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  • FRIDAY JULY 3 2009 11:30 AM

Asshole Fuckface Roundup #104

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by nicole_powers

Tags: Joe Lieberman, Al Carlin

Mmm. Asshole Fuckfacery. You know you love it. You know you want it. Each week I scour the news for the worst of the worst and present them to you for mocking. So, get your hottest pants on and let's get this party started.

First up, some worst Senator alive Asshole Fuckfacry.

Apparently, it’s not difficult for Joe Lieberman to be the worst Democrat alive. It’s just something he excels at. This week, Joe came out against a “public health plan.” That’s just how he do. Being a Democrat, from a Democratic state, he’s decided not to go with the only thing that will bring down health care costs. He’s decided not to go with a public plan that 90% of Democrats want and 70% of Americans want. He against it!

"If we create a public option, the public is going to end up paying for it."



Wait a minute. Slow the fuck down. This is very difficult and complex stuff and your rushing through it makes it even worse. So, you're saying that if we create a public option, the public is going to end up paying for it......fuck, I still don't get it. Start over. All I know is that right now we are throwing bags of money at private insurance companies – but that’s not “paying for it.” I don't get this "public" shit.

"My fear is...[health care providers] would end up getting levels of reimbursement from the public plan...comparable to what they get today from Medicaid."



Oh noes! We must save the health care providers from losing out on their insane profits! Let's just ignore the fact that the public plan being addressed is comparable remuneration-wise to Medicare - which is better. Blah, blah, blah, facts are dumb.

Remember way back when Asshole Fuckface Lieberman was running for the Senate in 2006? After losing in the Democratic primary? And he decided to run from the left?

July 6, 2006 primary debate:

And what I'm saying to the people of Connecticut, I can do more for you and your families to get something done to make health care affordable, to get universal health insurance, to make America energy independent, to save your jobs and create new ones. That's what the Democratic Party is all about.



Sept. 21, 2006, during the general election campaign.

After spending most of his Senate career advocating piecemeal health care reforms, Joseph I. Lieberman said Wednesday he strongly supports universal health care.

Lieberman devoted a conference call with reporters to an issue that his main rival in the U.S. Senate race, Democratic nominee Ned Lamont, has highlighted in recent days.

"I have long supported the goal of universal health care," Lieberman told reporters. "Ned Lamont can talk about it. I've been doing something about it all the time I've been here."



Liar! And an Asshole Fuckface!

Next up, some logic fail Asshole Fuckfacery.

Obviously, Obama is destroying our country. He’s a communist, he’s in love with Iran and he is black. It’s very upsetting if you sit back and look at the whole picture. As an American who loves America so much, he would like to blow America while singing “God Bless America,” I know there is only one way to save our country: Blow it up.



Finally someone is talking some sense up in this bitch. The only way to save America is to destroy it first. It’s like Danny Bonaduce. Same deal. No way we see another Oklahoma City bombing during Obama's presidency.

Next up, some global warming denier Asshole Fuckfacery.

Oh, the right wing has a new poster boy. He works for the EPA and he hates him some global warming. That’s why he put together an extensive scientific study to show the world it is not real. Global warming is a hoax!

The author, EPA veteran Al Carlin, is an economist, not a climate scientist.



Whatever. Dudes got EPA credentials. The right wing is in a tizzy because Carlin’s report is being buried! Buried, I tell you!

It's unclear whether Carlin was supposed to be a member of the working group of staffers whose input on the document was actively solicited. He says he thought he was, since he was included on emails about the document, and invited to meetings on the issue. But the EPA subsequently said he wasn't.

But Carlin was soon told by a colleague coordinating responses to the draft that there were "reservations" about including Carlin's comments in the finding. Soon afterward, NCEE director Al McGartland informed Carlin that his comments would not be included. McFarland then told Carlin via email not to have any further contact with other EPA staff on the issue of climate change, and not to do any more work on the issue.



Don't hate the playa, hate the game! Why does the EPA want to shut down the truth?!?! Ask yourself that question. The EPA is part of the global warming religion and will do anything to hide the truth!

A NASA climatologist has called the report, "a ragbag collection of un-peer reviewed web pages, an unhealthy dose of sunstroke, a dash of astrology and more cherries than you can poke a cocktail stick at."



Um, yeah. That’s what science is. Jesus said that.

Thankfully, we have lawmakers who won’t let this horrible injustice go unanswered.

A top Republican senator has ordered an investigation into the Environmental Protection Agency's alleged suppression of a report that questioned the science behind global warming.



Senator Inhofe won’t let this stand! Why are you burying a scientific report you never asked for, that was created by an economist? You’ve got some answering to do, EPA. Next we’ll hear that you’re hiding a report from a janitor on the friendly nature of volcanoes. No matter how much you want this to go away, Obamepa, it ain’t! The truth must be told! You fuckers opened up a can of corruption!

