The Ann Arbor Film Festival Report Part Two: In last week’s Footage Fetishes column entitled Michigan Uncensored, I told you about the Ann Arbor Film Festival and their battle over restrictions related to funding from the state which led to a lawsuit filed by the festival and headed up by the ACLU. Several films screened in recent years at the Ann Arbor Fest had been labeled “pornographic” by a local watchdog group named MCACA (Michigan Council for the Arts and Cultural Affairs). But, what about the movies? What’s the deal with these “banned” films?



The festival did the smart thing and embraced their renegade status by selling t-shirts with the loveable Boobie Girl as well as creating their own brand of “censorship.” Well, this censorship was on that you could eat in the form of a chocolate bar. In addition, they offered for sale a collection of shorts in a limited edition DVD titled Banned in Michigan featuring many of the films named by this watchdog group as being “pornographic.” Nothing could be further from the truth – edgy, yes, but porn, absolutely not. In fact, the films screened at Ann Arbor tend to fall under the category of experimental work which are usually non-narrative, weird, sometimes incoherent and often bizarre, but always pushing the envelope when it comes to the medium itself. Personally, the kind of films I like.

All the proceeds from the sales of these items will benefit the fest, but rather than dwell on that, here’s a round up of the best--


Filmmakers Armen Evrensel, Bryan Boyce and Sarah J. Christman enjoy local brew from mason jar's at one of the festival parties.

Chests
Dolores Wilbur’s two minute short contains close-ups of two doughy male chests mashing against each other. That’s all. For two minutes. Oddly, not erotic in the least but her intention was to feature harmless aggression with undertones of sexual tension. Mission accomplished.

Soggy Penis Syndrome
The title says it all – this is a montage of grainy video of limp penises. Rosy Boyer inter-cuts this with a woman seemingly taunting the boys.

The Arousing Adventures of Sailor Boy
This cut-up film by Jenny Bisch, contains images of a young sailor on an innocent walk while the film is scratched, cut, colored with ink and otherwise defiled. The title may be provocative, but this is experimental work dealing with the form of the celluloid itself.

U
Yuri A. has created perhaps the ultimate collection of fecal imagery as his film both begins and ends with farts. In between, we are treated to a cornucopia of poop in all forms of color and consistencies. Recommended viewing if you ever needed to quickly clear out a roomful of people – this is better than yelling “Fire!”

Five F**king Fables
Signe Baumane’s seven-minute series of mini-animated stories, highlights some impossible sex acts that could only be imagined, and therefore, illustrated in cartoon fashion. You’ll witness a man getting head from a garden of flowers, a man using a straw on a woman’s vagina, a headless princess giving head, cute faeries committing suicide all rendered in loveable colored-pencil animation. It’s violently terrific.


A collage of images from Signe Baumane's Five F**king Fables.

Sharony!
Two young girls birth a doll found in their backyard from a strange amber egg. The li’l “thing” is cute and oddly contrasted with the video footage of two cute kids. Disturbing.

Pleasureland
Bryan Poyser’s powerful black & white 17-minute short contains a deeply disturbing story. We witness a man obsessed with renting porn from the video store. Upon renting one such title, a real-live and totally nude woman appears in his living room in front of him! She’s ready for action, yet tethered to the VCR by an RF cable. Once said “video” is complete, the woman is no longer there… all that remains is a pool of dark liquid that is impossible to get out of the carpet. And worse, the video is no longer in the VCR! Unable to return the video, his credit card rings up a mountain of late fees and he must pay for the missing tape. Our well-hung lead is quickly unconcerned about his credit card debt as his obsession mounts to the point where he’s having full-on orgies in his living room with all combinations one might imagine – girl-boy-girl-boy-boy, and so on. His sex addiction climaxes in a finale I won’t spoil for you. Pleasureland is weird, smart, funny and makes the best Asian horror films look tame by comparison. Seek this one out as you won’t be disappointed.


Sharony! (left) features a bizarre doll birthing; Pleasureland is the story of one man's addiction to a certain section of the video store.

With Me
A woman in her underwear lounges in bed and is unfazed when a ghostly image of herself appears next to her. What?! She takes this as an opportunity to, literally, go fuck herself. Clearly Austrian filmmaker Kersten Cmelka combined two separately shot scenes, yet the timing of the actions of, well, both women, is perfect.

No American Dream
A race through New York becomes a search for a at least one good fuck.

America’s Biggest Dick
Bryan Boyce’s hysterical mash-up takes not just the audio, but the lips from Al Pacino in Scarface and places them on Dick Fucking Cheney, as he’s identified in the video. The footage of Cheney from the Republican convention becomes pee-your-pants funny during Pacino’s rants about “America” and especially when the classic, “Say hello to my little friend” is uttered. Brilliantly funny.


Bryan Boyce's America's Biggest Dick is a mash-up featuring Dick Cheney.

Gore gone.

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and is a proud member of the Michigan Mafia.

