I have to admit, the greatest thing since Obama took over the presidency is watching Glenn Beck’s quick descent into insanity. It really is epic theater and could easily have been a movie, or a television show. He is completely out of touch with reality – and it’s fucking awesome. It’s as if the crazy conspiracy guy at the coffee shop got his own show. It may actually end with him pulling a Smith & Wesson out and blowing his brains out on live television. And I am not in any way kidding. That’s how crazy and awesome Glenn Beck has become.

Becks’ ratings have been skyrocketing, much like Mister Rodgers would have if he had begun smearing his trains with feces and ranting about how Mr. Greenjeans was going to put us in camps. A couple of weeks ago, the kids at Morning Joe on MSNBC decided to take a closer look at Glenn and they found a man on the edge of sanity, weeping openly on television.



Jesus, why don’t you lube up America, enter it anally and make sweet ass love to it? Just to be clear, that is not a man doing a show, or a character, that is a guy on the edge of a mental breakdown. Unfortunately, I have no sympathy for this impaired lunatic because he is a right wing fucknut. The crazy thing about the right wing is they already have no grip on reality, whether it be science, economics or foreign affairs, they have nothing to base their horseshit on. But The Beck has brought it to a whole new level.



What could possibly be seen as odd about that picture? It's just a guy sitting next to a close up of his eyes. How incredibly not odd.

The man has taken fear and consumed it. Fear is Glenn Beck’s bitch. And the man we are to fear, this Obama character, is so shockingly less destructive to our civil rights than his predecessor it is astounding. George Bush woke up every morning and tried to figure out a way to make us less safe, while he shit on the flag. Obama has pulled back on so many (certainly not all) of the crazy, rights destroying policies of Bush it is insane. But we are supposed to believe Obama, the guy who did not invade a country for no reason, is the next coming of Hitler. Holy fucking shit.

Glenn is quite concerned about our guns. He believes Obama is going to take our guns away. Now, I’d like to point out that if you believe Obama is going to take your guns away, you should have your guns taken away, because you have the intellectual capacity of a rodent. You are shockingly stupid and beyond pathetic. There is zero evidence this will occur in the future and Obama has emphatically stated he has no intention of doing so. So, stop it, you morons.

Glenn is also horrified by the prospect of socialized medicine. It would obviously ruin our country. It would be like opening up a bunch of USSR sponsored Chuck E. Cheeses. Please pay no attention to the fact that Obama has never proposed socialized medicine, never campaigned for socialized medicine and has even said a single-payer health system will not work. Yes, there are no plans for socialized medicine, only universal healthcare, which is pretty much the opposite of socialized medicine. It means the private sector is, you know, providing health insurance and care and stuff. Nonetheless, because Obama wants to provide fake socialized medicine, he is a Nazi. Because if there is one thing the Nazis were about, it was a national single-payer healthcare system. That’s actually what Nazi stands for: National All Single (cough, cough, what?)



That is fucking insane. He is the lunatic who should be wandering the streets and screaming at trees. He’s pretty much got the same take on every subject. Last week Glenn commented on a New York Times article that stated Obama was going to take on immigration reform. Obviously, everyone, right and left, agrees we need some sort of change when it comes to immigration. Glenn had an awesome take on the news that Obama was planning on dealing with immigration.

True dat. Was he done there? No, next he pretended to pour gas on someone.



Look, there is not much difference between a new immigration policy and shooting Glenn Beck in the head. I actually think it should be the first step taken by the administration. It is amazing that this man is allowed to spew such nonsense on national television. You can do anything you want, as long as it gets ratings, even if it is a man’s mental breakdown.

Ratings are ratings. You actually don’t need a huge number of people to watch your show in cable to be a star and there certainly are a large number of insane right wing lunatics who believe what the Glenn is telling them. They are being stoked and enflamed by his complete and total nonsense. For liberals and Democrats, this couldn’t be a better thing. It’s another big face for the Republicans to wear for the American public. He’s worse than Rush Limbaugh and that is quite an achievement. At least when Clinton was in office, they went after him for stuff that could actually be real. The Whitewater mess, Travel gate, getting blowjobs from interns is all spectacular criticism compared to what lunatics like Glenn Beck are doing now.

And feel free to enjoy some Glenn Beck poetry,, which he recites everyday on his show.

WRONG WITH US

Put these people in jail, put these people in jail,
Put them in jail, what is wrong with us;
We knew this guy was in the country,
He was -- he has been in the country
And extradited before; we have thrown him
Out of the country, then we brought him back, and
Then we threw him out and he came back again;
What the hell is wrong with us, what is wrong with us.

("Glenn Beck," Fox News, March 11, 2009)

Just sit back and enjoy the madness of Glenn Beck, it couldn’t be better advertising for the left.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper