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  • TUESDAY NOVEMBER 18 2008 6:00 AM

Bail The Shit Out Of Detroit

It’s time for America to get its bailout on again. Detroit has turned into a giant bag of ass and we need to do something about it. They want 25 billion. I say we give it to them. Why? Because I’m a socialist? Nope. Because we are heading toward a deep, deep recession and the last thing we need is to lose 3 million jobs.

A study just published by the Michigan-based Center for Automotive Research (CAR) predicted that three million people would lose their jobs in the first year after such a Big Three meltdown, swelling the ranks of the unemployed by nearly one-third nationally and leading to hundreds of billions of dollars in lost income.



So, we can pay for it with a bailout, or pay for it in unemployment insurance, welfare and an increase in crime.

Oh, I know. The car companies are complete fuck ups. No argument here. While the right wing continues its rant that this is the fault of unions, I’m going to actually go with the facts. The mistakes of the auto companies were made at the top. They were made by throwing their weight behind cars like the Hummer, while Toyota was going with the Prius. While Detroit was cranking out Explorers and Escalades, Japan was whipping out the Civic Hybrid. Most of us crazy liberals just sat back watching the retarded actions of both government and the auto companies with depressed amusement. Yeah, I wrote “government.” Bush is very responsible for the current state of the auto industry because he gave massive tax breaks to people buying Hummers and refused to up standards. What we are seeing now is the result of a fantastically shortsighted and heinous energy policy. But, then, what has Bush touched that has not turned into a flaming pile of shit?

Our retarded Republican friends would like everyone to think the auto companies are in this position because of unions. Uh huh. Right. The workers are at fault for the collapse of the company. That’s usually how it works. Please ignore the facts.

In its contract last year, the UAW made painful concessions, adopting a two-tier wage structure, such that new employees make just $12 to $15 an hour. The move is projected to bring the American manufacturers in line with their Japanese rivals' non-union labor costs in the near future.

In addition, the union has taken responsibility for providing retiree healthcare, thereby eliminating one of the last remaining competitive disadvantages for the American manufacturers' unionized workforce as compared to their Japanese rivals.



The horrible, horrible union has done its part to save the company, so shut the fuck up, you incredible idiots. The estimated cost of health care for each GM car is $1,500. Considering most other countries have universal health care, our auto industry is starting in a hole, which just happens to coincide with the profit difference.



But, the right wing is against health care, so we can’t do that. And we can’t have unions. And we can’t save the car companies with a bail out. Sorry, we just have to let ‘em fold and put 3 million Americans out of work. Then we will not pass an extension for unemployment and they will have to become criminals to survive. Then we will put them in jail where they belong. Fucking criminal assholes.

Automobile companies are in bad shape because they made bad choices. They went for the short sighted big buck, the one that would make them the most in the moment, you know, like all those financial companies we just bailed out. Except, the car company’s actions were stupid instead of criminal. And now they are getting hammered by…right, the credit problem – which was created by a lack of regulation on Wall Street. Companies like GM survive on credit. They need it to pay the companies that produce the parts they use to make cars. With no credit, the whole thing collapses. And it’s the reason we can’t allow GM to declare bankruptcy.

GM won't be able to file Chapter 11.

But GM can't build cars without parts, and it can't get parts without credit. Chapter 11 companies typically get that sort of credit from something called Debtor-in-Possession (DIP) loans. But the same Wall Street meltdown that has dragged down the economy and GM sales has also dried up the DIP money GM would need to operate.

That's why many analysts and scholars believe GM would likely end up in Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which would entail total liquidation.



Sweet. Total liquidation. That should be awesome for any future wars we have to fight. We don’t need those companies to produce equipment for our forces or anything.

What everyone also seems to be missing are Detroit’s advances. The companies are actually turning the corner, and in some cases possibly moving ahead of Japan.

So far, the results are promising. According to the most recent Harbour Report, the benchmark guide for manufacturing prowess, Chrysler's factories now match Toyota's for the most productive, while both Ford's and GM's are improving. (A Toledo Jeep factory was actually named the nation's most efficient.) Consumer Reports now says Ford's reliability is approaching that of perennial leaders Honda and Toyota, whose ratings actually slipped last year. In late 2010, GM will introduce the Chevrolet Volt, a plug-in hybrid that can go 40 miles without gas, and the Chevrolet Cruze, a compact that relies solely on gas but that gets 45 miles to the gallon. The Volt would represent a rare leap ahead of the Japanese, who never embraced plug-in technology with the same enthusiasm.

