I’ve written before about how much I hate other parents, right? Hold on, let me rifle through my essays past and double check… …vicodin…lesbian porn…my...

O Dear friends! What a prolonged spell! What a gap! Where has the laughter gone? Why the tears? Why the tears, baby? You know I’d never mean to hurt...

The First-Ever “Rob is in a movie being released this weekend” Movie Review! I play a small but fun role in a hilarious movie opening this Friday called...

Things I can see from seat 6A: I see a woman. She’s dressed in a yellow blazer like they used to wear on ABC sports back in the seventies. She’s about...

The Line, Eleven-Year-Old-Girls, Racism, Rape, Poo-Poo… I was in line by 4:30, standing behind two eleven-year-old girls. I laughed out loud when I saw...

Yesterday morning I observed my usual procrastination ritual before settling down to work. I ate a Luna Bar (I am 100% straight), IM’d my friend Jason,...

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! With Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton hogging the bad-girl spotlight, one party hopper has managed to limbo under the paparazzi’s plumb-line.

My brother Nate and I went to Boston this weekend to host a benefit for local autistic children. We HATE autism. We hate everything about it. Everything.

“They have really dry hair from the chlorine, they have poor complexions from all the sun and they have the shadow of my middle finger stretching across...

“Every second is a miracle,” he said, attempting to flip through the newer Baby Einstein videos while navigating around the three-month-old strapped to...

Good to see you. We met at that thing. For the kids. No, I’m not sure if Shari Belefonte was there… Do you like her? I can introduce. Yeah, it’s...

Ah, the minds of babes! So full, and yet, so preposterously empty! My three nieces are visiting my wife and me for a few days. They are staying in a...

Mal Biederman wasn’t Jewish, though her looks and surname would have had you thinking otherwise. She had olive skin, a pronounced nose and blue-grey eyes...

Hey. It’s your best friend here. The guy that’s always pushing you to do some bonkers shit? Aren’t you glad you have me around? I mean would you really...

“The TV Corner” The Shreveport Daily Trumpeter written by: Stutz Blackhawk The new Fox sitcom The Winner is anything but! That is to say, upon watching...

The following is the second in a series of excerpts that SuicideGirls is running from the now-famous interview Rob Corddry gave Playboy Magazine back in...

The following is an excerpt from the now-famous interview Rob Corddry gave Playboy magazine back in 1977. He was candid, personal, challenging and a little...

So you’ve murdered someone, huh? Well, you’ve just gained entrance to a varied, distinct and very exclusive club, more secret than Skull and Bones and...

From the Editor: Having been this year’s recipient of Yale University’s prestigious Bollingen Prize for poetry, it has been announced that two of Rob...

When it is my privilege to be working on a motion picture I often keep a journal of the process, both for posterity and so that, someday, young aspiring...

It was late but I was still at my desk. I had a hunch. I was waiting for something. Someone. Anything. Anyone. Outside, the rain hung in sheets as...

Every hotel in Vegas smells like an unfiltered Pine Tree air freshener cigarette. Even the nice ones. I’m staying at The Venetian, which never fails...

Author's note: Soho Rep used to produce most of my plays. They were a daring company though by no means as cutting edge as, say, The Wooster Group.

This holiday season it is important for those of us who write weekly columns to let our fans know that our pure minds are full of Christmas wishes. So,...

“Welcome to the GQ Men of the Year Awards. And now, in keeping with the spirit of the magazine, please join me for twenty minutes of flipping past fashion...

My wife is Extreme. She’s XXXtreme. She’s ik-'streem! When you are as Extreme as my wife you must have an outlet for all that Extremity. If you let...

It’s supposed to get up to ninety today. I miss New York. Fuck. Should I get drunk? Should I put on different sweatpants? It’s so hot in here. What...

Ever heard the phrase “You break it, you buy it?” Well guess what? I broke Punk Rock. That’s right, it was me. Now, once that reality has burrowed...

I spent a good part of my childhood habitually masturbating to Kelly Ripa. In the mid-eighties there was small dance show on The USA network called “Dance...

Halloween is the karaoke of holidays. It’s for people who normally don’t get to use the “costume” side of their brains. These people usually like...

I get real depressed every time I wet my pants. It’s textbook. I stay in bed all day, cut off all my friends, eat nothing but ice cream, and write bad...

You assholes have no idea how hard it is being a Dad. You have no idea at all. I wish you did. I wish you could walk a mile in my shoes! You’d look...

Chiropractors have huge cocks. Everyone knows that. I mean, how else could they sling all that fruity bullshit and still feel good about themselves? ...

If you’re going to Africa on a humanitarian mission to fight AIDS, don’t take AirTran*. We all want AIDS to be history but eighteen hours of airplane...