• commentary
  • THURSDAY DECEMBER 18 2008 6:00 AM

Save Trees, Kill The Future

So long newspapers. You guys were great. I really appreciated all you did. Where would I be without you? Huh? I’d be one stupid asshole. And where would the hobos be? Cold, that’s where. Very cold. In the 30s, newspapers were known as “Hoover blankets” because President Hoover made some awesomely lame decisions and newspapers were all people had to keep warm. Unfortunately, it’s looking more and more like people won’t be able to use newspapers and call them Bush blankets for this depression, mostly because newspapers are dying. Revenue this year is down 20%.

This week, the Detroit Free Press and the Detroit News announced they will offer home delivery only on Thursday, Friday and (Free Press only) Sunday. That’s two days a week for the News and three times a week for the Free Press. Last week the New York Times announced it was borrowing…

…up to $225 million against its mid-Manhattan headquarters building, to ease a potential cash flow squeeze as the company grapples with tighter credit and shrinking profits.



The Tribune Company, which owns the L.A. Times and the Chicago Tribune, filed for bankruptcy. The company also owns 10 other newspapers. They are not worth mentioning because they are not in giant, awesome cities. So goes life, small people in small places.

The Washington Post went with an "executive pay freeze."

There's more news coming out of the Washington Post's strategy meeting today: some top executives will not be getting raises due to the tough economic times plaguing the industry.

Executive editor Marcus Brauchli confirmed to Politico that there will be a pay freeze for Vice Presidents at the newspaper Ñ a group which includes two former executive editors.



Newsweek has decided to make their magazine smaller. How great does that sound? Not only is the weekly magazine completely useless in the Internet age, but it’s going to be smaller.

Newsweek magazine is planning staff cuts as part of a major makeover that is likely to result in a slimmer publication with fewer subscribers and more photos and opinion inside its pages, according to people close to the magazine.



Well, it sounds like it’s going to be more idiot friendly, with all the pictures and whatnot. It’s cute to see them give it a go. Magazines are fucking toast. I’ve canceled all my subscriptions, but one. Can’t give up my Harpers yet, but that day will come.

Much of this is occurring quickly because of the recession. Companies aren’t buying ads and newspapers kind of make their money from ads. I heard that from a guy. Maybe this will just make their deaths quicker. There is no reason to buy a newspaper in this day and age, except for those who like their fingers to turn black. By the time a newspaper arrives at my house, I know the news. Weird thing is, I get my news from newspapers online. Uh, oh. There seems to be some sort of catch-22 here.

How in the hell are newspapers going to survive if read them online, instead of buy them? I don’t think I have ever clicked on an L.A. Times ad. Ever. I don’t click any ads online. I have Adblock and I rarely see an ad that interests me. Porn ads are nice. They give me boners. Just a tip, L.A. Times!

TV advertising will clearly have to move towards product placement more and more. Maybe newspapers can toss in a little product placement here and there.

Today in Baghdad, a car bomb exploded, killing 72 and injuring 139. The vehicle was a 2.5-liter, 4 cylinder 2008 Nissan Altima Hybrid 4 door sedan and got an impressive 35-mpg in the city before exploding. Shrapnel from the factory-installed XM/Sirius satellite radio killed one victim. Authorities were surprised someone would blow up such a first class vehicle.



Okay, while I would enjoy that it would be wrong. Pay per post advertising is being done, but it won’t fly in newspapers. They already tried pay-for-online-subscriptions. People didn’t bite. The New York Times attempted to charge for a better-than-the-rest-of-the-newspaper-section. Nobody went for it and they stopped. Now this is not to say there aren’t quite a few different ways to advertise on the web: Pay-per-page view banners, pay-per-click text ads, pay-per-transaction ads, paid inclusion in search results, paid listing in information services and pay-per-connection on social networks. They work; they just bring in less than charging readers to buy a paper and charging advertisers to put ads in that paper. That shit is done.

Oh, and I can’t leave out the classifieds. That was a $326 million business. Now Craigslist is the big dog and the site only made $40 million in 2006. That’s a drop of 88%.

Okay, so here we are. Expect every newspaper to become a one newspaper town. The L.A. Times has been in talks to merge with both the Orange County newspaper and the San Fernando newspaper. Then it will spread. Soon San Diego will join in the fun. And on and on. Fewer and fewer papers being printed on fewer and fewer days. We’re going to end up with a couple of national papers and that’s it. But that’s the physical paper. What about the Internet?

That’s what worries me. Even though our media largely sucks, we need reporters sneaking around and digging into garbage (I’m pretty sure that’s all they do). Less profit means fewer journalists, which means less keeping an eye on our political bitches. I don’t know about you, but I like my political whores to be under the spotlight. And democracy sort of needs the press to be kicking ass. This could get really grim as more reporters disappear and we end up with more and more…blogs? Oh, my. That would be an ugly future. Imagine if you got all your news from me.

Wait, that is fucking awesome.

Forget everything I just wrote.


FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3

Next

Comments
Dr_Zoidberg

Dr_Zoidberg

Raymore, MO
June 2004

DEC 18, 2008 06:51 AM

We only get the Sunday paper for the coupons.

Weatherpunk

Weatherpunk

Japan
June 2008

DEC 18, 2008 07:12 AM

It is sad to see the slow, hulking death of newspapers & even some magazines. I guess my generation will be the last to get their current events and other information from both online & offline sources. These days, I feel a bit anachronistic when I take a paper and a few magazines out to a cafe or park bench and just READ. I read the news in the bathtub, I read it on public transit, online at work or home, and I watch the TV when I can't get it in the other forms.

I am a self-diagnosed news junkie. ^_^ I will be sad to see small-town newspapers dry up and simply be replaced by the impoverished ad-rag from our nearest big city. I plan to go back to school in the Tacoma, Washington area; that means I could be getting all of my print news from either Seattle or Olympia, which skews just a tad further left and/or yuppie than I do.

Just like the auto industry, though, I can't make a definite decision if this is just an accelerated evolution of an industry or if it is just going to be a sad state of affairs for the future. It appears that we've resisted change for so long in a lot of areas of life that now change is being forced upon us & we're having a shared, global freak-out.

Support your local news, people. You don't have to agree with the opinions, but you should appreciate the fact that you're being addressed by local figures rather than someone who couldn't care less about what's going on in your community!

dirtypop

dirtypop

Green Bay, WI
June 2004

DEC 18, 2008 10:16 AM

I'm a newspaper copy editor for one of the big news publishers. I produce a handful of weekly papers (and their Web sites) for communities in Wisconsin. They just shut down one of my papers this week, after 97 years in print. People in town weren't too happy about it. I just hope to keep my job as everything moves online. blackeyed

Shal

Shal

Los Angeles, CA
October 2002

DEC 18, 2008 10:27 AM

Weatherpunk said:


Support your local news, people. You don't have to agree with the opinions, but you should appreciate the fact that you're being addressed by local figures rather than someone who couldn't care less about what's going on in your community!



I do support my local news. I read it online, though.

elysianfielder

elysianfielder

Los Angeles, CA
March 2003

DEC 18, 2008 10:58 AM

The thing is, newspapers have traditionally been an insanely profitable business. Successful, well-established newspapers were used to making a 20%, 25%, even 30% profit margin. Most businesses are happy to get by with a 15% profit. Now, in the post-Craigslist world, newspapers are adjusting to new realities, and they're not dealing with it very well. However, I think that the smart ones will find ways to bounce back, become leaner, and deal with the smaller profit margins. And by the way, Reaper, putting porn ads in there isn't such a bad idea. The LA Weekly and Village Voice do pretty well thanks to all their ads for hookers.

I do hope newspapers don't vanish completely, because they're still where most of the important stories really break. Everyone thinks that online news bloggers are the future of news, but think about it: where do bloggers usually "break a story?" By reading a tiny article on page B-23 of a newspaper, and then spreading it around the web, which eventually pushes it onto television and other newspapers. Do you think bloggers are going to start hiring local news bureaus and attending Department of the Interior press conferences and all that shit? Not likely. Newspapers, while they've been technologically eclipsed, are still the established system whereby people in power are held accountable. They have the experience and resources to do actual reporting and investigative journalism. (When they actually do their jobs, which is another story).

Besides, have you tried reading your laptop on the toilet?

Katieesq

Katieesq

USA
June 2008

DEC 18, 2008 11:10 AM

mydogfarted

mydogfarted

Oakland, NJ
June 2003

DEC 18, 2008 02:24 PM

elysianfielder said:
Besides, have you tried reading your laptop on the toilet?



It was a huge part of the reason for buying my first laptop.

MyLateHope

MyLateHope

Cranston, RI
April 2005

DEC 18, 2008 04:22 PM


That's what worries me. Even though our media largely sucks, we need reporters sneaking around and digging into garbage (I'm pretty sure that's all they do). Less profit means fewer journalists, which means less keeping an eye on our political bitches. I don't know about you, but I like my political whores to be under the spotlight. And democracy sort of needs the press to be kicking ass. This could get really grim as more reporters disappear and we end up with more and more…blogs? Oh, my. That would be an ugly future. Imagine if you got all your news from me.


