Canada's federal Leaders Debate has never seen a talk like this before. In a debate first, the official Leaders Debates (held October 1 in French and October 2 in English) were changed from a podium setup to a roundtable format. While this decision was partially motivated by space concerns after Elizabeth May, Leader of the Green Party, was confirmed as a participant, it made for an interesting discussion, actual personal replies, and -- at times -- more academic conversations, rather than country club cat fights.

For my own personal first, I live-blogged the English debate, and am here to offer you summaries of each party leader's performance –– y'know, because most of you were busy watching Biden and Palin.

Elizabeth May, Green Party - Winner
No one went into the debate with more hype than Elizabeth May, with the first few days of this election campaign centering around the question of her inclusion. In the French debate, May proved herself capably bilingual, and came off as a spunky -- if eccentric -- leader with a passion for her party's platform. In the English debate, May looked more the part of a political leader, and with excellent timing and delivery got in several bombs, including repeated queries directed at Stephen Harper about his as-yet nonexistent platform. She also championed election reform favouring proportional representation. However, her aptitude at speaking unscripted was known before the debate, while Dion's performance was more a surprise. Ultimately, May proved the Green party is here to stay in Canada.

Stephane Dion, Liberal - A Close Second
Surprising viewers, the little beanpole that could proved himself a true party leader and an actual force with an earnest platform in both the French and English debates. English has never been Dion's strong point, but he paced himself well, encountered few difficulties with vocabulary, and got his point across. Support for Dion leaped up several percentage points after the French debate, and it's likely to increase again in the next poll.

Jack Layton, New Democratic Party
Jack Layton's fear of Elizabeth May before the debate was obvious and expected, considering that the Greens' rise has resulted in fewer NDP supporters. Near the beginning of the English debate, however, he agreed with Elizabeth May several times, hinting at a possible future -- many, many years down the road -- with a Green-NDP alliance. Unfortunately, Layton is at best an average speaker, and won no points with his vague answers today.

Stephen Harper
If Canada's controversial incumbent proved anything in these debates, it is his unwavering ability to unite people against him. In both debates, but especially the English, the four other leaders tag-teamed, hitting Harper with snide remarks and attacks one after another. Meanwhile, the Ice King of Canada attempted to restrain himself, teach his facial muscles to smile, and perfect his family-man-who-wears-sweater-vests image. He really didn't succeed, and the fact that he takes credit for government achievements made before his time and fails to produce a party platform keeps him from (everyone's feared) world domination.

Gilles Duceppe - Bloc Quebecois
Well, Gilles Duceppe is nothing if not honest. In today's English debate he was quick to admit that he will never be Canada's Prime Minister, insisting that no one at the table but Stephen Harper would. Duceppe may be right about his political glass ceiling, but his passion for the arts and Quebec, as well as his vast knowledge of political facts and figures, does prove why he still leads the Bloc.

The first of one vice presidential debates will be held tonight in Saint Louis, Missouri. Most expect it to be a spectacular failure of the candidate they don’t like. The right wing has convinced itself that Joe Biden is a terrible debater and the left have convinced themselves that Sarah Palin is an idiot. While Palin is obviously an idiot, she has managed to harness her idiocy and use it as a positive in previous debates. And Joe likey to talky.

First I will start with Biden. The knock on Biden is he talks too much and is too "spontaneous."

That’s an example the press has chosen to show Biden at his worst. Please don’t pay attention to the fact that everything he said is true. Biden knows his shit, more than almost any other Senator. He’s been around for a long time, debated hundreds of times and will probably produce a sound bite. Here’s the biggest problem with the “Biden talks too much” criticism. Where did he talk too much? In presidential debates with several other candidates onstage. The point was to stand out from the herd, using your personality and your smarts. It’s completely different than this debate. He’s not trying to stand out, just be better than Palin. All he has to do is stick to the facts and appear presidential. Not hard.

There is fear he will come across as a dick against Palin. He has been practicing against Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm, who has a vagina. But this debate is not constructed so that the candidates can speak to each other. They are very restricted by time and will speak to the moderator. Oh, and Obama and Biden are ahead. He has no incentive to be a dick. You know when people are dicks? When they are behind. Just take a look at last week’s McCain Obama debate. McCain spent the entire time attacking and he suffered because of it. Expect the same out of Palin, not Biden.