No bailout means kissing the Volt and possibly its technology good bye.



"Maybe those engineers get rehired, maybe not," says Case Western's Susan Helper. "But you lose those working relationships; you lose all the time invested. ... [People] don't really have a sense of the things that have to get put in motion, when you have ten-year planning horizons for new engines. When you disrupt that, it's very costly."



Sounds awesome. The Volt has been in development for a decade, so let’s toss it out the window. It’s totally what we need with peak oil staring us in the face and companies like Tesla falling apart because of the credit crunch.

Or, you know, we could go with the “free market” plan. Let’s see how that would play out.

1. GM files for Chapter 7 bankruptcy
2. GM's Chinese partner, SAIC, buys much of GM (Buick, Chevy, Cadillac)
3. GM/SAIC starts importing Chinese-made Buicks and Chevys, undercutting Toyota's cost advantages
4. GM/SAIC owns the Volt technology, requiring US firms to lease it if they wanted to use it.



Sweet. There’s your free market at work. I’m sure the right wing would love our car companies and their technology being owned by the Chinese. Right? Hello?

The bailout needs to happen, but unlike the idiotic one we just gave to Wall Street, it should come with strings. First, fire every asshole working at the top of these companies. Get ‘em out. They are idiots and have been fighting against regulation and EPA standards that would have pushed them in the direction of profitability today. Fuck ‘em. Bring in someone who is innovative and has actually made a lot of money, like a Bill Gates or a Steve Jobs. Make standards and new regulations part of the bailout deal. We have been at a political standstill for years because of the many lawmakers beholden to automakers and their employees. Now it is time to get what should have been done years ago done.

Of course, the right sees this as a way to destroy one of America’s most powerful unions, so they are against it. You’ll see a lot of the assholes who voted for the Wall Street bailout saying this is a bad idea because they want to kill the union. They are okay losing 3 million jobs for ideology. Meanwhile, they can’t handle the idea of universal healthcare and love spending shitloads of money in Iraq. They are amazing idiots. If you support the Iraq War and all it has cost, yet argue against a bailout, please explain to me why I shouldn’t be able to shit down your throat. Because I don’t see any difference between you and a toilet.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

 

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X_Racer_X

X_Racer_X

Philadelphia, PA
July 2008

NOV 18, 2008 12:50 PM

carolinacoonass said:
I hear banjo music.... paddle faster!!!




You sound like a Communist. Seriously Comrade.

silversoul7

silversoul7

Portland, OR
January 2008

NOV 18, 2008 12:52 PM

carolinacoonass said:
Fuck the bailout. Let it go up in flames and see what phoenix (ie China,Korea) arises. Does anybody believe in standing on their own two anymore? This is fucking America god damn it! The Feds cant even manage to buy a fucking toilet seat under budget let alone manage another multi-billion dollar bailout. McCain/Obama - they are all the same-socialists disguised as self reliant Americans. Fuck them all. We should line them all up like Bobby Dylan said (including the union leaders and corporate execs) and shoot their ass for allowing what has happened to happen. Oh yeah I could be arrested for saying that because of the anti-constitutional "Patriot" act. Fuck Congress. They don't represent anyone in my neck of the woods anymore and they'll have to pry my guns from my cold dead hands. It's time they fear us, and fear the working man for the retribution that we will bring if they keep fucking up (ie what Bob Dylan said). Corporate america union and executive needs a kick in the ass!


If you think the economy's bad now, just wait until the Big 3 go under. Do you have any idea how many jobs in this country are connected to the auto industry?

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

NOV 18, 2008 12:53 PM

X_Racer_X said:

You sound like a Communist. Seriously.



Hey hey hey... don't be badmouthing communists like that.

Jace

Jace

San Francisco, CA
February 2004

NOV 18, 2008 01:11 PM

carolinacoonass said:
Fuck the bailout. Let the automotive industry go up in flames and see what phoenix (ie China,Korea) arises. Does anybody believe in standing on their fucking own two anymore? This is fucking America god damn it! The home of the brave. The Feds cant even manage to buy a fucking toilet seat under budget let alone manage another multi-billion dollar bailout. McCain/Obama - they are all the same- tax and spend socialists disguised as self reliant Americans. Fuck them all. We should line them all up like Bobby Dylan said (including the union leaders and corporate execs) and shoot their ass for allowing what has happened to happen. Oh yeah, by the way,I could be arrested for saying that because of the anti-constitutional "Patriot" act. Well Fuck Congress. They don't represent anyone in my neck of the woods anymore and they'll have to pry my guns from my cold dead hands to get me to shut up. It's time they fear us, and fear the working man for the retribution that we will bring if they keep fucking up our pension funds and mothers bank accounts. Congress,corporate america, unions and executives all need a swift kick in the ass to realize how bad they truly have fucked up! I'm ready to do it! I've had enough of this class war bullshit!


Every time I hear a completely nonsensical rant like this I wish I had a time machine that could teleport the person to the alternate universe they're wishing for, in the hope that maybe it would rectify their retarded short-sightedness.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

NOV 18, 2008 01:28 PM

carolinacoonass said:
Fuck the bailout. Let the automotive industry go up in flames and see what phoenix (ie China,Korea) arises. Does anybody believe in standing on their fucking own two anymore? This is fucking America god damn it! The home of the brave. The Feds cant even manage to buy a fucking toilet seat under budget let alone manage another multi-billion dollar bailout. McCain/Obama - they are all the same- tax and spend socialists disguised as self reliant Americans. Fuck them all. We should line them all up like Bobby Dylan said (including the union leaders and corporate execs) and shoot their ass for allowing what has happened to happen. Oh yeah, by the way,I could be arrested for saying that because of the anti-constitutional "Patriot" act. Well Fuck Congress. They don't represent anyone in my neck of the woods anymore and they'll have to pry my guns from my cold dead hands to get me to shut up. It's time they fear us, and fear the working man for the retribution that we will bring if they keep fucking up our pension funds and mothers bank accounts. Congress,corporate america, unions and executives all need a swift kick in the ass to realize how bad they truly have fucked up! I'm ready to do it! I've had enough of this class war bullshit!


if you'd said this in an intelligent manner, i'd agree with you in principle: stupid, wasteful actions should have consequences; that way, people who take stupid, wasteful actions are quickly deposed from any position of power they may have attained, and people who don't take stupid, wasteful actions are able to climb the ladder.

in this case, however, the destruction of these companies would leave much of the country unable to "stand on their own two feet". unless you're a crazy survivalist, it will be somewhat difficult to survive on your own merits when the supermarket can't stock food anymore--not that it will matter, since you won't have a job anyway.

X_Racer_X said:
You sound like a Communist. Seriously Comrade.


what? no he doesn't. he sounds like the polar opposite of a communist.

erratic_prophet

erratic_prophet

San Diego, CA
December 2006

NOV 18, 2008 01:28 PM

Damn it, as much as I hate the idea of bailing out more of these assholes, I don't think there's an alternative. Although the temptation of the "Mad Max" scenario is strong.

phrogg

phrogg

Greenville, SC
August 2005

NOV 18, 2008 01:45 PM

Jace said:

carolinacoonass said:
Fuck the bailout. Let the automotive industry go up in flames and see what phoenix (ie China,Korea) arises. Does anybody believe in standing on their fucking own two anymore? This is fucking America god damn it! The home of the brave. The Feds cant even manage to buy a fucking toilet seat under budget let alone manage another multi-billion dollar bailout. McCain/Obama - they are all the same- tax and spend socialists disguised as self reliant Americans. Fuck them all. We should line them all up like Bobby Dylan said (including the union leaders and corporate execs) and shoot their ass for allowing what has happened to happen. Oh yeah, by the way,I could be arrested for saying that because of the anti-constitutional "Patriot" act. Well Fuck Congress. They don't represent anyone in my neck of the woods anymore and they'll have to pry my guns from my cold dead hands to get me to shut up. It's time they fear us, and fear the working man for the retribution that we will bring if they keep fucking up our pension funds and mothers bank accounts. Congress,corporate america, unions and executives all need a swift kick in the ass to realize how bad they truly have fucked up! I'm ready to do it! I've had enough of this class war bullshit!


Every time I hear a completely nonsensical rant like this I wish I had a time machine that could teleport the person to the alternate universe they're wishing for, in the hope that maybe it would rectify their retarded short-sightedness.



I'm still trying to figure out when Bob Dylan said "line them up against the wall and shoot their ass..." surreal

FellOnEarth

FellOnEarth

Temecula, CA
April 2006

NOV 18, 2008 02:11 PM

FridgeMagnet said:
"Our retarded Republican friends "

This site is a joke. You are a joke. The people who run this site and tolerate this bullshit are a joke.

Whether or not I agree with your argument doesn't even matter. The vitriol that spews forth unchecked in this forum is pathetic and exclusionary. Don't like someone's opinion? Insult them. Awesome. Sounds like something O'Reilly would do.

For a site and a writer that so openly mock religion, I've never seen such a confluence of blind dogmatic horseshit. Simply put, you are a poor excuse for a writer and wanna be pundit.


Who's spewing vitriol now FridgeMagnet? Perhaps if you had something more constructive to say about the OP article, I might listen to you instead, all I hear is "blah, blah, blah, O'Reilly." Unless you present some thought provoking ideas in opposition to FTR's article (and I seriously would like to hear them), you just look like a hypocrite to me.

FellOnEarth

FellOnEarth

Temecula, CA
April 2006

NOV 18, 2008 02:36 PM

carolinacoonass said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Fuck the bailout. Let the automotive industry go up in flames and see what phoenix (ie China,Korea) arises. Does anybody believe in standing on their fucking own two anymore? This is fucking America god damn it! The home of the brave. The Feds cant even manage to buy a fucking toilet seat under budget let alone manage another multi-billion dollar bailout. McCain/Obama - they are all the same- tax and spend socialists disguised as self reliant Americans. Fuck them all. We should line them all up like Bobby Dylan said (including the union leaders and corporate execs) and shoot their ass for allowing what has happened to happen. Oh yeah, by the way,I could be arrested for saying that because of the anti-constitutional "Patriot" act. Well Fuck Congress. They don't represent anyone in my neck of the woods anymore and they'll have to pry my guns from my cold dead hands to get me to shut up. It's time they fear us, and fear the working man for the retribution that we will bring if they keep fucking up our pension funds and mothers bank accounts. Congress,corporate america, unions and executives all need a swift kick in the ass to realize how bad they truly have fucked up! I'm ready to do it! I've had enough of this class war bullshit!


Sounds like a serious case of persecution complex. You should get that looked at.

I'm not at all thrilled with the idea of trying of injecting billions of dollars directly to the banks or the failing auto industry. However, I understand that unless we do something the economy is going to keep spiraling downward and that's something that effects everyone of us. Also, I think about the number of jobs that are going to be lost and It makes my stomach churn. (Do you really want to see that many more people losing their homes, turning to crime and queuing up for a "government handout" anyways?) I know it can be difficult, but we need to develop a long view of the consequences of inaction if we're going to remain productive as a nation.

Also, from what I understand, the auto bailout isn't just a freebee, it would be a low-interest loan, so the money will be headed right back where it came from, with interest. Also, the UAW cannot be blamed for the crisis, they simply build the crappy cars, it's the executives who've been in league with the oil industry who need to get the boot. Sure there ought to be more strings attached (like mandatory efficiency standards), but letting the whole train go flying off the rails just because the conductor is drunk at the throttle isn't the right thing to do.

Honestly speaking though, as a former consumer (I exclusively ride a bike now), I never did like cars being manufactured by the American auto industry. The last two cars I owned were a Mazda RX-7 (Original) and a Toyota Rav-4. I'm considering another foreign car, possibly a VW Jetta Sportwagon TDI or another Toyota (preferably a hybrid). They're more expensive then I really can afford, but its the efficiency of the vehicles and the long-term cost that are driving my interest... If America can start producing similar vehicles, I might consider switching brands, but until then, I guess I'm just going to have to be unAmerican.

