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  • TUESDAY FEBRUARY 24 2009 6:00 AM

I Don't Know What's Happening

America is clearly overburdened with morons. They are a loud, uneducated group of people who live by one slogan: Taxes Are Bad. No matter the situation, taxes are bad, because government is bad. They’ve now gone as far as to start two glorious wars and combined them with some juicy tax cuts, because, if you are going to spend over a trillion dollars, by all means don’t pay for it. They’ve ruined our country with fiscal irresponsibility and they’d like to fix that – with tax cuts. They created a mythological character named Reagan and now they would very much like to follow him to the bottom of the sea. The only problem is, they are going to take the rest of us with them.

The tax-cut-only-Republicans are no different than crazy religious parents who don’t take their kids to the hospital because they believe in prayer. Much like those kids, our country is dying. Taxes are how we pay for this crazy thing called society. With an endless stream of tax cuts, we end up with what we have now: Schools in shocking disrepair, fewer teachers, bridges, roads and highways falling apart, horrible traffic congestion, sicker people, more crime, oh, and enormous debt, which handicaps the government’s ability to deal with recessions and depressions.

But, the government can’t do anything right, so we have to cut taxes. All one has to do is look at the amazing success of Wall Street over the past year to see how brilliant of a statement this is. Or the shocking disaster of privatizing the Iraq War, where private companies turn so many things into colossal piles of shit, at a far higher cost than if the government had done the work. Yes, private companies are the way to success and government is the way to failure. Lewis Black said it best.



Yeah. It’s people. Turns out mistakes can and will be made, whether it is government or private companies. Who would have thought? I’m actually super pleased with our socialized fire departments. Back in the day, they were private companies, but now they are paid for by the government. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. Our crazy, hippy highway system was fucking sweet when the government made it. After years of starving it to death, it has lost a bit of its luster, but still, not bad. Taxes promote general welfare, which is, you know, kind of a good thing.

But the government fucks everything up!



What are you five? Yes, everybody fucks up sometimes. The fact that you can't see the good the government has done is absolutely pathetic. If your kid makes a mistake, why don’t you take him out in the backyard and kill him with a shovel? I mean, he made a mistake, after all. By all means, don’t attempt to fix the situation. Don’t show him a different way. The idea that the government always screws up is such juvenile and pathetic thinking it is astounding, as is the idea it is not repairable. Completely fucking astounding. You have the analytic ability of a hamster.

More than anything, it’s the rigidity of the position. Saying tax cuts is always the way to go is nothing short of cult like. Always saying government needs to be smaller is childish. Government needs to be more efficient, which has nothing to do with size. Everything needs to be more efficient. We should always be looking for ways to streamline. Unfortunately, we usually don’t notice something is wrong until there is a problem – you know, because we are human beings. We certainly didn’t notice our awesome, kick ass, private mortgage industry was giving home loans to hobos until it was too late. (And if you blame the housing meltdown solely on Freddie and Fanny, you are unread and, really, very stupid).

The Reagan trickle down tax cut policy is now believed to be a sound economic policy by too many people. It is a sham, a fool’s game, a myth and extremely irresponsible. The wasteland that is California is the future of America. And yet, the idea of tax cuts being a healing elixir is believed by so many that Democrats now tout their tax cut prowess. That’s why we’re doomed. People have bought into the idea of “small government," but when asked about individual programs provided by the government, they love them. It’s a broad and stupid argument that has won and will lead to our doom. There is no one-way to do things, there are many. Once you come to believe there is only one way, like the Republican hoard, you are pretty much doomed. I find it baffling that so many hold such ignorant beliefs with such religious veracity. I look around and I just don’t know what’s happening, only that it spells ruin.

Oh, and Reagan raised taxes three times, you clown fuckers.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper


 

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Solaris

Solaris

SUICIDEGIRL

British Columbia, Canada

FEB 24, 2009 07:16 AM

Well said. Unfortunately Canada is heading this way as well.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

FEB 24, 2009 07:19 AM

Agreed.

Conservatives often like to quote Reagan as saying this:

Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.


Of course, the problem with that (beyond the fact that it's monumentally stupid dogma), is that he didn't actually say that. He said this:

In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.


The crisis he was talking about was the economic crisis involving insane inflation. Whatever the merits of Reagan's position were then, it's absolutely not the same situation today.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

FEB 24, 2009 08:16 AM




Taxes promote general welfare, which is, you know, kind of a good thing.



It's in the Preamble to the Constitution. . .


We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.




. . . which was written by, politicians (people in the gov'ment -- the founding people of the gov'ment, no less), and therefor, bad by nature. That "provide for the common defense" part is a good principle because it can be used to spend trillions of dollars fighting an illegal war or clandestine wars that private industry can make money hand over fist off of.