The Ann Arbor Film Festival Report Part One: Ann Arbor, Michigan is a liberal oasis in the Midwest. In fact, if one is caught smoking pot, the user will be hit with a hefty $25 fine for inhaling. For less than the cost of a parking ticket, you can do like the dude and abide. While the city is perhaps best known for being home to the University of Michigan, it feels more like San Francisco than a college town. Ann Arbor also happens to be the destination for one of the greatest festivals in the world dedicated to screening experimental work. Unfortunately, the prestigious 45 year history of the Ann Arbor Film Festival did nothing to dissuade local officials from labeling a handful of movies screened in recent years as being “pornography.”


The Ann Arbor Film Festival has a rich history of championing experimental films from all over the world.


Festival attendees were encouraged to participate by using their artistic skills on this reel of 16mm clear leader. The film made with full audience participation was screened on the last night. Apparently, someone drew penises on several feet of film, but it wasn't me.

Faced with having their much-needed funding pulled by the state, the festival chose not to accept the money as the definition of a "sex act" was so vague. In an interview with Hour Detroit magazine, festival executive director Christen McArdle said, "There are three guidelines that artists have to follow in order to get funding from the state: 1) no human waste on religious symbols, 2) no desecration of the flag, and 3) no depictions of sex acts. The Michigan Council for the Arts and Cultural Affairs said that we violated the guideline 'no depiction of sex acts.' This is a very vague guideline with a very vague definition. I asked the officials to describe to me what that means, 'What's a sex act? What are my parameters? Does a long kiss count as a sex act?' A kiss can be very sexy."


Festival executive director Christen McArdle and publicist Kristin Darga worked triple time during the festivities.

Being at the center of a controversy is not such a bad thing if you’re screening experimental films in Michigan. The attention garnered from this issue has led to packed houses at screenings this year. And support from locals, as well as a grant from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences (they give away those gold statues every year called the Oscar), helped the festival make up the lost funding. Buoyed by the attention, the festival now has a new mission. Along with help from the ACLU, the Ann Arbor Film Festival has filed a federal lawsuit. On March 20th, to the sound of applause and cheers from festival attendees, an announcement was made on opening night - the Ann Arbor Film Festival would fight back. A press release sent to the media that night read:

You can read the entire ACLU complaint here.


Animation professor Brooke Keesling's entertaining short Boobie Girl was accused of being "pornographic."

For those of you who have never seen Boobie Girl, it's a charming animated short about a li'l girl who wishes for large breasts. When her wish comes true, she finds that life is not so easy with her newfound knockers. The film is played so innocently, that children could view it and find plenty of giggles. If this movie is porn, well, it's not very good porn. It's clear that the officials from the MCACA had never actually seen any of these movies and were merely skimming the titles in an effort to target certain films as "pornographic."


I swear, I was only reaching for some tasty popcorn. In Michigan, some might call this accidental boob graze a "sex act."

Some might brush off the festival's battle as a fruitless exercise. But that attitude diminishes the importance of the issue of funding for the arts. Other countries such as Canada, France, the U.K. and many more, support their filmmakers to the tune of tens of millions because they realize that movies made without regard for boxoffice speak to the national identities of their respective countries. Whereas, in the United States, our national identity is defined by movies released worldwide by Hollywood. These filmmakers supported by grants from our tax dollars are not burdened by the need for commercial success and/or mainstream acceptance. These artists can take the time to ask the tough questions about who we are as a culture. Setting aside funding that supports filmmakers who are allowed to exercise the freedom to express themselves only seems natural in a country that spends trillions on a military that shoves those values down the world's throat.

If we don't support a filmmaker's right to freedom of expression, we betray the values upon which the United States was built. (Unfortunately, our representatives in Washington seem to be doing a lot of that lately.) More than ever, preserving artists' rights is an issue that deserves attention and support.

And if the representative of this cause must be a cute li'l cartoon stick figure with tremendous ta-tas, then so be it.

Part Two of my Ann Arbor Film Festival coverage will take a look at all ten of the films deemed pornographic including America's Biggest Dick, Boobie Girl and Soggy Penis Syndrome. Until then...

...Gore gone.

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and is a proud member of the Michigan Mafia.

(Part three in a series of reports from the 2007 Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.)

Statistically speaking, it’s another banner year for Sundance. More movies were picked up by distributors for more money than ever before. The independent films that will dominate media attention in 2007 and be seen at festivals and in theaters premiered daily to audiences hungry for the next big thing. Statistically speaking for me, it was a struggle –three screenings a day, five or more parties, averaging four hours a sleep a night, while living on four zone bars and one decent meal at a restaurant a day, it was a struggle in a race to see the best of the best. But all I had to do was watch movies. For my first two days, I was bound to serve my TV masters at G4 covering the fest. (There's video on the G4 web site, if you care to check it out.) When I was finally cut loose from my obligations, going to a screening was like gulping water after trudging through the desert. Seeing films at Sundance is nothing short of inspiring.


The "peace sign" photo on my press badge failed to inspire others to do the same as rampant apathy took hold as the trendiest attitude to adopt.

THE SUNDANCE SCENE
The best way to describe the scene at Sundance is crowded. Merely stopping for a moment to chat with a pal on Main Street will cause a pedestrian traffic jam as the streets are clogged with film freaks getting to screenings, locals seeking celebrities (I personally spotted Joey Pantoliano, Wes Bentley and Gary Coleman) and partiers without a name on the list just looking for a way in. If you can get past the air of craziness resulting from the vibe that everyone is trying to get somewhere very important and, they themselves are all, very important, it all comes down to the movies. As a reaction to growing media attention on celebrities and parties and sponsors and goodie bags and everything but the films, Robert Redford began this year’s Sundance festivities at a press conference in which he announced a new motto: Focus on Film. These words could be seen on all the marketing materials for the fest as well as free buttons readily available anywhere and I’m sure can now be found for sale on eBay.


The tiny mountain town of Park City, Utah was never meant to accommodate the more than 20,000 people who trek from all parts of the world to celebrate film. Posters and flyers litter officially designated posting areas and signage is everywhere.

It was odd this year to see so many give-aways everywhere. I’m used to buying a case of water or two to combat altitude sickness, but I shouldn’t have bothered since water of every brand were handed out on the streets and nearly everywhere. And not just water, everything from energy bars to scarves to energy drinks to ski caps were practically tossed at passersby who were not even looking for a freebie. The most amusing was a ski cap promoting a new, more efficient replacement for Botox called “StriVectin-SD.” Would you wear a hat with that on it? Um, I wouldn’t.


Parties on Main Street were a bust because of the invasion of non-film folks. The MySpace party was a disaster partly due to the incompetence of the doormen, but also because the Eagles of Death Metal were no-shows.

The nightlife in Park City is odd. It is dominated by the dedicated hipsters driven to get into the most exclusive parties. One good friend commented to me that they should have “asshole police” to deal with some of these obnoxious folks. I simply found them entertaining. The most amusing aspect is the lengths to which many women will go to impress. It was common to see women in sandals, high heels, open-toed shoes – all worn in sub-freezing temperatures which lingered in the single digits the entire first weekend. Really? How much alcohol does it take until one is unable to feel their toes? I’d like to know.


The Film Threat crew in Park City wore original hats designed by SG girl Noir - this pink delight modeled by FT writer Sally Foster. Standing out from the crowd is both useful and fashionable.

If you can get past all of these distractions, the real purpose of the festival will emerge. Films. And not just any independent films, movies that move you. Each time I attend the festival having seen inspiring work made by deeply passionate filmmakers, there’s a feeling that anyone can be a part of this community of like-minded artists. Sundance recharges my own creative batteries after a grueling year of mainstream factory films from Hollywood. This year was no different as I experienced an amazing array of original work by some familiar and emerging filmmakers.

SUNDANCE FILMS
Some were saying that this was an off-year for Sundance as there was no consensus regarding standout films. What stood out to me was the number of quality movies. Here's just a taste...


The fast-paced doc Chasing Ghosts took audiences back to an era in the early 80s when the arcade ruled the world.

Chasing Ghosts
As a portrait of a period in time circa 1982 when the arcade ruled the world, Chasing Ghosts delivers more than what is promised. Retro gaming is as hot as ever, and this glimpse into the world of the very first hardcore gamers, the guys who dropped quarters and went pro, is as hilarious as it oozes a fondness for 80s nostalgia. From the music to the fast-moving graphics, the style that filmmaker Lincoln Ruchti uses to tell this tale starts at full speed and never lets up. Y’know, kind of like a video game.

The focus of the film is a group of gamers who achieved the highest scores and went pro. Assembled in Ottumwa, Iowa in 1982 near the Twin Galaxies arcade for the historic photo-shoot for Time magazine that made them all famous, we meet them today, more than 20 years later for a reality check. It’s no surprise to learn that this oddball group that began as geeks all remained geeks. Each of them come equipped with their own quirks and various levels of nerdiness and that is where the film succeeds best - as a portrait of not just a time, but of a group of geeks worthy of celebration.


Grace is Gone reveals a whole new side to John Cusack.

Grace is Gone
John Cusack is very different from the romantic lead we are used to seeing in films like High Fidelity. In Grace is Gone, he plays a dad worn down by life as the manager of a home store. His wife Grace has gone to fight the war in Iraq and he is left to father his two daughters. The eight and twelve year-old are told they can’t even watch TV as it might add to their already anxious lives. When Cusack receives the news that Grace is dead, he becomes catatonic. It’s already difficult enough to “talk” to his daughters, much less tell them that their mother is dead. This leads to a road trip to Enchanted Gardens in Florida as dad avoids telling his daughters the truth. It’s the best performance of Cusack’s career as he dresses and even walks funny to accentuate his schlumpiness. Screenings of the film elicited more tears than any film I have ever seen at Sundance.


The Signal is now the must-see horror film for 2007 and was picked up for distribution after its very first midnight screening.

The Signal
Rejecting the current trend of "torture porn horror" and going straight for "intelligent and gory" is The Signal. The premise is simple: All electronic devices in the town of Terminus suddenly do not work as they begin to emit an irritating, yet hypnotic signal. At first, it seems like a glitch, until overexposure to this signal drives one into a murderous rampage. Traditionally, horror films like to ease you in and do things like "get to know the characters" so that you "care" about them. You won't find that coming from the three-headed Atlanta-based co-directors of The Signal David Bruckner, Jacob Gentry and Dan Bush. These boys begin the movie with a bloody kick in the nose and never stop smacking. It truly is a horror film made by horror fans. What's also interesting is the approach they took as a trio of co-directors - the film was broken up into three acts and each one of them took on one act. The film still feels as if there is one voice, yet each act has its own tone that fits the whole. Act one is creepy and suspenseful, act two delves into the bloody and comedic and act three is shocking, gory and triumphant as the final act messes with your head. Upon leaving the screening, I was both elated and awestruck as I found I needed time to "come down" from this relentless movie. There is no doubt that The Signal will be among the best horror films of 2007 when it debuts later this year.