That’s one of the reasons Biden will win this debate. Palin has to attack and that’s very bad news for her. People don't want attacks, they want information. She is in the worst possible position. She doesn’t offer up specifics in a time when people are craving specifics. Her rise in Alaskan politics came during a time when all was well. Nobody was freaking out about the economy and foreign policy does not matter in governor’s races. Take a look at what one of her recent opponents said:

Well, that’s not true. Her greatest skill has already been taken away from her. Over the past month, she has had a couple of interviews that have shown a spotlight on her inability to be specific and produce facts. This is now considered to be her greatest weakness, but at the same time considered to be her best debating skill. She'll do it, and it will be mocked endlessly until the next McCain Obama debate. Good luck with that.

Very much so, dummy. That’s the last thing people in the US are looking for right now. The big knock on both McCain and Obama from last weeks’ debate was that they did not offer enough specifics on the economic meltdown. Now she is going to offer up an entire debate of fluff. Her base will love it. The rest of America will grow more concerned at her lack of substance.

The big difference between her run for governor and her run for vice president is that the media and everyone else is looking for her to produce nothing. The sharks are in the water, smelling blood and that blood is the vacant words that come from Palin’s mouth. I would expect a few follow-ups by Gwen Ifill, attempting to get Palin to be more specific, but she will continue to dodge. Against the specifics of Biden, she will look vacant and, worst of all, like a female George Bush.

And that brings me to Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United Football Club. Ferguson is the master of getting into other manager’s heads and the referees, as well. Just last week, when the Red Devils were preparing to play the Bolton Wanderers, Ferguson said a particular Bolton player deserved his reputation as the dirtiest player in the Premier League. This does two things: It gets inside the players head and effects his normal play on the field and it gets inside the referees head, unconsciously making him scrutinize the player more. The conservatives are doing that with the moderator as I write.

Ifill has a book coming out called, The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama. The right wing is claiming she is biased and should not be moderating the debate.



Wow, that’s really biased, huh? It’s called straight up journalism and the right wing wouldn’t know it if it crawled into their ass and opened a Starbucks. Turns out one can write a book about the rise of a new type of minority politician and not have it be an endorsement of a candidate. The right wing minions are falling for it and are frothing at the mouth.

This isn’t about the truth; it’s about setting the playing field. It's straight out of the Ferguson playbook. Ifill will be affected by the attacks, whether they are true or not. Her professionalism and impartiality is at stake and there is nothing more important to a quality journalist. So, I would not expect her to be as tough as she would have been three days ago. Chalk that up as a victory for the right wing.

I wouldn’t expect this debate to be a game changer. Palin will appeal to idiots with her non-answer answers. Biden will appeal to people with intelligence, who can handle a complex thought. This is a debate that will pull on people’s deepest instincts. Do you want someone smart to take care of you, or do you want someone warm and comforting?

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

Ahead of tomorrow evening's vice presidential debate, some kind soul has just posted footage on YouTube of lamb-to-the-slaughter Sarah Palin doing the thing she does best: playing the flute.

Before you get too excited, she really is just playing the flute, and badly at that, but she still seems more competent at blowing hot air across the opening of a long hard instrument than anything else we've recently seen her do.

Looking forward to your comments below. Please, don't hold back.

Fine election season apparel for the kids.












Thanks to Phil Gough of Common Sense for the inspiration.

I have to say it is pure joy to watch Sarah Palin’s political career peak and turn to dust in a matter of weeks. It’s actually hard to believe just 27 days ago Sarah Palin stepped on stage at the Republican National Convention and tickled the GOP’s balls. Holy shit, were they excited. It was almost like Jesus had come back in hot housewife form. And to be honest, they should have been excited because they finally had someone on their ticket who was alive.

But those days are over. Sarah Palin was awesome when nobody knew anything about her, but now she is a horrifying prospect. The blame obviously lays at John McCain’s feet for not vetting her and allowing the Christian Right to force a pathetic VP on him. The lack of vetting led to a couple of amazing weeks of information.

First we learned she kills moose. That is, of course, awesome and would be really important if we were some sort of Donner Party stuck in the Alaskan wilderness. Unfortunately, we are a country and killing moose is tragically unimportant. We then learned many other things about Sarah.

