Pregnant Girls Not Human in North Dakota
(image) Probably the scariest story yet about the extremes of the family values, anti-abortion right: North Dakota's House of Representatives just...
Latest News from the War on Women
(image) If you're in college, you may have noticed that the cost of your birth control's gone way up. This is annoying, of course; but it also...
White House Decides One Branch Of Government Is Best
George Bush is king. It happened yesterday, while we were all going about our business. Tony Snow broke the news to us on almost every news show and even...
UFO Government Bonanza!
(image) Holy shit! France has opened its UFO files to the world. Mulder must be so excited. The national space agency has created a website with documents...
Republican Style "Fuck You"
Im not sure if it is sheer stupidity or pure arrogance, or maybe a horrifying combination of both, but the office of the Attorney General is fucking amazing.
Release the Porn!
(image) The US government received a brutal porn beat down today when a judge ruled against a controversial Internet child protection law. The Child Online...
How Much for That Baby in the Window?
(image) File this one under "unlikely to become law--riiight?" Texas state Senator Dan Patrick (R, as if you needed to ask) plans to introduce...
2007 Constitutional Showdown!
(image) The US attorneys purge scandal has been heating up for a while and now things are finally starting to get exciting. Today, the House Judiciary...
Guntards Hate Bloomberg
(image) Sweet Virginia, youre always there for me when I need a moronic story. This time gun loving Virginians are hopping mad at New York City Mayor...
A New Power Rises in Iraq
(image) ERBIL, IRAQ What a difference a year makes. Fourteen months ago I flew to Erbil, the capital of Iraqi Kurdistan, from Beirut, Lebanon, on the...
Fuck Joe Biden
(image) Volume 4 of the FTR series in which he puts the word fuck in front of a presidential candidates name. Someone, somewhere must have been happy...
South Carolina to Mandate Unnecessary Medical Procedure
(image) South Carolina is considering a law requiring women undergoing abortions to view an ultrasound image of the fetus. It's obviously an attempt...
Haliburton Should Run Our Wildlife Refuges
It sounds crazy but I think Haliburton is the only solution to current US Fish and Wildlife Service budgets problems. Because the Bush administration hates...
Terrorists Want To Murder Our Babies!
(image) This story makes me miss the good old days, when the White House used the color-coded terrorist alert system every time they wanted to deflect attention...
The Confederacy May Finally Get Some Props
(image) Georgia State Senator Jeff Mullis has decided we should celebrate the greatness of the Confederacy by giving it an entire month. Mullis wrote a...
A Solid 9/11 Confession
It has finally happened. A 9/11 architect confessed to his evil deed and claimed responsibility for the attacks that killed thousands of Americans. Khaled...
Sort of Civil War
Today, the Pentagon trotted out a new report on the taxpayer's dime claiming that some components of the Iraq Quagmire fit the definition of Civil...
Hugh Hefner, the 44th President of the United States
On January 24th, 2007, John Lavelle, a state assemblyman from Richmond County (a.k.a. Staten Island), New York passed from this mortal coil. Mr. Lavelle...
Tumor V. Pot. Government Picks Tumor.
(image) Let me start out by saying the federal government, particularly the Justice Department and the current administration, are a bunch of fucking assholes.
D.C. Madame Gives it Away
(image) This is a disappointment. Alleged Madame Deborah Jean Palfrey wont be selling her telephone records to the highest bidder. Instead, in an apparent...
When Jenna Jameson met Dick...Cheney, that is.
(image) Yesterday, in a speech to the members of a lobbying group known as the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, confirmed mediocre quail hunter...
Fuck Dennis Kucinich
(image) Dennis Kucinch has a rabid following of liberals who love his no nonsense approach and because he gives a voice to many of their concerns. He is...
Israeli Ambassador Fired For Having An Awesome Party
(image) Tzuriel Refael was promoted from an office position in the Israeli foreign ministry to Ambassador to El Salvador in 2006. At that point in time,...
The 100-Mile Per Gallon Car Is Here. Sort Of.
(image) The Toyota Prius seems to be the only effective hybrid car on the market. All the other hybrids have received less than stellar reports and are...
Zell Miller Is Bat Shit Crazy
(image) Zell Miller is a former Senator from the state of Georgia. He was a sort of a Democrat but most importantly, he is a crazy nutjob. There will...
Happy Birthday, Osama!
Today is Osama bin Ladens birthday! Still in charge of al-Qaeda, still living up in the mountains somewhere and still plotting the destruction of America.
Newt Gingrich: The Hypocrite We All Knew He Was
(image) The Clinton impeachment trial stands out in the minds of many who remember it as one of the most ridiculous political fiascos in decades. From...
An Iraq Resolution, This Time with Teeth
Remember the nonbinding resolution Congress approved that lightly chastised Bush as command in chief of the armed forces for the continuing failure in Iraq?
Post-Bush Spiritual Hose Down
Next week our pathetic president will visit Guatemalan ruins as part of his seven-day tour of Latin America. Bush plans to make a stop at the Mayan archaeological...
Dear Mr. Cheney, Prepare For Your Ass To Be Torn Up
Those confused conservatives who seem to think that no crime was committed because the special prosecutor was lied to and obstructed are in for a big surprise.
Ixnay on the Ar-cay Pol-phay Earb-Day
Polar Bears are dying. They cant stand the heat and they are getting out of the kitchen, as it were. Except in this case, the kitchen is the Earth...
Libby Convicted! Can We Pardon Him Already?
Time to start you betting pools. When does Scooter Libby get a pardon from George W. Bush? Its the important question to ask today because Scooter...
FDA Trying To Kill Us Via Cows
(image) The FDA is preparing to approve an antibiotic used in cattle, despite warnings from FDA advisors and health groups. The antibiotic treats a pneumonia-like...
Taking It In Your Houses Anus
(image) That old monster called deregulation is about to show its ugly face again. It has been responsible for so many economic disasters that it is getting...
Badgers Can be Surly
(image) Congratulations to Governor Doyle and the smart people of Wisconsin who voted for him--he's turned down $600,000 worth of bullshit "abstinence...
Ultimate Shit Kicking Family
(image) There is nothing more glorious than a bus fight, especially when it is between two young girls, with a mom serving as a cut man. Before Friday,...
Fuck Rudy Giuliani
(image) Volume 2 of the FTR series in which he puts the word fuck in front of a presidential candidates name. Rudy Giuliani has now taken the lead as...
Loud Mouthed Whore
Washington DC is a nervous city today. Last week, a DC madam was indicted on racketeering charges and is now threatening to sell her 13-year old phone...
Prominent Iraq Vet Calls for End to Military Homosexual Policy
The US, and the Western world in general, have come a long way over the past few decades in the acceptance of homosexuals as being just regular part who...
Whoops! Accidental Invasion
There's apparently a good reason why the Swiss have historically remained neutral with respect to regional conflicts. Their army is somewhat clueless.