The "bestiality" documentary Zoo was highly anticipated due to the racy subject matter -- fucking horses. However, the artful recreations of taboo sex simply bored audiences.

Zoo
No film had more buzz going into Sundance than Zoo. And no film's buzz disipated faster than Zoo. The description in the program guide seemed to promise full-on bestiality. A man is dropped at a local hospital - his death the result of the rupturing of his internal organs. It is later discovered this was caused by having sex with a horse. The family wants answers and though, we the audience never see it, the loved ones are treated to a showing of the video of this sex act because they have to see for themselves how it happened. The sanitized recreations are simply dull as the filmmaker attempts to create some type of understanding for why anyone would want to stick a horse's cock in their ass. The answer is about "getting closer to nature" or something but ultimately, there is no answer. It's unfortunate as Zoo could have been something truly controversal but ends up being a dull disappointment.


Co-directors Crispin Glover and David Brothers pose in front of the poster for their film It is Fine. Everything is Fine!

It is Fine. Everything is Fine!
The second in Crispin Glover’s planned art film trilogy began with What is It? and continues in It is Fine. Everything is Fine! The film is written by and stars the charming and cerebral palsy afflicted Steven C. Stewart, a man who will not allow his handicap to stop him. The story involves Stewart who is a ladies man, seducing young women, getting them naked, then getting them in bed, then getting them into a chokehold to kill them in an almost comedic fashion. It’s hard to feel sorry for a handicap serial killer, but Steven is just too likeable as he grunts his way through his lines. He’s impossible to actually understand, yet, in the context of each scene, we know what he’s saying. It’s like a John Waters film from the 1970s, as Glover and Brothers force you to see this crippled person as a suave leading man. To say the film is weird would be cliché, it’s way beyond that the film drew laughs and gasps from the audience. The odd thing about it all – it works. It’s actually refreshing to see someone who actually has cerebral palsy in a film rather than some actor playing someone with cerebral palsy, y’know, like Daniel Day Lewis. It wasn’t long ago that Hollywood would dress up Caucasian actors to play Asians or other races in movies (John Wayne, Marlon Brando, Mickey Rooney). Perhaps some will get the idea that the handicap have a right to play themselves on screen. Even when it is a “turn-off” to general audiences who need to be challenged.

The climax features Stewart in a hardcore sex scene as he receives a blow job leading to a close up of full penis-vagina penetration. The tight shots of the actual act do not linger, so one could hardly call it porn, but it is rather jarring. Glover and Brothers felt it was important to see that Stewart actually had sex and that this wasn’t some sanitized Hollywood love scene with bits of nudity. Crispin Glover plans to tour festivals with the film combining screenings with a live performance starring himself. An experience not to be missed.

SLAMDANCE FILMS
The SlamDance Film Festival took place at the always friendly Treasure Mountain Inn. Their motto By filmmakers, for filmmakers, was ever present in all the films. Ultimately, it's a fest without the big business trappings featuring movies with a DIY-vibe and a punk rock spirit. There were a lot of great movies, but two films deserving of attention include...


Grace Lee's American Zombie uses this horror genre staple as a way to address issues of immigration and equality in Los Angeles. Lee also had perhaps the most inventive promotional item -- this soft cell phone cleaner.


American Fork creates a humorous and thoughtful character portrait of a man whose life revolves around food.

Until the next fest, Gore is gone. Way gone.

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker and the creator of Film Threat. Chris’ book, The Ultimate Film Festival Survival Guide, is the bible for filmmakers touring on the festival circuit and a 4th edition will be published in 2008.

(Part two in a series of reports from the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.)

By the time you read this, I'll be freezing my ass off. The weather here in Park City, Utah is in the single digits at night and when I breathe deeply, my nostrils feel as if they are growing icicles. It's that cold. Thankfully, most of the activities involve staying indoors and viewing movies. I'll make an effort to see as many films as possible, but the parties seem to take priority during the festival.


The Dude, yeah, that Dude, is the man to hang with in Park City every year.

Last year, Paris Hilton's appearance, well, anywhere, seemed to overshadow any of the films. It's amusing to note that someone on Craig's List was selling a Sundance Party List for $50. Trust me, it doesn't compare to my personal party spreadsheet that includes every party with locations, phone numbers, publicist contacts and sponsors all color-coded for easy viewing. But no matter how great the party is, they're all serving Utah-3.2 beer and, frankly, I'd rather be in a dark theater experiencing something new. While I have not seen anything yet, there are plenty of films I plan to catch during the fest. Here's a round-up of the movies at Sundance that I'm really looking forward to seeing. (NOTE: These movies may or may not be considered "hot" or films receiving a lot of "buzz," these are merely films that grabbed my attention and I can tell you from experience that my taste tends to run outside the norm.)

