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  • TUESDAY FEBRUARY 24 2009 6:00 AM

I Don't Know What's Happening

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by nicole_powers

Tags: Tax Cuts, Republicans

America is clearly overburdened with morons. They are a loud, uneducated group of people who live by one slogan: Taxes Are Bad. No matter the situation, taxes are bad, because government is bad. They’ve now gone as far as to start two glorious wars and combined them with some juicy tax cuts, because, if you are going to spend over a trillion dollars, by all means don’t pay for it. They’ve ruined our country with fiscal irresponsibility and they’d like to fix that – with tax cuts. They created a mythological character named Reagan and now they would very much like to follow him to the bottom of the sea. The only problem is, they are going to take the rest of us with them.

The tax-cut-only-Republicans are no different than crazy religious parents who don’t take their kids to the hospital because they believe in prayer. Much like those kids, our country is dying. Taxes are how we pay for this crazy thing called society. With an endless stream of tax cuts, we end up with what we have now: Schools in shocking disrepair, fewer teachers, bridges, roads and highways falling apart, horrible traffic congestion, sicker people, more crime, oh, and enormous debt, which handicaps the government’s ability to deal with recessions and depressions.

But, the government can’t do anything right, so we have to cut taxes. All one has to do is look at the amazing success of Wall Street over the past year to see how brilliant of a statement this is. Or the shocking disaster of privatizing the Iraq War, where private companies turn so many things into colossal piles of shit, at a far higher cost than if the government had done the work. Yes, private companies are the way to success and government is the way to failure. Lewis Black said it best.



Yeah. It’s people. Turns out mistakes can and will be made, whether it is government or private companies. Who would have thought? I’m actually super pleased with our socialized fire departments. Back in the day, they were private companies, but now they are paid for by the government. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. Our crazy, hippy highway system was fucking sweet when the government made it. After years of starving it to death, it has lost a bit of its luster, but still, not bad. Taxes promote general welfare, which is, you know, kind of a good thing.

But the government fucks everything up!



What are you five? Yes, everybody fucks up sometimes. The fact that you can't see the good the government has done is absolutely pathetic. If your kid makes a mistake, why don’t you take him out in the backyard and kill him with a shovel? I mean, he made a mistake, after all. By all means, don’t attempt to fix the situation. Don’t show him a different way. The idea that the government always screws up is such juvenile and pathetic thinking it is astounding, as is the idea it is not repairable. Completely fucking astounding. You have the analytic ability of a hamster.

More than anything, it’s the rigidity of the position. Saying tax cuts is always the way to go is nothing short of cult like. Always saying government needs to be smaller is childish. Government needs to be more efficient, which has nothing to do with size. Everything needs to be more efficient. We should always be looking for ways to streamline. Unfortunately, we usually don’t notice something is wrong until there is a problem – you know, because we are human beings. We certainly didn’t notice our awesome, kick ass, private mortgage industry was giving home loans to hobos until it was too late. (And if you blame the housing meltdown solely on Freddie and Fanny, you are unread and, really, very stupid).

The Reagan trickle down tax cut policy is now believed to be a sound economic policy by too many people. It is a sham, a fool’s game, a myth and extremely irresponsible. The wasteland that is California is the future of America. And yet, the idea of tax cuts being a healing elixir is believed by so many that Democrats now tout their tax cut prowess. That’s why we’re doomed. People have bought into the idea of “small government," but when asked about individual programs provided by the government, they love them. It’s a broad and stupid argument that has won and will lead to our doom. There is no one-way to do things, there are many. Once you come to believe there is only one way, like the Republican hoard, you are pretty much doomed. I find it baffling that so many hold such ignorant beliefs with such religious veracity. I look around and I just don’t know what’s happening, only that it spells ruin.

Oh, and Reagan raised taxes three times, you clown fuckers.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper


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TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

FEB 24, 2009 12:59 PM

lawber499043 said:
ha ha, I love liberals, they are the smartest most educated people on the planet. Thank you for all you do.



He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Horrorflick

Horrorflick

Detroit, MI
February 2003

FEB 24, 2009 01:17 PM

lawber499043 said:
ha ha, I love liberals, they are the smartest most educated people on the planet. Thank you for all you do.


I'd say "you're welcome" but you're not, and I'm not liberal, not in the least. I don't make my mind up before I've researched an issue. I don't base my thoughts and words on the dogmatic thinking and speech of others and their ideas for me. In short, I'm not an idiot.

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

FEB 24, 2009 01:32 PM

Really, I think the secret is that with teeny, tiny government, all of your taxes will get funneled into very few people's pockets, thus allowing those greedy motherfuckers to make all of the decisions and write their own checks. More money, more power, more elite.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

FEB 24, 2009 01:37 PM

This thread has turned into pure gold!!

