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  • FRIDAY JULY 3 2009 11:30 AM

Asshole Fuckface Roundup #104

Mmm. Asshole Fuckfacery. You know you love it. You know you want it. Each week I scour the news for the worst of the worst and present them to you for mocking. So, get your hottest pants on and let's get this party started.

First up, some worst Senator alive Asshole Fuckfacry.

Apparently, it’s not difficult for Joe Lieberman to be the worst Democrat alive. It’s just something he excels at. This week, Joe came out against a “public health plan.” That’s just how he do. Being a Democrat, from a Democratic state, he’s decided not to go with the only thing that will bring down health care costs. He’s decided not to go with a public plan that 90% of Democrats want and 70% of Americans want. He against it!

"If we create a public option, the public is going to end up paying for it."



Wait a minute. Slow the fuck down. This is very difficult and complex stuff and your rushing through it makes it even worse. So, you're saying that if we create a public option, the public is going to end up paying for it......fuck, I still don't get it. Start over. All I know is that right now we are throwing bags of money at private insurance companies – but that’s not “paying for it.” I don't get this "public" shit.

"My fear is...[health care providers] would end up getting levels of reimbursement from the public plan...comparable to what they get today from Medicaid."



Oh noes! We must save the health care providers from losing out on their insane profits! Let's just ignore the fact that the public plan being addressed is comparable remuneration-wise to Medicare - which is better. Blah, blah, blah, facts are dumb.

Remember way back when Asshole Fuckface Lieberman was running for the Senate in 2006? After losing in the Democratic primary? And he decided to run from the left?

July 6, 2006 primary debate:

And what I'm saying to the people of Connecticut, I can do more for you and your families to get something done to make health care affordable, to get universal health insurance, to make America energy independent, to save your jobs and create new ones. That's what the Democratic Party is all about.



Sept. 21, 2006, during the general election campaign.

After spending most of his Senate career advocating piecemeal health care reforms, Joseph I. Lieberman said Wednesday he strongly supports universal health care.

Lieberman devoted a conference call with reporters to an issue that his main rival in the U.S. Senate race, Democratic nominee Ned Lamont, has highlighted in recent days.

"I have long supported the goal of universal health care," Lieberman told reporters. "Ned Lamont can talk about it. I've been doing something about it all the time I've been here."



Liar! And an Asshole Fuckface!

Next up, some logic fail Asshole Fuckfacery.

Obviously, Obama is destroying our country. He’s a communist, he’s in love with Iran and he is black. It’s very upsetting if you sit back and look at the whole picture. As an American who loves America so much, he would like to blow America while singing “God Bless America,” I know there is only one way to save our country: Blow it up.



Finally someone is talking some sense up in this bitch. The only way to save America is to destroy it first. It’s like Danny Bonaduce. Same deal. No way we see another Oklahoma City bombing during Obama's presidency.

Next up, some global warming denier Asshole Fuckfacery.

Oh, the right wing has a new poster boy. He works for the EPA and he hates him some global warming. That’s why he put together an extensive scientific study to show the world it is not real. Global warming is a hoax!

The author, EPA veteran Al Carlin, is an economist, not a climate scientist.



Whatever. Dudes got EPA credentials. The right wing is in a tizzy because Carlin’s report is being buried! Buried, I tell you!

It's unclear whether Carlin was supposed to be a member of the working group of staffers whose input on the document was actively solicited. He says he thought he was, since he was included on emails about the document, and invited to meetings on the issue. But the EPA subsequently said he wasn't.

But Carlin was soon told by a colleague coordinating responses to the draft that there were "reservations" about including Carlin's comments in the finding. Soon afterward, NCEE director Al McGartland informed Carlin that his comments would not be included. McFarland then told Carlin via email not to have any further contact with other EPA staff on the issue of climate change, and not to do any more work on the issue.



Don't hate the playa, hate the game! Why does the EPA want to shut down the truth?!?! Ask yourself that question. The EPA is part of the global warming religion and will do anything to hide the truth!

A NASA climatologist has called the report, "a ragbag collection of un-peer reviewed web pages, an unhealthy dose of sunstroke, a dash of astrology and more cherries than you can poke a cocktail stick at."



Um, yeah. That’s what science is. Jesus said that.

Thankfully, we have lawmakers who won’t let this horrible injustice go unanswered.