Toku666

Toku666

Columbus, OH
May 2004

NOV 18, 2008 02:48 PM

Besides, how does that make for a "wannabe" pundit? From Nicholas Kristof and his time-wasting O'Reilly/Darfur lambaste to all of Cal Thomas' deceitful right-tard bloviation, there are pundits all over the spectrum that could be categorized as "confluence(s) of blind dogmatic horseshit" and are still considered the "professionals" posting from within "legitimate" mainstream media.

I wonder whether Fridge would care to make a reasoned enlightened review of the article, filling the rest of us in on Reaper's terrible mistakes as a writer, or was that just another easy jab to blindly throw sideways in the middle of the response left?

Adroitbeing

Adroitbeing

I'm lost
September 2003

NOV 18, 2008 03:11 PM

The extended supply chain for auto makers would effect 13-17 million jobs; this during a period where the US is experiencing a net decline in the number of jobs available. Nearly 1 in 10 jobs in this country is tied to the auto industry. There is no choice for those 13-17 million citizens, we must provide the automakers with assistance.

Or, we could do it later, after they file Chapter 11 and the pension funds stand in line as unsecured creditors and those autoworkers lose their retirement incomes. My guess is those losses become taxpayer losses later when retiring autoworkers seek federal assistance for retirement.

But automakers have a number of problems that any bail out must address:
- operating profits are unacceptable. They must reduce real expenses - and not simply strip away benefits from the workforce

- product focus must be addressed by meeting an unmet market need. SUVs are high margin products, but fail to meet the market need and adding more blue tooth, video screens, and iPod players looks a lot like granite counters and stainless steel appliances in houses. They are very appealing but simply add customer cost and do nothing to further solidify the industry

- downsizing must take place. Within the US and most of Europe, a discrete market exists. The market does not simply continue to grow to support the growth objectives of auto manufacturers. US companies must find a way to compete for growth in India and China while accepting that US and European buyers are now going to hold onto cars longer, purchase used, and struggle with the expense of new car financing

newhope

newhope

Tempe, AZ
September 2007

NOV 18, 2008 03:31 PM

Detroit has voted Democrat for years and now their unemployment is over 9%, keep voiting them in, it will only get worse!

Gm has over 7,000 dealerships and Toyota has 1200, and they are number one in car sales, Unions are to blame, the majority of the bailout would go to the pension funds of retired, not working, employees, I guess the federal government should pay everyone's retirement fund, right?

The unions have already said they WILL NOT work with management, what do they expect, their cars are shit and so are the people working there!

Toku666

Toku666

Columbus, OH
May 2004

NOV 18, 2008 03:42 PM

newhope said:
Detroit has voted Democrat for years and now their unemployment is over 9%, keep voiting them in, it will only get worse!

Gm has over 7,000 dealerships and Toyota has 1200, and they are number one in car sales, Unions are to blame, the majority of the bailout would go to the pension funds of retired, not working, employees, I guess the federal government should pay everyone's retirement fund, right?

The unions have already said they WILL NOT work with management, what do they expect, their cars are shit and so are the people working there!



Oh my, where to start?

You start off with a correlation misinterpretation. There's no reason to assume (probably only enough to guess, begging evidence) that the vote has any causal relation to the unemployment.

Then you connect a ratio of GM to Toyota dealerships, dash off a quick factoid, and then connect that to the unions? What effect do auto unions have on the number of dealerships or sales? Neither of these are affected by union policy. Please provide any evidence or logic to show otherwise.

"The unions" have not made any statement like the one you suggest above. That sounded like a Limbaugh quote, man. Geeez...

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

NOV 18, 2008 04:05 PM

FridgeMagnet said:
"Our retarded Republican friends "



dude, what part of 'republican economic policies havent benefitted anyone but the rich in three decades' dont you understand?

Tiger_Fodder

Tiger_Fodder

Braintree, MA
June 2007

NOV 18, 2008 04:40 PM

On NPR (yes, I am a left-wing tree hugging vegetarian type) I heard a very reasoned rationale for letting the car companies go into bankruptcy. This would not put people out of a job, but the car companies could restructured their obligations in a manner that could allow them to compete.

If we do bail them out., ALL of their top management must be replaced with people that can run a business and not a bunch of morons that let the Toyota's of the world eat their lunch.

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