She lied about saying “no, but no thanks” to Congress about the “Bridge to Nowhere.” She left the tiny city of Wasilla with an insanely large $22 million debt. She was raised in a gay hating, tongue speaking, witch-stopping church. She tried to ban books. She abused her power by firing town employees without reason. She attempted to have her ex-brother-in-law fired from his law enforcement position and then fired the guy who wouldn’t fire him. She is against abortion in cases of rape and incest. She was mayor when the police chief began charging rape victims for their rape kits. She lied about visiting Ireland. She did not own a passport until 2006. She did not leave the country until 2007. She thinks being near Russia makes her important. It's like an idiot buffet.

Then came the interviews. First Charlie Gibson.



It is generally believed reporters should not have to explain basic facts to vice presidential candidates. She came across as someone who did not know what she was talking about. Mostly because she did not know what she was talking about.

The next interview was with Katie Couric.



She’s gonna bring ‘em to ya!



Russia's right next to her state –– a mere 58 miles across a body of water.



It’s got to be all about job creation!

And she’s not even drunk, like George Bush. That’s just how her brain works. Of course, conservatives began to freak out once they really got a good look at how her brain works. David Brooks wrote...

And now they are beginning to push for her to leave the ticket. The Conservative columnist Kathleen Parker didn’t hold back.

The National Review’s Kathryn Jean Lopez doesn’t think it’s such a bad idea.

But it’s not going to happen. McCain has completely blown it. The election will be over Thursday night at 7:30 PST. At this point, both Biden and the moderator will try to catch Palin with a subject she doesn’t know about. Based on what we are seeing, it won’t be hard. The only way to get out of this mess is to replace Palin before Thursday, but that would also destroy McCain’s campaign, for three reasons.

* Destroys base morale.
* No obvious alternative.
* McCain has overplayed the “game-changer” card.

Welcome to the no-win Palin meltdown. Palin was like a Trojan horse with a thermo-nuclear device inside. McCain could have had a slim shot at the White House without her, but with her, he’s fucking toast.

And I'd like to personally thank Republicans for not choosing Romney, because if he had, Democrats would lose this election. With the current economic crisis, Romney would be talking circles around Obama.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

Yesterday the first volleys were fired by the religious Right against the IRS code that prohibits churches from endorsing candidates from pulpit.

Source

In 1954 Congress amended the tax code to prohibit certain non-profit groups from intervening in a political campaign involving candidates. The provision allows the IRS to strip the offending church of their tax-exempt status.

The Associated Press reported that "...33 pastors in 22 states were to make pointed recommendations about political candidates Sunday, an effort orchestrated by the Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund." This effort was premeditated and well thought out.

So what exactly was said from the pulpits on Sunday? Did it really violate federal law? Most definitely.

It is sad to see that the Republicans have now resorted organized violations of Federal law in order to win this election. Just when you thought the playing field could not get any more dirty the Right pulls this.

So do these pastors have a chance of fulfilling their goals? Not likely with the current lineup of SCOTUS Justices. Robert Tuttle, a professor of law and religion at George Washington University, said there's "virtually no chance" courts will strike down the prohibition. However if McCAin does pull off his perceived Hail Mary play and wins in November the current line-up on the Supreme Court is sure to change.

Not all religious institutions are pleased with the battle lines being drawn. If there is a wholesale revocation of the IRS tax code as it relates to churches many institutions will have to give up programs and services that benefit the community.

My only hope is that these churches will not succeed and that the organizers will be brought up on Federal conspiracy charges.

Image © Austin Cline; Original Poster: Nazi Propaganda

Today is the final day for you to register to vote in many states. Don't be a punk.



Do it.

This week was an epic week for Asshole Fuckfacery. So much so that I actually became enraged when I wrote this. Seriously. What horrible, horrible people. The last one is particularly horrible. So, put on your favorite OshKosh B'Gosh overalls and get ready for the filth. This is going to be ugly.

First up, some Oregon Asshole Fuckfacery.

It seems a week doesn’t go by where I don’t point out some Oregon racism. Wait. What? Yes, some Asshole Fuckface racist in Oregon made himself known by hanging an effigy of Barack Obama on George Fox University.

Naturally, the Christians were quite upset.

Um. Have you talked to any of your fellow Christians lately? The ones in the south have a big hard on for torture.

Oh, Jesus. Have you not noticed Obama is black? It’s not political. They just picked the country’s #1 black guy. How naïve are you guys up there?

Hey, there’s a surprise. Keep on supporting those Christian values of war, torture, less civil rights, global warming, lying and cronyism.

Next up, PETA. Need I say more?

