The fun of watching Harry Reid poke his anus into the air for all to penetrate never seems to end. He is one of the weakest men in Washington, completely unable or unwilling to use his power to accomplish what needs to be done. From allowing Republicans to constantly filibuster without actually filibustering, to rolling over like a bitch for Bush for years, it is mystifying the loser is still allowed to keep his job. But who wouldn’t want a pro-life, anti-gay marriage, big business lovin’ man who voted to invade Iraq. He’s got Democrat stamped all over him.

Basically, Reid is a Republican, or what was a Republican 20 years ago before Washington became completely insane. And he’s running the Senate for the Democrats. Reid is a huge problem and he’s a Mormon, so he wears weird underwear, which is very troubling. This week Harry decided to tell MoveOn to simmer down. Take it down a notch, with all your ‘asking for what you want and partaking in the political process’ while grandpa’s trying to bury his spine in the backyard.

Harry is upset because liberal groups have begun campaigns targeting the new “Moderate Democratic” group in the Senate. They are an exciting group of Blue Dog Democrats who think we should reduce spending on random stuff. They never actually provide a concrete reason why some project should be eliminated and another should survive, they just basically want to be able to say they did something awesome with the budget. It's economic stupidity for the worst reason and they are doing it at a time when doing shit halfway is about as stupid as it gets.

At the same time, Moveon.org is going after the Blue Dogs with radio ads. Fine. Whatever. This is how politics works. Here we have two factions of the same party who strongly disagree on an issue. This is what happens. But, oh wait, Grandpa Soft from Nevada doesn't like it when the left criticizes his precious moderates.

Right, because it's super helpful to have the Democratic caucus split apart because you have no leadership ability. And, of course, it’s not helpful to make your opinion known. To put pressure on a FUCKING POLITICIAN to get what you want. Who has ever heard of such a thing? My God, why don’t you just shit in their faces? When we begin subjecting our politicians, who appear to be aiding their opponents, to pressure, then we are doomed. In Harry Reid’s world of politics, you cave quietly behind closed doors. Keep it down, Daddy’s giving in back here.

Jesus Christ. Or should I say, “Joseph Smith.” Is Harry Reid really explaining the “art of compromise?” Harry’s version of compromising is to drop his pants, lube up his anus, and enter the room backwards. His “art of compromise” gave Bush every dime he wanted for the Iraq War, a disturbing FISA bill, a free pass on torture, put insane judge after insane judge on the bench, and an endless stream of torture happy department heads. He’s soft and weak, which is the job of people not in power.

And now he’s decided to tell a strong political group to shut up, because it’s “unwise and unhelpful” to fight for what you believe in. How in the fuck is it “unhelpful” to pressure Democrats not to act against their DEMOCRATIC president? Are the Blue Dog Senators going to throw a tantrum and, uh, I don’t know, do exactly what they are doing? Maybe if Harry were capable of doing the job, the groups that make up the Democratic base wouldn’t have to take action. What Harry Reid doesn’t play hardball, he plays fearball and it has led to an endless stream of failures.

The fact that Harry Reid has remained in power for so long is an indictment against all Senate Democrats. In the end, it’s not Harry’s fault, it’s the Democratic Senate Caucus. I wouldn’t let a drunk keep driving the bus after seven years of running into cars and killing people, but that’s exactly what they are doing. He’s inept and he’s shown it over and over again. The Democrats are frightened, little animals, even with a large majority. They don’t want to oust a man who believes strongly that a woman shouldn’t have the choice to choose, who gave in time after time to Bush and the Republicans and who refuses to make Republicans filibuster when they threaten to do so. The failure isn’t Harry; he’s just being himself. I wouldn’t get mad at a jellyfish because it can’t climb a ladder. It’s got no hands and no spine. Just like Harry’s got no leadership skills –- and no spine.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper

Smell that? That’s the smell of Asshole Fuckfaces. It kind of smells like someone opened up a pig’s anus and inserted hate. It’s not pleasant at all. Now you understand my suffering. I spend my week knee deep in this nonsense for you. Someday I’ll just snap and take a few of you out. But until that time, I mine the world for the worst of the worst. I then present them to you for mocking and scorn, which you seem to have mastered quite well. So, put on your favorite rubber sheet because this is going to be ugly.

First up, some past president Asshole Fuckfacery.

George W. Bush. Don’t expect that name to disappear from the Roundup for a long, long time. For the next few years, we will be wading through his plethora of heinous and criminal acts. This week, we learned of some very disturbing Bush activities, though it was not at all surprising. Would you be surprised to know a rat gnawed on the eyeball of a corpse? Well, you shouldn’t be, especially around my house. Same goes for the activities of one George Asshole Fuckface Bush.

Fuck yeah! Why not? Let’s tear this fucker up! Someone attacked us, we don’t know who it is, so it’s a government free for all! Weeeeeee.

Goddamn press and their dirty reporting. First thing we need to do to save the country is to get rid of that horrible number one thing the Founding Father put on that stupid Constitution thingy.

Timely. Thanks for getting around to that.

Remember all those “crazy conspiracy nuts” you were making fun of because they kept talking about Bush giving himself the power to declare martial law and take over the country? Well, they were saying that because Bush was giving himself the power to declare martial law and take over the country. How about that? Now go apologize, you dick.

John Yoo, one of America’s greatest Asshole Fuckfaces. Disbar the fuck and fire him from UC Berkeley, immediately.

Next up, more Republican Asshole Fuckfacing.

Let’s face it, the Republican Party is so full of duplicitous hypocrites it is astounding. There is no end to their shocking activities and shameless threats. This week, they rolled out an epic warning, so staggering in its audaciousness, it should be framed and put in the Smithsonian in the “What the fuck?” wing.

First, lets climb into the old time machine and go waaaaaay back to 2004. Republicans were running the show and they wanted to do things their way – all the time. They especially didn’t like the Democrats keeping Bush’s radical right wing judges from receiving Congressional approval.

Yes. The “nuclear option.”

TYRANNY! Those motherfuckers were using their powers given to them by The Constitution to stop extremists from being put on the bench! How fucking dare they!

The Republican majority never used the nuclear option, mostly because using the talking point was more effective politically than altering the way Congress works to approve 4.3% of Bush’s nominees. But now the crazy Asshole Fuckfaces are the loser party and well, they are Republicans...

Wait. What? Did I just drink seven bottles of tequila? Are these crazy fucks, who are vastly outnumbered in the Senate, actually telling the president to pick the last Asshole Fuckface’s nominees?

Um. No. Welcome to not winning.

I don’t….they….but…I thought…wait…

I’m sorry. Do you Asshole Fuckfaces seem to believe you are engaging in bipartisanship? Because you are actually engaged in dickishness. Right now I want to punch something, then explode. I now want to be tiny chunks of flesh covering my walls. It’s the only reasonable reaction to complete and total insanity.

Obama should just copy Orren Hatch’s letter from 2005.

Perish slowly. Thank you.

Next up, some Spanish Asshole Fuckfacery.

Spain. Wow. Not only do fans in their soccer stadiums make monkey noises when black players touch the ball, but they also have a bit of a problem with gay people.