*gets popcorn*

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

FEB 24, 2009 01:47 PM

Horrorflick said:
Oh, and the same people who don't think that going to war against the rich in a violent uprising is necessary at this point are either A: Just scared. (I know, violence and guns are scary things, I don't blame you.) or B: Too busy trying to be rich themselves. Shame on you, you are worse than they are. They (most of the rich) are idiots who inherited their money, they were born into it and will die with most of it. (Not if I have my way, that is.) Prosperity and success are not just necessarily capital wealth, it involves a lot of things like satisfaction, peace, happiness, being ok with the world around you and other people, etc. Bottom-liners just don't get this. If you're busy fucking people over, alienating your friends, family and whoever you can actually get to trust you for more than five minutes in order to get enough money to move into Grosse Pointe, you're missing the point entirely: You will never be rich like they are through work. None of those people have ever known what it is like to make car payments, house payments, etc. While you're busy leading up to your first heart attack, ask yourself this question: How much is enough? How much do you really fucking need to be at peace?



Umm . . . nobody replied to you. Who are you directing this rant towards?

wottan

wottan

Vancouver, BC
July 2004

FEB 24, 2009 01:51 PM

"I Don't Know What's Happening" should be the slogan for all news networks.

mydogfarted

mydogfarted

Oakland, NJ
June 2003

FEB 24, 2009 02:05 PM

Horrorflick said:
Oh, and the same people who don't think that going to war against the rich in a violent uprising is necessary at this point are either A: Just scared. (I know, violence and guns are scary things, I don't blame you.) or B: Too busy trying to be rich themselves.



You forgot:
C: Fans of professional sports. If we rise up and kill the rich people, who is going to play 3rd base for the Yankees this year?
</SARCASM>

Homme

Homme

Los Angeles, CA
January 2009

FEB 24, 2009 02:14 PM

Horrorflick said:
The problem right now is that the legendary 1% we're always talking about are holding all of the chips in the game. Nobody else can play, and the rich people still won't budge. The whole idea in the first place was to grab as much wealth from everybody else and live in little gated fortress communities where no poor (or brown) people would be. (Unless of course they were cleaning your pool, cutting your grass or shopping for you.) I know slavery sounds like a really neato idea to rich people, but we've already been through that shit once in this country. People won't do any work just because some kind of fucked up social order says that they're supposed to. They have to receive compensation for that work, and that's where the rich people fucked up. Now, there's no money for anybody (unless it's in a Swiss bank being guarded by lots of fuckers with machine guns), and the rich people have to pony up and start spreading it around. That, of course, is not going to happen. (The only thing that rich people have really shown any aptitude for, aside from getting pilot's licenses, ignoring their children and being assholes, is holding on to their money with a white-knuckled, bony death-grip.) America's on it's way to another civil war, and it's going to be poor people against rich people, plain and simple. They may live in tiny fortresses with iron gates and ADT security systems, but their 1% had better remember what just about every war in history has taught us: Numbers always win. Fucking period. If the rich 1% still want to hold onto what's "theirs", that is simply not going to happen if the other 99% just up and decide to take it by force. (That is, of course, not going to be pretty, but so be it.) Let's lynch a few rich folk and see what happens!

penitenziagite!



Here's my response: Paragraphs are not your enemy.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

FEB 24, 2009 02:35 PM

Homme said:

Horrorflick said:
The problem right now is that the legendary 1% we're always talking about are holding all of the chips in the game. Nobody else can play, and the rich people still won't budge. The whole idea in the first place was to grab as much wealth from everybody else and live in little gated fortress communities where no poor (or brown) people would be. (Unless of course they were cleaning your pool, cutting your grass or shopping for you.) I know slavery sounds like a really neato idea to rich people, but we've already been through that shit once in this country. People won't do any work just because some kind of fucked up social order says that they're supposed to. They have to receive compensation for that work, and that's where the rich people fucked up. Now, there's no money for anybody (unless it's in a Swiss bank being guarded by lots of fuckers with machine guns), and the rich people have to pony up and start spreading it around. That, of course, is not going to happen. (The only thing that rich people have really shown any aptitude for, aside from getting pilot's licenses, ignoring their children and being assholes, is holding on to their money with a white-knuckled, bony death-grip.) America's on it's way to another civil war, and it's going to be poor people against rich people, plain and simple. They may live in tiny fortresses with iron gates and ADT security systems, but their 1% had better remember what just about every war in history has taught us: Numbers always win. Fucking period. If the rich 1% still want to hold onto what's "theirs", that is simply not going to happen if the other 99% just up and decide to take it by force. (That is, of course, not going to be pretty, but so be it.) Let's lynch a few rich folk and see what happens!

penitenziagite!



Here's my response: Paragraphs are not your enemy.



but what if they're wealthy paragraphs?

JuiceBox

JuiceBox

USA
August 2004

FEB 24, 2009 02:36 PM

Y'know, there is hope... in November, Mass voted against a proposition that would have abolished state taxes. Sure, enough people were dumb enough to get it on the ballot, but if I recall correctly, it was summarily crushed in the actual polls. I like to think this suggests that most people are actually of "average intelligence" (or what that should mean, anyway).

I also believe that the 1% do spend a great deal of their money on charitable causes, but it's the next 4% who are hording, because they want to be on top, and so have to scrimp and save to get there (ha!).

