For this month's Miss Truth Hurts column SuicideGirls has teamed up with the folks behind the new romantic comedy Spread to bring you questions and advice inspired by the film.

Spread stars Ashton Kutcher who plays Nikki, a charming freeloader, who trades his sexual prowess for the financial advantages ladies of a certain age and position can provide. As the film heats up, Nikki gets caught in a love/lust triangle between Samantha (Anne Heche), a mature woman with a sleek car, beautiful property and a well balanced portfolio, and Heather (Margarita Levieva), a hot young waitress who may just end up beating him at his own game.



Here's some nuggets of advice that the three leading characters in the film could do with swallowing:


Q: I used to do bar work and wait tables, but now get by thanks to the significantly richer partners I date. No money changes hands, but I make sure all my bills get paid. Does this make me a whore? And isn't everyone to some extent? There's always some kind of a trade off in a relationship right? Do you think there's anything wrong with seeking relationships based on money rather than this abstract and unreliable feeling we call love?

A: I just finished co-writing porn star Tera Patrick's memoir, Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love, Marriage & Porn (shameless self-plug: out Jan. 5 via Gotham/Penguin), and she talks about this very subject. To paraphrase her, she says, "We're all 'hos on this bus, whether you're a porn star, a prostitute, a stripper, or a girl dating a rich guy who buys her things." Everyone is a whore in some way at some point in their life, whether it's whoring your talent or skills out to the corporate man for a nice salary or accepting an expensive dinner date from a guy you don't really like, we've all been there. But, true love is amazing and having a fulfilling career where you can support yourself is equally as satisfying, so don't give up on that too soon. It's not as abstract and unreliable as you think.


Q: I'm looking for the perfect pick up line to hone my dating technique. My buddy Nikki says there's only on pick up line, “Hi, what’s your name?” and that everything else is cheese. What do you think?

A: Remember what I said about everyone's a whore at some point in their life in the first question above? Well, I'm a plug whore right now. Go ahead and send hate mail. I don't care. The, "Hi, what's your name?" line is an example I actually have in my book, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick and a Hotter Girlfriend and to Living Life Like a Rock Star, and it truly is the simplest, most charming, and honest way to meet someone. Try it and you'll see.


Q: I've heard that you should never show a woman that you’re impressed since it lowers your market value. The strategy works really well for my pal Nikki. Why do women go for men who pull these kind of mind games?

A: I hate to admit it and it's shameful to my gender, but the truth is, yes, it does work. Why do women like guys who act like they don't give a damn? It's because most women love a challenge and think they can turn a bad boy good. So, if you're not interested, she will try harder to make you interested whether she really likes you or just wants to prove she can turn a negative into a positive. But, think of it this way: Do you really want a woman like this?


Q: My sometime roommate is a bar crawling philosopher. He says, “When a girl tells you that you're not getting any before you ask, before you even try, it means you’re getting some.” Do you agree?

A: Uh, sometimes no means no. If a woman says "no way" right away, you are probably not even on a real date with her. That said, most women love being pursued and seduced, so there is always room for that "no" to turn into a "yes" if you make the right moves. There is an art to seduction.


Q: My friend has this point system theory: 1 for flowers, 2 for dinner, 3 for an orgasm. He figures you need to get 12 points in the love bank before a woman will trust you -- then you can go back to watching football. Do you think this is wrong, right, cynical, or all of the above?

A: First of all, if you're with a girl who doesn't let you watch football or join you at a game now and then, you're with a bitch. Second, lose the point system. It's a wee bit immature and frat-boy-ish.


Q: I've just turned 40 and am attracted to younger men, who always end up leaving me for younger women. Some might call me a cougar, but do you think I'm really the immature one here since I'm unable to find happiness with men my own age?

A: If you want hot sex only, keep dating the young studs. If you want a real relationship, date someone on your own level and that usually (emphasis on usually) means someone with similar life experiences, who's in the same place in life that you are, and, yes, who is within five years of your age either way. There's nothing immature about dating younger. What you need to think about is what you want: fun, sexy flings or a serious commitment.


Q: I'm considering vaginal rejuvenation to keep my younger man happy in bed. What's your advice? Should I go for it? My doctor tells me I'll be out of action for five days, but it'll be "well worth the wait."

A: If you can afford it and have thoroughly done your research on doctors, then go for it! But, don't do it for your younger man. Do it for yourself. And, ask yourself this question: if your man did NOT want you to do it, would you still do it? If the answer is no, then you're doing it for the wrong reason. You're a brave woman to even consider it. Ouch!


Q: Often I can envision my future with a girl before they cum. Then afterwards I just want them to stop touching me. Do you think there's something wrong with me?

A: You're fucked up, my friend. See a shrink.



Spread opens on August 14. Go to Spread-TheMovie.com for more info.

Got a line that's guaranteed to open more than a conversation that you'd like to share with the world? Do you have a unique angle on how to turn a casual encounter into something more special and/or useful? Text the word "SPREAD" and your pickup tip to 878787 and have it show up on digital billboards nationwide. Alternatively, you can go to Spread-TheMovie.com and click on the “Express Yourself” link to spread your relationship wealth and read advice left by others.

Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your foot fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Need some Gotha Stewart home-ec advice for your next soiree? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com.

Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.

We won't use your name, just the city you're writing from.


Q: I've been with my boyfriend for just two years and things are slowing down. We don't have sex as much. We don't make-out that often. He doesn't get hard at the mere thought of me like he used to. We just don't seem to have that spark we used to. But, we don't fight. We get along and love each other, it's just that gotten dull and routine.

-Bored in Brooklyn

A: Here's your chemistry lesson for the day: When we embark on a new relationship our brains release endorphins that give us a feeling of being high on love. It's why, when we first hook-up with a new love interest, we want to have sex all the time, get hard or wet at the mere thought of our partners, and our hearts literally skip a beat every time he/she walks in the room. From a biological standpoint, that can't last forever. If you're lucky it'll last around a year, but for most this stage lasts just a few months. Just accept that as fact. The feelings we associate with the first stages of love are merely the result of an endorphin brain bath.

Once the bath runs dry, and this initial stage is over, you'll need to put a little more work in to keep your love life afloat. Instead of wondering why you're not stimulated by the slightest touch or glance, you need to create stimulating situations. It's time to step it up. Maybe he was excited at the sight of you in a tank top and his boxer briefs, but 18 months on that's probably not going to cut it anymore. Try something sexier (lingerie), kinkier (a dominatrix outfit) or go the fantasy route (naughty school girl outfits always do the trick). Put some spontaneity into your bag of tricks. I'm sure he'll get hard if you go down on him while he's driving or offer him a little al fresco fun (though the police may not be so keen on either of these suggestions, a little risk goes a long way). Or try a make-out session in the closet of your home and pretend you're kids playing "7 Minutes in Heaven." Give him a message with a happy ending. Go for a quickie. Do anything new! Mix it up!



Q: My boyfriend cheated on me once early in our relationship. It was technically before we made it exclusive and before we told each other "I love you." I just found out about it now, a year into our relationship. I never mistrusted him before, but now that I found out it's all I can think about. How do I get past this?

-Scorned in San Francisco

A: Technically, you weren't exclusive so it's not cheating. It's as simple as that. Sure, it hurts, but get over it. If you can't forgive him and move on, then get out now. You're going to make yourself and him miserable if you hang onto this forever.



Q: My girlfriend looks like a SuicideGirl and I love her look. She gets dressed up in her sexy little outfits every time we go out and spends hours doing her hair and makeup. But, when it's just her and I, she often wears no makeup and doesn't dress up. It feels like she's putting on a show for everyone else, and doesn't care how she looks around me. Shouldn't she want to impress me too? WTF?

-Pissed in Pomona, Calif.

A: Yeah, I agree to an extent. She should try to look her best for you too. We should never let ourselves go just because we're comfortable in a relationship. That's when bad things happen. But, cut her some slack. Women also want our guys to love us for just us and be okay if we have a day when our hair is in a ponytail and we're in just jeans and a t-shirt. Don't be so superficial, dude! Even glamour girls deserve a day off.



Q: I go to Comic-Con in San Diego in July every year, and every year I dress up. I have a great Spock costume, but this is her first time going and she doesn't want me to dress up. She says she won't go if I dress up. She thinks it's embarrassing. What should I do?

-Cuckoo for Comic-Con in Los Angeles

A: Dump that bitch! How dare she try to take away your fun? It doesn't sound like this girl is a good match for you. Find a girl who will dress up with you and be proud to play Uhura to your Spock.



Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your foot fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Need some Gotha Stewart home-ec advice for your next soiree? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com.

Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.

We won't use your name, just the city you're writing from.


Q: I've been on and off with my boyfriend for five years. We'll have this massive break-up, be apart for weeks, and then fall right back in love with each other again. I know he loves me, but we go through this back and forth too often and it's exhausting. WTF is our deal?

-Chaotic in El Paso, Texas

A: Chaos indeed! The first thing that comes to mind is maybe you're both addicted to the adrenaline of this dramatic relationship. Most drama queens (and kings) aren't even aware that they love the dramatic ups and downs of a back and forth relationship. Ask yourself: Do you get bored if things aren't chaotic? Do you love making up more than you love it when things are smooth sailing? Is your life otherwise boring and you crave some excitement? Do you get excited when your blood boils? Does it make you feel, er, alive? If you answered mostly yes, then you might just be addicted to drama. Try this: Next time you have a blow-up with your boy, don't go for the break-up card. Take a breather, collect yourself, and talk out the problem calmly.


Q: My man watches a lot of porn and it's beginning to creep me out. I catch him watching it on his computer when he doesn't think I'm noticing. It's like he has this other life or something. I don't want to be a prude, but why does he need porn if he has a girlfriend?

-Creeped out in Calabasas, Calif.

A: Embrace the porn! It could be fun. Scratch that advice if it's child porn, bestiality, or if your man only likes man-on-man movies. Otherwise, why not give it a shot? You might just find out that it turns you on and will enhance your sex life with your man. Besides, to be truly intimate and close, a guy shouldn't feel like he has to hide things from his girlfriend. The more he makes porn his dirty little secret, the more distance there will be between the two of you. Who knows? Porn might just teach you new trick or two!


Q: It upsets me when my boyfriend doesn't call me back or text me back fast enough -- which happens quite a lot. I don't know if I'm just being needy or paranoid or if something is going on. He'll go a full day before getting back to me sometimes. And, this happens at least once a week. What do you make of it?

-Anxious in Ann Arbor, Mich.

A: I can't believe I'm going to say such a cliché, but it sounds oh so true in your situation ... He's just not that into you! Move on.


Q: My boyfriend has a friend staying with him on his couch. He was supposed to only crash for a few weeks, but it's been a few months. I can't spend any alone time with him at his place because the friend is always there. I've complained to my boyfriend about this but he's not doing anything about it. I feel like I need to tell my boyfriend it's time for the freeloader to go.

-Sick of it in Saratoga Springs

A: Be careful or it might be you who your boyfriend kicks out. It's not for you to say how long your boyfriend's friend gets to crash. It's your boyfriend's deal, not yours. You don't want to be the nagging girlfriend telling him what to do. If you were living together, that's one thing. But, you're not. So, shut the hell up about it, since, unless its a serious and solid relationship, most guys will put bros before hos.




Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your foot fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Need some Gotha Stewart home-ec advice for your next soiree? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com.

Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.

We won't use your name, just the city you're writing from.


Q: I've had my dog Sweetie for three years. I've had my boyfriend for six months. I love my dog. I love my BF. My BF doesn't love my dog. And my dog positively loathes my BF. We were in bed the other night and Sweetie bit him in the ass at the most inopportune moment. BF says, "Sweetie goes or I go." I'm leaning towards keeping Sweetie but my friends say I'm nuts. The BF is gorgeous, talented, brave, sober, well-off, and worships the ground I walk on. Sweetie? He's truly been my best friend. What would you do?

-Sad in Seattle

A: Dogs over dudes my friend. Dogs are more loyal, loving, and faithful, and generously lavish their owners with affection. They come when they're called, they like to spoon and cuddle, and they always stay the night. And, let's not forget dogs are a good judge of character. If your dog is not digging your dude, then maybe he's onto something. I would trust your companion's instincts on this one instead of your hormones. And, besides, if the guy really loved you, he wouldn't ask you to make this heart-breaking choice. What kind of guy makes his girl get rid of something she loves? Especially a little pooch?! A good guy and a true animal lover would never put you in this position, and his ultimatum shows what kind of person he really is. Put your beau up for adoption and tell your girlfriends to stop thinking so desperately.


Q: My significant other and I are really oral and I have recently introduced him to toys and that's all good. But, he got a flavored gel that gets hot when you blow on it and I can't stand that sensation! He, however, seems to love it. How do I break it to him that I am hot and tingly enough down there without killing his recent excitement about using this stuff?

-Burning in Bellefonte

A: No boy is worth burning your beaver for! Tell your man that while you love the idea of a fun, flavored gel, that the specific gel he picked out is just cooking your coochie too much and you'd like to try another. There are hundreds of choices when it comes to gels, lubes, and oils. Go to a sex store with him and pick up a bunch of those small sample size gels for a buck or two and see what works best for you. If he's stuck on the brand and flavor that he bought, then just use it on him for hand jobs, titty fucks, and, if it's edible, BJs.


Q: Does a good sense of humor really matter if the guy is ugly?

-Overly Worried in Overland Park, Kansas

A: Of course it does! Look at all the not-so-handsome funnymen who land hot babes. Take David Spade for instance. He's short, not Hollywood-handsome by any stretch of the imagination, and has hooked up with some of the most beautiful women in the world, such as Heather Locklear, Pamela Anderson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Nicollette Sheriden, and countless Playboy Playmates. Sure, he has money, but those hotties do too, so it's clearly the sense of humor that got the gals hitting the sheets with this frumpy funnyman.