Isaac Ali Dani Peréz Triviño and Julio Anderson Luciano were a gay couple living together in the Spanish province of Vigo. On January 13th, 2006, they met an Asshole Fuckface named Jacobo Piñeiro Rial. Isaac worked at a gay bar, where Jacobo went to do some coke and have a few drinks. At the end of his shift, Isaac invited Jacobo back to the couple’s apartment –– because he needed a place to stay. Julio arrived around 10:30.

After they went to bed, Jacobo decided to kill them at around 4 in the morning. He stabbed Isaac first, and then went after Julio, who he stabbed 24 times. Isaac barricaded himself the bedroom. But Jacobo broke in and stabbed Isaac 34 times, until he died. Jacobo tried to make it appear that a robbery had gone wrong, then set the house on fire. He was caught two days later, with a suitcase full of the couple's possessions.

His trial was this week and it went very well for him. He used the “I’m scared of gay people defense.”

The old double gay rape knife strip. Also known as “fiction.”

Look, if I do blow and get ripped for two days, I can kill what whomever I want. Know why? My judgment is all fucked up. That’s how blow works. Also, after almost being raped and murdered, I will always wash up in the shower and set the home on fire. That’s just how I roll.

Jacobo was acquitted of the murders by the jury of Asshole Fuckfaces. Protests are planned tomorrow in Vigo, Madrid and Barcelona.

Finally, some epic Asshole Fuckface mothering.

Genine Compton was having a bitch of a morning. First she had to take the kids to school. Total bummer. Second, she had to feed the baby. Double bummer. So why not combine the two?

It’s called managing your time. So what if a tiny fender bender would crush that baby’s skull like a grape? Shit is getting done. Oh, hold on, I have a call.

Obviously, she was steering with her other breast. What is she supposed to do, not take the call? Let the baby go all hungry and shit? It’s called parenting.

Fuck yeah you will. Because you are mom of the year.



FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper

Thank you!



Very appreciated.



Gracias!



Eternally grateful.



Indebted.



Wish you were staying!



Missing you already.



Much obliged.



Seriously, thanks.



Praying for you, as always.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

Conservatives have begun their push to pretend as if George Bush was not a horrible president. For them, it is personal. They voted for the guy, so the finger will always be pointed at their stupid heads. This causes them to look intensely at the Bush presidency and try to spin the utter failure into win. It’s actually quite amusing to witness. And it’s working a bit. Bush’s approval ratings have shot up to a spectacular 34% on the back of an increase in Republican approval. A retarded 74% of Republicans now approve of the job Bush has done. Amazing. This week Fred Barnes broke down the awesomeness of Bush in the Weekly Standard.

Yep. The guy who went AWOL during Vietnam has bucket loads full of courage. Bush has never done anything courageous in his life. He is a pampered rich boy who failed his way to the presidency. He is the ultimate example of everything that is wrong with America. Stupidity and arrogance crammed into the body of an old, drunk frat boy.

Barnes then launches into Bush’s “Ten greatest achievements.”

I love how the right wing has turned knowledge and facts into “elite opinion.” It’s a great way to dismiss all facts.

Human: Hey, the Earth's surface is mostly water.

Idiot: Pfffft. According to your “elite opinion.”

Human: No, it's a fact.

Idiot: Nope!

Human: I don’t know what’s happening

Idiot: I win!

The failure to sign Kyoto was the beginning of our downfall with much of the world. It was the ultimate example of the gluttony and selfishness of America. If you don’t believe in global warming, you’re an idiot. There is no reason to even talk to you about it. You are just a fucking moron and should be treated with derision. You are unworthy of debate, or even eye contact.

Not one word in that paragraph is true. Not one word. And we shouldn’t engage them, because then we are playing their ridiculous game.

And, lying is a great way to start out an article about Bush’s achievements.

Why is Bush awesome? Because he’s a war criminal. Seriously, that’s what this asshole just wrote. He’s praising torture and yet, he didn’t put down his pen and punch himself in the face afterwards. I know this because there is a number 3.

Here we go, more breaking of the law as an achievement. This is absolutely amazing. Conservatives may want to explain why they are anti-democracy at this point. The “rebuilding of presidential authority” has led to the destruction of our country. This philosophy is the heart of all our problems. The unitary executive theory is a profound distortion of our system of government and is everything the Founding Fathers were against. But here’s a conservative tool, holding it up as an achievement.

Hell, yes. And two wars in the past two years show how awesome that plan went. At this point, America is seriously damaged due to our relationship with Israel. It is one of the main reasons we are hated in many parts of the world –– and it’s completely unworth it. Religious fanatics like Bush support Israel because of the Bible end game and for no other reason. It’s a book. Get over it.

No Child Left Behind is a massive failure. Teacher after teacher has railed against the law, which forces schools to rely on high-stakes exams to boost scores to get money, instead of on pursuing a broader vision of education. The reason Barnes touts NCLB is because it is a conservative plan to destroy public education. The ultimate goal is to destabilize and defund public schools. So, kudos. And don’t worry about all those kids getting fucked during your “kill the public schools” transition period.

Look, we’re all adults. Can’t we act like it? America is the greatest supporter of brutal regimes in the world. We always have been, we always will be. Like your comments on global warming, when this remark comes out of your mouth, people should laugh at you. You are essentially a word clown. Read a bit about a guy named Musharraf of Pakistan and get back to me.

Um. Bush fucked up so bad on Medicare that Kucinich included it in his articles of impeachment.

But, yeah, other than all that, nice work on Medicare. Like NCLB, Barnes touts this as an “achievement” because it is designed to destroy Medicare from within.

Well, that’s an achievement if you love big business and hate the workingman and the separation of church and state. I can’t really say much about this because I fault Democrats for letting the shocking ideologues into the Supreme Court. Barnes is actually right on this one. They should be proud of their boy here.

First up, thanks for strengthening our relationship with Japan. We were seriously worried about that. But more importantly, if #9 on your list is strengthening relations with our friends, you are a shocking failure.

Hup, ho, hold the fuck up. He had to surge because he FUCKING BLEW IT. The war was run horribly. Look, if I miss the toilet and shit all over the floor, I don’t get credit for cleaning up the shit. So, stop it. It makes you look stupid.

I just missed the toilet and shit all over the floor.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. He currently has rather wet and soiled shoes. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

One of the great things about Obama taking over is we get to watch corrupt, horrible government employees lose their jobs. Take the Pentagon. Last month, the Obama team announced 90 douchebags would not be coming back. They didn’t actually use the term “douchebags,” but let’s face it, that is an extremely appropriate description.

A fucking email? Holy shit. How much of a complete and total asshole do you have to be to receive a termination email? I think dogs get better treatment. Of course, these people should actually be in jail, so they are getting off easy.

Now, if all was good in the world, we would be able to watch live on video as these people received the news of their future non-employment. But sometimes the world is cruel and we only get a bit of their public crying.
Special assistant to the Secretary of Defense, Jim O’Beirne, was none to pleased at the manner of notification.

I will. You’re a bunch of cunts. You ran a frightfully pathetic war and ruined our military. That’s just a guess.

Um. Yeah. One man’s “politics” is another man’s insane “ideology.” O’Beirne explained it was their adherence to the Bush doctrine that played a part in their termination.

Jimmy, those two things are not mutually exclusive.