Away From Her
Directed by plucky Canadian actress Sarah Polley (remember her from the Dawn of the Dead remake?), this film is her feature directorial debut. Her short I Shout Love, which screened at the 2002 fest, was an incredibly well-written and acted 30-minute film and I expect her feature to be a compelling ride.


Chasing Ghosts
This documentary by Lincoln Ruchti explores the world of video games as we meet the participants from the first nationally televised Video Game World Championships from 1982 as they recount their pixellated memories.

White Light/Black Rain
(It's important to note that the documentaries are the films are often the best and they're important to catch since you may not have a chance to see them again.) This doc reveals the victims of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs in never-before-seen footage.

Interview
Directed by and starring actor Steve Buscemi, this film explores the price of fame through the hottest young actress in Hollywood Katja. Steve's movie is fiction, but this may as well be the Lindsay Lohan story.

Fido
Zombies try to fit into an idyllic 1950s society. Anything with zombies promises to be fun.


It is fine! EVERYTHING IS FINE.
Crispin Hellion Glover's second movie in his planned trilogy began with What is it? and continues with fine! Early indications are that this is weird and incredibly disturbing.

The Signal
An odd signal is transmitted from mobile phones, televions and all media devices in the city of Terminus, leading to murder and madness within the psyches of its inhabitants. And that's just the beginning of this horror film...

As yet, I still have not seen a single movie, but the "Buzz" films arte not only playing at Sundance, but some of the other alt festivals in town, namely Slamdance.


The Slamdance Film Festival is well established having been around for over a decade. Yet they have maintained their anti-establishment status by embracing filmmakers like these.


American Fork

Slamdance movies I plan to see, well, try to see (the screening room is small and tickets can be hard to come by) include: American Fork and American Zombie. Fork is from the producer of Napoleon Dynamite and centers on an overweight man who finds solice seeking an acting career. Or that's what I heard that it's about, who knows. You can never tell from a description in a festival program guide. And Zombie is about, what else, zombies. I love any new twist on the zombie movie.

While I haven't seen anything yet, I thought I would leave you with some of the scenery here in Park City from the TromaDance Film Festival...


The Tromadance Film Festival charges no entry fee for filmmakers and screens, well, pretty much anything. Which means you'll see a lot of crap. But you might also see these girls...


... and they not only like movies...


...they enjoy the company of movie fans just like you.

Gore gone.

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker and the creator of Film Threat. Chris’ book, The Ultimate Film Festival Survival Guide, is the bible for filmmakers touring on the festival circuit and a 4th edition will be published in 2008.

(Part one in a series of reports kicking off coverage of the Sundance Film Festival and all the madness taking place in Park City, Utah.)

Next week will mark a decade that I have been attending the Sundance Film Festival. Many describe this mother of all film festivals as a miserable experience – it takes place in the dead of winter, the theaters are too spread out, most of the movies suck and the parties are overcrowded. It’s just not any fun. Heck, any film fest can be lousy if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. I have seen the festival grow from a large event attended by media and celebrities premiering the best in independent cinema to an out of control movie-mad-mediapalooza. For me, it gets better year after year.

If you’ve ever thought about attending Sundance or any festival, you’ll need some basic tips for survival. If you can make it in Utah, hell, the rest of the festival world is as easy as a tape splice. (That’s one for the old school movie geeks.)


This tiny mountain town will be invaded by 30,000 people all trying to get into movies.

General travel tips. You’ll be sleeping a lot less, so drink lots of water and take lots of vitamins so you don’t get sick. Make restaurant reservations early so your diet consists of more than pizza and energy bars. Also, bring at least one formal outfit just in case you’re required to attend some fancy fest outing. And wear something loud – a bright hat, shirt, jacket, whatever. This makes it easy for friends to spot you in a crowd.


3.2 beer can have a powerful affect in Park City's high altitude.

Drinking in Utah. First of all, you should know that the alcohol content of drinks in Utah is lower than the rest of the country, beer has 3.2% alcohol as opposed to 4-5% in a regular beer. The altitude will compensate for the lower alcohol content by volume and you just get drunk faster on less liquor. So don’t be deceived by thinking you can drink more – it’s important to stay hydrated.

The best pizza in town. The best place to get a quick meal with a slice and a pitcher of 3.2 beer is at Red Banjo Pizza. This cute restaurant is located near the top of Main Street – 322 Main to be precise. Call them up at 435-649-9901 to order a pie or stop in and be sure to tell them I sent you. Because if you want dinner at Redford’s restaurant Zoom, located at the bottom of Main Street, well, good luck with that.


Sundance Film Festival Founder Robert Redford keeps a low profile during the festival. If you want to eat at his restaurant Zoom, it's probably too late to make reservations.

Choose movies wisely. There’s an episode of South Park in which a film fest takes over the town and our delightful cartoon characters describe the movies as “…a Gay cowboy eating a donut.” The unfortunate reality is that this isn’t far from the truth – festivals really show pretentious crap like this. The crucial mistake most people make when going to a festival is picking the wrong movies to see. It’s almost impossible to tell which films are worth seeing based solely on the title and vague write-ups provided in the festival program guide. When doing your research, look for certain keywords. A movie you want to skip will be described as “earnest” or “coming of age” or the worst possible, “an exercise in cinematic semiotics and experimentation.” Avoid these flicks like the corner crack whore. A movie you want to see sounds like “this story of one woman’s love for another woman…” or “Hong Kong action” or my favorite, “the most thought-provoking documentary about the daily lives of strippers ever made.” And be sure to steer clear of out of work television actors slumming in low budget indie films, watching these flicks is like a form of torture only equaled by a Pauly Shore movie marathon.

Have a plan “A” and a plan “B.” I attend every festival with my films already selected and an organized schedule. However, I almost never follow my itinerary because new opportunities present themselves, but I have it just in case. Come with some kind of plan and be prepared to make alternative plans. If you don’t have time for dinner, carry an energy bar. If you’re stuck waiting in line, bring a book. If it’s a choice between the Fox Searchlight movie opening in theaters in a month or the documentary that may never be seen anywhere else, always choose the small indie or doc. If you’re a filmmaker, be prepared to pitch that next project so that when you meet that actor, producer or executive, you are ready to pitch your next project.



How to get a good review from Roger Ebert. If you’re a filmmaker, there’s nothing like getting a good review from a respected film critic. So it might interest you to know that seven “Roger Eberts” can be found in the phone book in the Los Angeles area alone and one of them is bound to love your movie. Seriously, there are more outlets covering film today than films released in a year. No joke. If you can’t get a decent review in a recognizable media outlet, there are plenty of unknown media outlets on the web just salivating over the prospect of being quoted on your movie poster.

Set the cell to vibrate mode. Most annoying of is the constant sound of ring tones in the air as the suits waiting in line that drone on and on about the latest deal they struck. My response to these folks is always the same – I scream into my cell phone, “One million is an insult, this deal is over!” That generally stops all annoying conversations around me. Those uncomfortable looks afterwards can be a very entertaining bonus. And be sure to keep the cell phone set to vibrate – no one cares about your cute ring tones.

Make friends with the volunteers. To me, festival staffs can be really helpful if you are nice to them. And the volunteers are even more important as they can help you get into screenings that are “sold out.” Volunteers would much rather help someone who is kind to them than the jackass shouting at them with some “vip” attitude. If you wish to build relationships in the indie film world remember that it is a fluid one and the assistant this year, may be the festival director next year. So it’s important to be cool. Just like Fonzie.


Standing out at a party with a colorful hat has many benefits.

Wear something fabulous. Everyone has hat hair in Park City, but why not have a hat that stands out? It sure helps when trying to find your friends at a crowded screening or party. And a cool look counts for something. It’s important to be recognizable in a group, or at least in photos that appear in the trades. This year myself and the Film Threat crew will be wearing original hats designed by SG girl Noir . (Look for photographic evidence next week.)


Everyone has hat-hair during the festival so stay warm, but remain fashionable.

Get into any party… guaranteed. I have to divulge one of my best party-crashing lines ever. This one is dangerous, mainly because while it works, it can be difficult to pull off. It’s very successful when trying to gain entry into the most exclusive festival parties, so plan this one out by doing the following:
- First, you’ll need your own pint glass and a can of apple juice or beer. Pour some of the liquid into the glass and walk casually up to the entrance so the doorman does not see you.
- Make sure the doorman is distracted with the chumps waiting in line who will not be getting in.
- Next, pay attention to little details, if it’s cold outside, take off your jacket and tie it around your waist.
- Do not make eye contact with the doorman, that will only give you away.
- Slowly sidle up to entrance while the doorman is distracted. Once you are right next to him and just outside the door, very nonchalantly hold up your half full glass and politely ask: “Hey, is it cool if I take this drink outside? Is that okay? I’m just gonna grab a smoke.”
Since the party will get shut down if anyone is caught taking alcohol outside, the doorman will not only get mad, he'll literally throw you back into the party! He’s assuming you were already in to begin with, but now you are really in. Thank me for this one later.


The best theater at Sundance is the Egyptian on Main Street.

The truth about the business hurts. The reality is that the independent film world is a freelance business in which one rarely gets paid and almost no one gets paid well. Success is garnering good press or winning an award at a festival or receiving rave reviews or the simple pleasure of getting distribution and seeing your film open on the big screen. All of this perceived “success” still won’t pay the bills, so it’s important to take that tried and true parental advice and have a fall back plan to actually make money. Otherwise, you’ll be racking up credit card debt and filing for bankruptcy before your first feature even hits the festival circuit. Sad, but true.

And lastly, make some time away from the films and the fest to enjoy the local scene. I’ve been going to Sundance for years and I always make plans to learn to snowboard, but I’ve never done it. This year for sure… y’know, if I have time.

Gore gone.

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker and the creator of Film Threat. Chris’ book, The Ultimate Film Festival Survival Guide, is the bible for filmmakers touring on the festival circuit and a 4th edition will be published in 2008.

Sometimes I think I’m the luckiest guy in the world. As part of my “job,” I get to travel to film festivals all over the globe, see movies far in advance of their release and even watch flicks that may never see the light of day. And, to top it off, these fests usually have an open bar.

