The Frankenliberal

For years I have listened to right wing lunatics, like Rush Limbaugh, describe a liberal who does not exist. Right wing radio is full of non-stop blathering about what Liberals think and say, usually without documentation of any sort. Basically, the right wing has created a Frankenstein type monster, made of up liberal parts. It is the Frankenliberal and it serves one function: To keep the right wing hordes afraid and active, always working against their common enemy.

The Frankenliberal wants to abort all babies three days before they are born, and then toss them in dumpsters. He wants to lose the war because he hates the troops and loves the Iraqis. He wants to hug and talk to al Qaeda, instead of fight them. He hates America. He lives to slander America. He will do anything to make sure the Palestinians destroy Israel. He wants to teach sex education to children. He wants gays to be able to have sex anywhere, anytime and probably in front of children. He believes that most people are stupid and should be cared for at all times. He wants the government to do everything, except go to war. He thinks illegal immigrants should be able to do whatever they want. His taxes can’t be high enough. He has no morality. He is a socialist. He hates all religion, but especially Christianity. He wants to take away everyone’s guns. He wants to discriminate against whites to help minorities. He hates all rich people and wealth.

On and on the list goes. If you are a liberal, think of the most insane position you can, and Limbaugh has probably told his audience that's what you believe. That's all they do on AM radio.

O'Reilly

Hawkins.

Limbaugh.

Savage.

On and on they go. Blah blah blah, day after day. Never mind that this person they so fear does not exist. They’ve taken some random person’s opinion here and some random person’s opinion there and placed them altogether in the Frankenliberal; a giant, scary monster to terrify their right wing audiences. And it’s very effective.

But there is no liberal politician that holds those beliefs. You won’t find one. The collection of accusations is so insane or fantastical it is amazing anyone actually believes it. Of course, that appears to not be true for the right wing. They appear to have found a person who embodies the most frightening ideas the left can conjure up: Sarah Palin.

Over and over again, I have heard right-wingers say they love Palin because she makes liberals crazy. Wow, great reason to support a candidate. You must be proud. Of course, they have their own beliefs explaining why we hate Palin.

The right wing blogs are littered with that kind of simplistic and juvenile thinking. But I won’t disagree with them on this point: I am scared shitless of Palin ever becoming president, because she is the Frankenright-winger. She is the exact opposite of everything I believe – to an extreme.

She believes we are fighting a religious war in Iraq.

She doesn’t believe in abortion, even in cases of rape or incest.

She wants to expand the powers of the Vice Presidency.

She does not believe man is responsible for global warming.

She received a church blessing to keep her safe from “witchcraft.”

She believes in religion over science.

She was raised in a church that takes the book of Revelations literally and believes the endtimes will come during our lifetime.

She puts special interests (Oil) before the environment and sound science.

She believes in book banning.

She tried to have the polar bear removed from the endangered species list.

I mean, come on, the fucking polar bear. She is literally the right wing lunatic we fear in our worst dreams. A religious lunatic who appears to make decisions based on what she thinks God wants and seems to have an aversion to any book that is not The Bible. After years of running around making shit up about what liberals believe and what they don’t’, the right wing has chosen a woman who is cartoonishly conservative. And it is quickly becoming a major anchor in their campaign.

Imagine if the Democrats had chosen an equally extreme candidate? The right wing would be losing their minds. That Frankenliberal they so love to talk about has never, and will never, be chosen as a Democratic candidate, mostly because he’s not real. But also because the Democratic Party wouldn’t stand for a lunatic as their VP. Unfortunately, the right wing nuts seem to be using liberal’s fear of Palin to continue to Frankenliberal myth. On and on it goes….

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.