Can you give outstanding performances during the worst presidency in the history of our country? Is that possible? Doesn’t that mean your outstanding performance greatly contributed to the epic failure? I think it does. “Hey, I was the treasurer of Death Town,” doesn’t get you much with me. Going full speed doesn’t mean shit if you’re going the wrong way. You can pat yourself on the back for driving 170 miles an hour, but if you ended up in Fresno, it’s still a massive fail.

To see who these people are, we need only look at the now fired Jim O'Beirne. He’s one of the guys who helped turn Iraq into a complete and total fucking mess. Ever heard of the Coalition Provisional Authority? They were the guys who spent their time trying to implement a flat tax in Iraq, while a religious war took hold. They were trying to get the Baghdad Stock Market rolling, while suicide bombers blew up everything in sight.

If there is one book you should read to understand how poorly the war was run in the first year, it’s Imperial Life in the Emerald City. It is a shocking and brutal account of the extreme politicization of the Iraq War. And it was all done at the hands of guys like Jim O’Beirne. Here’s an excerpt from the book.

Yes, abortion. During interviews to determine whether people were qualified to rebuild Iraq. Abortion. Take a moment now to remember what Jimmy said in that email.

This is the guy now complaining like a bitch about how he and others were fired. Welcome to the world of irony, Jimmy. If you asked a qualified government employee with experience in nation building, whether he was for or against Roe v. Wade and then excluded him based on his views on abortion, that was “outstanding performance.” This is exactly what Jim O'Beirne did. Experienced individual after experienced individual were excluded based on their political beliefs. The State Department was completely excluded from post war planning, because they did not adhere to the insane ideological plans of neo cons like Jim O'Beirne.

Today we should celebrate the pain and removal from government service of O’Beirne. He is a shining example of the worst our country has to offer.

That’s why Iraq turned into the epic disaster it is.

And now you're not anywhere. See how that works?

Imperial Life in the Emerald City should be required reading for every American.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

The Bush presidency is in its waning days - an administration marked by scandals ranging from the firing of US attorneys for political reasons, the Plame fiasco that resulted in the conviction of Scooter Libby, to the Abramoff lobbying disaster that took down former GSA chief of staff Safavian among others.

Now that senator Ted Stevens (R, Alaska) has been convicted of seven felonies and is embroiled in a close race headed for a recount, the question arises - who will the president pardon?

In contrast to Clinton issuing 140 pardons on his last day:

If Bush decides to roll out the pardons, possible candidates include Stevens, Scooter Libby (whose sentence he commuted but conviction and hefty fine left intact), Safavian, Claude Allen (of Target shoplifting fame), and others.

He might also preemptively pardon anyone involved in Abu Ghraib, Gitmo, and the DOJ scandal (Miers, Rove) who might be convicted in the future, as Ford did with Nixon.

Bush's actions will put a finishing touch on the legacy of his presidency, so it will be interesting to see if he goes out in an uproar of controversy like Clinton did, or chooses to maintain his relatively moderate line of pardons so far.

The situation in Georgia is deteriorating rapidly. For those of you who have had your heads shoved up your asses, here’s a recap and some history from Redbstrd. Georgia has been a tinderbox for years and the last thing one needs during a tinderbox situation is the simplistic, one note diplomacy of George Bush and company. He fucked the pooch on this one, plain and simple.

Historically, this is a very fucked up situation.Think Israel and Palestine. Georgia has been opposed to their aggressive Russian neighbors for centuries. And two regions inside Georgia, Abkhazia and South Ossetia, are opposed to aggressive Georgia rule. In the end, the regions don’t want to be a part of Georgia, so they looked to Russia for help. Georgia invaded the capital of South Ossetia this week and Russia responded by invading, too. The conflict has now spread to Abkhazia and beyond. That’s the incredibly simplistic summary of a conflict that has been going on since the late 1700s. You want more, read this. Oh, and don’t forget about the oil. Seems every conflict in the world includes oil as part of the equation.

We should be concerned about what our part in this mess is and how to make sure we don’t do more damage.

The Bush administration encouraged Georgia president Mikheil Saakashvili to apply for NATO membership. This really couldn’t have been a more ignorant stance to take. During a time of increasing nationalism in Russia, that reminds some of past fascist rulers, encouraging a Russian border country, with a history of conflicts, to join NATO is completely moronic. Oh, and Russia said they would not allow it.

No, shit. Anyone who had bothered to read any history of the region would have known that, but we are talking about a president who didn’t know the difference between Shiites and Sunnis when he invaded Iraq. Nuance and intelligence are the enemies of George Bush.

Bush has been giving weapons and training to Georgia for several years, while he pushed for the country’s entry into NATO. Europe said, “No thanks,” because they are not fucking morons. They knew if Georgia was allowed into NATO, it would mean war with Russia, which is exactly where we would be now if our retarded president had his way. We would be at war with Russia, obligated by NATO treaties to send troops to defend Georgia. Sound good? That’s how stupid Bush and his people are.

Now, throw in the fact that the U.S. has invaded two countries in the past seven years, and we actually don’t have the ability to take a stance against an aggressive Russia. Bush invaded Iraq by using false intelligence, lying to the UN and the American people. It’s kind of hard for a guy who killed someone, standing with blood all over his hands, to call someone else a murderer, without everyone looking at him funny. Also, any military or other support we could have given Georgia is being used in two wars. And Russia knows that.

But, it’s not like some in the Bush administration aren’t calling for the U.S. to jump into this fight. Colossal dipshit and the greatest threat to America since the Japanese, Vice President Dick Cheney, would like us to get in this fucker.

Oh, good. Call up the president of Georgia and act like you are president of the United States, dick. What a completely insane promise to make. What the fuck does "not go unanswered" mean? Judging by past Bush administration responses, that ain't good. But then, these are the same neo-con idiots who have wreaked havoc on the world, so it can’t be a big surprise.

Okay. Line crossed. What do you propose, genius? The people of Georgia are expecting our support because of this EXACT TYPE OF LANGUAGE over the years.

Not coming. Not actually your friends.

It's not and we're in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Sorry about that. How about a mint?

It's called being on the other end of Bush foreign policy. Kind of a bummer, huh?

Smell that? It’s smells familiar, kind of like the Shiites rising up against Saddam Hussein under the first President George Bush, after he encouraged them to fight, after he insinuated they would be aided in their battle, after he stupidly made public statements he should not have made. They were slaughtered, just as the Georgians are being slaughtered today.

Bush I basically told the Shiites we had their back and they were slaughtered, while our soldiers were forced to watch, unable to engage. Now Bush II has done the same with Georgia and the result is not surprising.

John McCain, of course, wants to make the situation worse. Old School believes the situation escalated because NATO didn’t vote Georgia into the organization. Uh, yeah. That would be true, I guess, in a world where Russia didn’t say the exact opposite.

Hey, World War III! How you been? John McCain actually wants us to do the exact opposite of what should be done. Just to summarize, he wants NATO to vote for a war with Russia. Because, you know, that’s what happens when you bring a country into NATO who is at war with Russia. Johnny wants to play “bluff” with Russia and hope they would back down. You know, the Russia that is going through a bout of insane nationalism and knows the U.S. is incredibly weak militarily. Hey, draft age guys, you up for it, or what?

Oh, and please don’t pay attention to the fact that McCain's top foreign policy advisor was a lobbyist for...Georgia.

It’s interesting. A McCain win could mean World War III, but any destabilization in the world only helps McCain because of his military background. It’s weird, but somebody predicted a more unstable world as part of his future election breakdown. And hey, he also predicted the surge would be a success! Who would have thought with all that paying off of the enemy and whatnot….

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comic. You can read more of his blathering on his blog, Stop All Monsters.

The Republicans are masters of using race to stir up white anger and fear to win elections. They play the race card, as it is referred to by hacks, and are more subtle and effective with it each year. “Playing the race card” is just a palatable way of describing their racist bullshit. I don’t know how long the GOP has been doing this, my memory only goes back to Reagan, who was a master at riling up the master race.

In 1980, Reagan gave a campaign speech in Philadelphia, Mississippi, during which he said,

It was obvious to anyone with a brain that Reagan was signaling white racists that he was on their side. After all, he was speaking the city where three civil rights workers were killed in 1964 and any retard knows what "states rights" means in the South.

If you don’t buy that connection, then don’t forget Reagan’s many quotes about a “welfare queen driving a Cadillac,” or his claiming that the Voting Rights Act had been “humiliating to the South,” or his help keeping Bob Jones University from losing its tax exempt status because of a ban on interracial dating, or his opposition to a holiday for Martin Luther King. Reagan was not just a terrible president, but he was also a straight-up racist asshole.

This was the plan, called the Southern Strategy, encouraged by Richard Nixon strategist Kevin Phillips.

That’s the plan they have followed, ever since. Bush used the famous Willy Horton ad against Michael Dukakis quite effectively.



Oh, my God! A black man!

But the country has changed. That kind of overt bullshit would not go over well in many places now. I’m not saying it wouldn’t still go over great in many states, because it would. But the number of people it would turn off across the nation would not make the ad effective today. And there’s the new problem: The Democratic candidate is a black guy. That means the Republicans have to walk a very fine racist line. And they are doing it very well, so far.

The John McCain tactic seems to be to create ads most whites won’t consider racist, but blacks will.



That’s obviously a racist ad. It’s subtle, but if you don’t think showing two young white women in an ad with a black man, and tossing the word “FOREIGN” up on screen with the black guy’s face isn’t racist, then you are a fucking moron. Unfortunately, when blacks become upset and claim it is racist, McCain can scream innocence and say he’s a victim of “the race card.” Poor rich, white guy. Sadly, Obama fell right into the trap.

That’s a pretty innocuous statement, but just commenting on the ad put him in a negative light, according to polls.

The reason for that is simple; there are more white people than black people. This is about how people relate and most of us don't relate to racism, subtle or otherwise.

Considering McCain is a doddering old fool, who has taken the least popular stance on nearly every position, his only chance to win is by using race. The Republican machine knows exactly what it is doing and they are doing it well. The race is tightening. Obama has stupidly moved away from his base, while Republicans are drawing theirs together. Democrats should be very thankful that McCain is a senile old man.



The debates could be devastating. Don’t forget, Reagan and Carter were tied in the polls going into the final debate, just one week before the election. You can be certain McCain will look horrible in the debates, but the damage may already be done with “the race card.” And Republicans, when you bunch that ballot for McCain this year, know you are supporting racism. Know that you are a vile, filthy person who supports the worst in mankind.

FearTheReaper is a comic, writer and actor. You can read more of his nonsense at his blog, Stop All Monsters.

It’s time to start dragging Bush Republicans out of their homes and urinating on their faces. If that is not possible, we should hold them down and rub human feces on their heads. Let’s just get this shit over with. They hate America and are doing everything they can to obliterate our future. They are corrupt, vile, devious creatures who deserve nothing but scorn and hate. What got me so riled up - besides tons of caffeine? Bush’s latest attempt to destroy solar energy. It’s pretty fucking amazing, considering the current state we find ourselves in.

I’ll get to the new solar bullshit in a minute, but first we should take a little trip into the past, back 10 years ago, when our government destroyed a U.S. owned wind power company. Ever heard of a company called Kenetech Windpower, formerly known as U.S. Windpower? No? That’s because it doesn’t exist anymore. Once it was the nation’s largest wind power producer, then our government murdered it.

Stanley Charren, who saw a future in wind as a power source, created U.S. Windpower in 1974. It began producing first generation wind turbines in the 80s. The company began attracting the biggest and smartest minds of alternative energy from around the world. They were leaders of wind power technology across the globe, which meant a U.S. owned company was poised to make a difference in alternative energy. Basically, they were kicking ass and taking numbers.

But the company was obviously fighting an uphill battle against Reagan retardation. (That’s the actual technical term.) Ronnie did everything he could to make sure alternative energy did not harm sweet, sweet Republican oil profits. He slowly repealed tax breaks and entitlements for wind power – but left the good old tax breaks for oil. Go figure.

And yet, U.S. Windpower kept moving forward. The company renamed itself Kenetech and had long-term contracts with California that kept it crawling along. Then Kenetech had a break through: Model 33M-VS.

In 1991, Kenetech’s California contracts ran out, but the company struggled along – without the tax breaks given to big oil and even though oil prices were plummeting. The company began landing other large contracts with states like Maine and foreign countries, like Canada and Ukraine. Kenetech was also developing projects in Spain, Holland, the United Kingdom, Germany, Honduras, Costa Rica, New Zealand, India, China, Guatemala, and Egypt. A U.S. alternative energy company was poised to become a major global player. But our government wasn’t big on the idea.

In 1995, (Yeah, that’s Clinton’s time, dipshits. He was a Republican who called himself a Democrat) the EPA and the BLM suspended construction on a Kenetech wind-farm project in western Wyoming. Why? Turns out the EPA needed to complete an “environmental impact statement.” It was necessary because Clinton was a corporate whore who got on his knees and gobbled for every big company that came around. That was August 1995.

Turns out that if a struggling company is developing a large wind farm and you pull the rug out from under them, they fail. Kenetech declared bankruptcy in May 1996. In 1999 another company, Tacoma Power, completed the Wyoming Wind Project. The Foote Creeke Rim is one of the windiest places in the US.

Now, you’re probably asking why this is such a big deal. An American company called Tacoma Power developed the wind farm in the end, so it ends will, right? Wrong. What happened was Reagan and Clinton combined to destroy an American company that was the leader in wind power technology. After the destruction of Kenetech, the torch was passed to European companies, like Vestas, who are now the leaders of wind power technology. Americans could be building the fucking things and leading the way, but we're not.

We still have GE, but that has not stopped European companies from pouring into the country and consolidating control of U.S. renewable energy space. We are now back in the pack. We should have been first. Reagan killed the tax cuts and Clinton landed the final blow.

But why stop at just wind power? We are America, after all. We can't lead the pack in anything. Not with the retards we call leaders. Yes, our wonderful president, George Bush, is attacking solar power with the exact same plan.

How many American companies will die a miserable death because of this move? How will it affect America’s standing in this burgeoning solar market? How will if effect the amount we pay for energy?

Oh, and don’t forget that Republicans are blocking Congress from renewing tax credits from solar companies, while blocking the elimination of tax breaks for oil companies.

