SuicideGirls Group Therapy: Zombie Hunters
by Tarion Suicide
A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.
[Tarion Suicide in Kiss the Machine]
This week, in preparation for the coming apocalypse, Tarion Suicide gives us the 411 on SG's Zombie Hunters Group.
Members: 2,824 / Comments: 20,073
- WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: This group has threads covering everything you need to know about zombies and the impending apocalypse. It ensures that every member has a "zombie plan" and the best possible chance of survival. Members discuss everything from the best choice of weapons to the most effective safe house. If you're into zombies you will find info on the best books, games, movies, and TV shows right here!
- DISCUSSION TIP: This is a fun group, so don't be too serious.
- BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “Do not set zombies on fire! They will run around and catch everything else on fire!”
- MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: The Walking Dead! Official TV Thread - everyone has an opinion on this show!
- WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: All those who want to survive the zombie apocalypse.
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SuicideGirls Group Therapy - Satya on Hip-Hop
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Tovi on Veggie
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Aadie on Suicide Boys
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Haydin on Ballet
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SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Thistle on Yuppie Scum
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Eden on Tattoo
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy – Damsel on Dreadlocks
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Chrysis on Itty Bitty Titty Committee
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Otoki on Feminists
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Zephyr on Doctor Who
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Ryker on Harry Potter
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Bradley on The Kitchen
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Apple on All Your Base Are Belong To Us
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Setsuka on Ass Appreciation
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Noir on The Kitchen
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Exning on Body Mods
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Ceres on Girls Only
SuicideGirls’ Group Therapy - Frolic on Celeb Worship
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Cheri on Skateboarders
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Noir on SG Military
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Exning on Weight Loss
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SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Eevie, Luffy, and Praesepe on SG420
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - All on Urban Art
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Clio on Hardcore Music
SuicideGirls' Group Therapy - Epiic on Hirsute
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Confessions Of A Hardcore Gamer: The Rise of My Nightmares –– That I’ll Be Petting Kinect Puppies Long After Sega’s Zombie Horde Goes To Ground
by Bob Suicide
Being the old man that I am, I remember gaming back when we used simple controllers with a limited amount of buttons, sat on our butts for days on end –– without a single save point in sight –– and I liked it. When DDR came out, I was suspicious of this "new" interactive format, and wholeheartedly believed it was part of some giant government conspiracy to get me off my couch. Not being particularly "rhythmically coordinated," the government's devious plot failed.
However, little did I know that this set a dangerous precedent, and that something far greater was looming on the horizon of interactive gaming: the Wii. I was actually working at GameStop when the Wii came out. Those were dangerous times on the front lines of the war of retailers vs. consumers. Many a man was lost, either trampled by the hordes of moms trying to bag "the ultimate Christmas gift" or nagged to death with the sonic onslaught of "is it in yet?"
But, after the dust settled and we finished mourning the loss of our beloved brethren, the Wii didn't really live up to the hype. Ok, I know that's not an entirely accurate statement to make considering the sales of the Wii and the ground it has made in expanding the casual gaming market. But, as a hardcore gamer, has the Wii ever really provided a satisfying gaming experience? Not really. Sure, Zelda was fun and the console lends itself well to rails shooters like Resident Evil. However, I have two Wiis and I can say with certainty that mine have been used as doorstops more than they have served as relevant gaming consoles.
Needless to say, when the PS3 Move was released it seemed like Sony had missed the marketing mark yet again, since their sad "EyeToy with a wand" failed to capture the hearts and minds of the consumer the way the Wii did. And I joyously snarked –– as any fanboy does –– at their lame attempts to regain relevancy.
So when the Kinect made its debut I sneered at the projections people were making. And I wasn't alone. Even Penny Arcade gods Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins scoffed at the idea of a motion-sensitive gaming experience that could galvanize the hardcore market.
Even upon playing with Kinect at E3 I was not converted. There was no amount of cute animals that I could pet that would keep me from insulting what I saw as a "glorified peripheral" that was sure to fade from gaming relevance as soon as it was released.
Surprisingly robust sales proved us curmudgeons wrong, but it still didn't make us like the motion-sensitive gaming genre. However the potential for the Kinect outside the gaming world was interesting. Wii and Kinect were fun at parties, and great for making fools of casual gamers, but the ability to pet ponies all day long never circumvented the desire to capture the flag or fragg 12-year olds online. It would take a powerful, adult title to replace those joys.