Now, Rep. Joe Barton is taking the outrage to a new level. This morning on America's Newsroom, the industry-friendly Texas Republican accused the EPA of suppressing the report, and declared that "just as Nixon had Watergate, Obama now has Carbongate to deal with."



It’s totally not embarrassing! Go Republicans!

Finally, some San Diego Asshole Fuckfacery.

Well, it was only a matter of time before Democrats started getting pepper sprayed. Who knew it would be beautiful San Diego that would kick it off? Democratic House candidate Francine Busby was holding a fundraiser last Friday night when things took a wrong turn.

The Sheriff's Department received the complaint at 9:33 p.m. from a man who said someone was talking on a loudspeaker and a crowd was cheering, keeping him awake.



Dude. It’s Friday. Someone should call the cops on you for being lame.

In reality, the party wasn’t loud at all.

Neighbors on three sides of the house said yesterday there wasn't much noise from the party. One man said he slept through it.



Apparently dude had some other issues with the fundraiser.

During Busby's speech, Barman said in a statement yesterday, a man on the property behind her house shouted “disparaging remarks” about Busby and gay people. Barman lives in the house with her partner, Jane Stratton, 55.



I’m guessing the words “Dikes” and “Lesbos” were tossed around a bit by Mr. I Can’t Sleep Because Gay People Are Next Door. Thankfully, the awesome Deputy Marshall Abbott arrived to calm the situation down. This is a good time to ask if it’s a good sign when people call 911 to report a cop going apeshit.

When the homeowner questioned why she had to provide her date of birth, the deputy grabbed her arm, put it behind her back, and brought her to the ground. Feeling intimidated by a group of mostly middle-aged women, he pepper-sprayed a number of guests and arrested Barman.



That’s pretty much the usual response to a noise complaint, I guess. Abbot then called in the calvary. Multiple cops arrived, as did a helicopter and a dog unit – for a bunch of middle aged women. Hey, I wonder if this has anything to do with them being gay?

Stay classy, San Diego!

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper You may also enjoy his blog, Stop All Monsters.

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Tiger_Fodder

Tiger_Fodder

Braintree, MA
June 2007

JUL 04, 2009 03:27 PM

Republicans (which includes Joe Lieberman he just doesn't have the balls to admit it) and San Diego suck. Carry on!

ENFORCER99

ENFORCER99

Vacaville, CA
July 2009

JUL 04, 2009 04:50 PM

Hunkpapa said:

ENFORCER99 said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Hunkpapa said:

ENFORCER99 said:

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it

Tell us about these people. How many are there? Personally, as someone in Britain, I think it's pretty good.

ENFORCER99 said:
If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare??

People here work. They pay tax. Some of that tax money is used to fund the health service. How is that 'not working' for our healthcare?



"MAR 18 2009: Statistics published by the British Medical Journal calculate that one in ten patients admitted to NHS hospitals will fall victim to medical injury, which have now become Britains fourth biggest killer, In addition to errors by healthcare professionals, patients are also finding themselves at increased risk when in hospital, by exposure to superbugs such as MRSA and CDifficile. In June, the Health Care Commission reported that 25% of primary care and hospital trusts in England were not meeting statutory hygiene standards"

"Despite spending nearly C$100 billion (US$64 billion) per year on healthcare – the most per capita among countries that run a similar system – a study released last week by the Fraser Institute, a public-policy think tank in Vancouver, shows that Canada ranks only slightly higher than Hungary, Poland, and Turkey in the quality of service its citizens receive.

hey that national healthcare system is working great for you, hopefully you stay with the good side of that statistic, hey everyone in these countries is so happy they have national healthcare woot woot!!

Yeah, congrats on spewing out lots of stuff that isn't related to what I asked.



its totally related your statistics are right there, your just trying hard to play it off... its ok ill play with you your nations healthcare plan is fantastic along with all the rest

ENFORCER99

ENFORCER99

Vacaville, CA
July 2009

JUL 04, 2009 04:56 PM

Tiger_Fodder said:
Republicans (which includes Joe Lieberman he just doesn't have the balls to admit it) and San Diego suck. Carry on!



you seem like one of the liberal type that want to drive around cars powered off of cow farts

Hunkpapa

Hunkpapa

United Kingdom
June 2004

JUL 04, 2009 05:44 PM

ENFORCER99 said:
its totally related your statistics are right there, your just trying hard to play it off... its ok ill play with you your nations healthcare plan is fantastic along with all the rest

Your stats prove nothing other than some people get bad medical treatment. I assume that's the best you've got.

sick

sick

Minneapolis, MN
June 2003

JUL 04, 2009 05:46 PM

I've been listening to the commercials from the CPR (Conservatives for Patients' Rights), and I have to say they've convinced me. I don't want some bureaucrat coming between my doctor and me.

Particularly not when that bureaucrat is an amoral, profit-driven insurance company executive that knows nothing about medicine.

Tiger_Fodder

Tiger_Fodder

Braintree, MA
June 2007

JUL 04, 2009 05:49 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

Tiger_Fodder said:
Republicans (which includes Joe Lieberman he just doesn't have the balls to admit it) and San Diego suck. Carry on!



you seem like one of the liberal type that want to drive around cars powered off of cow farts



I drive a Prius for now.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

JUL 04, 2009 05:49 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

Tiger_Fodder said:
Republicans (which includes Joe Lieberman he just doesn't have the balls to admit it) and San Diego suck. Carry on!



you seem like one of the liberal type that want to drive around cars powered off of cow farts



It's nice to have another voice of reason on the CE Boards. Welcome! smile

Tiger_Fodder

Tiger_Fodder

Braintree, MA
June 2007

JUL 04, 2009 05:52 PM

TheFuckOffKid said:

ENFORCER99 said:

Tiger_Fodder said:
Republicans (which includes Joe Lieberman he just doesn't have the balls to admit it) and San Diego suck. Carry on!



you seem like one of the liberal type that want to drive around cars powered off of cow farts



It's nice to have another voice of reason on the CE Boards. Welcome! smile



I know. More idiots to ignore. That bagged avatar sure is getting a work out.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

JUL 04, 2009 05:53 PM

Starla said:

pagnaet said:

Starla said:
Actually, I also believe the only way to save America is to destroy it and begin again from the bottom up with a grassroots society ruled by the people. Probably won't happen.


It might work, if enough people were wiped out, but it wont take long for us to be right back were we are. Human corruption is human nature, as is the apathy that comes with it.

If another attack does occur, it will probably be the last straw holding back the wave that completely wipes out our rights. If not martial law, then unbridled police power will run rampant. Every dystopian nightmare realized. The system is fucked. Our elected officials solely represent their corporate sponsors. We need to put the smack down on corporations, and kick the lobbyists the fuck out of the Capital. That would be a good start.



I suppose it does depend on the people. I think Michael Scheuer has some idea of what I and some others have been thinking, that the current system needs to be destroyed by violence (which is basically an asshole fuckface representation of a similar train of thought) but not exactly the same picture, and that's something I would like to point out. No, it doesn't have to be Osama that bombs the United States -in fact it should not even be an outside force, and it doesn't necessarily need to be a bomb...
The politicians will never see the error of their ways. They will continue for as long as they possibly can to take money from corporations, and then when corporations run out, they will take money from the people to feed to corporations, to in turn, continue to overfeed themselves to a sickening degree. NOTHING will ever change that besides their total destruction - the destruction of the structure of society, government and economy as it has been growing for hundreds of years. They will NEVER change if they are not forced by the people they are pushing down.
The only way to change this is to destroy everything as we know it and for the people who care about their country and their independence and eachother to come together...
That would include (improbably) finding a way to to make the media an informer of the people, and not a product of corporations. If a revolution comes through the destruction of a capitalist government, we would take a step backwards in having the same corporations that ran our governments still feeding stories to the media, buying stories like advertising space.
so that's what I meant when I said "It probably won't happen" - as anything Osama (at least - but let's say anyone else as well) has, would not wipe out the population, but more likely it would demolish oh, say Washington DC and the pentagon, leaving a little bit more up to us.


as bad as things are, i have a really hard time seeing anything good coming from that scenario. certainly not anything better than the existing situation. societies that feel threatened generally turn conservative, both socially and fiscally. the solution you're proposing would actually exacerbate the problem you're attempting to solve.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

JUL 04, 2009 06:10 PM

Starla said:
Actually, I also believe the only way to save America is to destroy it and begin again from the bottom up with a grassroots society ruled by the people. Probably won't happen.


Ruled By The People!

That would be different how, exactly?

Never mind. Rhetorical question, not admitting of a sensible answer.

dholokov

dholokov

Toronto, ON
April 2003

JUL 04, 2009 06:12 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

Hunkpapa said:

ENFORCER99 said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Hunkpapa said:

ENFORCER99 said:

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it

Tell us about these people. How many are there? Personally, as someone in Britain, I think it's pretty good.

ENFORCER99 said:
If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare??

People here work. They pay tax. Some of that tax money is used to fund the health service. How is that 'not working' for our healthcare?



