Wanted Trailer, Dead or Alive?
I've been a comic book fan for my entire life. That carries a lot less stigma nowadays, than it did growing up. But that doesn't mean my non-comic fan friends are willing or interested in discussing comics. Except on one occasion.
The only time I can recall this happening was a few years back when Mark Millar's Wanted mini series came out. Several of my non-reader pals were not only willing to talk about it, but anxiously awaiting each new issue.
I'm not sure why the comic was able to crossover like it was. I mean, it was a great book, but so were plenty of other titles. The comic told the story of a stepped-on nobody who very quickly discovers the means to change his life. That's about as vague as I can make it.
The first thing that stood out about the comic was its over the top violence. The second was its awesomeness (its unique premise and its use of classic comic book archetypes. I won't say anymore.) The third was probably the fact that most of the main characters conveniently resembled actors. The Wesley character was clearly based on Eminem. Surprisingly, this didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Nothing against ol' Marshall Mathers, his music's fine, I just don't need to read about his exploits in a comic... or, anywhere.
Even worse was the female lead who resembled Halle Berry. Holy shit, was she really going to ruin another comic character? Two wasn't enough? She's done more damage to the Marvel Universe than Thanos the Titan. (For non-comic fans, Thanos is basically a likable Charles Manson, without the swastika, and made out of stone. Don't worry, he's dead... Thanos is, Chuck is still around, I think.) Also, Wesley's dad looked an awful lot like Tommy Lee Jones.
Here's the trailer for the Wanted movie.
I'm disappointed that the "super-heroes" aspect has been replaced by "assassins" because, well, most movies have assassins in them. But, Angelina Jolie replacing Berry is a step up and the trailer has a Morgan Freeman voiceover, which is nice. (I realize the movie probably won't have one.)
As demonstrated by about one third of the movies being made today, a Morgan Freeman voiceover makes everything better. You put a shit sandwich down in front of me I wouldn't have the slightest interest in it. However, if Morgan's deep, soothing voice suddenly exploded out of the stillness of my apartment to say "That shit sandwich in front of me meant only one thing... that all the rest of the sandwichs had..." Fuck, I bet you by the time he was done yapping I'd have eaten the sandwich.
By the way, if someone asks you if you wanna be the sheep or the wolf, you should first weigh the chances of that person being able to slap you in the face, if those chances are low, you should then answer with an animal bigger than a wolf. Like say "Me? Oh, I'm a grizzly bear." Or "I'm a komodo dragon." Make sure to limit your choices to aggresive, larger-than-wolf animals, though. Saying you're a dolphin doesn't really buy you much.
This looks good, but it'd look more gooder if everyone was wearing capes. And Tommy Lee Jones better have a cameo.
TheCoolerKing buys his comics at the legendary Golden Apple on Melrose... where he's been secretly plotting to steal their "Radd" Silver Surfer statue.
Needled News by Marisa DiMattia
I've been obsessed with celebrity tattoos lately. They're inescapable. I've seen clients walk into tattoo studios brandishing CD covers, wrestling magazines, and Perez Hilton print-outs. Online tattoo forums flame over whether it's cool to get Bam Magera's body art. And the news headlines, well, they taunt me.
All I want to do is sit back and reflect upon the national repercussions of the Scooter Libby trial, but then Robbie Williams busts outta rehab with a new tattoo and I'm forced to take stock of this momentous event.
By getting love tattooed across his knuckles on his right hand, what is Robbie telling us? Did he find God's love in detox? Or was he lonely and relegated to self-love? I'd also like to know what it is about rehab that drives people to the tattoo studio. Not once, but twice, we witnessed America's train wreck begging for the needle after stays in luxury treatment centers.
It's not like these celebs are going Straight Edge. The booze-filled post-tattoo partying does not indicate a non-tox trend, and I don't see tattoos like these catching on in Hollywood.
Instead, many actors and musicians--you know, creative types--search the depths of their platinum souls for body art that speaks for them, illustrating their very essence. Here's what they come up with: the backside bow, the mini wings, the forearm dice, and of course, the scratcher portrait of your TrimSpa suga-mama.
Ok, I'll accept that last one. Being Anna Nicole's bitch was limited in its lucrativeness. However, there's no excuse for multi-platinum artists, even if they are straight outta Compton.
The Game, aka Jayceon Tylor, refuses to pay for his tattoos--and it shows. ContactMusic.com quotes the rapper on his body decoration decisions:
"My tattoos are always free, man. I can pretty much walk in anywhere I fancy and they'll do one for free. If they're not, I'm walking out. [...] "I don't know how many I've got. S**t, I stopped counting after, like, the first two. I don't plan them. I just wake up with the idea and I go in that day."
I wouldn't call it sage tattoo advice but, then again, I aint gangsta. I suppose it's a g-thang: Money. Cash. Hoes. Sub-par body art.
In other headlines, Nylon magazine's March issue featured the fabulous Christina Ricci on the cover with the tag "Tattooed Rebel or Girl Next Door?", which I thought was funny as most of Ricci's patchwork tattoos were covered in the photo except some small blur on her ankle. Now Ricci's got a number of tattoos and a kick-ass style but I wouldn't trumpet her as the tattoo rebel darling. This crown clearly goes to Saint Angelina, and who among us here is not on Team Jolie?
Finally, in this needled celeb round-up, I'd like to welcome my fave comedian/activist/rapper Margaret Cho into the loving arms of freakdom. She's just added another beautiful Japanese inspired tattoo to her fabulous collection, which includes an Ed Hardy piece that winds around her belly-dancing waist. Her latest work of art is by Andrew Moore of Shogun Tattoo in Pasadena, CA.
Photo by Ian Harvie.
I'm hoping more celebrities show the same tattoo intelligence and not treat ink as swag. Free does not necessarily equal good. If more beautiful artwork adorned the bodies of tabloid staples, perhaps tattooing as fine art would become a trend, not a post-rehab adventure.
Marisa_DiMattia is a lawyer and editor of Needled.com, a blog on tattoo art and culture.
Angelina Jolie Tours Refugee Camps in New Delhi
On Saturday, Angelina Jolie and her five-year-old son Maddox visited an Afghan Sikh refugee camp in New Delhi, India. Jolie, a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, chatted with refugee families and visited schools, speaking with students and listening to the kids play religious music.
"I am grateful to the refugee families who spent time with me and shared their stories. They are remarkable, courageous people," the statement quoted the 31-year-old actress as saying.
Jolie visited the home of a refugee woman from Myanmar to see the living conditions endured by the woman and her three children.
The woman, one of the 1,750 refugees who have fled Myanmar to India since 1982, told Jolie that she and her children left after her husband was arrested by the military government in Myanmar, the statement said.
Myanmar-India relations turned cold after the Myanmar military violently suppressed pro-democracy demonstrations in 1988, but relations have warmed in the past few years.
During her tour, Jolie met with Indias Junior External Affairs Minister, Anand Sharma, and praised his countries efforts in helping refugees.
"The wonderful thing that I have learned since I have been in India is there are many, many needs for your own people and yet you have all been so gracious and been so open to so many refugees over the years," Jolie told reporters.
"I have also since I have been here spent time with Indian people and we spoke about concerns for disabled people, children and orphans," she said after meeting with Sharma.
Jolie has returned back to Pune, India, where she will continue to film the Daniel and Mariane Pearl story, A Mighty Heart.
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Angelina Officially Adopts Shakira
In a major grandpa-faux pas, Angelina Jolies father Jon Voight forgot the name of his grandchild. When asked by a television crew last week if he would like to send birthday wishes out to his grandson Maddox, grandpa Voight complied, babbling to five year old Maddox that he was a big boy now. After the fuel ran out of that warm wish, he moved on to a greeting for his other adopted grandchild, Zahara. Perhaps Jolie forgot to send her father a birth announcement, because Voight referred to the child by the name of Latin recording artist, Shakira.