The Bureau of Land Management owns 650 million acres of land, much of that in the hot west. It is the most valuable land in terms of solar energy potential. Bush just destroyed the solar business in the U.S. This is another epic disaster from the Bush White House.

Guten Morgen! Aujourd'hui est le Roundup de los Asshole Fuckfaces! How great is that? Yes, we have survived another week and now our eyes can feast on the most horrible people on Earth. For centuries my pale ancestors have scoured the planet looking for the worst of the worst. When found, they are pointed out and mocked for their general heinousness. If it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t be able to feel incredibly superior – and life would be very, very sad. Knowing you are better than others is what makes life worth living. Gandhi said that. (He was pretty drunk at the time.) So, put on your favorite plastic moo moo, because this is going to be ugly.

First up, we won’t have many more months of President Asshole Fuckface, so we may as well get a few in before he goes.

Let’s face it, George Bush should not talk. Ever. When he opens his mouth, a delightful bouquet of retardation and white-frat-guy talk spills out. It’s especially wonderful when it occurs in front of another head of state. Like, Philippines President Gloria Arroyo, for instance.



Ah, yes. I can’t wait until he meets with the Mexican President and tells him how great the gardner is. Bush should have “Rich White Guy” branded on his forehead.

And I wish we were done with Bush after that gaff, but this being the Asshole Fuckface Roundup, you can always count on more.

Way back in April, 2007, the Supreme Court ruled that the Environmental Protection Agency has the authority and must act to regulate greenhouse gas emissions. The court ruled that the EPA has to determine whether or not greenhouse gases contribute to climate change. Up until that ruling, the EPA had been doing nothing. Environmentalists were very excited.

Over a year later, nothing has happened. It seems the Bush White House decided to ignore the Supreme Court. They just blew it off – or did they? It turns out the White House is actually smarter than everybody.

Wait, what? So, the White House, the president of the United States of America, the most powerful country on Earth, just stuck his fingers in his ears and screamed? Really? Holy shit. Just when you think they can’t get more retarded, they pull something like this out of their asshole.

The White House knew what was in the email, but it didn’t jive with their Asshole Fuckface view of the world, so they ignored it.

One EPA employee quit over this situation. He couldn’t deal with the fact that our president just won’t answer emails – probably because that’s the kind of shit you do in the 7th grade.

Next up on the Asshole Fuckface Roundup, a little more Bush government fuckfacery.

The scary thing about Democrats, like Obama, being complicit in the Republican movement to undermine our civil rights, is not how it may effect you and I, but how it will effect journalism. Some of you may not know that in April, the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Department of Homeland Security can now take all the information off your electronic devices when you enter the country. That means you computer, your iPhone, your Blackberry, or any other device you own that stores information.

Freelance journalist Bill Hogan just experienced the joy of our new USSR type security. Hogan is a senior fellow at the Center for Public Integrity, has worked as a CBS News consultant, editor of Regardie’s magazine in Washington and Washington editor of Mother Jones magazine. He recently wrote stories about the origins of the Iraq war and the impact of money in presidential politics. He’s what’s known as “liberal media,” or more appropriately, he’s a journalist who finds the truth. And now he’s on some sort of “take his shit” list.

Nice. Feel free to let me know how something like this is able to go on in a democracy. Specifically, our democracy under our Constitution. Oh, right, both parties are okey-dokey with this kind of shit.

Of course, customs officials won’t say how many computers, storage drives, cell phone and Blackberrys have been impounded and what happens to them after they are taken. They also passed on testifying at a recent Senate hearing, although they were able to scribble the Senate a little message.

Right. Thanks for that. And thanks for checking out the computer of that journalist who recently wrote about the run up to the Iraq War. I can’t wait for the days when they can read my thoughts with a machine. I won’t be able to leave my house. (I want to shit on people.)

But hey, maybe the only decent Senator left can do something about it. Good luck with that. Next up, some Asshole Fuckfaces shouldn’t know how to swim.

Meet Kasey Edwards, 18, of Okeechobee, Florida. He likes to drink beer and then take a dip in the local canals.

Hey, what do you bet that’s about to change? Last weekend, Edwards was drinking beers with some buddies when he decided he was going to swim in the canal. His friends thought it was a very bad idea, because of these things called “alligators.” They tried to talk him out of it, but Kasey is an Asshole Fuckface, so he started swimming across the canal.

No shit. What a fucking shock. Edwards grabbed onto a buoy line to avoid being pulled under and fought with the gator. He was eventually able to poke the beast in the eye. The gator let go and Edwards started to swim away.

Oops. Edwards swam to shore, where his friends did what they could to stop the bleeding and called paramedics. Hopefully, someone also said, “Nice one, Fuckface.”

Now, you may be wondering why Kasey is in the Roundup, after all he made a mistake and paid for it. Well, Kasey then opened his fucking pie hole and words came out.

Right. God. Hey, Kasey, did you ever think God was trying to turn you into a gator meal? You know, because you’re an Asshole Fuckface with no brain in your head? And he let you take a night swim in gator canal? No?

Edwards said his attack shows something needs to be done about the overpopulation of gators.

Holy fucking shit. Way to take responsibility for your actions. I think there is an overpopulation of Asshole Fuckfaces. Seriously, Kasey, there are plenty of people in burn wards who could use your skin and many people who need your organs. Just give them away, that way you can be slightly useful.

Finally, some Asshole Fuckfaces have Octopus-like defense mechanisms.



Congrats to all of this week's Asshole Fuckfaces! You each will receive a FearTheReaper bobble head!

Louis, by the grace of God, King of France and Navarre, to all present and to come, greeting from the year 1708:

One of the most useful tools of an absolute monarch like me are lettres de cachet, which may be translated as “seal letters”. You might not be familiar with this term. In my time, a seal letter (in its narrow sense) is a direct order from the king by which a subject is sentenced without trial and without an opportunity of defense to imprisonment in a state prison or an ordinary jail, confinement in a convent or a hospital, transportation to the colonies, or expulsion to another part of the realm. It’s a common practice – not a practice I’m particularly proud of, but sometimes necessary to lock away potentially dangerous individuals and maintain the power of the crown. In other terms, it’s the standard procedure to dungeon political prisoners. This is how absolute monarchy works.

However, most of you are living in a democracy, and your time considers seal letters symbols of the abuses of what you call “absolutism”. That’s why the founders of your democracies invented the writ of habeas corpus, which is basically a legal procedure through which a person can seek relief from unlawful detention of himself or another person. It has been praised as being one of the cornerstones of individual freedom and democracy. Leaders have now to justify themselves when they dungeon someone. This is how democracy works.

However, the habeas corpus can be somewhat unhandy when dealing with politically motivated arrests, for example, of supposed terrorists. That’s why the U.S. Government had this really great idea: build a prison outside the U.S. borders such that they can imprison people without any trial. I’m the last one who could condemn political imprisonment - but, as far as I understand, this is not how democracy works.