The Reagan trickle down tax cut policy is now believed to be a sound economic policy by too many people. It is a sham, a fool’s game, a myth and extremely irresponsible.




This is the big, unethical lie in socio-economic philosophy. It presupposes that there should be an economic elite. That the economic elite (the executive class) are the true and only engines of society,
and they should be the determiners of the rest of society's value, and that whatever shakes out of their pockets, whenever a benevolent mood strikes them, should be good enough for the health of the country. And, of course, the way to determine the health of the country, is to take their temperature.

And poor or working people who believe that, believe that because [i[]they aspire to be the plantation boss some day.


Another bone to pick: Please, whoever you crazy people are, stop thinking that profit motive is a magic elixir or the best indicator for the success of an entity. It just isn't.

How much proof (historical, and topical) do you need?

Horrorflick

Horrorflick

Detroit, MI
February 2003

FEB 24, 2009 09:32 AM

The problem right now is that the legendary 1% we're always talking about are holding all of the chips in the game. Nobody else can play, and the rich people still won't budge. The whole idea in the first place was to grab as much wealth from everybody else and live in little gated fortress communities where no poor (or brown) people would be. (Unless of course they were cleaning your pool, cutting your grass or shopping for you.) I know slavery sounds like a really neato idea to rich people, but we've already been through that shit once in this country. People won't do any work just because some kind of fucked up social order says that they're supposed to. They have to receive compensation for that work, and that's where the rich people fucked up. Now, there's no money for anybody (unless it's in a Swiss bank being guarded by lots of fuckers with machine guns), and the rich people have to pony up and start spreading it around. That, of course, is not going to happen. (The only thing that rich people have really shown any aptitude for, aside from getting pilot's licenses, ignoring their children and being assholes, is holding on to their money with a white-knuckled, bony death-grip.) America's on it's way to another civil war, and it's going to be poor people against rich people, plain and simple. They may live in tiny fortresses with iron gates and ADT security systems, but their 1% had better remember what just about every war in history has taught us: Numbers always win. Fucking period. If the rich 1% still want to hold onto what's "theirs", that is simply not going to happen if the other 99% just up and decide to take it by force. (That is, of course, not going to be pretty, but so be it.) Let's lynch a few rich folk and see what happens!

penitenziagite!

ttrombatore

ttrombatore

Fletcher, NC
February 2009

FEB 24, 2009 09:46 AM

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Weatherpunk

Weatherpunk

Japan
June 2008

FEB 24, 2009 10:27 AM

It is extremely frustrating to be a young person in these times & know that what happens in these next few years is basically going to define much of how I live in the coming decade and beyond.

That is why I work full-time, save 5% of my income in my bank (which terrifies me these days, but I'm overseas & it is crazy-difficult to switch banks abroad) and I am learning to be thrifty while not shutting off spending completely.

I'm looking to my government for leadership, and while I see more from this President than the last one, he's still only 1 man in a city full of government workers. I hope the rest of the US government pulls their heads out of their asses, but I'm a cautious optimist at best. frown

Homme

Homme

Los Angeles, CA
January 2009

FEB 24, 2009 10:38 AM

We can't have a efficient government because we anti-government conservatives working for the fucking government!

I was in the Air Force during the last two years of the Clinton Administration and most of the Bush Administration and you payed any attention to conservative rhetoric like the Rumsfeld Doctrine and the effects it had down the hierarchal line, it was plain as day that these fucking morons purposely crippled the government's ability to do things.

My former colleagues would wonder why stupid shit like "Force Shaping" (Google it) would come down from Air Force leadership, and I kept saying in response, "It's not necessarily them. Read the newspaper! It's the fucking ideologues running the Federal Government!"

Tallboy66

Tallboy66

Chicago, IL
January 2005

FEB 24, 2009 11:20 AM

Ever see those guys on the street playing the shell game on top of a card board box?
It's like that, along with some finger pointing.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

FEB 24, 2009 11:20 AM

I just love that the Republidiots keep yelling about how we need tax cuts, but when tax cuts are given to the people with the least amount of money, they complain. You asked for tax cuts, idiots. We're giving tax cuts. In fact, more people are getting tax cuts than anytime I can think of (97% is the estimate). Isn't that what you wanted, Republicans? Isn't it?

pyromethious

pyromethious

Silver Springs, FL
October 2006

FEB 24, 2009 11:31 AM

At what point are we going to step in and tell the self-stimulating asshats in wallstreet to stop screwing with the cost of our goods and the stability of our companies? I realize this is talking about Reaganomics, but I mean, we spent how long at nearly $5/gal because of speculation. At first it was hard to accept until Opec dropped production at the same time that the actual wallstreet value plunged to the now 1/3d of what it was when it hi it's peak!