So don’t feel sorry for me when I say that it can get a little boring. I’m not talking about the travel, it’s the films – there’s a “sameness” about them. For the most part, independent film festivals screen pretty much the same movies. It makes a lot of sense as the programmers select their films from the same pool of movies that premiered at Sundance or Cannes or Toronto. So after a while, the subject matter begins to blend. There’s the indie “road” movie in which oddball characters go on a journey of discovery. There’s the “self-discovery-coming-of-age” movie in which the character must reveal his hidden crush on the high school football captain. There’s the “coming-home-after-a-long-absence-to-reconnect-with-family” in which a tragic event must be reconciled with a load of drama. And then there is the film I call “one-million-dollars-down-the-toilet-starring-fill-in-the-blank.” These are small indie films that will have no life outside the festival circuit and usually feature one “star.” And the “name” actor featured in said movie might be someone like Dean Cain or Maria Bello or Bill Macy or Scott Baio or Ed Burns or Parker Posey or Aaron Eckhart or y’know, fill-in-the-blank. It’s very odd to see these cliché independents screened in front of packed crowds, yet if you were flipping past them on cable TV, you would be reaching for the remote after five minutes.

So, whenever I discover a festival that breaks the mold and takes a unique direction by championing a type of movie worthy of more attention, I leap for joy! And, if I’m really inspired, I’ll jump in my car, fill the gas tank and head off on a road trip to one of these fests to see movies I know I won’t see anywhere else. Well, unless they’re out of the country, and that’s when I use my miles. Here's a round-up of fests worth the travel and expense:

CineVegas Film Festival
CineVegas takes place, where else, in Las Vegas and has been described as the “world’s most dangerous film festival.” Their offerings include plenty of violent and edgy films and docs rarely seen at other fests. Recently they hosted the world premiere of Artie Lang’s Beer League in which the entire cast attended.

Artie Lang's Beer League

Comedia Ha Ha
In addition to featuring some of the best comedians, this festival in Montreal, Canada screens a slew of comedies from around the world.

Cinema Sitges
Sitges, Spain is the place to be for this celebration of all things horror, sci-fi and fantasy. Fans and filmmakers come from everywhere to one of Spain's most beautiful vacation destinations. This is the place where bikinis are optional and attendees would rather sit indoors and watch movies -- that's just how good the films are.

Hollywood Horror Film Festival
This sidebar to the Hollywood Film Festival takes place in the heart of Hollywood at the Arclight Cinemas and is programmed by myself and Eric Campos of Film Threat. But I have to include this because the films are the kind of horror movies that are too extreme for theaters. This year the fest will premiere Dark Ride, which is just like the kind of 1970s blood n’ guts flick you used to hide your eyes from as a kid. In addition, the fest will premiere American Scary, a documentary about horror hosts like Elvira.

American Scary

Fantasia Fest
Now in its 10th year, Fantasia Fest in Montreal has a reputation for screening everything from Asian horror to extreme sci-fi indies that will never be seen on a movie screen anywhere. Fly, drive or take the train and spend a week seeing movies that will change your life forever.

Tokyo 1-minute Animation Festival
Okay, traveling to this festival to see one-minute animated movies may be a stretch, but this groundbreaking animation fest will make your jaw drop. And there’s a lot to do in Tokyo when you’re not watching films.

CineKink NYC
This New York event includes a variety of cutting edge erotica and it takes place very soon, October 17th-22nd to be exact. Here’s a short round-up of films on their schedule for this year:
"Vice and Consent," a documentary about the BDSM community, "Orgasmic Women: 13 Self-Loving Divas" share their intimate insights, "Webcam Girls," a visit with four pioneers of the girlcam frontier and "Other Peoples Mirrors," a dark, pseudo sci-fi centered around one woman's belief that by following the taboo-breaking directives of alien beings she will escape to her own nirvana. Even if the movie makes no sense, at least you can count on nudity. Get the full schedule on the site and you can thank me later.


Nihilist Film Festival
And when you’re completely burned out and depressed, you might actually find the films at this festival in Santa Monica, California kind of uplifting. Seriously.

Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and will be seated at the bar at the Arclight during the Hollywood Horror Film Festival on October 20th through 22nd. Beer and film is always a good combination, so join in.

Seattle's Bumbershoot Festival kicks off this weekend, beginning Sept 2nd. While this technically is filed under music news, in addition to the standard line-up of bands and performers, this year, the fest has also organized a good old fashioned craft fair. Local designers will be representing their handmade art and products in an area designated specifically for the crafts, so festival-goers, be sure to check it out.

Those not heading to Bumbershoot (or visitors otherwise occupied with following Blondie around the fest all day) can still catch what the craft show will offer by visiting the indie designers selected for the show here. One of my favorites is Copacetique, a cutie online boutique of vintage and otherwise charming accessories and crafts representing over 100 artists.

This weekend marks L.A.'s Tofu Festival, August 12-13th. While some scoff at the cubic wonder food, it's a great opportunity to try it in its many forms as restaurants compete for the tastiest tofu treats. Offering a full itinerary of festive attractions such as a celebrity chef cooking stage (including an Iron Chef!), performance by Blackalicious, a beer and sake garden, and a tofu-eating contest, vegetarians and tofu-aficionados have a kickass reason to unite.



