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John Kerry the video game

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 19 2004 11:32 AM

Submitted by BatAttaK. Edited By legionnaire.

From the file entitled "truth is stranger than fiction" comes the new video game in which you too can become John Kerry and whoop some butt Swift Boat style.

Available for download from kumawar.com as a free seven-day trial, the game will put players in the combat boots of a 25-year-old Lt. Kerry on Feb. 28, 1969, the date he earned his Silver Star citation.

Players will have the opportunity to view and participate in the action from Kerry's perspective, up to and including the point where Kerry beached his swift boat on the banks of the Mekong and chased down the enemy on foot.

But in a nod to game play, "Swift Boat PCF-94" will not hue strictly to Kerry's experience. On Feb. 28, 1969, Kerry was indeed the tactical commander of a three boat squadron that suffered repeated ambushes. And on that day he is credited with overriding common swift boat procedure by pressing the attack. But whereas Kerry only beached his swift boat once, players may have the option in "Swift Boat PFC-94" to up the action from Silver Star winner to Rambo.

"Our first objective is to replay that events that occurred in 1969," said Halper. "But we also want to allow people the chance to experience some sort of free-form play."

This election has now become officially surreal.

20 Comments

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jewcy

Brooklyn, NY

July 2004

SEP 19, 2004 11:41 AM

i'm going to hang out and wait for a game based on george bush's service record.
i'll get to sit around with my frat buddies and drink beer, and.. uh.. drink more beer.

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 11:42AM]

jake_lex

Lexington, KY

February 2003

SEP 19, 2004 12:23 PM

jewcy said:
i'm going to hang out and wait for a game based on george bush's service record.
i'll get to sit around with my frat buddies and drink beer, and.. uh.. drink more beer.

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 11:42AM]

I hear in that game if you do well enough, you unlock a bonus level where you go do lines at Camp David.

darwinsjoke

Virginia Beach, VA

July 2003

SEP 19, 2004 12:51 PM

jake_lex said:

I hear in that game if you do well enough, you unlock a bonus level where you go do lines at Camp David.

i want to see the level where you do enough coke to burst your heart.

Patrick_Lasswell

Portland, OR

January 2003

SEP 19, 2004 01:21 PM

I tried playing it, but after throwing three grenades it kept dropping me out of the game.

Dr_Zoidberg

Raymore, MO

June 2004

SEP 19, 2004 01:22 PM

jake_lex said:

I hear in that game if you do well enough, you unlock a bonus level where you go do lines at Camp David.

Is that before or after the level where youy testify before congress?

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH

April 2004

SEP 19, 2004 01:37 PM

I was really gung-ho about the game when I first heard about it, but now that I've played it, I think it's terrible and anyone who plays it is evil.

jewcy

Brooklyn, NY

July 2004

SEP 19, 2004 02:04 PM

jake_lex said:

I hear in that game if you do well enough, you unlock a bonus level where you go do lines at Camp David.

don't forget the secret bonus round, when you install your brother as secret governor of florida and steal the election.
you gotta crawl before you can walk.

tenmile

Minneapolis, MN

January 2004

SEP 19, 2004 03:07 PM

Patrick_Lasswell said:
I tried playing it, but after throwing three grenades it kept dropping me out of the game.

I realize that you think what is good for the goose is good for the gander, but christ almighty will you look at yourself.

Do you deny that he volunteered for two hitches of inevitable combat?

Seriously dude, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 3:10PM]

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 5:39PM]

EndedBen

Grand Rapids, MI

August 2004

SEP 19, 2004 03:14 PM

tenmile said:

Patrick_Lasswell said:
I tried playing it, but after throwing three grenades it kept dropping me out of the game.

Lasswell, you are one fantastic prick--you sure as hell better have served to talk such fucking bullshit

I realize that you think what is good for the goose is good for the gander, but christ almighty will you look at yourself.

Are you really that stupid to not realize what you are saying? Do you deny that he volunteered for two hitches of inevitable combat?

I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt so far--but now as far as I'm concerned, you can eat the crn outta my sht.

IDIOT!

Seriously dude, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 3:10PM]

Dental Plan!!

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH

April 2004

SEP 19, 2004 03:21 PM

tenmile said:
IDIOT!

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 by Cigarette]

aerosolinvasion

Tacoma, WA

January 2004

SEP 19, 2004 03:25 PM

i love music.

tenmile

Minneapolis, MN

January 2004

SEP 19, 2004 03:32 PM

Cigarette said:

tenmile said:
IDIOT!

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 by Cigarette]

That MO-FO is lucky I couldn't fit my num-chucks in my locker today.

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 3:33PM]

tenmile

Minneapolis, MN

January 2004

SEP 19, 2004 04:40 PM

Quoted from Lasswell's profile

I was a guardsman from 1995-1998, although I moved to the inactive reserve in 1996 for health reasons. I served in the Naval Reserve from 1984-87, and was on active duty from 1987-1995.

I submit this because he refuses to address people that call him names. For the record, I have not served at all.

Now, how the hell does someone serve in the Navy for that long and have such disrespect for the actions of someone who volunteered for combat in a time of war?

Well, here's my guess:

Mr Lasswells experience was almost certainly not up close and personal. So it is probably pretty easy for him--with likely engagement with the enemy amounting to launching Minuteman missiles from a dark ship at night--to trivialize the actions of Kerry.

Let's put it this way:

Mr Lasswell, having served in the military, is certainly aware that a great deal of fatalities occur from accidents and not from combat. So I wonder what kind of smirking disdain he holds for the guys who are injured or die in accidents?

His bar is pretty high (for someone who has never had to chase an enemy combatant into the jungle or captain an open boat into enemy territory on a narrow river)

[Edited on Sep 19, 2004 5:38PM]