It has begun. The shockingly stupid among us have started their chant. You will be hearing it for a long, long time. “Look at the Obama supporters crying.” “The Savior is not a Savior.” "Obamamanics Let Down By The Messiah.”

The underlying point behind all of these idiotic remarks you will be hearing is the same: Every person who voted for Obama thinks he will cure the country instantly and he will be the greatest politician of all time. This is an extremely ironic position to take from the followers of Jesus and Ronald Reagan.

They are, of course, implying people who voted for Obama were guided by blind faith and completely lacking the ability to honestly assess the candidate. Were there people like that? Sure. Do they number more than the evangelical lunatics who blindly voted for George W. Bush in massive numbers? Fuck no. This is pretty standard stuff. People get behind a candidate because of the climate in the country. In this case, people are excited about a president who appears to not be mentally handicapped and drunk. Can’t really blame them for that, can you?

Those of you spouting this “Obama is the Messiah” nonsense are shockingly stupid. I just wanted to point that out. You’re a complete moron. Your black and white thinking is exactly what got us into the disaster our country now finds itself in. It led us to eight years of Bush and now that you are faced with a bit of complexity and shades of gray, you fall back on your pile of idiot. You are an embarrassment to brains.

I voted for Obama. I supported him strongly at times and at other times, not at all. On more than one occasion I was called an “Obama fanboy” or an “Obamabot.” Never mind that at one point I decided to vote for a third party candidate because of Obama’s right wing leanings, I was a thoughtless robot in the Obama brain dead army.

I previously wrote about this incredibly moronic, right wing thought process in an article titled, “The Frankenliberal .” They create a false narrative and then spend hours attacking it, like an old man with Alzheimer’s arguing with himself in a retirement home. It’s a fairly strange phenomenon to observe. I know hundreds of people who voted for Obama and not one adheres to the right wing “Savior” story. They simply see a man who appears to be competent and may actually have the opportunity to right the ship before it sinks. And after the past 8-year shit parade, it excites them.

They are excited for a number of reasons. They are pretty easy to understand and I’m going to try to explain them to your right wing, monkey-like brains.

Bush was an embarrassment, every single day. He brought tremendous amounts of shame each and every time he opened his mouth. He seems to thrive on stubbornness and a lack of knowledge. On several occasions, he was obviously drunk in public. He had the intellectual curiosity of a rodent. He used the phrase “It’s hard work” to describe the office of the president so many times, one had to wonder why he took the job. He was so vindictive, he outed a CIA agent. He made torture, a practice America once hung people for, legal. He spied on Americans without warrants. His inept choices caused the death of hundreds during Hurricane Katrina, while America watched on television. He took us to war using lies and manipulation. He politicized the Justice Department and, therefore, the rule of law. He kidnapped and held foreigners without charges.

(You can probably skip to the bottom of this paragraph now, I think the point has been made).

