an opportunity for people to say, let's at least reflect on the record that something terrible has happened here," said Feingold. "This administration has weakened America in a way that is frightful."
Too bad there isnt anything else in the constitution that deals with what to do when the president breaks the law and misleads the country into going to war. It would be really great if there were.
Feingold wanted to censure Bush back in 2006, but only three of his fellow Democrats were on board with the idea. It is doubtful he will find anyone to agree with him this time, either. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has already said he doesnt like the idea.
Reid said he would not go along with them and said the Senate needs to focus on finishing spending bills on defense and homeland security.
"We have a lot of work to do," Reid said. "The president already has the mark of the American people he's the worst president we ever had. I don't think we need a censure resolution in the Senate to prove that."
Give em hell, Harry! Actually, Harry, low approval ratings are not a punishment. They actually give you a mandate to go after the fucker with every weapon you have. People dislike him more than his father, which is really saying something. He should have been censured a long time ago and Congress should now be looking at more severe punishments. Like impeachment.
Would impeachment succeed? Probably not. But thats not why its in the Constitution. It is the duty of Congress to impeach a president when he is acting so far outside the law. But the Democrats are a ball less crew of chickenshits. The Republicans went after Clinton when it was obvious he would not be removed from office. Why? They believed he had broken the law. Did they suffer during the next election? No, they ended up controlling all branches of government even though the majority of Americans disagreed with their decision.
But here are the Democrats, taking no action against the most unpopular president since Nixon. Losing control of Congress is what the Democrats fear and so, they do nothing. Their lack of action against Bush is purely for political reasons. The man is a reckless, lying, religious nut. Impeachment was created for Bush. Too bad Democrats work from a position of fear and not strength.
Harry Reid, Pop Culture Barometer
Im not sure if this really portends anything at all about the immediate future of America, but the new leader of the now-Democratic Senate, Nevadas Harry Reid, has some thoughts about Britney Spears. The following bomb was dropped two paragraphs into a New York Times profile on the 66-year-old Mormon politician:
"He spent most of the momentous day in his Senate office, waiting. Just after 2 p.m., he finally heard some actual news: Britney Spears was filing for divorce. 'Britney Spears,' Mr. Reid said, shaking his head. 'She loses a little weight, and now shes getting all cocky about things.' He added, 'Britney has gotten her mojo back.
This is truly an exciting time for America. Maybe Nancy Pelosi can weigh in on whether or not Justin Timberlake is truthfully bringing sexy back, as he claims.