Now it seems that democracy strikes back. In the case Boumediene vs. Bush, the U.S. Supreme Court affirmed on June 12 the habeas corpus rights of detainees in Guantanamo:

The full text as PDF

Whereas I feel with King George W., Rex Christianissimus Americae, that he can no more sign lettres de cachet, I have to admit that this court decision is a victory for democracy. As you might have guessed, I’m not a big fan of democracy - but, if you do it, you should do it correctly. If you give the power to the people, you can’t take it away with the other hand. And, luckily for you, democracy has mechanisms like the Supreme Court to prevent political leaders to undermine its very basic principles.

This is how democracy works.

Given at Versailles in the month of June, in the year of grace 1708, and of our reign the sixty sixth.

Gas prices are now over $4 a gallon. Shocking, isn’t it? Who would have thought having an oil man in the White House would lead to crazy high gas prices? Being a Californian, I never thought something like this would happen, especially after Enron and other energy companies completely raped my state state in 2001, while the president sat back and watched.

Later we learned energy companies had manipulated the market, starting with lobbying for deregulation in the late '90s and ending with using the new rules to anally fuck the entire state of California. Even though it was quite obvious what was happening at the time, the Bush administration did nothing, even as our state government (Democrats) begged for help.

Now the same is happening with oil. This isn’t a supply and demand problem. Anyone who believes that is a fucking moron. We are paying high prices due to speculation. Over the past decade there has been…wait for it...yep, the development of unregulated international derivatives trading in oil futures. That has led the rich to create an oil bubble, so they can make up for all the money they lost during the real estate bubble burst. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.

Sure, they tell us it’s all due to the dwindling world oil supply. Of course, most of the sources of that information are the same guys who will profit from just such a situation. Much like the manufactured Social Security “crisis,” this is all about a certain group of people who are trying to make more money. And now, they are.

Oh, scary.

I bet.

See, those two assholes are making shitloads of money driving up the price of oil. They are speculators. They desperately want us to believe that India and China suddenly began sucking up all our sweet oil. But that’s just not true. Sure, oil use is going up, but it does not justify the insane rise in prices we have seen here in the US.

The first culprit is our dollar. What a giant, hideous turd our dollar has become. The Bush plan to fight our economic woes is to drive down the price of the dollar. He’s hoping that will stimulate exports and tourism, which will make everything A-okay. He’s obviously a fucking idiot. The devaluing of the dollar is part of the reason gas prices have been shooting up, which causes the price of everything, food, goods, to shoot up, was well.

On the supply side, we’re doing fine.

And yet, prices keep going up, up, up. I’m not saying prices shouldn’t be going up. They should. A bit. But doubling and tripling, and I get that 2001 California déjà vu feeling. This is rape, all over again.

Congress is going to start looking into this latest rise in prices this week, but I don’t expect much to happen. Our presidential candidates, like Hillary Clinton, are running around blaming OPEC. That shipped sailed a long time ago. Control of oil prices is now in the hands of Wall Street. In 2006, the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations issued a report on “The Role of Market Speculation in rising oil and gas prices.” What they found was a giant loophole in the regulation of oil derivatives trading.

And now those “few hedge fund managers” are taking advantage of that loophole while they can, while Bush is still in office and before Democrats gain a massive advantage in Congress. We’re in the middle of a greedy binge and it’s not going to stop until next year – because the only people who can do something about it don’t care.

The Commodity Futures Trading Commission is mandated by law to ensure prices reflect supply and demand, rather than market manipulation or speculation. Right now, the CFTC is a no show, just like the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission sat on its ass during the California energy crisis. But you tend to not do anything about a crisis when it's all your fault. That’s how the Bush government works.

In January 2006 the CFTC changed the rules of oil futures speculation – and I know you’re not going to believe this, but the CFTC actually changed the rules so there is no oversight. Crazy, huh? The US government energy futures regulator made sure there would be no regulation. Who would have thought such a thing would happen under Bush? At this point, people within the US trading crude oil, gasoline and heating oil futures can avoid ALL oversight requirements by routing their trades through London instead of New York.

Huh. Shocking. When CFTC changed the rules in January 2006, the price of oil was $60 a barrel. Now it is up to $134 a barrel. There is now no way to actually detect price manipulation because daily reports are no longer required. From the 2006 Senate report:

Basically, you’re getting F’ed in the A, and there is nothing you can do about it. This is the point where I laugh at all the lower income idiots who voted to put an oil man in the White House and thought it would work out great. Fuck you. You deserve this.

It’s gotten worse as of late because now the hedge funds, banks and other investors are jumping in. Now these speculators are driving up the cost of oil. The market does not see a difference between a barrel of oil being purchased by a speculator and a barrel being purchased by a refiner, or some other user of petroleum. Basically, around 50% of the price of oil is due to pure speculation. But no one really knows, because Bush deregulated the whole thing. We have very high supplies of oil and high oil prices. How awesome is that? It’s like the diamond business - only we don't all NEED diamonds.

In 1776, Thomas Jefferson and a few of his friends, also known as the Second Continental Congress, drafted and sent an interesting document to soon-to-be-nut job King George III, the latest in a long line of German twits invited to be king. This document became known to history as The United States Declaration of Independence. You might have heard of it. It was in all the papers.

Included in this weighty document is a list of charges and complaints against the British Government, in the person of King George III. This list highlighted the reasons the Colonies were willing to go to war to become independent of the British Empire. Because of these crimes, there was a rather important war, and eventually a new country.

In 2000, the SCOTUS ignored the citizens and installed George W. Bush to the office of POTUS. Eight years have passed, and W. is just about ready to flee to Paraguay as soon as January, 2009 rolls around. But before he goes, I’d like to play a little game I’ve called . . .

George Vs. George

George III

George W.
Veto of healthcare for children

George III

George W.
Gay Marriage becomes the major issue of 2004 elections, while ignoring the war.

George III

George W.
Veto of Stem Cell Research

George III

George W.
Email Deletion Scandal . . . Hard to keep records when they disappear

George III

George W.
Powell chased off by Bush and cronies

George III

George W.
Election Theft

George III

George W.
Stupid Fence
Stupid Immigration Laws

George III

George W.
In-Justice Department

George III

George W.
Office of Homeland Security, maybe?

George III

George W.
Surge grows, against wishes of population

George III

George W.
Patraeus and his non-answers

George III

George W.

Iraq War, Tax cuts for wealthy and big business, the lost of world standing, suspending habeus corpus, Guantanamo . . . Not linked because they have been explained to death.

George III

George W.
Recession, anyone?

George III

George W.
Canadian citizen sent by U.S. to Syria, where he was tortured

George III

George W.
Domestic spying and the society of fear since 9/11.

George III

George W.
Sounds like the partisan divide and the bitch-fighting between the “left” and the “right.”

George III

George W.

You gotta love a government that not only ignores logic, intelligence, and big fucking holes while wasting billions of taxpayer dollars on a worthless project.

Well, they've topped themselves for despicability in building the most worthless wall in history.

Environmental laws don't apply to Bush's pet projects.

It is like someone made a sarcastic list of the worst ways to build a border security fence, but forgot the smiley emoticon and Bush took it seriously: Make it too short, put lots of holes in it, build it to last just a few decades, and choose the building sites based on if the property owner is an old family friend or not. The only thing left to complete the foul-up is to endanger the environment.

Bush, whoever gave you that list was JOKING!