He backed out of the Kyoto Protocol, making America look like the backwards hick of the world. He attacked nearly every environmental law that exists. He removed emails from the White House system, breaking the law under the White House Records Act. He’s committed war crimes. He allowed massive neglect of our veterans in hospitals. He failed in Afghanistan, the actual place where the terrorists trained. He mishandled North Korea, which lead to the country creating nukes. He created a massive mercenary army and privatized military support services, leading to price gouging, tainted food and water, slavery, corruption and murder. He allowed the energy companies to write U.S. energy policy and Enron was the result. He created the failure known as the Homeland Security Department. He gave tax cuts to the richest Americans during wartime and created massive deficits. He filled judicial appointments with corporate loving judges. He turned Medicare into a time bomb. He failed miserably on healthcare. He destroyed America’s image around the world. His policies led to Hamas taking over the Gaza Strip. He took no action to bring peace to the Israel-Palestine conflict. He refused to fund stem cell research. He encouraged the FDA to allow businesses to self-police. He filled consumer oversight positions with businessmen. He restricted the effectiveness of the EPA. He created a demoralizing and partisan atmosphere at the CIA under Peter Goss. He signed thousands of signing statements to bills. He devastated the National Guard. He overextended and broke the Army. He pushed for and signed the Grassley bankruptcy bill. He allowed Mexican trucks to enter the US without regard for safety or environmental standards. He gave us The Patriot Act. He waged a war on science. He paid for American journalists to write propaganda. He destroyed the labor department. He ignored a report on Bin Laden in August 2001. He declared ground zero non-toxic when it was not. He took health care money meant for ground zero workers back. His mining friendly policies led to the Sago mining disaster. He nominated Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court in just one of many acts of cronyism. He allowed heath care providers to turn away patients based on religious beliefs. He weakened pollution controls and opened forests to logging. He antagonized Russia by making a ballistic missile agreement with Poland. He deregulated the markets and pushed for a “home ownership” society leading to the housing crash. He allowed Enron to gut California. He violated the Hatch Act by using the GSA to promote Republican candidates. He brought Karl Rove into power. He obliterated the Civil Rights Division at the White House and oppressed minority voting. He created the disaster known as No Child Left Behind. He sent Paul Wolfowitz to run the World Bank with predictable and terrible results. He attempted to politicize Public Broadcasting. He used America’s terrorist warning system for political advantage, gave Medals Of Freedom to men who oversaw the epic failure known as the Iraq War. He allowed aggressive proselytizing by Christian evangelical faculty and cadets at the US Air Force Academy, had White House officials re-write scientific reports. He created a totally ineffective and expensive non-continuous fence along the US-Mexican border. He “bungled” oil leases, which will cost American taxpayers up to 9.8 billion dollars. He punished military attorney’s who successfully defended detainees. He created a secret court. He halted the phase out of the environmentally devastating gasoline additive MTBE. He kept failure Donald Rumsfeld in office way past his ripe date. Created enormous tax breaks for idiots to buy Hummers. He failed to properly provide soldiers with armor. He vetoed SCHIP. He put Katrina victims in toxic trailers. He made sure there were no audits of Iraq private contracts. He gutted the Consumer Products Safety Commission. He gave a grant of $43 million on May 17, 2001 to the Taliban government for its efforts to eradicate opium production. He stopped the release summaries of National Intelligence Estimates (NIEs) to the public. He created “Free Speech Zones” for protestors. He destroyed tapes of torture. He oversaw a massive decline in employment. He sent to dollar plummeting to new lows. Sent John Bolton, who hated the UN, to the UN as ambassador. He buried negative reports on Iraq reconstruction, pollution in the Great Lakes and privatizing US intelligence. He turned the SEC from a watchdog organization of Wall Street to a co-criminal. Due to a lack of oversight, Bush lost $10.7 billion in Iraq. His de-regulation of the foreign crude oil markets allowed speculators to drive up oil prices to new heights. His total lack of oversight on the bank bailout did nothing to solve the crisis.

Pretty small list, huh? See, Bush was the most corrupt and worst president in American history, so people like myself are excited to be done with him and to have a president in office who will, at the very least, treat the office with respect. Sure, a lot of people think Obama will be able to accomplish things he won’t, or that he won’t want to, but he will never be as horrible of a president as Bush. And every new president has a few supporters who think that.

Obama may fail, but at least he will work within the law and not shit on the people of the United States every single day. I am already disappointed in a few of Obama’s cabinet choices and his insanely stupid tax cut for big businesses stimulus plan, but he will never come close the ineptitude and blatant disregard for the law as Bush. You can dislike all of Obama’s policies, but he will never be as stupid or corrupt as our current lame duck.

So, each and every time you chuckle to yourself and think, “Man, those Obama fanboys sure are idiots,” remember, it’s all in your head. You have created a false narrative to sooth your wound from being out of power. We are actually adults and understand Obama will disappoint us at times and please us at others.

And remember, if you think others believe Obama is some sort of Savior, you are a very, very stupid human being.



Image

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.