In 1776, Thomas Jefferson and a few of his friends, also known as the Second Continental Congress, drafted and sent an interesting document to soon-to-be-nut...

It really is difficult to pick the best war criminal in the White House. And make no mistake about it; several members of Bush’s cabinet are war criminals.

It’s Saturday. That means you lucky bastards are going to read about the horrible actions of this week’s Asshole Fuckfaces. This year is the 185th anniversary...

Condi Rice is now "actively campaigning" to run with John McCain as Vice President. She will probably get the nod because Republicans are stupid...

The time has come to fear a McCain presidency. Hillary Clinton is doing everything she can to make Barack Obama unelectable, clearing the way for the time...

Since I started writing this weekly article 37 years ago, I have been asked the name of the very first Asshole Fuckface over nine thousand times. Today...

Ah, the Libertarians. Our little head in the clouds kids. They scurry about our country, totally unable to grasp the real world, screaming about “big...

You gotta love a government that not only ignores logic, intelligence, and big fucking holes while wasting billions of taxpayer dollars on a worthless project.

George Bush is such a colossal fuck up it is astounding. Every choice the administration makes in Iraq turns out to be the wrong choice. Their latest...

As many of you know, for several years I have stated that I would reveal the very first Asshole Fuckface on March 29, 2008. That day has arrived. With...

It was bound to happen. The new conservative movement hates reality and anything that impedes them from doing what they want. They are basically a group...

Our pot laws in the US are so backwards and idiotic, it is astounding. It is unbelievable that arrests for marijuana violations are actually going up.

First of all, happy fucking birthday, Iraq War. You’ve had a rough couple of years and only the retarded seem to like you. You drew the short stick.

No Child Left Behind seems to regard poor, inner city schools as a disease to be cut out. No Child was, initially, meant to force schools to bring all...

America seems to be in a lot of trouble. We have a possible Democratic presidential candidate who has been spiritually mentored by a black pastor who is...

I do not know what in the fuck Hillary Clinton is doing. There is no way she can legitimately win the Democratic nomination. Turns out, a long time ago...

On October 16, 1999, at 12:58 in the afternoon, my life had changed, forever. After rushing my wife at the time to the local emergency room, her water...

God set aside today for the minions to read the Asshole Fuckface Roundup. Many people have asked me over the years the name of the very first Asshole Fuckface.

Before the Iraq War, George Bush made sure to purge the military of all the naysayers. And by naysayers, I mean people who knew what they were talking...

The treatment of Omar Khadr is an example of the monsters we have become in our “War on Terror.” Born in 1988 in Toronto, Khadr was raised by two, insane...

Congrats on surviving through another week. Your sweet, sweet reward is another Asshole Fuckface Roundup. My weekly misfortune is the multitude of idiots...

I feel like with all the attention surrounding the Democratic primary, we have forgotten how horrible John McCain is as a potential president. Holy fucking...

Normally when you hear the term "Arms Race", the first thing that comes to mind is Nuclear Missiles and Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles. ...

Remember way, way, way back in late February, when I wrote an article about the pathetic campaign Hillary was running? Seems like almost 14 days ago and...

Happy Asshole Fuckface day. As I tour the country, speaking of Asshole Fuckfacery of yesteryear, I am often asked, “Who was the first?” After 84 hours...

I was trying to focus on how much I don’t like Hillary Clinton during Tuesday night’s debate, but some asshole kept distracting me. The asshole's...

The Taliban, whose regime has banned such things as clapping at sporting events, dancing, VCRs, pool tables, anything that plays music, television, lobster,...

On Sunday night, "60 minutes" broadcast a report that could have easily come straight out of Pakistan, instead of the great state of Alabama.

After so many Asshole Fuckface Roundups, you deserve to know the identity of the very first Asshole Fuckface. It was not one man, but two. The Harpe brothers,...

In response to the insane, right wing anti-immigrant crowd, our government announced that we would be building a 700-mile border fence between the U.S.

When candidates get desperate, they often go negative. Some go for the jugular and go dirty, while others apparently attempt to go negative and just end...

I get thousands of letters each week asking me who was the first Asshole Fuckface. Many people are surprised to learn his name was Richard Malebisse, a...

Tony Blair is one of the most unpopular prime ministers in recent memory for the U.K. Famous caricatures of him as President Bush's lapdog or servant...

Well, that is that. America is toast. We have decided that living in a police state is better than living in the insecure world of freedom. Our representatives...

Like a lot of non-Americans (and quite a few Americans, I suspect), I’ve been paying closer attention to the whole Primary thing you’ve got going, where...

Over six years after the 9/11 attacks - and coincidentally in an election year - charges are finally being brought against those responsible. And surprisingly...

Oh man, did the shit hit the asshole this week. (I think that is the correct cliché.) David Shuster was asked to fill in on Tucker Carlson’s show on...

There is much confusion about who was the very first Asshole Fuckface. I get many letters and today I will finally reveal the answer: Pope Gregory XIII.

First came the 2000 Florida elections that showed our Democracy to be a total sham. Thousands of voters illegally purged from voter rolls, ballots tossed...

It’s fascinating to watch the Democrats make the same mistake over and over and over and over again. When I say “over” I mean, Walter Mondale, Michael...