Yes, of course, a last resort. Which is why the first environmental waiver under the mandate given to Homeland Security came in September, 2005, over a year before The Secure Fence Act was passed. Good to have that precedent set up nice and early, before any major complaints could be raised.

Congratulations to Bush, Chertoff, and all their little friends: you managed to take a thoroughly crappy idea and make it just that much worse.

Coyotemike tips his ocelot-skinned hat.

George Bush is such a colossal fuck up it is astounding. Every choice the administration makes in Iraq turns out to be the wrong choice. Their latest blunder is backing the wrong Shiite in Iraq. Today, after a couple of days of violence in Iraq, a new strongman has risen and his name is Muqtada al-Sadr. Our guy is the other guy -- the weak one.

Al-Sadr played Bush and Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki like a couple of children. Seven months ago, al-Sadr agreed to a cease-fire in Iraq – which has led many right wing morons to believe the surge has been a success. They are, of course, fucking idiots desperate to prove that their imbecilic support of the invasion was the right call. Deaths have dropped in Iraq because al-Sadr has not been killing people and we have been paying Sunni insurgents not to kill people. Last week, the cease-fire with al-Sadr took a break – just long enough to show who is the big boy in Iraq. And his name ain’t Maliki.

We’re supposed to believe that Al-Sadr is the bad guy and Maliki is the good guy. The truth is they both are nasty motherfuckers. Both sides are guilty of sectarian cleansing. Both have strong connections to Iran. Maliki has been using the US military and the Iraqi Army to arrest and kill members of al-Sadr’s militia, The Mahdi Army. But this week, al-Sadr fought back, which is exactly what Maliki was hoping for. Maliki expected the US to fight this battle for him. His master plan was to get our guys to wipe out al-Sadr, leaving him as the last Shiite standing.

The fighting first started in Basra. Maliki claimed he was cracking down on “criminals,” but it was obviously a massive power grab. And a pretty pathetic one, at that. First rule of power grab: Make sure you aren’t a retard. Maliki clearly didn’t realize his pals the Iranians and his other pals, the Americans, don’t want a civil war between Iraqi Shiites. So, Maliki and the Islamic Supreme Council started the fighting in Basra and al-Sadr pushed back – and he pushed back hard.

The fighting moved to Baghdad, where US forces were also involved. There Maliki learned the second lesson of power grab: Make sure all the guys on your side are actually on your side. Many members of the Iraqi Army walked away from checkpoints, because they support al-Sadr. Members of the Army were actually walking into al-Sadr’s offices and giving up their weapons.

Meanwhile, Iran wanted the fighting to end because Iran supports both Maliki and al-Sadr and would rather they don’t kill each other. They want the Shiites to save it up to attack the Sunnis when the US pulls out. Bush certainly does not want Iraq to fall further into chaos at this point, because it would devastate McCain’s chances in November and screw up his plan to leave a land mine for the incoming Democratic president. At the same time, the Kurds refused to get involved in Maliki’s moronic fight.

Hello, blunder, my name is Maliki. Meanwhile, the Prime Minister was demanding the Mahdi Army disarm. He actually set a three-day deadline for the al-Sadr kids to turn in their weapons. There was some chuckling, a few shrugs and then the three days passed with no one turning in their guns. Day four: Maliki actually extended the deadline – and offered cash for weapons. Third rule of power grab: Don’t look like a massive pussy.

The US provided air support for Maliki’s weak ass forces and al-Sadr held strong. Turns out it is very hard to dislodge highly motivated indigenous fighters who know every nook and cranny in the area. Who knew? I mean, besides everybody. Rule number four of power grab: Read at least one book on the history of urban warfare.

After a couple days and a few hundred dead guys, Iran said enough is enough. Officials in Maliki’s own government told him to stop his little war and went to Iran for help.

Iran then brokered a peace deal. Maliki actually went to Iran to meet with al-Sadr – which brings up the fifth rule of power grab: Don’t beg your opponent to stop.

Bestest of allest, al-Sadr had a list of demands for Maliki before he would agree to an end to hostilities. The fucking rebel set the rule to end the conflict that the government started! Holy shit! Maliki is a plane crashing into a train wreck, falling on top of a car crash, hitting a boat. What an epic disaster. Rule number six of power grab: Don’t let your enemy kick your balls in.

Here is what Maliki agreed to:

1. Ending armed manifestations in Basra governorate and all the other governates.
2. Ending of attacks and illegal arbitrary detentions.
3. Demand that the government apply the law on general amnesty, and release all prisoners who have not had charges confirmed against them, in particular prisoners belonging to the Al-Sadrist current.
4. We announce that we will repudiate those who carry weapons and target the government and service agencies and institutions, or the offices of political parties.
5. Cooperation with government agencies to bring about security and to charge criminals, according to due process of law.
6. We reassert that the Al-Sadrist movement does not possess heavy weapons.
7. Efforts [meaningful efforts are to be made] for the return to their residential areas of those who were forced out as a result of security incidents.
8. We demand respect for human rights by the government in all of its security activities.
9. Working [meaningful efforts are to be made] towards the realization of development and service projects in all governates.

Oh, and here’s a napkin to wipe yourself off the floor with. My favorite number in that list is 7. She’s a beaut. Maliki is demanding that Sunnis and Shiites be placed back in their homes, from which they were removed by sectarian cleansing. You now, the sectarian cleansing that the Mahdi army was responsible for – but so were the militias working under Maliki. Al-Sadr is trying to make the case that other Shiites were responsible for the cleansing, just as he has been trying to claim Maliki has been killing Sunnis and blaming the Mahdi army. Now he’s demanding those people be put back in their houses. It’s called politics and this was a master move. Rule number seven of power grab: Don’t take on a guy who is a million times smarter than you.

To top it all off, al-Sadr has now completely positioned himself as the only powerful man in Iraq who is against the US occupation. Maliki is Bush’s boy, and called in the US military to fight against his fellow Iraqis. The Sunnis have been collaborating with and accepting money from the US for over a year. The vast majority of Iraqis want the US to leave. Now they have a strong man who loudly opposes the occupation and has shown he will not back down. And guess what is coming later this year? An election.

The October provincial elections are one of the main reasons Maliki went after al-Sadr now. He’s been attempting to displace al-Sadr supporters, while inserting members of his own Dawa Party and the Islamic Supreme Council, in areas of Basra that al-Sadr controls. Maliki completely failed. He has all but assured a massive victory for al-Sadr this October.

The other big loser in the mess is the US. What a massive fuck up. We just injected ourselves into an inter-Shiite conflict and chose the wrong side. Going after assorted rogue groups in the Mahdi Army is one thing, but going after the entire al-Sadr organization on behalf of Maliki was moronic. Did I mention the vast majority of voting Iraqis want the US out of the country?

Any gains the US made with al-Sadr and his followers are gone.

The end result of this mess is that al-Sadr is far stronger and Maliki much weaker. The Iraqi Army appears considerably weaker, which isn’t a great sign for the future. Iran also is strengthened because they brokered the peace deal. The US is, once again, the clumsy fool.

The Mahdi Army went back into the shadows, waiting for the day when the US pulls out and they take over the country – if they are not just voted in this October.

No Child Left Behind seems to regard poor, inner city schools as a disease to be cut out. No Child was, initially, meant to force schools to bring all students up to a higher level of basic reading and math skills. An admirable goal, but the method of doing so makes little sense.

