California: How Not To Do It

California is officially a complete and total disaster. Our system of government is set up to fail. We have, as a populace, made such amazingly shortsighted and childlike decisions, that we now face economic doom. The death of California began in 1978 with Proposition 13 and has continued on the same path of stupidity and greed ever since. Prop 13 set the stage for the Republicans to cut taxes and not pay as you go all across the country. California is what America is going to be, so watch our state’s destruction closely. It’s pretty pathetic.

Prop 13 decreased property taxes 30 percent and created a cap on future rates of increase. I guess the idea was that the state would then stop spending money. FAIL. I remember that year well, because it’s the year I started riding my bike miles to school because the buses stopped. Oh and the junior high school three blocks from my home closed, so I had to ride my bike down a busy street three miles to school, where I enjoyed larger class sizes and mobile home classrooms. Still bitter. Prop 13 then spread like a virus across the US. Within 5 years, almost half the states had passed similar laws handicapping politician’s ability to raise taxes.

Some crazy asshole named Warren Buffet thinks Prop 13 is a bit of a joke.

He pointed out that the tax on his $500,000 home in Omaha increased by $1,920 that year. Meanwhile, the levy on Buffett’s $4-million house in Laguna Beach, which he bought for less than $100,000 in 1971, rose by just $23.

Sweet.

So, why are other states not suffering as horribly as California? Because we let the people vote to spend money on shit we can’t afford. Our wonderful ballot provision system, which allows the population to pass bonds with a simple majority vote, creates a lot of spending without all those horrible taxes to pay for it. So, politicians have to pay for it out of the general fund, which leads to massive deficits. Think a new drug treatment program is needed? Just get some signatures and throw that fucker up on the ballot. Want more spending for community colleges? Get yourself a proposition. How about rebates for peeps who buy cars that don’t run on gasoline? Get a fucking proposition up in this bitch! It’s been going on like this for years and now we find ourselves paying for proposition after proposition. Some believe the total cost of our propositions is 10% of the budget – which just happens to be the amount of debt we are in. Huh. Welcome to the world of idiots, also known as pure democracy.

During good times, we pass 68% of our propositions, while during bad times, we get all smart and shit and only pass 23%. Of course, spending doesn’t stop when we go from the good times to the bad times, so we basically go ape fuck when the money is rolling in and then have to continue paying for it when it’s not.

Currently, our state government is in a stalemate. Republicans refuse to increase taxes because, apparently, they don’t want the state to pay its bills. The governor has ordered state employees to take two unpaid days off a week and the state is issuing IOUs instead of tax returns and other awesome stuff. Most grown ups realize you have to pay for shit. Republicans disagree. They want to cut spending on everything. You know, like those school buses that were cut and the school that was closed when I was a kid. We should apparently cut more buses and close more schools.

Schwarzenegger came into office because we recalled our last governor for lying about the budget, or some nonsense. Then he made it far, far worse. Since 2003, Schwarzenegger and the Legislature have spent $10.2 billion beyond the rate of inflation. The vast majority of that money was spent on programs Californians want. Which means we should pay for them. That’s how the adult world works, Republicans. Actual state government spending grew at a rate below that of inflation and population growth. The real cost came from voter initiatives and court lawsuits the state lost.

If you factor out voter initiatives and court suits, the remaining part of state government grew at or less than inflation and population growth," said John Laird, a Santa Cruz Democrat who served as Assembly Budget Committee chairman from 2004 to 2008.

The biggest financial disaster of a ballot measure was the “3 strikes and you’re out” bullshit we passed in 1994. The amount of money we are now spending to keep non-violent criminals in jail for life is ridiculous. Again, that was a proposition passed by a simple majority vote of California idiots, because some local clown in Fresno knows better than a judge.

It’s not all about state ballot measures however. Our dipshit governor cut vehicle license fees as his first act. Total cost? Six billion dollars a year. Nice work. Seriously, that turned out really well, like The Last Action Hero.

This debt was doable during the okay times, but we are past those now. Now we are looking at a colossal disaster because our shockingly retarded system is even more shockingly retarded. The Legislature requires a two-thirds vote to raise taxes. So, a few Republicans are holding a largely liberal state hostage by not allowing us to raise taxes to pay for the shit we voted for. Maybe if we increased taxes, then people wouldn’t be so fucking excited to pass so many ballot measures. Ever think of that, you jackasses? Any state that allows ballot measures to pass with a majority vote, but won’t let elected officials increase taxes without a two-thirds vote is a complete and total asshole.

Yes, I just called the state of California an asshole. Grow up, you pathetic bitch.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper.


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