For those stuck at home or unable to attend, whip up your own tofu festival using the inventive, free recipes at the Post Punk Kitchen, beginning with those that use tofu as the main ingredient.

Also, don't even bother making fun here; I'm proud of my TOFU LUV.

You may or may not be surprised by how many people are willing to travel for an opportunity to spend five days deconstructing typography. SOTA (The Society of Typographic Aficionados) organizes an annual conference chock full of speakers, workshops and other events specifically dedicated to the love of the letter. This year, the event is being held at the Hyatt Regency in Boston, hence its name: The Boston T Party.

The eighth TypeCon conference kicks off this Wednesday, August 9th and runs through the 13th. Catch all the details and the full schedule of events at the TypeCon website.


Image Location

Missing out on this one? Pick up a license to use Fleurons Of Hope, SOTA's collaborative charity font with "over 400 glyphs submitted by designers from all across the globe." Sales from the font are part of the SOTA Font Aid program; proceeds benefit victims of the South Asian Tsunami.

There’s a film currently playing on the festival circuit that has audiences and critics talking. It’s a crime drama with the kind of disjointed narrative that is exactly like something Quentin Tarantino would have made, say in 1994. It has so impressed audiences, that it’s been rumored that Quentin himself was involved somehow. Speculation has it that QT either wrote, directed or was somehow involved in making the low budget indie Ten ‘Til Noon.

I procured a copy of the film on DVD because I had to see it for myself. Damn! This is inspired filmmaking that must be seen. Ten ‘Til Noon is Tarantino-esque in all the right ways, from the dialog, to the characters, to the intensity of the situations and especially when it comes to the story.

We meet Larry as he is rudely awakened from his slumber at, you guessed it, 11:50 AM or ten ‘til noon. A badass ebony assassin and his statuesque hottie sidekick mastermind a home invasion. The killers sit comfortably in Larry’s bedroom, as calm as can be. At gunpoint, Larry is told he’s about to die, but before that happens, he is belittled by stories of his cheating wife, who is, at this very moment, being plowed by her stud at a cheap motel. He can’t believe his world has been turned completely upside down in just an instant. Then, the gun goes off, blood mixed with chunks of human splatter the expensive painting on the wall and, well, no more Larry. That kind of brutal violence happens in these kinds of crime dramas.


Is Quentin Tarantino in bed with some low budget filmmakers?

We then meet Larry’s wife Becky as she is getting the plowing of her life by a young stud on the verge of letting… loose… any… second! She keeps him from blowing his load by screaming aloud images such as, oh, disgusting maggots and mom jeans. But he releases anyway. After their story plays out, we meet the guys on the surveillance team watching the two lovers on hidden video as they, uh, complete. I don’t want to give any more away, but what follows is the same ten minute period of time, from 11:50 AM to noon, played out as we discover how all the characters' lives intersect… and the way it ends, no one could have ever guessed.


Becky wants it bad.

Every once in a while a movie like this comes along that needs a champion, and I intend to tell everyone I know about this film, starting with the audience here on Suicide Girls. Ten ‘Til Noon is currently playing to amazed audiences on the festival circuit and garnering a ton of accolades. If you can catch it at a fest, I recommend you run to get tickets.


Is Quentin behind this indie?

As for the Tarantino rumor, one critic seriously wrote in his review that the film must have been made by QT himself under a pseudonym. Sorry folks, it’s not true. The film comes from the mind of one Scott Storm, which, up until now, almost no one but myself had ever heard of. Storm made a brilliant film called Burn that played the Slamdance Film Festival years ago and I was one of the lucky few who was able to see it. Due to some BS legal red tape, Burn never saw the light of day. Refusing to give up the dream, Storm went right back to it and has delivered a film worthy of your attention.


These guys spend the entire movie jerkin' around... if you know what I mean.

So, as you are being bombarded with the latest multiplex crap, or season seven of that show you used to like on DVD, or snakes in your pants, remember that many of the filmmakers you admire today came from low budget indies that played on the festival circuit. Bryan (Superman Returns) Singer and Kevin (Clerks saga) Smith and Christopher (Batman Begins) Nolan and Darren (The Fountain) Aronofsky and plenty more all have their roots in films made for less than $50,000 grand that toured festivals. They all broke big and you know their movies today because movie geeks like me went to see their films at festivals when, you know, they would return my phone calls. Now you can get into the cinema of Scott Storm early by seeing TTN, so check out the trailer, visit the web site, or make some friends with these guys on their MySpace page. Right now, they might have some time to write to you. But in the future, don't count on it.

So, don’t just mindlessly go to the movies, make a choice to see something that isn’t pre-sold, pre-packaged and over-marketed.

Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and enjoys using baby wipes on things other than babies.

Beginning today in Tibet is the annual Buddha-Painting Unfolding Festival. At monasteries throughout Tibet, enormous silk paintings are unfolded during three consecutive days for thousands of onlookers and believers to worship and pay their respects.

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Photo Location: Xigaze Buddha Painting Unfolding Festival