Please Dont Fire All The Racists
(image) Now that Don Imus has been fired from both television and radio, we need to slow down and take a look at where we are. We cant fire every radio...
Meet the Iraqi Police in Kirkuk
(image) This is the second in a two part article. Read Part One, Where Kurdistan Meets the Red Zone, here. KIRKUK, IRAQ Kirkuk, like Baghdad, is one...
Some Seriously Bad Mojo Coming for Fat Boy Rove
(image) The Office of Special Counsel is opening a "broad" investigation into the actions of Karl Rove and his White House political operation.
Fuckface Asshole Roundup
(image) A crazy college kid goes on a shooting spree that ends in the largest gun massacre in US history. It is shocking and horrifying. The country has...
Blacks And Whites Actually Dance Near Each Other
(image) Saturday was a big day in Ashburn, Georgia. The students of Turner County High School had their very first integrated prom. Really makes you think...
Grandpa Drinky Takes His Last Shot
(image) One of the worlds greatest drunks died today. Former Russian President Boris Yeltsin went to the big vodka bottle in the sky at the ripe old...
Mayor McDreamy Pledges to Keep San Francisco Open for Undocumented Immigrants
(image) In our never-ending quest to ensure that San Francisco remains ahead of Massachusetts on wingnut talk radios list of Evil Liberal Areas Wherein...
Ontario Gets a Bright Idea About Conservation
(image) For a confluence of good reasons, people even in the US seem to finally be coming around to the concept that energy conservation is a good idea.
US Drops Only Iraq Exit Strategy
(image) Since before any US troops even set foot on Iraqi soil (the second time, that is) critics of the war plan, who unfortunately were not numerous,...
I Guess We Aren't the World Any More
(image) A lot of people probably remember that collaborative musical project in 1985 that resulted in the widespread release of the song "We Are the...
Why Republicans Are Such Fucking Babies
(image) Now, that headline may seem like a biased generalization about Republicans, but it is a scientific fact according to Psychology Today. Suddenly...
No More Limbo
(image) Catholic religious dogma has it all figured out. After you die, if you've been good, you go to heaven. If you were bad, you go to purgatory...
Islam Takes The Lead In Religious Nutjob Race
(image) Just when you think Christians are the nuttiest fuckers in the land, Islam pulls a doozy. A new video that is making its way around Pakistan shows...
Don't Quit Your Day Job, McCain - Bomb Iran?
(image) Naturally we are expected to assume that when Senator McCain tells us that he meant it as a joke, we should take it as such and just let it go.
Russian Security Keeps Kasparov in Check
(image) Russian chess champion Garry Kasparov left a lasting impression on the world when he was defeated by Deep Blue, IBM's chess supercomputer,...
For DC: Finally Some Representation with Taxation
(image) During the American Revolutionary war, "Taxation without representation" was a rallying cry for those opposed to England's heavy...
Where Kurdistan Meets the Red Zone
(image) If Turkey allows itself to interfere in the matter of Kirkuk, we will do the same in Turkey. Kurdistan Regional Government President Massoud...
Couch Hates Black People
First Michael Richards astonished the nation with his racist outburst at a comedy club and now a black Canadian family has encountered a racist couch. ...
Time to Die for No Reason, Hippy
(image) Dont know if youve heard this or not but the military is having a tough time right now. It seems a certain president started an idiotic war...
Can You Guess the Most Powerful Person in American Government?
Did you say George Bush? Please. Dick Cheney? Getting warmer, but no. Karl Rove? Joe Lieberman? Nancy Pelosi? Harry Reid? John Roberts? No, no, no, no...
Jonathan Kesselmans Suicide Watch: Global Warming Is Sexy
As a native Californian, I am glad to hear that Mr. Sschwrazagger has gone green. And I dont mean he finally discovered that Humboldt County has something...
An Army, Not a Militia
(image) SULEIMANIYA, IRAQ Iraq is a country with three armies and Im-not-sure-how-many militias and death squads. The Iraqi Army is nominally the national...
SCOTUS: The Government Has the Right to Ban Medical Care (for Women)
(image) Ladies, we're offically second-class citizens. This according to the Supreme Court, which today found that it's constitutional for lawmakers...
Why Wasnt Steven Biskupic Fired With the Other US Attorneys?
(image) Steven Biskupic is a US Attorney in the state of Wisconsin. During the 2006 Wisconsin Governors campaign, one of the dastardly criminals he convicted...
Blame Video Games
(image) Guns dont kill people - video games do. Or at least Jack Thompson and Dr. Phil would have you believe so. Yesterdays Virginia Tech massacre,...
Crazed Hobbit Wants To Impeach Cheney
Everybodys favorite worst ex-mayor of Cleveland is fighting mad at the vice president and plans to file articles of impeachment. It is being billed as...
Finally, a Really, Really Unsafe Nuclear Power Plant
(image) Russia began building the first of floating nuclear power plants on Sunday. Yes, floating nuclear power plants. What could possibly wrong? Aside...
Barack Obama is the New Hotness
(image) Or so say the first quarter fundraising reports, at least. Not only did he report over 66% more individual donors than Senator Hillary Clinton,...
Democrats Have More in Common With Bush Than They Think
(image) A new Pew study reports that the new Democratic congress only has a 37% approval rating (not much higher than Bush's approval rating.) The...
China Wins War Against River
(image) It appears China has finally defeated the Yangtze River, in what has been an epic battle for centuries. According to the state run newspaper China...
Survey: Americans are More Retardeder than Before
(image) Pew Research has released another study and the results are not good, especially for the idiots who watch Fox News. Americans have actually managed...
How Fun is it to Execute the Insane?
(image) Ah, Texas. How I love your criminal justice system. Basically, the issue is that death row appellants are only allowed one bite at the apple,...
Michael Moore, One Hell Of A Fat Asshole
Michael Moore has decided to use 9/11 responders as pawns in his latest movie. He is taking sick Ground Zero workers to Cuba in an attempt to show that...
Hippies Tell Americans To Go Green
We're all getting sick of these reports that warn of the apocalyptic scenarios that will most likely arise, if people in the industrialized world do...
Bush Administration Seeks to Narrow Court Jurisdiction Regarding Domestic Spying
Remember that whole domestic wiretapping flap? Remember how the US Government went out of their way to spy on their own citizens using illegal warrantless...
People Are Going to Fuck No Matter What
From the How is this News!?! Department of the Center for Really Unsurprising Studies Proving Shit That Is Painfully Obvious To Everyone Except The...
Tony Blair Wants to be a Shock Jock
(image) Seven teenagers have been murdered in London since the end of January. On Friday in East London, 14-year-old Paul Erhahon was stabbed to death.
Gonorrhea, More Like Stayorrhea
Okay, first I want to apologize for that headline. It is quite simply, retarded. Now, onto the serious subject of gonorrhea. I have never had gonorrhea...
Asshole Fuckface Round Up
It has not been a good day for douche bags. Karl Rove, Don Imus and Paul Wolfowitz all are in some deep, deep shit. Im going to start with Imus because...
Even Mormons Hate Cheney
(image) Normally student protests against the Bush administration would be about as noteworthy as a soy bean crop report. But when the schools undergraduate...