Holy shit, the people involved in PETA take Asshole Fuckfacery to a new level. Do you like ice cream? Would you like all ice cream to be made from ladies breast milk? PETA would.

PETA, I’d like to introduce you to logistics. I’d also like to introduce you to creepy, although, I think you guys have already met.

Yeah. Now close your eyes and picture a herd of women in a barn being milked by a farmer.

Wow, you guys are douchebags. And you should start making ice cream out of babies.

Next up, some amazing right wing Asshole Fuckfacery.

Who to blame for the current economic crisis? The rich oligarchs who recklessly fed off the poor in a shockingly shortsighted and heinous manner? Or brown people? If you’re an Asshole Fuckface, you gotta go with brown people.

The National Review’s Asshole Fuckface extraordinaire, Mark Krikorian, wrote a delightful piece called “Cause and Effect.” In it, he lay the blame where it belongs: With Hispanics.

That’s the “Cause” part. The “Effect” part? Well, obviously if you hire Mexicans and other Mexican like people, your entire bank will fail. Duh. That’s why there are no banks south of the US border. It’s just guys with wads of cash on street corners.

But why stop with blaming Hispanics when there are tons of black people running around?

We really need to stop pretending like Negroes are capable of owning stuff, right, Neil? That your point, you horrible Asshole Fuckface? Minorities are to blame for the bank’s reckless loaning decisions?

Finally, the epic Asshole Fuckfacery of John McCain.

John McCain is an amazing idiot. His actions this week define reckless and he has shown he should not be allowed anywhere near the white house – even as a gardener. To sum up what happened:

The Senate Democrats, Senate Republicans, House Democrats, and Treasury Secretary Paulson spent all week negotiating over a bill to solve the current crisis. On Thursday morning, Senate Democrats and Senate Republicans announced that they had agreed on key points. Then McCain decided he wanted in. He asked President Bush to call a meeting with Obama. Obama did not see the need for it, but attended anyway. The meeting accomplished nothing. Oh, wait, that’s wrong. The meeting destroyed 7 days of careful negotiation. He had no plan. He did not come with better ideas. He just wanted to stop what was happening, so he would appear relevant.

The White House meeting was a complete and total disaster.

McCain did not ask questions during the meeting, he did not do anything, but mumble some bullshit at the end.

And when he finally did…gobbly goo.

The Senator is so disliked by his fellow Senators that he had to join with a group of House Republican fanatics. And make no mistake about it, John McCain has hitched his wagon to complete and total lunatics.

They want less regulation and tax cuts. You know, like curing an alcoholic by giving him a case of Glenlivit. They are insane ideologues who threaten our way of life because of their own self interest.

You know the parents you read about every once in a while, who wouldn’t let their child see a doctor because they believe in prayer – and the child died? That’s what we are talking about when we discuss the people McCain has attached himself to during this financial crisis.

No, actually, I don't.

McCain just jumped to the #1 Asshole Fuckface of all time.

Did you know that a significant portion of our energy consumption is wasted by people leaving their chargers plugged into an outlet when they are not in use? Unplug that shit when you're not using it, you Asshole Fuckface.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

John McCain is too old to be president. It’s pretty simple. The office ages you dramatically. Just take a look at before and after pictures of Bush and Clinton. They appear to have been brutalized by time. It is not an easy job. It is about as demanding as any job gets and the daily responsibility would age anyone. Problem is, John McCain is already old. And please don’t bring up your ageism bullshit. He’s old, regardless of his actual age, the man is already showing signs of wear that make him too run down for the job.

This may come as a surprise to you, but age can actually wear down a person’s cognitive ability. Sure, it depends on the specific individual, but from what I have seen, McCain is a shadow of the man he was in 2000. The quick wit is gone, replaced by increasing episodes of confusion. Too often he can’t answer questions because his ability to is gone. He constantly stumbles and makes horrible errors. Consider a recent statement: “The fundamentals of the economy are strong.” Years ago, McCain would never has said something so simplistically stupid on the day the economy was turning to shit. But if, on the off chance he had, he would have quickly recovered. Now, he doesn’t even know he’s said something idiotic until his staff tells him. That’s just sad.

His supporters say his mother is alive and well. Oh, well his dad died at 70, so what’s your point? Does anyone actually think it’s a good idea to have a president who does not want to work on weekends?

Well, that bodes well for a McCain presidency. I mean, Bush vacationed more than any president in history and look how that worked out.

