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  • TUESDAY APRIL 21 2009 6:00 AM

Medieval Tea Party

Tags: Tea Party

Diary entry - 4/18/1312

Had a very good day today. Woke up early, as the rain had broken through the straw roof. Again. Me bed of leaves is in need of replacement. Being winter, however, there’s no leaves about, so I just may need to take some straw from the roof. Also will have to sweep out the reed floor, because of all the mud, crumbs and animal drippings. Michael is suffering from dysentery, as well, and has done a number on the floor more than once.

Ate porridge with some ripe cheese. Not too many maggots in the cheese this morning, which I took as a sign things is turning ‘round a bit. After breakfast, left my seven-year-old son Jean, to plow the field with Lord Marat’s ox I borrowed. I prayed nothing would happen to the beast, as I need the boy to live. He's strong for a seven-year-old! I took some wheat up to Lord Marat’s mill. He was generous in only taking one sixth of me wheat in exchange for using his mill. Milling didn’t take too long. After went out to work in the Lord’s field.

Saw a wild boar while working the carrots. Oh, I would have liked to have killed it and had a nice feast for the others, but not really worth being killed for, now is it? Especially right on the heels of watching Charles burned alive for killing those wild ducks. Lord Marat doesn’t take kindly to killing wild game on his land. Anyway, I’ve got bread and ale waiting for me tonight.

Heard John’s arm fell off yesterday. Shame that. He had a problem with the fungus in his rye flour over the winter, so it’s not a big surprise. I knew he had turned blotchy red. Apparently, he’s just babbling and staring at the sky now. Hopefully Lord Marat can find something for him to do that just requires one arm. It’s a shame it happened now, right after he paid Lord Marat a death duty and a fine for inheriting his father’s land. Losing his best pig and then having to give his second best pig to the church as an inheritance tax, and now an arm? Seems a bit too much for one man to bear.

The boy came by the field to tell me the priest had stopped by to collect the tithe. Five eggs, bag of flour, basket of firewood, 1/10th of me wheat and a chicken. Don’t get me started on them priests, livin’ the life up there, with all the food they want and going at it with all those young boys.

Just then, a crowd comes down the road, making noise and carrying signs. I saw Gaston and asked him what was going on. He says the King wanted to take an extra 3% in taxes from Lord Marat. Can you imagine? Three percent?!?! Course, I was enraged. We all were - even though he's going to use the money to give we peasants a bit more wheat. I grabbed me pitchfork and joined the mob, as we marched through the village. How dare the King Philip make Lord Marat pay more taxes! It’s an outrage! When’s it going to stop! Someone called it a “Porridge Party.” Not sure why, something about that time when they tossed all that porridge in the Reine because of the church taken too high a tithe. Whatever, porridge party is a good name as any, but it’s still just another indignation meeting. It was odd to have some of the knights involved in this one, especially after they raped me brother’s wife and daughters before killing him. Jacque actually said a couple of the knights started this march. We ended up burning down the local garrison. The king’s knights ran like women. It was a damned good time.

When I got home, learned me wife had gone into labor and died during birth, while I was at the porridge party. The baby died, as well. And to top it off, me youngest son, Lawrence, succumbed to the Black Death. What a fucking day! After the tithe and giving the wheat to use the mill, I haven’t anything left to hire gravediggers, so I spent the night with a hoe digging graves for me family. The whole time I was digging, I still couldn’t get that 3% out of me mind. Lord Marat has to pay a whole 3% to the King?!?!? Enough is enough! I expect more Porridge Parties!

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper


 

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thekiller

thekiller

I'm lost
November 2004

APR 21, 2009 07:13 AM

The Original Tea Party wasn't really about the .03 tax on tea, as paying the tax was cheaper than buying the black market tea at the time. Likewise, this Tea Party wasn't so much about tax rates as what we feel as a lack of representation by our Government (even though ours is elected as opposed to back then). This includes excesses by both the current administration and the last(and those before it), and pretty much all of Congress. There's no free lunch, and Bush's deficit that Obama's gladly multiplying will come due.

Quella

Quella

USA
July 2008

APR 21, 2009 08:47 AM

lovely. smile

Katieesq

Katieesq

USA
June 2008

APR 21, 2009 09:48 AM

Geoffrey Chaucer you are not.

Adroitbeing

Adroitbeing

I'm lost
September 2003

APR 21, 2009 09:58 AM

thekiller said:
The Original Tea Party wasn't really about the .03 tax on tea, as paying the tax was cheaper than buying the black market tea at the time. Likewise, this Tea Party wasn't so much about tax rates as what we feel as a lack of representation by our Government (even though ours is elected as opposed to back then). This includes excesses by both the current administration and the last(and those before it), and pretty much all of Congress. There's no free lunch, and Bush's deficit that Obama's gladly multiplying will come due.



Blah, blah, blah guberment bad, blah, blah, blah I don't have any solutions, blah, blah, blah I wonder what Ayn Rand is doing tonight! Thank god the highway is still open so I can shoot over there and check her out!

abbazappa

abbazappa

Sacramento, CA
June 2006

APR 21, 2009 10:26 AM

^^ Good job in advancing the debate with a meaningful response^^
I would also like the add that the Tea Party Protest wasn't really about a single issue but a culmination different ideas and topics. You had the people that are upset about taxes, the amount of spending both sides have been apart of, the small group of people that just don't like Obama, and the one I personally am for; support for HR 1207 aka audit the Federal Reserve.

