Yet Another Unfavorable Report Is Altered
(image) This shouldnt be too shocking, really. I mean, remember that little report on global warming that the administration didnt like? Why not change...
Bush Administration Accidentally Loses Potentially Incriminating E-mails
(image) Could these people be any more transparent? Does anyone buy this garbage anymore? Administration officials argue that they should be excused...
Happy Fucking Birthday To Me
It was one year ago today that my first story posted on the newswire. It was called Thank You For Fighting, Now Heres A Tall Cold Glass Of Shit. It...
Someone Should Have Told Me Christians Are At War With Us
(image) Ron Luce is a 45-year-old man who started a movement for young Christian kids called BattleCry. Why BattleCry? Because the kids are fighting...
Killer Dog-Breeding, Quasi-Incestual, Neo-Nazi Lawyers Finally Disbarred
(image) If you live in San Francisco, you probably know who Marjorie Knoller and Robert Noel are. If you dont know them by name, you certainly do by reputation.
The Student Loan Business is Fucking Corrupt
(image) First, it was this hullabaloo about loan companies pretending to be your schools financial aid office. Then there was the revelation that I owe...
Ready to Die? First the Bees, Then the Humans..
(image) Why dont they know? Because they didnt have funding to continue the study. You know, to get that proof. So, now the experiment is going...
Newt Gingrich Murders Vermont College Republicans
The College Republicans at the University of Vermont invited Newt Gingrich to speak on October 6, 2005. Now, Newt is one of the best, he does not come...
Hillary Clinton is a Victorious Flaming Pig
(image) We can all stop wondering who will win the election in 2008. FearTheReaper can officially now stop writing his famous Fuck (insert presidential...
Man Happy to be Example of Everything Wrong with America
Alan Mulally has been CEO of Ford Motor Company for a whopping four months. Its not an easy job but he has a great attitude and a decent attendance record,...
"Zoloft Killer" Awaits Possible Reversal of Conviction
(image) Christopher Pittman was only 12 when he used a pump-action shotgun to murder both of his grandparents as they slept in their South Carolina house.
Fuck Sam Brownback
Volume 6 of the FTR series in which he puts the word "fuck" in front of a presidential candidate's name. Sam Brownback is one creepy son-of-a-bitch.
Why Does Nancy Pelosi Hate America?
Because thats the only explanation as to why shed leave this great country to go waltzing around with the terrorists, right? Why would she DARE to undermine...
Alberto Gonzales Has Poor Hiring Skills
Alberto Gonzales couldnt manage his way out of a paper bag. In fact, his administrative abilities are so poor that the entirety of his staff seems to...
Youll Have To Pry My Gun From My Fruit Roll-Up Stained Hand
Thank God we live in a country where you can take your 2-year-old into a gun store and show him how to properly handle an Ak-47. Thats what happened...
Disneyland Actually Gets Gayer
First came Mickey Mouse, then Peter Pan and now Disney is really upping the gay by allowing same-sex couples to exchange vows in front of Cinderella's...
Worst. Lawyer. Ever?
(image) Stephen Hurley is no Merl Ledford III. In fact, Stephen Hurley is kind of a douche. Stephen Hurley is the kind of fucking douche that would do something...
Best. Lawyer. Ever!
Everyone hates the RIAA, right? Theyve had a rather lengthy recent history of being total douchewads. With their huge war chest and battalion of attorneys,...
Bill OReillys Head Finally Explodes
It finally happened. Bill OReillys head exploded today on the air. It was bound to happen, although nobody expected it to occur during an ugly exchange...
Good Times In Baghdad
I used to be a supporter of John McCain. He actually seemed an impressive candidate back in the day, but has now officially turned into a crazy old man.
The Josh Wolf Saga: Law and Order vs. Freedom of the Blogger?
(image) In July of 2005, activist and video blogger Josh Wolf attended and filmed an anarchist demonstration in San Franciscos Mission District. The demonstration,...
Live Free Or Gay
(image) Its nice to see a state take their motto seriously. On Tuesday, the New Hampshire state House voted to extend the right of civil unions to...
An Army, Not a Militia
(image) SULEIMANIYA, IRAQ Iraq is a country with three armies and Im-not-sure-how-many militias and death squads. The Iraqi Army is nominally the national...
Understanding Massachusetts v. Environmental Protection Agency
(image) By now you should have heard about the rather groundbreaking Supreme Court opinion delivered this past Monday in Massachusetts v. EPA. As you probably...
Newt Gingrich is Still an Asshole
(image) Former Speaker of the House, habitual adulterer, general fuckwit and (naturally) possible GOP presidential candidate is at it again. You may remember...
US Government Wants You to Eat Shit and Die
(image) I wish that headline was hyperbole. Unfortunately, its not. While the Republicans controlled Congress food safety inspections dropped considerably...
Career Traitor Turns On Bush
(image) Really, even W should have seen this coming. Matthew Dowd, a former top Texas Democrat who jumped onto the Bush bandwagon in 1999 after being disillusioned...
Feinstein is Both Cunty and a War Profiteer
(image) First, let me address the cunty comment. I know for a fact that Dianne Feinstein is a cunt because I have met her personally and there is no other...
Fuck Mitt Romney
(image) Volume 5 of the FTR series in which he puts the word "fuck" in front of a presidential candidates name. Mitt Romney defines the term...
Bush Too Big Of A Pussy To Throw Out The First Pitch
Today was baseballs opening day. The first president to throw out a first pitch was William Taft in 1910. Since then it has become a tradition for presidents...
Bush Helps The Terrorists
David Hicks is the most glaring example of how poorly the Bush administration is handling their War on Terrorism. The Australian was captured in December...
Viva La Abortion!
(image) Mexico may be joining the fetus killing nations of the world, or at least Mexico City. Yesterday, lawmakers in the capitol began hearings on a...
Meet Irans Armed Revolutionary Liberals
SULEIMANIYA PROVINCE, NORTHERN IRAQ One of the roads leading out of the city of Suleimaniya in Iraqi Kurdistan might as well be renamed Revolutionary...
Marines Can Die For Their Country But Cant Get Tattoos
(image) In one of the most retarded decisions ever, the Marine Corps is banning any new, sleeve tattoos below the elbow or the knee. They claim the tattoos...
Tony Snow More Cancery Than Before
(image) Tony Snow went in for surgery yesterday and the news is not good. Doctors removed a small growth from his pelvic area and tests revealed it was...
Worst Students in the History of Earth Discovered
(image) What the fuck is wrong with the Dakotas? First South Dakota attempted to make all abortions illegal, including those that were the result of rape...
Rwandan Set to Stand Trial in Canada for Genocide
Some seven years after Canada passed laws regarding crimes against humanity, a Rwandan is being charged with (among other crimes) genocide and war crimes.
Holy Shit! Muslims Are Killing Each Other!
This crazy topsy-turvy world just turned more topsy-turvy, or as some would say, Super-duper topsy-turvy. Sunni insurgents in Iraq and al-Qaeda are...
The Iranian Revolution in Iraq
KOMALAH COMPOUND, NORTHERN IRAQ They were supposed to be social democrats, the people Patrick Lasswell and I met yesterday in a compound outside the...
Viacom v. YouTube, aka The Reason You Cant Find Colbert Clips Anymore
(image) On March 13th, the copyright legal showdown we all saw coming officially began. Media behemoth Viacom, owners of Paramount Pictures, Noggin, Comedy...