Agreed. While the traditional newspaper may be dying a now accelerated death, without journalism there simply is no democracy. For all the problems of the mainstream media, by and large they are mostly independent with only an agenda of profit. Its very beneficial to us as citizens that political scandals sell newspapers. If they didn't, journalists wouldn't be able to spend time investigating them. I am very interested to see what form journalism will take in the coming century.

The newspaper where I have worked for the past 18 years just announced that they are selling their 4 downtown parcels of land to raise cash. This is after two sets of layoffs this year. Since I started working there, the newspaper has gone from being grossly overstaffed to woefully understaffed. Some days I feel it is a miracle we are able to produce a paper at all!

thekiller

thekiller

I'm lost
November 2004

DEC 19, 2008 12:40 PM

Newspapers probably would be doing better if they actually reported facts and not opinions. I live in a conservative area and we dropped the paper here because it was nothing more than democratic talking points. Wether you agree with the liberal agenda or not it does us all a disservice to claim to be impartial reporters when your anything but. I think the sad consequence will be having to gather news from sources from both the far right and left and trying to discern what the truth is. Like we all have the free time for that.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

DEC 19, 2008 12:48 PM

thekiller said:
Newspapers probably would be doing better if they actually reported facts and not opinions. I live in a conservative area and we dropped the paper here because it was nothing more than democratic talking points. Wether you agree with the liberal agenda or not it does us all a disservice to claim to be impartial reporters when your anything but. I think the sad consequence will be having to gather news from sources from both the far right and left and trying to discern what the truth is. Like we all have the free time for that.



Got anything to back up your statement, or is this just the common complaint that anyone not leaning in my direction must be leaning against me? Link us to the paper or something.

Toku666

Toku666

Columbus, OH
May 2004

DEC 19, 2008 01:03 PM

thekiller said:
Newspapers probably would be doing better if they actually reported facts and not opinions. I live in a conservative area and we dropped the paper here because it was nothing more than democratic talking points. Wether you agree with the liberal agenda or not it does us all a disservice to claim to be impartial reporters when your anything but. I think the sad consequence will be having to gather news from sources from both the far right and left and trying to discern what the truth is. Like we all have the free time for that.



Newspapers are well within their right to publish opinion. They get to do both, and there's no reason they shouldn't. I'm curious to see examples of how local reportage was "nothing more than democratic talking points." The Sports section must have been awfully confusing to read.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

DEC 19, 2008 01:07 PM

Toku666 said:

thekiller said:
Newspapers probably would be doing better if they actually reported facts and not opinions. I live in a conservative area and we dropped the paper here because it was nothing more than democratic talking points. Wether you agree with the liberal agenda or not it does us all a disservice to claim to be impartial reporters when your anything but. I think the sad consequence will be having to gather news from sources from both the far right and left and trying to discern what the truth is. Like we all have the free time for that.



Newspapers are well within their right to publish opinion. They get to do both, and there's no reason they shouldn't. I'm curious to see examples of how local reportage was "nothing more than democratic talking points." The Sports section must have been awfully confusing to read.



I think it would make the classified ads much more interesting.

"For Sale: 30 foot powerboat, ideal for smuggling illegal immigrants"

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

DEC 19, 2008 03:57 PM

I just hope they can find an internet-based profit model, because this is one of those industries where the advantages of going digital are very clear.

bean

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

DEC 19, 2008 04:20 PM

The future is not-for-profit journalism, supplemented by bloggers.

DJForce

DJForce

Summerville, SC
November 2008

DEC 21, 2008 05:00 AM

Coyotemike said:

thekiller said:
Newspapers probably would be doing better if they actually reported facts and not opinions. I live in a conservative area and we dropped the paper here because it was nothing more than democratic talking points. Wether you agree with the liberal agenda or not it does us all a disservice to claim to be impartial reporters when your anything but. I think the sad consequence will be having to gather news from sources from both the far right and left and trying to discern what the truth is. Like we all have the free time for that.



Got anything to back up your statement, or is this just the common complaint that anyone not leaning in my direction must be leaning against me? Link us to the paper or something.



Right off the cuff
Media Bias Is Real, Finds UCLA Political Scientist

The problem is probably two fold

1) The news media delivers information (or claims to wink ). Information technology is outdating their delivery method

2) More and more journalists are letting their bias pollute the story. When you pick a political side, you alienate part of your audience. Journalists should learn from psychologists and take the judgment out of their statements.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3

Next