House of the Dead: Overkill almost did it for me. The Grindhouse-esque addition to the franchise that I knew and loved was a welcomed adult addition to the over-abundance of candy-coated titles available for the Wii. But at its core, the rails shooter wasn't enough of a "heavy hitter" to win me over. And, after I beat it, I quickly lost interest in my Wii once again...never to return.
However, Sega and the pre-Overkill team behind House of the Dead seems to be hitting the nail on the head with the upcoming survival horror game, Rise of Nightmares. I was able to preview the game myself at a recent screening event and I was surprised that I went home excited by my gaming experience. The gameplay is contextual and immersive. Taken off the rails, the player is able to freely navigate and interact with the environment, and the environment is filled with a host of horrific denizens. Rise of Nightmares is the first "adult" game for the Kinect, and while people often scoff at the over-abundance of blood, undead, and implements of destruction, I for one love the clear tongue-in-cheek homage to the slasher/torture horror genre.
So how does all of this come together? Well, upon playing the Rise of Nightmares demo, my heart grew an unprecedented three sizes that day.
In the middle of my Kinect-piphany, I was reminded of the joy I had playing Heavy Rain. It's titles like these that I hope and pray will revolutionize the gaming experience. Titles that find the perfect blend of engrossment and interaction (placing the gamer both in and amid the game and reality) to create a new and exciting gaming experience. However there’s all too few of these. After experiencing titles like Rise of Nightmares and Heavy Rain, I can see where other developers can take the hardcore gaming experience –– and the true immersion that could be had –– and I get excited.
Three months post-Heavy Rain, playing through my next interactive fiction purchase, Alan Wake, I was disappointed that my contextual interaction with the environment did not have the same resonance that Heavy Rain did. I was ruined for life. When I pressed "x" to grind some coffee for example, I was disappointed, since I felt that winding my analog joystick in a "grinding" motion would have immensely added to my gaming experience. But, sadly, Heavy Rain failed to influence the gaming market the way I expected/wanted it to.
I therefore hope Rise of Nightmares gets the recognition it deserves, that my excitement for this title is shared by others, and as a result my predictions regarding the game’s rightful place and subsequent effect on the gaming world come true. But given my track record, I may be grudgingly petting more Kinect puppies in my future than zombies. And that's a damn shame.
***
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The Geek's Guide to Getting Down Vol. 1 (A Brief Introduction)
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Classic Set of The Day: GoGo - The Fortified School
Classic Set of the Day:
GoGo - The Fortified School
GOGO, a school girl who can pack a punch, and knows how to use a semi-automatic. Her deadliest weapon though is her looks. This girl is not only tough, she is one of the most breathtaking women on the planet.
5 Minute Fiction: Ice Cream Trucks And Zombie Clowns
by Brandon Perkins
It probably wasn’t the smartest move to get in the ice cream truck and go — especially with the needle nearing “E”— sometimes though waiting just don’t cut it. We may have been safe inside that garage, but that safety only felt temporary: the zombie clowns kept gathering and it was only a matter of time before they found a way in. Once we broke through the garage door, it took approximately 2.5 seconds for us to run over the first of those smiling undead, red-nosed motherfuckers. This one’s hair had sprouted into an orange frizz that splattered on the ice cream truck’s windshield and his stretched-long floppy foot snapped off at the ankle under our back right wheel, steaming a fuscia-colored mist in the rear view mirror. My day had already gotten better.
“They’re everywhere!” my girlfriend screamed. “Do we have enough gas to outrun them? What if we get a flat tire? Can they get in here? Do these doors lock? What happens if they get in here?”
I didn’t answer, instead choosing just to drive and maim as many zombie clowns as I could. Their disease-stuck smiles infuriated me. The way their pigment-sucked skin flaked into a powder and clashed with swollen red lips, it mocked humanity. It mocked the very characteristic that the disease had stolen from them. I was too angry to worry. My girlfriend was right about one thing though, the possibility of a flat tire made me a little nervous. At the rate their swollen heads, hands, feet, and bellies were bursting below the ice cream truck, something was bound to blow. With each jarring jolt that lurched the truck and its contents—namely my girlfriend, her daughter and myself—I hoped with all my still-beating heart that each pop wasn’t rubber but the explosion of zombie clown flesh. So far so good.
[Pill in Hunger]
So far so good, until a clown jumped up on the passenger side footing and my girlfriend shrieked while shielding little June Bug. Somewhere in the middle of her piercing monosyllable, she asked me what to do. The clown shined his sharp teeth and violently bit into the window repeatedly, fortunately to no avail but the streaks of undead blood and the rhythm of loud, knocking thuds were alarming. Reaching behind my seat for anything long and hard, I laughed at myself after saying “pause.”
“Pause, what?”
“Nevermind,” I said. “Here, take this and roll down the window a bit. Then jab the fucker right in the throat.”
They were weak in the throat and she took the broken broom handle and did just as I suggested. It was the first time I remembered her complying without the slightest of lip. I enjoyed it, but not nearly as much as the family of three clowns my ice cream truck ran down. I had a kill count of 25 and that plateau (which was surely going to be a mountain before the end of the road) officially made the truck mine. That I looted it from the economy’s suicide and society’s collapse no longer mattered. Killing clowns did and killing clowns is what I was doing. And Saffron got her first kill after the one she jabbed in the throat fell under our wheel.
“We need some killing music!” I shouted. “I gotta have something better on my iPod. I don’t need Rage Against the Machine or anything, but I’m not sure that François Hardy is gonna do it either. Oh! Unless you can find that one song with Jimmy Page, I can’t pronounce it — oh shit, did you see that clown’s head fall off on that mirror?— but baby, you know what song I’m talking about.”
“You really need that song right now?”
“I don’t need any specific song, I need to hear something that isn’t these clown heads under our tires. Well, I want to hear that, just not without some accompaniment.”
“I need something relaxing, all you have is fucking rap on this iPod. What’s wrong with you? June Bug is scared, she doesn’t need that street shit making her anymore anxious.”
“Mommy! My ears,” June Bug said, pointing to her ears.
“Yeah, see? June Bug is more worried about your language and argumentative nature than these silly circus freaks. She could take on 150 of them and live to tell the tale.”
“Hundred-fifty and live to tell the tale, Mommy.”
“Sorry about my potty mouth, June Bug,” she said before turning back to me. “But I’m not argumentative…whatever…how dare you. Just listen to your rap and get us out of here.”
That’s when the gas light turned on. I had never driven this particular ice cream truck before, or any commercial vehicle at all, but we were depending on its fuel to last the four remaining miles that were needed to get out of dodge. It was only a guess that those effected by the disease would be fewer and farther between outside of the city limits, but moving felt a whole hell of a lot better than just sitting there. Especially when movement included a whole trail of dead clowns.
The trail was piling higher every few seconds and all the smiling faces, decorated in disease and death, were starting to blend together. The occasional fat clown provided a noticeable change of events, rocking the ice cream truck with significantly more violence, and the child clowns momentarily reminded us of their former humanity, but the miles of unnatural skin color and deceiving laughter became nothing more than another patch of empty suburban houses. One foreclosed complex was just as impressionable as one giggling zombie, while I just tried to avoid the former and destroy the latter. While we were trapped in that garage and could hear their taunts from outside, I never thought that running over those clown motherfuckers with an ice cream truck could be boring — but it was starting to get that way.
At least until we hit the city center, where the clowns suddenly seemed to possess an increased ingenuity. I quickly started to miss that boredom. Somewhere between the Wal-Mart and the City Hall, they began attaching themselves to and then attacking the ice cream truck at an exponentially frenzied rate. I could see their fat hands and rosy noses in every piece of glass and hear their banging on every side of aluminum. It easily drowned out whatever rap song I wished wasn’t on my playlist.
“Well, June Bug,” I shouted and strained, “are you ready to take out your 150? Why don’t you guys find some weapons back there? Popsicles probably aren’t going to cut it.”
[Pill in Hunger]
I quickly swerved the truck and felt it go up on two wheels before skidding back to the asphalt and shaking off a half dozen zombie clowns. The remaining bastards that managed to keep their hold on the ice cream truck were howling with laughter, maniacally escalating like a clan of underfed hyenas. That’s when the sliding window was finally smashed. Clad in a purple spotted shirt, I caught a glimpse of the clown wiggling his way inside the truck while my girlfriend and little June Bug wailed on him with broom sticks. He just kept laughing and I wondered if his silly shirt was donned before or after he came down with the disease that had brought upon this apocalypse.
“This isn’t working, can’t you do something? Hurry, he’s getting inside!”
“I’m driving, what do you want me to do? If we stop it’ll only get worse,” I gasped. “Aim for his throat.”
The clown then fell onto the floor, his laughter echoing inside the empty ice cream cabinets. His squeal continued even as my girlfriend was twisting the broken broom handle as it pierced his neck. The fuscia mist that used to be human blood was filling the ice cream truck. Within 90 seconds, I couldn’t see through the mist and realized that breathing it in was probably enough to finally catch the highly contagious disease. It’d take a few days before we knew for sure, so the more immediate problem was not being able to see the road. Opening the windows wasn’t an option, as the banging and knocking never ceased, and one “bleeding” clown was better than a handful of hungry ones.
“He’s dead—”
“Again?”
“Yeah, smart ass, this time for real, but I can’t see anything back here. June Bug, are you okay?”
“I’m scared, Mommy.”
“I know, baby. We’ll be okay.”
And then we weren’t. I’m not sure that we had hit a corpulent clown or some other road block, but the ice cream truck flipped and skidded on its side. When we came to a stop, everything was eerily silent for a few seconds. It was like no one involved in this dangerous farce could believe their luck or our lack of it. June Bug started to cry. And then her mother. The laughing got louder and some of the fuscia mist had dispersed through the broken windows. A zombie clown whose head looked bigger than my torso was on top of me before I had a chance to orient myself and unbuckle my seat belt. I guess we never really had chance to make it out of dodge.
Canuck Zombie to Save World on July 17
Once-dead Canuck Shelley Yates believes that otherworldly voices have guided her since her water-logged body and that of her son were pulled from the chilly Halifax lake in which they drowned and were resuscitated. The voices guided Shelley through the following days, as her son, declared brain dead, slowly returned to normal functioning.
Now, believing that with the help of her guides, she was able to cure her son, Shelley has her eye on a bigger prize. She wants to "jump start" the planet. Psychically.
How do we do this you ask? The time has been set for July 17, 2007 at 11:11 Greenwich Mean Time. I have been given no indication about why this date and time have been chosen, but this date has been told to me over and over again. I have been asked to bring together as many humans as possible, throughout the world from every corner of the globe, to simply sit and pray or meditate for one hour during that time. Hopefully, with your help, we will amass a union of humans, such as the world has never seen. Loving humans with one intention - to heal our planet and awaken our souls to our true purpose
to become one with our Source of Light.
Nutty? Probably. And excuse to sell new-age CDs by her favorite band? Undoubtedly. But, if you aren't doing anything better at 4 am, I can't imagine it could hurt.
Watch the Canuck Zombie tell her story in these YouTube clips from her speech on Vancouver Island on May 29, 2007:
Hideo Kojima Describes Zombie MMO Idea
Hideo Kojima has been working hard on the next installment to the Metal Gear series, but that hasn't stopped the man from pondering his next project.
It was recently reported that the acclaimed Japanese game designer had outlined an idea for a massively multilayer, online zombie game. However, if players are to take the man's idea seriously, the cost to play the game could be a hundred times that of World of Warcraft, literally.
"The zombie idea I have is a bit different. Imagine a large town where half the inhabitants are zombies. Users would subscribe, get inside the town and get bitten. At that stage they become undead and can't control their character - all they can do is modify the camera angles... They'd see their character attacking humans and have to pay just to watch! The only way they could end it is by opening another account, hunting themselves down and killing themselves. Of course, the problem is that your second character can get bitten as well," said Kojima.
The concept of using an alternate character to save a primary one could prove quite ingenious, but at what price? Imagine having to pay an extra 10 dollars for every character that is bitten by the undead. Surely, gamers can expect to have free alternates available to them at a reasonable monthly charge, but it will be interesting to see how this pans out if and when Kojima decides to further develop this idea.
Sexy Zombie Hoedown: Marvel Zombies and More
Unrepentant appreciators of the undead rejoice! Halloween may be over, but the reign of the zombie (the working man's vampire, or the blue-collar mummy) is not. Hot on the shambling, maggot infested heels of SG's very own zombie-themed photo set is a coming wave of zombie entertainment that'll blow your mind and then maybe nibble on it a little afterwards. Lock away your children and small animals, because it won't be safe to go outside.
First up is a sequel to 28 Days Later dubbed 28 Weeks Later. According to imdb.com, the follow up to the picture that dared to ask, "What if zombies were speedy?" will follow the Americans as they attempt to repopulate London following the supposed end of the "Rage" epidemic. Faster than they can put up the "Mission Accomplished" banner, though, a carrier of the highly problematic plague appears out of nowhere and sets off a second outbreak that threatens to engulf the city once again.