Q: I am a 32-year-old woman engaged to a 26-year-old man. Things are not smooth sailing. I have a 13-year-old and a 9-year-old and they always come first. My kids are very attached to my fiancé, but I'm afraid if I marry him I'll never be happy. If I say black, he says white. I don't know what to do.

-Torn in Toronto

A: Just like couples shouldn't "stay together for the kids," you can't marry a guy just because your kids like him. It will do them no service to have to witness an unhappy relationship day in-day out. Break it off now before you're in too deep.


Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your foot fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Need some Gotha Stewart home-ec advice for your next soiree? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts. We won't use your name, just the city you're writing from.


Q: I received a bottle of black vodka as a gift and heard there is a cool way to mix drinks with it, but every time I try my drinks look like a murky mess. Is there a trick to it?

-Cocktailing in Connecticut

A: I often serve black vodka to my guests. My favorite brand is from England and is called Blavod. There actually is a trick to mixing up cocktails so that they don't look come out all murky. Three tricks actually. 1. Keep the vodka at room temperature. Do not refrigerate it. It keeps it thicker and helps with the layering effect that makes for a cool looking cocktail. 2. You must pour the drink in this order: ice first, juice and/or mixer second, and then you pour in the black vodka very slowly so it almost drips into the glass. 3. Don't stir or shake the drink. If you do it this way, you will get the desired layered effect instead of a dirty looking mess of a drink. If you want a drink that looks half blood red and half black, try my Cherry Bomb Martini. It's 1 shot of pink lemonade, 1/2 shot of pomegranate juice, 1 shot of Blavod, and a cherry on top. It's quite an eye pleaser.


Q: I am looking for a good strapon to get my girlfriend to use on me, I am a male. I was wondering what is the best way to introduce the concept to her.

-Curious in New England

A: Ohh, you naughty boy. I love it! She can either be into it or absolutely appalled by it, so ease into the topic as slowly as you'd like her to ease into you when the time cums. If she's never been to your backend, you need to introduce her to it first in a less threatening way than presenting her with a 12-inch cock she's to strap on. Next time you guys are fooling around, you can take her hand and put it on your chocolate starfish. It's all about baby steps here. It's like taking out a bike on training wheels before you try for the big ol' 10-speed. Once she's game for that, introduce a butt plug for yourself and see if she gasps or if she's cool. Once she passes those tests, then shop for a strap on together and you'll be her Backdoor Sally in no time! A great buy is the Purple Penetrator Strap-On that Madonna was seen buying in London a few years ago.


Q: I find myself attracted to other men, but I'm a happily married woman. I don't want to cheat, but I'm not sure about swinging either. Any insight on this topic?

-Restless in Rhode Island

A: Yes! Actually Terri Nunn of Berlin ("Sex (I'm A...)") talked about this topic in my book Cherry Bomb, so I'll let her answer this one. Terri wrote, "There's no question you're going to be attracted to others during your main relationship. What works for me and my man is an agreement we have: If either one of us just can't stand it and we just have to have someone else we've met, then we can...once. We have to tell each other first and get the other's ok first too. This agreement has made us both feel like our marriage isn't a cage. Neither one of us has acted on it yet. In almost 10 years of togetherness, I've been close a couple of times but didn't follow through and don't regret it. I know this wouldn't work for everyone but it does for us. The important thing is making an agreement of some kind. If there isn't one, infidelity is more likely to happen. When a man cheated on me, the hardest part was the trust he betrayed. That old saying is true: Trust is hard to get and even harder to get back. Without trust, there's no relationship."



Q: What is the proper etiquette of Twitter?
-Tweeting in Tennessee

A: We asked SG's Twitter posse to help out with this question:

@phronk says:

And @ArmOfCrass would agree:

(Twitter CEO Evan Williams echoed this sentiment in SG's recent interview.)


@butterfest is another tweeter that advocates a general free-for-all:

And @lovehysteric keeps it brief when she says:

But @bairdduvessa would disagree:

Other 'guidelines' might include:

#1 from @clallseven

#2 from @Bobsuicide

#3 from @Reidsui

#4 from @inkedveggie

#5 from @jonincalgary

#6 from @kitchelfilms

#7 from @Bugzyblue

#8 from @SnapshotAbee

#9 from @atomicant

#10 from @immortalrevenge

Finally, here are our favorite 'What Not To Do's' on Twitter that people have actually done:

#1 Don't TWI -- tweet while intoxicated, on hallucinogenic drugs, or wired. You'll make a total fool out of yourself, and end up annoying people.

#2 Don't breast-feed and drive while tweeting.

#3 Don't tweet something like "I hate my boss!" Your boss is likely following you and it could have consequences.

#4 Don't think that everything you do is interesting. Eating cereal is not Twitter-worthy unless you're Michael Phelps and you say you're eating it because you're high. Oh, wait, that goes against rule # 1. Well, strictly speaking, there are no rules, so Tweet your little fingers off and follow us at @SuicideGirls.




Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Miss Truth Hurts is taking a mini break from the usual sex, relationship, and bitchy girl dilemmas that have been rolling in since this column started just a wee four months ago. In this month's posts, we're looking the recession beast in the eyes and saying, "Fuck you!"

In the first installment of this two part recession special, I offered tips on how to make Valentine's Day a cheap date, how to cut down expenses without downsizing your life, and how to not get fired. Additionally my buddy wiL Francis told bands how to tour on the cheap. In part two, we rock out (and work out) a champagne party on a beer budget. Next month, we'll resume to our regularly scheduled programming of love, lust, relationships, and life enigmas.

Q: I can't afford my gym membership anymore. What are some good options other than running around my neighborhood, which is not very safe?

-Working it out in Wisconsin

A: Cancel that gym membership, for sure! There are so many cheaper and more fun ways to work out than sweating next to some muscle-heads in a meat market. Use the great outdoors for your exercise: hike, use parks that have jungle gyms or stairs to run around on, go to donation-only yoga classes, and, my favorite, buy a small $50 mini trampoline and bounce your way to a tighter ass. You can pick up yoga and workout DVDs and small free weights for under $10 at Target as well.


Q: I can't afford to shop for new clothes, so how can I reinvent my wardrobe and keep up with the trends without buying new stuff?

-Style Starved in Seattle

A: You might not need to cut out shopping entirely. The 99 Cent stores have colored and black tights, which are very fashionable right now. You can make an old dress look fresh by wearing a cool pair of tights with them. Stores like Forever 21 and Target have great deals, especially their sales racks, as do yard sales and Good Will or Salvation Army stores.

But, if you really want to keep away from the stores, do a clothes swap party with your friends. This is how it works: whoever shows up to the party first, gets to choose first. So make a list of the order once everyone arrives. You hang up or spread out all of the clothes, shoes, accessories that people brought and if the first person brought five of her own garments, then she is allowed to choose five garments from the selection. If the second person only brought one item, then she is allowed to take only one item, and so on. It's a great way to recycle your old stuff and get new stuff for free!

You can also revamp your existing wardrobe by dying some clothes a different color with Rit Dye. I do it all the time. I take my dingy white tank tops and dye them the hot new hue of purple. I also took my dated boot-leg jeans and cut them into cute shorts, which, of course, are so en vogue.


Q: I have no extra money for entertainment these days. What are some cheap ways to have fun?

-Partying in Pasadena, Calif.

A: Have more parties at your apartment or house and make everyone bring something to eat or drink. You can do a girlie at-home spa day where everyone does each other's nails or if you need your hair dyed, you get a great bottle of L'Oreal's Feria color at the store (my fave brand) and have a "Dye and Drink" party. It saves big time on going to a salon for a mani/pedi or dye job, and it's fun. And, did you know that you can borrow movies for free from the library? Or check out, documentary-film.net, which has a ton of amazing -- and enlightening -- films for free. If you don't need to go that cheap, then invest in NetFlix. It's worth the admission.

But, my favorite cheap thrills are games. Screw Pictionary and Trivia Pursuit. Get saucy with it and play games like "What the F#*k," which asks naughty questions like, "Would you rather suck face with the person to the right of you or the person to the left of you?" Or rock it old school with games like Truth or Dare, 7 Minutes in Heaven, or 20 Questions. Wanna have fun out of the house? Some museums are free at certain times, such as LACMA in L.A., which has a Pay What You Wish (which can be gratis) program after 5 p.m.



Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.



Q: My boyfriend cheated on me three times, but I love him and he's a better boyfriend after each time he cheats. His apologies always get me, but then he does it again. We live together and he seems to really need and love me. But, how do I get him not to cheat?

-Cheated on in California


A: Are you serious? Three times? Dump the dude! And get some therapy. Code word: Co-Dependency!



Q: Aside from ad spaces on blogs and using my non-existent contacts in the literary industry, how can I get a gig doing freelance non-fiction essays for publications like The New Yorker or even get a column like you?

-Troubled in Tampa


A: Buy this book: 2009 Writer's Market This was my Bible when I started out. It lists every publication and gives explicit instructions on how to approach them for work. Follow what they say to the T. The book also has examples of query letters and other useful information on breaking into magazines, newspapers, and books. It's mostly for writers, but photographers can use it for the contact info as well. Other than that, I say, write every day like Hunter S. Thompson did. You need to hone your craft and get published a LOT before you will ever be considered for a column. You should offer up your stuff for free at the beginning just to get a collection of clips for your portfolio. Once you get good clips, then start to sell your work. It's exactly what I did.



Q: I'm interested in being a freelance photo journalist so any advice or help you can offer would be greatly appreciated!

-Occupationally Challenged in the O.C.


A: The answer for Troubled in Tampa works for you too. But you should also shoot as much as you can and submit your stuff per the Writer's Market guidelines. If it's bands you want to shoot, you can start with small, local bands that will let you shoot and possibly even want to use your images for their websites and/or press kits.



Q: Is it true that you can have an orgasm without even touching? If so, how do it you do it?

-Curious in Colorado


A: I'm going to let one of my favorite sexperts answer this one for you. In my book, contributor Dr. Ava Cadell refers to it as the “Mind Over Body Orgasm” and apparently it works for some women. She writes: "Since the brain is the most erotic organ in the body, it should be no surprise that you can think your way to orgasm. Sexual thoughts can activate the brain just like sexual touching does. If you've ever enjoyed looking at porn, you'll know what I'm talking about. Visuals of people having sex can automatically trigger your body into a state of arousal, making women wet and giving men erections. If you continued to watch erotica without touching yourself, you could still experience a full-blown orgasm. Even if you're not into porn, you can achieve a mind over body orgasm by tapping into all of your five senses. To begin, wet your genitals with your own saliva or some lubricant, and then using only your imagination; think about what your lover's tongue would feel like between your legs. What he or she smells like when fully aroused, visualize what they look like naked, imagine touching, kissing, licking and tasting his or her body. Hear them moaning with pleasure. Become aware of your own feelings as you let your excitement build. The trick here is not to touch yourself, but to let the ebb and flow of your orgasm take you on a mental journey to sexual ecstasy. This can also be fun to do with a partner as a safe sex activity."




Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.



Q: Your book is the reason that I recently got backstage and on the tour bus of one my favorite bands after a concert. This resulted in me hooking up and exchanging numbers with the frontman. He said he would call me the next time he was in town, which would be in about a month. Regardless, he told me that he wanted me to call him sometime and gave me a heart shaped locket before we parted. Should I call him or wait and see if he ever calls me or realize that this was a one-time opportunity and enjoy it for what it was?

-Not Sure in New England


A: Be bold and go for it! He gave you his number so use it. And, he gave you a locket?!? Wow. Sweet. That doesn't say "one time opportunity" to me. Call him and try your best to be cool, casual, and confident. But, keep your expectations low. The number could be a fake one or he might not even remember you. Maybe he gives lockets away to pretty girls like one gives quarters away to bums. You won't know until you call him. Good luck!



Q: I'm 19-years-old and have been with my boyfriend for over a year and half. We plan on getting married someday in the future, but we're not rushing anything because I'm young. The problem I have is with our sex life. I've never had an orgasm and he doesn't seem concerned with giving me one. He refuses to go down on me, he complains of "the flood," and doesn't really bother doing anything else. I enjoy sex, but I 'm just never fulfilled. What should we do differently?

-Unsatisfied in Florida


A: There are so many things wrong with this relationship I don't know where to start! First, 17 or 18 is too young to have met the man you're going to marry. Just trust me on that. Second, he won't go down on you? Fuck that shit. That point is dump-worthy alone. Third, and most important, if your boyfriend is not concerned with your needs then he is not a good boyfriend and won't be a good husband. That said, I didn't have my first orgasm until my twenties (sorry to all the boyfriends I faked it with!), so 19 isn't too weird to be in this situation. You need to learn to make yourself come first before anyone else can do it. Teach him what gets you off, and if he can't rise to the occasion there are tons of other men out there that I'm sure would love to fuck, lick, and suck the hell out of you.



Q: My boyfriend of three years doesn't want to have sex nearly as much as I do. I am 20-years-old and I think sex should be at least every other day. We used to have sex once or twice a day. I know most people would be happy with just that, but I'm simply not. My boyfriend is only 23, he should be all about sex right now! I know as he gets older its only going to happen less and less. I would resort to masturbation but it just never seems to be enough unless I have sex. I have mentioned maybe me getting a girlfriend (I'd fly both ways), but that resulted in a basic, "Hell no." What should I do??

-Sex Deprived in Sarasota


A: If you want to fly both ways, you need a man who is cool with that. He isn't cool with that and he's denying both who you are and what you need sexually. And, what guy wouldn't want two girls?! A gay guy, for one. A dud in bed, for another. Or, maybe your boyfriend just needs more encouragement. Tell him how hot he makes you. Tell him how great he is in bed, even if he isn't. Send sexy texts. I wouldn't break up with a guy if the only issue was that we only had sex twice a week. Twice a week is pretty damn good, girl. But, if he can't keep up with a sex vixen like you, it might be time to find a stud who can.