Finally, Horrorflick's suggestion of violent uprising is stupid. I don't mean that in a school yard taunt kind of way. It is actually the product of inferior mental reasoning. You are talking about riots. Riots in the US have historically been in low-income neighborhoods, accomplishing exactly the opposite effect that was intended. Over and over, it's the same thing. You want to organize the people who are least capable of organizing. And hey, I'm in that group. If I had those kind of skills, I'd be a CEO.

There is only one lasting solution, and it is long term: it has to be socially unacceptable to horde money. For thousands of years, people horded money, and others looked up to them. For more than two hundred years, America provided the opportunity for people to change their class, and the goal has been to be as rich as possible and horde money. *If there was a successful, violent class war, things would be equal for about thirty minutes before someone began hording money again. It happened to the socialists, it will happen over and over and over again. Anyone who doesn't understand history should not be allowed to talk about it.

BrisusCheez

BrisusCheez

HOPEFUL

Wexford, PA

FEB 24, 2009 03:34 PM

I agree with you and Lewis Black, my mom worked for the government for 40 years and did a hell of a job too. AND she worked for the IRS. Which, I can tell you from listening to her stories is incredibly difficult because of the people you have to work with and under and is very thankless (especially with this negative attitude towards taxes).

I don't mind taxes - as long as social programs can be supported through my money, I'm all for that. I may need those social programs one day!

Horrorflick

Horrorflick

Detroit, MI
February 2003

FEB 24, 2009 03:35 PM

JuiceBox said:
Y'know, there is hope... in November, Mass voted against a proposition that would have abolished state taxes. Sure, enough people were dumb enough to get it on the ballot, but if I recall correctly, it was summarily crushed in the actual polls. I like to think this suggests that most people are actually of "average intelligence" (or what that should mean, anyway).

I also believe that the 1% do spend a great deal of their money on charitable causes, but it's the next 4% who are hording, because they want to be on top, and so have to scrimp and save to get there (ha!).

Finally, Horrorflick's suggestion of violent uprising is stupid. I don't mean that in a school yard taunt kind of way. It is actually the product of inferior mental reasoning. You are talking about riots. Riots in the US have historically been in low-income neighborhoods, accomplishing exactly the opposite effect that was intended. Over and over, it's the same thing. You want to organize the people who are least capable of organizing. And hey, I'm in that group. If I had those kind of skills, I'd be a CEO.

There is only one lasting solution, and it is long term: it has to be socially unacceptable to horde money. For thousands of years, people horded money, and others looked up to them. For more than two hundred years, America provided the opportunity for people to change their class, and the goal has been to be as rich as possible and horde money. *If there was a successful, violent class war, things would be equal for about thirty minutes before someone began hording money again. It happened to the socialists, it will happen over and over and over again. Anyone who doesn't understand history should not be allowed to talk about it.



First: Charity only means one thing to most rich people: A great big tax write off! It's one of the ways that "them types" assuage their guilt and try to convince themselves they're "doing something". Second: Point taken on your "it'll be equal for about thirty minutes before someone began hoarding money again" thing. Most people are fucking hopeless and really do deserve to die. Third: How exactly do you make it "socially unacceptable" to hoard money? I think it's socially unacceptable to go around kicking toddlers and old people in the stomach. What actually keeps people from doing it is the law(s) that send you to jail for doing that sort of thing. (That, and the fact that (most of the time...) there really aren't a whole lot of good reasons to kick children and old people in the stomach.) Oh, wait. Our laws are written by rich people! (And the ones I mentioned before who have actually deluded themselves into thinking they'll be rich someday too.) Oh well, so much for the law...

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

FEB 24, 2009 03:48 PM

ah, to be twelve again.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

FEB 24, 2009 04:06 PM

wildswan said:



Taxes promote general welfare, which is, you know, kind of a good thing.



It's in the Preamble to the Constitution. . .


We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.




. . . which was written by, politicians (people in the gov'ment -- the founding people of the gov'ment, no less), and therefor, bad by nature. That "provide for the common defense" part is a good principle because it can be used to spend trillions of dollars fighting an illegal war or clandestine wars that private industry can make money hand over fist off of.



The Reagan trickle down tax cut policy is now believed to be a sound economic policy by too many people. It is a sham, a fool’s game, a myth and extremely irresponsible.




This is the big, unethical lie in socio-economic philosophy. It presupposes that there should be an economic elite. That the economic elite (the executive class) are the true and only engines of society,
and they should be the determiners of the rest of society's value, and that whatever shakes out of their pockets, whenever a benevolent mood strikes them, should be good enough for the health of the country. And, of course, the way to determine the health of the country, is to take their temperature.

And poor or working people who believe that, believe that because [i[]they aspire to be the plantation boss some day.


Another bone to pick: Please, whoever you crazy people are, stop thinking that profit motive is a magic elixir or the best indicator for the success of an entity. It just isn't.

How much proof (historical, and topical) do you need?



Quoted for truth.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

FEB 24, 2009 04:09 PM

Horrorflick said:

Second: Point taken on your "it'll be equal for about thirty minutes before someone began hoarding money again" thing. Most people are fucking hopeless and really do deserve to die.



Do you volunteer to go first before the firing squad?

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