First, schools are rated based on standardized tests, which are often culturally biased. And second, since funding is based on test scores, teachers and adminiatrators have been known to cheat the system by teaching answers instead of thought processes.

Now, the Bush administration is attempting to fix one of the problems within the system, while ignoring the fact that the system doesn't work.

States will now be allowed to give leniency to schools that have smaller numbers of students who are dragging down their test scores, while schools that have several groups (i.e. inner city and poor schools) are in much greater danger of closing.

This seems backwards. The schools that are in the most danger are populated by the groups of people least able to afford to have their students change schools. Bussing and after school programs are supposed to be free, but unless they are running buses after the after-school programs, the parents will have to leave work early to go pick up the children.

The idea of punishing the schools that need the most help is absurd. The idea of throwing more funding to schools that are already meeting standards is again, absurd. The idea of teaching test answers instead of thought processes is idiotic.

And the idea that fixing it by shifting the burden even more towards underfunded inner-city schools is the ultimate proof that this administration doesn't know anything about education.

Coyotemike has seen the results of No Child Left Behind, and is scared for the future.

Before the Iraq War, George Bush made sure to purge the military of all the naysayers. And by naysayers, I mean people who knew what they were talking about. The invasion was essentially run by a group of retards and the results were exactly as expected. Now Bush is purging the military of naysayers as he prepares to attack Iran.

The latest victim of Bush’s assault on thought and reason is Admiral William Fallon. Fallon “resigned” this week from his position as head of U.S. Central Command, after speaking his mind for months.

Fallon has been doing everything possible to stop what appears to be an inevitable attack on Iran – mostly because he realizes such an attack would be profoundly moronic. Last fall he took some heat for this juicy statement.

Ah, you just killed Cheney's boner. The neo-cons, who are desperate for more human life to be taken, were furious with Fallon. Never mind that the vast majority of those assholes have never and will never step foot on a battlefield. (Hi Dick Cheney.) Fallon was a lone voice of reason in a sea of bloodthirsty morons.

Fallon’s latest – and most damaging statements – were made to Esquire Magazine. The Admiral apparently saw the writing on the wall and decided to go all out. If you are in George Bush’s military, you have to agree with every decision, no matter how stupid or suicidal it may be. Fallon did not hold back in Esquire and the magazine summed up what the removal of Fallon might mean.

Fallon has this crazy idea that diplomacy should come before bombs and that everything should be done to attempt to avoid war. The White House, obviously, feels differently.

It must have been confusing for the White House to see an actual leader leading. Fallon knew he was upsetting them, but he continued to do the right thing, understanding it was going to end his career.

Indeed.



Only a year ago, Gates praised Fallon for his strategic thinking, while he announced the Admiral’s promotion to chief of Central Command.

Turns out he is exactly not right because of the “strategic thinking” thing. Now the one man who stood in the way of an all out attack on Iran is gone. He has been forced out, quite simply because he is too sane for George Bush. Fallon and Bush butted heads over three points that should not even be up for discussion.

1) Fallon believes that the indefinite occupation of Iraq is a disaster for the US military, 2) that diplomacy has a central role in American foreign and national security policy, 3) that war is not a credible policy for the US to pursue in dealing with Iran.

The crazy part of this story is that Bush promoted Fallon. Although, Bush has had to promote quite a few military officials because he has purged all of the sane ones. There has never been a modern administration that has removed so many of our military leaders because of slight disagreements. The words, “I’ll take that under advisement” don’t exist in the Bush White House. Bush rules the military like a dictator. Every move he has made has been to degrade the autonomy, independence, and institutional authority of the Pentagon to align it with his insanely narrow view of the world. The disaster known as the Iraq War is a direct result.

Bush replaced Fallon with General Stanley McChrystal, who was in charge of special operations in Iraq. “Special operations” is also known as dealing with Iran’s activities in Iraq. Fallon will not even continue on the job until his replacement takes over. He’s out before. That’s called being fired.

Oh, and Dick Cheney is on a tour of the Middle East right now, meeting with leaders. Anyone think Dick just heads out and chats leaders up? You’d be wrong. Dick is telling those who need to know that Iran is about to experience a nice dose of shock and awe.

Last year, Dick explained to the world why a second aircraft carrier task force was needed in the Persian Gulf.

An influence that never would have grown if you idiots hadn’t invaded Iraq. The Bush Administration blames Iran for “growing instability in the region,” otherwise known as the greatest irony of all time. Fallon was, of course, against sending another aircraft carrier to the Gulf.

Now look who is gone. And apparently Fallon is not alone.

What a great description of the President and Vice President of the United States of America. Makes me feel all warm inside. Sadly, it is the only way to describe two men who lied to get us into one war and our trying to lie to get us into another.

After the “Iran is meddling in Iraq” story didn’t work and the “Iran is trying to kill us with nuclear weapons” story fell apart, Bush went fucking crazy and tried to blame a Jewish Community Center bombing in Argentina on Iran. 86 people died in the bombing. Don’t remember it? That’s because it happened in 1994 – but that didn’t stop Bush from trying to pin it on Iran in January 2008.

Wow. Reach much? The Wall Street Journal broke the “story,” but also said the Bush Administration and Israel pushed Interpol to blame Iran. Of course, it was all bullshit.

Have these fucking morons ever learned a lesson? The answer is “No.” Neither have the idiot Republicans and Democrats in Congress, because just as they gave Bush the green light to attack Iraq, they gave him the go ahead to attack Iran.

After the “Iran is going to murder our babies with nuclear weapons” story fell apart, the Bush Administration changed tactics. They focused on Iran’s army: The Republican Guard. The White House claimed the entire Guard were terrorists and pushed Congress to label them as such. Congress went right along with the plan and lawmakers like Hillary Clinton voted to declare the Republican Guard a terrorist organization. Now, Bush has the green light to attack the Republican Guard wherever they are – which coincidentally is ALL OVER IRAN.

Fallon understood this and he was able to see the broader implications of attacking Iran. If you thought Iraq was bad, wait until they unveil Disaster II, Electric Boogaloo.

Thank God the media is around to tackle this enormous story and put it in perspective. I mean, a man was forced to retire and the implications could be that hundreds of thousands of human beings lose their lives.

Go get ‘em, journalists. Please find out if Spitzer used a condom or came on her tummy.

Over six years after the 9/11 attacks - and coincidentally in an election year - charges are finally being brought against those responsible. And surprisingly enough, the evil masterminds have already been in American custody for several years.

In a rare reversal for this administration, not only are the detainees to stand actual trial (albeit military rather than civil), but the

Emphasis added.

The defendants include such notables as Khaled Sheikh Mohammed and the so-called "Twentieth Hijacker," Mohammed al-Qahtani, whose treatments in American custody have been, at best, controversial, and whose confessions are therefore, again at best, dubious.

Indeed, some analysts are already criticizing what they see as perhaps the crowning example of the politicization of the administration's War on Terror.

Such an interpretation, while undeniably cynical, is sadly well-attested by the evidence of the past six and a half years.

Whether this is the last gasp of an overplayed partisan tactic or the defining moment of a generational global conflict will, I suppose, soon be revealed.