THE SUNDAY HANGOVER

005

WARREN ELLIS

Dinner tonight? Scotch and Pringles, by the look of things. I'm in San Diego, it's Saturday night, and I go onstage at the San Diego Comic-Con International in less than two hours. The Red Bull Company have delivered me five pallets' worth of cans. I've seen Wil Wheaton for a sum total of about one minute. I saw Zoetica for about thirty seconds -- she's currently across town and mostly naked at the Dr Sketchy's gig, while I'm here in my hotel room banging this out. One may suggest that my priorities are a little skewed.



All I've seen of San Diego this time is the view from my hotel room. The Convention Center itself, which looks like it was made by two architects and a kid with a bucket of Lego while spending an afternoon ripped to the gizzard on Ritalin. And the bay, which has featured military vessels from time to time. I may have occasionally stood at the window with a small drink in my hand exhorting them to turn their guns on the con center. Because you can't trust those furries. Any one of them could be Osama. Open up the big cannons on the fuckers and let their yiffy god sort them out.



They always worry me when they pass wherever I'm signing. They never bring books -- I guess I don't appeal to that crowd. But I still get a little shudder. An actress acquaintance of mine once got shot by a costumed fan. He was a mass of fur, a human-sized Tribble from Star Trek. He asked the actress to pose for a photo with him, which she duly did. And as she put an arm around his hairy bulk, an air pistol nosed out of his side, and fired a pellet into her ribs. Turned her black with bruising all up her side. Obviously, an actual gun would have killed her instantly. The guy apparently leapt back and yelled "you've been morphed!" before he was brought down. So I always have armed security to hand at converntion signings. And I give the furries a wide berth.



My actress acquaintance would come off the convention floor of an evening, go straight to the hotel bar, do a shot in one, look at her hand to see if it was steady, and go up to her room to "wash them off me." She did several cons a year, selling signed photos.



Me? After watching her take that shaky shot every day, I decided I'd hold it down to one show a year. Familiarity, after all, breeds contempt. And also, apparently, armed furbags who want to morth women to death.

-- Warren Ellis

The San Diego Comic Con is the birthplace of ideas when it comes to pop culture. In fact, the Con is, in no small way, responsible for the most popular genre movies that make their way to theaters and end up becoming the biggest films at the box office. This is where comics, novels and children’s books are discovered by TV and film executives to develop into movies.

Last year Comic Con attendees were greeted with this banner promoting the film Accepted.

It’s also where the creators of such properties can directly connect with fans and hear what they really think. Fans have plenty of opportunities to talk back and offer praise, positive feedback and sometimes, valuable negative comments in the interests of having an influence on their favorite genre characters and stories.

If you happen to be at the con, just for fun, mention that you absolutely loved that director Joel Schumacher put nipples on the Batsuit. In fact, you thought it was a fabulous idea. Do this while waiting in any random Comic Con line and prepare not only to get an earful, you will know the wrath of geeks and learn to fear them. In fact, my personal favorite memories of con’s past are those longwinded late night conversations in hotel bars discussing how Jar Jar ruined Star Wars or the death of the Star Trek franchise. Heck, I love the fact that I can make an obscure joke/reference to the movie Krull while taking a leak in the restroom, and 10 nerds at the urinals next to me will laugh and piss on themselves. For me, this is movie geek heaven. It’s the place I feel I can really fit in among all the misfits.

I remember a time when I would mention the words “Comic Con” and I'd receive a puzzled look along with a question, "Is this a convention for comedians?" Now, the con has grown nearly beyond the capacity of the enormous San Diego Convention Center and tops out attendance at 120,000 geeks, myself among them. The four day event actually had to stop admitting people for the very first time on Saturday last year. These are the most passionate from geekdom who have traveled from all over the world get to face to face with their heroes.

Costumes are not just for nerds...

The trip down south for Hollywood folks was once a well kept secret, but now mainstream outlets are covering the con, and even lonely creators and illustrators with Xeroxed books who are relegated to the far corners of the convention center are sought out for their stories. A hand-made stapled together comic book could be the next big movie franchise. This is exactly how properties such as Bob Burden’s comic Mystery Men and Men in Black were discovered and turned into films.