Oh, that’s even better. The people around him see the effect of working long hours and want him to take it easy. Why? Because he’s old and it’s showing. On the campaign trail the last thing they want the American public to see is the advancing age of McCain. For them, it is better to have McCain seen less and receive less press, than to totally blow it. Just what we need in a president.

If McCain wins, he will be the oldest elected president. He will be the age of Reagan in his second term. Is that a good comparison? The old, Alzheimer’s riddled guy? He is older than FM radio, the Golden Gate Bridge, plutonium, Indonesia, Pakistan, and McDonald’s. He could be a sharp and capable 72-year-old, but he appears not to be.



Age affects everyone differently. Some people are still doing well mentally at 72; McCain does not appear to be one of those people. And the media is just allowing his gaffes and slips to breeze by. His age is, and should be a major point of discussion. But the fear of “ageism” runs rampant. It seems to be on the level of sexism or racism, when it is nothing of the sort. People deteriorate, as they get older. They do not because they are black or a woman. It is a legitimate question to ask – and more so because McCain’s health record. Having secret cancer operations is not a great way to show your spryness. Only allowing reporters 3 hours to look at your thousands of pages of medical records is not either.

McCain is losing his mental sharpness. It’s obvious to anyone who watched him over the years. He should be preparing for retirement, not running for president. He seems to be running because of the past, trying to right a wrong that occurred in 2000. Honestly, it just seems weird that a man who doesn’t want to work that much wants to be president.

I’ve known a few old people in my time. Many start to lose their sharpness, their quick wit and they put on their cranky pants more often. The difference between early Reagan and 1985 Reagan was startling and the same is true of McCain. I’m not saying McCain has Alzheimer’s, just that time has caught up with him and he’s not the man for the job.

Because our media is too scared to bring up what should be one of the most important factors in this election. There are age limits on being an airline pilot and a police officer for a reason. If someone is 72-years-old, they should have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that they are capable of doing the job. McCain is proving he is not on a daily basis.

But the media doesn’t touch the subject. Why? “Ageism.” Everyone is apparently too scared to upset old people or a specific old person named John McCain, which is insane, because it’s the FUCKING PRESIDENCY. It should and must be discussed. “Upsetting people” is not applicable when an old man is running for president. You don’t get the benefit of the doubt when you are running to be the leader of the most powerful military on Earth. No fucking way. It’s astoundingly stupid not to question his mental abilities.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

John McCain has always been completely full of shit, but over the past decade, many people jumped on the “Straight Talk Express.” He appeared to be a refreshing change from all the other politicians who constantly lied. The big problem with this scenario is that McCain has always been a slimy politician and has never actually changed his ways, only the marketing of his brand. He was forced to do so because in the late 80s, his influence peddling led to American taxpayers bailing out Lincoln Savings and Loan for $2 billion. Sound familiar?

John McCain is exactly what is not needed at this time in our history. As our government attempts to throw $700 billion at more failed private businesses, everyone should understand what McCain did during the Savings and Loan Crisis. To put it simply, Johnny pressured regulators to back off Lincoln Savings, even though it was making risky moves. Eventually, Lincoln was seized, many investors were out their life savings and taxpayers were footing the bill of $2 billion. Lincoln’s owner, Charles Keating was arrested.

Lincoln was the most expensive failure in the national S&L scandal. Taxpayers picked up the bill for the bailout.

Johnny and Keating went way back. They met in 1981 at a Navy League dinner. During McCain’s first run for Congress, Keating pulled in a sweet $11K for Johnny. In 1983, he hosted a $1000 plate dinner for McCain, and in 1986, he brought in a nice $50K for Johnny’s Senate run. By the time 1987 rolled around, Keating had tossed $112,000 to McCain.

And those were just the political contributions. McCain’s family also was doing business and traveling on the Keating credit card.

And it paid off.

McCain and four other Senators, who became known as the Keating Five, even went to meet with San Francisco regulators in an attempt to get them to back off American Continental and Lincoln. In the end, to the great frustration of regulators, the savings was not seized for another two years. During that time, much damage was done.

Of course, these are the pre-maverick years we are talking about. Since then, McCain has changed his ways and become a straight shooter. Or, to put it another way, he re-branded himself as a man who learned from his mistakes and would therefore always approach his duties differently. People bought it, even though it was complete bullshit. The bullshit re-branding was the only way for McCain to survive as a politician. He was the sober alcoholic, the clean drug addict, the asshole who found Jesus. And it worked.

