Here we are again, my legion. The time has come for the latest horrifying installment of the Asshole Fuckface Roundup. While there are no greater Asshole...

The fun of watching Harry Reid poke his anus into the air for all to penetrate never seems to end. He is one of the weakest men in Washington, completely...

The time has come for you to absorb the hideous actions of this week’s Asshole Fuckfaces. It is a horrible bunch of horribles. Many of my minions ask how...

Twenty years ago today, the Exxon Valdez oil tanker ran aground in Alaska's Prince Williams Sound. Two decades on, despite reporting profits of $45.2...

(image) "Gail, Please! Stick your hand in it!" The petite Eskimo-Chugach woman gave me that you-dumb-ass-white-boy look. "Gail, Gail. STICK...

Prepare to have your asses blown off by tales of disturbing and horrible Asshole Fuckfacery. That’s right, it’s Asshole Fuckface day, which means I’m...

Michael Steele is the gift that keeps giving. For those of you who don’t know, Steele took over as Republican National Committee Chair a couple of months...

I bet you didn't realize that your life as a woman is infinitely easier, better, and rosier because the US Congress passed The Lilly Ledbetter Fair...

Here we are. I know, it has been an entire week of desperate waiting. Fear not, the moment you yearned for has arrived. It’s Asshole Fuckface Roundup time.

America may, in the very near future, be harboring a war criminal from justice. His name is George W. Bush. Maybe a few war criminals, in fact. Dick Cheney,...

Smell that? That’s the smell of Asshole Fuckfaces. It kind of smells like someone opened up a pig’s anus and inserted hate. It’s not pleasant at all.

The Republican self-destruction has transitioned from amusing to completely ridiculous. I’d like to say Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s response to...

Today I am writing the Asshole Fuckface Roundup from the jury assembly room in Burbank, California. It seems an appropriate place, considering so many...

America is clearly overburdened with morons. They are a loud, uneducated group of people who live by one slogan: Taxes Are Bad. No matter the situation,...

Hello, Minions. It’s been an entire and brutal week since the last Asshole Fuckface Roundup, which means you have spent 6 days in a vacuous wasteland.

President Obama will visit Ottawa on Thursday. On the agenda are talks regarding the tanking economy, Canada’s withdrawal from Afghanistan in 2011, energy...

These are exciting times for America. A new leader is rising out of the ashes and he could be dumber and brasher than anyone we’ve seen in quite some...

I am writing this Asshole Fuckface Roundup on an aeroplane. I am in the sky, flying far above all the disgusting Asshole Fuckfaces in the US of A, while...

California is officially a complete and total disaster. Our system of government is set up to fail. We have, as a populace, made such amazingly shortsighted...

This is a monumental day for the Roundup. We have moved to Friday. Not Saturday, as you heathens are accustomed to. I can only take it as a sign of the...

Never thought I’d make this comment, but the Democrats are handling Rush Limbaugh with brutal efficiency. For many years, Democrats have been terrified...

A special report for SuicideGirls.com by Mark Karlin, Editor and Publisher of BuzzFlash.com. (image) If you want to understand the baffling behavior of...

As I sit in my moist anti-Asshole Fuckface fort, which is made out of wood and the cries of children, I am weeping. I weep as I read all of the Asshole...

(image) Obama is a two-faced liar. Aw-RIGHT! Republicans are right. President Barack Obama treated them like dirt, didn't give a damn what they thought...

(image) It’s quite amusing to watch the Screen Actors Guild break out into a full-blown civil war, with an undemocratic coup thrown in, all while trying...

The right wing has had a jerk off torture fantasy going for the past 7 years. Despite all contrary evidence, they believe we have Jack Bauers running about,...

Later today, after the sun has risen on Ottawa, Prime Minister Stephen Harper will present what may be his last Throne Speech as PM. Canadian “news”...

Here we are again, staring another Asshole Fuckface Roundup in the face. Don’t be scared. Several Asshole Fuckfaces were sent to obscurity this week, rarely...

(image) John Thain is the guy that looks like a Clark Kent doll you saw grinning from page one of your paper Friday morning. Thain was just fired by Bank...

(image) I really didn’t expect Obama to publicly chastise George W. Bush during his inaugural speech, but that is exactly what happened on Tuesday. It...

Welcome, Barry. You are already my favorite black president and you’ve only been on the job one day. That’s all kinds of awesome. Keep it up. To get through...

(video) (image) Thank you! (image) Very appreciated. (image) Gracias! (image) Eternally grateful. (image) Indebted. (image) Wish you were staying! (image)...

In less than a week, president elect Barack Obama will be President Obama. Shortly thereafter, he’s promised he’ll be taking his act up to Ottawa for...

Conservatives have begun their push to pretend as if George Bush was not a horrible president. For them, it is personal. They voted for the guy, so the...

One of the great things about Obama taking over is we get to watch corrupt, horrible government employees lose their jobs. Take the Pentagon. Last month,...

Good Asshole Fuckface morning to you! It’s the day our Lord Jesus Christ declared Asshole Fuckface Roundup day! You know, Asshole Fuckfacing is not something...

There's a few articles floating around this week that don't paint a pretty picture for the ongoing war in Afghanistan, weeks from a new President...

It has begun. The shockingly stupid among us have started their chant. You will be hearing it for a long, long time. “Look at the Obama supporters crying.”...

Well it's on again, the late twentieth century's favorite cage fight: Israel vs. the Arabs! It's always a classic match, no matter who is...

Obama is going with tax cuts. Well, that didn’t take long. Obama’s already working his compromise promise –– except right now compromise on the economy...