Surviving Lollapalooza: Day 3
LOLLAPALOOZA DAY 3
Sunday August 5th, 2007 Grant Park Chicago, IL
The day the earth stood still
THIS IS THE REASON MUSIC FESTIVALS EXIST! What sucks about music festivals is that there are so many bands and so little time that you wind up missing a lot of what you wanted to see. The only problem I had with Lolla this year is that practically every band I wanted to check out was on Sunday! Juliette & The Licks, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Heartless Bastards, Lupe Fiasco, Amy Winehouse, The Black Angels, Paolo Nutini, Kings of Leon, Iggy and the Stooges, !!!, Peter, Bjorn and John, My Morning Jacket, Modest Mouse, Café Tacuba, TV on the Radio and Pearl Jam all in the same day!? WTF! I stopped crying, picked up a highlighter and marked which bands I 100% had to see and I just went for it. Heres what I saw
Rodrigo y Gabriela The Mexican guitar duo who moved to Ireland (that makes no sense but its true) were AMAZING. One guy, one girl, two guitars, INSANE!
Amy Winehouse I, like the rest of the crowd, was afraid she wasnt going to show up. Let me tell you something, this bitch is the best thing since sliced bread. I swear to god that if Amy Winehouse is able to keep her sobriety in check, she could be the next Barbara Streisand or Celine Dion or some other female singer who plays in front of millions and makes billions of dollars. The only difference would be that Amy is totally cool and those other chicks are not. Her voice is off the chain and her little shimmy, shimmy, shake dance moves are super cute. Shell need to work on her crowd interaction but that comes with time. The only question is whether or not this girl wants to be a superstar because shes got all the tools.
Paolo Nutini This kid just brings it! At only 19 years of age, this kid from Scotland writes the most perfect pop rock songs. The crowd was packed with women swooning over his good looks and dudes actually singing along (most likely to impress the chicks but singing, nonetheless.) Hes going out on tour with Ms. Winehouse and together the two might just take over the world.
Kings of Leon There are a lot of reasons that I want to hate these guys. Theyre young, cocky, good looking, talented
DAMN THEM! Additionally, I will go on record as saying that their skinny jeans are the single worse accessory I have ever seen on a band. Having said all that, they couldnt rock any harder. They just write great rock and roll songs and when they perform live they just go all out every single time. A sponsorship from True Religion or Rock & Republic could make these guys the biggest band on the planet.
My Morning Jacket So good it hurts. Talent just oozes out of every pore of this band. I want to be in MMJ. Im not sure what I bring to the table because I have no musical ability whatsoever but maybe I could learn to play the triangle.
Pearl Jam I would be lying if I told you I could write a fair review about PJ because they are my favorite band of all-time. I dont really care for the fact that one of my heroes has turned into Sean Penn and uses concerts as his forum to speak on political matters (long gone are the days of climbing rafters and diving into the crowd) but that is his prerogative and based on crowd reaction, people obviously want to listen. To show my respect for Mr. Vedder I will not purchase gasoline from BP or Amoco (I cant remember why but he told me not to, so I wont.) Regardless, musically, they can do no wrong. Every show, in every city, in every country these guys give it their all, 100% of the time. They play hits, they play b-sides, they play covers and they all sound fabulous. I love this band and hope they continue playing for 30 more years because practically every other band I grew up with is gone.
I would like to take this opportunity to once again thank Titos Handmade Vodka and Vitamin Water for sponsoring my trip to Lollapalooza. They didnt actually pay me anything and they wont acknowledge the connnection but without them I wouldnt have made it through the weekend. I wanted to thank Camel and their fabulous product Camel Lights but I woke up Saturday and Sunday and couldnt breathe so Im pretty sure thats not good.
Chi-Tonw Tattoo Starts a Trend
Weve all heard stories about tattoos gone wrong. Perhaps its the Kanji tattoo thats suppose to mean strength, but really means rainbow kisser or, even worse, its a misspelled word in English. When Michael Duplessis walked into Sam Hackers tattoo shop in Chicago, he was looking to represent his beloved city by getting Chi-Town tattooed on his chest. He walked, out however, repping a place called Chi-Tonw.
Now Duplessis is suing the business and the tattoo artist for monetary damages in the 2005 mess after suffering what he says in his lawsuit was "emotional distress from public ridicule."
"It was so embarrassing," Duplessis, 40, said Thursday from his home on the Northwest Side. "It was on my chest, and it was spelled wrong. I had to deal with all the people teasing me about it."
The artist made a mistake and he was sued; it probably happens all the time, right? What is really interesting about this story is what happened next. In a show of solidarity, several of Hackers friends started requesting Chi-Tonw tatts of their own. Soon, he had a mini-trend on his hands.
Several of Hacker's friends all got Chitonw tattoos together, and Hacker himself did as well, but it didn't stop there. After the Chicago Tribune wrote several stories on what some jokingly call "Chi-Tonw-gate," there was a groundswell of support. Strangers started dropping into Hackers's parlor to get their very own "Chi-Tonw" tattoos.
"They want it spelled wrong," said Hacker. "They insist on it. They want it spelled the right way, now is what we're saying. They want it spelled C-H-I-T-O-N-W."
Now in Chicago, there are "Chi-Tonw" T-shirts. Hacker's parents even have affixed a bumper sticker on the back of their Mini Cooper, which reads "Proud Parents of the Chi-Tonw Artist."
Still behind the times and not hip to the new trend, Mr. Duplessis has had his tattoo changed to the correct spelling. In my opinion, thats no way to promote The Widny City.
War Protester Does A Torch Impression and No Once Notices
A depressed war protester became so angry and discontent with America's invasion and post-invasion fucking up of Iraq, that he carefully planned to commit self-immolation as a form of public protest, Vietnam Buddhist monk style.
At 6:30 a.m. on Nov. 3 -- four days before an election caused a seismic shift in Washington politics-- Malachi Ritscher, a frequent anti-war protester, stood by an off-ramp in downtown Chicago near a statue of a giant flame, set up a video camera, doused himself with gasoline and lit himself on fire.
"Here is the statement I want to make: if I am required to pay for your barbaric war, I choose not to live in your world. I refuse to finance the mass murder of innocent civilians, who did nothing to threaten our country," he wrote in his suicide note. "... If one death can atone for anything, in any small way, to say to the world: I apologize for what we have done to you, I am ashamed for the mayhem and turmoil caused by my country."
You'd think such a extreme form of protest might even make 5 minutes worth of news? Nah!! It's way more important we know who Britney is paling around with now.
Ritscher envisioned his death as one full of purpose. He carefully planned the details, mailed a copy of his apartment key to a friend, created to-do lists for his family. On his Web site, the 52-year-old experimental musician who'd fought with depression even penned his obituary.
There was only one problem: No one was listening.
It took five days for the Cook County medical examiner to identify the charred-beyond-recognition corpse. Meanwhile, Ritscher's suicide went largely unnoticed. It wasn't until a reporter for an alternative weekly, the Chicago Reader, pieced the facts together that word began to spread.
This may have been a man who suffered with depression, as many who commit suicide also suffer from. But a suicide as a form of protest is still a protest. The media has always played a crucial role in a country where forward progress is usually the result of public dissent and protest. It's a true fucking shame when the media fails to do their part of the job.
At least I know Britney is doing well hanging out with Paris Hilton after her divorce.
Source: Editor and Publisher
Renegade Holiday Show
Midwestern crafters who missed out on being a part of Renegade Craft Fair in Chicago earlier this year have another chance. A Renegade Craft Fair just in time for the holiday season was recently announced. Applications are being accepted until November 1st, so get to it! The show will take place over the weekend of December 9th, hopefully not outdoors.
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Be sure to check back at the Renegade website for applications and more info.
Renegade Chicago, This Sept. 16
Chicagoans, brace yourselves. Renegade Craft Fair is the midwest's one-stop for handmade, unusual and DIY crafts and art, and is kicking off its fourth year running this September 16th and 17th. With over 180 vendors, the show will guarantee first-rate handmade by some of the best crafters, printmakers and artists from Chicago and beyond.
Psst! Out-of-towners, get your holiday shopping done early with website shopping enabled crafters c/o the 2006 Renegade vendor list.
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Visit the site for full details on attending the show this upcoming weekend; the fest takes place in Wicker Park off N. Damen Ave., from 11am - 6pm.
Winggirl Needed for Introverted Guy at Bars
Today I wish the SuicideGirls were a league of super heroines saving men with their own brand of sex appeal, tattoos in the place of capes and piercings as their utility belt. Okay, well--I wish that everyday, but today especially because theres a man out there, ladies, and he needs your help. It appears that a hapless soul in Chicago has decided that the quickest way to a womans heart is through...another womans heart. This Maverick is looking for a wingwoman to help melt the Ice, Man.
The ad in its entirety as extracted from the Chicago Reader Classifieds:
Winggirl needed for introverted guy at bars
posted 08/25/2006
Here's the deal: I don't want to date you, have sex with you or even kiss or hug you.
I want you to hang out with me at bars and talk me up to other girls so I break the ice with them. Whenever I'm out with females, random girls feel so much more comfortable in talking to me.
The only requirements are that you are attractive and personable. Age doesn't even matter, so long as you're over 21. I'm 27, 5'9, 135 lb; but even having an attractive confident 40 yr old talking me up would be superb.
If you like, I'll give you my cellphone number and home address so you know my details; but I don't need to even know your last name. We'll arrange by email or cellphone to meet in a bar, and at the end of it I'll pay you $45/hr. In addition to this, if I meet a girl through you who I end up going on at least 5 dates with, I'll give you $1000.
If there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable in doing this, I'm all open to ideas. Obviously I'll pay for all drinks, tips, meals, concert tickets, etc.
When I showed this ad to a girl, her immediate response was, Whats wrong with him, doesnt he have any girl friends who can help him? The truth is, he probably does. Its just that when girls try to hook up boys with other girls, they always try to hook up boys with their slightly less attractive friends.
This guys spin adds the hint of an employer/employee dynamic to the relationship, so when he says, What about Carrie? and you reply, What about Gertie? he can reply, Do you want forty five fucking bucks an hour or what?! Now, go talk to Carrie!
Please Ladies, if you live in the Lincoln Park area, this man needs your help. It's $45/hour!
Lassoo up some love!
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Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind
The Neofuturists are a Chicago-based troupe of writers and performers who indulge their audience in a fast-paced variety performance titled Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind consisting of 30 plays in 60 minutes every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. Visitors are given a menu of titles to choose from, and within the time frame, call out the number of the performance they want to see next. All 30 plays will be performed, hopefully under 60 minutes. When the show is sold out, the Neo-Futurists celebrate by ordering one pizza cut into a billion slices for the audience to share at the end of the show.
The plays range from avant garde and conceptual theater to comedy sketches, political monologues, and bizarre audience interaction. Sound like fun? Get there early. Each weekend, the menu is revised, so you can expect a completely new crop of performances every couple months.
Photo Location: The Neo-Futurists pulling numbers down from the clothesline as the corresponding play is performed.
Logistics: All shows will be performed at The Neo-Futurarium, 5153 N. Ashland @ Foster. Click here for directions and a map. Tickets are $7 + ($1 times the roll of a single six-sided die) or $8 - $13, depending on your luck. Showtimes:Friday nights at 11:30pm (doors open at 11:00), Saturday nights at 11:30pm (doors open at 11:00), Sunday nights at 7:00pm (doors open at 6:30), 50 weeks a year! (We take off the very last two weekends of December each year.)
For those outside Chicago, order Neo-Futurists stuff online including books of collected plays, monologues and audio recordings. And check out NPR's This American Life episode, inspired by the format of the Neo-Futurists' signature show.
Pop Star Set to Potentially Destroy Broadway Classic
In an completely inexplicable move, producers offered lip-syncing marvel Ashlee Simpson the role of Roxie Hart in the Broadway and London casts of perennial stage favorite, Chicago. While Simpson has no theater experience, she did have a couple of guest appearances on the sappy family television program, 7th Heaven, and a memorable performance on Saturday Night Live. A Simpson source claimed Ashlee will take the role.
She will probably choose London, says the source, who adds that she would start in October.
A Chicago rep refused to confirm if Simpson accepted the offer, but this could be a career-making role for the pop singer--Renee Zellweger received an Oscar nomination for the role in the 2002 film adaptation.
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T-Shirt Deli: Made Fresh Daily
Chicago's T-shirt Deli whips up custom shirts with a side of chips. Pick your article of clothing (women, men, babies, kids and dogs are all invited), choose your old school style iron-on lettering, type in your phrase and there you have it: a fresh, tasty t-shirt of your very own.
We searched far and wide for gleaming white deli cases, rolls of perfectly waxed butcher paper, brightly colored stickers, and open-air wicker baskets to display our freshest selection of tees. We selected homegrown American Apparel brand shirts, and started to stock as many font choices and colors as cheeses in a New York deli.
For those outside the windy city, you can still dish up your own T-shirt Deli t-shirt on the web, but they may not mail the chips.
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T-Shirt Deli is located at 1739 Damen Ave, Chicago, IL 60647, near the Damen stop on the blue line. For more info, check out the website.