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  • TUESDAY APRIL 12 2005 8:00 PM

WV: "Damn that Fine Print!"

As if laws in the so called "Bible-Belt" don't draw enough laughter and irony; West Virginia lawmakers recently discovered they should probably learn to read before being elected, as English has been declared the "official" language of the state.....right under everyones noses.

The language amendment was quietly inserted into a bill addressing the number of members that cities can appoint to boards of parks and recreation. Among mundane details about record-keeping, the amendment adds the provision that "English shall be the official language of the State of West Virginia."


My proposal for the next set of legislation is a bill requiring a "monotone-fast-talking guy" from TV and radio commercials to read the fine print for everyone.

 

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Comments
dpk

dpk

Seattle, WA
November 2004

APR 12, 2005 08:29 PM

Nice. One can hope, for efficiency's sake alone, that other states follow this lead. A single language (even if, for some reason it isn't English (not sure why that would be at this point)) would be excellent.

dpk

dpk

Seattle, WA
November 2004

APR 12, 2005 08:33 PM

Of course, one can also hope that, with English now the official language, that the senators will learn to read the English bills before voting.

thischarmingham

thischarmingham

Oakland, CA
January 2004

APR 12, 2005 08:54 PM

I don't really get why this is funny...I mean weird a little I guess. I was under the impression that english was the official language of this whole country. Someone tell me if I'm missing some collosal joke.

darwinsjoke

darwinsjoke

Virginia Beach, VA
July 2003

APR 12, 2005 08:56 PM

thischarmingham said:
I don't really get why this is funny...I mean weird a little I guess. I was under the impression that english was the official language of this whole country. Someone tell me if I'm missing some collosal joke.



the US has no official language. this bill is another example of legislators voting without reading what they are voting on.

outtolunch

outtolunch

Los Angeles, CA
December 2003

APR 12, 2005 08:57 PM

there is no official language of the country.

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

APR 12, 2005 08:59 PM

I saw an article aboout this earlier today and did some checking. It turns out that West Virginia is 95% white and non-Hispanic. Does anyone know what the catalyst for this was?

BraveArt

BraveArt

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

APR 12, 2005 08:59 PM

I garn dum dint even knowed that them spaked anglish in wess virrginia

FrankMask

FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN
June 2003

APR 12, 2005 09:16 PM

Honestly, I've always wanted to refuse to address the court in English. Not that I've ever been to court, and not that I can speak Spanish or Japanese enough to address a court, but I've always wondered if they could legally force me to speak English.

Stiles

Stiles

Philadelphia, PA
November 2002

APR 12, 2005 09:16 PM

The reason English is declared the official language of a state by law is to prevent the state from printing official forms or providing other communications with the public in any other language, usually Spanish.

anger_frog

anger_frog

I'm lost
January 2004

APR 12, 2005 09:20 PM

unravled said:
I saw an article aboout this earlier today and did some checking. It turns out that West Virginia is 95% white and non-Hispanic. Does anyone know what the catalyst for this was?



The whole Applachian area never recovered from the Great Depression, so the permenantly stagnant economy has kept migration to a trace minimum. In fact, West Virigina has one of fastest dwindling populations of any state, as anyone with hopes for a future gets out as soon as they can (which leaves the remaining population lacking in anything resembling culture or intelligence, which makes being stuck here all the more agonizing).

However, there is a population boom of Latin minorities taking place currently in West Virginia and Kentucky. More than likely the state legislation was hoping to get a headstart on oppressing the minority before they acculumate enough numbers to prove any major political resistance.

Max16Characters

Max16Characters

Korea, Republic Of
March 2003

APR 12, 2005 09:21 PM

unravled said:
I saw an article aboout this earlier today and did some checking. It turns out that West Virginia is 95% white and non-Hispanic. Does anyone know what the catalyst for this was?


Maybe the state was about to go 94% white and that's just too unhomogenous surreal

jonasgrumby

jonasgrumby

Alexandria, VA
April 2004

APR 12, 2005 09:35 PM

It doesn't appear to have been that big a secret...

SoEffinHappy

SoEffinHappy

Philadelphia, PA
April 2003

APR 12, 2005 09:44 PM

Perhaps they saw the provision and decided that they didn't care about it enough to vote against it. Call me a moron, but I'm failing to see the irony too.

Nescafe

Nescafe

Winter Park, FL
June 2003

APR 12, 2005 11:24 PM

thischarmingham said:
I don't really get why this is funny...I mean weird a little I guess. I was under the impression that english was the official language of this whole country. Someone tell me if I'm missing some collosal joke.



The "official language" request is always a pretty good sign of a persons insecurity. What exactly does this "official language" designation mean. Will we run ads now stating... "English, The Official Language of the _insert event or group here_!"

Will English get an official Mascot, Anglo the Eagle mayhaps?

Nobody asks you to be multi-lingual. Nobody cares if you can't understand them.

Many countries do just fine with DOZENS of spoken languages.

Many people would be no less stupid if they did speak perfect english.

Also... its colossal.

ThisIsWhoWeAre

ThisIsWhoWeAre

Oakland, CA
July 2004

APR 12, 2005 11:31 PM

I don't get the fuss. If somebody snuck in that the official language was Huttese or Klingon, it would be hilarious. But English? whatever

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