One wouldn’t think there would be much to discuss after seeing a raunchy comedy, but Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is not your typical comedy. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan will not only leave viewers with stomach pain from laughter, but there are many social issues worthy of conversation, as well as a number of lessons to be learned by film’s the hype and inevitable success. (Hey, I get paid by the word, so each time I mention the title, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, that’s an extra 12 words that gets added to this story.)


Rather than hit you over the head with a diatribe about how Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is effectively a fish-out-of-water tale mocking the ugly American, I’d just like to point out some observations you’re not likely to read in any other coverage of the movie.


Real People VS. Actors
There’s no better acting than reality in which no acting is involved. Borat’s original director Todd Phillips left the project when a shoot at a rodeo in Salem, VA ended in chaos that nearly turned violent. It was then that Borat actor-creator-star Sacha Baron Cohen chose to pair the film crew down to a miniscule level which further helped to sell the reality of the film’s story – a foreigner documenting his travels across America. The astonished reactions of the real people within the film transcend typical acting from comic actors where we know it’s fake. Lesson: Real is funnier.


Yakov Regrets Not Wrestling Men in the Nude
Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff must really be wishing that he thought about wrestling a naked man 20 years ago. (It’s a scene that I won’t ruin, but it provides perhaps the biggest laughs in the movie.) You might remember Yakov as the guy who would say, “What a country?!” Or you might not. In fact, almost no one remembers, but the roots of Borat’s character are clearly influenced by the same type of comedy done by Yakov. Well, if you add racism and sexism done in a way that works. Lesson: Female nudity is sexy, but male nudity is funny.


Borat could have been unfunny like The Terminal
There was a Steven Spielberg film starring Tom Hanks released in 2004 called The Terminal which is painfully unfunny. Hanks stars as Viktor Navorski who is a foreigner with an accent much like Borat’s. Viktor is trapped at an airport when his fictional country of Krakozhia is overthrown. The comedy is forced and the humor is painful. This cliché by-the-numbers-tug-at-your-heart-strings picture excited, well, no one. Sacha Cohen learned a painful lesson when his Ali G character was forced into a traditional narrative feature script and like a square peg being jammed into a round hole, the result was ugly. And definitely not funny. For Borat, Coen went scriptless and the result is more true to the character. Lesson: Throw away the script. For some films, a script should come in outline form only.


Shoot the Sequel Yesterday
Sacha “Borat” Cohen’s recent whirlwind press tour and the release of the film itself will effectively kill any chance that there could ever be a Borat sequel. The comedy in the film is based on the innocent bystander’s ignorance that Borat is an actor playing a character and not a real foreigner promoting offensive beliefs. Now that everyone knows the gag, Cohen would have to travel to uncharted regions of America in order to find someone unaware of his movie. Lesson: If it looks like a hit, shoot the sequel before the first movie hits theaters.

Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and one day hopes to travel to Kazakhstan to meet Borat's sister.

We're so spoiled now. We’re all just one click of a mouse away from viewing a bevy of beautiful babes on our computers. (Especially here on Suicide Girls!) But imagine a time when skirts were long, skin was hidden and catching even a glimpse of the forbidden female form was nearly impossible. There’s always a certain amount of struggle involved in a young boy’s pursuit to see a naked woman for the first time. In the 1950s it was really tough since there was no such thing as cable TV or Internet or easily attainable dime store girlie rags. But there was Bridget Bardot.


...actress, sex kitten, and international icon, Bardot was also a savior.

And this girl aimed to please. She was not only an alluring accomplished actress, sex kitten, and international icon, Bardot was also a savior. Her bigger than life performances in films like “The Night Heaven Fell,” were a lifesaver to boys growing up in the 1950s.

Bardot was one of the very first women to bare all in mainstream films. Well, foreign films anyway. She is nude in several scenes in "Night" providing more than enough masturbation material for even the most demanding young male. I admire the boys who went to great lengths to see an arthouse movie in the fifties, just to see a naked Brigitte Bardot. Think of what these boys had to go through in their quest to cast their eyes upon Bardot’s holy naked visage. The sacrifices made by these kids who had to suffer through love scenes, subtitles and melodrama just to see that rare glimpse of nudity is admirable. These boys also had to work very hard to imprint this image in their mind so when they were alone, that totally nude Bardot dancing in their brain paved the way for a perfect evening. Bardot’s image burned into their memory became their salvation in times of need. “The Night Heaven Fell” is a reminder that kids in those days had it rough.


...she simply oozed sex.

Bardot became an international star with the 1956 worldwide release of “…And God Created Woman” in which she simply oozed sex. “The Night Heaven Fell” was her third collaboration with then-husband Roger Vadim. “Heaven” is campy melodrama in prime form. Bardot’s character Ursula may seem innocent, but she’s just as sexy as her turn as a bed-hopping bachelorette in “God.” The 1958 film featured a soap opera plot like many films of the period. Bardot falls madly in love with the exotic Spaniard Lamberto (Stephen Boyd) who tragically murders her uncle. In a strangely dramatic, though not surprising turn of events, Bardot’s aunt (Alida Valli) also confesses her love for Lamberto. And what’s a great melodrama without a pet pig? When the two lovers live on the lam in the town’s surrounding caves, Bardot pleads for the life of her precious little piggy when Lamberto endeavors to eat the swine. “Heaven” is textbook melodrama, as entertaining as it is unbelievable. And even worse for those unaccustomed to foreign films, the movie is in French with English subtitles. All this adds up to a film that would appeal to young boys about as much as taking a bath or using soap for mouthwash. “Heaven’s” saving grace is Bardot’s breasts. Well and her bare back, behind, long legs, tight tummy, the whole package! There is something nostalgic about seeing Bardot in all her splendor without a stitch of clothing. It’s reminiscent of a time when a naked back or thigh was considered taboo. And that rare sight was enough to drive a young boy into a frenzy. Or at least prop him up on his bed like a bicycle with a kickstand.


Happy B-Day BB! September 28th, 72 years young.

I really do wish I could erase the sight of all the naked beauties I’ve seen in my time. Delete all those erotic movie moments from my mind if only to experience the thrill of the first time my eyes gazed upon a bare-breasted Bardot. Seeing films like “Heaven” again is a simple reminder that the first time is truly the best. And I’m glad I had my first with Bardot. Well, at least in the not-so-innocence of my overactive boyhood imagination.

Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and would some day like to visit a nude beach.

The heart of the entertainment business is in Los Angeles where movie-going is not just a habit, but a religion. Today’s movie theaters are facing perhaps their greatest threat ever – your living room. As big screen HD TVs and surround sound systems become more common combined with DVDs of major releases hitting shelves within months of their theatrical runs, seeing a movie at home makes sense. In fact, a home theater is something even the average family can realistically afford. However, no 5.1 sound system or theater-buttered popcorn or authentic theater seats can replace a wildly enthusiastic (yet respectful) audience. It is the audience itself that makes the difference – sharing the thrills, the cheers and the tears with hundreds of strangers in a communal experience that is totally unique.
It should surprise no one that LA and its surrounding areas are home to some of the best movie theaters in the country.

The following recommendations provide not only state of the art projection and sound, but an undefinable mystique that make them the best places to go see a movie in Los Angeles, for both locals and visitors.

1. Arclight Hollywood
6360 Sunset Blvd, Hollywood, CA 90028. Call 323-464-4226
The ArcLight is a church where film fanatics come to worship. This theater may have been designed for film snobs, but it comes without the film elitism one would expect, just higher ticket prices to keep out the riff raff. ($14 bucks, which isn’t that bad.) And if you get your ArcLight card, your loyalty will earn free tickets and popcorn, balancing out the higher prices. The ArcLight is home to the Cinerama Dome, one of the largest screens in the city. In addition to superior projection and sound, the seating is assigned which means you can show up one minute before the lights dim and still have the best seat in the house even on a crowded Saturday night. I recommend showing up early, buying your tickets in advance, then grabbing drinks, dinner or appetizers in the restaurant located in the theater – your waiter will even take note of your screening time and get you to the movie without missing the trailers. Best yet, look for films playing at the “Black Box” theater – this screen is over 21 and features a full bar so you can see your favorites with your favorite adult beverage without having to sneak in the liquor. The ArcLight store contains the best of pop culture kitsch from books, t-shirts, magazines and plenty of unnecessaries to complete your gift-giving list. Across from indoor store you’ll see prop or costume displays for films currently playing, so you can marvel at original costumes and weaponry right up close. This is also the theater where filmmakers and celebrities of all kinds come to see films, their own and their peers. On a busy weekend, you’ll see stars not just on the screen, but probably in the seat next to you, so if you care about celebrity spotting, this is your place. The architecture is breathtaking and upon entering the lobby you’ll discover the best part – the vibe. You’ll feel as if you’ve gotten behind the velvet ropes of the hottest club and entered movie paradise. It’s that cool.

2. Mann's Chinese Theater
6925 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA 90028. Call 323-464-8111
The Chinese is a classic venue that is firmly a part of Hollywood history. Not just a movie theater, but a major tourist attraction with the hands and feet of major stars forever preserved in cement outside the venue. Where else can you compare your shoe size to that of Jack Nicholson or Darth Vader? The screen for the main theater is enormous and considering that films like Star Wars opened there on May 25th, 1977, it’s no wonder that the Chinese has become something of a pilgrimage for movie maniacs all over the world.
And don’t forget, that the Mann Chinese 6, a notable multiplex, located just upstairs from the classic.