Unfortunately, 28 Weeks Later will feature neither the unusually pretty Jim (Cillian Murphy) nor the directorial talents of Danny Boyle. While a sequel retaining neither the director nor the cast of its predecessor usually sets off a few alarms, though, the recently released test footage of the film carries some appeal. At the very least, the movie will be another chance to spend a couple of hours watching people get eaten. And who knows, maybe at the end you'll learn a valuable lessons about how humans are the real monsters .
If you're looking for even more unorthodox zombies than the ones offered by the 28 Days trilogy (the first film was the scariest), though, then gaze no further than the upcoming follow-ups to Robert Kirkman's Marvel Zombies mini-series. Maybe it was Spider-Man whining about eating Aunt May or the look on Bruce Banner's face as he realized that his stomach couldn't hold the leg he'd swallowed whole as the Hulk, but for some reason comic geeks of the world fell in love with Marvel Zombies and bought so many issues and re-issues that sequels were inevitable. And, as you can see, there are sequels aplenty.
In addition to something as obvious as Marvel Zombies 2, fans of rotting flesh spilling out of spandex will also enjoy a prequel called Marvel Zombies: Dead Days and, perhaps most exciting of all, an inter-company crossover entitled Marvel Zombies Vs. The Army of Darkness. That's right, amidst all the childhood icons mutilating each other and their loved ones as they transform the dazzling utopia of a world with super-heroes into some kind of foul, fecal mess will be lowly Ash Williams of Evil Dead fame, trying to make it home following a mishap in his own comic series.
Though inter-company crossovers are generally awkward, a combination of the Marvel Zombies and Army of Darkness properties seems more natural than most.
It is absolutely a Marvel Zombies story, and it is absolutely an Army of Darkness story. Fortunately, I think there is a lot of overlap, because they both contain a generous (even excessive) heaping of humor with horror, comedy with the grotesque. This is a story of a guy who is used to fighting the undead, who is used to being a hero, flung into a strange universe full of heroes
heroes who are not only all crazed flesh-eating zombies, but ones with hundreds of different crazy super-powers.
How's a guy with a chainsaw, a shotgun, and a smart mouth supposed to survive that?
]But for Marvel Zombies fans, it's another look into the hilariously twisted world of man-eating zombie superheroes, Layman explained, shown from almost a Marvels-style man-on-the-street perspective as the infection spreads out of control. Only, in this case, the man-on-the-street happens to be Ashley J. Williams, vanquisher of the Necromonmicon's Army of Darkness, who defeated evil in several different millennia in several different realities. Now he's in the Marvel U. It's him and his chainsaw vs. hundred of zombie superheroes...
And Ash doesn't plan on taking any $#!+!
Finally, if all of that wasn't enough for you, there's still one more item to watch out for. Due out in November, it's Zombies v.s. Robots #1. An obvious love letter to the pirates v.s. ninjas and "my dad could beat up your dad" crowd, Zombies v.s. Robots follows a group of clankety-clanks as they move through the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse while carrying humanity's last chance for survival.
It's tech prowess meets undead mayhem! In this special two-part tale of carnage from the Eisner Award-nominated team of artist Ashley Wood (Popbot) and writer Chris Ryall (The Great and Secret Show), a post-apocalyptic world overrun by zombies has only one chance at recovery- a team of robots that must protect and clone a lone surviving human baby. They just need to do this amidst the endless hordes of zombies who have been driven rabid by their frustration at inedible bots and their lust to eat the one living brain left on the planet. This special 24-page story will feature two special covers, one zombie and one robot, from artist Wood.
Leave it to a bunch of robots to forget that you need two humans to repopulate the Earth.
With all these promising new releases, one need look no further than around the corner for the next source of zombie entertainment. Why, there might even be one at the end of this post...
SuicideGirls Halloween Photoset: Free to the Public!
For the first time ever, SuicideGirls is making a very special Halloween Photoset FREE to the public. If you are over 18, click here to see the FREE Gallery. What better way to celebrate this devilishly delightful holiday than with a truly terrifying zombie set featuring a classic SuicideGirl?
Diner of Death is the SuicideGirls take on the anti-comic movement of the early '50s. Evil, gruesome, shocking, and ridiculously sexy, it will get you in the mood for tricks and treats of all kinds.
Chris Gores Footage Fetishes: Walk Like a Zombie
Halloween is the best holiday of all because the celebration requires dressing in a costume and getting drunk. And if youre like me, youve probably been a zombie at some point because youre a fan of the dead. Im talking about the films of George A. Romero of course.
Hardcore fans know Romero as not only a master of horror but also the creator of the zombie movie genre. In fact, he invented the rules of the zombie universe. And you know them all too well zombies feed on living flesh, you must shoot them in the head to kill them, if bitten by a zombie, you will soon turn into one yourself... etc
But what sets his films apart is that each of his undead epics has a social message wrapped within. The 1968 original Night of the Living Dead is really about racial turmoil in the South during the 1960s. Dawn of the Dead has a particularly meaty subtext involving consumerism in the 1980s the characters trapped in the mall have everything their hearts desire, money, clothes, guns, stuff, yet they are still unhappy. Day of the Dead is about an out of control military industrial complex. Romeros most recent; Land of the Dead explores issues involving the growing class war and immigration. He doesnt hammer the audience over the head with these themes, which is why his Dead movies stand up to repeated viewings.
The original Night of the Living Dead is about racial turmoil in the 1960s.
Now I dont want to sound like a snob, but I can spot a fake zombie walking from a mile away. When I see someone during Halloween dressed as a zombie prancing around as if they are alive and not taking their role as a minion of the undead seriously, it bothers me. Its not so difficult to slather on some pale make-up, apply some realistic-looking wounds and dress like youre homeless or have been in a car accident. Thats the easy part. The hard part is selling it, yknow, walking around like a real zombie. Its pathetic to see zombie wannabes putting forth no effort to sell their dead persona. I mean, thats half the fun of the costume, its the act.
I think this stems from the fact that I actually played a zombie in the 1990 remake of Romeros Night of the Living Dead directed by Tom Savini.
I had just moved to LA and became friends with the guys working on the make up effects. I begged them to allow me to be a zombie in the remake. They offered to let me sleep on their couch and I headed to Pittsburgh for a week. Everyone who signed up to be a zombie was a fan, and they all had tales about how the original NOTLD changed their lives in some way. I first saw the original black and white Dead on TV when I was 11. It was shocking to my senses. The character I came to identify with, Ben, the only guy with any sense of reason, looks as if hell emerge unscathed and is promptly shot in the head. Yeah, theres no happy ending. As credits role we are treated to a montage that looks as if it were taken from a news report as Ben, along with other zombies, are burned. The music over this sequence is haunting. I recall sleeping with the light on for fear of something popping out from behind the couch. Repeated viewings only heightened my fear and bloodlust to see more.
To be surrounded by so many like-minded fanatics was like vacationing at a convention where zombie make up was required. It never felt like work. All the extras were put through a zombie school which was easy. However, based on your look and the quality of your performance, youd either end up in the background or youd be used as a featured zombie along with the main cast. There were several important things I learned at school:
- Never look at the camera. Keep up a glazed look, not focusing on anything in particular.
- Imagine the way you died and bring that injury into your zombie character. So, if your leg was crushed, limp. Or if you were in a car accident and broke your neck, lean your head to one side.
- Very important be consistent. Once youve got your moves down, they must be repeated in every shot so that the editor can cut together a sequence in which each zombie moves the same from take to take.
- And, the most important element was the walk.
Now, that zombie walk was discussed over and over again, yes, its slow-moving. But I can break it down for you simply, just walk slow like you have to take a dump. It's not that hard. And during the long hours we were all to encounter, that walk might not even have to be faked.
Our day started about 6 PM and went until dawn. Like any film shoot, the hours were long and made more difficult since this was a night shoot. Make up was always fun and also was a determining factor in the zombie hierarchy, whether youd be in the background (simply painted grey with highlights) or featured (grey make up with wound appliances). I recall being so tired upon returning home, Id save make up removal for mornings which meant I sometimes stuck to my pillow.
My first scene was with about 20 extras in a grassy field. I was placed far in the back and this shot was not pivotal as it was intended to convey atmosphere. Wed do the dump walk down the hill for about a minute and then the assistant director would yell Back to one. So, wed trudge back up the hill to our first position, hence back to one. We did this about five times and they filmed it once we had it down.