"MAR 18 2009: Statistics published by the British Medical Journal calculate that one in ten patients admitted to NHS hospitals will fall victim to medical injury, which have now become Britains fourth biggest killer, In addition to errors by healthcare professionals, patients are also finding themselves at increased risk when in hospital, by exposure to superbugs such as MRSA and CDifficile. In June, the Health Care Commission reported that 25% of primary care and hospital trusts in England were not meeting statutory hygiene standards"

"Despite spending nearly C$100 billion (US$64 billion) per year on healthcare – the most per capita among countries that run a similar system – a study released last week by the Fraser Institute , a public-policy think tank in Vancouver, shows that Canada ranks only slightly higher than Hungary, Poland, and Turkey in the quality of service its citizens receive.

hey that national healthcare system is working great for you, hopefully you stay with the good side of that statistic, hey everyone in these countries is so happy they have national healthcare woot woot!!

Yeah, congrats on spewing out lots of stuff that isn't related to what I asked.



its totally related your statistics are right there, your just trying hard to play it off... its ok ill play with you your nations healthcare plan is fantastic along with all the rest



The Fraser Institute should not be considered a credible source of information. On several occasions (most notably their annual calculation of Tax Freedom Day) their methodologies have been shown to be deceitful.

Furthermore, to paraphrase my post from the last page, the relevant question Americans should be asking themselves isn't "Do some people in countries with universal healthcare find some sort of fault with their systems?" but rather "is their system better than ours?"

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 05, 2009 12:25 AM

ENFORCER99 said:

Tiger_Fodder said:

ENFORCER99 said:

Tiger_Fodder said:
Republicans (which includes Joe Lieberman he just doesn't have the balls to admit it) and San Diego suck. Carry on!



you seem like one of the liberal type that want to drive around cars powered off of cow farts



I drive a Prius for now.



so i was pretty much right on target



Well, you showed him and his better gas mileage. What's next? Maybe he recycles! Stick it to him.

Otoki

Otoki

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

JUL 06, 2009 02:49 PM

dholokov said:

ENFORCER99 said:

Hunkpapa said:

ENFORCER99 said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Hunkpapa said:

ENFORCER99 said:
bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it

Tell us about these people. How many are there? Personally, as someone in Britain, I think it's pretty good.

ENFORCER99 said:
If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare??

People here work. They pay tax. Some of that tax money is used to fund the health service. How is that 'not working' for our healthcare?



"MAR 18 2009: Statistics published by the British Medical Journal calculate that one in ten patients admitted to NHS hospitals will fall victim to medical injury, which have now become Britains fourth biggest killer, In addition to errors by healthcare professionals, patients are also finding themselves at increased risk when in hospital, by exposure to superbugs such as MRSA and CDifficile. In June, the Health Care Commission reported that 25% of primary care and hospital trusts in England were not meeting statutory hygiene standards"

"Despite spending nearly C$100 billion (US$64 billion) per year on healthcare – the most per capita among countries that run a similar system – a study released last week by the Fraser Institute , a public-policy think tank in Vancouver, shows that Canada ranks only slightly higher than Hungary, Poland, and Turkey in the quality of service its citizens receive.

hey that national healthcare system is working great for you, hopefully you stay with the good side of that statistic, hey everyone in these countries is so happy they have national healthcare woot woot!!

Yeah, congrats on spewing out lots of stuff that isn't related to what I asked.



its totally related your statistics are right there, your just trying hard to play it off... its ok ill play with you your nations healthcare plan is fantastic along with all the rest



The Fraser Institute should not be considered a credible source of information. On several occasions (most notably their annual calculation of Tax Freedom Day) their methodologies have been shown to be deceitful.

Furthermore, to paraphrase my post from the last page, the relevant question Americans should be asking themselves isn't "Do some people in countries with universal healthcare find some sort of fault with their systems?" but rather "is their system better than ours?"


Your post was much more patient and reasonable than n00bTroll deserves.

rottentothecore

rottentothecore

United Kingdom
December 2008

JUL 08, 2009 12:37 PM

All i have to say is that you, Enforcer, are an idiot, come try our health care system for yourself, then tell us what you think. At least people arent dying here unecessarily because they cant even get health care. At least everyone has a shot. No one and nothing is perfect but....i'm telling you our health care system is fine and it doesn't leave people to die.
And if we don't like the standard of care our government provides we have the opportunity to go Private and have everything done quicker and more comfortably.
If you can't afford it however, you aren't left in debt just to survive.

rottentothecore

rottentothecore

United Kingdom
December 2008

JUL 08, 2009 12:39 PM

Oh and i forgot...statistics don't prove anything. They use a small sample to suggest things that could be true and can be twisted to support views such as yours. Unless someone asks everyone and goes to every single hospital, they cannot prove anything. It's just a theory wink. I did psychology and statistics. I know my shit.

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