But McCain has never stopped being the slimy politician that he is. Here’s a pick of Johnny meeting with con man Raffaello Follieri, on a yacht in Montenegro two years ago. It was Johnny’s birthday! What better way to spend it than on a boat with a criminal?!

Sweet. That’s some serious straight shooting and mavericking. Oh, and Follieri pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud, eight counts of wire fraud and five counts of money laundering last week.

Alright, you’re saying, that’s just McCain and a foreign con man. Could have happened to anyone, right? Yep. Just the same way campaign manager Rick Davis happened to head up a Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac lobbyist group called Homeownership Alliance.

So, Johnny’s campaign manager WAS the problem. But he’d love you to believe something else.

Right. Standing up to special interests is what McCain is all about. That’s why he was one of the Keating Five and has Davis as his campaign manager. That’s why his campaign is overflowing with lobbyists, 83 to be exact. Naturally, some have connections to Fannie and Freddie Mae.

So, as you can see, McCain is getting far away from those same special interests that lead him down that Keating Five road. But that’s not even the worst of McCain’s connections. No, the worst is Phill Gramm.

Phil Gramm used to be a Senator. In the year 2000, he used a “backroom maneuver to slip into law” a bill that kept credit default swaps unregulated.

Guess how that bill worked out? Yes, he’s one of the main architects of the current financial disaster. Oh, and it also allowed Enron to “run rampant.” Remember Enron? Yeah, that would be Gramm.

He’s a walking disaster of a human being.

But that doesn’t stop the Maverick from looking to Gramm for advice.

After Phil Gramm called Americans “whiners” a couple of months ago during a speech on the economy, he was forced to step down from the McCain campaign. But that does not mean McCain has ruled him out as treasury secretary. Check out McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds on Friday.



Good news. Right now there is one man in America who should not be treasury secretary: Phil Gramm. But McCain can’t rule him out. If you are a conservative and you vote for McCain, turn in your conservative card. You are living a lie.

If McCain is elected president we are completely fucked.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

The United States Department of Homeland Security scares the hell out of me. What is really bad is I am a United States citizen and it scares the hell out of me. It really has to be scary to someone that isn't a citizen of the United States.

Think of this scenario. You fly back into the United States after visiting some friends in Europe. A Homeland Security Officer, specifically a Transportation Security Agent hands you a pair of pliers and tells you to remove your nipple ring.

Congratulations TSA. You're brilliant. Forcing someone to remove a piercing, in a rather personal spot, with pliers kind of does scream that procedures should be changed. If there were any damn procedures in the first place and they aren't just running this security thing by the seat of their pants.

That's old news. Now onto the new news. This is the type of thing where I strongly believe that any government official should have at least a general knowledge of current technology.

Back in April of this year, the Ninth Circuit Court decided that searching laptops without reason is well within the law, and does not violate any Fourth Amendment Rights.

So wait. Now I am confused. The Ninth Circuit says that TSA Agents can search my papers, effects, laptops, iPods, iPhones and other electronic devices without probable cause, but the Fourth Amendment says that they cannot. Unless the probable cause is "Everyone is a Terrorist". Then it kind of makes sense.

Well, at least they have to have reasonable suspicion to check my large intestines, that is comforting.

Don't worry though! Rep. Loretta Sanchez (D-CA) introduced a new bill to help with this! Well, not so much help, but at least you will get a receipt for the expensive piece of electronic equipment that the TSA Agent, who makes just more than minimum wage, is illegally seizing from you.

Basically, what Rep Sanchez is trying to do is bring more accountability to the TSA and Homeland Security. She is trying to create paper trails so we can figure out what they are doing.

So what does all this boil down to? The TSA can illegally (in my opinion) search your laptops, iPods, iPhones and Blackberries. They can also seize these devices if they deem it necessary. Rather than fix this problem, they are trying to pass legislation in order to make the TSA accountable for the electronic devices they are seizing. It seems like legislation we really shouldn't need in the first place.

Here is an idea. Let's not treat every single person that is entering the United States as a potential terrorist. Let's not presume that every single person entering the United States is guilty rather than innocent.

I cannot even begin to imagine what this is doing for business travel in the United States. What practical business person would want to travel to the United States and have their legitimate business files searched and possibly their laptop seized? For that matter, who would want to leisurely travel to the United States and suffer the same outcome? This has to be affecting our business and tourism trade.