Heigai

Heigai

Columbus, OH
May 2004

APR 21, 2009 10:45 AM

abbazappa said:
^^ Good job in advancing the debate with a meaningful response^^
I would also like the add that the Tea Party Protest wasn't really about a single issue but a culmination different ideas and topics. You had the people that are upset about taxes, the amount of spending both sides have been apart of, the small group of people that just don't like Obama, and the one I personally am for; support for HR 1207 aka audit the Federal Reserve.



So you're admitting it was incoherent, then? If y'all decide to do this again next year, and especially if you're planning on doing it on TAX DAY, maybe the rhetoric about it "not being about (er, maybe only not solely about) taxes" should be hammered out a little better. Don't you think?

DeviantDissident

DeviantDissident

Richmond, VA
March 2004

APR 21, 2009 11:06 AM

Oh goodie it's the lost chapter of the Canterbury Tales, you know I was thinking of going to one of those Tea Parties I heard the tea there is spot on. I don't want my whole family to die though because the moral of this story is obviously that if you have a dissenting opinion from the majority your whole family will die and your life will go to shit. whatever

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

APR 21, 2009 11:25 AM

thekiller said:
The Original Tea Party wasn't really about the .03 tax on tea, as paying the tax was cheaper than buying the black market tea at the time. Likewise, this Tea Party wasn't so much about tax rates as what we feel as a lack of representation by our Government (even though ours is elected as opposed to back then). This includes excesses by both the current administration and the last(and those before it), and pretty much all of Congress. There's no free lunch, and Bush's deficit that Obama's gladly multiplying will come due.


where the hell were the tea parties during the last administration? oh, that's right, there weren't any, because the current crop of conservatives don't really care how much is being spent, so long as it's not being spent by librulz.

abbazappa

abbazappa

Sacramento, CA
June 2006

APR 21, 2009 11:52 AM

Actually motorfirebox us Conservatives have been worried about the spending of Bush and many of us did write to our representatives in opposition to the Bush Bail outs and TARP funds. However, like Al Gore says it takes a big event to get peoples attention, so isn't it good that people are finally waking up to the financial crises that has been growing for years?

Also, Toku666 I don't see it as a bad thing that there were different views and messages being expressed. It was rather the media that distorted the messages so bad that it was hard to see what it was about.

pagnaet

pagnaet

Amarillo, TX
March 2005

APR 21, 2009 11:52 AM

The Republicans are all bent out of shape over taxes that most of them dont even have to pay, but they are A.O.K. with Bush (and Obama, as well) eviscerating the Constitution.

Katieesq

Katieesq

USA
June 2008

APR 21, 2009 12:01 PM

abbazappa said:
Actually motorfirebox us Conservatives have been worried about the spending of Bush and many of us did write to our representatives in opposition to the Bush Bail outs and TARP funds. However, like Al Gore says it takes a big event to get peoples attention, so isn't it good that people are finally waking up to the financial crises that has been growing for years?




Worrying about misspending in 2008, the height of the election season, is hardly a sincere Conservative protest or dismay of 8 years of misspending. That being said, I wish the teabagging protestor's messages were more focused on oversight of federal funding then eliminating funding altogether. Oversight is the representation of the people that is in danger with such large sums of money at stake, and that shouldn't be a partisan issue.

Jace

Jace

San Francisco, CA
February 2004

APR 21, 2009 12:03 PM

What? Tea parties?

Sorry. I vaguely remember something about that from last week, but it was so convoluted and pointless and it vanished so quickly from the public consciousness that I'm struggling to recall why it was important.

Homme

Homme

Los Angeles, CA
January 2009

APR 21, 2009 12:03 PM

motorfirebox said:

thekiller said:
The Original Tea Party wasn't really about the .03 tax on tea, as paying the tax was cheaper than buying the black market tea at the time. Likewise, this Tea Party wasn't so much about tax rates as what we feel as a lack of representation by our Government (even though ours is elected as opposed to back then). This includes excesses by both the current administration and the last(and those before it), and pretty much all of Congress. There's no free lunch, and Bush's deficit that Obama's gladly multiplying will come due.


where the hell were the tea parties during the last administration? oh, that's right, there weren't any, because the current crop of conservatives don't really care how much is being spent, so long as it's not being spent by librulz.



Well, to my recollection, there were tea party protests during the Bush Administration, but were held by Libertarians angry over the Fed and very few Paultards would show up. It's just, this year, that the Paultards' protest was co-opted by Republicans angry over their white-conservative hegemony dying.

abbazappa

abbazappa

Sacramento, CA
June 2006

APR 21, 2009 12:06 PM

I was using the events of 2008 since that is when most people awoke from their thick haze of pop culture to come to realize that the current and past management of funding was flawed and out of control. Many of us have been concerned before then as well. The part of the Tea Party's I agree with were those ones trying to get support for HR 1207 which would require the first full audit of the Federal Reserve.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

APR 21, 2009 01:13 PM

Katieesq said:
Geoffrey Chaucer you are not.



Thanks. Because what I was going for with my hastily written blurb on a titty site was to write something comparable to one of the greats of literature.

You are the epitome of ridiculous.

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