9 Things Bruce Campbell Should Be Doing Right Now
Sure, those Old Spice ads are pretty goddamn spectacular (even if that stuff probably smells like Deadite). And I know he's on a new series called "Burn Notice" that I've somehow yet to check out... But, I think we can all agree, it's not enough.
Not by a longshot.
Here then, my 9 suggestions for what I'd rather Bruce Fuckin' Campbell were doing right now.
9) Filming another installment in the The Evil Dead, series. No re-make starring some sissy-come-lately, no re-imagining, no "Ash has a kid played by the Dell Computer guy," none of that.
Just film number four, starring Bruce, a shotgun, and a book wrapped in human flesh.
8) Launching "B" the magazine. If it's good enough for Oprah it is undoubtedly good enough for Bruce Campbell. Diet tips, recipes and monthly book recommendations all from Bruce.
7) Starring in a mid-budget, theatrical release that gets legit promotion from a studio. I'll take anything. Bruce as an: underdog ballplayer, down on his luck PI, accountant with a heart of gold, tow-truck driver with a grudge, librarian who never learned how to read. ANYTHING. I don't care, I won't complain, just do it.
6) Making the oft-rumored, yet-to-be delievered sequel to Bubba Ho-Tep supposedly called Bubba Nosferatu. Bruce vs. vampires. Shit yeah.
5) Making and selling handcrafted, custom belt-buckles. Yep... Maybe this one isn't immediately obvious. Basically, I'd like to be at a party sometime, when a random lady looks me up and down before saying, "Nice belt buckle."
At which point, I'd get to say, "Why thank you... BRUCE CAMPBELL MADE IT." I don't know what would happen at that point. But I can tell you it would be awesome.
4) Fighting crime. Yeah, you heard me. I'm sure you're all like "That is ridiculous. The man is an actor, what could he possibly know about law enforcement. He'd get killed."
Maybe. Or maybe, just maybe, he displays heretofore untapped and unrealized powers of strength, speed, and deductive reasoning. A born crime-fighting machine sending evil tumbling in his fearsome wake and ushering in a new era of peace, civility, and goodwill towards ones neighbor.
I would not put it past him.
3) Filming the above. So it can be made into a project titled, "The Greatest Reality Show of All-Time." Yup.
2) Writing a new book. Either a sequel to How To Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, or maybe another autobiography.
1) Saving the world!! How? Oh, he knows how...
TheCoolerKing is anxiously awaiting the release of "My Name Is Bruce."
Charlotte Hatherley's 'Blue' Period Begins
There are already a batch of exciting new music releases announced for 2007, but one release that should not be over looked is former Ash guitarist Charlotte Hatherley's sparkling sophomore solo album, The Deep Blue, out on March 5th. Hatherley split from Ash last year and spent the summer recording the fresh sounds on Blue in Italy with PJ Harvey drummer Rob Ellis and Producer Eric Drew Feldman, whose awesome resume also includes touring with Harvey as well as having been a member of Captain Beefheart's Magic Band and Pere Ubu, and notably producing the Pixies' Trompe Le Monde. XTC's Andy Partridge also contributed, co-writing the track "Dawn Treader."
Hatherley released the album's first single, "Behave," in December and it's a sickly sweet treat with warbley guitar hooks teetering over Hartherley's sugary delivery of the track's twisted lyrics of submission, desperation and co-dependence. The album follows in the path of the single with Hatherley's excellent and underrated guitar-playing angularly bouncing alongside and against Ellis' non-flashy and on-the-money drums. Feldman's production is roomy which provides Hatherley the freedom to expand on harmonies, which got squashed in the cluttered production of her 2004 solo debut, Grey Will Fade.
Blue's quieter moments are particularly exciting. On the album opener "Cousteau," Hatherley croons ghostly "Ooohs" over a slinky guitar line and twinkling piano to a gorgeous effect just before those "Ooohs" spill over into the next track, "Be Thankful," and continue on through out it's duration. It's a great one-two punch of an album opener with oddly placed percussion in the middle, reminiscent of Kate Bush's The Dreaming**. The album flows nicely from washy and ethereal moments to punchy power-pop-guitar-gallops through out, sometimes in the same song. Charlotte's just plain dark, darkly comic and, at times, hopeful lyrics are delivered deceptively with sweetened tones. It's trick is to slowly seep in, and then not let go.***
Hatherley will release a second single, the brit-poppy "I Want To Know," and begin touring in February, just prior to the album's release.
Announced Tour Dates:
19 Feb 2007
Cypress Avenue Cork, Republic Of Ireland
20 Feb 2007
Roisin Dubh Galway, Republic Of Ireland
21 Feb 2007
Dolans Limerick, Republic Of Ireland
22 Feb 2007
The Village Dublin, Republic Of Ireland
24 Feb 2007
Nerve Centre Londonderry, Northern Ireland
25 Feb 2007
Limelight Belfast, Northern Ireland
27 Feb 2007
Oran Mor Glasgow, Scotland
28 Feb 2007
Academy 2 Liverpool, Merseyside
1 Mar 2007
Cockpit Leeds, West Yorkshire
3 Mar 2007
Academy 2 Birmingham, Midlands
4 Mar 2007
Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth, Hampshire
5 Mar 2007
Zodiac Oxford, Oxfordshire
6 Mar 2007
Islington Academy London, Greater London
Recommended Viewing:
the very cool video for "Behave"
**The writer acknowledges this is his third or fourth "Kate Bush" comment in recent months...oddly, it's just coming up a lot lately. He swears, he's not obsessed or anything!
***I Can't stop listening to "Behave," that guitar hook remains solidly in my head all day. I have to play the song to cure it.