What makes this even worse is that most terrorists probably know more technologically than what the TSA or Homeland Security is giving them credit for. It leads me to believe that the TSA Agents are searching for someone who is wearing a shirt that says "I R A TEAROREST!".

I would have to go ahead and assume that most terrorists know there are multiple ways around specifically having information stored to the hard drive of an electronic device. Things like peer-to-peer connections, online repositories and this internet thing, can walk right around security in an airport or at a border. This is the point where technology is an important knowledge to have if you are a public official.

Something needs to be changed. The system we are currently dealing with is greatly flawed. These issues are obviously big reasons not to visit the United States for business or for pleasure. With our economy the way it is now, we shouldn't be doing anything that will prevent money from flowing into our country.

I am tired, as a citizen of the United States, of being afraid to leave the country and return, even though I have done nothing wrong. I don't deserve to have my personal items seized on behalf of National Security.

We need to have officials in charge of things like the Security of the Nation, that are educated in technology so that processes like this can be eliminated or streamlined to make more sense. Accountability of the TSA and Homeland Security is a good idea on paper and in legislation, but in application we are making them accountable for something they shouldn't be doing in the first place.

DevilsReject just chooses not to leave the country anymore and sits in his basement with his 77 ferrets. Alone.

Asshole Fuckface is not just a label. The term can also be used as a verb, such as, “I am going to do some serious Asshole Fuckfacing today.” Since the term became common in the 12th century, many people have used it over the intervening years. Before invading Poland, Hitler is thought to have said, “I’m going to Asshole Fuckface the shit out of Poland.” Ted Bundy used to say he would put on his “Asshole Fuckface mask and go out Asshole Fuckfacing.” Today, I search out those who enjoy Asshole Fuckfacing and I drag them into the light for you to mock and throw soiled items at. This week was particularly shocking, so climb into your favorite plastic box, carve a couple of eyeholes and enjoy the Asshole Fuckface Roundup.

First we go to Chicago, where an Asshole Fuckface teacher opened her pie hole.

An unnamed Chicago teacher was teaching her sixth grade class about the history Mesopotamia, when she decided to explain terrorism. Apparently, in her Asshole Fuckface mind, the best way to do so was to use the only Muslim Arab student in the class as an example.

Good work.

Shocking. Who could have guessed that would happen? The family wants the teacher to be fired, but the school district has just transferred her to another school, hopefully to one with out any horrible 13-year-old terrorists.

Next up, it’s September, so that means Asshole Fuckface Republicans are getting down to business.

Yes, fall is almost upon us. That means the leaves turn yellow and Republicans attempt to remove black people from the voter rolls. In Indiana, they are using voter ID laws, which require voters to show their ID when they vote, to keep all the scary black people from voting.

Republicans claim they are just stopping voter fraud. Of course, there are almost zero incidents of people voting when they aren’t eligible –– I mean, besides Ann Coulter.

In Wisconsin, Republican Asshole Fuckfaces are taking it a step further.

The lists are “riddled with errors.” Remember, disenfranchising voters is more important than non-existent individual voter fraud.

Oh, and the Florida “error” that kicked thousands off voter rolls in 2000 is still going strong.

I don't know how this could go wrong.

Next up, a prosecutorial Asshole Fuckfacery.

Natalie Walters occasionally takes her father to the Boise VA Medical Center. When she is there, she fills up her own mug with soda and usually pays $1 or $1.50. But a couple of weeks ago, the cashier told her she owed $3.80.

So, Walters said she didn’t want to pay for it and therefore, didn’t want the soda. This is when the story gets awesome. The manager told her the soda was already in the cup, so she would have to pay for it. Walters said, “no.” Then she became angry and poured the soda on the counter.

Okay, not cool. But sometimes people lose their heads and shit happens. Usually a stern talking to is in order, followed by an apology, right? Fuck no. She fucked with the Boise VA hospital cafeteria. She’s got to pay.

Yeah, stick it to her. After all, that counter was really sticky and whatnot. Thank God there are some Asshole Fuckfaces, like US Attorney Tom Moss, to take care of horrible criminals, like Walters. We are safe because of men like him.

And finally, the amazing Asshole Fuckfacery of John McCain.

John McCain is a tremendous Asshole Fuckface and he proves it nearly everyday of this election campaign. After the government bailouts of so many private companies, the Old Man and his team realized they needed to tie Obama to the crisis. Oh, and there was another black guy out there.