Q: I recently met two girls who play in a band together. I saw them perform and had great conversations with both of them. They are smart, sexy, and extremely talented. As of now I like them both. I would date/hook-up with either of them. I just would love to know how to express that I want to get to know both of them better (so I can decide which one to pursue) without putting out that "just friends" vibe or an obvious "I want you" vibe. How should I proceed?

-Confused in Connecticut


A: Whatever you do, don't flirt with or hit on both girls. You'll look like a male groupie and you'll end up with neither girl. Go to another show, have another conversation with each of the girls, and quickly decide which one you have more chemistry with and more in common with. Once you've zeroed in on the rock chick you're vibing with the most, ask her out. It's that simple.




Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.



Q: I get depressed or just low around the holidays. I don't know why. What can I do to snap out of it?

— Sad in Salt Lake City

A: First of all, it's really normal to get depressed around the holidays. There's a lot of stress with having to see family and attend parties that you might not want to go to and everyone else seems happy but you. I get it. I talked to Shirley Manson recently during an interview about depression a bit and she had some great advice on the topic.

The first thing she said was that we sometimes get caught up in our feelings, but feelings aren't necessarily the truth. For example, maybe you feel unloved or unwanted, but the truth is that you are not unloved. Your family loves you and wants you around. So the first thing to do when that dark cloud starts looming overhead is to really take stock of what you are feeling. Stop yourself and ask honestly if what you are upset or depressed about is your twisted take on things, or if it's really real.

Shirley Manson explained it best when she told me, "You can make your thoughts change. Someone once told me, 'Shirley your feelings are highjacking your brain. It's holding a gun against your head and you are paralyzed by your feelings. Nobody cares about your feelings. Your feelings don't mean shit.' And it took a mile for that penny to drop. And she's right. She said, 'You keep running up against the wall, banging your head against the wall, turning around and you're all bloody and you're wondering why nothing has changed. You need to change your mind and you need to walk behind the wall. Just change your mind, walk around the wall. The wall won't change. You change."

If that doesn't snap you out if, then Shirley Manson suggests this as one small step to feeling better: "Find what turns you on and do it. And maybe you don't know what turns you on and it's your job to figure that out. But the point is, do something."



Q: I'm recently sober, in AA, and I'm not comfortable going to parties yet and being around alcohol. It's especially hard with all of the holiday parties. Should I avoid the parties totally or go and just drink my soda or what?

— Sober in South Detroit

A: The holidays can be rough for sober people. I have a few in my life and for those who have sober long, it's not a problem. For those who are newly sober, it's a bit more difficult. I think you should talk to your AA sponsor about this for the best answer. In addition to that, maybe you can host your own sober holiday party with your AA buddies and other sober friends that you trust so you can still partake in the festivities without any fear. You can also find like-minded people with similar issues by joining SG's own Sobriety Group. Good luck!



Q: I want to buy my girlfriend a vibrator or something sexy for Christmas but I'm not really sure if she'll think it's selfish or what I should get. Any suggestions?

— Lusty in L.A.

A: Sex toys are great stocking stuffers! If you buy right, you'll soon you'll be stuffing more than her stocking! But, give her a romantic, sweet, cool, or cute gift too. If you just give her sex toys, she will have nothing to tell her family about!

Here are some ideas:

Sex Wear
My pal Tera Patrick has some cute lingerie and girlie Ts. You can order her Mistress Couture line HERE. The SuicideGirl's shop also has some seXXXy and fun bed and play attire.

Sex Games
Sexpert Dr. Ava Cadell's Tantric Lovers Game is a lot of fun. So is a good old-fashioned game of Twister, if you're wearing the right outfit –– or nothing at all. X-Rated Rules say: You get to lick whatever your tongue can hit!

Sex Toys
Guest SG columnist Margaret Cho is in love with her Hitachi Magic Wand, so if you're feeling generous you may want to give your girlfriend this Cadillac of vibrators, which Good Vibrations are selling for $52 right now. And for the cutest little vibrator of all, the small pink pocket rocket is the way to go (and a steal at under $10 on Amazon.com).



Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.


Q: Why do I always get into fights with my family around the holidays? I hate going back home sometimes and someone always ends up in tears. My family just doesn't get me. I'm the only one with funky hair, tattoos, and piercings and it's not like I expect my family to be like me, but I feel like they are so different and don't get me and maybe that is the reason we always get into fights. Ugh! I hate the holidays!

– Fearing Family in Fort Worth

A: USA Today recently published some statistics that stated, "Nearly 80% of adults say they had a holiday gathering ruined by a relative." The newspaper polled a bunch of people and they figured out that the top five reasons for family fighting during the festive days of December and January are these: rude behavior, children/parenting issues, alcohol influence, lifestyle differences, and other in laws. My point being - you are not alone.

Everyone has issues around the holidays. Don't beat yourself up over your past holiday problems. But, try to flip the script this time around. Keep those top 5 reasons in mind and try to nip it in the bud when one of those five is about to rear its ugly head.

If you're feeling angry, stop yourself before saying something rude. If you're drinking, stop yourself before you're a belligerent drunk who might say something you can't take back. Avoid talking about parenting philosophies, politics, religion, or sex. If you're lifestyle is different than your family, try not to make it an issue. Maybe you don't need to show off that new tattoo to Aunt Ethel who is horrified at the sight of inked skin. Don't tell Grandma about your new piercing. Never start a sentence with, "Well, we here in Texas don't do it that way." Never say, "You people just don't get it." Keep the snarky comments about your conservative brother's reindeer sweater to yourself, don't tell your pregnant sister how breeding just overpopulates the world, and wipe the smirk off your face when your church-going cousin insists on saying grace.

Just suck it up, ignore the differences, and get in the freakin' holiday spirit.


Q: My boyfriend gives me crappy gifts every Christmas and I feel like shit even saying that, but it's true. Is it a bad idea to just tell him what I want for Christmas? I don't want to sound materialistic or anything, but I'm sick of getting upset over the dumb stuffed animal he gets me or the necklace he thinks is nice but really isn't and then I have to wear it. How do I tell him what I really want?

– Unsatisfied in Utah


A: When you really think about your issues with presents, if you dig deep, what you're really upset about might be that you feel like your boyfriend doesn't really understand you or cares enough to figure out what you like. Right? So, forgo the actual gifts this year and instead ask him if he'd be into writing you a Christmas letter. And, you do the same. It's a great way to save money too and to get some romance going in the relationships. I did that with my husband one year and it was the best gift I ever got. Well, that and the $1,000 Christian Louboutin red-soled black patent leather pointy toe 6-inch pumps he got me for my birthday, but I digress... Anyway, try the letter thing and you might end up with the most romantic, thoughtful gift a girl could ever hope for and be the envy of all your friends.


Q: I pig out during the holidays and always gain about 10 lbs between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. I've already gained a few pounds after Thanksgiving and I don't want to gain more over the next holidays and I know I will. Got any good diet, exercise or will power tips?

– Piggy in Pennsylvania

A: There's time between now and Christmas dinner to lose those few Thanksgiving pounds, so get to work, girl! Hit the gym, drink tons of water, eat veggies, lean meats, and skip the heavy starches, sauces, creams, and desserts for a few weeks. But, once those holiday parties and dinners roll around and you're tempted by trays of Christmas bookies, candy canes, chocolate Santas, figgy pudding, and other sugary delights the holidays have to offer, it'll be hard to just say no. So, don't! Take one cookie, one spoonful of pudding, one bit of the chocolate Santa. Don't eat the whole thing, but don't deprive yourself completely or you'll go insane.

A few other tips — scrape those marshmallows off grandma's yams and eat the yam part only. Dribble on the gravy instead of pouring it on. Keep drinking that water. As yummy as it sounds, don't have the eggnog in your coffee instead of cream. Go for healthy appetite-curbing green tea with a little natural honey to satisfy that sweet tooth in the morning or late at night. As for exercise, have tons of sex, dance at the holiday parties you go to, go for a run, and my motto when I'm feeling bloated — Drop and give yourself 20!


Q: My boyfriend wants to go to all the coolest things with his BFF instead of with me. He took him to see our favorite band. He's doing a boy's night out for New Year's Eve with the best friend and is going skiing with his friends over the holiday break. Should I take this personally that he doesn't include me or am I being too sensitive? I feel like he should spend at least SOME special occasions with me and not his friends.

– Dissed in Decatur, Ill.

A: Maybe he's into boys and not girls. Dump him! He's clearly not that into you. Sorry!




Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.


Q:Is it true that girls like guys who put them down?

-From MySpace Man

A: Oh, you've read Neil Strauss' The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. The book's based on the teachings of evil genius, Mystery, who went on to star in his own VH1 TV show, The Pick-up Artist. But, as obnoxious as pickup artist Mystery is, there is some truth to his theories. But, it's not so much that women like guys who put them down. It's that women like a challenge. Women can be very intrigued by the one man in the room paying her little or no attention. We like a little mystery in our lives (but not the goggle-headed guy from that show). My advice is don't put a woman down thinking you'll land her in bed. That is ridiculous. Don't be rude. Don't use trickery. But be mysterious, be aloof, and be a challenge.


Q: I have been married for a long time. I love my wife deeply. But she is arthritic and says it hurts to have sex. We no longer do. So how do I reconcile wanting a sex life and not wanting to hurt my wife in any way?

-Sexless in Oregon

A: A sexless marriage is not a marriage worth having. But, don't call it quits. It's fixable. We don't just need sex in our lives to satisfy our carnal needs. We need it for intimacy and to relieve stress and to be human. One should not accept not having their basic needs met in a marriage and she needs to know this in a non-threatening but supportive and helpful way. You need to ask your wife to talk to her doctor to come up with a solution. And, you should call your doctor too and get some information or advice that could help and support this wife of yours that you love deeply. Find a way for your wife to relieve the pain and experience some real pleasure. Talking to a doctor about personal stuff isn't fun, but suck it up and soon she'll be sucking you up like it's the last night on Earth. Email me back when you guys are fucking like bunnies again.


Q:I have a terrible romance with procrastination. How does someone deal with the stress of life and still manage to produce things that are on par with one's perfectionist inclinations?

-Trepidation in Tampa

A: It's kind of like this -- Say there's a night where you're tired and just don't feel like having sex with your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, whomever. Right? We've all been there. "I'm not in the mood." "I didn't wax." "I have to get up early." "The whip is in the shop." But you get seduced into the act by that loved one and in a split second you are totally into fucking. Once you start, you don't want to stop. That's how I feel about procrastination with work or other projects.

We all have times where we feel a little lazy, tired, or overwhelmed by a project so we just put it off and off and off. But once you start and your creative or work energy wakes up, you get it done. So, my advice is this: no matter how much you want to put it off, the second you get a task, assignment, or that dreadful little deed ends up on your "to do" list, just start the project immediately anyway. At least start the first step of it. It's ok if it's not finished immediately, or if your first thought on the project sucks. Just get it going and you will see a difference. If you really want to think of yourself someone with "perfectionist inclinations," then procrastination should not be in your vocab, babe. I made a vow to myself to try to accomplish at least ONE thing every day, including Saturday and Sundays. Those little accomplishments do wonders for your confidence and really get your creative juices flowing.


Q: So there is this girl on the coast who is talented, beautiful, sophisticated and ultra sexy, and who has an amazing career and a mega talented hubby. Need I say more? Well this distance is a bit of a disadvantage and seeing her is challenging. What are some things you can do to show your crush just how much you adore her without overstepping any marital boundaries. This is from my friend, of course.

-An Anonymous Question from an Ohio Vixen

A: My first instinct is to say, "Don't fuck with married people!" It's just not right to go after a gal or girl who is taken. But, you say it's just a "crush" and crushes are usually pretty harmless and fleeting. Enjoy a little online, friendly girl-on-girl flirting, but don't expect or try to take it further. She is married!



Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.


Q: I've heard about this new site called In-Spot.org, which anonymously sends out eCards to ex-lovers who may have contracted an STD from you. I just found out I have Herpes and I have a handful of ex-girlfriends I need to tell but I'm dreading telling them. So, I was thinking of using this service. Should I?

-Crusty in Cranford, NJ

A: Fuck no! Sorry In-Spot.org, but anyone who would send an eCard to inform an ex fuck of a dreadful and possibly life-changing disease is the most insensitive cold douchebag in the world. It's akin to breaking up with someone on a Post-It note. Man up and call the girls you might have infected.


Q: In a previous answer, you revealed your "Fuck That Bitch" motto. But how exactly does one properly distance themselves from people with whom they have a long and involved history with? Keeping in mind that people are often psycho and unpredictable, how can someone avoid confrontation if they just don't "get the hint"?

-Friend or Foe? in Florida

A: The girl asking the question in my last column about her bad BFF had only been friends with her for a short time, so in that case, moving on quickly when someone repeatedly disses you is the way to go. But, for your question, it's a bit trickier. I do believe that if we've been close friends with someone for a year or more (especially more), then out of respect, you owe that person an explanation of why you're moving on. It's cowardly, immature, and cruel to just ditch a pal you've been close to for years without having a conversation with them about the problem. Don't do it over text or IM. A well-written letter over email is fine, but an in-person talk or phone call is the most mature thing to do.

I don't think it's fair to expect someone you've known for a while to just "get the hint." It's confusing to the person and makes you look, again, cowardly. It doesn't help you grow as a person to avoid confrontation. You'll have confrontation you're whole life -- negotiating a salary or promotion for a new job is a confrontation of sorts. So is asking your partner what you want in bed. Confrontation doesn't have to be bad and you can't avoid it in life. Try to sit the pal down and tell 'em what is bothering you and see what he or she says. If the answer isn't what you want to hear, then tell the friend that you need a little space from your relationship. It's not as bold as "fuck that bitch," but for a longer-term friend, it's really the best route to go. Good luck! Most people suck, so I feel your pain.