3. Pacific Vineland Drive-In
443 North Vineland, City of Industry, CA 91715. Call 626-9619262
It’s like tailgating with movies! The only drive-in left in southern California boasts four screens of entertainment showing two movies each. Best yet, it’s very affordable as tickets are only $7 each, and that’s for two films. (Kids under 12 are free.) On weekends each screen has three showings, repeating the first film in the third slot (for example, shows are 8 PM, 10 PM and midnight), so if you’re smart, you can see three films for dirt cheap! Bring in your own refreshments and save a bundle, and you can fill that cooler with whatever you want. (I like beer myself. Uh, light beer.) For old times sake, sneak a friend in for free as he hides in the trunk. Make it a party by bringing all your tailgating supplies and don’t forget the lawn chairs with those convenient cup holders. The drive-in experience is quickly becoming lost to a generation, so you owe it to yourself to visit the Vineland.

4. Laemmle’s Sunset 5
8000 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046. Call 323-848-3500
This arthouse venue screens films you would not see at any other theater. Films in limited release or hot off the festival circuit find a home at the Sunset 5. The filmmakers themselves will often attend the screenings, engaging in impromptu question and answer sessions. Once the film is over, you can enjoy all that Sunset Boulevard has to offer, and best yet, your parking is already validated.

5. Pacific Theatres at The Grove
189 The Grove Dr., Los Angeles, CA 90036. Call 323-692-0829
A gorgeous theater with stadium seating throughout located in a trendy outdoor shopping mall that even has a Mac store. Grab a bite at any of the fine restaurants before catching a film and you might even get to enjoy a free concert in the courtyard just outside the theater. The Grove also has something unique: self serve refreshments making lines move faster--and you can fill up your drinks as much as you’d like.

6. Mann Village Theatre
961 Broxton Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90024. Call 310-208-5576
The Village is set to become a future piece of entertainment industry history as the venue plays host to some of the biggest red carpet premieres in Hollywood. (However, this theater is technically located in Westwood.) A Saturday night screening at the Village attracts a dedicated audience of film freaks, so much so that the studios will use the venue as a place to test out reactions to new movie trailers. The enormous screen will have you looking for a seat in the balcony just to take it all in.

7. El Capitan
6838 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles CA 90028. Call 323-467-7674
Owned by Disney, you’ll see all the latest releases here from the Mouse presented in a classic movie theater setting. Ticket prices are a little higher here, but worth it for the pre-show organ extravaganza – be sure to show up early so you don’t miss this musical treat. And no theater in LA has a curtain that opens quite as fabulously as this one –those sparkles will blind you. Many props from the film are on display as this is where Disney holds all of their red carpet premieres. Afterwards you can visit the Disney store there for the latest hard-to-find merchandise. Some films are even accompanied by interactive displays designed for kids to experience aspects of the film they’ve just seen live. These are hosted right next door and sometimes require a separate admission fee.

8. Egyptian Theatre
6712 Hollywood Boulevard, Hollywood, CA 90028. Call 323-466-3456
This completely restored classic theater from old Hollywood is home to the American Cinematheque, a program of unique independent films, foreign cinema and the best from film festivals. Many of the programs include conversations with world renowned filmmakers themselves, even George Lucas spoke there. The venue feels as if one has entered a palace from another time adding a magical ambience one won’t find anywhere.

9. Laemmle’s Playhouse 7
673 East Colorado Boulevard, Pasadena, CA 91101. Call 626-844-6500
Arthouse film buffs have seven screens to choose from offering the latest in highbrow cinema. Grab a coffee in the lobby and prepare to see films that are hard to find at any other theater. Located on Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena, it’s a brisk walk to old town to experience the nightlife there with some of the best bars and restaurants just outside of LA.

10. Vista
4473 Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90027. Call 323-660-6639
Another classic theater that, while in need of restoration, retains all its former glory in remaining unchanged. This is how they used to screen films in that golden age of movies and you can experience it today, just as audience’s did back then. Located in the Los Feliz area, the Vista is a short walk to bars and restaurants like the famous Dresden Room, seen in the film Swingers with Jon Favreau.

Arthouses in LA Worth Checkin' Out

Nuart Theatre
11272 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90025. Call 310-281-8223
This old standby has healthy treats along with the best from the festival circuit.

Rialto
1023 Fair Oaks Ave., South Pasadena, CA 91030. Call 626-388-2122
Keep an eye on the schedule for an impressive retrospective program and midnight movies like the original Planet of the Apes.

Regent Showcase
614 North LaBrea, Los Angeles, CA 90036. Call 323-934-2944
This single screen venue focuses on the basics – bringing the best of the arthouse circuit to an appreciative audience.

Chris Gore’s Garage
By invitation only.
Yes, I have an amazing set up in my garage. But tickets come at a steep price – you have to be a friend of mine.

Okay, so now it's your turn. Tell me about your favorite movie theaters in your neck of the woods. Post 'em in the comments and then I'll know where to see flicks when I travel to your town.

Gore gone!

Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and in his spare time, protects the city of Los Angeles as a crime-fighting masked vigilante.