Whoa! Holy shit! That other black guy is bad! And did you see that poor white lady at the end? She would have a great life if it wasn’t for those two black guys! And please don’t pay attention to the fact that the new bad black guy isn’t and never has been an Obama adviser.

And that is something the McCain camp knew days BEFORE making this ad.

Really? Too bad the Washington Post doesn’t agree.

That’s newspaper talk for “liar.” So, what McCain has done is create an ad linking a guy to Obama who has little to do with Obama and is black. Oh, and they threw in a poor, white lady at the end. The ad has obvious racial undertones and if you don’t think so, then you are a fucking moron.

Obama does have close much closer and more damaging ties to a former Fannie Mae CEO, but that guy was white, so they went with the Raines ad first. After the Post called McCain a liar, he rolled one out with the white guy. What a complete and total Asshole Fuckface.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

This one means quite a bit to me, personally. Ever since L.B.J., my home state of Nebraska has been staunchly Republican, giving our 5 little electoral votes to whatever clown happens to have an (R) by his name. But Nebraska is one of two places (the other being Maine) that has a funny little hitch to its voting: we can split our electorals 4-1. And Obama is trying to do just that

Now, here comes the fun part: Nebraska is far more diverse than is commonly known. Our two current Senators (Hagel and Nelson) are known as being the furthest from their respective parties in respect to following the party line. Plus, we've had some of the most interesting politicians come from here. Ever heard of Bob Kerry? He was known for being very liberal, particularly since he was both Governor and Senator of a "conservative state."

We're also the home of Ernie Chambers, a barber who spent 35 years kicking conservative ass in the state senate chambers. He'd still be there, but a new term-limits bill (specifically set up to get rid of him) forced him out of office. But I digress.

Why should this be important? For one thing, it forces McCain to spend money and campaign in places that should almost automatically be his for the taking. Not just annoying for him, but it divides his attention from key states. But that is a minor issue.

To me, this is a sign that Obama is taking ALL supporters seriously. He is giving people who have been largely ignored a chance to raise their voices. It is showing a disheartened group that we can count.

And that right there is the sign of a good leader.

Coyotemike will say "BOO-YAH!!!" if Obama wins by Nebraska's one electoral split vote.

Hilary once appeared to be the perfect candidate for feminist voters –– intelligent, determined, and dedicated in her pursuit of valiant social causes like children's welfare and women's equality. Hilary was also the first first lady in American history to have a postgraduate degree and a full-time career.

She didn't manage it. Twice! Ouch. Obama picked Biden. So what about the new girl? Perhaps it would be sexist to view Palin as a Hilary replacement, but we can't help but wonder if the force that would invigorate the McCain vote was chosen for just that reason.

No one can accuse Palin of spending too much time baking. Her power-hungry appetite would be better satiated by abusing her position and firing anyone who gets in her way. Anne Kilkenny, Wasilla resident, tells it like it is.

This is hardly a one-off case. Sarah seems to have a history of ruthlessness, whilst playing on her gender for sympathy. Too bad she tried to replace her victim with someone even worse.

Her staunch pro-life stance, even in the case of rape, would suggest that she doesn't seem to be interested in assuring women can make their own choices

She's chosen to be a working mother but she would deny other women the right to make their own decisions, and has even used her own underage, pregnant daughter as a political pawn for her own views. She even lied about it. She wants to abstinence-only sex education taught in schools. Because that worked out so well for her own family.

She knows how to spend! (... other peoples' money.) She served two terms as mayor of Wasilla (1996-2002) and left the city with a debt of over $22 million, having increased general government expenditure by over 33%. I've heard she has the decorating skills and moral fibre reminiscent of a young Martha Stewart...

Easy on the gold leaf, Sarah. Damn, that's expensive wallpaper!

So far, she doesn't seem like much of a feminist. But look at it another way. Hunting hardly seems the kind of activity befitting a dull stay-at-home Stepford wife. She used the tools handed her to get what she wanted out of life –– an education. Sometimes a girl gotta hustle.

For some reason, she spent 5 years in 4 schools getting her degree. Perhaps it took her that many schools to find people she could threaten. Or put her beauty-pageant skills to work on.

And lastly, HERE's a video of Sarah and Hilary (sort of) standing side by side on Saturday Night Live, calling for an end to political sexism. Kinda.