Those of you who think the Democratic presidential candidates will solve the healthcare crisis in any way are horribly wrong. The current plans of Hillary Clinton, John Edwards and Barack Obama will actually make the situation worse. The three candidate's plans are similar in that they do not provide universal health care, but rather universal health insurance. One hint that they are bad plans is that the insurance companies are all for them.

The Republicans would like the free market to take over and fix the problem because we all know that business, when allowed to run free, always benefits the common man. That is why unions formed, because the common man was treated so well.

But enough about those corporate whores, let’s talk about the other corporate whores. The Clinton and Edwards proposals both contain a mandate, which would force healthy individuals to buy insurance in order to put more money into the system to cover the sick. How great does that sound?

Edwards' plan is completely retarded. He wants to go with mandated insurance with an option between public and private care. That way, private insurance companies can bounce the really sick and keep the healthy, so public insurance can pick up the tab for high-risk patients. The idea that we can regulate or hope private insurance companies will do the right thing is about as smart as the free market plan. Wait, it is the free market plan, except worse.

Hillary's plan is retardeder than Edwards'. It is exactly the same as Nixon’s proposed plan on 1974. Wait? Did I just write that? Yes, I did.

But hey, Nixon would have been considered a liberal by today's standards. Hillary's plan is also exactly like Mitt Romney's plan. And it is like John Edwards’ plan, except she decided to leave out any sort of enforcement mechanism for mandated insurance. That would make it, uh, not mandated. Although, Edwards' creepy enforcement ideas makes Hillary's non-enforcement look pretty good.

Edwards’ plan will collect back premiums by using collection agencies and garnishing wages. So he will make you buy health insurance, then send collection agencies after you when you don’t. I wonder how much money collection agencies have given to his campaign?

Sorry, but the whole thing sounds creepy to me, as well as a regulation nightmare.

Obama makes sure he falls to the right of Clinton and Edwards on just about every issue and healthcare is no different. He has been spending his days bagging on universal healthcare, much like the Republicans. Not surprisingly, his universal health insurance plan is more half-assed than his opponents’ plans.

Obama’s plan only mandates insurance for kids. But under his plan, healthy people could choose not to buy insurance and then sign up for it later when they became sick. How awesome is that? This would result in higher premiums for everyone else.

Still, I’d take no mandates over mandates. Obama’s is the only plan that doesn’t bend over completely for the insurance companies, but it falls very short of taking care of the problem.

All three plans fall way short and will lead to a massive payday for insurance companies. You know, the very companies whose bullshit policies have led us to this very point. Any plan that does not address the simple point that for profit health care does not work will only make the problem worse.

Right now Dennis Kucinich is the only candidate with a decent plan: Universal single-payer, not-for-profit health care system. Until the profit is taken out of health care expect more of the same.

Idiots on the right like to think that Democrats are liberals. That is one of the many things that make people on the right idiots. Democrats are far from liberal. One glaring example of how conservative they have become was yesterday’s forum on gay rights.

The forum was annoying. Not because of all the questions, talking and opinions but because it was held one building away from where I work. Cops and the Secret Service were everywhere, which forced me to park down the street and caused people who were coming in for meetings to be late. I’m not sure if gay rights are worth the hassle I had to go through yesterday. Luckily I survived.

It was the first time that presidential candidates of any party have appeared on TV to talk solely about gay issues. Inside the building the leading candidates were all saying the same thing.

Notice he did not say that he supports gay marriage. How very “progressive.” Obama has not yet said he supports gay marriage, like his church does. Quite the liberal hero, aren’t you Barack?

Well, that is not a surprise because Hillary is just a Republican wearing Clinton skin. Not a modern day Republican – those guys are fucking lunatics. I’m talking about a Republican from 20 or 30 years ago. Good work, Hillary. Civil unions are a nice, safe stance for your bullshit middle of the road campaign.

His position being that it should not happen, but he is from the south, so what else would you expect?

Uh, okay. Way to not answer whether or not you support gay marriage. Sure, it’s not achievable. Doesn’t make you any less of an asshole. One way to bring the country along is to support it, but that is leadership and you seem to be missing that quality.

Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel both support same sex marriage. So do I. All three of us have the same chance of being president. Even scarier, I am the least crazy of the three of us.

Joe Biden and Chris Dodd didn’t bother to show up.

Republicans were also offered a chance to have their own forum on gay rights, but for some reason they turned it down. It probably has something to do with the fact that Republicans are now religious lunatics. And Democrats are the new Republicans. Yay, America!