Voight: Maddox just had a birthday. Happy birthday, Maddox! 5 years oldits a big one! Youre getting to be a young man, and I send my love to you. And send my love to
uh
Shakira
and
Shahira
[To reporter] Is it Shakira or Shahira?
Reporter: Zahara.
Voight: Shahara! Shahara!
Hopefully this incident will ensure Zahara a bigger piece of grandpas inheritance.
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Angelina Jolie Continues to Dodge Daddy
Despite many apologies, Angelina Jolie never forgave her dad for calling her crazy. A few years ago, Jon Voight proclaimed his daughter had serious mental problems.
He told Access Hollywood at the time: "I haven't come forward and addressed the serious mental problems she has spoken about so candidly to the press over the years, but I've tried behind the scenes in every way."
The two remained estranged, and Jolie clearly isnt ready to forget about those comments; at a birthday party for actor Scott Caan, the actress and her baby daddy, Brad Pitt, went to extremes to avoid a run in with Voight.
The ultimate celebrity couple spent a half-hour sitting in their car out side the party after learning that Voight was in side. Pitt finally went in by him self to pay respects to Caan, his co-star in Ocean's 11 and Ocean's 12. Moments after Pitt's arrival, his presumptive father-in-law left the party, paving the way for Jolie to enter through a back door.
To all fathers out there: daughters are fragile creatures. Be careful with the public discussion of their emotional issues. Be especially careful discussing these issues during TV interviews with Access Hollywood
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Angelina Jolie to Don 'Sin City' Fishnets
An old rumor has picked up steam again, courtesy of Sin City badass Rosario Dawson.
At Comic-Con, Dawson let it slip that Angelina Jolie is definitely, possibly, hopefully joining the babe roster of SC2.
"It's all hush-hush but it may feature Angelina Jolie, it might be called A Dame To Die For and it may be shooting at the beginning of next year."
Besides Dawson, the bevy of Sin City beauties set to reprise their roles includes Jessica Alba, Devon Aoki, Jaime King and Brittany Murphy.
After Jolies heavy role as Marianne Pearl (wife of slain journalist Daniel Pearl), itll be nice to see her packing a pistol again. And back in that comfortable leather.
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Snapping Brangelina
Remember that part in every cop movie when the criminal flees the state, thus eluding bumbling local authorities? That may work for rapists and murderers, but take a picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and the fuzz will track you down faster than you can say "cheese."
That's right, police in Western Massachussetts have seized a digital camera in a sting operation, completed with the cooperation of the LAPD, which began in Namibia and ended 7,000 miles away in the tiny New England town of Westfield. Apparently the camera held three photos of the couple - gasp! - standing around and laughing. These pics were released on the internet last week, causing the wrath of Brangelina and the men in blue who do their evil bidding for them. And while no one has yet been charged with a crime, you better believe the force won't sleep until this amateur photographer is brought to justice.
Maybe after that, they can get back to the actual criminals.
Jerry Springer May Not Have Fathered Shiloh Nouvel, But He Couldn't Have Written This Better Himself
There are some people who believe that we choose our parents--that our souls actually pre-order the units before physically manifesting here on earth. If they're right, then Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt got swindled. I mean, really: imagine you're just a wee spirit floating about in the ether. You've chosen your parents, and gosh-darnit, you've done a pretty good job. Rich: check. Beautiful: check. Famous: check. You yourself are all of these things before even crowning (or being yanked from your sexy mother's slashed womb Cesarian-style, in this case). Wouldn't you be pretty bummed if after all of that careful planning, you heard that your father wasn't necessarily People Magazine's two-time sexiest man, Brad Pitt?
Such is the latest supermarket checkout gossip.
The Oscar-winning beauty told pals that she slept with another man before getting pregnant, says the insider, and that's when she confided her fear about baby Shiloh's paternity.
In a stunning world exclusive interview, the insider also reveals the actress has been petrified Brad will leave her if the baby is not his and she's desperate to keep him away from his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston.
Next headlines: "Baby Shiloh Sues for Paternity Fraudulence Damages" and "Baby Shiloh Trademarks Phrase: Who's Your Daddy?"