Now the con is incredibly important to the film studios as a launching pad for films. Buzz starts at Comic Con for all the big movies, and this year will be no different as fans will be treated to sneaks of movies coming to theaters in 2008. Presenting trailers, or rough cuts of scenes, passing out freebies like posters and buttons, starts fans talking to other fans and online about what will be hot next year.

I’m highlighting the films I’m personally excited about. It should be pointed out that all of these all began as either a comic book (Hulk, Iron Man, Batman), a children's books (Where the Wild Things Are), a cartoon/anime series (Speed Racer) or a TV series (Star Trek) – and all of them became popular among fans at Comic Con so that they could become films in the first place.

I’ll update this piece with additional details next week, once I’ve recovered, but for now, here’s a sneak peek at Comic Con’s movie offerings. Now, it’s time to get my geek on!


The Wachowski Brothers will bring Speed Racer to theaters in 2008 with Christina Ricci as Trixie and Emile Hirsch as Speed. As of this writing, Chim Chim has not been cast.


Robert Downey, Jr. is the man of steel in Iron Man.


Ed Norton will turn green in summer 2008 in the Hulk sequel. But will Hulk smash?


Can J.J. Abrams reinvent the Star Trek franchise?


Spike Jonze is sure to put a twisted spin on his adaptation of Maurice Sendak's beloved children's book Where the Wild Things Are.


Tim Burton takes a stab at dark comedy with Sweeney Todd.


The full title of the fourth Indiana Jones film is rumored to be revealed. Pictured in the center is Shia Labeouf from Disturbia, who plays a key role in the new adventure.


Will we get a glimpse of the Joker in action from Batman: Dark Knight?

NOTE: Check back for Comic Con updates... for now...
Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is more than geeks the eye.

The Fantastic Four was my gateway comic book. It was the comic book that made me fall in love with comics. Like many who discovered Marvel comics as a kid, I enjoyed reading stories involving super-heroes burdened with personal problems. These were characters that I could relate to. While the adventures were larger than life, the events were always grounded in the reality of everyday life. Heroes not only had to deal with their sworn enemies, but school, work, family and relationships.

There were certain issues of the FF that were so grand in scale that it diminished any piece of fiction that I’d experienced as a 12 year-old. In particular, issue number 48 of the Fantastic Four, which I read reprinted in an aptly-named “Giant-Sized” edition of the FF, told a tale titled “The Coming of Galactus.” The story was epic. It introduced the Silver Surfer and Galactus. And other characters like the Watcher and the Thing’s girlfriend Alicia, paid off in ways that were genius. In its original printing, the story spanned three issues, which was not normal at the time when most comics were wrapped up all their conflicts in about 20 pages. Reading this one story as a kid was off the charts and blew away any book, television show or movie I’d seen. I remember thinking then, wow, this story would make a really good movie.

Cut to years later, and the Fantastic Four was being made into a movie… by Roger Corman. This was the infamous low-budget project that was shot in 1993 so that a German production company Constantin Films could hold onto the rights. To do that, the FF movie had to be in production before the end of the year. I somehow talked them into allowing me to write a story about the production and I was on the set for most of the two week shoot. I interviewed just about everyone involved and the cover story appeared in Film Threat. I recall a sense of sadness at watching a cheap production being made from my favorite comic book. The other memory is seeing poor actress Rebecca Staab, who played Sue Storm, in her blue leotard costume… it was very revealing in the most embarrassing places. If you’ve seen a bootleg copy of this film, you know the result is not much better than a fan film, but it amazed me how much heart was put into that little movie.

In 2005, director Tim Story brought us the latest incarnation of the fab four. While this Fantastic Four film’s flaws have already been discussed at length, what he got right were the characters. Sure, the effects seemed anemic and the budget seemed low, but there was heart at the center of what was ultimately a disappointment. Super-hero origin stories seem to come with their share of baggage – translating the characters, costumes, situations and decades of history onto the screen while pleasing the most fickle fans.


Now Story returns with the inevitable sequel Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and without the burden of telling that origin tale. He’s also tackling that epic adventure from issues 48, 49 and 50 of the Fantastic Four comic book that many, including myself, point to as one of greatest stories ever inked, drawn and lettered. The result is a mixed bag. There is as much to like and there is to, I don’t want to say hate, so much as cringe at. There’s good and bad at every turn. It’s like having sex for the very first time and it’s so amazing and then you realize that… your mom is watching. You know, it’s good and then bad. Really bad. Okay, that’s a really creepy thought, but I can’t explain it any other way.


If you plan on catching the film, here are a few things you need to know… most of them spoilers, so read them at your own risk.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

The Silver Surfer is cool.
He’s mostly seen in digital form when flying around, but the make-up and costume as worn by Doug Jones is spectacular. It really is.

It’s about character.
The character interplay between the four, in particular, Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm, is dead on. In fact, it’s so entertaining, special effects are not required to enjoy their presence on screen – the two rivals are so much fun to watch.


The story makes no sense.
The climax in which the cloud dissipates is not explained very well and we seem to be prompted to cheer the finale by the music cues and not by any actual events. Doctor Doom wants the Surfer’s board because, um, I think he wants power? Or something? It’s not really made clear. The Silver Surfer reveals his identity to Sue, that he was once Norrin Radd, and that means, what exactly?

Galactus is a cloud. Yep, a cloud.
The movie begins as we see an enormous cloud hurtling through space toward earth and that cloud destroys a planet. We find out later that this cloud is Galactus. I don’t see any reason that a huge spacecraft couldn’t be seen at the center of the cloud and some 40 foot giant wearing a Mardi Gras style head could not have appeared and scared the bejeezus out of our heroes. The absence of Galactus being seen in some type of human form makes the threat far less menacing. And Doctor Doom is not a good replacement for Galactus’ presence.

Humor saves the day.
In the end, the humor really saves the movie. It’s not quite as juvenile as the first flick, and the switching powers thing does pay off in the end.

If I’d never read that comic as a kid, I probably would have enjoyed this movie much more. Unfortunately, I cannot unread it and the idea of what this could have been still lingers in my mind. I still feel as if that epic comic book tale remains to be told in the form of a movie. Perhaps someone like a Christopher Nolan could reinvent the FF years later and tackle this story in a way that would go beyond my imagination. One can’t help thinking how much better it would have been if they’d just been a bit more faithful to the original comic book.

Gore gone.

Chris_Gore fights crime in Los Angeles as the costumed avenger known as the Weasel.

For the first time ever, SuicideGirls is making a very special Halloween Photoset FREE to the public. If you are over 18, click here to see the FREE Gallery. What better way to celebrate this devilishly delightful holiday than with a truly terrifying zombie set featuring a classic SuicideGirl?

Diner of Death is the SuicideGirls take on the anti-comic movement of the early '50s. Evil, gruesome, shocking, and ridiculously sexy, it will get you in the mood for tricks and treats of all kinds.

It's hard to believe Fantagraphics has been around for thirty years, setting a standard for independent comics by producing and anthologizing the best by indie comics artists such as Dan Clowes, R. Crumb, Chris Ware, Dame Darcy, Tony Millionaire, Jim Woodring, Charles Burns and more. Aside from indulging in the bountiful catalog, visitors to New York can also check out an exhibit at the Society of Illustrators NYC running until October 21st of original pieces by Fantagraphics' esteemed roster. The Society of Illustrators is located at 128 E. 63rd St, is open Tuesday-Saturday, and is free to visit.


Artwork by Dan Clowes
Hat tip to DART.

1-Up is an indie "mega" zine published by video game lifestyle enthusiast Raina Lee. Each issue is chock full of intriguing articles about all aspect of video gaming including critique of video game culture such as "the military-entertainment industry complex" and "gaming from a minority perspective."

Each issue is quality in both content and presentation. Check out the silkscreened covers designed by John Pham. Issue Four forthcoming in the shop and for those up to the challenge, submission guidelines are here.


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