Mexico is sending a present. It’s kind of a shitty present because it can kill you. Totally not cool, Mexico. It’s almost like you don’t care about all the money we spend on your drugs or the way we let your people pick our vegetables for almost nothing, then scorn them for trying to live. Whatever. Mexico has decided to send the swine flu our way and I am totally not interested.

Mexico has been hit hard by the swine flu and it’s a bit disturbing. The virus is apparently a new one that we haven’t seen before, but it is also a descendant of the 1918 flu virus that killed 50 million peeps. All H1N1 viruses are descendants of the 1918 virus, but they pick up a little something special along the way to make themselves stand out a bit. This flu has the pig part, with a little bird and human virus genes thrown in, which makes it “very unusual.” Me no likey very unusual flu. And it’s a mover.

Super. Basically, the CDC and WHO are freaking out because they don’t know exactly what is going on. They know a flu is spreading, but they don’t know how deadly it is. At the time I wrote this article, 149 people were confirmed dead in Mexico and there were 40 confirmed cases in the US, a few in Canada, Scotland, New Zealand and some suspected cases elsewhere. It’s already all over the place and it’s just getting going.

The cases in the US and Canada are very mild, which has confused scientists even more. On one hand, it could have co-infected with other microbes in Mexico to create a super death flu or it could be the same virus that has mutated into a less lethal form. Or it could be the treatment methods in Mexico. And nobody knows how many Mexicans have come down with a mild case of the flu. Sounds awesome, right?

The Mexican president is saying the problem is under control, while the death toll increases. On Sunday, when the president made his claim, 86 people were dead. Now we're up to 149 and people on the ground are saying it is much worse.

Ruh roh.

Nada bueno, amigos. And it gets worse. The 1918 flu killed so many because young adults were the most likely to die. This flu appears to be the same deal. It causes the body’s own defenses to work against the body -- those that succumb drown from an extreme build-up of fluid in the lungs which is brought on by the body's immune response. So, the people least likely to die from this flu are those under 3 and over 60. Those most likely to kick it are between 20 and 40. This is one of the key signs of a pandemic flu. The 1918 flu killed 2.5% of those infected, while this Mexico version is killing 7% of reported cases. Hence the freak out.

The government is now saying it’s not if we have outbreaks, it's when.

The question is how bad will it get? Economically, given our current situation, a full-blown pandemic would be fucking devastating. Pandemic waves commonly last 12 weeks. Did you know some government agencies recommend you stockpile enough goodies to get by for 12 weeks? Are you ready? I can hold on for 6 days, then I’m going to need milk and some kind of cheese cracker situation. Grocery stores don’t keep more than a week’s worth of food, if that. Now imagine a run on grocery stores if a pandemic breaks out? How’s that look? What if the flu sweeps through your local power or water plant? How’s that going for you? What about your garbage men? Now that they’re all infected, trash is piling up and the rats are out. Also, enjoying all those imported cheap foods? They aren’t happening because the border is closed. How do you feel now that half of the doctors and nurses have quit? Not so good?

Our society is actually quite fragile. Aside from the deaths, fear is the next big bad during a pandemic. It leads to people doing all sorts of crazy things. The economy would nose dive because of all those employees staying home because they are sick, staying home because they are afraid of becoming sick and staying home because they are quarantined with a family member who is ill.

So, this one could be the big bad or it could be nothing. I suggest you keep an eye on it and maybe do a little prep.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper