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I Miss The Old Made Up Scandals

FRIDAY DECEMBER 7 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Remember Travelgate? How cute was that scandal? It started...

The Republican Race Is A Train Wreck Falling On Top Of A Car Crash

THURSDAY DECEMBER 6 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



The race for the Republican nomination is a complete disaster. Each candidate is coming apart at the seams in spectacular...

One Democratic Asshole, A Bunch of Republican Assholes

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 5 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Two days ago we learned that Iran halted...

Totally Cool To Kidnap Brits

TUESDAY DECEMBER 4 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Dear British people, from now on please think of Americans as aliens from outer space. It would be better if you...

What Up Baghdad?

MONDAY DECEMBER 3 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



I don’t know if you’ve been reading the news lately, but we’ve basically won the war in Iraq. Yep, the surge has...

31 Days To Iowa, GOP Style

SUNDAY DECEMBER 2 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Thirty-one days until the corn engorged people of Iowa shuffle into voting booths and pick from the saddest field...

Asshole Fuckface Roundup #23

SATURDAY DECEMBER 1 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



The Asshole Fuckface Roundup can be traced back to Rome in the year 222. Young Emperor Elagabalus was a crazed bisexual...

Pimping For Ron Paul…Literally

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 30 2007 4:00 PM

Submitted by Uncognitive. Edited By erin_broadley.



For those of you who are rolling your eyes and thinking, “Oh God, another Ron Paul article?!” -- before you ready...

CNN Turns A Presidential Debate Into A Fucking Joke

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 30 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



As embarrassing as it is to be an American these days, with our pathetic political representation, disgraceful media...

I Helped Pay For Rudy To Fuck A Lady In A Nice Place

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 29 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



I lived in the cesspool known as New York City for five years. Rudy Giuliani was running the show the entire time...

Democrat of the Year. Nay, Century

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 28 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Republicans have been quite busy the past couple of years, with all their man-on-man fucking and trying to blow police...

We Take A Small Step Closer To Fahrenheit 451

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 27 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



The book Fahrenheit 451 was originally a novella called The Fireman. It was written by Ray Bradbury...

Can We Impeach Now?

MONDAY NOVEMBER 26 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



I know, I know. There is no reason to impeach the president. It would be so bad for Democrats, the nation would be...

39 Days To Iowa

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 25 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Oh, shit. We are now officially getting down to it. The Iowa “we’re a special state” caucus is on January 3rd and...

Asshole Fuckface Roundup #22

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 24 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Welcome to the Asshole Fuckface Roundup. Not many people know the origins of the Roundup. We have to go all the...

Just Kill The Fucking Birds, George

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 22 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.



The president saved two turkeys from a grim death this week. It’s become a tradition...

Sorry Your Leg Was Blown Off, Now Fork Over The Dough Soldier Boy

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 21 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.



The American government is so sickening sometimes that it is astounding. George Bush is a hideous viper, who could...

Condi Rice Finally Gets A Nickname: Useless

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 20 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



I think anyone with a brain can agree that Condoleezza Rice has been about as useless and ineffective as any previous...

So Much For The ‘Iraqis Need Us There’ Bullshit

MONDAY NOVEMBER 19 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



One of the big arguments for the pro-war crowd is that we just can’t leave those Iraqis alone after invading and setting...

Reid Keeps Doors Open Because Bush Is A Dick

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 18 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



George Bush has proven over and over that he is going to do whatever the fuck he wants. One of the most glaring examples...

Asshole Fuckface Roundup #21

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 17 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

It is Saturday. All over the world, horrible people wake up and fear their name appear in the Asshole Fuckface Roundup. It has been this way for centuries...

Man, I Love Being Right All the Time

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 17 2007 12:00 AM

Submitted by Subrosa. Edited By erin_broadley.

No, seriously, it’s the best. It’s like I have a superhuman ability to predict the political future. While I recognize that with great power comes great...

The Ron Paul Buck Stops Here

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 16 2007 4:00 PM

Submitted by Uncognitive. Edited By erin_broadley.



Devoted Ron Paul fans, how many times has this happened to you?

You’re sitting around your high-tech survival bunker...

Will All Muslims Please Send Us Their Whereabouts.

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 16 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.



Last week the LA Times revealed an awesome plan that would keep America safe from terrorists. The police department...

Finally, Tiny Microscopic People Get A Chance

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 15 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

Colorado apparently has its share of lunatics because yesterday the state Supreme Court gave an anti-abortion group the go ahead to try to put a measure...

Democrats Doing Their Best To Not Be Better Than Republicans

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 14 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



When the Democrats were attempting to take back Congress in 2006, they kept harping about the corrupt Republicans.

Single Moms Are Destroying Sweet, Sweet Idaho

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 13 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



These days it is difficult to think about Idaho without conjuring up images of violent youth dashing madly through...

Rage Boy Is Actually A Nice Boy

MONDAY NOVEMBER 12 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Rage Boy, but you should have. He is very popular and has become the poster...

Asshole Fuckface Roundup – Strike Edition!

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 11 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

Since Hollywood writers like myself went on strike this week, I thought I would share with you the biggest Asshole Fuckface studio heads of the week. They...

Asshole Fuckface Roundup #20

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 10 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

Saturday. Vlad the Impaler said just before he died that the reason he committed such heinous acts was because he wanted to make it into the Asshole Fuckface...

Right Wing Asshole Publisher vs. Right Wing Asshole Writers

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 10 2007 12:00 AM

Submitted by johnnyfu. Edited By erin_broadley.

After reading David Brock’s memoir Blinded by the Right a couple of years ago, I came...

Golden Gate Covered in Gold… Black Gold, that is

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 9 2007 8:00 PM

Submitted by Subrosa. Edited By erin_broadley.



I was sitting around at work the other day when one of my co-workers asked me if I’d heard that a tanker had struck...

Sometimes Being An Asshole Doesn’t Pay Off

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 9 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



In 2005, Congress passed one of the worst bills in the history of our country: The Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and...

Check the Temperature in Hell: I Support the College Republicans

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 8 2007 8:00 PM

Submitted by Subrosa. Edited By erin_broadley.



Yep. Me. Subrosa. I’ve been referred to around here as a knee-jerk, bleeding heart, San Francisco...

Finally, Toddlers Get Access To Date Rape Drugs And Lead

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 8 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



It is a great time to be a kid. When I was young, my parents didn’t buy me date rape drugs as a present for Christmas,...

Democrats Go From Being Pussies To Being Startling Pussies

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 7 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



It is very difficult to explain what occurred yesterday in Congress, but I’m going to do my best. It all began with...

Bad Time To Be A Buddhist Statue

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 6 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



In March, 2001 the Taliban destroyed two giant Buddha statues in Bamiyan, Afghanistan. The Bamiyan Buddhas were carved...

Why The Writers Are On Strike

MONDAY NOVEMBER 5 2007 12:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Television and film writers will officially go on strike one minute after I post this. 12:01 AM, Monday. This will...

Fingergate. Seriously. That Is What It Is Being Called.

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 4 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Welcome to the world of creepy and awful: It’s Big Brother in South Africa. Things went horribly wrong during the...

Asshole Fuckface Roundup #19

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 3 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.



Saturday. The day Muhammad came out of his tent and said something that no one could hear because there was a sand...

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