A top Republican senator has ordered an investigation into the Environmental Protection Agency's alleged suppression of a report that questioned the science behind global warming.



Senator Inhofe won’t let this stand! Why are you burying a scientific report you never asked for, that was created by an economist? You’ve got some answering to do, EPA. Next we’ll hear that you’re hiding a report from a janitor on the friendly nature of volcanoes. No matter how much you want this to go away, Obamepa, it ain’t! The truth must be told! You fuckers opened up a can of corruption!

Now, Rep. Joe Barton is taking the outrage to a new level. This morning on America's Newsroom, the industry-friendly Texas Republican accused the EPA of suppressing the report, and declared that "just as Nixon had Watergate, Obama now has Carbongate to deal with."



It’s totally not embarrassing! Go Republicans!

Finally, some San Diego Asshole Fuckfacery.

Well, it was only a matter of time before Democrats started getting pepper sprayed. Who knew it would be beautiful San Diego that would kick it off? Democratic House candidate Francine Busby was holding a fundraiser last Friday night when things took a wrong turn.

The Sheriff's Department received the complaint at 9:33 p.m. from a man who said someone was talking on a loudspeaker and a crowd was cheering, keeping him awake.



Dude. It’s Friday. Someone should call the cops on you for being lame.

In reality, the party wasn’t loud at all.

Neighbors on three sides of the house said yesterday there wasn't much noise from the party. One man said he slept through it.



Apparently dude had some other issues with the fundraiser.

During Busby's speech, Barman said in a statement yesterday, a man on the property behind her house shouted “disparaging remarks” about Busby and gay people. Barman lives in the house with her partner, Jane Stratton, 55.



I’m guessing the words “Dikes” and “Lesbos” were tossed around a bit by Mr. I Can’t Sleep Because Gay People Are Next Door. Thankfully, the awesome Deputy Marshall Abbott arrived to calm the situation down. This is a good time to ask if it’s a good sign when people call 911 to report a cop going apeshit.

When the homeowner questioned why she had to provide her date of birth, the deputy grabbed her arm, put it behind her back, and brought her to the ground. Feeling intimidated by a group of mostly middle-aged women, he pepper-sprayed a number of guests and arrested Barman.



That’s pretty much the usual response to a noise complaint, I guess. Abbot then called in the calvary. Multiple cops arrived, as did a helicopter and a dog unit – for a bunch of middle aged women. Hey, I wonder if this has anything to do with them being gay?

Stay classy, San Diego!

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper You may also enjoy his blog, Stop All Monsters.

 

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DeadRat

DeadRat

United Kingdom
February 2006

JUL 04, 2009 08:39 AM

kiderman said:
Nationalized health care is the worst thing that could happen to this country. If the government gets control of health care, they will have complete control over every facet of our lives. They can tell us exactly what we can and can't do because it's dangerous and we won't give you health care if you do this or you don't do that. And they would start with something innocuous that most Americans won't have a problem with. Like smoking or mandatory immunizations. Some people would raise hell but not the majority and it would slip through the cracks. But what about when they take away something that you enjoy doing because it's bad for your health? The government is slowly aquiring more and more power. When will America wake up and decide that it has grabbed too much?



You are soooooooo right, that's exactly what countries with public healthcare like Canada do: If the lifestyle of any citizen doesn't agree with the policy from the party in power, they take away all their drug and restrict their access to doctors.

pagnaet

pagnaet

Amarillo, TX
March 2005

JUL 04, 2009 12:05 PM

hellboy7 said:
I really wish we could hear more from veterans about the VA, both good and bad stories as well as from any other folks from nations with Universal Healthcare coverage. Anyone?


I dont have alot of experience with the VA, but that day will come sooner than Id like.. I can say, the doctor assigned to me wont really do anything because a certain substance is present in my urinalysis, even though said substance is far more effective than the anti-depressant she prescribed (and with far less digestive side-effects). I can see this happening with universal care.
I could rant about the VA itself, but that isnt part of this thread.

ENFORCER99

ENFORCER99

Vacaville, CA
July 2009

JUL 04, 2009 12:27 PM

bean said:

ENFORCER99 said:

FearTheReaper said:

ENFORCER99 said:
to all that thinks the nationwide healthcare thing is a great idea, think about the vets. theres only a couple thousand of them out there and they dont even get proper healthcare now, they had to fight over seas and now they have to fight for healthcare here??? i dont see how they can take care of the nation when they cant even get that figured out. fuck the Dems and obama on this



You do realize Bush and the Republicans were in charge when they privatized VA services and cut vets healthcare, right? There is literally nothing in this post that is worthy of being in the healthcare discussion.



i dont like bush either, fyi Dems were the party who contemplated not paying active duty military there salary to make up for funds.... and its happened more than once in the past. so does this make your post not worthy of this discussion


When was that? I'm not saying it didn't happen, but I don't remember that. I do remember Republicans cutting veterans' benefits left and right in 2005 and 2006.

The point that you seem to have missed, in FearTheReaper's comment, is that a lot of the services that are fucked up in the VA are problems specific to the VA, the way the VA is run, and the fact that a lot of the services the VA provides have been outsourced to corner-cutting private companies.

In any case, neither of those things have much to do with the thread. Veterans' benefits and the VA are their own issue, and problems with the VA don't have any more in common with the proposed public plan than do problems in any other government agency. We might as well be talking about the FBI.



its irrelevant when you have a small number of the population gettting healthcare just like you want it for the whole nation??? Please tell me you dont think you should have equal medical benefits when compared to a Vet??? how could you justify that one look at the big picture man, there not getting right now so how could it get any better for you. Obama isint the savior of the USA

ENFORCER99

ENFORCER99

Vacaville, CA
July 2009

JUL 04, 2009 12:31 PM

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it, and have claimed its a failed cause. If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare?? So you can be "looked after". I work for my money i dont want to pay that tax money to people that dont deserve it

Pip

Pip

Framingham, MA
OLD SKOOL

JUL 04, 2009 12:43 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it, and have claimed its a failed cause. If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare?? So you can be "looked after". I work for my money i dont want to pay that tax money to people that dont deserve it




And I don't want my hard earned money that I pay for health care to go to some multi-0million dollar salary for an insurance industry exec that knows nothing about medicine. How is this better than being taxed?

SergeantPsycho

SergeantPsycho

USA
January 2007

JUL 04, 2009 01:52 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it, and have claimed its a failed cause. If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare?? So you can be "looked after". I work for my money i dont want to pay that tax money to people that dont deserve it



It's nice to have another voice of reason on the CE Boards. Welcome! smile

dholokov

dholokov

Toronto, ON
April 2003

JUL 04, 2009 02:08 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it, it



Know what every single health care reform agitator in Canada says after they claim the public health care system is failing? Essentially it's:

"Now I'm not saying we have to switch to a system as bad as they have in the States..."

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

JUL 04, 2009 02:08 PM

SergeantPsycho said:

ENFORCER99 said:
theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it, and have claimed its a failed cause. If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare?? So you can be "looked after". I work for my money i dont want to pay that tax money to people that dont deserve it


It's nice to have another voice of reason on the CE Boards. Welcome! smile


*insert Picard pic here*

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 04, 2009 02:15 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it, and have claimed its a failed cause. If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare?? So you can be "looked after". I work for my money i dont want to pay that tax money to people that dont deserve it



Medicare, Medicaid are appropriate comparisons.

The VA is not.

Hunkpapa

Hunkpapa

United Kingdom
June 2004

JUL 04, 2009 02:28 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it

Tell us about these people. How many are there? Personally, as someone in Britain, I think it's pretty good.

ENFORCER99 said:
If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare??

People here work. They pay tax. Some of that tax money is used to fund the health service. How is that 'not working' for our healthcare?

ENFORCER99

ENFORCER99

Vacaville, CA
July 2009

JUL 04, 2009 02:37 PM

FearTheReaper said:

ENFORCER99 said:

theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it, and have claimed its a failed cause. If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare?? So you can be "looked after". I work for my money i dont want to pay that tax money to people that dont deserve it



Medicare, Medicaid are appropriate comparisons.

The VA is not.



"The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) was established on March 15, 1989, succeeding the Veterans Administration. It is responsible for providing federal benefits to veterans and their families. Headed by the Secretary of Veterans Affairs, VA is the second-largest of the 15 Cabinet departments and operates nationwide programs for health care, financial assistance and burial benefits."

so the VA is nothing to compare nation wide healthcare with??? imn pretty sure at the bottom it says "operates nationwide programs for healthcare........