I whole heartedly agree, and always bitch about :-p, the state of our infrastructure, education, and health systems. There's a LARGE chunk of people without work. Ignoring that part of the population that would rather eat glass than work, there would be plenty of jobs created if they worked on doing a 'baseline' overhaul of the system, nothing elaborate JUST the basics, then let the states find a way to work on things like where to put that speed limit sign.

This country's general education system is beyond in the crapper both physically and the, ever so popular, test score view. I still say that method of evaluation needs an overhaul in itself, but at a minimum we need to get more/good teachers back into the system. All I hear is there will be X-number of school closings cause they have too few kids and Y-number of job cuts. Consolidate the bloody schools into a whole new system if need be, but don't mess with the basic lives of people because you hired a corrupt treasurer or don't want to lose your bonus this year. As for the teachers, in college they offer you ALOT more free govt money if you say that you wanna teach! But after you finish, you get all these teachers going to a school system saying we aren't hiring? Sounds more like the budget cuts need to start at the top not the bottom.

Healthcare...Once the other things are done, there has to be something done about the rising costs of things like healthcare. I personally think that much of this is the result of the increasing number of sue-happy assclowns we have in this country. I mean, why the hell should I work when I can get paid by the doctor for the rest of my life if I tell some judge that I have perma muscle dmg from his last recomended treatment of medical-issue-Z? IDK, too many core issues to deal with before our society can be properly righted :-(


And to think, I Avoid getting into the political game > . <

ericwine

ericwine

Charlotte Hall, MD
January 2007

FEB 24, 2009 12:04 PM

Subrosa said:
Agreed.

Conservatives often like to quote Reagan as saying this:

Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.


Of course, the problem with that (beyond the fact that it's monumentally stupid dogma), is that he didn't actually say that. He said this:

In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.


The crisis he was talking about was the economic crisis involving insane inflation. Whatever the merits of Reagan's position were then, it's absolutely not the same situation today.



This is often overlooked, and the fact that Reagan steadfastly supported the New Deal flies in the face of the idea that he thought government was the always the problem.
For all the talk about cutting marginal rates, I suspect the most important part of Reagan's original tax cut was indexing - inflation was pushing people into higher tax brackets at the same time it was cutting the actual value of their take-home pay and Reagan fixed that.

Horrorflick

Horrorflick

Detroit, MI
February 2003

FEB 24, 2009 12:39 PM

Oh, and the same people who don't think that going to war against the rich in a violent uprising is necessary at this point are either A: Just scared. (I know, violence and guns are scary things, I don't blame you.) or B: Too busy trying to be rich themselves. Shame on you, you are worse than they are. They (most of the rich) are idiots who inherited their money, they were born into it and will die with most of it. (Not if I have my way, that is.) Prosperity and success are not just necessarily capital wealth, it involves a lot of things like satisfaction, peace, happiness, being ok with the world around you and other people, etc. Bottom-liners just don't get this. If you're busy fucking people over, alienating your friends, family and whoever you can actually get to trust you for more than five minutes in order to get enough money to move into Grosse Pointe, you're missing the point entirely: You will never be rich like they are through work. None of those people have ever known what it is like to make car payments, house payments, etc. While you're busy leading up to your first heart attack, ask yourself this question: How much is enough? How much do you really fucking need to be at peace?

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

FEB 24, 2009 12:42 PM

Horrorflick said:
Oh, and the same people who don't think that going to war against the rich in a violent uprising is necessary at this point are either A: Just scared. (I know, violence and guns are scary things, I don't blame you.) or B: Too busy trying to be rich themselves. Shame on you, you are worse than they are. They (most of the rich) are idiots who inherited their money, they were born into it and will die with most of it. (Not if I have my way, that is.) Prosperity and success are not just necessarily capital wealth, it involves a lot of things like satisfaction, peace, happiness, being ok with the world around you and other people, etc. Bottom-liners just don't get this. If you're busy fucking people over, alienating your friends, family and whoever you can actually get to trust you for more than five minutes in order to get enough money to move into Grosse Pointe, you're missing the point entirely: You will never be rich like they are through work. None of those people have ever known what it is like to make car payments, house payments, etc. While you're busy leading up to your first heart attack, ask yourself this question: How much is enough? How much do you really fucking need to be at peace?


oh, brother.

lawber499043

lawber499043

Tempe, AZ
February 2009

FEB 24, 2009 12:50 PM

ha ha, I love liberals, they are the smartest most educated people on the planet. Thank you for all you do.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

FEB 24, 2009 12:57 PM

lawber499043 said:
ha ha, I love liberals, they are the smartest most educated people on the planet. Thank you for all you do.


i love trolls, they contribute so much to everything they touch.

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