While all of the zombies in the film were fans, I was surprised to learn that the cast were Dead fans as well. Patricia Tallman, the lead female, loved Romeros work and considered it an honor to be cast. Tony Todd, who went on to play in many genre films, was new to the biz and was cast as Ben, the guy we all root for. Todd hung out with us zombies and enjoyed telling stories about how much the original scared him. Tommy Towles was a madman, and was not just a fan, but the cast clown. Tommy took every opportunity to goof on the rest of the cast and loosened everyone up when people were tired or tense. I even met Romero on the set very briefly. He was like everyones uncle as he walked around the set greeting fan after fan.
After a week of dump walking and hanging with the cast, I finally was offered a chance to act with the main cast. Well, at least their charred remains. Tom and his girlfriend Judy, (played by Bill Butler and Katie Finneran) plot their escape in their truck; as they get gas, the vehicle blows up. Their crispy demise is tragic especially when you discover their bodies being devoured by zombies. My role was as the zombie who starts the barbecue. Tom Savini directed me in this scene, and, well, he didnt have much to tell me. Savini said, Just drag the burning body about 6 feet and begin to dig in and eat. Easy Tom!
We did about three takes Id grab Billy's fake body, which had some weight to it, drag it, then I was the first to take a bite. The guts consisted of the worst chicken ever. This cold chicken was covered in fake blood made from watered down Karo syrup and food coloring. There were gallon sized milk jugs of this stuff everywhere and it does not mix well with chicken. While we were on camera, I feasted on the grotesque concoction, but as soon as Tom yelled, Cut! we all spit out that crap. I could do the zombie dump walk all day, but a zombie feast was something I did not want to repeat.
That's my ass on the far right chomping on a burnt corpse. The "flesh" was undercooked chicken covered in fake blood. Hey. Stop looking at my ass.
So, dressing as a minion of the undead for Halloween holds a particular charm for me. Behind every glazed look, underneath the pale and bloody zombie make up theres always a Romero fan. Just dont forget to work on that walk.
Gore gone!
Chris_Gore is an author, a filmmaker, the creator of Film Threat, and begins planning his Halloween costume each year on November 1st.
Rob Zombie Picks Up "Chainsaw" Award
Rob Zombie picked up a prestigious Chainsaw Award this weekend. The musician/director received the Killer Movie award for his film, The Devils Rejects. Freddy Kruger actor Robert Englund presented the award as part of the Fuse Fangoria Chainsaw Awards" to honor outstanding work in horror films.
Zombies hot-ass wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, and Devils Rejects co-star Bill Moseley also won a "Relationship From Hell" award for their roles as twisted siblings.
Although the show was last night, Fuse network planned the TV broadcast for October 22nd.
If You're Going to San Francisco, Be Sure to Take a Hezbollah Flag
Zombie has an interesting hobby. He attends rallies, taking photographs of the extremist nutcases, conspiracy freaks, racists and terror lovers he finds.
His most recent project was the "Stop the U.S. - Israel War Rally" in San Franciso and here's some of the photos he took. He makes little comment, so I'll follow his lead. The pictures speak for themselves.
Man's Best Friend: The 'Zombie Dog'
Scientists at Pittsburgh's Safar Centre for Resuscitation Research have created zombie dogs, reanimating the canines after several hours of clinical death.
The dogs were drained of blood, filled with icy-cold saline fluid (which preserves the internal organs) and declared clinically dead - no heartbeat, no brain activity. Then, three hours later, the blood was replaced, and the dogs were given oxygen and reanimated using electricity.
Amazingly enough, the dogs did not suffer brain damage from the procedure.
We're next on the agenda, of course:
Plans to test the technique on humans should be realised within a year, according to the Safar Centre.
However rather than sending people to sleep for years, then bringing them back to life to benefit from medical advances, the boffins would be happy to keep people in this state for just a few hours,
But even this should be enough to save lives such as battlefield casualties and victims of stabbings or gunshot wounds, who have suffered huge blood loss.
"The results are stunning. I think in 10 years we will be able to prevent death in a certain segment of those using this technology," said one US battlefield doctor.
Massive Zombie Army Could Swarm the Internets
A massive army of zombies could wake up and wreak havoc any day now, according to The Register UK:
Computer Associates has warned of a co-ordinated malware attack (CMA) described as among the most sophisticated yet unleashed on the net. The attack involves three different Trojans Glieder, Fantibag and Mitglieder in a co-ordinated assault designed to establish a huge botnet under the control of hackers.