ENFORCER99

ENFORCER99

Vacaville, CA
July 2009

JUL 04, 2009 02:57 PM

Hunkpapa said:

ENFORCER99 said:

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it

Tell us about these people. How many are there? Personally, as someone in Britain, I think it's pretty good.

ENFORCER99 said:
If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare??

People here work. They pay tax. Some of that tax money is used to fund the health service. How is that 'not working' for our healthcare?





"MAR 18 2009: Statistics published by the British Medical Journal calculate that one in ten patients admitted to NHS hospitals will fall victim to medical injury, which have now become Britains fourth biggest killer, In addition to errors by healthcare professionals, patients are also finding themselves at increased risk when in hospital, by exposure to superbugs such as MRSA and CDifficile. In June, the Health Care Commission reported that 25% of primary care and hospital trusts in England were not meeting statutory hygiene standards"

"Despite spending nearly C$100 billion (US$64 billion) per year on healthcare – the most per capita among countries that run a similar system – a study released last week by the Fraser Institute, a public-policy think tank in Vancouver, shows that Canada ranks only slightly higher than Hungary, Poland, and Turkey in the quality of service its citizens receive.

hey that national healthcare system is working great for you, hopefully you stay with the good side of that statistic, hey everyone in these countries is so happy they have national healthcare woot woot!!

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

JUL 04, 2009 03:00 PM

Anyone could easily pull up a dozen articles about people dying in American ERs while being ignored by the staff. Health care isn't perfect.

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

JUL 04, 2009 03:05 PM

MrCrisp said:
Anyone could easily pull up a dozen articles about people dying in American ERs while being ignored by the staff. Health care isn't perfect.


Psh. Medical deaths that aren't caused by socialism don't count.

Hunkpapa

Hunkpapa

United Kingdom
June 2004

JUL 04, 2009 03:08 PM

ENFORCER99 said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Hunkpapa said:

ENFORCER99 said:

bdeaxn said:
Ugh i'm sorry but if Universal Health Care works for England, France and many other countries, why do you assume kiderman and enforcer that it wont work for America?
You say the governments will have control over every aspect of your lives, but it doesnt work like that. Universal health care means..universal. No matter what they have to treat you, wether you smoke or eat unhealthy.
I live in England and i'm telling you...there is no fucking way in hell i'd ever live in America aslong as it has not got Universal Healthcare. It's sickening that you have to pay a whole load of money to be able to get help if you are potentially dying or injured. It's complete bullshit and a basic human right.
I can't even comprehend the amount of debt some people must get in just trying to continue living normally. Here if i hurt myself, i go to hospital, they sort it, i leave. If i get cancer say..i go to a fewhospital appointments, maybe have an operation or two and then if they can save my life i'm good to go. The point is your hospitals are not any better, cleaner or more efficient than ours just because you pay fuck loads of insurance. Here we pay taxes, a fair amount each household can pay, and that is used to help EVERYONE no matter if they can afford to pay or not. It's called looking out for your own people.



theres many people in england,france, and canada that hate it

Tell us about these people. How many are there? Personally, as someone in Britain, I think it's pretty good.

ENFORCER99 said:
If you dont work for something in your life why should you get healthcare??

People here work. They pay tax. Some of that tax money is used to fund the health service. How is that 'not working' for our healthcare?



"MAR 18 2009: Statistics published by the British Medical Journal calculate that one in ten patients admitted to NHS hospitals will fall victim to medical injury, which have now become Britains fourth biggest killer, In addition to errors by healthcare professionals, patients are also finding themselves at increased risk when in hospital, by exposure to superbugs such as MRSA and CDifficile. In June, the Health Care Commission reported that 25% of primary care and hospital trusts in England were not meeting statutory hygiene standards"

"Despite spending nearly C$100 billion (US$64 billion) per year on healthcare – the most per capita among countries that run a similar system – a study released last week by the Fraser Institute, a public-policy think tank in Vancouver, shows that Canada ranks only slightly higher than Hungary, Poland, and Turkey in the quality of service its citizens receive.

hey that national healthcare system is working great for you, hopefully you stay with the good side of that statistic, hey everyone in these countries is so happy they have national healthcare woot woot!!

Yeah, congrats on spewing out lots of stuff that isn't related to what I asked.

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