The Democrats are fucking weak. There is no other word in the English language that can describe them any better.

RAMADI, IRAQ – After spending some time in and around Baghdad with the United States military...

Remember Senator David Vitter? A few weeks ago we learned that he used to spend time banging hookers.

Israel has an immigration law called the Law of Return. It allows anyone “with at least one Jewish grandparent to...

Our war against evil polar bears should be wrapped up by 2050, according to scientists. That is the projected year...

The Asshole Fuckface Roundup is back after taking a week off. I was crushed by the horrible summer cold that is murdering...

I often find myself saddened by the level of ignorance some Americans seem to strive for. From waking up to the news...

It’s always nice when old friends remember your birthday. In this case, Osama Bin Laden is sending America a happy...

That is one of Old Man McCain’s...

On September 15th, Bush will release his carefully picked over and re-written version of General Petraeus’ report.

George Bush went to Western Iraq yesterday ...

The British have begun leaving their last base...

We have a leader for the Asshole of the Year Award. Leigh Robbins is a 35-year-old mother of two from Virginia. ...

Just when you think Fox News can’t get any worse, they put on their animal pelts and take out their clubs. Two days...

Today is the day that Washington finally flushes a turd that's...

My Dad once told me that making a deal with the devil is like owning a Rolex clock radio -- sure, it sounds like a...

MUSHADAH, IRAQ – “Al Qaeda terrifies locals,” said Major Mike Garcia from Canyon, Texas, before...

Burma is going through a rough patch. By “rough patch” I mean they have one of the most fucked up governments on...

There is some pretty horrible shit going on in Iran. Take a seat because it is startling. Former president Mohammad...

While trying to light my cigarette this morning on a break during work (my Zippo was out of fuel, sadly), I came across...

In what may be the lamest sex scandal of all time, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, was arrested...

Spin, spin, vomit.



I...

Sometimes when I read a news story I want to run outside and hug the first law enforcement officer I come across.

Australia is retarded. There, I said it. The whole continent. All the people living on it. Retarded. Except for...

THE SUNDAY HANGOVER

So what do we know today that we didn't know last week? Well,...

Without the Asshole Fuckface Roundup, Saturday would be a nightmarishly boring day. We can only assume how suicides...

Mark Foley is a good man, the kind you protect from evil law enforcement officers. He resigned...

As I read through the comments regarding my last piece,...

Finally, a right wing version of MoveOn.org is here!

BAGHDAD – American soldiers arrived in Iraq in 2003 with not much of a plan and little idea what...

The Pentagon feels that hippies are no...

A suburban church outside of Chicago is getting quite lovey-dovey with a sex criminal. First Baptist Church of Romeoville...

You may have heard of William Mulholland. He...

Morale is a big deal in the Army. If morale is down, people do substandard work, they aren’t as motivated and things...

George Bush has decided to crack down on illegal immigration, which will have a negative...

The corruption of the current White House is fucking amazing, especially considering George told us he was going to...

The Lord specifically created Saturday just for the Asshole Fuckface Roundup! If there was not an Asshole Fuckface...

Stock prices have fallen 10% over the past few weeks and we seem to be headed for a global financial crisis. It is...

BAGHDAD – The American soldier sitting next to me flipped open his Zippo lighter and gloomily lit a cigarette. “Do...

500 people. That is the number...