Using zombie (read: compromised) computers to do stupid and destructive things is nothing new. Douchebag script kiddies with low self esteem have been using them for years to make up for their inability to kiss a girl, but what's really interesting and potentially scary about this particular attack is that "access to the compromised PCs is for sale on a black market, at prices as low as five cents per PC." While it's likely that this botnet will just be used by spammers, if someone wanted to launch a big Ddos, it just got pretty cheap and easy . . . look out, Sun Microsystems.
The potential for this supermassive botnet to bring down huge chunks of the Internets is very real, and highlights the importance of keeping your system secure . . . or just not using Windows:
It almost goes without saying but all the MyTob variants, along with the Bagle downloaders, infects only Windows PCs. Apple, Linux and those few souls out there still running OS/2 are all immune, as usual.
(Found via Slashdot)
Feds Seek to Halt Zombie Attacks
The US Federal Trade Commission recommends that ISPs start blocking spam zombie boxes and help customers clean up their shit.
The US Federal Trade Commission (FTC), along with more than 35 government agencies worldwide, announced an ambitious effort on Tuesday to get ISPs and other organisations to deliver the net from the plague of zombie spam networks. The group is encouraging ISPs to identify and quarantine customers whose PCs may have unwittingly been turned into spam zombies, under the control of hackers.
ISPs are also being encouraged to apply rate-limiting controls for email relays and to block port 25 (a common Internet port used for email) for inappropriate use as part of an educational campaign called Operation Spam Zombies. ISPs are also being urged to educate consumers about net security and to provide tools to disinfect computers under one of the most ambitious net security education initiatives to date.
Of course, measures like this really piss off those of us who know what we're doing. We don't want to have to tunnel our email through alternate ports or be forced to relay through our ISP's mail servers. However, it's a small sacrifice to make in order to cut down on the rampant spam zombies... until the spammers/hackers get smart and just start coding their exploits to force mail through an ISP's relays as well...
Advice: Do Not Write Zombie Fiction in Kentucky!
William Poole, 18, was arrested on February 22nd by the state of Kentucky for making terrorist threats. His crime? He wrote a zombie story.
Winchester police say William Poole, 18, was taken into custody Tuesday morning. Investigators say they discovered materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police.
Apparently, in Kentucky writing a short story where zombies attack a high school is a felony charge. This despite the fact that :
A: The story wasn't based on his school.
B: The story didn't feature any real people, students, faculty, police or otherwise.
C: It's a freakin story about ZOMBIES! What was the kid going to do? Raise a legion of undead to get revenge on the bullies who pushed him around?
Our erstwhile sheriff explains things:
Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky,"
So word to the wise, if you're in Kentucky, do not write zombie fiction. Especially if it involves a school or a school function.
El Chupacabra, Or Zombie Coyote?
Just in time for Halloween, animal experts are trying to identify a mystery beast that was killed in Angelina County in Texas.
"What is that?" are the first words out of anyone's mouth when shown photos of the animal, according to Stacy Womack.
Womack -- who has more than 20 years experience working at Ellen Trout Zoo and for a local veterinarian -- said she's seen and handled a lot of different animals, but that she's never seen anything like this one.
The animal is said to resemble a coyote, though its skull and overbite couldn't be matched with pictures of coyotes in reference books. The zombie-like appearance can possibly be attributed to a form of mange or a congenital skin defect, however experts cannot say anything for certain.
Sightings of similar animals have been reported across the country, from California to Maryland.
ROB ZOMBIE Announces Title For 'Corpses' Sequel
Rob Zombie has set "The Devil's Rejects" as the title of his much-anticipated sequel to the his directorial debut, "House of 1000 Corpses", tentatively due later in the year.
"The Devil's Rejects" (which "refers to the nickname that the media has bestowed upon our favorite band of murderers, according to a post on Rob's web site) will feature a plot revolving around "the revenge-driven brother of slain Sheriff Wydell hunting down the family with a band of bounty hunters." All original cast members are said to be on board.
Even though "House of 1000 Corpses" was not a box office smash, the relatively low-budget flick's (which cost a reported $7 million to produce) $12.5 million haul was enough to make Lions Gate Films happy.
"[Making the movie] is totally different this time," Zombie told MTV.com last summer. "With Lions Gate, they came to the rescue. And they really believe in the project. It's more like the opposite [of making the last one]. This time they are wishing me to move faster, so it's kind of funny."