Coca-Cola Plans to Conserve Water
Theres something slightly weird about the idea of Coca-Cola conserving water. Like if KFC "went humane" and decided to conserve chickens. How do you cut back on your number one ingredient?
It seems when Coca-Cola manufactures Coke, Sprite and former Nazi super-soda Fanta, they use 2.5 liters of water per liter of soda. Multiply that by however many millions of liters we all suck down each year and thats a good amount of H2O. But heres the kicker: in addition to the comparatively paltry amount used in the physical production, another 175 to 250 liters of water is needed to grow the sugar that goes into just one liter of soda-pop. Fuck. Jason Clay, a World Wildlife Foundation researcher, put it simply:
They really need to get a handle on sugar.
To offset the mass consumption of water, Coke has vowed to fund a $20 million water conservation project with the World Wildlife Foundation with the aim of protecting and conserving seven major rivers around the world. The CEO of Coca-Cola, E. Neville Isdell, said today at a news conference:
Essentially the pledge is to return every, every drop we use back to nature. If the communities around ... our bottling plants do not flourish and are not sustainable, our business will not be sustainable in the future.
I wont argue with their impregnable corporate logic, but Im left wondering if this isnt all a complex ploy to trick our environmental-friendly minds into switching to (sugarless) Coke Zero for some fiendish but-as-yet-unknown reason. World domination, perhaps? Aspartame induced sterility ala Children of Men? Go ahead, world
surrender your will and your dollar to the no-carb taste sensation, after all, Coke does make some cute commercials:
Aaron Lariviere secretly wishes the world had more diabolical plots so that he could discover one on his own, and stop pulling them out of his ass.
Coca-Cola Cashes in on Green Trend
Coca-Cola's new concept store in Toronto comes in a neatly wrapped package: bamboo, overstuffed chairs, recycled cups and fair trade coffee. However the Yorkville store, Far Coast, won't admit its ties with Cokea company renowned for gross human rights violations and murder, covered up by corporate branding and a sugar-coated smile.
As reported in NOW Magazine, the cafe is "a trendy teal and orange" with all the upscale features you'd expect to find in a modern coffee shop. Far Coast offers a fair trade option and features reclaimed wood in its design.
The cafe, however, is "basically appeasing people with the bare minimum," says Jennifer Wright of Green Shift, pioneers of the biodegradable coffee cup.
Silvio Annosantini, Coca-Cola's director of premium brewed beverages (how's that for a job title?), is quick to point out that a fair trade coffee is always available at Far Coast, perhaps taking aim at Starbucks, which only brews some once a month.
But consumers must wonder, where does the company get the rest of their beans? The company playing nice with coffee farmers is a little hard to swallow if you add up all the charges made by global human rights groups like New York-based Killer Coke.
NOW is confident that Toronto's green-conscious community will ask the right question: who's dying for your coffee?
Coca-Cola to Introduce Calorie-Burning Green Tea Soda
Enviga is a new green tea based beverage coming soon from the Coca-Cola company who claim that 3 12-ounce servings can actually burn 60-100 calories. The beverage taps into the age-old powers of green tea extract or epigallocatechin gallate which when combined with caffeine can have the effect of speeding up the metabolism.
Dr. Rhona Applebaum, chief scientist, The Coca-Cola Company says:
"Enviga increases calorie burning. It represents the perfect partnership of science and nature... Enviga contains the optimum blend of green tea extracts (EGCG), caffeine and naturally active plant micronutrients designed to work with your body to increase calorie burning, thus creating a negative calorie effect. It makes this product stand out as unique. Enviga brings the benefits of green tea to the forefront in a convenient and accessible, great tasting beverage."
That's pretty good marketingspeak from a "Chief Scientist"...
Enviga will be available in the northeast U.S. sometime this month, and in the rest of the country in January.
Will this miracle product actually help you lose weight just by drinking it, or is Enviga destined to go the way of Olestra, the "miracle" fat substitute that only seemed to be successful at giving unsuspecting customers bad cases of the funny poops.