Q: I found out that my best friend went behind my back and told my other best friend that I'm, 'Not pretty. Only school pretty,' which basically means I'm only pretty for my old school, because the girls there aren't as hot. I don't know what to do.

-Pretty Pissed in Prince George, British Columbia

A: Neither of them are even friend material. Friends don't call friends "school pretty." And, friends don't relay an insult that you probably wouldn't have heard otherwise. It's a double whammy to me. I would never hurt my friend's feelings by telling her a nasty comment that another friend said about her -- unless she begged me to tell her to because, for example, she'd heard the said friend was talking smack about me. Keep in mind that girls say this kind of shit when they are feeling insecure about themselves or jealous of you. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, but try to find nicer gal pals to pal around with.


Q: I can't seem to find the type of guy I want -- tattooed, pierced, and intelligent. I'm a smart girl and I can hold my own. I feel like I have trouble finding these types of guys because I don't have any body mods. I don't know what I'm missing. I'm actually a year away from graduating college. I have two jobs. I DJ. I figured I'd have a boyfriend by my junior year of college. But, I can't even meet a guy. What's wrong with me?

-Frustrated in Philly

A: Nothing is wrong with you. Sometimes you need to just grab the bull by the horns and lay it out there. Or in this case, grab the boy by the balls and lay one on him. Okay, maybe you shouldn't do that per se, but what I'm saying is to try a more upfront approach with boys. It worked for me.

You sound fab. You don't need body mods to get a boy with tats and piercings. I'm tat and metal free and my husband is sleeved. You already have more than a lot of girls your age -- a cool gig DJing, ambition (two jobs, yeah!), and an education. You're a total triple threat, so feel it, own it, and go after what you want. I don't care if that advice is trite, it's true and we sometimes forget what Buddha said: "We become what we think." Think you are fab (like you are) and that you deserve a hot boyfriend and you will get it! But, if actually finding those guys is really hard, check out the cuties on SG.com or try a dating site like RockandRollDating.com.


Q: I'm building a guitar and want to know what sort of pickups for rock/pop are best for mahogany bodies.

-Fretless in Florida

A: Lucky for you, I dated a great guitarist once named Blues Saraceno, with whom I’m still friends with, so I had him answer this one for me. He says, "The best pickups for your needs are: Humbuckers, lower output (8k to 10k) ones will be a little brighter and give the mahogany guitar (which is typically a darker smoother sounding wood) a little more bite/cut which helps balance out the sound. Typically, the hotter (12k to 14k) the pickup, the more bottom and mids are emphasized. The lower output pickups also help give you the option of cleaning up the sound nicely when you turn your volume pot down. Any pickup by Seymour Duncan is a safe bet. (i.e., PAF, Seth Lover, Pearly gates). If you are going to have a tremolo installed on the guitar then I highly recommend my own Blues Saraceno parallel axis trem bucker PA TB3."


Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.


Q: I'm a straight guy but one of my closest guy friends is gay and when he gets drunk, he hits on me. He even kissed me once and I just brushed it off. He's been doing this for a while and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to make a big issue of it, but I'm not gay, so, how do I tell him to stop?

-Dong Dread in Detroit

A: Hmmmm. He kissed you and you just brushed it off? And, you let him continually hit on you? Are you sure you're not curious perhaps? Maybe you have some soul-searching to do here. If not, then it's simple: Just tell him nicely to stop hitting on you. He won't be upset. He'll probably be surprised that you haven't said it sooner and is expecting you to put the brakes on this behavior anyway.



Q: I'm a 25-year-old female and I'm dating a 25-year-old guy. While we have a ton of fun together, it seems like the relationship is automatically doomed because I definitely want to get married and have children by my mid to upper thirties. But, he might not be ready for that kind of thing for a while. All these gorgeous, fun guys are awesome in the short term, but heartbreak is looming on the horizon. How do you decide when it's right to start a relationship (or not) in a situation like this? I don't want to bag it this quickly since we're having such a great time, but when do I have to put the future first?

-Anonymous in Anywhere, America

A: "Heartbreak is looming on the horizon." Damn, been listening to a lot of Joy Division lately? Chill for now. You are young. Have fun. Now is not the time to worry about such things. Mid to upper thirties is a decade from your ripe young age of 25 and, trust me, you will grow and change more than you can contemplate right now. I know I did. If you were in your thirties and wanted marriage and kids and were dating a guy who wasn't ready, I'd say kick him to the curb and find that baby daddy of yours. But at 25? Nope. You're a-okay. Enjoy this gorgeous, fun guy you have.



Q: My new boyfriend recently told me he's a virgin. My "number" is somewhere closer to a baker's dozen. How can I be both a good lover AND a good "teacher" simultaneously without making him think he's being graded?

-A Banging Babe in Berwyn, Illinois

A: Here's what you do: Hit up TrashyLingerie.com and buy one of their sexy school teacher's outfits (accessorized with an old-school ruler of course) or a dominatrix outfit (with a whip or riding crop, naturally) and literally play teacher and student with him. Role-playing is hot. He will love it and you will get to school him on what really turns you on and how to make love to a woman in a way that is fun and playful.



Q: I have a friend who became addicted to meth, cocaine, and Xanax. She unexpectedly left her home state and ignored her good friends who were there to support and help her. For a year, she ignored our text messages and e-mails. Now she's back home -- and clean -- and wants to resume our friendship where we left off. Those months of hurt and betrayal still play on my mind, especially if she doesn't return my e-mail for a day or two. It makes me worried she's left again or high in a gutter. What do you think I should do? Should I take the high road and stick by her? Should I trust that she's clean and just busy if she doesn't return my e-mail? This girl is like a sister to me.

-Anxious in Arizona

A: First and foremost, put your feelings of betrayal aside for a moment -- natural as they may be -- and do everything you can to get in touch with her to make sure she is not "high in a gutter" somewhere. That is your first concern. Second, forget about the ignoring of texts and emails. Think of it this way: If your friend had cancer and didn't answer emails in a day, you'd understand, right? Like cancer, drug addiction is a disease and the normal rules of friendship do not apply. If you need more help, check out Co-Anon, which is for people whose lives are affected by a friend or family member's cocaine use. Al-Anon would work too, even though it says it's for friends of alcoholics.



Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your furry fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Are your friends sick and tired of you running to them every time that frenemy of yours pisses you off? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com. Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.


Q: I'm thinking about getting my boyfriend's initials tattooed on me somewhere, but my friends keep telling me not to do it. I know it sounds crazy because I'm 20 and we're only dating, but I don't care. What do you think?

-Unsure in Upstate New York

A: If it "sounds" crazy to you, it's because it is mother-fucking ca-ray-zeeee with a capital C! If you're boyfriend's initials are B.M. then I'd say go for it because it's a Big Mistake and that's what that B.M. will end up standing for on your sweet little derrière. If you were married and you were both getting each other's names tattooed, I'd say go for it! But, you're not. And, trust me, you'll go through many boyfriends before you find "the one" you marry and is worth marking up your body for. On the other hand, you could go the Patsy Kensit route, and serial date/marry DJs, singers and musicians exclusively (the Lethal Weapon 2 actress has hooked Dan Donovan, Jim Kerr, Liam Gallagher and Jeremy Healy, to name but a few) so you can have body art that's reminiscent of a Reading Festival flyer (just make sure it evokes a good year!). Then again, even Patsy had Liam's name scrubbed from her person post-breakup, artfully masking it with her son Lennon's name.



Q: When I'm done with college I plan to move to L.A. to pursue my lifelong dream of being a comedian, actress, and Shia LaBeouf's girlfriend. What's the best advice you would give to me as a future 22-year-old heading to Hollywood to try to make it big? P.S. I love your book Cherry Bomb!

-Starry-Eyed in St. Louis

A: Don't just move to Hollywood with stars in your eyes, dreaming of making it big, and thinking you'll be living life like a rock star the second you step off that Greyhound bus. Move here to hone your craft, work your ass off, and then if your acting or comedic chops are good enough, maybe some doors will open for you. It's a great city for comedy (you need a sense of humor to live here), so take advantage of it. Get a job at as a cocktail waitress at a comedy club. See as many stand-up shows as possible. Take improv classes with the masters. Live, eat, and breathe it and good things will come. Good luck!



Q:My BFF regularly ditches me for her more popular friends and basically uses me as a back-up friend, even though I'm supposedly her 'best friend.' I don't know if I'm being petty or paranoid or what, but she does this a lot.

-Confused in Canada

A: This girl is not your BFF. Seriously. "Fuck That Bitch" is my motto when it comes to girls like this. Move on.



Q:I read about sploshing in your book Cherry Bomb, and I want to hear more about it. At what point in a relationship is it OK to suggest trying it? And how do you broach the 'do you have any large plastic sheets or should we just use the bathroom' conversation?

-Wet n' Wild in West Hollywood

A: Sploshing can be fun, but it's not for everyone. You don't want to broach the subject on a first date, but if you've been dating for a few weeks or more and are already having sex, go for it! Bring it up casually and just say you read about it in my book and see how he reacts and take it from there. If he's up for some moist, sticky and yummy action, test the waters slowly with some well-placed whipped cream or honey, then move on to messier activities, such as laying down the plastic sheets and rolling around in cherry pies, cakes, or pudding. Personally, if you have a large tiled bathroom, that'd be the place I'd choose to play.


Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

When KISS frontman Gene Simmons needed some sex and relationship advice, he turned to music journalist and professional rock chick Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna, who handed out her (black) pearls of wisdom in his Gene Simmons Tongue magazine.

Believing that being a rock chick is a state of mind, Carrie decided to gather the life advice she'd gleaned from her heroes for a book, which she hoped would encourage even mild men and women of rock to embrace their wilder side. The resulting critically acclaimed alternative lifestyle bible, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star, was published last month. It features contributions from Dita Von Teese (striptease), Betsey Johnson (breast cancer awareness and personal style), Katy Perry (vintage shopping), Berlin's Terri Nunn (dating, doing it & dumping), Kat Von D (tattoos) and SG's own NicoleLee Suicide (piercings), among others.

Since life isn't a bowl of cherries, starting next month, Carrie (a.k.a. Gotha Stewart, a.k.a. Miss Truth Hurts) will be dishing out life advice twice a month at SuicideGirls.com. To get into the swing of things (literally and metaphorically), we're previewing her new column this month with a few cherry picked excerpts from Cherry Bomb. In the meantime, click HERE to submit your questions to Miss Truth Hurts.

Question: How do you serve absinthe?

Answer: You've heard Marilyn Manson sing its praises and seen Trent Reznor pour it in the video for "The Perfect Drug” and Kylie Minogue portray "the Green Fairy" (a.k.a. absinthe) in Moulin Rouge. But, what the hell is absinthe? It's a green, sometimes red or black, anise-flavored liquor made with herbs and wormwood that gives you a fuzzier feeling than your average alcoholic beverage. And, this is how you serve it:

The Traditional French Ritual:
Step 1: Pour two shots of absinthe into the glass.
Step 2: Rest the absinthe spoon on top of the glass.
Step 3: Place one to two sugar cubes (to taste) on top of the spoon.
Step 4: Pour another shot of absinthe over the sugar, soaking the cubes with the liqueur.
Step 5: Light the absinthe-soaked sugar on fire and let the sugar burn until it caramelizes and starts melting into the glass. Be careful here: The blue flame is sometimes hard to see. Don't stick your finger in it see if it's on fire - it is!
Step 6: Pour a shot of ice-cold water over the fired up sugar to put the fire out.
Step 7: Stir any sugar that remains on the spoon into your absinthe. Once the water and sugar are stirred in, the absinthe will "louche," which means to turn a milky white-green shade. And, it's time to drink!

Q: My boyfriend wants a ménage à trois. What's the best way to go about it?

A: "Every single guy wants a threesome. It's all about indulging and living out a fantasy. If you are going to do anything extracurricular like this, you need to make sure that you are in control and that you set boundaries. You should be the main girl and you can dictate what the other girl can and cannot do with your man. So, you need to talk to both of them ahead of time and set up those boundaries. You need to tell them what you are comfortable with and what you aren't. If you set those rules, no one will get hurt. Choose the girl wisely - and you should be the one to pick her. I don't recommend having a threesome with a friend because it will ruin the friendship and you don't want that memory burned into your brain. And, since it's all about fantasy, you don't want to keep in touch with her after. If she's willing to play by your rules, you may be more inclined to do it again. You just need to say to her, "Hey. I'm willing to share my man with you, but this is what it's all about and if you don't go along with the rules, I'm going to kick your ass!" by Cherry Bomb contributor adult film star Tera Patrick

Q: Can you give me some tips on tour bus etiquette?

A: Tour buses are fun. They're basically a bar, a dance-club, and a lounge on wheels. What isn't fun about that? I'll tell you what's not fun - having the singer, tour manager, or bitchy band wife snap at you for doing something wrong. Follow these rules of the road and you won't get kicked to the curb.

1. Just like Fight Club and partying in Las Vegas, what happens on the bus, stays on the bus.
2. Bathrooms on most buses can only take number one. Some buses have a grinder for number two. Make sure you ask first what your bathroom is equipped for before dropping trough.
3. A sippy cup is your friend. Being drunk on a bus with an open cup is a recipe for disaster -- if you spill on someone's bunk or in the lounge that everyone shares, there will be hell to pay.
4. The singer always gets first choice of what to watch or listen to on the bus. Know your band hierarchy - singer RANKS first, songwriting guitarist second, bassist third, drummer fourth, band wives next, and band girlfriends last. Guests don't get to dictate what goes on the tube.
5. Don't accidentally drink the ashtray. Most people on the bus use a water bottle as an ashtray, so before you grab a bottle of H20 and start chugging, take a look and make sure it's not where the smokers are ash-ing their butts.


Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com

Excerpts from Cherry Bomb courtesy of Simon Spotlight Entertainment. Text copyright (c) 2008 by Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna. Published by Simon Spotlight Entertainment, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc. Printed with permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Photography: Piper Ferguson.